Why Everyone Hates Wizards

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  • čas přidán 3. 08. 2024
  • ew.
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Komentáře • 3K

  • @apple10234
    @apple10234 Před 2 lety +2583

    “You are a wizard, Harry.”
    “So what does that mean?”
    “It means you’re a pervert.”

  • @Grainus
    @Grainus Před 2 lety +9633

    Goblins with guns are incredibly dangerous, these wizards should learn to magically conjure bullet proof armors

    • @shytendeakatamanoir9740
      @shytendeakatamanoir9740 Před 2 lety +251

      A good old Earth Wizard is always useful during those moments.
      Well... They would be without those pesky laws about "preserving the landscape". Yeah sure, this place used to be a boring ass plain, and now it's a cool mountain. Boohoo, what a huge lost!

    • @justinfritz4817
      @justinfritz4817 Před 2 lety +43

      Ah yes, Aramidius Vestus, one of my favorites.

    • @succo928
      @succo928 Před 2 lety +111

      @@shytendeakatamanoir9740 i think it was because those Chinese wizards tried to combine it with necromancy and made an army of stone warriors, hopefully they got arrested before doing something with it

    • @shytendeakatamanoir9740
      @shytendeakatamanoir9740 Před 2 lety +76

      @@succo928 They just used that incident to pass the laws, but they wanted to shut all mages for a while.
      And necromancy has bad press, but we all know many rulers take advice from ghosts.
      Now wonder magic appears boring and unnecessary when anything fun is prohibited. Soon, even polymorphism will be banned. And that is just sad, you know...

    • @no1ce688
      @no1ce688 Před 2 lety +9

      or projectile-proof forcefields

  • @Bruhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

    I love the concept of doing “relatable” rants about completely unrealistic things as if they’re everyday occurrences and pet peeves. We need more of this kind of rant video

    • @Kuramaru-ce2db
      @Kuramaru-ce2db Před rokem

      Wdym completely unrealistic, yesterday, just when I was about to go to train some dumbass wizard summoned earth golem in the middle of the railroad, people were so pissed off and that guy just left riding his golem after destroying rails, needless to say I was late to work, shitty wizard

    • @banana1729
      @banana1729 Před rokem +33

      i agree.

    • @phi1688
      @phi1688 Před rokem +145

      I see it as an allegory. The more and more I watch his videos, the more and more I see the criticisms and life lessons this guy is teaching. It’s like a therapist who babbles about incoherent stories but by linking every 5th word together you’ll realize he’s trying to say something

    • @fakeweeb8655
      @fakeweeb8655 Před rokem +85

      @@phi1688 i thought it was obvious satire of other patterns of ostracization we see, and the justifications people give for them, lol

    • @phi1688
      @phi1688 Před rokem +15

      @@fakeweeb8655 well yeah, this video is a pretty obvious example of that, I’m just commenting on the “rant video” thing in the main comment

  • @MiotaLee
    @MiotaLee Před rokem +923

    Not even mentioning that we had to get rid of paper money because of wizards who kept using prestidigitation to trick you into thinking that the piece of paper he gave you was actually a 20$ bill

    • @theloweffortchannel7211
      @theloweffortchannel7211 Před rokem +1

      Based wizards inconveniencing the (((Federal Reserve)))

    • @drizzmatec
      @drizzmatec Před rokem +128

      Look just because you dumped Intelligence, and can't pass the Investigation check needed to identify an illusion as a result, doesn't mean you can blame wizards.

    • @UncIe-Ben
      @UncIe-Ben Před rokem +52

      @@drizzmatec Exactly! I was looking all over the realms for somebody who actually understands and researches a topic before they decide to post their opinion about our magic.

    • @MiotaLee
      @MiotaLee Před rokem +2

      Relax, it's a joke.

    • @valletas
      @valletas Před rokem +35

      @@MiotaLee the only joke is our economy especially when we compare it the the goblin who not only are thriving but their GDP are starting to match our own
      They are already the largest military force in the planet now they are also getting the best equipament
      I cant entirely blame on wizards tho its also the faulty of the millions of warriors and "adventurers" who waste our precious resources into swords and armors that are completely innefective against the guns goblins are using only for their bodies to be looted by goblins and used to only make more guns and ammo

  • @dan9738
    @dan9738 Před 2 lety +15575

    "It's not the middle ages anymore, wizards!"
    -A literal sword-wielding knight

    • @NuclearTopSpot
      @NuclearTopSpot Před 2 lety +580

      Ey, it's carbon fiber reinforced.. tungsten carbide coated, laser cut long sword! High elf tech!

    • @federalcasemaker
      @federalcasemaker Před 2 lety +277

      @@NuclearTopSpot and the elf weaponsmith herself uses a high-tech lightweight assault rifle designed specifically for mercenaries fighting against anomalous eldritch entities.

    • @northropi2027
      @northropi2027 Před 2 lety +143

      @@federalcasemaker and the knights themselves are Metal Gear Rising cyborgs under the armor

    • @federalcasemaker
      @federalcasemaker Před 2 lety +73

      @@northropi2027 and the "wizards" are just really good combat engineers

    • @lolgamez9171
      @lolgamez9171 Před 2 lety +8

      Ratio

  • @thepizzaman6310
    @thepizzaman6310 Před 2 lety +4160

    I can relate. I was eating at a restaurant and this wizard dude at my table just kept going on about his spells and when I asked him for a bit of quiet so I could eat in peace, he sent me to the 12th plane of chaos. Thankfully I had a warlock friend who's patron lived there who teleported me back to the normal world.

    • @ultimaxkom8728
      @ultimaxkom8728 Před rokem +221

      Lucky you. I was once sent to a place called Earth and it's- **shudder** l-let's let's just forget about it...

    • @eunhokim5713
      @eunhokim5713 Před rokem +84

      @@ultimaxkom8728 earth isn't that bad
      minus trafficking, abuse, bullying, harassment, and etc, it's a sorta good place

    • @ultimaxkom8728
      @ultimaxkom8728 Před rokem +79

      @@eunhokim5713 You don't understand. Earth is a hell for us - literal. The planet's temperature slowly melt our bodies the second we enter its atmosphere. It's anything *but* good. It's torture.

    • @eunhokim5713
      @eunhokim5713 Před rokem +21

      @@ultimaxkom8728 it wasn't always like that though, was it...?

    • @ultimaxkom8728
      @ultimaxkom8728 Před rokem +33

      @@eunhokim5713 I think it's about 350 years ago since then. In planet Perisolerian's years that is. As for now? We don't know. Our rogue planet has drifted too far away for us to check.

  • @adon155
    @adon155 Před rokem +455

    the idea of a wizard looking into your future just to get petty revenge is amazing

    • @Bruhtatochip742
      @Bruhtatochip742 Před rokem

      Here's my favorite example of that
      czcams.com/video/M22-W77cIO0/video.html

    • @TiroDvD
      @TiroDvD Před rokem

      Dr. Orpheus did this in Venture Brothers. czcams.com/video/r94szVfch7Q/video.html

    • @AKcess_Dnied
      @AKcess_Dnied Před 5 měsíci +7

      No, man, he didn't really look into your future. He was just making a threat.

    • @ViviBuchlaw
      @ViviBuchlaw Před 2 měsíci +1

      You won't think it's so amazing when it happens to you

  • @destinationEuropa
    @destinationEuropa Před rokem +474

    A wizard actually managed to get elected mayor of my village back in '04. He was generally popular for a while after lowering property taxes and instituting a goblin pox awareness program. But there was a big scandal when it turned out he had enthralled the girl's volleyball team to sing the Songs of the Sixth Circle and polish his orb

    • @throwtea
      @throwtea Před 9 měsíci

      Aawh, dude, his ORB?! WHAT A SCUMBAG!

    • @ArturoPladeado
      @ArturoPladeado Před 9 měsíci +20

      Orb? shouldn't it be orbs or was he in an accident?

    • @GodActio
      @GodActio Před 7 měsíci +91

      @@ArturoPladeado No, literally his all-seeing orb. Turns out the bragging value of one polished by an entire girls volleyball team that sang the songs of the sixth circle is unbelievably high. Legend says that he became mayor in a grand scheme all for that one day. He's been insufferably bragging about his polished orb to any wizard he runs across, and on wizard-net.

    • @usernametaken017
      @usernametaken017 Před 5 měsíci +14

      ew that's so disgusting

    • @ViviBuchlaw
      @ViviBuchlaw Před 2 měsíci +3

      Wizards like this need to be permanently banished to Pandemonium smh

  • @Eliagiulio
    @Eliagiulio Před 2 lety +18379

    This video feels like a very elaborate shitpost and a genius metaphor at the same time

    • @twinknecrosis
      @twinknecrosis Před 2 lety +353

      metaphor about what? no hate just wondering

    • @deepfriedpotato9668
      @deepfriedpotato9668 Před 2 lety +1142

      @@twinknecrosis replace "wizards" and magic with any profession and anything they do.
      Discriminating people for the work they do exist since who knows how long?

    • @kigamezero8636
      @kigamezero8636 Před 2 lety +299

      @@deepfriedpotato9668 sorry. I have like 1.5 brain cells left and couldn't correlate the two.

    • @Eliagiulio
      @Eliagiulio Před 2 lety +259

      @@twinknecrosis I dunno, it just seems like it's implying something or parodying something

    • @snowob
      @snowob Před 2 lety +84

      yup that's the channel

  • @MatthewPherigo
    @MatthewPherigo Před 2 lety +13269

    Video essays from alternate universes is a great idea and I support it

    • @Amparito847
      @Amparito847 Před 2 lety +538

      What do you mean alternate universe? I see a wizard staring at me from the bathroom stall right now

    • @flidethechemist
      @flidethechemist Před 2 lety +320

      Perhaps you're the one living in an alternate universe? Just this morning I saw a wizard on this old and rickety broom stuck in traffic right in front of me. It looked a little ridiculous, now that I think about it.

    • @ahedgehog9297
      @ahedgehog9297 Před 2 lety +111

      One of my friends (wizard) just sent me a message rn, what do you mean “alternate universe”?

    • @curiousauthor9827
      @curiousauthor9827 Před 2 lety +125

      next youre gonna be saying the sky is still blue

    • @akatosh5689
      @akatosh5689 Před 2 lety +59

      I hope I lived wherever you do, last week I ran into some wizard pondering their orbs in a public park, I had my little cousin with me, some don't know about public decency smh

  • @matthewlyons6544
    @matthewlyons6544 Před rokem +323

    Maybe if you didn’t shun young wizards they wouldn’t isolate themselves and instead be well adjusted for social situations.

    • @Dodanon
      @Dodanon Před 5 měsíci +31

      EXACTLY

    • @RandomMushroom-xm5kj
      @RandomMushroom-xm5kj Před 5 měsíci +14

      Thank you very much

    • @QSBraWQ
      @QSBraWQ Před 5 měsíci +7

      But they're so useless

    • @raspberryjam
      @raspberryjam Před 5 měsíci +30

      I feel like I'm going insane with how much blind prejudice everyone has for wizards. Anytime someone even mentions seeing something in an orb everyone immediately jumps to calling them a future otherworld scribe, or otherwise "forming a subconscious bridge" as if that doesnt happen tenfold in mundane academia. Like congratulations you recognize that scrying sickness is bad actually, whoop-de-doo. Question, _why_ exactly is scrying sickness bad? "It's an unnatural perturbation of magic" what are you, Amish? Everything's a perturbation of magic, computers are about as unnatural as you can get and you don't seem too pressed about those. The issue is that it _erodes the mind._ Not that it's unnatural, not that it changes you, it's that it damages your self and leads you to harm others. Magic itself doesn't even harm you, it's the sole trust in the arcane that opens you up to that kind of stuff. People just need to open up trust for fledgling wizards, focus on the intersectionality of artifice and mental heath, and stop blaming wizards for things that can be addressed with basic fucking decency

    • @QSBraWQ
      @QSBraWQ Před 5 měsíci

      @@raspberryjam no, computers are very natural actually, they follow every law of physics. Also if we gonna trust wizzards, not only will it give them opportunity to rule the world, but it will make wizzards morel mainstream, and they are awful. You don't want them to be main hoard of people who run society.

  • @dontspeaktoelectrohead1491
    @dontspeaktoelectrohead1491 Před rokem +209

    I saw a wizard at a grocery store in Los Angeles yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet one in person but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything.
    He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?”
    I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying.
    The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.
    When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.

    • @zaloskog
      @zaloskog Před 9 měsíci +23

      how rude, as a wizard myself I would never insult my honor like that

    • @VeeZzz123
      @VeeZzz123 Před 4 měsíci +4

      @@zaloskog I get you. They are the loud minority, and all wizards suffer prejudice because of them :/

  • @GingerPale
    @GingerPale Před 2 lety +2482

    wizards are the worst kind of people. Someone had to say it

    • @FerretyZebra
      @FerretyZebra Před 2 lety +78

      I am really disapointed, i loved your content but you are steryotiping the minority that is wizards.

    • @micahneo8985
      @micahneo8985 Před 2 lety +30

      Wizards who have bot orbs are disliking this comment right now

    • @gopgoomy1834
      @gopgoomy1834 Před rokem +37

      As a wizard myself, I am deeply saddened that another one of my favorite CZcamsrs generalized and insulted my people.

    • @qualivia
      @qualivia Před rokem +15

      Let me guess, Your a warrior.

    • @deceitfuljester7172
      @deceitfuljester7172 Před rokem +6

      My fiance is a wizard, and I love him very dearly! You just have to find the ones that are also bisexual tieflings, *those* sorts of wizards are delightful people!

  • @AmbiguouslyAnonymous
    @AmbiguouslyAnonymous Před 2 lety +5094

    1:07 Actually have a funny story related to that.
    Back in Grade 4 I knew this kid that claimed he knew how to do magic. He claimed to always get perfect test scores because he could use his all-seeing orb to find out what all the answers were and insisted on always being excused from dodgeball during P.E. because his magic was so powerful that a single hit from one would send the school into another dimension.
    Of course no one really believed him at first, but one day he got mad at our English teacher Ms. Eleanor for grading his paper with a 0 and transformed her into a chicken (apparently using his orb to write an essay counted as plagiarising someone from the 7th Realm).
    Obviously it was at that point that we realized he had been telling the truth the whole time, and we quickly realized he was actually a 155 year old wizard who had incorrectly brewed a youth potion that now caused him to have to relive childhood. A whole bunch of us started asking him to use his magic to make us cool things (I asked for a Dairy Queen gift card) and overall we had a lot of fun messing around with his magic that day.
    Unfortunately during all of the commotion, all of us had failed to realize that the lunchlady had mistaken Ms. Eleanor as the meat to be used in the chicken sandwiches for lunch that day. I had the soup so I didn't get to try one, but one of my friends told me she tasted pretty good. The wizard got expelled the next day because I guess Ms. Eleanor's family got mad at him or something and complained. None of us ever saw him again after that, but I still think about that day from time to time whenever I eat at a Dairy Queen now.

    • @AlphaDidThings
      @AlphaDidThings Před 2 lety +505

      I'm sorry but...what the fuck

    • @nervousyoungman6764
      @nervousyoungman6764 Před 2 lety +542

      Yeah, there's this creep in my chemistry class who did something similar. We reported her to the office for turning one of my classmates into a newt, but we didn't have any proof so she got off scott free. I just don't feel comfortable having a wizard in my class. Who knows how old she is? Like for all we know she could be like 120 years old or something.
      One time I saw her looking into her all seeing orb or something and I couldn't see what she was looking at, but it couldn't have been good. I'm sick of all these creeps with magic powers, why can't they give it to someone that's actually pretty, like me, and not some creep like her. Wizards are all the same.

    • @TLAO777
      @TLAO777 Před 2 lety +122

      man I really didn't expect that twist

    • @thegreatscribbles960
      @thegreatscribbles960 Před 2 lety +100

      @@nervousyoungman6764 hey think it about it like this the 100 year old loli is the new craze these days

    • @gagthys2178
      @gagthys2178 Před rokem +58

      they had us in the first half not gonna lie

  • @poopa_stinka
    @poopa_stinka Před rokem +162

    Wizards being real and just obnoxious whimsical weirdos who’s magic is just annoying is my favorite bit

    • @Mrfallouthero
      @Mrfallouthero Před rokem +9

      Yeah, wow dude.. I've always wanted to be friends with a flashlight

  • @adjoint_functor
    @adjoint_functor Před rokem +134

    imagine this being the only historical record left of this century and all the future historians are losing their shit over where all the wizards went

  • @Nobody-ed9bv
    @Nobody-ed9bv Před 2 lety +1598

    My wizard dad used to come home drunk every night and turn me into a frog, and then I had to wait for an hour of him arguing with my mom in the kitchen until she finally managed to convince him to turn me back to normal. Eventually it got so bad my mom had to hide me around the house so he wouldn't find me and turn me into a frog again.
    I will never forgive wizards for this.

    • @creditsunknown7974
      @creditsunknown7974 Před 2 lety +50

      Ngl turning into a frog sounds dope.

    • @matthewbadger8685
      @matthewbadger8685 Před rokem +179

      @@creditsunknown7974 That might be the case, but a child cannot give informed consent to be turned into a frog

    • @yf-n7710
      @yf-n7710 Před rokem +61

      @@matthewbadger8685 Nah, they can give informed consent. The issue is they can't communicate when they want to turn *back* , since frogs can't speak. And anyway, even though they *can* give consent, it doesn't sound like OP did.

    • @entity107
      @entity107 Před rokem +5

      @@matthewbadger8685 but the parents can

    • @doxscund8821
      @doxscund8821 Před rokem +39

      "You cannot consent to becoming a pizza"
      -Ssethzeentach

  • @captainmeadows6307
    @captainmeadows6307 Před 2 lety +2679

    I laughed so hard at the cat part that everyone in my office now knows I'm not actually doing my job

  • @nickster5207
    @nickster5207 Před rokem +193

    Also the fact that every wizard has *zero* self control. When presented with the chance to cast a spell that can destroy the world with the small chance of granting them a longer beard *THEY WILL DO IT*

    • @mailcs06
      @mailcs06 Před 9 měsíci +11

      Man that's a bit of an overgeneralization :(
      I don't even want a beard

    • @ArturoPladeado
      @ArturoPladeado Před 9 měsíci +11

      *BUT LONGER BEARD!*

    • @Noblesse_Sapphire
      @Noblesse_Sapphire Před 5 měsíci +2

      Man, having a beard feels like having a second hair, all of the products to make it shiny or healthy are expensive af, if you didn't do it, it will strangle you and whispering nightmares when you sleep, that's why I shaved mine :"D

    • @gabrielsfilms2086
      @gabrielsfilms2086 Před 5 měsíci

      I wouldn't, mainly because I don't want a beard but like, I still wouldnt

  • @dimensionalchaos8422
    @dimensionalchaos8422 Před rokem +76

    I know a guy called the Iron Wizard. Hates the Fae, wears cold iron armor and throws salt everywhere.
    Also he has alot of sharp things. i dont think they count as swords but he hunts any fae or fairy creature.
    Apparently he was tricked as a kid and his parents were resurected as zombies.

  • @Spoonsies_
    @Spoonsies_ Před 2 lety +522

    You never see Wizards who’s in a relationship. You wonder, why?
    It’s because they’re always pondering their damn orbs, that’s why.

    • @FerretyZebra
      @FerretyZebra Před 2 lety +46

      Who needs relationships when they can Ponder the orb

    • @Drekromancer
      @Drekromancer Před 2 lety +62

      @@FerretyZebra any wizard born after 1993 can't fight... all they know is necromancy, hide, charge they crystals, be antisocial, ponder they orb and lie

    • @zachatyshafer9836
      @zachatyshafer9836 Před rokem +1

      nah its cause they dont know how a shower works

    • @RhobarEisenblut
      @RhobarEisenblut Před rokem +1

      No because it leads to creative magic which means the apocalypse for a world.

    • @G0RSHK0V
      @G0RSHK0V Před rokem

      No, that's because if they will reproduce, the sourcerer can be born, the fabric of reality is to weak for sourcery. Also, sourcerer is likely to start a new magic war, and magic wars are very destructive, and cause magic-active pollution

  • @0BucketMask0
    @0BucketMask0 Před 2 lety +878

    This definitely was originally going to just be a "pondering orb" meme that ended up becoming an entire animated wizard themed mockulist.

  • @Qreamey
    @Qreamey Před rokem +55

    When the Shadow Wizard Money Gang conquers the mortal realm you will be the first to be sacrificed.

  • @danielstatler954
    @danielstatler954 Před rokem +90

    As a wizard myself, i am quite offended. I would never use invisibility to steal, only for sneaking up on people and putting a crossbow bolt in their head from point blank range. For stealing, shape shifting is a much better option as someone who noone knows takes the blame instead and there is no way to prove it was the wizard shape shifting. God I love this country

    • @zaloskog
      @zaloskog Před 9 měsíci +6

      Oh dude I agree 100%, also who said we can't use guns, I have a spell that gives my whatever gun I desire

    • @mailcs06
      @mailcs06 Před 9 měsíci +14

      As a fellow wizard I implore you to stop stealing and instead learn fabricate and use it to make things you can sell for large amounts of profit.

    • @Noblesse_Sapphire
      @Noblesse_Sapphire Před 5 měsíci +3

      ​@@mailcs06oh! Fabricate is such a useful spell, but the thing is it's pretty difficult to master it and it took so much mana & stamina :"D

    • @gabrielsfilms2086
      @gabrielsfilms2086 Před 5 měsíci +1

      I dont get why you dont just learn fabricate, it's probably not that hard to learn? hold on... okay yah you just gotta have something of equal mass of whatever your trying to make plus a lot of mana

    • @ladvargleinad7566
      @ladvargleinad7566 Před 2 měsíci

      You DO realize that crossbow bolts needs airtime to optimize their impact force, right?

  • @Eiroth
    @Eiroth Před 2 lety +585

    I've been called a hat nonce, a staff nonce, and I've just about had it. This video perpetuates outdated stereotypes about wizards, and I won't stand for it!

    • @creditsunknown7974
      @creditsunknown7974 Před 2 lety +9

      Everyone knows Hat nonce is a compliment- Also you still use staffs???? Either get a wand, book, or use your hands like everyone else!
      Everyone should know that staffs, specially old and homemade, keep and trap magoc tocins on them which causes diseases!

    • @Em3.14re
      @Em3.14re Před 2 lety +11

      Yeah, obviously you won’t stand for it- it’s not like you CAN stand, at least not without a walker. Magic user? More like magic loser

    • @EvilMaster4002
      @EvilMaster4002 Před 2 lety +6

      @@creditsunknown7974 As a part of the Melee Wizards staffs are the ultimate weapons, they can be used a Bo staff and after spending 50 percent of your time working out and 50 percent of time learning spells after you casted a non aging spell on yourself you will become a TRUE offensive wizard which can defeat even the strongest raid bosses along with crusaders like a true wizard

    • @creditsunknown7974
      @creditsunknown7974 Před 2 lety +1

      @@EvilMaster4002 THE RAID BOSSES ARENT THE ONLY THING THAT YOU SHOULD BE QORRYING ABOUT- STAFFS KEEP MAGIC TOXINS ON THEM YOU GONNA GET CANCER.

    • @EvilMaster4002
      @EvilMaster4002 Před 2 lety +1

      @@creditsunknown7974 fool im a melee wizard i use the most potent strength magic no toxin will penetrate my supreme body ive trained in fact it will just build my tolerance

  • @frog985-2
    @frog985-2 Před 2 lety +2104

    these videos never fail to ruthlessly murder me

    • @xuesse4662
      @xuesse4662 Před 2 lety +9

      so true

    • @Oscar4u69
      @Oscar4u69 Před 2 lety +47

      unlike a wizard, who can't do anything

    • @Munkaa
      @Munkaa Před 2 lety +7

      Yep .

    • @carnetplank6259
      @carnetplank6259 Před 2 lety +8

      My condolences 🙁

    • @pbwithj534
      @pbwithj534 Před 2 lety +4

      so, yours does the thing where 14 wild hogs come through you speakers and ruthlessly beat you up and then all traces of them dissapear, or is that just me? and all you have to show for it is a small bit of broken tusk in youre left upper forearm?

  • @huhneat1076
    @huhneat1076 Před rokem +191

    I love how all of your videos feel like a commentary on commentary itself

  • @superiorozzy184
    @superiorozzy184 Před rokem +36

    I had a problem with a wizard before. I said a joke to a wizard that went like this: "Hail, summoner. Conjure me up a warm bed, would you?" And they took such great offense to it that they almost put a ten thousand-year-long curse upon me and my bloodline but then the wizard police got involved and things escalated

  • @justsomejerseydevilwithint4606

    If the wizard's third spell is "Charm", they aren't trying to be a wizard, they're trying to be a stereotypical bard.

    • @yuvalgabay1023
      @yuvalgabay1023 Před 2 lety +33

      Remember that charm has been outlawd because it's basically roopees

    • @justsomejerseydevilwithint4606
      @justsomejerseydevilwithint4606 Před 2 lety +68

      @@yuvalgabay1023 Roofee*, but It's actually even more immoral. By manipulating how a person thinks of the caster, wizards can make you think basically anything short of direct harm. I had a guy try to convince me to do jury duty for him. I only know that's what He was trying to do because he told me after he caught his breath from the 12 guage sandbag round that I sent nearly through his ribs within 2 seconds of me hearing a magic word. God bless Texas, don't leave the house without personal a defense weapon if you've seen a wizard in the past 24 hours.

    • @Nesto_
      @Nesto_ Před rokem +25

      Charms aren’t even the scariest thing they can do, it’s just common due to accessibility. My grandpa told the story of how a wizard altered his memory and made him think he was a bang robber, all to create a distraction so the wizard could actually rob a bank.

    • @mailcs06
      @mailcs06 Před 9 měsíci +5

      I'm a wizard but I never use mental manipulation spells because they're immoral and IMO cowardly.

    • @Merrsharr
      @Merrsharr Před 6 měsíci +4

      I'm not sure if I should be more offended for my wizard or my bard, neither of which actually know the Charm spell

  • @confusioned2249
    @confusioned2249 Před 2 lety +1919

    "So i'm going to try my best, not to be too judgmental."
    Literally the next sentence:
    "All wizards are perverts."

    • @Wonders_of_Reality
      @Wonders_of_Reality Před rokem +52

      It’s so nice to see some honesty in this sea of hypocritical political correctness!

    • @betin731
      @betin731 Před rokem +78

      yeah that was the joke

    • @MouseGoat
      @MouseGoat Před rokem +6

      well as a wizards i just want to say...
      He completely right... :V why else did you think i was pondering my orb for.

    • @chavaspada
      @chavaspada Před rokem +7

      Wizards are basically discord mods 🤮

    • @UncIe-Ben
      @UncIe-Ben Před rokem +3

      As a local wizard I would like to say not all of us are old crusty perverts that bring the end of days upon us. Why don't you do your research before you say such outlandish things about our magic.

  • @yourconscious
    @yourconscious Před 8 měsíci +30

    As an artificer, this is what I'm always saying. Do you know how many times I've had to had to enchant anti-magic software into a wizard's computer because they cast fireball on it in rage? I just want to go back to forging gunswords and cannonshield.

  • @JettKuso
    @JettKuso Před rokem +10

    If you hate wizards so much why are you so obsessed with our orbs?

  • @kekero540
    @kekero540 Před 2 lety +384

    I hate it when the local wizard makes a new chimera that quickly becomes an invasive species in the local area.
    Like “ok yeah the manticore is cool and all but can my children please play outside without being picked up by a 300lb lion with wing please?”

    • @jamaljenkins3383
      @jamaljenkins3383 Před rokem +27

      Not all manticores are bad it’s the owner that makes them bad not the manticore

    • @nobodynowhere000
      @nobodynowhere000 Před rokem +10

      @@jamaljenkins3383 Yeah, totally. So many people abandon manticores after they grow up because they get so big. The stray manticore population has skyrocketed in my city! If you’re going to get a pet, make sure you’re able to take care of it properly ffs

  • @baacloud
    @baacloud Před 2 lety +2725

    Hey, great video and everything, but this topic can get a bit extreme with the "all wizards are bad," personally. I got called a Magic Sympathizer on the street yesterday for simply saying that the worldwide dark rituals might not be _that_ bad on the ecological footprint. You just cannot have normal discussions nowadays

    • @Abananapie
      @Abananapie Před 2 lety +225

      Worldwide dark rituals are the cause of 70% of all carbon emissions keep denying the facts Magic sympathiser 🙄

    • @succo928
      @succo928 Před 2 lety +156

      They literally summon fire out of nothing of course THEY are the cause of the global warming

    • @flidethechemist
      @flidethechemist Před 2 lety +52

      @@succo928 I personally think that both no - maj people and magic - wielders caused global warming.

    • @figo3554
      @figo3554 Před 2 lety +100

      Idk man, I don't see petroleum turning the sky RED

    • @ZelphTheWebmancer
      @ZelphTheWebmancer Před 2 lety +150

      @@Abananapie This again. Correlation is not causation. Just because you put to graphs on top of each other doesn't mean the dark rituals are the ones causing 70% of the carbon emissions. Seriously, is 2021, almost 2022, and people are still saying this misinformed stuff.

  • @greedynap
    @greedynap Před rokem +14

    My parents wanted me to have a wizard tutor and paid him so much gold to teach me the arcane arts but he did nothing except give me an orb to "watch how it's done"

  • @noxeus1871
    @noxeus1871 Před rokem +17

    >doesn't embrace the arcane
    >thinks magic is a waste of time
    >clearly isn't enthralled by the mystic majesty of thaumaturgic studies
    >doesn't even know how to cast a mere light spell even by using a glyph
    >Uses a slate of knowledge everyday only to look at sword sharpening visions but faints in the mere presence of a scrying orb
    "Yeah guys magic and wizards are useless and shouldn't be trusted. Be a meathead instead."

  • @VladLongPlus
    @VladLongPlus Před 2 lety +1210

    The class jealously in this video is so thick you couldn't cut it even with a vorpal sword. Listen fighter, it is not wizard's fault that when given a choice between "hit things with metal stick" and "alter reality to your whims" you made the stupid choice and went for stick.

    • @iamtrash288
      @iamtrash288 Před 2 lety +239

      Well, to be honest, not everybody gets to get that choice. Wizardry is expensive and the major ivory tower associations have been bribing and lobbying their way into raising the entering barriers for the new enterprising covens. Statistical research shows that every successful wizard under the age of 300 has some kind of noble pedigree and for a commoner to become a wizard... That would take a miracle nowadays. Magical autocracy just doesn't work.

    • @tallymanz6756
      @tallymanz6756 Před 2 lety +138

      While you were arguing me and the rogues guild boys already took both your wallets.

    • @FaeriePrince
      @FaeriePrince Před 2 lety +61

      @@iamtrash288 I may only be a younger wizard at 3000 years old, but I agree that the quality of green-staffed wizards have really gone downhill. Those newbies are so pompous now adays. Although my perspective may not be the best since wizard is only my secondary class, with sorcery being my main, and cleric being my tertiary.

    • @fjolliff6308
      @fjolliff6308 Před 2 lety +9

      Oof! Bet he wants to jump through a few portals now!

    • @VladLongPlus
      @VladLongPlus Před 2 lety +47

      @@iamtrash288 If I could take a half million gold crown loan to pay for wizard school so can you. Besides which public wizard schools are not that bad. Clortho for example is a fine institute for those of more modest means. only 20% demon baby rate is nothing to cry about. Sure I might have to slave away for the nobility for the next 1000 years to pay off my wizard student loans but that does not mean the system is broken.

  • @shazani18
    @shazani18 Před 2 lety +565

    I'm watching this thinking about the only wizard I've ever known well and it's hilarious

  • @FestusOmega
    @FestusOmega Před 10 měsíci +15

    Physicians will see you cast a spell of healing and say, "He hath not an MD."

  • @Mordecrox
    @Mordecrox Před rokem +29

    Ah yes I remember being fascinated with how conjure food worked, how they always summon varied cooked goods, how they magically prepare these meals?
    Then I'm told it's just teleported from someone's plate when they aren't looking.
    Cook like you were cooking for a wizard. They hate spices.

    • @nuclearwinter5748
      @nuclearwinter5748 Před 10 měsíci +4

      so that's where my dinner went

    • @mailcs06
      @mailcs06 Před 9 měsíci +4

      Ah that's the 1st level spell Conjure Meal. The 3rd level spell Create Meal actually creates one from scratch.

  • @TuckyBlue
    @TuckyBlue Před 2 lety +494

    What are your thoughts on sorcerers? They have the benefit of being born with innate magical prowess, so that deals with age, and that frees them up to train other skills.

    • @creditsunknown7974
      @creditsunknown7974 Před 2 lety +109

      They are too egostetical, like "Hey check me out im young, hot and sexy!" LIKE SHUT UP VEROSLIKAJON WE ARE IN A GODDAM CIRCLE OF HELL THIS IS NOT THE TIME.

    • @jetex1911
      @jetex1911 Před 2 lety +97

      They're literally the next step up from being born rich, and the ones I've seen always seem to flaunt it. "Oh look at me my father was a dragon I'm so awesome" Yeah sure cool dude, I had to *work* for my knight's training.

    • @iamtrash288
      @iamtrash288 Před 2 lety +11

      Eh, you really sympathise with those trust-fund (you know, the funds where you score your credit trust on Demon deals) babies?

    • @FaeriePrince
      @FaeriePrince Před 2 lety +34

      @@jetex1911 Sorcerers may be born with magic power, but they still have to train their magic to become more powerful, especially sorcerers from a lesser magic lineage like myself. I have worked hard to get my fifteen levels in sorcery, not to mention my twelve levels in wizardry, and my seven clerical levels.

    • @andrewgreeb916
      @andrewgreeb916 Před 2 lety +13

      The issue is those wankers seem to waste time with feelings and self exploration and somehow take just as long to achieve skill at magic.
      Sure they have more magic, but their shorter spell lists are pretty clearly a drawback

  • @enthurian100
    @enthurian100 Před 2 lety +2332

    Alright Matt, I'm going to have to do a thorough break down of this video.
    Before I even talk about your "Top 5 Reasons Why All Wizards Are Terrible", I want to talk about the the first three things you say about wizards. First you say they're weak (physically), Anti-social, and that they think riddles are funny. Firstly, it is a common misconception that wizards are weak, many wizards maintain the physical wellness of your average person, this isn't to say they're fit, but they about as fit as anyone else. Second, wizards are not anymore anti-social that your average person either, some are often more social due to the more diplomatic portion of their jobs (though this varies from field to field). Third, not all wizards laugh at riddles, it's just when they do that people make a big deal about it (and those that due are in the far minority). Alright, now time to address your "Top 5 Reasons Why All Wizards Are Terrible."
    Your number 5 reason was stated as "All Wizards Are Perverts", though you seem to extend this into your hatred for all-seeing orbs. First off I want to say 2 things, 1: Some wizards are perverts, but so are a lot for normal people, being a wizard doesn't automatically make you a pervert as much as anyone else, 2: Just because someone was using an all-seeing orb in the bathroom doesn't mean they were spying on someone, and if they were why would they do it in the bathroom when they could do it anywhere. As for the rest of your issues with all-seeing orbs, that's more down to particular wizards being assholes, which is to be expected with any person.
    Your number 4 reason was stated as "It Takes Your Entire Life To Be Good At Magic". This is completely untrue, becoming a wizards takes no longer than any other higher education job. The only reason this became a stereotype in the first place was due to extremely powerful famous wizards, and the fact that education in that past was very bad and so it would take a lot longer to become skilled in magic. You also go on to comment about the way wizards look, which is mostly false as well, sure some wizards look this way, if they're homeless, but most professional wizards are just as well dressed as anyone else.
    Your number 3 reason was stated as "Magic Is A Waste Of Everyone's Time". This point honestly baffles me. You first comment on how inept they are in combat (obviously neglecting to mention battle-mages, but this is about wizards, so I won't get into that.). Only an unskilled untrained wizards is going to fumble over their decisions, and staying in the back is honestly the best place for them, as they're most likely to act as a support. Now you try to tell me that magic shields are worthless against guns, which is completely false, in fact, blocking against projectiles is one of the easier things for magic to do. However, this goes without mentioning any of the other supporting magic a wizard can use, such a swifting spells, and buff/debuff spells. Even then however, this still doesn't mention that they can throw fireballs and shoot lightning (if they're trained at least).
    Your number 2 reason was stated as "Technology Beats Magic Every Time." This reason is honestly the most justifiable. Modern technology has come a long to match magics power. This does have some key problems though. You mention portals, which are of course a bit dangerous, they are however, not the only way to travel with magic, and whilst dangerous to living things they have little danger to materials, making it greats for transferring supplies and cargo. Magic can also do anything technology can but a little better, such as instant communication (might be useful when trying to talk to someone on mars or further with no lightspeed time delay), weather manipulation, and they can even make better computers (though there hasn't been as much development in that field until normal computers were invented).
    Your number 1, and last, reason was stated as "The World Is Ending". First thing I'd like to say is, there is nothing inherently wrong with necromancy, but not for the same reasons as stated by you. Before I states my reason though, I'd like to clear something up: Necromancy is magic that allows it's users to manipulate life force. This means you can make the undead and use blood sacrifice to power magic, which is often not allowed among professional wizards, but these wizards still use necromancy, how though? Simple, necromancy can also heal wounds and even bring people back to life (with their full cognitive ability), this often falls under the radar due to holy magics, but they are still just as much a part of necromancy as creating undead. This misconception about necromancy has honestly become so prevalent that it's a nuisance, when casting magic and people start claiming your a cleric cause you healed someone's scraped knee. Also, the red sky was sorcerer, stop blaming their wild-magic missteps on us. The rituals are also not supported by any wizarding groups (that are legal).
    Honestly Matt, this video really hurt from you, I've watched you for a while now, and to see you make such a blatant promotion of fighters while knocking down wizards (who already get a bad rap as it is) is sad. I hope your new sponsors are nice to you, but The Wizards Guild gives it's final regards. -Enthurian, Spokesperson on the behalf of The Wizards Guild.

    • @AWESOMO5
      @AWESOMO5 Před 2 lety +89

      Nigga i aint reading all that shit

    • @enthurian100
      @enthurian100 Před 2 lety +372

      @@AWESOMO5 Okay. Then why'd you comment?

    • @cheesecake001
      @cheesecake001 Před 2 lety +432

      Why isn't this the top comment instead of all those jokes and people spreading misinformation?

    • @enthurian100
      @enthurian100 Před 2 lety +337

      @@cheesecake001 Some people just don't want to face the truth.

    • @dopaminecloud
      @dopaminecloud Před 2 lety +275

      thanks for the speaking out for the little magic man
      i've faced a lot of discrimination because of a few insane necromancers yelling about taking over the world

  • @Iwastheman
    @Iwastheman Před rokem +27

    I knew this kid at school who always said he was a wizard, and for some reason no one else asked for proof. So one day he got in a fight with an actual wizard kid. The kid knew a few spells but they were all pretty useless except for the electric one (he used it to hijack vending machines). Anyways, the kid who said he was a wizard tried to punch the wizard kid, but he electrocuted him. The next day, he was suspended.

  • @BugDrawer
    @BugDrawer Před rokem +14

    Thank god someone finally addressed this. I once stepped on some old guy's robe and the guy turned around and turned me purple.

  • @air7285
    @air7285 Před 2 lety +441

    Oh great this is just what I needed for my “Why Wizards Are Ruining the Ecosystem” essay, thanks a lot for covering this topic

    • @calebdahlheimer1471
      @calebdahlheimer1471 Před 2 lety +6

      Careful Hitler, your bias is showing.

    • @FaeriePrince
      @FaeriePrince Před 2 lety +3

      I have input that I'd reccomend for your counterperspective that ypu'll need to put in: wizards study long and hard to learn about their magic. This includes the impact that their magic has in the environment. Not to mention that necromancers are more akin to warlocks than the larger sum of wizards.

    • @FerretyZebra
      @FerretyZebra Před 2 lety +2

      @@FaeriePrince necromancy≠warlock

    • @ligma6992
      @ligma6992 Před rokem

      ​@@FaeriePrince found the necromancy sympathizer

  • @paro6735
    @paro6735 Před 2 lety +31

    apologize to wizards right now my grandpa is a wizard and hes cursing you

  • @averagecringefan2964
    @averagecringefan2964 Před rokem +102

    As a wizard I can confirm that we are creepy douches with low moral standards but that doesn’t mean all of us are out of shape and magical barriers normally stop bullets anyway + you don’t see fighters just turn into dragons on their own now do you?

    • @gustavovargas8716
      @gustavovargas8716 Před rokem +15

      My friend's father is a dragon, and he sometimes drops the sword and go 1v1 in dragon form
      Not gonna lie dragon form is dope...

    • @Bruhtatochip742
      @Bruhtatochip742 Před rokem +7

      Yeah that'll show those melee users 🤓

  • @proto_maver1ck
    @proto_maver1ck Před rokem +12

    As a young Wizard, I am personally offended. Especially as one who specializes in supportive healing magics.

  • @maglev957
    @maglev957 Před 2 lety +243

    This is on TierZoo levels of interesting concepts nobody has done before and I'm all for more of things like this

  • @ChloroDude
    @ChloroDude Před 2 lety +82

    One time, a wizard came by and started ripping off my doorframe, then stole my wife's wedding ring and told me he was "making a staff", and he also had a black cat following him that started growing rapidly and had teeth covered in blood.

  • @asshat8892
    @asshat8892 Před rokem +40

    I don’t know man, I’ve lived in Britain my whole life and every student wizard and mage I’ve met has always been pretty chill compared to what you’ve described.
    I think it might be more of a cultural thing. With the majority of my country’s population are wizards, there’s little to no reason for them to hide away in the towers and self study as you can turn the corner and there’s an entrance to Myrddin Wyttl high school or one of the two magical colleges in the world. (I forget names not gonna look up) so every magical student is getting plenty of social interaction and human contact.
    Though I haven’t ever met a wizard from outside of Britain I do know that the rest of Europe has as much history of discrimination and hunting the Magical community as it does with making them kingdom advisors and what not. the infamous Salem witch trials pale in comparison. (mostly because it turned out that it was only 1 real witch and a bunch of edgy teens. but I digress)
    Anyways, tldr I don’t think you know enough about what your talking about but I could be entirely wrong. The Magical folk I’ve met and learned from are nothing like how you described could be cultural thing, I don’t know.

    • @silver-ep8wn
      @silver-ep8wn Před 10 měsíci +7

      no fr as a wizard from the middle east i feel like he just doesn't really get it

    • @aykarain
      @aykarain Před 8 měsíci +1

      yeah...

  • @MidnightDrake
    @MidnightDrake Před rokem +6

    Can we talk about how downright scary clerics can be?? Met one the other day, he almost called down the slap of god on a thief. Crazy, man..

  • @dr.gaming4860
    @dr.gaming4860 Před 2 lety +94

    3:27 You see, I think this fellow here is actually a warlock, which are similar to wizards, but their powers are more derived from the Dark Gods generally. Slight difference, but still noteworthy.

    • @potatoboooi5168
      @potatoboooi5168 Před rokem +2

      Yeah! Know the difference! I can’t believe these people judging magic users when they can’t even tell us apart!

  • @T1mo777
    @T1mo777 Před 2 lety +23

    2:08 *It's not the middle ages anymore and Goblins Have GUNS"
    Omg I can't 😭

  • @vrygon0
    @vrygon0 Před rokem +9

    Let's not even start with sorcerer's and druids

  • @berhonkusbardledoo
    @berhonkusbardledoo Před rokem +6

    This video was not sponsored by the Shadow Government.
    Hopefully he doesn’t get canceled by the Shadow Wizard Money Gang.

  • @Total_DuDe
    @Total_DuDe Před 2 lety +421

    It's been 13 years, and they still don't know that I secretly replaced their cat.
    P.S. Nice to see Mattias moving to more positive stuff. c:

  • @Blue-fg8vt
    @Blue-fg8vt Před 2 lety +141

    Man the wizard hate is high in this one. Ingoreing that spells improve each generation thus barriers are still effective when cast by a compitant wizard, and one can heal wounds with healing spells or brew potions too cure illness or help change ones body in ways surgery can't, they can streagthen their ally's or summon elementals. Magic is such a broad thing that most have too pick a certain catagory too be good, like doctors or teachers or any other catagory. I reccomend you take more note of the younger looking wizards, as many are much older than they apper, but have managed too reduce their age useing magic. It takes both an enchanter and a smith too make a sheild that can block both swords and magic effectively.

    • @randomusername1735
      @randomusername1735 Před 2 lety +37

      This video conveniently ignores the fact that bullet resistant magic has been a thing for over a decade now! #stopwizardhate

    • @dubiousinformation1756
      @dubiousinformation1756 Před 2 lety +14

      Just gonna add in that wizards don't in fact get healing spells.
      Sorcerer's can get healing spells (depending on the version of sorcerer).
      Warlocks can also gain access to healing spells (depending on the pact).
      Druids and clerics always have access to healing spells if they want them.
      But not wizards.
      And that's because wizards can do anything except be useful.
      Unlike Chad clerics.

    • @RatOfTheWoods
      @RatOfTheWoods Před 2 lety +18

      @@dubiousinformation1756 bold words for someone in fireball range (I am in your walls)

    • @tonyhakston536
      @tonyhakston536 Před 2 lety +18

      @@dubiousinformation1756 There once was a cleric as smug as can be
      He thought himself Chadly with utility
      But he had no powers to call as his own
      All of them borrowed from heaven’s high throne
      Not bad in itself, Paladins can attest
      But fighting with biting smites they do it best
      Still better than them are the Casters of Heart~
      Nothing else holds a candle to a Bard!

    • @christiankapoian3845
      @christiankapoian3845 Před rokem +1

      @@dubiousinformation1756 wizards get wither and bloom which allows you to deal damage while also healing yourself or any of your allies

  • @Negi1001
    @Negi1001 Před rokem +15

    We need more people running around being wizards. Like a furry, but a wizard.

  • @MicronOnline
    @MicronOnline Před rokem +3

    The Shadow wizards do not associate with these types of Wizards who show their face

  • @natxon
    @natxon Před 2 lety +144

    I have wizard friends, they keep learning about things they love and that's what matters 💞
    also their skills are kinda useful sometimes if things don't go wrong

    • @slay-thoven1357
      @slay-thoven1357 Před 2 lety +16

      don't try to hide it, you're a wizard yourself just posting about "wizard friends" to avoid critique
      that said, you're right,

    • @Jugem16
      @Jugem16 Před 2 lety +23

      Found the magic sympathiser. 🙄

    • @glumbortango7182
      @glumbortango7182 Před 2 lety +4

      "Kind of if it doesn't go wrong" is fairly damning when you're talking about magic, all things considered

    • @alternateending4841
      @alternateending4841 Před 2 lety +4

      Just because you have wizard friends doesn’t mean you can speak on the subject.

  • @starflarethewizard1490
    @starflarethewizard1490 Před 2 lety +59

    “It takes your entire life to be remotely good at magic”
    Anime and JRPGs: Allow us to introduce ourselves

    • @Nesto_
      @Nesto_ Před rokem +1

      Those characters may look like children but most of them have been around since BCE.

  • @nonya1366
    @nonya1366 Před rokem +9

    As a person who sells firearms to goblins, I can confirm that they are fully armed.

    • @nuclearwinter5748
      @nuclearwinter5748 Před 10 měsíci +2

      shhhh, you aren't supposed to talk about the illegal goblin arm trade in public you want the guards to arrest us?

    • @nonya1366
      @nonya1366 Před 10 měsíci +2

      @@nuclearwinter5748 The world is ending, we'll be fine.

  • @TK0921
    @TK0921 Před rokem +5

    As a goblin wizard I can confirm all of these are true. Especially the part about goblins having guns.

  • @empoleonmaster6709
    @empoleonmaster6709 Před 2 lety +602

    As someone that plays Artificer 1/Wizards in D&D this is anti-magic propaganda and I won't stand for it! Also I'm MUCH harder to hit and have 14 con.

    • @rianantony
      @rianantony Před 2 lety +12

      The guy thinks my Cleric1/Wizard... abjurer with false life isn't a heavy armor master who punches bad guys directly on the face with shocking grasp ands that's just not true

    • @empoleonmaster6709
      @empoleonmaster6709 Před 2 lety +9

      @@rianantony I don't need anything more than high int for all my spells though. 14 dex and 14 con + War Caster from Custom Lineage let's me focus on int and them a bunch of feats for every level while maintaining full spell slot progression because Artificer has multi-class levels involving it rounded up, not down.

    • @bigendaliver
      @bigendaliver Před 2 lety +4

      what about Magi? i'm a Magus myself, my pa was a wizard and my other pa a fighter. so... you can guess how that goes.
      i consider myself in the wizard spectrum, or at least a wizard ally. can't cast spells as well as the rest of y'all but mad respects still.
      ...just remember that we frontline brawlers will bring it to court if you hit us 'accidentally'. #fighterlivesmatter

    • @empoleonmaster6709
      @empoleonmaster6709 Před 2 lety +7

      @@bigendaliver Fighter lives do matter, that's why I'm an evocation wizard, that and it reduces lawsuits involving damage to personal property.

    • @thatrandomcrit5823
      @thatrandomcrit5823 Před 2 lety +2

      I'm jealous, I'd like to be able to play DnD too!

  • @Saltier
    @Saltier Před 2 lety +23

    As a cleric, necromancy isn't just raising the dead it's also keeping the living alive. Healing word and lesser restoration are necromantic spells.

  • @SonOfMeme
    @SonOfMeme Před rokem +3

    They also keep setting my path ablaze

  • @shiny_baxcalibur
    @shiny_baxcalibur Před rokem +7

    3:49 IM SORRY IM SORRY I DIDNT WANT TO DO IT THEY FORCED ME TOOOOOOOOOOOO

  • @dana_____
    @dana_____ Před 2 lety +150

    Yeah and the amount of animal body parts sold to wizards for spells is unbelievable, in addition to increasing animal suffering, it's inflated animal product prices like crazy. Not everyone has a wizard's salary to pay for food.

    • @deadlydingus1138
      @deadlydingus1138 Před 2 lety +11

      Not to mention, animals are going extinct even today just because some dumbass thinks that the toenails of a maned wolf or some shit will fix their divorce.

    • @andrewgreeb916
      @andrewgreeb916 Před 2 lety +3

      Not to mention those cave wizards are spreading diseases and other stuff cause they feel the need to collect bat guano and other crap for spells.

    • @FerretyZebra
      @FerretyZebra Před 2 lety +7

      There a non meat options for nutrition

    • @Sharkakaka
      @Sharkakaka Před 2 lety +6

      Have you seen the entry level wizard salaries recently? That's barely minimum wage.

    • @funguy398
      @funguy398 Před rokem

      Not get me started at those who started to grow chimeras which have abnormal amount of organs just to sell it.
      1. Its dangerous
      2. Its cruel
      3. The quality of potions droped
      4. The local witches can't compete and closes

  • @screamingmurkrow1720
    @screamingmurkrow1720 Před 2 lety +278

    I feel like this is a metaphor for people stereotyping other’s kind of people and calling them all bad. Or maybe I’m looking way into this

    • @calebhessing7593
      @calebhessing7593 Před 2 lety +65

      Nah man you're looking way into this, it's just about why all wizards suck

    • @rikospostmodernlife
      @rikospostmodernlife Před 2 lety +43

      No, you're right, and this dude is also overgeneralizing, mixing up wizards and warlocks smh

    • @PlushieBrigade
      @PlushieBrigade Před 2 lety +8

      SMH our kids are being raised on this propaganda?

    • @NeostormXLMAX
      @NeostormXLMAX Před 2 lety

      @@PlushieBrigade Basicly a massage about youtube propaganda

    • @eckspearaviit3129
      @eckspearaviit3129 Před 2 lety

      Feels more like a cryptobro joke with the portal segment

  • @GraveUypo
    @GraveUypo Před rokem +3

    One time i paired with a wizard to do a quest that involved defeating highly agile skeletal warriors. They were super hard to hit as their speed was inhuman and they were numerous. The wizard, trying to be helpful, figured he would solve this issue with it with a massive quagmire spell. Sure, the skeletons slowed right now. But so did I, and so did he. In fact, he was drowning in his own stupid spell and i had to scramble to rescue him while running away in slow motion from sluggish skeletons in a bog. My peers mock me for it to this day. I'll never live that one down. It wasn't even my fault, damnit!

  • @pieoflords5082
    @pieoflords5082 Před rokem +8

    I agree that wizards are bad, but the use of magic isn't too terrible. My dad inherited a bit of talent from my grandma, U'dona the Crimson, and it helped him out a lot on clearing out some of the zombie pits those necromancers has been putting out as pranks. Now I personally don't know all that magic, all I really know is how to warm up my hands which is really nice in the winter. I do have to concentrate while I do it and it'll burn my gloves if i'm not careful, but still pretty cool. I've been talking to this eldritch being and he's been saying I should work with him to get some better magic, but I'm not really ready for that kind of commitment, y'know? Like I dont have anything wrong with incomprehensible horrors from another dimension but do I really know him as a person? What if I join him and he turns out to be the one turning the sky red? I don't wanna work with someone who's out here graffitiing the sky, that's a pretty irresponsible thing to do. Maybe I should just play the bass like grandpa

  • @amergingiles
    @amergingiles Před 2 lety +62

    As a wizard I agree entirely.

  • @Ani
    @Ani Před 2 lety +227

    So fuckin true man. Magicians, as well. Hate 'em. Cannot imagine what it takes for someone to become one of those.

    • @creditsunknown7974
      @creditsunknown7974 Před 2 lety +20

      DO NOT INSULT MAGICIANS ID YOU DONT WANT TO GET *pigeoned*

    • @creditsunknown7974
      @creditsunknown7974 Před 2 lety +6

      @Soldier [TF2] Hey atleast you werent *_pigeoned_*

    • @junconglin
      @junconglin Před 2 lety

      @Soldier [TF2] you ate all his die and come back stronger pills

    • @andrewgreeb916
      @andrewgreeb916 Před 2 lety +5

      Magicians are like wizards, but they get the short end of the stick for using illusions

    • @cockroachteeth
      @cockroachteeth Před 2 lety +1

      Okay I get what you're saying but magicians are no where near as bad as wizards. I've never met a good wizard I have met like 1 cool magician

  • @Terrahex1
    @Terrahex1 Před 5 měsíci +2

    I absolutely love how you put the "I respect everyone" line before the "All Wizards are perverts" line.

  • @tashunagray7720
    @tashunagray7720 Před 5 měsíci +2

    3:14 personally, I feel like if we were to have contracts for people to be turned into skeletons after death, there would be less problems

  • @ezurth
    @ezurth Před 2 lety +92

    hear me out hear me out, a wizard that has a love for magic and repairing cars and infrastructure. that's the mechanic i would want

    • @saqvobase4301
      @saqvobase4301 Před 2 lety +9

      Magical mechanic would be cool

    • @angieulaka
      @angieulaka Před 2 lety +16

      oh yeah! it might take a little longer to get repairs done, and it is slightly disconcerting how my truck slowly drains the lifeforce of the grass to sustain the ghost of a victorian pit pony, But I've yet to find a 10mm socket the hard way.

    • @andrewgreeb916
      @andrewgreeb916 Před 2 lety +4

      The problem is the wizards and engineers who do collaborations always seem to create something dangerous or unstable over something practical.

    • @FerretyZebra
      @FerretyZebra Před 2 lety +1

      @@andrewgreeb916 thats not true only 1/3 of all Wizard and engineer creations try to take over the world

    • @bobthebob6444
      @bobthebob6444 Před 2 lety +3

      I think you are looking for an artificer?

  • @uberhenrik3128
    @uberhenrik3128 Před 2 lety +108

    Wow, this video made me felt like this guy is really living in a dimension where wizards are really useless
    Thankfully, where I live wizards are functional members of society!

    • @valletas
      @valletas Před rokem +7

      The one i live wizards are incels...

    • @pedrohenriquedecarvalhogon1453
      @pedrohenriquedecarvalhogon1453 Před rokem +2

      In here wizards just turn everything in sheeps for some reason

    • @featherlikescartoons5098
      @featherlikescartoons5098 Před rokem +10

      Where I live we don't have Wizards, but we do have Time-travelers infestations, which is arguably worse
      a week ago I was just drinking my goddamn coffee when a bunch of time tourists popped outside my window and took pictures of me. The tour guide was saying something like, "witness the lifestyle of our 21st century ancestors" or some crap. And they keep ajusting the course of history once ever three hours

  • @thecheesen
    @thecheesen Před rokem +3

    Reminds me of the time that one wizard at a party i was in just randomly started ranting about Dragons. Naturally there weren't any at the party (wizards are so cowardly, smh) but my kobold friend was _pissed._ Hasn't come back from the stellar dimension yet.

  • @johncarnett2668
    @johncarnett2668 Před rokem +8

    2:59
    Look at the top right x-ray photograph. Those are boobs.
    There are no lumps on that wizards chest.
    What dark sorcery is this?!
    Probably forging medical documents, but...
    Black magic, maybe?

  • @realkingofantarctica
    @realkingofantarctica Před 2 lety +240

    If I could pick between having magic and having a gun, I would pick the gun so I could smelt it down and have a knife instead.

    • @henryfleischer404
      @henryfleischer404 Před 2 lety +30

      But with magic you can cut a steak, open a box, or knock somebody out. Can you do that with a knife?

    • @SrangePerson_
      @SrangePerson_ Před 2 lety +22

      @@henryfleischer404 Yes

    • @TheKeyboardCowboy
      @TheKeyboardCowboy Před 2 lety +8

      Why melt it into a knife, when you could have a hammer instead?

    • @personperson8712
      @personperson8712 Před 2 lety +5

      @@TheKeyboardCowboy why choose a gun when you can use forbidden deadly spells?

    • @Ani-yt4nf
      @Ani-yt4nf Před 2 lety +7

      Nonononono, RAW STEEL is what you want to get, not a knife. Gotta have those metals for minerals to consume. Yummy

  • @krieg1583
    @krieg1583 Před 2 lety +34

    Two more years and i will turn into a wizard, hope my future isn't so magical

  • @THISisdefinetlylame
    @THISisdefinetlylame Před rokem +2

    And he didn't even mentioned some more problems with space magic, one day you are living your life, and suddenly you are fighting against all nine circles of hell because of a wrong portal cast

  • @pepsiatlas5452
    @pepsiatlas5452 Před 5 měsíci +2

    The concept of wizards has been completely overwritten in my brain with them being absolute hooligans that wreck arbys'

  • @tally9542
    @tally9542 Před 2 lety +48

    FINALLY someone is saying something. My father works as the town fire-fighter and the ammount of magical fires he's had to put out from old men wizards going crazy is absurd. #BeNormalNotMagical

    • @valletas
      @valletas Před rokem +7

      Are you sure these arent the work of fairies? One time i saw them burning down my house while recording me and my wife crying as a "prank" for clout

    • @TheNinja94a
      @TheNinja94a Před rokem +2

      @@valletas YOU BURNED MY HOUSE TO THE GROUND

    • @willam1992
      @willam1992 Před rokem +1

      The randomly exploding towers are also an issue. I miss my glass windows :(

    • @olasdorosdiliusimilius2174
      @olasdorosdiliusimilius2174 Před 11 měsíci

      ​@@valletas Aren't fairies the ones who steal children? What do they do with them? Probably a bunch of pedophiles or something.

    • @mailcs06
      @mailcs06 Před 9 měsíci +1

      Sorry, I was born with Excessive Unstable Magic Syndrome so I literally can't be normal or I'll explode :(

  • @EvetheFurry
    @EvetheFurry Před 2 lety +11

    0:42
    “2 years, 17 days”
    “What?”
    “From a stroke. GOOD DAY!” *runs in the other direction*

  • @user-cy5ou5jy7k
    @user-cy5ou5jy7k Před 5 měsíci +2

    2:17 ok hear me out, what if we make magic and technology work together?? bullets that magically pierce through all objects, bullet proof vests that make you go invisible, metal arms and such that are animated by magic to be limbs for people who don't have any, flying cars, probably more idk

  • @Tripwick
    @Tripwick Před 5 měsíci +2

    Ok, but don't come crawling to my tower when you go down and need a cure wounds at 4th level.

    • @ChristmasPterodactyl
      @ChristmasPterodactyl Před 4 měsíci

      He can just put a bandage on the wounds and let them heal up overnight. Magic is worthless.

  • @jayjo4485
    @jayjo4485 Před 2 lety +61

    0:18 - "not generalize based on stereotypes, so I'm going to try my best not to be judgmental"
    "Number 5. All Wizards are perverts"

  • @silent0089
    @silent0089 Před 2 lety +238

    Mattias: let's not be too judgemental
    also Mattias: *_WIZARDS ARE PERVERTS_*

    • @TheCat_3
      @TheCat_3 Před rokem +6

      He's not judging, it's just a fact

  • @duncanmarshall4793
    @duncanmarshall4793 Před 5 měsíci +2

    that image of a goblin holding a glock put the fear of god in me

  • @redbuck1385
    @redbuck1385 Před 5 měsíci +1

    Knights will see you teleport and say "he cannot afford a steed."

  • @OtherMomo
    @OtherMomo Před 2 lety +63

    Counterpoint: magehand. I believe I can learn enough wizardry to aquire this spell, and then go on to do other things, but with a magical third hand with a range further than my armspan and a strength at least slightly more so than my own physical amount.

    • @eainjones9509
      @eainjones9509 Před 2 lety +11

      >mage hand
      >slightly more than my own physical [strength]
      Maybe you should just go full wizard and get telekinesis. Better yet go to a gym and befriend a Barbarian or Paladin they'll help.

    • @OtherMomo
      @OtherMomo Před 2 lety +5

      @@eainjones9509 maybe even considering the use.of magehand is too much of a slippery slope

    • @andrewgreeb916
      @andrewgreeb916 Před 2 lety +1

      Oh sure, cause you wanted to remind the world about phantom groping.
      Great spell, great for lazily grabbing stuff you can't reach or don't want to touch, but you get a real stink eye casting that in public

    • @fattytan1377
      @fattytan1377 Před 2 lety

      @@andrewgreeb916 "yo can you get that can for me?"
      "Thanks"

    • @usernametaken017
      @usernametaken017 Před 5 měsíci

      Lazy wizards don't even want to use THEIR OWN HANDS anymore

  • @terrafletcher1930
    @terrafletcher1930 Před 2 lety +198

    It just felt so honest until he started promoting the fighters guild even though I didn't agree or have any idea how or why the other issues would ever be thought of! I guess I'm susceptible to propaganda 😕

    • @dogsdestroytheworld
      @dogsdestroytheworld Před 2 lety +18

      YOU ARE NOT IMMUNE TO PROPAGANDA.

    • @jtyranus
      @jtyranus Před 2 lety +9

      @@dogsdestroytheworld But I am wearing my periapt of proof against propaganda. . . that I bought from a wizard.

  • @emanuelstornello8009
    @emanuelstornello8009 Před rokem +2

    I never heard something as goofy as "magically conjured chicken nuggets"

  • @spitfire7170
    @spitfire7170 Před rokem +3

    Being a wizard sounds a lot like being a programmer

  • @ZelphTheWebmancer
    @ZelphTheWebmancer Před 2 lety +17

    As a Warlock of the Dark God Bhaal I can confirm the red sky and the gates of hell opening is the fault of Wizards.

    • @technic1285
      @technic1285 Před rokem +1

      As a battlemage and devout follower of Crüthtar, Summoner of Red Skies, I too blame the wizards.

  • @JokingThief
    @JokingThief Před 2 lety +10

    The subtle lore through this video was fucking tactical dude. Your storytelling is always great, even if it's being animated by no more than stick figures.

  • @thefailus4550
    @thefailus4550 Před 6 měsíci +2

    magically conjured gold is getting out of hand

  • @arrrnora
    @arrrnora Před rokem +1

    Blood-red? With ash falling? And mist coming through at night?
    Oh, joy.