THE WORST MOVIE WE'VE EVER REVIEWED! | The Book Was Better: New Moon Review Part 1
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- čas přidán 23. 12. 2018
- In which Bella renders herself into a screaming basketcase over a 7-month long dry spell.
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DISCLAIMER: FAIR USE. Title 17, US Code (Sections 107-118 of the copyright law) All media in this video is used for the purpose of review and commentary under the terms of fair use. All footage, music and images used belong to their respective owners. - Zábava
Facts to remember : No one hates Twilight more than the cast of Twilight.
You'd think the fact that the movie's entire cast and probably crew as well hated it would convince Twilight's fans of how much both the books and films suck. But no they still come up with excuses like "No. They all loved it. They wouldn't have been in the film if they didn't." Because the Twitards naively believe that every actor and actress likes every film or TV series they're in even though they don't. Some play roles they hate for the money. The fangirls are also convinced actors have to like the things they're in just because they were in it. They don't.
Robert Pattison in a sentence
Is that really so? I imagine they made so much money and gained historic levels of notoriety from this that they might never have to work again. They should technically be filthy rich.
They can like the money they get off it but still hate the series itself. Most people would rather make money doing things they like than doing things they hate.
@@Xehanort10 Case and Point, Mark Hamill and the new Star Wars movies lol.
The best thing about this whole series is Anna Kendrick tweeting years later: " Holy shit. I just remembered I was in Twilight."
Actually, that's THE ONLY good thing.
Naty Cáceres Espíndola I dont know what a Anna Kendrick is but it sounds hot
She'd probably been trying to forget.
If one of the actresses FORGOT they filmed an entire movie that she was in, that’s either some strong drugs or a testament to how bad the movie is
and the fact, that noone hates it more than Robert Patinson himself.
Is Anna Kendrick the only actor from that series that has had a career afterwards? The other actors haven't done anything notable since then.
If my child was that depressed and obsessed with someone....I'd send them to a psychologist
Jasmine More like psychiatrists. You know, a doctor.
In the book (I liked the books as a dumb child) her dad tries and then we get some excellent mental health shaming! Ugh even sarcastically it still makes me a little angry...
Luna Wayne wow really?????? Wow
Pyro-Ice Queen so I actually went back and read the part, I will take back that it was shaming but she says that because they would think her story is delusional she would be “locked in a padded cell” and she legit refers to a psychologist as a shrink... which is like calling a lawyer a shark. It has suuuper negative connotations, considering that’s the go to word people use when trying to demean someone for getting help. “You’re seeing a Shrink?! Why?!”
Again it’s not that bad but as a child when I read that part I felt ashamed that I was in therapy.
@@havenstar7100 I'm assuming she is referring to the vampire thing but all she has to do is say her boyfriend left her. Trust me she won't end up in a padded cell with that vampire story. From personal experience i know therapists tend to be very open minded. Here is a somewhat recent example:
I had to have therapy after a suicide attempt where I overdosed on painkillers and sleeping pills two years ago and I'm still not sure why but ever since i have had hallucinations without schizophrenia being in my family. And when I told my therapist that my hallucinations
said I was the daughter of God,an Archangel, and Death itself she just said I probably had a TBI or traumatic brain injury that was result of the overdose since it put me in a coma for 36 hours. And I definitely didn't end up in a padded cell for saying that.
Also like... Jasper should go crazy every time a female classmate had her period...
Yes
Alice White bella is extra tasty tho if you remember
@@SquishtheGeneral adds a whole New World to the Phrase "eating her out"
Meyer actually clarified that because period Blood is dead blood they didn't care much for it
Well, no, because period blood has more than just blood in it - it has a lot of disgusting dead stuff like Uterean tissue that would actually smell horrendous to a vampire and most likely make them sick.
Stephanie Meyer, a published author: Fiction doesn't need research it's just fiction :)
Me, writing fanfiction for children's cartoons: spends hours researching crazy things that have probably gotten my name on an FBI watchlist to make sure im not misrepresenting something, like the right way to disarm a bomb or treat a stab wound
Peanut_Butter_Wizard research is important
I FEEL ALL OF Y'ALL PAIN ON A FRICKING SPIRITUAL LEVEL; I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL-
For real!! I’m writing fan fiction and I’m sure the FBI sees me searching something like how to build a weapon and go ‘aughh her again?’ (I’m writing a dark story with kidnapping and murders so)
Research is how I get inspiration
Total mood
To be fair... Bella Swan is bland and a shitty character. K. Stewart did a pretty good job of portraying that. She didn't have a lot to work with.
The actress was pretty good in Zathura too, playing a jerk teen sister. She had emotion and everything, I think she is a good actress!
I don't know why people use the Bella character to defend Stewart's bad acting. In literally every film she's in it's the same emotionless "I'm memorising the script and apparently can't react like a normal human being would to anything" performance.
やった-アリアナ she was kind of hot in Zathura...what the hell happened in Twilight?!
Yup... I wanted to throw the book when I want to understand the hype...
Xehanort10 But she’s not a bad actress tho. She just so happens to be in a lot of bad to mediocre movies. I was recently watching “The Runaways” on Netflix and she’s not bad in that movie, she wasn’t even bad in Charlie’s Angel’s despite the movie being mediocre.
Her friends are "1, 2, 3, and 4"?
I've gotta disagree with you here, Krimson. I personally called them "1, 2, 3, and Anna Kendrick."
Anna Kendrick's character was so bland, she genuinely forgot she was in this movie. Her character remains Friend #4
@@genevievegreso2127 But we at least remember it's Anna Kendrick.
@Ashton Greso. Since her character was "Friend of a person who in real life would have no friends" I'm not surprised she forgot.
@Madalin Grama well since Kristen and Melissa are both smoking hot, I'd tend to disagree.
I think it should be 1, 2, 3 and the only one people care about
The reason Edward can't hear Bella's thoughts is because she's such a plain character she doesn't have anything to be heard.
Meyer was a genius.
/s
i don't know if you are being sarcastic or not but Meyer herself said that the reason why Edward can't hear Bella's thoughts is that Bella is a very private person who keeps her thoughts mostly to herself and doesn't share too much about herself. For that reason, Edward has a hard time reading her and cannot access her thoughts
@@ep6983 Which is... kinda stupid ngl
@@ep6983 wait, so does that mean that everyone else is thinking about themselves on a regular basis? Aren't we all thinking on a regular basis, like how to handle a problem or what to wear for a day?
@@infernalsquid a lot of things in the twilight world don’t make sense in the first place. Even Robert Pattinson said it himself in an interview for one of the later movies
@@jacindaellison3363 i didn’t exactly understand your question but I would yes, we all think on a daily basis and Edward being able to read minds could hear those things, but from what I read on Meyer’s blog, Edward can’t look into Bella’s thoughts because that is a very private place for her. She internalizes a lot of the problems happening in her life rather than sharing them and tries to deal with them on her own. That’s where that whole “shield” concept comes into play I guess. I only watched the movies and didn’t read the books so I’m not fully equipped with the knowledge that a person who read the books would have on this.
The best thing about the Twilight Series: Robert Pattinson hated the movie just as much we did.
TrashPanda 3000 and that Anna Kendrick forgot that she was even in it
And now he's Batman. Hopefully he won't have to end up hating that as well.
i mean, they have some very good actors ( michael sheen is great in good omens, the perfect aziraphale) and still with that the characters and the movie suck and that can only be because the book sucks too and there was no way of fixing that XD
So did the majority of the cast, Robert Pattinson was just the most vocal about his hatred of it.
Im glad Pattinson got some great roles in some great movies like the lighthouse and batman
You know, that's kind of wasted potential for world building? With aluminum mirrors and digital cameras some vampires might be DELIGHTED they can see themselves again.
I'm getting the mental image of a few vampires screeching upon seeing their reflection.
Hahaha, I bet. If I ever saw a gorgeous pale person screeching at their reflection its either their a vampire or just shook.
And they can get a decent shafe agien.
@@bookishnewt8468 "why did none of you told me before my haircut looked so bad ???!!!" " omg, is this how i've been applying my make up all this time? i look like a friking clown!!"
True facts: after my brother was murdered, I sent emails to him for about 2 years. His inbox became full and would reject them but I still wrote and wrote these emails, saying way more than I had said to him in the few years before he died. I would call his number and leave these long, tearful, rambling voice mails. To be fair, I knew my brother for 21 years and we'd spent a bunch of those living in the same house, so maybe it comes off as *slightly* less deranged in my case. Still, grief can make you do some crazy things, and I did 'em, so that part of the movie doesn't seem too weird to me. The rest of her behavior is straight up wack, though. In other news, this is a fine video and I can't wait to watch the other two.
The difference is that was your brother who you knew and loved your whole life. Bella becomes completely, psychotically obsessed with Edward, a guy she's only known for a month if that.
@@Xehanort10 he also wasn't dead which makes a bit of a difference
I am truly sorry about your brother and I hope you have a great day.
I know how you feel, I just talk to my sister who's been dead for 19 years like she can actually hear me.
@@rollingon5566 I talk to a painting of my great grandparents at times. Also sorry to hear about your sister.
Being extremely depressed, with night terrors, trying desperately to contact your ex and his family for 7 months after a break up, is disturbing. Its not sad or heartbreaking or darkly romantic
It's the tell-tale signs of an unstable person ready to snap
If Bella was a guy or just in a different story she'd be the main antagonist in a horror/thriller novel or movie where she's stalks her ex and plans on torturing him to make him "love her again"
And frankly I'd rather be watching that then these pieces of wood trying to be sad for 2 hours
A year late
But
That would be an interesting concept.
A young woman falls obsessively in love with a vampire. He eventually leaves her when she's hurt because of him.
She falls in a depressive state and ends searching for other vampires. Either to end her life and her suffering or turn her into one so he can return to her.
It can become an interesting thriller with a supernatural twist.
@@antheathetiefling8581 Yeah. No one is the helpless victim here either, making it more interesting; you don’t know whose safety you should worry more for.
In New Moon, Bella thinks that if Alice turns her then she can follow Edward anywhere and "won't let him be distracted". This is while she still thinks Edward doesn't want her. Yes, I completely buy the creepy ex-stalker horror story 💀
More like an extra in a psych ward
The email thing could have been a really good storytelling device. if they had changed one small but crucial thing about it: Don't have keep sending the emails. Say Bella sent one or two emails, it's clear they weren't getting through, but she realizes that writing them and getting her feelings out in some way was helping her deal with Edward leaving. So she keeps writing, but letters are addressed to directly Edward now, and she doesn't actually send them anywhere. She just keeps them on her hard drive after writing them, or even deletes them. Now, instead of being the desperate acts of a fucking lunatic, the letters are her own form of therapy and are helping her move on.
But then again, that would paint Bella as a character capable of intelligent or rational thought, and we can't have that shit.
Brilliant!
No, but it actually made sense. One time after loosing contact with a friend, I kept spamming them with stupid e-mails even though that person apparently ignored me. It's kind of how people act when the desperately want to reach out to someone. Given how obsessed she was with Edward and their sudden break-up, it's understandable. I mean we have all done worse things after brake-up's
... so you mean it'd paint her as... well... a character? :P
Oh my god. The anti-fans of twilight can write better stories.
How sacrilegious.
I have something to say in defence of Jasper. I read it online somewhere, don't know if it's canon or not, but it makes a lot of sence. Jasper is an empath, which means he can feel other people's emotions, like pain and joy etc. Well he probably feels thirst too then, right? So when Bella cuts her finger, he's not feeling only his thirst, but six other vampires' as well, one of whom (Edward) feels a multiplied attraction to her blood. And since Edward is standing right next to Bella, I think it's his bloodlust that sets off Jasper, because Jasper has neither the practice (he never gets to spend any time around her) nor the motivation (i.e. all consuming love-allegedly) to keep together, the way Edward has.
That is the most well thought out and reasoned theory regarding this series I've heard to date.
Hell, I might even go as far as to say... your theory is a better love story than Twilight. lol
@@JustinTK416 I'm hoping to make one just as well. Belle has partial access to a sheild against vampires abilities and once becoming a vamp she gets the full strength of her ability. She could be a decendent of a vamp which would give her the ability but really nothing else
That sounds too complicated for Meyer to have intended it- it must be a reaching fan theory. Not a bad one, I must say, but I'll discount it because fans shouldn't have to fill the gaps of where the narrative fails.
What do you know, an explanation that is crazy yet logical.
Actually.... that makes a lot of sense. It also explains how can he somehow maintain a semblance of composture around humans at school, he isnt usually alongside the rest of the Cullens for his empath powers to amplify his bloodlust so he can rein them in better
You know, her nightmares could have been so easily explained. In the previous movie/book she was nearly killed by James (that was the name of the evil vampire right? Everyone in this series is just so bland and forgettable that I have trouble remembering all their names sometimes) so she could’ve had some lingering trauma from that. However, the nightmares only start after Edward leaves because prior to that she felt safe knowing that he and the Cullens were around and would protect her. Now that they’re gone, if another vampire showed up, eager to chow down on her, there would be no one who could stand up to the supernatural strength of a vampire (since she doesn’t know about the existence of the werewolves at this point). It would’ve made her seem less like a dependent basketcase and more like a sympathetic character with plausible reasons for her behaviour. Obviously this series is too dumb to ever come up with anything resembling sense but even so it still baffles me how it manages to miss even the simplest fixes
It sort of does that, but since this is a romance story it feels like everything needs to tie back to that.
Honestly I just watched the movies and it made sense to me. You know that she was dealing with her experience well as long as she had some connection the vampire world, but got full blown PTSD after they left. I mean it's not only fear. She also had nobody to talk to about all the crazy vampire stuff.
TheOrchestra IsDead that makes more sense
The way the book described it, I took at as her having nightmares and reliving looking for Edward in the woods after he left her.
It’s not too uncommon to have nightmares when you’re heartbroken. It happened to me, although I never woke up screaming. But it could happen, who knows
I would have preferred if Bella didn't fancy Edward at first, just a friend, but the hallucinations in his absense make her even more fond of him.
Of course, that would mean they don't love each-other at first, but least that would be much more believable.
10:23 Nooo.. The real Tragedy of Romeo and Juliette is how many ppl didn't get the point of the play which you just explained
My theory is that the tragedy being referenced in this work isn't the work directly quoted, but another work that quotes the source material.
4:40
This phrase is used throughout Westworld. Just as the hosts go through loops that roll back their potential to grow and learn from bad experiences, Bella goes through similarly repetitive loops.
19:19
What Bella says about the loss of the Cullens, about the pain being all she has left, is a clear allusion to something a character from Westwrold said.
Bella is a host confirmed.
Romeo and Juliette is a comedy that no one gets and you can't change my mind
The real tragedy of Romeo and Juliet is no one remembers that Romeo is like thirty and Juliet still a teen
@@howdyhowdyhelga no they are 18 and 13 (or something ridiculously young like that)
@@Andjelka99 As though that's still anywhere near an acceptable age difference?
This is our Christmas gift, your pain.
Video:Do you know what doesn't have souls
Me:GINGERS
Video:Every inanimate object in your house
Me:oh
Video:And gingers
Me:yasss
Great video as always man. Fun fact, in the DVD commentary for this film the director claims the reason why the intro title card is so long is because he figured most of the audience in theatres would be screaming and crying at the beginning. Therefore he wanted them to get it out of their systems for when the proper opening could be done. It's laughable.
Interesting factoid. Thanks for that.
you mean as in screaming in anguish because they were dragged into this movie
Screaming in eternal damnation as their souls got sucked out of their bodies
Here’s a good question for the director: why would anyone in the audience by screaming and crying at the beginning when nothing has happened? The only reason anyone who would be is those who were forced to watch it and are agonizing at the slow opening, which seems to go directly against the director
I actually watched this film in theatres. THEY WERE SCREAMING BLOODY MURDER! so yeah he was right. A friend dragged me.
To be fair, something that I think neither the book nor movie addresses about Jasper being an empath, is that bloodlust would be an emotion that he would be able to feel, but why would you expect a book like Twilight to explain shit.
Kwynnie yeeeeeessssss!!! I’m so glad someone else got that too!
You see there is a logical explanation how new moon made that much money....
.......... I'll get back to you when I find it.
soccer moms,teenage girls and some ungodly third demographic watched this film multiple times in such large hordes. The forces of chaos from war hammer would blush.Best one i've found so far.
Abs. *Abs* .
Tweens and teenagers. You can go home now. lol
@• Yune • and teenage gay boys, my bestfriend made me go to the cinema to watch this for his birthday ( spoiler: i feel asleep halfway and woke up right for the end when everyone started to scream because edward went out shirtless)
Its easy actually. Market exploiting and knowing what the masses wants. Its a typical buissness stuff but... its not really good
"The Worst Movie We've Ever Reviewed", or as Homer Simpson would respond to the title, "The Worst Movie You've Reviewed So Far." :) Merry Christmas. LOL
Yeah, he still has to review "Eclipse" and "Breaking Dawn". XD
are we going to make him review "Fifty Shades"?
He has done that:)
Silja Bogensberger And put at the end of the review they will never review of the sequel (and i assume by extension the “finale”)
I'm so glad that Robert Pattinson went on to do indie films that are masterpieces. He deserves to show his talents in works such as The Lighthouse and Cosmopolis, not hide them for a fat paycheck in teeny bopper bait.
So it has begun. I feel a little conflicted now; On the one hand, I kinda agree with what Alucard said in the last episode of Helsing Ultimate Abridged, about how "hating books for horny teenagers was dumb then, and it's dumb now." But on the other hand, it is damn fun to watch people riff on it. I've even got one of my own for the last part: "I CAN SEE THE FU-TUUURE! I HAVE TO STOP YOU FROM KILLING MY FRIENDS! IN THE FUTUUURE!"
How is criticsim dumb?
People not hating on it for the reasons it should be hated on for
what's that episode from Helsing called?
wasn't abridged alucard's first lines a twilight joke?
angrybrony a real fucking vampire
I choose to believe that the reason Jasper went all crazy in that scene was because he was hit with everyone’s bloodlust all at once (he’s an empath so he probably constantly feels everyone’s hunger/thirst among other emotions) which would mean, especially in a place with hardly any other source of emotions to distract him from the hunger/thirst, that he wouldn’t have been able to brace himself for those feelings to so suddenly surround him. After all Carlisle is the only one who’s able to actually stay in the room with Bella for any length of time whilst she was bleeding.
Dunno just a thought (since I kind of like Jasper)
Its the most sensible theory you can find, but its still so fucking dumb. They had a blood drive at school, like come on
I was in the demographic when the movies came out and I was a fan. Now I'm 20 and grew out of the series shortly after the last movie came out and these reviews CRACK ME UP. I despise the series and ended up selling all of my movies and books over the years. New Moon was easily the worst book ever and I love that you hate it as much as I do.
Fun story about this movie. After having tried to get through the first book and giving up, I dropped the series. Wasn't even on the mocking train really, just wanted it to go away. Then, as this movie came out, I ended up going to see it with this guy (who it turns out was sweet on me, I just thought we were friends), and he wanted to go see New Moon. And well.. I obliged cause he went with me to a movie that I wanted to see. Turns out, that he didn't really wanna see it, he just thougth that I wanted to see it, cause girls love twilight. I was spending the movie either bored out of my skull or stifling chuckles in my sleeve cause something caugt me off guard. (I was aware that they sparkled just not.. what it looked like) To this day, it's still the only Twilight movie I've ever seen.
Merry Christmas, love hearing him critique this series.
I say let's have some alcohol in honor of Krimson reviewing the second installment of the Twilight franchise
Remember when vampires were unholy creatures of the night to be feared....
Pepperidge Farm remembers
Your pain is our entertainment.
“It reads like Meyer didn’t hire an editor.”
Ah, but Krimson, that would imply that she hired an editor in the first place. X3
I think this movie, if completely isolated from the rest of the series and if created by an actually competent writer, could have been salvageable.
Here's a new take on the story.
.
Bella is fully recognized by the author as a delusional, unstable, manipulative character. The story starts with her and Edward's relationship having already started and she's just beginning to learn about vampires. Bella becomes too invested in learning more and obsessively spending every waking moment with him. Edward finds this annoying and unattractive, so he decides to get away from her. In response, Bella loses her little mind and goes through the separation anxiety shown in this movie, but even more so in a way that amplifies how unstable and psychotic she is. She has nightmares, feels empty for months, she hallucinates about him which she dedicates herself to becoming an adrenaline junkie to hallucinate even more.
.
She then gets involved with Jacob, since I think they had some decent chemistry in this movie, and their relationship plays out in pretty much the same way. They should support each other,, talk about their problems with possible solutions, have a good friendship to build off of, and include humor. I think the movie's example of Bella bringing the motorcycles to Jacob was a good situation to build character with. But Bella is still stringing Jacob along, which should be acknowledged by the screenwriter, and still chases any opportunity she gets to hallucinate Edward, all while manipulating Jacob to stay with her. I think Bella, in the right creator's hands, could have made a cool Shakespearean villain. Not the average teenage girl, but someone who naturally draws people in only to lie, whine, and dollface her way into making them do whatever she wants.
.
The movie ends with Bella running into Edward in a public place almost a year after they broke up. She clings right back to him like a moth to a Fenway Park stadium light, trashing her progress with Jacob and creeping Edward out like a normal guy would react to this freak show.
Bella ends up with nobody and finds out THE BIG TWIST... she was never actually dating Edward to begin with! She was just so bonkers that her "relationship" with Edward was all in her head and they were complete strangers. So now that Edward and Jacob have met, they hook up and fall in love with each other, bringing the warring families of werewolves and vampires together and Bella clumsily trips into a wood chipper.
The end.
Hella late but like-
I want to read this.
Movie would be great but ... the ending is pretty bad .
@Noah Thompson Seems more like an idea for a dark comedy film. Which would have been better than what we got.
@@noahthompson2912 I changed that part of my comment up a bit! I was going for more comedy before, this new ending suits the concept better though. Although I'm not taking that idea seriously at all, it's fun to think of how this movie could have been just a teeny tiny bit less terrible.
@@noahthompson2912 What was the original ending?
I’ve been struggling with depression since my teen years and it’s worse during winter. That said, even I’m more cheerful than Bella and my depression wasn’t a result of a relationship. It was from bullying. God, Bella is more dependent than a baby.
Another thing to point out about Romeo and Juliet is that, when we're first introduced to Romeo, he is moping about Rosaline not reciprocating his affections for her. And, when he goes to the Capulet gathering and see Juliet: he immediately becomes infatuated with her instead, marries her the next day, gets into a sword fight where he kills a man, and cries like a little bitch when the consequences of his actions that he never thought about are going to bite him in the ass. And, not a single moment we spend with him afterwards has him engaging in self-reflection and every action he takes is done on impulse with no thought put into it whatsoever. It's not a story about love so much as it is one about lust.
Eh, didn't Romeo fight because his best friend was MURDERED???
I was kinda on his side there.
I guess making a lawsuit would have been better, but then Romeo might've been forced to reveal his marriage to Juliet when lawyers asked him what he was doing at the time of his friend's murder.
Sadly, I was one those teens that read the entire series and watched all of the movies. I feel like the best part of the books was when you learn about Rosalie’s backstory. The movies soundtrack was good, Bella’s dad was the best character, and it did bring vampires back into the main stream (though not the type of vampires that are cool like Interview with a Vampire). Kristin Stewart went on to be in better films which is good. That’s all I got.
I read them as well, though I read them after the craze about them, I wanted to know if they were as bad as people said.
They weren't, I low-key enjoyed them at points, and they got me into reading book series longer than trilogies, which was neat.
Eh, we all like things when we're teens that we kind of cringe at as adults.
I was a die hard Creepypasta fan. Hell, I BOUGHT the Jeff the Killer novel-ish thing off iTunes.
I paid money for that shit! Then I tried to write serious fanfics about the kinda meme-ish Creepypasta monsterverse.
Although I guess they're actually not all bad, it was the more-meme-than-scary ones that I got excited about.
I can at least say my favorite was the Rake though, and I think there were one or two actually good stories about that one.
Honestly, the books aren't that bad. The hate is partially just what happens when something becomes disproportionately popular.
I have read books far worse than Twilight so I don't get why people say it's the worst thing to happen to literature.
@@lexa2310 Another youtube made an interesting video about the hype around twilight. Lindsay Ellis, the video is called Dear stephenie meyer. Really made me rethink my stance on twilight.
Hooooo boy...if you think THIS one is bad...well, you’re right. But oh dear god wait til you get to the last two.
When you mentioned the mirror and silver dilema, it showed that you’ve done much more research on vampires than Stephanie ever did 🤣
I read+analysed the first book, and here’s my results:
From the day on Bella knows (I mean, has seen)Edward, the book goes over a time span of 28 days. After 20 days of knowing each other, Bella and Edward decide that they’re *sooo in love* and on day 22, they go to meet E.’s family. Note that from These 20 days, they’ve been actually talking(and not just staring at each other)for about five days (no joke) and Bella is already aware of the fact that she is being stalked in her sleep. Then, still day 22, the tracker dude vampire shows up and the whole Cullen family decides they need to risk their lives for Edwards Girlfriend-since-a-day (wich is admittedly probably the right thing to do, but still).
Now I may be wrong, but isn’t that a bit fast(the whole thing)?
It actually takes them months to date from my understanding
I love to write fiction and your honest reviews helps me write characters that aren’t 2 dimensional and helps me to remember things to keep in mind whilst editing. Thanks
I love what Il Neige said in his review of this movie towards the lines that remind the audiences of the age gap between Edward & Bella.
"Well, either way, one of you is technically a pedophile, so let's just call it a wash."
I think that's this series in a nutshell. A teenage girl, who ages up to 18 before becoming a vampire herself, going out with an over 100-year-old vampire who's stuck in his 17-year-old body from when _he_ got turned in the early 20th century.
Weirdly enough in the first Twilight Jacob was only 15 but Bella came onto him at one point and then after he pointed out he was 15 she started fuming because he wasn't legal.
So when did people bring this up during Buffy’s long run? If it counts for Twilight, it counts for Buffy too.
@@Xehanort10 Huh. Must've been cut from the movie.
@@manicpixiefangirl4189 Don't know much about Buffy, but the 2 aren't that comparable outside of the age thing. Unless I'm mistaken, Buffy doesn't have insufferable characters or the fact that Edward's attraction to Bella is literally a drug to him. Execution is everything, so if Buffy had better writing & characters, which I've heard it does, then less people are gonna have a problem with it. Not saying you can't, but that's the thing about these situations.
People brought it up all the time when BTVS was on it's first run...usually when the BANGLE and SPUFFY people were arguing about who she was better off with. It was pointed out then (as it is now) that the first time Angel sees Buffy (and becomes obsessed with her) she's only 15 and he starts dating her when she's 16. They have sex on the night before her 17th birthday. I'll leave it there...
Can we take a moment to appreciate how good an actor Robert Pattinson has become.
14:18 Just thinking about Jasper's instability and the school he goes to... Don't wanna say it but... What happens when a girl has the monthly mother nature reminder?
Question: *"How come good budding authors can't get agents and publishers, but trash like Twilight, 50 Shades, and the Onionsion trilogy can?"*
well, onision didn't get a publisher, he self published.
What's even sad is that an awesome book series like Skulldugery Pleasant has'nt been turned into a movie.
Good question. There are sites on CZcams with wanna be best selling authors, telling other wannabe best sellers what TO do and NOT to do. They really need to address the issue of WHY trash novel series SELL so well.
There IS a theory about blood contracts and the prince of darkness if that helps make sense of this.
@@duncananderson2113 I would kill for an adaption of Darren Shan's demonata
@@colossaltitan3546 I haven't read that yet
The worst movie you have ever reviewed? Well krimson, that just seems like a challenge to me
Sadly most of you do not understand chinese because......
Wait repharasing that
FORTUNATELLY most of you do not know chinese. Because we got shit load of movies and tv series far worse than this.
The Volturi always gave me the impression of a discount version of the Ventrue from vamp the masquerade. The Volturi are not even as remotely intimidating as a organization.
I was in a relationship in highschool for a year and a half. I was like depressed for a month at best but Bella barely knew Edward and was depressed for *7 MONTHS STRAIGHT * ! That's the most unrealistic part to me
Lmao
"I'm screenshotting this and using it for my New Moon review. Thanks! :D"
I know one thing that New Moon and Romeo and Juliet have in common. Most people think that they’re love stories, but they are actually tragedies.
Maybe it's just me, but her behavior and major fears before and after Edward leaves feels more like she is terrified of getting old, dying and that her only possibility of not going through that just sleep between her fingers rather than being depressed about not being whit the man she loves.
13:18 it´s so cute that he thinks that stephenie meyers would research how photography is made, as she couldn´t be bothered to learn about vampire lore
WOW Bella is a raving lunatic.
I've heard some myths of vampires that can seduce humans, maybe Edward did that? or something?? Honestly I have no idea, I'm just grasping at straws because I don't want to admit how horrible this is.
Me drawing motorway intersections for fun:
Still a better love story than Twilight.
"Fetish material for a snail" had me laughing so hard 😂
A 3 part review; absolutely fabulous.
Thank you for such a funny Christmas present Krimson.
1:33 A Twilight fan alive? I thought those people were driven into extinction after the movies ended. What a rare and hilarious sight to behold.
Looks like it's time for a good ol' fashion PURGE! Grab your torches and pitchforks! XD
@@cartooncritique6625 I'll bring the holy water.
Sadly, I know people who like it. I gave them the book comparison from the first part for the first abomination, but they wouldn’t listen
Twilight fans tried their best to make people who didn't like it extinct that's for sure. Trying to kill innocent people for seeing that the supposed "great love story" of Edward and Bella was just obsessive lust. You had women leaving their real life boyfriends because they weren't obsessed stalkers and control freaks like the fictional Cullen. Robert Pattinson was stalked everywhere he went by demented fangirls who kept trying to force him to drink their blood because they're too detached from reality to realise that he was an actor playing the character of Edward. They thought Edward was real and that he actually was him.
"I'm going shopping tomorrow with Jessica"
"You hate..."
I was convinced he was about to say Jessica
Best present so far. Thank you for risking your sanity for us. We appreciate it.
Edward: the man of glitter.
Bella: The wooden swan
Jacob: what?
"Fetish materiel for snails"
I suddenly wonder why girls on their periods don't set vampires off.
Talking about Meyer not understanding Romeo & Juliet, during an exchange program in England, I wrote my final melodrama essay on melodramatic female stereotypes in the 21st century. One of the sub topics was YA novels, using Twilight as an example (mostly to rage about it). Imagine my immense shock when I discover in my research that a woman published an analysis comparing Twilight to JANE EYRE, arguably my FAVORITE English classic novel. Even worse, that bitch tries to used the comparison to argue in favor of Twilight and how "good" it actually is. Safe to say I saw red.
You think Meyer didn't understand Romeo & Juliet? It's like she read the sparknotes for Jane Eyre instead of it being one of her favorite novels like she claims! Writing the bare bones of a plain girl meeting and falling for a mysterious man with a secret in an isolated location means ABSOLUTELY NOTHING, LEAST OF ALL THAT FUCKING TWILIGHT IS AT THE SAME LEVEL OF JANE EYRE! I could really go on an hour long rant of this, going in length on how Jane was NOT a damsel in distress or let her life revolve around a man, or how Mr. Rochester, Edward's counterpart, while not handsome made up for it with a big personality and charisma, and many more things, but I don't want to.
Ps: I just realized upon second viewing that the song in the beginning was the title song of Love Never Dies that Christine Daae sings. I love that song, so thanks.
Totally agree. Meyers has absolutely no understanding of the works that she claims to love. To add onto that, Jane Austin, who is another author that Meyers claims to love, was a pretty revolutionary and progressive writer for her time. Her works often had some pretty interesting social commentary in them. For instance, Pride and Prejudice was a farce on the expectations of women at that time. It also showed how silly the upper class acted, only caring about their own wealth while the world burned around them. There's also a lot of sharp wit and sarcasm to her works. Same thing goes for a lot of other female writers for the time she claims to love like. Were any of these things added into the text of Twilight? Nope. It's a damn shame too. A lot of these writers she claims to love were pretty revolutionary for their times and their ideas still hold up to today. Twilight barely holds a candle to any of those works. Any of those turn of the century female writers works are a hundred times better then Twilight ever would be.
@@sorcerersapprentice Another thing is that Jane Eyre has survived the tests of time and still influences writers to this day, while Twilight was big for a few years and has been mostly wiped from the public conscious and only inspired hacks see el james and warm bodies for examples.
@@firemoonalice3117 That as well. Twilight was big for a few years and disappeared just as fast. Shows that if something is bad and quickly gains popularity, it will quickly fade. Novels that are more profound and memorable will stay popular and influence writers long after the writer is gone.
Tatiana Melendez I... haven’t read Jane Austin’s work but gosh comparing this to a classic English book is just..... unbelievable!😱
Literally _just_ came off a video explaining why Love Never Dies is garbage... garbage with some admittedly pretty great songs, though. Kinda like Sonic 2006.
Also to be fair at 16:40 we're shown a wolf's eyes/growls and later its established that the wolves leave shorts stashed around everywhere so him coming back half naked with that knowledge isnt as suspect but really her dad should of been a bit more worried
I was a teenage girl when the twilight epidemic started, it got so insane that when new moon came out in theatres my middle school actually took all of us students to go see it as a field trip. The most exciting part was when jacob took his shirt off after bella crashed the motorcycle and all of us girls screamed. Thats all i remember from watching that movie.
A teather room full of teenage girls wildly simping for Jacob sounds like hell
I didn't know silver was in old mirrors. Thanks for the fantasy lesson
I had an english teacher in highschool that had a twilight calendar in her classroom that she would oogle occasionally.
It was very uncomfortable because A. The characters are supposed to be teenagers, and she was a highschool english teacher. B. She was a highschool english teacher. You’d think she would have better taste.
The whole screaming in your sleep thing is more in line with having war time flash backs not because your boyfriend dumped you this happened when my dad came back from Vietnam
The Twilight series becomes so much worse (or better) when you look at it from the perspective of a Vampire: The Masquerade player. In Vampire, there are these things called ghouls who are basically mortals who've been fed vampire blood. Ghouls don't age as long as they're fed vampire blood and have some vampiric powers.
The problem with being a ghoul is that if you drink from a single vampire three times, you become obsessed with them, essentially falling in a twisted, one-sided love. Vampires use this to keep their servants in line. Here's what I'm getting at: what if Bella is Edward's ghoul?
This is a book I would buy
Holy shit, that’s BRILLIANT. Why did Stephanie Meyers miss this story opportunity?
Merry Christmas everyone! I'm enjoying Krimson's pain.
So do we :3
Also if that pasty old potato is seventeen then I'm legal to drink...
Rachel Friedl if you’re talking about Kristen Stewart, she literally was 17 while filming.
I think she means Edward.
He was 21 during filming
I notice that you have the Piano version of Suicide is Painless that happens to be the theme to M.A.S.H. You clever dog.
Points to the editor for that one.
Couldn't resist.
When was that playing?
I'd say it's too late to talk about Twilight, but it's become a meme again on tumblr recently, so you're right on time
As much as I love this early-2000’s revival that’s going on, I think this particular series is something we really should leave behind...
@@Dreigonix I think it’s now purely ironic since they’re making really funny memes about it like how Charlie is actually hotter than Edward and Jacob! Or they’re recreating iconic moments from it.
As someone who's read the entire Twilight quadrilogy and watched reviews to see multiple opinions on it and seen the post about how much better the story would have been if it followed Bella's dad I think the largest problem the series has is that very little actually happens in the story. Now if I liked these characters going on a long journey that's more about character than plot would be good. But since out of all of Twilight it appears that the least interesting story is Bella's that makes it terrible since so little happens. What there should have been is that Bella should have just an aura around her that turns off either control or supernatural abilities in general and that's what interests people. Not her blood but the thought that if she trained she could be probably the most dangerous vampire hunter any of them could encounter and could if she walked into any major city cause the sparkles effect. Have that be the vampire losing control over their ability to negate the sunlight and have it be that is essentially little parts of their skin catching fire. Suddenly in a major city Bella would be essentially an end of days situation for vampires and other vampires wanting her dead wouldn't be "Oh she smells so good." And instead "We have to deal with her or else there isn't going to be a secret world of vampires anymore."
Then make the creepy stalking be just Edward at first trying to figure out if she's actually some super skilled vampire hunter who's figured out every way to deal with them and have him stop and try to build a relationship with her from him realizing that she can't be after she almost gets killed by the car, him saving her only because he realized a skilled hunter wouldn't be in any danger but Bella looked like she was. Then you have a line that the books could have followed of trying to deal with both people wanting her dead to prevent an end of days scenario for vampire kind and finding out more about these kinds of abilities. A plot that isn't just a bunch of assholes being monsters to people would have saved me over 2000 pages worth of reading to figure out that no it's not cause of romance, people read them because they were horny.
Imagine having your period around Jasper. Also Bella was totally eyeing up Edward's dad.
YES YES BURN IT BURN THIS BOOK AND IT'S ENTIRE SERIES TO THE GROUND
Wow. That's good timing. Thanks, Krimson Rogue. But sorry that you have to deal with the suffering by reviewing the Twilight franchise again. Happy holidays
"Suicide is Painless" is a good touch in the background
Thank you, kind sir.
Merry Christmas Krimson....I hope the Eggnog’s spiked; you’re going to NEED IT, not just for THIS review...but also for all the 💩 that might crawl out in the year to come!!!
One good thing I can say that came from Twilight, is that Forks and Port Angeles got a heck of a lot of money from tourism, which both towns desperately needed.
"do you know what does show up in mirrors that don't have souls?"
Politicians?
"Literally every inanimate object" ...Yeah, those too I guess
"The Book Was Better"
Not according to what I've heard
When Edward said he envied Romeo because of the suicide, I feel like that wasn't Robert Pattinson acting...
Fun Fact! My hair stylist in Rome was tasked with styling Kristen Stewarts hair for all the scenes shot in Italy. He told me she was high as balls the whole time she was on set, and when she wasn't reading from the script she couldn't make a coherent sentence she was that stoned. That's probably why Bella acts like she's off her rocker this whole movie!
Why is it these books get mildly accurate adaptations but actual good books like Percy Jackson always drew the short straw.
Someone give this man hug.
Why does Bella has nightmares, anyway? What, does she relives the breakup and that somehow makes her wake up screaming? I know breakups are hard especially after your first serious relationship, but COME ON! She knew the guy for six months, that's hardly a reason to get catatonic for months! She acts like they were married for twenty years and he got eaten by cougars on their anniversary.
Would it make SO MUCH SENSE of having Bella's nightmares be about James, from the first movie, whom try to bite her back in last film instead?
It's seem like Stephanie Meyer somehow forget about her first book...? I mean, that woman should've never been a author, like... AT ALL!!!
Emmet is like, the only valid cullen
Hes just a himbo who died fighting a bear
Honestly I'm sure my first attempt at running Vampire the Masquerade is gonna be a better vampire story
1:37 I can not believe that in the year of our lord, 2018, there are STILL twi-hards out there.
The use of Suicide is Painless over the classroom scene made me smile.
Always great to see another M*A*S*H fan.
Hearing that opening line from the movie again, my first thought was Westworld and not Romeo and Juliet... Here is my library card. Tear it up at whenever you have the chance as I clearly no longer deserve it. Also, you do NOT have enough facial hair to justify trying such a sacred technique at 8:14! You hereby lose your facial hair privileges!
Sooooo S Meyer even ignored that Bella and Edward as a couple makes no sense as a Romeo and Juliet comparison because they’re not from warring families. But do you know who is? Edward and Jacob. They’re from warring factions in a century long feud. A romantic relationship between them would spark an all out war.
Perfect comparison
To bad Smeyer is a COWARD
Funnily enough the first episode of the 3rd season of Angel did Edward Cullen before Edward Cullen and much better. Angel stakes Elizabeth, a vampire he knew back when he was evil as Angelus and her boyfriend James seeks revenge on Angel but also thinks that if he doesn't commit suicide after that somehow means he didn't love her. It's portrayed as the obsession that it is with Angel even saying "It's not real unless it kills you? This your idea of love James?" It's contrasted with Angel grieving Buffy who died at the end of Buffy Season 5 and Cordelia points out to Angel that the fact that Angel keeps on living despite her death because he knows that's what she'd want is love as opposed to James wanting to kill himself to join Elizabeth which proved he was just obsessed with her and didn't actually love her.
Yes, those shows actually had competent writers...which is certainly more than I can say for the this dreaded saga.
Wouldn't beast be Edward before Edward.
That can be explained by the simple fact that Joss Whedon is a human being and not an alien pretending to be a human being. Unlike Stephanie Meyer.
@@metademetra That's made me realise that Stephanie Meyer and Tommy Wiseau would make a great couple since they're both clearly aliens playing at being human.
17:06 When the environment has more acting range than Kristen Steward.
Dude I’ll take batman v superman over twilight any day atleast it was watchable and there a few epic moments
hpsid yoda I love your pfp
You know in actual fact, Shakespeare wrote "Romeo and Juliet" as a spoof. The play that everyone treats as this huge romantic tragedy was intended to be a comedy about two stupid kids who thought they were in love and tried to play grown-up, but instead killed themselves because it turns out they're a couple of snowflakes that can't deal with the death of "loved" ones. Funny how this stupidity is inherited by the twilight franchise.
How do you know this?
@@LaineMann fuck you I know shit
@@LaineMann Actually I think my English teacher said something about Romeo and Juliet not meant to be taken seriously. But I was half asleep so...
Except Shakespeare did it far better.
Tom I thought it was a tragedy
Christmas eve, one day before my birthday and this comes out! Thank you and Merry Christmas to you Krimson! And I am truly sorry you have to watch this for our amusement. I'm also sorry to tell you the twilight series only gets worse from here!
I almost forgot how great the Romeo and Juliet anime soundtrack was 😀
Wait there was one?
Yep. There's an anime version of Romeo and Juliet. It....takes a few creative liberties but the music is amazing.
Bella makes the concious choice to actively do everything she can to NOT move on. The books would have been marginally better if she'd had some growth, made one decision to help herself at any point, done one small thing that wasn't centered around absent Edward. Anything!
Also: The difference between Romeo and Juliet being used in New Moon and Hello, Dolly! being used in WALL-E is that it actually has meaning in WALL-E as it gives the titular character his personality. The movie isn’t trying to make a connection between itself and Hello, Dolly!, it’s just that the character learns about love when watching the movie, which is the catalyst for the story.
"Gran had been dead for six years now, so that was solid evidence towards the dream theory"
*Hmm, yes. The floor here is made out of floor*