Second baby: 5 things I changed (and kept the same)
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- čas přidán 2. 06. 2024
- 5 things I do differently with my Second baby baby!
I don't have any regrets with my first baby because I learned A LOT. Plus, I had to go through it to fully accept and learn everything I did with my first.
However, there were a few things I wanted to do differently with my 2nd baby, and something I wanted to do exactly the same with my second child.
This is that list.
And here are a few other videos I mention:
Floor Bed Videos: • Montessori Videos HERE
Cloth Diapering Videos: • 5 natural ways to prep...
Hypnobirthing videos: • Four natural birth sto...
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Hypnobirthing course I used to prepare for my natural and unmedicated birth: www.heyshayla.com/hypnobabiesyt
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00:00 Introduction
00:25 / heyshayl
00:35 heyshayla.buzzsprout.com/
00:55 5 things I've learned with my second baby
01:06 I wouldn't change anything about my 1st experience as a mom
01:42 • How to ENJOY Motherhood.
02:17 How to talk so little kids listen : amzn.to/3FbxWEX
02:38 1. You need SO much less stuff
04:21 2. Postpartum Knowledge
05:03 3. EVERYTHING is a phase
06:35 4. I Let Sleep GO
08:38 Eat, Play, Sleep
09:32 Independent Play
10:37 5 Things we do the SAME
10:48 1. Floor Bed
11:27 2. Co- Sleep / Bed Share
11:54 3. Delayed Vaccine Schedule
12:05 4. Cloth Diapering
12:30 5. HypnoBirthing: heyshayla.com/hypnobabiesyt
13:30 Newborn NOT during the start of a pandemic was nice
And here are a few other videos I mention:
Floor Bed Videos: czcams.com/play/PLJFPJkXkiRIEU1cSy_lCw65YcL5Am39CU.html
Cloth Diapering Videos: czcams.com/video/zvA6zRYmu_4/video.html
Hypnobirthing videos: czcams.com/video/olCGo-3kF-4/video.html
Hey shayla, just wanted to comment because I’m sure you e done your research but in case you didn’t know the FDA and most safety guidelines in USA recommend against Amber teething necklaces due to the risk of suffocation. I know a friend who lost her child to one so I always want to spread the word on their danger. Thanks for all the helpful information you share
I feel like my biggest downfall with my first was trying to equal the social media moms and internet advice. So grateful for realistic and relaxed moms like yourself.
Ugh the worst. Social media can rob us of so much!!
Absolutely EVERYTHING is a phase!! Even into their teen years. Best advice for new parents.
I just had my first baby in June, and I already know I want to do postpartum sooo differently next time, starting with having less visitors right away to “meet the baby” unless they are coming to help with chores or meals.
Yes I wouldn't go visiting until he was a month it's just too much when you are recovering. I let my mom come help traditionally bind me and teach me to nurse but that's it.
Most Hispanics follow the "cuarentena" 40 days of no visits allowed nor the mom can go out unless it's a Dr. Appt. I did 2 months. Lol. My babies were born during winter. After that, pandemic hit. I was so happy..my kids never got sick till they were almost 4. Thank God I love in a house so we made our backyard look almost like a park. 😂
Yessss! If you're not here to help and/or you don't bring me joy/fill me up socially...you can wait!
Currently pregnant with #2, so these videos are super helpful! Also, did anyone else get told a million times before their baby came to enjoy sleep while you can because you won't have it for a while? Literally the worst advice ever. It's like that for a few weeks, not your entire life! It freaked me out with my first for no reason.
Just to add to this, most people who bed-share or cosleep report they have no idea what the 'new-mother-exhaustion' is like. because they sleep pretty great. ive got a 5 month old, and at 6 weeks old i decided to bring her into bed with me. she's slept the ENTIRE night from that moment on. if she wakes up for a diaper change, its right back to sleep after. its amazing how much easier things are when you opt to do whats biologically the norm for our babies!
Agreed!!
YES YES YES
Urgh for me… almost 2 years and sleep is still the biggest issue we face it’s awful 😢. She was horrific though from birth to 1 year old, that was the worst time. Think it’s different for everyone!
@@ChristinaMaria bring her into bed with you - watch your life change!
I wish I had found your videos with my first baby! I’m nearly 35 weeks pregnant with #2 and these videos are a breath of fresh air!
I am a mom who is such a light sleeper, I could never co-sleep with my babies. Every little movement or sound wakes me up. Also, I have to move around a lot to stay comfortable. Even when our 6 or 4 year olds have a bad dream or something and crawl into our bed, I usually end up just sleeping in the guest room bed so I can actually get some sleep.
the same here plus my baby is a light sleeper as well. moved him at 6 months and that was the best decision ever. my husband snores so baby would wake up from that as well
One thing i am doing now that im currently pregnant with #2 is not jumping up to do things right away for my toddler. I’ve let him get used to this and so now I’ve been saying “okay, i can do that, give me 5 or 10mins I can get it for you” this way when baby comes and I can’t get things for him right away, he’ll be used to it and won’t think it’s cos a baby is around. And this time I won’t feel guilty for contact naps cos they don’t last long, other people made me feel guilty for it first time around. I will also do la hypobirthing course again this time.
I don’t know if this has been said but I appreciate the speed you talk at. Most videos or podcasts I listen too I have to put on 1.5X speed.
Hahahaha me too!
People from developing countries like the Philippines where I'm from, we all usually co-slept. In a floor bed. My first baby only slept on me on the first few months (I figured that out fast when I was desperate for sleep). She eventually slept on the bed beside me around four months which was a relief because she's heavier. Good luck to all mothers! ♥️
Mate! You are amazing!!! I love everything you stand for! I've been doing most of this stuff. Eg cloth nappies, independent play, co sleeping and so on. Here I was thinking I was a horrible mum because I wasn't doing anything like anyone else because my baby wouldn't sleep apart from with us. You've shown me how normal I am! Thank you so very much. I owe you my sanity and my sincere thanks ❤️🙏
I’m a new mom, my little girl is 7 weeks old and I have to say, your video gave me such a sense of relief. It was spot on God sent. I felt like I was being supported so I have to say thanks ❤
I wanna say that I really enjoy watching your videos. I don’t really parent anything like you but I enjoy your energy and I appreciate your perspective into motherhood. Like when you said you would not tell your new mom self to change anything. Thanks for sharing your motherhood with us!! ❤
Loooooooove that you don’t parent the same way but you still watch. That’s almost a bigger compliment than if we did parent the same way!
Thank you for telling me about Rie parenting. Although I wish I learned about it 1.5 years ago at least I can do this for my second baby. My first is addicted to TV right now because I was feeling so bad about not being able to play with her. But now we are doing digital detox.
I started watching you years ago when you were "Living on a one-way" and I remember watching your pregnancy reveal for your first! I haven;t watched your videos in awhile but congrats and I am excited to dig into all this new mama content!!
I don't have any kids yet and it's nice to hear that hopefully I won't be fighting myself to get back to "normal" and I'll hopefully relax into it the way you did!
Sleep was so stressful with my first, I’m not even gonna stress for the next one
👏👏👏 they will sleep when they’re tired
Ahhh so amazing. I've been following you for a long time....I literally love how your intro of what you talk about gets longer and longer. I love how you are constantly developing And growing
You’re GREAT! I really like how authentic you are. Thanks Shayla.
Your videos have helped me so much! I have a 4 month old who is going through the regression and he's my second and it's hard because my first didn't go through it but it's also not hard because I've accepted motherhood and I've let go on controlling his sleep so much and your videos have helped me do that a lot!
As a soon-to-be FTM, thank you for this video! It definitely gets overwhelming trying to plan all the different things I want to do with him. I’m going to be taking so much advice from this video.
You. Are. Awesome. I'm not expecting or even trying to conceive just yet but I spend an _embarrassing_ amount of time consuming parenting content on the internet from all kinds of moms (and some dads!). I feel this comfort/familiarity when I watch your videos and I think it's because of how genuine you are with us🤗 When I become a mom in- fingers crossed- the next couple of years, I'll have a *lot* of stranger-moms to thank and you will definitely be one of them😄💟
Awww I love that!!!
Amazing job with the description btw.
Omg I love you. I just found your channel and I wish you were a mom friend of mine. You’re great
i needed to hear you say to let it all go thank you 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖
I live rurally in high plains portion of Colorado. It's was -28 degrees when I brought my baby home. Even with central heat neighbors pipes froze multiple times over that winter. It was a blizzard the day he was born. I know how people hate co sleeping but I did it from day one on. I sleep very light anyway because prior my career was a truck driver so you have to wake up quickly and defend your rig if anyone tries to break in but anyway... It was freezing even with the heat on I was afraid my baby would freeze to death alone so I got an anti roll set up and my baby slept between me and my husband until he was 5 months. He started crawling and being crazy in bed by then so we evicted him to his own bed. But I woke up every two hours for 5 months straight whether he needed to feed or not just to check on him and make sure he was just fine I'm the bed with us. We also had individual sleeping bags so he wasn't under our adult sized blankets to suffocate or anything.
As soon as you said "Cloth Diapers" I hit LIKE and subscribed!
Baby no 2 sleeps in her crib next to me. I love it. My first did not sleep in his crib only next to me in the bed. I have a lot more freedom and love it.
As you mentioned, no 2 experiences the world on her own, too busy sometimes with our big boy.
On the other hand I carry her more (also to protect her from her brothers jealousy) 😅
I also started earlier with pumping milk every now and then to give her the chance to get used to a bottle before going back to work.
I have not changed too many things, loving it more to be a mother now. Only the couple time is close to zero 😢that’s difficult to accept.
The witching hour!! AAhhh I thought that'd be the death of me! Worse 6 weeks by far, and baby is 9mo now. Definitely going to do all I can to prevent that with baby #2!
Coming back after taking a break from watching your videos… you had your first baby 6months before I had mine so I loved watching all of your videos you were always like a step ahead of me so I knew it was coming next 😅 but when you got pregnant with your second so fast I was like whoa whoa whoa I’m absolutely not ready for that and took a break (I also got my bachelors degree in my daughters first year and sustained a serious birth injury).
I’ve just gotta say your videos have been FIRE lately! Giving me so much hope and peace to watch. I even shared a few things with my husband who said “sounds like a great chick to follow, she’s got great points”
I have a more advanced parenting question if anyone knows the answer! Reading all of the parenting books they all agree that a more hands off approach is better, promote independent play, free range kids etc.
my question is if that’s true then why are first born children more successful? Statistically firstborn children are more successful and this is accredited to having a both parents individual attention for longer than any other siblings.
Soooooo interesting!!!! And great point! I don’t have an answer but I wonder if it’s bc of americas “individualistic” emphasis!
Ive never even thought to question this!
I would guess it would be because first borns may feel more pressure to live up to their parents' expectations (which would naturally be more strong in them when the parents give more attention. They are praised more for all their milestones.) The later born children have more relaxed parents typically and less pressure to perform or achieve. They can also be "babied" by parents where they aren't held as accountable for things and parents don't make as big of a deal out of disobedience like they do with first borns. The later born children feel freedom to be who they want to be and do what they want and first borns don't usually feel that freedom. Also, later borns can tend to receive more absence and neglect (in a mild way, not abusive way). That isn't what the RIE approach uses, it's not neglect but rather being present, ensuring safe spaces for them to play or explore on their own. It's sitting with the child but not interrupting them with "good jobs" constantly. The typical later born children experience that I hear about is parents not even knowing where their child is and just letting them do whatever, so there's a big difference.
I would argue that the definition of success is part of the equation too. Often we define successful as being a high achiever and working hard. The RIE approach would define success differently, probably something akin to an emotionally regulated person with healthy boundaries doing what is important to them. It doesn't have to include apex of finances or career.
Thanks for inviting discussion about this! It was fun to think about and try to articulate my own hypothesis :)
This helped me so much thank you
Thank you.... ❤
One to two babies is a big transition! We continued bedsharing, but now we're sleeping in two separate rooms, because baby waking the toddler up at 2am was not fun for anyone. I do think the main difference is just being more chilled out, partly out of necessity. RIE has also shaped my approach to things. No adamant tummy time (and I know that's highly controversial, potentially), but time in the carrier is great. Second baby gets a lot more "do their own thing" time, again, because a toddler is much better equipped to articulate what they need (I know this is obvious), and the baby has been progressing in their development without concerns.
Sometimes, it's just finding new and refreshing resources for doing the things I tried to do/did with my first, such as baby led weaning (BLW). I found Solid Starts way after my first started solids and I wish I had it back then because I felt a bit uncertain and had a few scares. Such a great resource, backed by a full team of professionals, with a fantastic app, so mealtimes take so much less mental effort (beyond the basic constant mental effort required). I highly recommend checking out Solid Starts.
I actually just heard about it and downloaded the app!! Thank you
How do you have time to read books?! Lol im struggling to get things done around the house/eat/use the bathroom.
Audibleeeeeee I don’t read anything I listen to everything!! They have a free trial too! www.audibletrial.com/do6Kz7
I 2nd audible! ❤ I LOVE to read & I talked about how much I missed it a lot after my daughter was born. Then it hit me: As much as I love turning paper pages & smelling the books I’m reading… My reality is I do not have time to read a physical book right now. So I have to compromise! I listen to audiobooks while I cook, clean, walk, do laundry, etc…
This makes more sense I was feeling like a failure when she said she read a book and I can barely find time to use the bathroom with a 2.5 year old and a 3month old
An alternative to the witching hour bedtime is to do a 10-30 minute bridge nap. It bridges the gap between afternoon and bedtime and helps quell the crank.
That is exactly how I felt with my second❤️
I took a postnatal supplement instead of continuing my prenatal supplements and it was the best thing ever with my second. It was great for mood support, postpartum shedding, immunity, and lactation.
Uuu god to know!!
do you mind sharing which supplement?!
@@Dana-mb1hd I think it’s from a company called GoBiotix. I got it off of Amazon
@@NathalieVA56 thank you!
Starting to really love all your videos even the ones before you became a mom ♥️♥️! Watching all of the vids with Amber in them, you guys are so funny!!!! I love your sisterly dynamics, whycome no videos with her recently?!?
Ugh they’re my favorite too!
And I love your said whycome lol
😂😂, no but seriously!!! Bring her back!! Bring her back!! Lololol
Just found out I’m pregnant with baby number 2. I’m not a crunch or granola mom but I’m loving your videos!
👏👏👏👏👏👏 love that
My first had colic and severe reflux for 8 months so sleep was non existent, now with my second I kept calling the doctor thinking she sleeps too much but it's actually a normal amount for a newborn 😅 So everything is different because she's so relaxed🥲
Love this for you!!!!
So excited that HayShayla podcast is back!!!
Me toooo thank you!!
Oh man, my discovery of what wake windows were was pretty much the same 😂
Haha right?!
Wow, the part that you don’t identify as a mom for so long is totally true for me! My son is 14 months and I barely now feel kinda ok saying “my son” it was soooo hard for me for so long. I hated calling the dr office to schedule appts because I had to say “my child” or “my son”. If I had to talk about him I’d always say “the baby” 😆 I finally feel like I identify as a mom! So weird lol.
But I feel exactly all of these when it comes time for baby #2. ❤
Yes!!! It was SO WEIRD to say my daughter!!! I remember this!
" DOB ", kept forgetting it's about my baby now & not mine lol
@@heyshaylaweirder to hear my significant other say it!
Hypnobabies made ALL the difference for me. ❤
I will say, hypnobabies if nothing else helped me sleep during pregnancy when it got to the point of being really uncomfortable trying to go to bed. 😅 It also was super detailed in education and I liked to learn everything about pregnancy. Unfortunately my labor went zero to 60, so the whole “is this my birthing time?” question and getting “in the mood” part of it didn’t work and by the time I could even comprehend I was in labor my contractions were too close together to get calm enough to do it. (Seriously, first baby and he was born in 6 hours from the first contraction! 💀) I still had it playing in the background, because I was scared if I turned it off, like “what if it gets worse if I can’t hear her voice??” 😂 It was super helpful though when I had pelvic exams and all that stuff though. I’ll probably try it again, or at least use it for sleep when I have my next one. 😊
I had the same experience! Hypnobabies was kind of helpful but overall when it came to laboring it all went out the window!
@@lindseyp9131 hahaha yes! I feel like it came so quickly I panicked and forgot everything. 😂
Yep. Wow...I feel like the reason I had ppd was because I was fighting becoming a mother. So even though I'm scared of a recurrence of depression with the second I feel like I'm not fighting upstream anymore.
I think mine was bc I wasn't able to do "all the mom things" without struggle...so wild how how we relate to motherhood can have such a deep emotional impact!
Omg what a cutie pie! Congrats mama.
Thanks for the content. ❤️
About the wake windows: that really really stressed me out! Because my baby would simply not sleep. I googled how to hypnotize a baby to sleep. That's how desperate I was. It didn't work btw. Everywhere I read that he should be sleeping after an hour of waketime max, but he didn't. In his first month he stayed awake for 3 hours and then slept for 3 hours. I tried everything, but I never or rarely got him to sleep after 2 hours of being awake... But it's okay. I figured out that everyone is different and he just does not need as much sleep somehow. He is now almost eight months and he sleeps really well through the night, but only takes two more or less short naps during the day. He is fine. He is hitting his milestones. I don't try to force him anymore and it's so much more enjoyable that way.
👏👏👏👏👏👏 YES TO THIS!!!!
Okay I feel like we are one in the same! We parent very very similarly my only thing is I only have one child at the moment(18 months) so she nurses to sleep still to this day for naps and at night and she does not want to stop!!! I can get her to sleep sometimes without the boob but I almost feel like a failure that the only thing she want to go to sleep is to nurse and for comfort. Also she wakes up a couple times in the night and wants it(we cosleep) and I NEED to break this habit 😭😭 Shay please help! I watched all your videos on your 1st and how you weaned her but mine will not listen to the “it’s not day light yet” she just sits up and cries and cries for it until I give it to her and 30 seconds later she back to sleep after I give in because I’m tired 😔 I have to break this soon and especially before another baby is on the way.
I picked one stretch of 7 days I knew I’d be tired and could do it. She cried for 45 min the first time and I just held her. You have to hold the boundary. She won’t, it’s HARD and your hormones go wild. But you can co it if you wan to
Hey love/ love all your vids! Found them whilst pregnant with my first who is now nearly a month old. I am finding exactly the same thing with the napping. Some days just doesn’t want to nap or will only nap a couple of hrs, other days will get good naps but very rarely settles anywhere other than on me or when I am co sleeping with him.
How did you do the side lie nurse and then get up? Where was your bub sleeping? Because I think this would work for my little one just not sure where I would do it? Xx
Ahhh just seen you do the floor bed. Makes sense!
Yes!! It’s amazing
evrything essy. thanks
Do you have your full recommended book list?
Yes!
www.amazon.com/shop/heyshayla/list/3U8C9WH26Z5YH?ref=cm_sw_sm_r_inf_list_pub_heyshayla_mw_nsenqB1e7rUh1
do you have a video on your breastfeeding journey or do you mind sharing your journey?
I do!! Search hey Shayla breastfeeding and you will see one about how they’ve been different I also gave incredible podcasts about supply. Can’t remember which episode but in the first 10
@@heyshayla thank you!!
I am currently 14 weeks pregnant and I am reading the vaccine friendly plan. My biggest concern is finding a pediatrician who is open to an alternative vaccine schedule. Can you make a video Talking about your experience?
My midwife said to call a doctors office and the front desk if there’s a doctor there who would be open to delayed vaccines or someone holistic
@@heyshayla ok! Thank you
Are you still doing elimination communication and are you doing it with your second?
We started at 6 months wil AJ so I’ll probably start soon!
AJ is potty trained!
I thought i wanted to co-sleep, but with me exclusively pumping and being snorer, and her in the early months would grunt loudly every so often. I would try it again, especially if i get to breastfeed.
This is my 4th kid and I never heard of a witching hour😅. But let it be know I'm sure this kid will show me
Sometimes too much info is… too much lol
Hi baby, love baby
Sleeping in the carrier can be dangerous because of positional asphyxiation. Might want to mention that. If you tip the carrier so they are more flat then its fine, but if they are more leaned forward it is dangerous.
Check out free birth society, I feel like that's up your alley❤️
Thank you!