Brad Williams Daddy Issues • Part 3 | LOLflix

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  • čas přidán 2. 06. 2024
  • Brad Williams Daddy Issues • Part 3 • How Kids React To Me Based On Their Race • Rachel Dolezal And The “I Identify As” People • I make everything better • When you see me buy Lucky Charms go buy a lottery ticket.
    Brad Williams Daddy Issues • Full Show, uncut, uninterrupted and no ads at: amzn.to/39dXuOu
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    Directed and Produced by: Scott Montoya • imdb.to/2LVcn0y
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Komentáře • 709

  • @jesselucian106
    @jesselucian106 Před 3 lety +1277

    When I was like 3 or 4 I met a dwarf at a grocery store and I guess I was one of those few white kids who actually spoke their mind about it, because I was like “WOAH, you’re the same size as me!” And he said “haha you’re right, I am!”

    • @isaacyeon6334
      @isaacyeon6334 Před rokem +42

      Lol that’s pretty cool man

    • @scottinWV
      @scottinWV Před rokem +87

      He probably enjoyed that interaction with an innocent child.

    • @jesselucian106
      @jesselucian106 Před rokem +53

      @@scottinWV probably lmao. From what my mom told me about that story he seemed to be about as amused as I am, but I can’t exactly speak for him. I suppose I was a fairly inquisitive child, and he probably appreciated how transparent I was about clearly not seeing a midget up until that point I’d imagine hahah

    • @peterrintup2515
      @peterrintup2515 Před rokem +23

      When I was at college(high school for Americans) there was a midget in my tutor group(I assume that is home class for Americans but I'm not sure) she was a senior when i started so I never knew her proper name but everyone called her sweety and she was a genuinely beautiful person a bit shy but once you got to know her.
      Heart of pure gold still remember now 14 years later. And kinda miss knowing her.

    • @jesselucian106
      @jesselucian106 Před rokem +6

      @@peterrintup2515 she sounds like she was an amazing person to get to know honestly:) when I was in (American) college I saw a midget around campus, and I never actually got to know him myself, but I have the impression at least that everybody that knew him seemed to like him, he was always bantering or laughing with people it seemed. I was super reserved in college, but honestly now I kind of wish I actually got to know some of the interesting people I saw on campus, like him lol.

  • @g.r.rent.345
    @g.r.rent.345 Před 3 lety +1247

    He really is never short on jokes

  • @potatoharvey9697
    @potatoharvey9697 Před 3 lety +135

    “Mijo don’t look into his eyes it’s a chupacabra.”

  • @nachyocheeze9348
    @nachyocheeze9348 Před rokem +257

    "Niglit" almost made me spit my soda out. This man is fucking hilarious. My mom actually used to call me that when I was little.

  • @hiddentruth1982
    @hiddentruth1982 Před 4 lety +767

    this guy is one of the funniest people I've ever seen. I respect how he is willing to call it out also.

    • @MrJollyJedi
      @MrJollyJedi Před 4 lety +2

      Burris Streaming pound for pound for sure!

    • @mmill956
      @mmill956 Před 4 lety +1

      Expound on it👈😜

  • @andrewenkosilobi9996
    @andrewenkosilobi9996 Před rokem +213

    Literally spit my tea out when he said "I got rims bigger than you" 🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂🤣
    Brad is our lil gift from God 🔥🔥🔥

    • @brandypringle2400
      @brandypringle2400 Před rokem +1

      I heard ribs

    • @Persed_off
      @Persed_off Před rokem +1

      Litteraly

    • @jessicaroy2959
      @jessicaroy2959 Před rokem +1

      Lil gift from God nice bro

    • @Digikidthevoiceofreason
      @Digikidthevoiceofreason Před 4 měsíci +2

      Yes but I am sure God wouldn’t appreciate the constant “using my name in vain” Brad does constantly.
      Aside from that I love watching Brad Williams. He is my 3rd favorite comedian.
      1.) Jeff Dunham
      2.) Jim Carrey
      3.) Brad Williams

    • @Meman29384
      @Meman29384 Před 3 měsíci

      Ribs

  • @lynnwest4307
    @lynnwest4307 Před 4 lety +328

    I used to know this chick that was 4 foot 4. One time she came over to the house she told me and my sister that she had got pulled over and got a ticket for not being in a car seat. She was the driver

  • @pbabuik
    @pbabuik Před 3 lety +373

    One time I saw little person with lucky charms , I actually bought a lottery ticket ( won 20 bucks) not only that later that evening I bought a blizzard from dairy Queen the clerk forgot to serve it upside down so I got a free one . Best Friday the 13th ever

  • @pfc6329
    @pfc6329 Před 4 lety +241

    While working at a restaurant a woman came in with her husband. The manager was in such a rush to seat them that she grabbed a kids coloring kit. We tried to tell her but she wouldn't listen . Problem was that she didn't look close to see he was a dwarf. The man just laughed n thought it was hilarious. She on the other hand was embarrassed as well as very apologetic.

  • @kiernanwilson3458
    @kiernanwilson3458 Před 3 lety +373

    When he said niglet I spit out my drink😂😂

    • @bread_0107
      @bread_0107 Před rokem +17

      Caught me mad off guard

    • @myladynaynay
      @myladynaynay Před rokem +2

      Me too! 🤣🤣🤣

    • @noxion4143
      @noxion4143 Před rokem +9

      I've heard it before from Donald Glover, but seeing a midged themselve say that made it probably even funnier than some other guy reciting a woman that argued with one

    • @Redrose-nm8gg
      @Redrose-nm8gg Před rokem +2

      Yeah same

    • @dawnfire82
      @dawnfire82 Před rokem +2

      It's from a movie called Tales from the Hood.

  • @bottombitch7405
    @bottombitch7405 Před 4 lety +452

    I identify as Michel Jackson and my pronouns at HEE/HEE

    • @ThePhantom03
      @ThePhantom03 Před 4 lety +2

      Nice

    • @txgunguy2766
      @txgunguy2766 Před 4 lety +6

      I identify as John D Rockefeller. Now, where's my $330 billion?
      YES. That was what he was worth at the time of his death in 1937 without adjusting for inflation. The richest American ever. NOW WHERE'S MY MONEY?!?!?!?!

    • @1freerangechick392
      @1freerangechick392 Před 4 lety +2

      Omg, that is one of the best clap backs ever! 😂😂😂

    • @phcert6267
      @phcert6267 Před 4 lety

      lololol!! pahahahahaha!!!

    • @sussybakka1030
      @sussybakka1030 Před 4 lety

      So you like kids

  • @themysterieshack8701
    @themysterieshack8701 Před 2 lety +66

    “Hey! Not gonna have a d#@k anymore! Merry Christmas!”
    Died laughing 🤣

  • @JK-jl1bf
    @JK-jl1bf Před 4 lety +354

    A great comedian makes you think while you laugh at yourself.

  • @theyoutubelover7428
    @theyoutubelover7428 Před 4 lety +84

    The best part is when he starts speeking spanish 😂😂😂

  • @TCGBROWNSCARDS95
    @TCGBROWNSCARDS95 Před 4 lety +253

    i got rims bigger than you. lol i lost it

  • @jasonnobbs256
    @jasonnobbs256 Před 3 lety +156

    "I identify as a attack helicopter"
    Some military officer grabs you throws chairs on you and puts you in the middle of air field

    • @Justin-pe9cl
      @Justin-pe9cl Před 3 lety +3

      Yes, I’d finally be treated for what I truly am!

    • @bombvoyage5686
      @bombvoyage5686 Před 3 lety

      @@Justin-pe9cl a sentient ottoman?

  • @Dah42
    @Dah42 Před 4 lety +190

    He's a very talented comedian. God bless him.

  • @standoughope
    @standoughope Před 4 lety +107

    He's a hell of a comedian, no cheap laughs. I admire that, no lie. =)

  • @chickenchicken-ki4qc
    @chickenchicken-ki4qc Před 4 lety +58

    this man has amazing parents...

  • @amandapittar9398
    @amandapittar9398 Před rokem +23

    “ Niglet” I’m dying😂
    I’m barely five foot tall. So much of what he said had me roaring with laughter. My friends used to laugh as I am the only person they know who got chatted up by three little people on three separate occasions in nightclubs. I like to think I looked approachable…. Always had a goood nights dancing & laughing. Brad is very clever.

  • @Truth-Crusaders
    @Truth-Crusaders Před 4 lety +187

    I stopped at Kroger's today and saw a midget pushing a child's size cart, i have no idea where he got the cart from.. so many questions but I'm white and I'm not allowed to express them

    • @jnailard9669
      @jnailard9669 Před 4 lety +2

      No you are there is a way to go about it

    • @Vinniegret
      @Vinniegret Před 3 lety +6

      They have these in grocery stores here labelled "for future shoppers". I guess they figured there weren't a lot of little people in my county.

    • @joeymorvant161
      @joeymorvant161 Před 2 lety

      Maybe he ordered it online. I'm not kidding or making fun of the situation. He really could have.

    • @tonyacosta4574
      @tonyacosta4574 Před 2 lety +3

      Actually I work at krogers we got those for kids too so they can shop with their parents

  • @darrellwc2293
    @darrellwc2293 Před 4 lety +76

    I love this guy so much dude. I’m black so this entire show just makes me that much happier lmao

  • @anistynsmart3337
    @anistynsmart3337 Před 4 lety +289

    Brad could hit me with a truck and id just laugh and thank him

    • @dabarecats9485
      @dabarecats9485 Před 4 lety +3

      I'd thank anyone who hits me with a truck

    • @batmanfanboy3235
      @batmanfanboy3235 Před 4 lety

      I wish a truck would hit me

    • @dabarecats9485
      @dabarecats9485 Před 4 lety

      @@batmanfanboy3235 yeah but have you tried getting hugs

    • @fairytaleending6657
      @fairytaleending6657 Před 4 lety +3

      @@dabarecats9485 virtual hugs right? Are we not on quarantine?🙄(🤗)

    • @pfc6329
      @pfc6329 Před 4 lety +8

      If he did it would be a tonka truck. :)

  • @THEGRUMPTRUCK
    @THEGRUMPTRUCK Před rokem +2

    "The Robert Downey Jr. Tropic Thunder surgery is REAL!!!"
    I almost pissed myself from laughing.

  • @DarthDevorin
    @DarthDevorin Před 3 lety +46

    "Dwarves make everything better."
    Amen.

    • @joeymorvant161
      @joeymorvant161 Před 2 lety

      Yeah, they do! Ralphie May(R.I.P.) used to mention in his stand-up how much he loved them. They're the absolute COOLEST!!!

  • @Bisxuit_
    @Bisxuit_ Před 3 lety +19

    2 words:
    GREAT
    COMEDY!

  • @Stix_ThatClix
    @Stix_ThatClix Před 11 měsíci +3

    “I want to be black” I started dying laughing for 20 minutes straight

  • @rajgusai
    @rajgusai Před 4 lety +137

    Dude u really make things better.
    I was really having bad day u just made me laugh😄

  • @AndrevusWhitetail
    @AndrevusWhitetail Před rokem +22

    Down with the flu at the moment with some serious coughing, this guy's routine is making me laugh so much it's actually clearing my lungs out holy shit

    • @RickW-HGWT
      @RickW-HGWT Před rokem

      Laughter is the best medicine.

    • @minaashido518
      @minaashido518 Před 4 měsíci

      @@RickW-HGWT”MEDICINE IS THE BEST MEDICINE” -professor Pippy Pee-Pee Diarrheastein Poopypants Esquire

  • @Mad9977
    @Mad9977 Před 4 lety +14

    lol a Chupacabra from Chipotle 😂👍

  • @bluelobster9753
    @bluelobster9753 Před 4 lety +45

    So I was listening to this in the middle School and when I almost had a seizure from laughing my teacher made me go to the office

  • @Saezimmerman
    @Saezimmerman Před rokem +29

    Love this guy
    His story about kids are so real. The most embarrassed I've ever seen a mother in public is when her child hollered down a long hallway at my husband (with cerebral palsy), "Hey Mister! How come you walk that way?"
    My husband thought it was honest, sweet and funny. I hope that kid didn't get some stern talking to later.

  • @ShadowQueen6676
    @ShadowQueen6676 Před 3 lety +22

    I never heard of this comedian before till I ran into one of these videos, and I'm absolutely dying of laughter 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

  • @whojessie
    @whojessie Před rokem +8

    “What’s a chupacabra? Can you order that from chipotle”😂😂by far my favorite part 😂😂🤣

    • @minaashido518
      @minaashido518 Před 4 měsíci

      Would not recommend that order if you are a sheep or goat

    • @rkyyrs9477
      @rkyyrs9477 Před 3 měsíci

      U can't as they are on the endangered list.

  • @bluegirlgraphics
    @bluegirlgraphics Před 3 lety +21

    LOL that whole beginning bit on people telling their kids not to say anything, that was my mom. I was the kid who would go "LOOK AT THAT" LOL (now I"m in my 40s). So yeah, we lived in a small town when I was really young and there was this dwarf or midget guy who would come in to the grocery store we went to. It was a small store so my mom apparently caught sight of him first then tried her best to avoid having me see him. Finally (and I remember this for some reason) we come around the corner, I'm in the cart sitting and there's the most adorable mini cowboy man just coming down the aisle in this powder blue Roy Rogers type vintage cowboy suit. I swear to gawd he was just like a little doll to me. Sadly, not sure if he heard but being a kid I couldn't help myself and yelled out "IT'S THE TINY COWBOY!" but I don't recall him ever reacting at all to me. Maybe he was used to being gawked at but he was definitely an adult when I think back to the way he looked. He had a gaunt face like he might have even been in his advanced years. But my mom would get so embarrassed by my reaction. I was terrible at not reacting to stuff as a kid. I would full blown find differences very cool and interesting even if my mom was like "no!" :P

  • @lislliamriegns
    @lislliamriegns Před 3 lety +17

    This man is smaller but carries a bigger laugh -- love him 🥰😍

  • @telecasterbear
    @telecasterbear Před 4 lety +16

    Brad is so frikken adorable.

  • @laynewyman3160
    @laynewyman3160 Před 4 lety +35

    Brad - I am Magic Mike
    Me - You are Magic Mini Me

  • @Norsedragoon
    @Norsedragoon Před 2 lety +4

    I identify as a Grizzly bear... Now if you'll excuse me, I have an appointment with some hikers!

  • @efflorescere-miranda1852
    @efflorescere-miranda1852 Před 4 lety +22

    I just love his honesty

  • @Cruz1214.
    @Cruz1214. Před 4 lety +19

    a reverse oreo cookie? Im so Done XD

  • @scottketterer9081
    @scottketterer9081 Před 3 lety +18

    This dude made me laugh so hard and even a tear or two when he talked about his father in the 4th clip in the series. Lets see more of him PLEASE!!

  • @SamW-Imagrownup.
    @SamW-Imagrownup. Před 4 lety +41

    Doesn't get any funnier than Brad!!... and he's so cute!..lol

  • @tinacline474
    @tinacline474 Před 4 lety +26

    Wow this guy almost made me pop my stiches lmfao gullblatter taken out but can laugh 😁😂

  • @romeo2784
    @romeo2784 Před 4 lety +22

    The funiest thing ive ever seen was a midget buying a tramopline at walmart at strapped it to the roof of his car. I couldn't stop laughing thinking about watching him jump on it.

  • @Lycan4
    @Lycan4 Před rokem +4

    'Niglet' caught me so off-guard. I was laughing so hard that I couldn't breathe for a bit, and when I did get a breath in, I started coughing. Jesus Christ, dude! XD

  • @noammospared
    @noammospared Před 3 lety +22

    Much love Mr. Williams. I would be at your show if you ever get to fla. Thanks for keeping it real,man! Keep on spreading the smiles and laughter Brad. You are exactly what this world needs.

  • @pfcthomasw.9394
    @pfcthomasw.9394 Před 4 lety +8

    😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
    In that case,
    I identify as a
    Vulcan
    🖖🏿
    L.L.A.P.

  • @jimi032877
    @jimi032877 Před rokem +4

    My 8yr son has some mental and developmental issues, he also has seizures that has stopped his breathing and have life flighted to children's hospital from our home. Story 1: We were at a special train ride event, he walks up to a very large, muscular black man, tugged on his shit and started a conversation about trains. The gentleman was dumb founded, he said "I am kinda overwhelmed, never have I had a little white kid walk up and talk to me without showing fear or uncomfortably due to my size and skin color". This gentleman looked surprised and kept the conversation going.
    Story 2: we have Mennonites living accross the road from us. He went over to help pick up shingles and wood as they reproof their home. He'd run home and grab drinks to give to them. He came back exited, said there's a little boy over there, he grabs Pappi, our exotic bird and runs back. He returns with the bird, starts grabbing his toy trains to show the other boy. He had his non service cellphone to take pictures. He showed them to us, the young boy was wheel chair bound, has muscular dystrophy and mental disabilities. My son does not discriminate or see that some people are different. He sees then as all the Sam.

  • @yonaosborne5136
    @yonaosborne5136 Před 4 lety +10

    I love his go to white name is Trevor
    “There’s no such thing as a redickotomy” this guy is fucking brilliant

  • @ariadneschild8460
    @ariadneschild8460 Před 2 měsíci +1

    I love the way you just roast humanity. 😂 🤣🤣

  • @earthy6744
    @earthy6744 Před 4 lety +31

    Someone in the live chat said “He’s so short!”

  • @Dnightshade100
    @Dnightshade100 Před 4 měsíci +1

    Brad says “ you know why I can get away with stuff… cause I’m cute.”
    Me: “not that cute” XD lol

  • @twizted_goblin
    @twizted_goblin Před 4 lety +13

    Their is only few ppl that can make me Laugh so hard that i fall on the floor from it ,
    and Since last week he is one of them XD , i hope one day i able to go see one of his shows

  • @bpg5591
    @bpg5591 Před 3 lety +3

    I lost it at the Magic Mike. X X S lol

  • @Noneya_07
    @Noneya_07 Před 4 lety +17

    I can’t wait until August when he’s coming to Houston!!!!!

  • @midnightstrike1130
    @midnightstrike1130 Před 2 lety +9

    I love Brad Williams! He's so hilarious and I can watch his videos and always laugh so hard

  • @mikeserot1410
    @mikeserot1410 Před rokem +3

    He's absolutely one of the funniest comedians I've ever seen. I hope to see him perform live one day.

  • @ericfarrell3227
    @ericfarrell3227 Před 3 lety +5

    that lifeguard arm floaties gets me everytime

  • @lucyharrison9399
    @lucyharrison9399 Před 11 měsíci +11

    As a trans woman the comments regarding Miss Jenner rang so true, and brad thank you for saying you understand how tough life has been. you are awesome XX

    • @minaashido518
      @minaashido518 Před 4 měsíci

      I’m glad you haven’t needed the repeeniotomy

  • @themysterieshack8701
    @themysterieshack8701 Před 2 lety +3

    I so badly want to see Brad walking down Hannaford with Lucky Charms now lol 😂 🍀

  • @marcospadilla1133
    @marcospadilla1133 Před 4 lety +10

    My favorite comedian this guy is awesome

  • @Daralyndk
    @Daralyndk Před rokem +3

    I love this guy
    Making your own "weakness" into strength

  • @Theviking42097
    @Theviking42097 Před 4 lety +20

    Love brad Williams

  • @atozrecovery518
    @atozrecovery518 Před 4 lety +15

    Brad is awesome. I could watch his videos all day long. Hilarious

  • @matthewfisher6700
    @matthewfisher6700 Před 4 lety +36

    We need him in our life's just get him with lucky charms and we're good for life

  • @rudevalve
    @rudevalve Před 4 lety +4

    Certified Platinum!!!!!

  • @chasbo25
    @chasbo25 Před 2 lety +9

    This guy is a great comedian and very funny. Little personn has a ton of talent and a great mind. Quality stuff for sure.

  • @davethomas543
    @davethomas543 Před 4 lety +44

    Is that the worlds biggest microphone?

  • @leonbeck6254
    @leonbeck6254 Před 4 lety +6

    You are the Greatest. Love ya. Happy you get to be a Dad😍🥰👍

  • @Sky14318
    @Sky14318 Před 2 měsíci

    Literally spit my coffee farther than Brad is tall @ “WORTH IT!” 😂

  • @azraelbis8404
    @azraelbis8404 Před 4 lety +16

    THIS DUDE IS SO DAMN AMAZING! thank u youtube for the suggestion xD

  • @dogsevil8672
    @dogsevil8672 Před 4 lety +10

    Brad is funny as hell!

  • @SarahMcAsey93
    @SarahMcAsey93 Před 4 lety +2

    "Magic Mike xxs" bloody legend......😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

  • @ariannaemileemariesofia572

    Him mentioning the chupacabra hit home!! My dad used to tell me if I didn't go to sleep the chupacabra would come and eat me. That didn't help. At. All.

  • @kevinpompey2454
    @kevinpompey2454 Před 4 lety +8

    Keep the laughs coming...you are AMAZING!!! 😄😄😄

  • @TheDeathReaper141
    @TheDeathReaper141 Před 2 lety +2

    1:35 Legit I swear he sounded like King of the Hill! 🤣

  • @meredithmitchell8921
    @meredithmitchell8921 Před rokem +1

    I really appreciate that all of the videos are fully subtitled

  • @tarunsharma2077
    @tarunsharma2077 Před 4 lety +9

    When I get his video notifications I stop all my work n relex n watch n laugh 😂 ❤️ love you bro

  • @TopHatJester
    @TopHatJester Před rokem +1

    Funniest and realest comedian EVER.

  • @jackw3235
    @jackw3235 Před 4 lety +16

    Brad Williams is the funniest dude I ever came. I'm laughing so hard I can't stop crying 😂🤣😂🤣💀

  • @ThrowbackDrummer
    @ThrowbackDrummer Před rokem +1

    The “I identify as” bit is more relevant today than when he first did it

  • @deegomez8813
    @deegomez8813 Před rokem +1

    I got rims bigger than you,yo that part had me in stitches 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @rajgusai
    @rajgusai Před 4 lety +18

    Im cute 😂😂😂 im adorable

  • @Ancaryvan
    @Ancaryvan Před 3 měsíci

    😂 Really hit my spot when he says chubacabra! Thanks Castlevania, showing me what that looks like.

  • @theofficialdtb8859
    @theofficialdtb8859 Před 2 měsíci +1

    I met Verne Troyer at a car show in Houston, Texas when i was 11. He was very cool and I still have the autograpghed photo to this day. It was him using one of Shaq's shoes as a stand and had his pinky to the lip. I absolutely adore it

  • @JajaPhD
    @JajaPhD Před 4 lety +9

    LOL! I totally enjoyed this.

  • @MADRESLECHES
    @MADRESLECHES Před 3 lety +5

    Being bilingual is AMAZING

  • @rkyyrs9477
    @rkyyrs9477 Před 3 měsíci +1

    My nieces love lucky charms but only the marshmallows. I'll never look at this the same way.

  • @shahancheong9792
    @shahancheong9792 Před rokem

    "NIGLET!"
    I'm dying of laughter!!

  • @pfcthomasw.9394
    @pfcthomasw.9394 Před 4 lety +6

    Brad,
    Sir...
    Thank you so very
    MUCH for giving us all
    a reason to
    Laugh again,
    You are too funny
    God Bless you sir..
    aloha,
    T~

  • @illnoyz5054
    @illnoyz5054 Před 2 lety +3

    If I see you buying a box of lucky charms. Screw a lottery ticket Id follow you to the end of the rainbow lol

  • @joegun4259
    @joegun4259 Před 3 lety +4

    Midget: frick I'm out of money
    Guy: I guess you're
    Midget: DON'T
    Guy: SHORT ON CASH :D

  • @yup_its_ME.512
    @yup_its_ME.512 Před 3 lety +3

    loved his Spanish accent! 🤣

  • @Meman29384
    @Meman29384 Před 3 měsíci

    “His people aren’t good at helping” they make GREAT medieval weopons and armor

  • @gilbertosantiagoaponte1955

    His jokes are diferent every Time AND real

  • @sameerakbarmahomed2755
    @sameerakbarmahomed2755 Před 4 lety +5

    This dude is awesome WORTH IT aaaaaaaaàahhhhhhhh his adorable

  • @monicapdx
    @monicapdx Před 11 měsíci

    Ohgawd, I actually cried laughing. Happy this finally showed up in my feed.

  • @PafMedic
    @PafMedic Před 3 lety +3

    One Of Our EMT’s Is Only 4’2”...and a Damn Great Tech❤️

  • @RealGateGuardian
    @RealGateGuardian Před 2 měsíci +1

    Brad's 100% right, I worked at The Rivers Casino in Pittsburgh PA back in 2009, One night I was cleaning the sinks in the bathroom area, and not one but THREE midgets walked in. One guy was washing his hands, looked at them, then at me. They did their business, washed their hands, and left, I said to the guy who was still in shock: "I know what you're thinking, but I don't know the punchline either." I should have bought a fuckin' lotto ticket that night.