Homeschool advice that sounds good, but is not that helpful
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- čas přidán 15. 04. 2024
- We have all heard of this well-meaning advice given to moms that sounds great on the surface, but when we actually think about it and have to apply it to our lives, it usually leaves us scratching our heads and thinking, "Hmmm, I'm not sure sure about that!" Other advice is just not actually advice at all, but merely platitudes with no real explanation or application. This is some of the advice I hear that sounds great, but does not resonate. What is some of the advice you here over and over that seems helpful, but it's really not so much?
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homeschool mom, homeschool tips, homeschool advice, mom advice, SAHM advice, homeschool mom advice, homeschool mom tips
"Just read to them and then they will learn how to read". Ma'am, I have been reading my kids 5-10 books per day since they were born and it did NOT teach them how to read. They needed explicit instruction.
Ooh I’ve never heard that one…yes most kids don’t learn to read by osmosis 😅😂
“No academics until 6.”
Okay, but if my four year old is teaching herself to write her name and working on a kindergarten math book for fun, I’m not gonna snatch the pencil from her hand. 🤷🏼♀️
Absolutely!
Gosh, yes. If I waited another year to start my son he would be bored out of his mind.
Soooo true to all of this. Totally agree about the whole “let the house go.” That one drives me nuts!! I need a sense of order and I think my kids do too. I think it’s good for them to see that I prioritize keeping our home clean, as long as homeschool also gets done
Yes a lot of times that gets put to shame (which is a shame) and “letting things go” gets placed on a pedestal. Neither is necessarily the right answer for EVERY family. Finding what works for you and your family is key!
Great video! I'll tackle the first one. My oldest is 20. I wish I knew then what I know now. He was extraordinarily busy as a toddler and preschooler, constantly dumping things out, smashing things, making messes, Pulling things out of cupboards when I would go to use the bathroom, looking for constant stimulation. He would have injured himself hundreds of times if I wasn't constantly watching him and following after him and being a helicopter parent which honestly I never expected to be. He put literally everything in his mouth up until the age of 5 including things like dog poop and beatles. It was so exhausting physically and mentally. I was the one who needed to hear Don't worry about the cleanliness of your house. I just had no time and energy for things like mopping and deep cleaning the kitchen. My top priority was keeping him safe and Keeping my sanity. When he was 6, along came my easiest daughter, who just sat and watched everything and was content 24/7 sleeping through the night at 3 weeks old. With a child like that I had time to clean the house and home school and do all the things. So I think that advice is meant to help Parents who have challenging situations and cannot do the cleaning or afford to hire someone to do it.
I was kinda thinking about this while watching. I like the idea of having a neat and tidy house but that just isn't possible in our situation (multiple kids with ADHD who are largely not safe to be left alone). My kids can, and do, make messes faster than I can clean them, and involving them in cleanup is a constant daily battle that sucks the life out of me. I don't like it but I've just had to accept that a trade off to homeschooling is lowering my standards when it comes to the state of my house and yard.
@@ginagiberti9283 Well said. I completely agree. Not only do we live in our house 24/7, we homeschool here and we're making messes and trying to clean them up regularly. my husband runs a home based business. I can mop the floor and 10 minutes later something will be spilled on it LOL. I'm so grateful that my peace of mind doesn't depend on my circumstances but on God's grace.
No I totally understand that! I do get it! But it’s when the statement is made that it’s a total given that naturally everyone should just let the house go in order to homeschool. Please hear me, I’m not saying you have to do always keep up with your house…I’m really not ❤️ I tried to be as clear as I could but maybe it didn’t come out that way 🤦🏻♀️
it’s just when you hear over and over about letting the dishes and laundry go in order to be present with your kids, and you take that advice but then things pile up. then when you do clean, you feel guilty about it because those voices telling you to spend time with the kids. Sometimes it feels like a lose/lose.
We all have to do what works best for us. And some people are ok with letting things go and others aren’t. Neither is bad. Neither is better than the other. But if you realize you fall into one of those categories, it can make life smoother.
That’s great that you’re able to do that (truly!!), but remember, not everyone is. It’s through God’s grace you have peace of mind in that area. We all have our own struggles and it doesn’t mean we’re not relying on God and offering it up to Him ☺️
@@thepracticalhomeschooler Thanks for explaining further. That makes sense. You're right, we each have to figure out what works for us. No one can do it all. We need the Holy spirit's leading to know what to prioritize. And sometimes we are in no win situations. The seasons of life are temporary. Thankfully the Lord is with us to help us in our time of need.
One thing I heard recently that made a lot of people angry is this mom says she doesn't play with her kids. She'll read to them, play board games, puzzles, science experiments, baking, walks outside etc etc but playing is off with the siblings or off on their own not with mom. Mom uses that play time to cook dinner, clean, laundry etc. So many people insist her children will feel neglected because she doesn't pretend play with her kids.
Unless we give up sleep when will dinner etc get done if we don't have them go off and play on their own?
Goodness 🥵 how did any of us survive 😂 I can’t recall any 90s kids (or generations before) parents playing that much! Board games and puzzles and walks and all that sounds great!!
My husband and I talk about this all the time. Neither of us remember our parents ever playing with us (I mean I'm sure they did but definitely not enough for us to actually remember it), and both of us had perfectly fine, healthy childhoods. Our current culture is just totally off the rails when it comes to parenting, IMO. Not to mention that so much research has been done that says kids NEED independent play, and often.
I've also heard that this is a very American view of what we should be doing with our kids. It has helped me to know that there are billions of children around the world who don't have mom play with them every minute of the day, yet they turn our wonderful. Although, I would consider what this mom does as play with them.
A few things that bother me are:
If something is hard or your child complains, they aren’t ready. Give them more time. (Especially in relation to reading. That can be the case but typically isn’t.)
The other is to not have much of a schedule or routine - that going with the flow is one of the joys of homeschool. No one in my family does well with this. We all thrive off of structure.
Yes to those too!
“ Foster the love of learning” 😂😂 yes! I can’t stand this because ummm hello how is this done? This makes me feel so guilty because I don’t t see this LOVE for the core subjects that’s ever one seems to have
Not alone!
I can so relate to what you have discussed. I think so many "sayings" come from a good intention, but we know real life doesn't always work that way.
Mine would be "just let them play" and "take a break". I was always like, okay, but what does that LOOK like? I need instructions. 😂
🤣😂
I definitely am with you on the clean house. My house is far from immaculate but my stress/anxiety levels go through the roof when it’s in utter chaos. But my friends who don’t experience this can make me feel kinda guilty. One thing I can never understand that I hear all.the.time. In homeschool community is that you don’t have to finish your books. You can still move up to the next grade without finishing.. we never finished our books in school.. I don’t know what crazy school I went to but we did complete all our books! And I understand skipping review problems if your child has it mastered it but to just not finish the last couple chapters etc… like that’s in there for a reason I would think. My kids would miss out on learning important skills if we just skipped the last 20 lessons. Maybe other people have smarter kids that can pick it up easily the next year?? 🤷🏻♀️
I agree with this, we paid for the book, lessons & concepts are in there, we’re not wasting it.
My thing is, just find what works for you and if that means keeping your house in order and you find ways to do that, then go for it! But if it doesn’t bother you as much, that’s ok too! It’s not a competition and no guilt or shame should be on either side.
@@thepracticalhomeschooler for sure. I don’t care whatsoever if keeping a tidy home isn’t a priority for them. I just don’t function well in a mess.
@@tiffanywhite3251 I grew up on A beka and some CLE and we did finish everything. 🤷🏻♀️ and I didn’t have homework but school was fairly easy for me. Definitely not so much for my kids so very thankful to be homeschooling and be able to go at their pace!
@@thriftyminia exactly
Oh man, I absolutely love this video. The "letting the house go" is a big one. None of us have it all together. However. It *is* possible to keep our homes in order. Number one is getting rid of clutter. I cannot stress this enough! It was a total game changer for me. I think we all just have a tendency to make things so much harder than they actually are.
Keeping clutter down has been key for us!!
Yes to all of those, especially the last one! And “you need to take ‘school’ out of homeschool”! When did ‘school’ become a bad word?!
Yes!! Or “if your homeschool looks like school, you’re doing it wrong”
@thepracticalhomeschooler this is the one!!! I love to decorate my homeschool area like an actual classroom.
I like the top three things, but I use them as extra focus (not including devotions, making meals, taking care of kids), but more like I want to focus on this project, or deep clean, etc. Also, I can have such a long list that breaking it up into smaller priorities help me.
Yes that’s something I like to do too! Almost like the “given” things in a day and then the extras. Writing them down and seeing them helps too!
Thank you sharing! This is only my second year homeschooling and I have heard all of these many times, almost always without examples or further explanation. It’s not helpful.
Also, my oldest has special needs and I have heard others with kids with special needs make suggestions/given advice and it’s so unhelpful. We are on our own journey, and I’ve found that trusting my own mama instinct never fails me. I try my best never to give advice 😅
Great video! The advice I heard was you can homeschool anywhere and yes that might be true but as a military family anywhere…could literally be anywhere or during a move. Learning to establish a routine for our kids that have so much change around them already and having a place to do school in whatever “home” we are in has been a game changer.
Agreed! Finding a happy medium was so beneficial for me!
The problem with most advice is that those who are giving it have taken it from their own life experiences, things that happened to work for their family and then they throw it out there as if it's an end all be all answer for everyone. The truth is, none of us know what the heck we are doing 😂 And if we happened to find something that works in an area of our life, great! If someone asks for your opinion, you can offer those solutions as an option to them. But everyone and every family is so different! To assume one solution should work for absolutely everyone and then when it doesn't it's somehow that person's fault...just unnecessary guilt and stress. I would say, finding your own balance is key. There isn't always a quick fix. Listen to the experiences of others and implement things you think might work, and if it doesn't try something else! Don't stress over being different, even if others think you're crazy, which is sometimes easier said than done, of course. We are all always trying to figure it out. That's just life! But don't take my word for it 😉
Yes 🙌 let’s be friends 😄
Yes, THANK YOU!! I have believed these pieces of advice at so many different points. And it has made me nothing but confused. The one I hear a lot is "no formal academics before 6 years old." What am I supposed to do? Just sit here and say no while he's asking to learn? Your words were so wise and encouraging!! Thank you!
If they are asking, go for it! My 3 year old told me to “go away” when I tried to teach her the letters 😂😂 so I said duly noted and let it be. The next year she was begging to do school and have a book
My youngest daughter has been the same way. At age 3, she would beg and beg to do school like her two older siblings, so I gave in and ordered her curriculum, and she's still going strong. If I ever suggest that she skip math one day (because she's ahead) she absolutely refuses. 🤷 I think this is one example of going at their pace!
The "top three things a day" have always thrown me for a loop too! I'm still trying to figure out better ways of prioritizing that are more simple. I've started to say what are my top three focuses but yet have many things on my to-do list. However, I'm still working out The kinks and still finding my way. Thank you for the video. I think these are important clarifications since they confuse so many moms. Thank you! 💜💖
I’m still working out my kinks too 😫😅 always trying to tweak things. like all these years as a mom, you’d think you’d have it more figured out by now 😂 glad I’m not alone!
Great advice. Everything you said is relatable. Thank you.
My kids help me clean so we can have more play time together. The only thing that annoys me about homeschooling is the people who constantly think my kids need a pop quiz. I taught my kids to say, 'Sorry, I'm not here for that."
Listening while I clean the bathroom while my daughter works on math 😉
Thanks, definitely a visual person and knowing things that need to be done. Looking for balance.
Yes! I agree with you on all these. I actually hate “advice” from ppl unless I’m asking for help on something and then I take it with a grain of salt. We all have our own unique personalities and very unique families. So one’s treasured advice may just be someone else’s trash 😂😂😂
Someone actually told me that its abuse to allow your child to read at 3... im like my son is reading ... he likes it... doesn’t mean every child will read this age... but i mean the boy likes reading... what's the problem? 😅💁🏽♀️
Heavens 🙈🙈
Oh my goodness!! Thank you sooo much for this video!! I sometimes feel like a fish out of water because this is exactly how I think! And to be honest, I do sometimes feel like I'm doing things wrong for MAKING my kids do their work lol. To the point where I sometimes have to give myself a pep-talk about me HAVING to go to school even if I didn't WANT to or LIKE to and I turned out just fine and even graduated with honors. So, it is what it is. LOL! So again.....THANKS SO MUCH! I really needed to hear another homeschool mom having these same thoughts!
Again, I’m just supposing what actually means. But yes, my husband doesn’t want to get up and be out the door at 6:30 am every day to go to work. I sure don’t want to cook dinner every night. Life is full of things we don’t want to do…I always explain that (in love) to my kids.
@@thepracticalhomeschooler exactly! To me, that’s what’s important. To explain and teach and lead by example…..but most importantly, in love💖.
"I hope we aren't hearing voices in our heads" 🤣 Hahaha this was a great video. I hate getting vague advice as well. I hear these things so much I thought it was just me who didn't "get it". I used to feel horribly guilty when my kids didn't love every single subject. That I was failing. After several years of homeschooling I've begun to realize that's just not true, but this video was awesome. Thanks for keeping it real. 👍😂
It’s because you’re putting too much emphasis on academics and haven’t fostered a love of learning 😬 🤣
Loved this !! Totally agree 👍 ❤
Best video I have seen in a long time.
❤️❤️❤️
So I actually adhere to the "3 things per day", but I apply it as 3 things "in addition to" our daily routine and tasks. So for example, my morning routine includes bible reading, getting ready for the day, serving breakfast, and breakfast clean up. None of those thing are part of that 3. That is just a daily routine. I also have an evening routine. So my 3 priorities for the day might be 1. Laundry 2. Batch meal prep and 3. Vacuum, and those things would happen in addition to our regular routines and our homeschool checklist which is a daily routine.
Yes that makes sense!
Yes that makes sense!
I left a comment but it disappeared 😅... maybe its somewhere 😂anyways liked the video Lauren!
The advice I hear all the time that doesn't work is - pick circculum that works for your child not what works for you as a parent. While I do agree we should take into consideration our child's learning style, as the teacher we can't teach if the curriculum doesn't work for us as the teacher. Also in life, in jobs, in adulthood, we don't get to pick everything. We can't pick the computers work gives us as employees, we don't get to pick the job's policies, and even in college you don't get to pick everything that works for you. I think teaching a child to adapt, cope, and be flexible is what's important. Maybe your child hates to write so you cater to your child by picking a fun interactive language arts curriculum that teaches zero writing skills, it's a disservice to your child because they will have to write in life - emails, text messages, presentations, etc.
O no, it has to work for both the parent and the child, definitely! (Also, I love the real life examples you gave 😅 they’re so true!!)
I think what they mean with the heart issue and the relationship first is to not only discipline for the offense, but at some point say, "I noticed you're having a hard time doing... lately. Is there something we could do differently? Or say that you are praying for them and here if they want to talk. Sometimes giving an example from your own life helps, like how you set an alarm or ask others to pray, etc.
I get what you are saying though, on the surface it sounds likes they are raising entitled kids who are coddled. Like others said- balance.
There is so much curriculum out there now, plus writing or tweaking our own, makes it possible to learn basics and bring some enjoyment.
Sometimes I ask my kids, "Which one do you hate the least?" And we go with that. We don't quit math, but we may adjust or change curriculum because we can.
Yes agree. The curriculum HAS to work for me as the teacher!
I'm going to tell the family... sorry guys no dinner today 😂 literally laughed out loud
“Hopefully we are not hearing voices “
Lol I bet your fun to hang out with in person 😂
😅😅
hoarders 😂 … I understand what you mean that was funny …. But yes it bothers me too …I usually just clean everyday little by little 😊 I agree with all you said
I’ve never heard the choose 3 on the to do list today.
But my therapist did say to me, “ you have a lot on your plate. You have 6 baskets for each day, how will you choose to fill them. What will you prioritize?”
This was very helpful to me as we were and are still having medical problems. So between that having babies, schooling, cleaning cooking, my priorities begin with making sure we are fed and medications are given. Then goes onto making sure we bathe, then school, ect… if I didn’t get to my 5th or even 6 basket of the day, like making beds, washing the dishes that didn’t fit into the dishwasher I started, or even working out, that’s okay because they were the last baskets and weren’t crucial to get through the day.
However, most days striving to fill my 6 baskets is important to me. If one or two are left unfilled we have to be okay with life.
When other moms say just enjoy it goes so fast, I think to myself that’s so true, but I’m doing the best I can and enjoying the most I can.
I think I mostly am peeved by the moms who are choosing not to homeschool their children aren’t okay with us choosing to homeschool.
But also won’t stop comparing the two even through there’s nothing to compare because every school and child is different.
Also, today is one of those days we have only filled 5 baskets because it has been a rough one.
Which is why we only filled what was crucial for today and not any extras.
This also explains my lack of grammar in my last comment. 😴
Yes that is definitely helpful and probably more realistic to what real life looks like!
My soapbox: “your child can’t get behind.” This is an unpopular opinion but I’m here to tell you your child can get behind and will get behind if you don’t pay attention and continue to make progress consistently.
I have been homeschooling for 15 years and always come across the desperate mom with a high schooler that is behind in math and not ready to take a college entrance exam, or standardize test and want to attend college.
For certain things in life, there are some minimum requirements and if you don’t keep up, you will be left behind. I’ve seen it a lot. Don’t fall pray to that.
Yes 💯 that could be its own whole point in a video. We owe it to our children to allow them to graduate and at least have the option of college. And like it or not, they have to have things like algebra and geometry to do so. They shouldn’t have to be the ones “making it up” when they’re older. It’s the least we can do for their education.
I think that for cleaning there are always systems that can be set up so the house stays clean with minimal daily effort 😊
I’m STILL in the process of figuring that out haha always tweaking things here and there
@@thepracticalhomeschooler yes totally!!! And of course systems can change depending on life seasons. Some ideas from what I’ve tweaked over the years: no folding laundry, clothes go in a bin unfolded, children can fold their own if they want, but not necessary. One load of laundry a day - this works well for us since we don’t have a laundry room and we have just one space for one laundry basket, all the dirty clothes and towels go in at the end of the day, transferred to the dryer and then ready to sort and put away at the end of the day. I do my own laundry though, and it’s more like twice a week, but everyone else’s is done daily. One day for full house cleaning, I used the clean mama system but tweaked it so instead of doing one thing a day I delegated the jobs out to myself and my children and my husband and we do bathrooms, sweeping, mopping, garbages, sanitizing surfaces and vacuuming all in one day, so I’m in charge of our three bathrooms and while I’m doing that the rest of the house gets cleaned, it’s incredible. Of course we do things daily as well, but this weekly clean has really helped. Anyways, just some ideas! 😁
When my oldest was about to start kindergarten i had several people question me about our decision to homeschool our kids. I had someone “advice” me after i told them we are homeschooling not to let my kid ride the bus to school cuz buses are scary and even after saying well we are homeschooling it doesn’t matter cuz we are homeschooling for her to keep telling me not to use the bus.
What i have found interesting strangers have been more positive about us keeping our kids home for school than people i know.
We had our third baby in July and had people question if I could still teach my kids with a baby. Not much advice as much as a look like i am nuts. 😆
Absolutely loved this. Yes to all of it 😊❤