Time-outs? Spanking? How to Raise Healthy Kids in a Toxic Culture | The Lila Rose Podcast E116
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- čas přidán 27. 07. 2024
- Today I sit down with Dr. Meg Meeker, a renowned pediatrician, author and leading authority on parenting and children’s health. In our conversation, Dr. Meeker shares her insights on the critical role of strong parenting in shaping healthy, well-adjusted children. We cover a wide range of topics, including the sexualization of teenagers, encouraging young girls to embrace modesty, dealing with temper tantrums, and helping children feel loved while establishing boundaries. We also discuss strategies to avoid shaming your child, address pornography exposure, promote dad-inclusive parenting, and more. Join us as we explore practical advice and the foundational principles that help parents raise confident and capable children.
Learn more about Dr. Meeker and her work by visiting her website: www.megmeekermd.com
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Timestamps:
00:00 - Intro Sequence
00:40 - Introduction
01:08 - From Pediatrician to Author
02:42 - Seven Weeks Coffee
03:28 - The Sexualization of Teenagers
05:15 - Sex Sells
06:55 - Sexualization vs Showcasing Beauty
10:15 - Encouraging Young Girls to Embrace Modesty
14:24 - Resisting Manipulative Marketing on Social Media
17:30 - Being An Ally to Your Children
18:30 - No Cell Phones for Kids Under 16
20:35 - Dr. Meeker's View on Gentle Parenting
24:40 - Dealing With Temper Tantrums
26:40 - Helping Children Feel Loved While Establishing Boundaries
29:43 - Hallow App
30:20 - Recommended Affirmations for Children
31:53 - The Proper Way to Correct Bad Behavior
34:17 - Timeouts
36:55 - Tone of Voice
39:57 - Over Explaining Things to Children
43:10 - Is Spanking Effective?
47:22 - Avoiding Shaming Your Child
50:00 - Is it Appropriate to Shame Behaviors?
51:30 - Good Ranchers
52:15 - Addressing Pornography Exposure
55:40 - Sexual Abuse
57:45 - Avoid Male Babysitters
59:17 - Red Flags With Female Babysitters
1:02:00 - Child to Child Sexual Abuse
1:05:50 - Everylife.com
1:07:10 - Dad Inclusive Parenting
1:14:30 - Where to Find Dr. Meeker's Work
1:15:00 - Wrap Up
Spanking has its place in discipline, however if you study proverbs it only mentions the rod about three times and everything else is training, training, training, training. The rod should not replace training! And this is what the previous generation did, they spanked like crazy and caused a pendulum swing to the gentle parenting movement, which is also terrible
Oh nice! Looking forward to this one. I read her book Strong Fathers Strong Daughters. Highly recommend! Got her book Boys Should Be Boys too and it's up to bat. She's awesome.
This was wonderful, thank you!!!! The screens topic was spot on, since putting away our phones for most of the day we've seen a HUGE 180 degree shift in our three year old's behavior.
Thank you Dr.Meeker, this podcast was extremely helpful to me and my husband. We listened to some parts during the day and were able to put into action what we learned tonight. We had such a different and fun night with the kids, it was amazing because we were intentional. My husband and I were chatting after the kids went to sleep and he said it’s hard but we as parents need to hold ourselves accountable to become better for them, they deserve that from us. Looking at my own childhood experience I would have loved that from my parents and the lack of it really hurt me for a long time.
Again thank you 🙏🏻
This is so awesome to hear. Will pass this comment on to her!
so much info packed in here... prayerfully I'll be using some of the tools. i wish i could find a Dr like her for my son!😊
Hi, Lila! I just went to say you’re amazing! We see eye to eye in things. Love you!
What does God have to say on the matter of parenting and disciplining our children?
Proverbs 13:24
Whoever spares the rod hates their children,
but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them.
Proverbs 23:13-14
13 Do not withhold discipline from a child;
if you punish them with the rod, they will not die.
14 Punish them with the rod
and save them from death.
Proverbs 24:11
Rescue those being led away to death; hold back those staggering toward slaughter.
Amen!
There is also much, much more...we are not to exasperate our children or they will become discouraged (Col. 3:21). We are to teach God's precepts diligently to our children in every aspect & every moment of life (Deut. 6:7). We show our love in actions towards our children that are sincere, not just in our words (1 John 3:18). We must show our children love that is patient, kind, gentle, not seeking our own way, not irritable or resentful (1 Cor. 13:4-7). I totally agree with you that to love our children is to discipline &correct them & teach them the right way to go, to lovingly bring them back form the path that leads to death. But it is in the context of loving them with the love of God the Father for us, a relationship filled with gentleness, tenderness, affection, kindness. Only then can we capture our children's hearts for God! :)
@@annadavis6890 absolutely and loving them and teaching them can involve corporal punishment
@@mikethemonsta15only if you are a bad parent. There is literally no reason to resort to violence- it reflects a defect in oneself.
@@Foxie770 not according to scripture or the good parents that have used corporal punishment for millenia
I appreciated her takes even more than I thought I would! And I’ve digested and tested A LOT of different advice over the years.
So glad! I loved her!
LILA thank you ! I loved this video. Finally someone who agrees with me on timeouts , gentle parenting , and over explaining things to children.
It’s just so much common sense!
Thank you for your questions 😊 and for the answers
What about toddlers (14months) throwing food at the table? Ive tried everything. Popping the hand. Ignoring it. Saying in a nice voice, "no" saying in a harsh voice "no". Showing him to put him food back in his plate when he wants to throw it. Absolutely nothing works. Will he grow put of it? What do I do in the meantime?
Every 14 month old (and a good bit older) ever will do that and there's no way to stop it. Most kids under two, in my experience, can't really be disciplined, especially not for little things like that. He'll grow out of it.
Usually when they are throwing food it means they’re done eating. Just get them down and you can always offer a snack later.
Get a mat to go underneath this is a phase of learning depth perceptions and gravity it’s a good sign but not fun to clean up embrace and out an easy to clean surface underneath also giving only one piece at. Stone for food delays the mess
Watch a video on teaching them to sign more, please, thank you, and all done. Once they understand and can sign "all done", maybe that would help. Or I'd put less food on the tray. Or feed with a spoon.
This episode came at a great time. I’ve been really struggling with my terrible 2 toddler. Thank you for this! ❤
Dude, such a hard age. You might like Olivia Owen. She has 7 kids and does a lot of videos demonstrating what she does with her 3 youngest kids that are right around that age bracket.
Thank you so much! Just subscribed to her channel haha. I appreciate the recommendation!
I’m having a very hard time parenting my 4 year old. She doesn’t listen to me and when I try to discipline her she intentionally doesn’t hear me. I’m such a frustrated and unhappy mother
That sounds very tough. I hope this episode helps!
@@LilaRosePodcast thank you. It’s on pause but I’m so excited to finish it tomorrow 😍
I feel you. It can be both. We can take accountability for what we’re missing AND it can genuinely be a challenge with strong willed kids. 1-4 was the HARDEST with mine. I promise you, all the parents and families that seem to have it figured out by that age do run into the same issues. The good news is how those personalities can serve them well when they’re older. But it’s so fatiguing. I have done play date swaps with other moms to catch a break. I also promise that you will try things that don’t move the needle as much as you want, but they really do build upon each other. Don’t underestimate the power of affirming right actions with one on one playtime or other playfulness from you.
This video below helped me a ton, regardless of whether my child has autism. Olivia Owen, Abbie Halberstadt, and Ginger Hubbard have solid advice. Like gentle without being gentle parenting. I also get inspired by how to connect with my kiddo by watching a family called SaraPlusTwins and this random channel called BratBusters (I know, but it’s not how it sounds; she’s got some great basic advice I wasn’t doing).
m.czcams.com/video/RhdiXNyxZi8/video.html
One thing I have that helps me is staying to them and putting that time to your kid your their mom, not their friend. And continously doing that and making sure you yourself are proud to be their momma and have the heart to discipline them. Somewhere I was it was a proverb "He who withholds the rod [of discipline] hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines and trains him diligently and appropriately [with wisdom and love]
4 is a really tough age. If you haven’t heard of it, I would check out Nicholeen Peck’s CZcams channel. She teaches a course called “teaching self government” and she teaches proven principles and her experience raising 4 of her own children in addition to troubled foster children with a wide range of neurodiversity (O.D.D., OCD, ASD, ADHD, etc..) She has a video specific to 4 year olds, id encourage you to listen to it. Hang in there, you’re doing sacrificial work and this season won’t last forever. I’m in the thick of it myself, you are not alone.
Love Meg Meeker's books! I'm not sure if I understand well, since a lot of very young kids, also of 8-9 years old, accidentally meet pornography, should we talk about it to our children at this young age? And with what words, given that at that age they are not able to understand what it means?
Good conversation, but this didn't address the elephant in the room: how to parent in the midst of a culture of divorce in the Western world. It is MUCH harder than when both parents are in the home. And sad to note that we don't include Dads when 70% (or more) of divorces in the US are filed by women. Would love to hear Dr. Meeker discuss this next time. Thanks.
Thanks Lila! "Liked" before listening! Always excited to see when a new podcast episode pops up on my phone! Hope your energetic baby daughter is keeping everybody busy! And hope you and your family are having a blessed June, Sacred Heart of Jesus month! It's the month Roe was overturned June 24th 2022 on the Solemnity of the Most Sacred Heart of Jesus and the Solemnity of the Nativity of St. John the Baptist saving over 32,000 babies!
A Prayer to the Sacred Heart of Jesus
Oh Lord Jesus Christ, to Your most Sacred Heart I confide this intention {name petition}.
Only look upon me, then do what Your love inspires. Let Your Sacred Heart decide.
I count on You. I trust in You. I throw myself on Your mercy. Lord Jesus, You will not fail me.
Sacred Heart of Jesus, I trust in You.
Sacred Heart of Jesus, I believe in Your love for me.
Sacred Heart of Jesus, Your kingdom come.
Sacred Heart of Jesus, I have asked You for many favors, but I earnestly implore this one.
Take it, place it in Your open Heart.
When the Eternal Father looks upon it, He will see it covered with Your Precious Blood.
It will be no longer my prayer, but Yours, Jesus. Sacred Heart of Jesus,
I place all my trust in You. Let me not be disappointed. Amen.
This is one of my favorite verses to reference to bring to mind the dignity of life-
When Mother Mary was pregnant with Jesus, she went on an about eighty mile joyous journey to visit her cousin Saint Elizabeth (patron saint of expectant mothers and pregnant women) in her hour of need, Elizabeth said referencing her tiny child in her womb John the Baptist who was conceived when she was in old age:
Luke 1:41-44 When Elizabeth heard Mary’s greeting, the infant leaped in her womb, and Elizabeth, filled with the Holy Spirit, cried out in a loud voice and said, “Most blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb. And how does this happen to me, that the mother of my Lord should come to me?
Thank you for your continual defense of the dignity of life, Lila! Hope you and your family have a light-filled peaceful joyful month!
At the time they were painted they were meant to do something. Christians in the past covered up a lot of that art.
Give your child affirmation and they will "listen to anything you have to say". Transaction, transaction transaction. Also totally unrealistic expectation.
No sleepovers. Yes.
Corporal punishment is legal for a reason
Not everywhere. The majority of the West has illegalized it. (But parents do it anyway, because it's pretty much a natural response.)
Completely disagree with one moment at 53:15 about "porn finds kids" no, it doesn't. Parents, especially of young children, are responsible for protecting them from that filth. Be present and vigilant. Don't allow young kids independent access to the internet.
What about just driving down the street where there’s indecent billboards? Or shopping at the grocery store and there’s women who wear underwear made out of denim and calling it shorts and only a bralette?
@@AA-gu4mwthat’s not porn 🤦♀️
@@TB-rx1ue imagery that is meant to arouse someone is pornographic. It doesn’t just have to be videos online of people having sex.
You cannot control what their friends are doing or have access to playing in the woods or in someone’s house. It’s simply not realistic to think you can be in control all the time. You are not.
That's partially true. Screens should be delayed, limited access, not in bedrooms etc. But historically most people stumble upon p0rn. In the days of print p0rn , it could be stumbled on at a dumpster, stumbled on at a friend's house, stumbled on under a couch or seat in a car, etc Now days, it can pn a friend's iPhone at elementary school, at a friend or neighbors home if you allow play dates or sleepovers, at soccer practice on a teammates iPhone.
The whole premise of gentle parenting is to teach a child how to deal with their emotions positively. You set boundaries without threatening your child into submission. I am so fed up of people talking about gentle parenting and why it’s bad while literally explaining what the opposite of gentle parenting is 🙃
Unfortunately what it wants to be it’s not, it’s a whole pendulum swing of an ideology from spanking kids for EVERYTHING and being a dictator in a home. At the foundation of “gentle parenting” is putting everyone on the same level, even husband and wife. That’s not Biblically correct at all and will cause chaos. Christ is above the family, husband above the wife and wife over the children. BUT all are equal in value before Christ. Gentle parenting movement is worldly, and while they may have two good points, they’re not rooted in reality or have any proven studies to show long-term effects, except for what we see today- grown children with unhinged “ validated” emotions don’t know how to control themselves and think the world is out to get them. Biblical parenting is gentle and loving, gentle parentingis un biblical.
Talking endlessly about how people feel is making everyone caught up in their feelings, overly sensitive, offended all the time, etc.
She does not seem to be qualified to speak on spanking. Obviously,. spanking your kid because you're at the end of your rope, that's just abuse. Not discipline. If thats all she knows about spanking, she's not knowledgeable about the topic. Glad Lila brought up other schools of thought.
Don't sp@nk at your whits end. Speak. They obey or not. Praise obedience. Sp@nk for disobedience. This is about age 2 to 7 when reasoning and verbal lectures are ineffective.
The way she talks about children and how to treat them is so gross. At least she doesn't support hitting though.
What is gross about it?
@@Madi-ls5uu Finding out what your child loves/cares about most so that you can use it against them, and the general attitude she has about her authority over children. She also severely misrepresented "gentle parenting" (which I don't even fully agree with) which makes it seem like she was being purposefully dishonest.
She's not in any way gross. She's not a millennial.
I find proponents of gentle parenting tend to claim it's misrepresented yet they never articulate how the person disagreeing with it is wrong.