I'm Guilty Of ALMOST Loving My Addict To Death ~ Are You?!
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- čas přidán 27. 08. 2024
- Believe it or not, you CAN love your child to death, especially if he/she is an addict. All it takes is you cushioning their falls, giving them money, being their enabler. I know it's hard not to continue to do the normal parent things, but when it comes to your addict child there has to be firm boundaries and you have to have the ability to say no. Otherwise, you'll find yourself loving them to death.
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Ten Mile TN 37880
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Hi, I'm Missy! I'm a wife, mom and Nanny to my favorite people in the world, and this is our story of how we're raising our 6-year-old grandson on our 2-acre homestead in a tiny blip on the map in East Tennessee. We're homeschooling, gardening, cooking up a storm and canning/freezing everything I can get my hands on to fill my prepper pantries and freezers and bringing y'all with us for the adventure!
Thank y'all for watching and be sure to hit that Subscribe button! We'd love to have you be part of our journey and you don't want to miss out on any of our craziness!
I am so thankful you are educating parents on how foolish they can be and how easily their addict children manipulate them just to get their fix. Giving cash to an addict is like going and buying their drugs for them. Thank God for the meeting and the counselor who spoke TRUTH to you.
You're a great mom. It's the hardest thing in life to tell our children NO! Keep up the good work and thank you for sharing and helping save our children. Even if they are adults.
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This is a powerful video, full of truth and honesty. Me: recent widow of a long time substance user, it took him all the way to an artificial heart and all the things that come along with that. When he became so weak and couldn’t use his hands or sit up, he was shocked . . . He made the decision and is no longer on this earth. I’m 66, and there is a big wonderful world out there. Relief at last. Sounds cold, I’m a warm loving women, dealing with the addiction almost took that away from me. Pray
Bless your heart! I know you went through a lot dealing with that
This is such a powerful video. It needs to be seen by every parent. I too was an enabler. Now I have cut off all communication. And for now, I am safe, with custody of my granddaughter. The abuse has stopped. I am reclaiming my life..I am free. No is a powerful word. I should have used it sooner.
I feel every word you said. I wish I could turn back time and change several things so I could find peace a lot sooner than I did
Took me 20 years to say you have to leave. Your behavior towards us and the kids is horrible. It is not good for us to have to live with the meth fits the hearing and seeing people who are not there. Talking to people who are not there. Threatening to burn the house down with us in it. We put her in for a 72 hr hold for mental health. She was in mental hospital for a month. She lied to the doctor that, she didn't hear the voices anymore. Doctor said this happens with meth use. If. She doesn't stop using meth it can become permanent. I set it up for her to go to rehab 3 hrs from us. She stayed but left. She was suppose to have stayed for a year. Relapsed. I wish I was stronger when she was younger but, I wasn't. I have to put the mental and physical well-being of the kids and ourselves.
I so wish the parents of every addict could hear this message. One of my oldest friends had two children. She lost both due to addiction. She is now having to live with the realization that she loved them to death. It is sad to see how she lives now. She has completely shut down and is pitiful.
Oh bless her heart! That tears me up 😭
It is very hard for most parents to show tough love. Many years of counseling for myself to help me recognize that too much love is not necessarily a good thing. I am doing this because this is how much I love you. Tough Love. Couple this with positivity, solutions, honesty, and it shows support.
Very well said 👏 💜
My grandparents raised me and almost loved me to death too. Being put away where they couldnt help me is the only thing that saved my life! I had to experience helplessness to want to change. I went the opposite with my kids, any trouble they get into, they have to pay the consequences. I can say, they definately didnt go out and do the things I did. My grandmother has obe remaining son in his 70s, she still enabling him. It happens to the very best parents too.
Thank you for today's video. My situation is the same. He isn't addicted to a substance but is extremely mentally ill. We're going through all the same problems and I'm tired of being the enabler.
Hugs, Miss Anne 💜💜
I apologize for my comment. It’s a real sore subject with me. My son tells everyone that’s when his started, but he was well into his alcohol addiction before that. I also have a niece that uses the opiates a dentist gave her. Both are alcoholics not even opiate addicts. I am a physician and I did not over prescribe pain pills. But it does make it difficult to prescribe opiates when needed. I have watched all you you-tube videos. Liked and shared:). I really had not heard that information before I saw your short video. It was a knees jerk reaction and again I am sorry! I would never think you would lie or I would not be such a big fan. Just dealing with a lot of should not have lashed out! Keep up the good work!!!!
Thank you, Miss Donna! I appreciate that and you 💜💜💜
I am presuming Joseph is back into his addiction. So sorry to hear that for you, Paps and Aden. What does his wife do when he is doing drugs. Is she on drugs too? If not can’t she let you know what he is up to! Ya’ll are in my prayers.
He did relapse a few weeks ago but as far as I know he's working on getting his stuff back together. Praying that's the case! 💜
You are such a gem. Praying for you 🙏❤️🦋
I'll take all the prayers I can get! 💜💜💜
Your son is very blessed to have a mom like you!
Thank you so much for the kind words 💜
@@FromtheHoller you’re most welcome 🫶🤗
Thank You ❤❤❤😊
My mom was a psych nurse and she still almost did. Don’t blame yourself
We all have to learn the word no❤
And be firm with it. That was my hardest thing
Mine too Missy❤️
@tammyhalderman2031 💜💜
My grandson is having issues with addiction. He is in Juvenile right now because he got into trouble while on probation. His dad,my son,is divorced for 10 years from his mom. I am going to try and persuade him to watch this video. He is such an enabler not only to this son but all his children. He cannot say no to anything😟??? I sure hope your son is doing ok!! Bless your heart for telling us your story you are helping and possibly saving lives. Sending my love and prayers for you and your family. 🙏
Hello,
At first you are TRICKED and then one day you actually HEAR and SEE it for what it is !
My brother was the BEST at trickery and still is, but I’ve gotten WAY better at seeing it coming a mile away most days.
Love your videos Missy 🙌🙏
Take Care 🌸🌼
Yes! That's a great analogy for it!! Thank you, Miss Carol 😘 ❤️
Ican relate to this,Ive seen my two brothers ive lost from addiction do this to my MoMA so so many times, Even im guilty of my alcohol abuse a time or two😢But deep down my mother knew what it was for,She always gave them the money on up until they were gone , maybe a few times she would say no , Sometimes she believed it was for groceries, cigarettes,or what not
Thank you, sweet friend 🧡
@@FromtheHoller your welcome hope you have a happy Sunday
You are so right. How would you ever live with yourself knowing that the little bit of money you gave your addict child was the money that bought the drug he or she overdoses on. A parent can never get over that. It's one of the most difficult things a parent can ever go through having a child who's an addict. Having to recondition yourself to show love by withholding what your child begs for and says they need. You have to completely change your whole instinct for parenting.
It's not a natural way of parenting and feels horrible
Unfortunately love does not cure drug addiction.
Amen
Ur so bang on missy l can relate to u in everything God knows what lve gone through death in the end 22yrs old beautiful son piece me gone forever hope u get a end result as gòd wouldn't wish losing a child in the end l died with him rip lve one son left God willing my son now God protect him and keep him safe God bless missy good luck hope u never get that call God forbid keep talking girl well made video it's mentally in every way destroys u
Bless you, sweet friend 🧡
I learned how to handle and survive my addict ex-husband. Now his sons. I went to Alanon and AA, an alcoholism counseling course. I say, AA and AlAnon. I don't think Alanon is strong enough alone, as people get well and leave. In AA they stay and share their experience, strength, and hope. You just go to open AA meetings, as you don't have to be an addict to go. NA also uses AA for support. Those 12 steps are for everyone, then you can share your experience, strength, and hope with others struggling the same.
I am sorry you had to go through this to prepare parents but your journey is pricelessto your viewers.
Thank you for your support 💜💜💜
Everything you have said, I've done. I've had every e xcuse there is from my son for money. I love my son deeply but also hate the person he is. He has multiple addictions, drugs, and his drink of choice - rum, gambling, and women...
As a mother, it's so hard to watch and go through the deconstruction that he causes. One by one, family members are getting tired and sick of his little outbursts. I'm seeking counselling for myself, but at present, it's not doing much good.
We parents just have to hope and pray that one day they will change.
Sending positive energy to you and your family ❤
We know so much more today than we did 7 years ago when my 35 year old son lost the fight. I did love my son to death and I feel it every single day.
I'm so sorry you lost your son! I'm sending you huge hugs, Mama!! 💜💜💜
It's not only a parent's it's siblings too I was one for my brother I thought at 1st our parents was doing wrong by not helping him
Very true! I don't think my other kids ever felt that. They went straight to anger
@@FromtheHoller it was just the 2 of us but after I seen what was going on I finally had to stop.
@JillBuck-gv3iv I understand and probably would've felt the same
I have been thru this same thing. It is devastating
It sure is 💔
Missy I wish every parent could see this video. I was that parent. Any time he said he needed money I was there
It came to the point where I was hiding it from his dad. NO is the hardest word you will ever say. Missy like you I have heard every story.
And they can still from their babies and not think a thing of it.And i always said they can still from you and you looking at them. Great video.
💜😘
Great video and you are definitely helping family, parents and addicts.
Thank you 😊 💜
I do the same thing with my 41 yr old son.
He's doesn't care about priorities in his life .
I know he isn't on drugs ,he has depression and won't do anything about it.
He's been in jail for back child support for his 15 year old son .
He works at these temporary jobs. No insurance or anything.
He's living with my daughter now and I don't like it .
He owes me like $150 right now.
I feel like you do about helping him .
He lived with us and my husband wanted me to throw him out .
We fought for along time about that
I refuse to do that.
Well I think we live and learn 😊
💜💜💜
Shawna is sending Aidens' letter off todayShe told her mama what to say. Ans her mama wrote it for her. Lol.
Yes I'm definitely guilty of loving my son to death except he got in trouble and went to prison not because he was a bad person he is a recovering addict, he pulled 6 years but now he is doing great Thank God even though that was so hard onus all he got off drugs and I Pray he stays clean 1 day at a time 😢
💜❤️
Prayers are always the answer ❤️❤️❤️
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I was told onetime that you are not dealing with your child. You are dealing with the drugs. They will tell you anything to get what they want. I finally gave up and I told them I was done and that it was between them and their God. I still love but I don;t like.
That pretty much sums it up, yes. It's heartbreaking 💔
12:55 💯
29:25 💯😔
I so hope your son is still doing good and can't wait to see him on with you again. Great video today
Thank you! Hopefully we can get our schedules worked out to where he can have time to sit down and do another video with me 😉💜
Words of Wisdom. 🙏🏼❤️🕊️
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Wow Missy I feel your words so deeply 😔
💜💜💜
Everyone’s walk is different. I for one is in a no contact situation rt now with one of my sons( he’s wishes) I chose not to dance to his tunes like my ex husband does, therefore im useless to him. The pain I feel? Is deep, I gave it to God all mighty as soon as I felt where this was all going? ( mother’s intuition they call it?)
He is a successful businessman but closet user. I refuse to have any part of him using me as a puppet any longer and he caught on to it. So he cancelled me. Does it hurt? YES! Do I have to live with what happens from here on out? YES. I love him the same as I love my other 2 but I’ve been through enough to last me a lifetime so I pray a looot. God has the wheel with my son.
Preach Girl....
I said no to my son (not an addict) and my parents would just always undermine me and say yes! I lost him to them!!
Can I please ask you what your symptoms were of your heart attack. I’m going through so much stress at the moment and I’m worried.
My symptoms were severe fatigue, nausea, backache and chest pains. Women can have many different symptoms of a heart attack and sometimes you'd never think it was a heart attack. If you think that's happening please get checked
@@FromtheHoller how was yours diagnosed? And what treatment did you have?
@donnajohnson8035 they ran several tests (I don't remember what they were called) along with bloodwork. I was on bed rest for several days and was prescribed Atenelol to help keep my heart rate in check. It was extremely high without meds
@@FromtheHollerthank you. Can you please describe the pain and the level of it.
for me it was just tightening in my chest. It could be different for others
Expensive calls...
Sending so much love to everyone having a hard time. I also pray you feel a sense of calm and the peace of Jesus. 🫂💙
"My peace I give unto you,
I do not give to you as the world gives.
Let not your heart be troubled nor let it be afraid."
-John 14:27
Thank you 💜
Hi MIssy, I remember you saying that your son who is the addict was not your biological son. He may have Reactive attachment disorder, which means that he has had issues with bonding with you as a maternal mother. If this is true, does he ever see his maternal mother ? Just wondering. Our youngest son is adopted, and even thought we adopted him at 4 months old, he went through this stage. They love you, but at the same time can do actions that harm you (like selling your jewelry). Just a thought ...
No, he is my biological son. He's my youngest. The 2 older children aren't my biological but they're my children all the same
@@FromtheHoller I hope he is doing well in his out of town job. Perhaps this will get him on the road to recovery!
❤
Can you help me out with some new underwear! Thats a new one!
denial
anger
bargaining
depression
acceptance...in that order.
Yep, that's it 💜
Thank you for remembering all of them.
I worry about you physically
That he could hurt you
I'm a tough old bird with one heck of a right hook 😉😊💜
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You need to read Sharon Greene's comment! You fell for every excuse!
I did read her comment and I even responded to her. Yes, I probably did fall for every excuse, but you know what, I cleaned up my mistakes and I learned from my experiences. That's all I'm going to say on that subject
Just saw your short on addiction. First I heard of shoulder surgery and doc giving him pain meds. I don’t like you blaming others for his addiction!
Have watched all your videos never heard you say it was docs fault for prescription drug over subscription! My son broke his leg and shoulder during football that required surgery in high school. We got him off subscription painkillers after 10 days. Went to Tylenol and Advil.
His doc was trying to help him with his pain. Now being blamed for a 14 year plus addiction.
First of all, I don't blame his addiction on anyone but him! Second of all, I talked about how his addiction started in my very 1st video on this topic over a year ago. Third of all, I really don't like being called a liar. You've clearly NOT watched all my videos if you've never heard me talk about this. And lastly, you need to check yourself before you call me out like this when I've done nothing but be open, honest and kind
❤