Jayson Tatum: Did my father even like me?
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- čas přidán 25. 10. 2022
- Boston Celtics superstar Jayson Tatum candidly details his tough love, basketball-centric relationship with his father, Justin Tatum. Jayson recalls only spending time with his dad as a kid at basketball-related events or at the barber shop and remembers his dad’s very public abuse, even pinning him up against a locker in front of teammates. And through it all, Jayson says his dad was trying to strengthen and toughen him, and the tough love worked.
#JaysonTatum #Fatherhood #BallIsLife
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This puts his extremely close and caring relationship with Deuce in perspective.
really beautiful point
Exactly. All his words are from a parent perspective even when he speaks on his dad parenting style. You could tel NOW he understands growing up in Lou his parents had to be that way.
Agreed.
Who’s deuce?
@@JimmyStruthers1000 his son
This is the saddest interview I’ve watched in a while. It definitely encourages me to let my son know how much I love him daily though.
God bless! You just put such a positive spin on this!
Respect.
I read your comment before I watched the video and I was like this can't be the saddest interview but it really is
Do that. Be a good father.
Your comment made me feel better about the interview!
Glad JT broke the cycle and has a great relationship with Deuce. He genuinely seems like a good father.
The fact that his parents were super hard on him explains why he responds so well to Ime Udoka’s gritty coaching style. He seems like a super mature young man to be able to speak about these experiences and turn it into positive energy.
please explain to me how is ur father torturing you related to having a defensive coach ?? wtf u talking about ?
@@bokaboka4675 😭
Holding his son against the wall and humiliating him in front of others, telling him he's not going to be anything had nothing to do with being hard. It was brutality and abuse.
@@bokaboka4675 honestly I’d explain it to you but I don’t really want to so just try and change perspectives to figure out what he means
He’s playing better now with the new coach!! Soooo
Seems like his father couldn't accept his failures and tried to live vicariously through his son. Thankfully Jayson seems like a wonderful father.
yes and jaysom is in that position to be a great father and provide an amazing life because of Jayson's teachings. Jaysom's mom was also "tough" on him. amazing things happen when you push your child to excel
Sounds like Tatum is doing the same thing with Duece by being his son’s best friend since his father wasn’t his the way he wanted him to be.
I agree with what you’re saying but…. He is who he is today, because of his father. He wouldn’t be in the NBA today, without his father guidance. He needed someone to be rough on him. He is a wonderful father to his son, due to his own experiences with his father. His father just wanted to bring the best out of JT. What if he had an absentee father? Would JT be in the position he is today? That’s just his dad’s way of parenting, and getting the best out of his son. No one is perfect at parenting, we just learn from our parents and try to implement it in a better way. His dad knew what to say to make Jayson ball out, and it worked.
@@woodylucas that’s a damn ignorant statement. He pinned his son to a locker like a cliche bully and told jayson he wasn’t gonna make it. There’s a line he crossed he’s a father first not a coach
@@97NikeSb You sound silly that was nowhere close to a ignorant statement.
Trying to push your kid to greatness is one thing, berating and humiliating to get that greatness out of him is another. You can argue “Hey, it worked”, but you can’t say he wouldn’t have made it this far with positivity and toughness at the same time.
Having a need to dominate other athletes is probably never healthy, but that's the path of a professional athlete. I think they're all a little psycho
There’s a fine line
@@Musicdudeyoutub So many all time greats who didn’t get humiliated by their dad every day though. The antics just aren’t needed. Tough yes, tyrant though? Michael Jordan can attest to that not being needed
Exactly. Lot's of pro athlete's parents try to justify their actions be looking at the end result. Problem is there's no way to know what would have happened had they not been abusive. It's a scumbag move.
My dad acted similarly with my siblings and I. Problem is none of us went pro and half of us don't even talk to him now. And the ones that do aren't even really close with him.
Exactly. Mfs are saying he did it to make Jayson tough and that the end result worked, but no amount of bs will justify crossing that line and going beyond what's necessary. That's not the way to raise your children, regardless of whatever goal or achievement you got in mind for them. The ends don't justify the means, especially in a parental relationship. His dad is just one lucky mf that had a talented enough son to at least make it seem like his bullshit methods weren't all that bad.
Jayson seems to be emotionally intelligent and doing better with his son than what he experienced. I hope he is receiving love for himself too now. We all deserve that.
Many men use the excuse that they didn't have a father so they don't know how to be one and abandoned their duties. Good for him ending that BS excuse 👏
My dad is very rough on me but I turned out well.
His dad was rough, but at least he was somewhat around lol. It's actually not an excuse, its a real cycle of pain
It's not healthy to treat a kid like that, it can lead to a psychological issues, whether it be education or sport.
🤷🏽♂️🤷🏽♂️ don’t do it to your kids then
@lionstruth8937Tatum isn’t an isolated example. That type of teaching can have negative effects
Graham is like a sports therapist. Athletes open up to him like they are in therapy. Asks a simple question and just let them talk freely.
Speaking from past experiences with parents and coaches, emotional abuse creates scars that’ll never go away!
your experience proves that they will never go away? lol
He and his dad will never have a close relationship, Jayson is just being honorable and respectful 🙏🏽
This interview made me so sad. I love Tatum. He seems to be a great dad, and a respectful young man, not to mention a hell of a player.
I'm so happy he didn't let his pain control his future.
That last sentence!
Don’t watch the Sage Steele interview then. He cries 😔 it’s really sad. I cried too
There will be people who will watch this and feel as though his father's abuse was justified because of Jason's success. His father abused him and to many people believe this is the way to go. I come across to many cases where adults are traumatized by their childhood.
exactly like they're missing the point..
@@Seitex2004 I agree with you.
it was justified
@@Seitex2004 what point
@Lions Truth No, his father is an abuser. Simple
Seems like a very down to earth superstar. You don’t see this vulnerability often with athletes.
I wish people could see that a person can certainly reach amazing heights without any trauma and abuse. All experiences aren’t necessary but I think it’s a defense mechanism when people say they wouldn’t trade a poor experience such as a abuse.
Especially when it comes at the expense of a father son relationship. Causing your child that trauma is never okay.
False. You can NOT reach greatness without a hard hand. Joe Jackson and Michael Jackson, CL Franklin and Aretha Franklin, Richard Williams and Serena/Venus, Earl Woods and Tiger Woods. Phil and Shaq, James Jordan & Michael Jordan. All great. All ruthlessly strict demanding fathers. You need insanity to become great and each of those BLACK FATHERS gave it to their son. These type videos try to tear down black fathers. Ain't falling for it. You shouldn't either.
@@DrAlexanderHamilton ???? parenting styles derived from trying to survive under slavery is what caused this trauma in the first place. success does not negate poor mental health. You don't need to be insane to be great
@@Seitex2004 you're flat out wrong. I'm not talking about good. I'm talking about great. Greatness takes insanity and unless you're great at something, you wouldn't know. I am great. What I have achieved giving my background is flat out astonishing and I had similar parenting and every other great person I've met have similar stories...and it's not just black people. Indians, Asians, Nigerians, and many Carribean parents are notoriously hard on their children as you have to be to prepare them for a ruthless world. Children that grow up soft are not prepared for what this ruthless world will throw at them. Yale Law professor Amy Chua, an Asian America wrote the same thing about how hard she was on her children and how great they became great. I can't remember the name of the book about all the top folks on Wall Street and in silicone valley, but they all came from households with ruthless parenting. Steve Jobs of Apple, Mark Zuckerberg of Facebook, Elon Musk of PAYPAL MAFIA/Tesla/Space X, Larry Ellison of Oracle, Marc Benioff of Salesfore. All great. All had strict overbearing ruthless parenting. Jayson Tatutm would not be in the NBA if his father wasn't that ruthless. Michael Jackson admitted he would have never become the King of Pop without the ruthless parenting of Joe Jackson. Serena & Venus have always said that they wouldn't be at the top of the tennis world without Richard Williams' ruthless parenting. Michael Jordan talked about his father and older brother making him play in the cold rain and how he wouldn't be where he is at the top of the basketball and sports world without ruthless parenting. Tiger Woods has talked ad nausem about how harsh Earl Woods was on him as a child. ALL GOATS. Oh and just google the parenting stories of Roger Feder, Nadal, Djokoviv, Naomi Osaka and Coco Gauf. I could go on and on. All came from ruthless parenting. You might be less strict on your children and they might end up good, but they will never be GREAT.
For a greater understanding on this topic, please read "Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother" by Amy Chua, which is about ruthless parenting.
p.s. look at the next video titled "Jayson Tatum: Coach K's "soft a$$ St. Louis kid" tantrum." Coach K at Duke was equally ruthless, but Jayson Tatum was adequately prepared to handle Coach K b/c of how hard his father was on it. Great parenting.
Not many people reach those heights without trauma. Trauma motivates people
I'm glad Jayson seems like he is trying to be the best dad and emotionally present for Deuce, it takes a lot of courage and maturity to say "I'm gonna be to my children what I never had in life".
Facts!! Instead of repeating the cycle of abuse
Hugs to JT, that must've been tough going through all that. He is an amazing young man and a wonderful father. Sometimes you learn how not to be and that is just as valuable as learning how to be.
I grew up like this with my father never really had a relationship outside of sports but it made me make sure I’m close with my daughter and spending time creating a bond
This made me cry… I’m
Happy he’s successful now and he has a loving relationship with his son
I'd rather have my child not be a professional athlete if it had to come at the cost of not having a loving relationship with them. I find that kind of parenting gross. So happy Jayson can give Deuce what he never had. Jayson is an amazing father!!
And Justin gave Jayson something he never had . Each generation is supposed be better than the next
@@antem1983 good point
This type of abuse is horrible but that pressure can create diamonds. Ichiro Suzuki famously doesn't talk to his father due to his abusive and obsessive baseball training since early childhood - but he became one of the greatest ever and his father has a shrine of his accomplishments even though they don't speak. Tiger Woods' father is another great example.
Interesting never knew that bout Ichiro,serena and venus Williams father good example as well,it can also backfire todd & marv marinavich come to mind
Yeah but look at steph curry, Kobe Bryant, Michael Jordan, Lewis Hamilton. There is no valid reason why your own child should ever feel like you literally do not even like them as a person. That’s just dumb and people like that die alone
On some joe jackson shit
Similar for Nyjah Huston
Would you choose the path if you received EVERYTHING YOU WANTED IN LIFE BECAUSE OF IT.
Imagine having to question yourself on if your own father like you or not that’s crazy and sad honestly 😭
Whew what he said at the end about wanting his son to be his best friend got me 😢❤
That explains why he is the way he is with his own son❤
Yeah he actually cried talking about it when he talked to Sage Steele, it’s very sad. I hope he gets the healing he deserves
4:46 he closed his eyes as to relive the moment, poor baby
I understand. It was obvious my mother didn’t like me. While the way she treated me pushed me to succeed, prove her wrong and be a great mother to my own child…her mean treatment towards me created scars that will never go away. I suffered from low self esteem for years and still to this day struggle with my self confidence that I have to manage. So you’re not doing your kids any favors by demeaning them. People looking from the outside may think you’re so successful but no one knows the pain on the inside of you that you never talk about. I swore I would never be like my mother and I’m not. I forgave her but to this day don’t have the type of relationship I would want with a parent.
This is an instance where the traumatic coaching "worked " in that he got to the NBA. Can't imagine all of the similar stories in which the kid doesn't make it. Just left with traumatic experiences and broken relationship with fathers.
My husband grew up in AAU and this story is very common. We saw many father/son relationships ruined bc of the trainer/coach dad.
We even saw one of our friends refuse to attend his fathers funeral bc of the damage the coaching by his father did to their relationship.
Seen it happen with my cousin recently too. Pushing him hard pushed him away
Seen a few cases like this close up. A lot of these kids don't become Tatum, Woods, Jackson, etc. They just suffer.
This warms my heart, @85 my Dad is one of my best friends. Jason seems like he's got the right idea. I'm still trying to be the best father to my own , even in their 20's. The early years are golden, wish him the best.
I live in Australia and his dad coaches here in the NBL. He took over midway through the season after they fired their original coach. They were dead last when he took over and now they’re coming 4th. He is now running for coach of the year.
what an intimate and amazing interview
Hurt people tend to hurt people. It's difficult for a man whose father wasn't present to have an idea as to how to raise a child. Some may be inspired to bring up their child in a way that they which they had growing up and some tend to continue the cycle. It sucks that his father was hard on him but in the same sense he's grateful because that sense of disdain that he thought his father had towards him made him one of the top 5 young players in the NBA today and I'm sure it's one of the reasons why he is such a great father figure for his son Duece.
Look at Tatum man, so inspirational🙌🏻💚🤍
Jayson is amazing for overcoming what he has in his life to succeed and give his family and himself a better life. I do hope he is able to process all the different ways his childhood relationship with his father has effected his own well-being and relationships with others as an adult. That can be very difficult.
No wonder he’s so reserved and quiet fathers are extremely important in building your self esteem
Holy shit... This is incredibly traumatic.. I hope JT has a good therapist in his life to help him sort through this child abuse..
This just reminds me to let my kids be kids. Yes, I want them to succeed, and there's a certain level they may not reach without being pushed, but I don't want them to ever feel like I don't like them.
JT's dad was doing the best that he could with as much information that he had at the time. We know better now so we should be wise with the approach we take with our kids in any field that they want or that we want them to pursue
100% wholeheartedly agree
Wrong, his dad was unhappy with himself living through his son, they aren't close Jayson is being a respectful son that's all
Black parents confuse tough love with abuse it's heartbreaking
Agreed- happens way too often and if the child is successful it's DESPITE that kind of treatment, not because of it.
Trauma passed down
While this may be true in this instance. This is not relegated to black parents. We have a bad habit of believing all trauma based behavior only resides in the black community. Again, not to excuse any behavior because another community may do it also, but the fact is this behavior occurs very often outside of our community as well.
@@Dharp06 you're right about that
white parents can too
I was watching this interview on Television on New Years Eve Day. I found it on CZcams so I could post my 2cents in. I felt Jason's Emotional Vibration when he was speaking Candidly about his family's and boyhood struggles, like when the Preppy kids told him that his chances of being an NBA Star were not realistic and he cried because they were laughing at him and he truly believed in his heart that, that's what he was going to be. I can relate to being laughed at. It hurts when people don't have faith in your ambitious dreams and goals. His Mom really said the right thing about never forgetting that moment and sticking to his dreams! I hope that he can achieve a championship someday. (Even though I'm a Heat Fan). I follow certain Players and Jason Tatum has a lot of Court Presence and makes an impact on the Games Outcome for sure. Good luck Jason.
Jeez, no matter how bad I want my little man to succeed in life I could never treat him like that
Grew up and became an great basketball and a great father to his son I respect it. It hard to make your parents happy the way you want them to be in general no matter what it is
Thank God he's a better man than his father were, there is no excuse for the way he treated him, he's so close to Deuce 🙏🏽 .
you can feel the trauma and doubt in his voice, that his father might not love him, even now. I hope he goes to therapy, because even though he can feel he is loved by both his parents, it can be hard to unpack those feelings he had as a child.
@Lions Truth My father suffered a stroke that made him unable to work since I was 16 and my brother was diagnosed with an inoperable tumour when I was 21. I've been supporting my family, with two people with special needs, since I was 17 and now I'm 34 yo. I understand trauma from both sides, the one who is the caretaker and the one suffering. That said, I would never judge someone's life based on my life experience, I would never resent someone more fortunate or diminish their own painful experience. Jason was clearly traumatized as a child by the feeling that his father's love wasn't unconditional. That's his own story, I'm not in any place to diminish it or take anything away from his experience. You might want to consider you don't know who you're talking to, online and off. So stay kind and generous, you don't know the pain each of us goes through.
@@lionstruth8937 Trauma is trauma, no matter how minor or extreme. No need to trivialize Tatum's experience just because he didn't become a male gigolo.
@@lionstruth8937 No lies told there.
@lionstruth8937 yea for Miami game 7 baby let's go
He will get a lot of healing from his relationship w his son ❤️ the things he didn't have w his dad , he can have w his son
There has to be a HAPPY Medium. Your Child has to know you love him. As a kid you don't understand why your parents do what they do, but once you are a parent, never forget when you were a kid
WOW. This immediately reminded me of Roy Jones Jr's dad who would taunt Roy in training and make him fight bigger kids. he said they don’t talk anymore
What? Jay, man you really strong. Lots respect.
i hope he has healed and it's good to see him learn from his past trauma and want to do better with deuce!
I hope he will be with my beloved Celtics for life 🙏 💙 ❤️.
Jayson made it this far and he’s so talented there’s no ceiling to his success but I hope all parents know that this isn’t necessary. You don’t have to torture your kid for them to be great.
Father sounds like Joe Jackson
If this ain't make his dad cry ...
Very sad, glad he turned out well.
It could have gone horribly wrong in the other direction.
I feel bad for JT. Even if ppl might think that he wouldn't be successful without a tough father is hard to grow up in a environment like that.
My dad was very hard on me too and I do resent many things so I can relate to him.
The good thing is that he wants to raise his kid in a total opposite way! What a nice guy!
You can tell by Tatum demeanor he needed tough love now it make sense why Kobe his favorite player
His dad was my coach as well and we played for the same aau org I watched him grow up. His dad wasn’t as bad as they make him seem and I hate to see how he is treated in the media. His dad was a hard ass on all of us even if you didn’t play for him he was tough but it’s cause he wanted to make people better. They pushing this fatherless narrative and his dad was always there
People dont understand how hard it is to be a father /athlete and to raise an athletic son. As the the Father/athlete you already know what it takes to be at a certain level an you are trying so hard to give your son these lessons and teachings and it becomes hard to separate the athletic teachings and the fatherly teachings
Seems like tough love he still loved JT but was so tunnel vision on seeing him succeed, he made him feel like shit more than he lifted him up . Glad he's being a great father breaking the cycle his last 2 generations or maybe more have repeated
This was very sad to hear :/
Now it makes sense why him and his son are so close
Gotta love JT
Graham, Joe frm complex and dude frm Hot Ones does the best interviews 👌
jayson, i have these same feelings and i live with the guy, like, does my dad even love me, we only talk when it’s about sports, that’s it, we didn’t even talk about the bucs and ravens game 😔
We needed him last year in the Finals!!!
Exactly. His dad needed to throw the bal at his ass when they quit after game 4
I love Jt man his dad was tough on him sure but in return it made him a monster I see why he’s so close to deuce now
In the sports community I see this happen alot growing up where the father and son going to all the tournaments and workouts being hard on them at the same time. At the end of the day it's for the good in most cases
Wow that sounds rough Jason .. Glad you are doing well now🙌🏽
He basically went through a form of child abuse. So sad. It made him who he is, but I know that having a loving and supportive father, he still could’ve went pro 😢
His father knew how to push his limits. I know a lot of people can’t handle that but look who Jason Tatum is today. He’s a superstar, but I also get that abuse can lease to mental health issues so that’s the downside to being too hard on kids.
You could say he went through the rough times as a child that prepared him for all this fame and success
I knew there was a back story to this kid they all have a story the greats and potential greats have stories that sums up there style of play and love for the game,Tatum is real conscious when he’s out on the floor Surveying the tempo to be exact so he could get to his spots and kill from there but from my understanding and these stories (Even the one with Coach K)Tatum had his best results when someone questions his heart and love for the game he clearly takes it personal when somebody says he soft and that shit makes his game Unconscious when he’s feeling like that,When he learns how to switch that unconsciousness on Any time he wants then he officially in his prime he still think too much out there a prime Tatum is Gonna be a straight killer and the best scorer of his Era america
People are sleeping on Tatum hard. It's going to be funny when all the people praise the dude after shitting on him during the finals
What is wrong with these people saying his dad did his job? It's not a father's job to humiliate your child and possibly scar them for life and only be around when basketball is involved. Jason talked about how he had to get food from neighbors when he was hungry. Where was his dad then? Aren't they supposed to provide? This parenting technique is horrible. Yall who agree with his dad, I hope yall never have kids.
Yeah it is if most black had a dad like him we all be Successful
Jayson’s dad was mine. Got a baseball bat thrown at me and was then called a pussy right after. That coaching/parenting does not work. I will have psychological damage for the rest of my life bc of the way he treated me, and just hearing Tatum speak shows that he continually deals with his trauma to this day, too.
Jayson is incredibly accomplished, but I can guarantee u he would’ve been just as accomplished without the emotional abuse. He’s got way too much talent, skill, and intellect. His dad didn’t need to do this shit
He wanted his son to be the greatest, to do everything he didn't, to accomplish everything that he couldnt, to live a better life than he did. It's no excuse for his treatment, and we don't like how he did it & it might have ultimately ruined his relationship with son...but in his dad's eyes it worked because look at him now. Unless you intentionally learn how to stop the cycle, you will only show love in the ways its been given to you, which is what it looks like his father did with him, but Jayson Tatum is making an intentional effort to break that cycle & be a better dad to his son, not everyone is strong enough to do that. Kudos to him👏🏼👏🏼❤
Love y0u guy
Love to
See you play Ball
Betty chicago
My father was the same and I love him even more now than before … it’s hard raising a black man in a world that made for him to be mediocre especially as a father that wants his son to succeed …
My mother was on drugs as a baby i was adopted by my grandmother…my father was alive and id see him once every blue moon where he’d give me $40…my mother would visit similarly(shes been clean for aslong as ive been alive) but long story short my gma raised me….i grew up and im 35 now but that crazy thing is i grew up not being able call someone mom or dad !!!! That eats at me alot as an adult. I feel cheated out of something.
Even though a parent might be very tuff on his kids, but a son must always be polite towards his parents.
It is pointless to ask these questions.
I get trying to push your son to be better but his dad took it too far.
This was heart warming.
Amazing mother and father figure.
Over the top or not he helped him become an elite NBA athlete
The end doesn’t always justify the means, it could have made him a more competitive basketball player but there is a lot of second and third order effects that likely had on him due to having that done to him by his father!
My dad was kinda the same way but not having a room at his new house cut me deep... I never said anything about it, I'm 35 now n I still don't understand that sht
The title is deep.
Yo how tf is this interviewer getting this information?😂😂
My gosh this was so sad to hear. Sorry Jason 😞
dudes a role model
Hey Graham, any chance of you interviewing his father - Justin, and we get to hear his side of things as well?
Damn so he really lived out his youth like He Got Game
Like he said "its what he needed to get to that point" bros a baller
@@jon8004 ill take short term humiliation over life long mediocrity.
nothing about jaysons dad suggests a bad character. in their situation it seems there were simply high expectations of jayson and zero tolerance for mediocrity.
The reality is jayson has turned out a great guy and a great player. all things considered, I can say his parents did a great job. this is obviously in context of the low level of parenting is tatums general culture.
@@andynosretep007 right !! Like jayson says himself. He had no other backup plan. It was be in the NBA, or nothing.
@@jon8004 you soft asf
@@andynosretep007 Getting humiliated by your parent and getting called a bitch isn’t something you should take. Ain’t wrong with tough love, but calling your son a bitch and humiliating him and making him cry because he played bad in a basketball game ain’t it. I get his dad being hard on him and wanting Jayson to be better, but there are other ways to uplift him than humiliating him and calling him a bitch.
Mr Tatum the og TOP G
This is sad….smh! I understand wanting the best for your kids and pushing them but it sounds like his father went overboard. 💯
You should know better than that this young man is great and that's why Jason is a good dad he is going to be okay and his dad just a little hard but he will be fine and his son will be with him being his grandfather if it's ok with Jason he's a great father that's what need in this world today PERIOD
Dad had bad relationship but look what "work" worked out to be.double edge sword
The way your raising DEUCE is amazing.
His dad had that mamba mentality lmao
A lot of people are making it seem like JTs dad wasn’t a good father. Nobody is perfect, and he didn’t have an example to pull from. He was present daily to raise his son, who grew up to be an intelligent, well-spoken, successful young man.
you guys should call this segment "Spilled Milk"