7 things I needed to know before having my second baby!
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- čas přidán 29. 06. 2024
- 7 things I needed to know before having my second baby!
Carrier: heyshayla.com/sakurabloomyt
Did anyone else panic when they were pregnant with baby number two?!
I was in full panic mode (mostly over naps) and I was asking everyone I knew who had more than one baby HOOOOOW to do very basic things when you have your second baby!
SO I sat down to think of things I wish I knew.
The overarching theme is WE ARE CAPABLE, IT IS HARD and we can do hard things.
And to be honest... you just figure it out... because you have to.
I hope this video helps to make you feel better about things before having your second baby. BUT I would also LOVE to know, what am I missing. What would you tell yourself before having baby #2?
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00:00 Introduction
00:32 Instagram @heyshayla
00:43 heyshayla.com/podcast
00:55 What I wish I knew before my second baby
01:19 Was 0-1 or 1-2 harder?!
02:09 How will I love my 2nd as much as my 1st baby?
02:28 7 things I wish I knew before having my second baby
02:42 SLEEEEEEEP HOW?!?!??!
03:21 Carrier is key with your second baby
03:50 floor bed with my 4 month old
04:18 What do you do with the toddler during baby naps?
05:26 Every baby is different... really.
06:23 You will mother different... really lol
07:35 Good or bad it will be different
08:42 Mama Mantra "Be her now"
09:39 Make a postpartum care plan! @mamapsychologists
10:09 You'll be sick more
10:45 Prep your toddler (we did a big sister book)
11:39 WE CAN DO THIS!!!!!
Lol. Thank you for the “that’s my toddler crying not yours”. More helpful than you would think!
Okay but it actually was also mine. I was so disappointed lol!
Hahaha so true
Seriously!!!
I have 2 under 2 (youngest is 8 weeks). It has been so awesome to hear you talk about the “letting sleep go” thing because naps are also a huge trigger for me. Just hearing that that’s normal, is so refreshing. With my first I experienced so much rage surrounding naps, and now I’ve been able to go with the flow.
You've got this!
Going with the flow is so hard, but also so necessary in parenthood. :)
So good to hear your experience... naps were such a trigger with my first and now I'm 35 weeks with baby number 2 and its such a daunting thought
@@elishathompson3400 it’s so so hard mentally. I just remind myself that I can’t control things. I want to, but I can’t. And that’s ok. I can just do the best I can to be the calm in the storm for my kids.
Bedtime is another huge trigger for me, but it has gone surprisingly well. I just remind myself that I can’t reasonably attend to both kids at once so it’s ok if one (or both) are crying. (We don’t do screens either)
Look at you, girl! You were so overwhelmed, and yet you have kept up with your channel and your work, and you have remained yourself even if you don’t feel like it… That is inspiring. I really appreciate your authenticity and honesty about the process as I am starting my own motherhood journey!
So relate to the “be here now” mantra. I’d have these moments where I felt so raw and overwhelmed. I’d hold my daughters face to mine and just focus on the softness of her skin… magic!
Right?!!! It’s grounding
The biggest shock of going 0-1 babies was the lack of sleep/interrupted sleep. I won’t like the lack of sleep that happens with taking care of newborns when we have #2 but I’ll be more prepared for it
The only thing I needed to hear “it doesn’t half it doubles” as this is my biggest fear about having another baby
I'd love a second kid at some point so my 7 month old can have a sibling, but at the moment I can't even imagine ever wanting to go through the entire process of pregnancy and postpartum again. ;)
It's nice to hear people's experiences with this, though.
I felt the same way when my baby was young, but now that my daughter just turned 2 all I can think about is having another baby 😂
@@hogblubbers Haha, that's good to hear! Funny how our brains work. :)
It took me 6.5 years and even now I’m terrified because I didn’t expect it to happen so soon 😭 I think I’m in the minority though…
@@ev3805 I feel you! You've got this! It's hard, but you've gained so much knowledge and skills in the last 7 years. You'll manage wonderfully, and your wise child will probably be super excited about their new baby sibling, and very helpful too!
Older kids seem to be the best entertainment for babies. :)
I just have to say, I love your channel because you don’t shame for feeling overwhelmed or that sometimes moms just need a break, but you also speak a lot of light into motherhood. ✨ I only have 1 little (will be 2 in May) but I feel like every time I watch your videos, they resonate so much with how I feel. It literally is the best and most rewarding thing that has ever happened to me but also the hardest 😅 lol and I think that’s okay to say. 🙏🏽 thank you for your content!
These videos always come right when I need them. Thanks Shayla!
Your video's are super helpful thank you so much for making this. You helped me so much with my first and she's one now and I'm due again in two months. Definitely wasn't planned but it happened and here you are helping me sooo much again! I love the Be Here Now mantra too thanks for that! Sending love and light to you and your family!
I have a 11 month old and a 2.5 year old and I definitely agree with everything you said! I didn’t know how I would do bedtime or nap routine by myself (husband works nights) but I figured it out and now I feel like a pro. TV for my toddler when I have to put my baby down is a game changer!
Sometimes, after a long hard day with two kids under two, your videos are just the thing I need. Music to my ears. Thank you.
This is GOOOOOLD! Thank you thank you thank you. Expecting baby #2 and found this answering so many of my questions/anxieties.
Ughh thank you! Much needed🥰 I’m so encouraged❤️
This is so real and I love how you talk so authentically
I love this!! We’re planning on #2 and have been so nervous about it. Thank you for this!!
So glad I watched this! I’m about to have my second and I am so glad I am not alone is some of my freak out feels. Thank you for making this ❤
Such a great video! Thanks for sharing. We are trying for baby number 2 and this was exactly what I needed to hear.
Thank you so much for this series!
Thank you for this!!! I just got a positive pregnancy test which will put my kiddos at almost exactly 2 years apart. Excited but also WTF. So thank you. I love your videos!
This was so helpful to hear! I just found out this morning I am expecting our second baby and our first is 18 months. This was so helpful!
Lol 😂 this is so on point. I just had my baby #2 almost 3 weeks ago … and I’m cracking up. You nailed it!!!
Perfect timing.. Getting induced with my 2nd in 11 hours. Thank you!
I really loved how grounded and sincere you spoke about this, without sugar-coating it. You really made me feel at ease and less scared. I feel that the biggest challenge of motherhood is not as much the abundance of obligations (not that it isn't a factor), but the dialogue in your head and the constant overthinking.
Agreed!!!
Thank you for taking the time to share! This has helped alot!
Oh good!!!
Thank you!! Found you during postpartum with baby #1 and now loveee your videos with having baby #2 on the way. I share your channel with every mom I know. ❤
Amazing!!! Thank you! And congratulations!
Thank you for making this 🥹
Omg perfect timing for moi, video is saved lol I’ve been thinking about these things before having the second (not pregnant) but just thinking about what is coming when we decide to take the leap. Great tips and helps me put aside some of these unknowns, want a second even more now 😊
Idk why I teared up a bit when you said don’t worry you won’t have love for two don’t even think about I. I felt so guilty when I think about having another one.
Most helpful video ever!!!
36 weeks pregnant with my second and definitely needed this ❤️
This was so helpful 💕
Thank you so much for this video! 33 weeks pregnant with my second baby boy and they will be almost exactly 2 years apart
Super helpful! Thank you ❤
This is the video I needed! Due in July with baby #2 and some days I feel like it’ll be a walk in the park and other days I’m panicking about how we will make everything work 😂
u are the best as always ❤️❤️
Thank u. I needed to hear that. Sending love to all u mamma's.
Thanks for this ❤️
This may be the greatest CZcams video I've ever seen in my entire life 🐥🐥
Thank you a million times for the mommy mantras.
I feel overwhelmed everyday and i forgot all of the years of meditation and reiki I did before being a mom lol 😅
Yesterday I decided I need to stop leaving myself last bc it just makes it tense and anxious 😬 for everyone else.
I’m finally going to look into preschool for my 3 year old and I cannot wait!
Currently sleep deprived from my 7 month old teething after having a week long reaction to god knows what bc she’s allergic to life. 😮💨
I needed everything you put into this video. 🙏🙏🙏
Fitting self-care in while parenting is so hard!
Hope you're able to carve out a bit of time for this (even if it's just 5 minutes of deep breathing), and you can reach out to a professional for support if needed. Wishing you all the best.
Very helpful! Thank you.
The caption for the background noise, I appreciate it more than you know!
Ty sister. Loved the note in the video about the sound being your toddler and not mine
I’m exactly two months away from meeting my second. Thank you for this video ❤
This video couldn't come at a better time! 35 weeks with baby number 2
Omg I have been thinking about #2 so much recently and going back and forth about when to have another so this video is perfect timing! I have a 13 month old. Thank you for this video Shayla! I wore the Grow Good Humans sweatshirt yesterday 😊
I was 13 or 14 months when we got pregnant I think!
2-2.5 years I think is a great gap!
I have two boys who are 14 months apart. All I wish I knew is that I absolutely would be able to enjoy my second baby once I got out of feeling like I was drowning during the first four months post parum. It even took me a long time to bond with my first. And that's okay. I love them both to pieces.
👏👏👏👏👏👏
My first is so calm, chill, easy going. I'm TERRIFIED I'll have a terror baby next and I'll pray for days with only one again. 🤦🏻♀️ My first doesn't even cry hardly EVER!
My best friend has 2 kids and both were seriously the best babies and so chill as infants! Don’t stress too much, you got this!
Literally my fear also 🥲
How did this come EXACTLY when I needed it?! Your timing is always impeccable🤌
CZcams algorithm. They track what you are watching.
I really needed this. Im 4 months away from my due date. My oldest will be 23months old when i give birth and this helped my anxiety so much. Thank you!
I’m pregnant with my #2 and my first is 20 months, they’ll be 25 months apart. I was (and still am but a little less so) SO nervous to have a second even though I want a big family so bad because I just don’t know how I’m going to be able to handle 2 needy babies/toddlers at the same time! My first has been an angel and I’m so worried my second will be a horrible sleeper/etc (my first was sleeping 12 hours STRAIGHT at night before 4 months old) but I have to let it go and just see what happens. Thank you for sharing your tips and what you’ve learned because these are the types of videos I was looking up when I first found out I was pregnant!
OMG so funny “that’s my toddler not yours” I literally jumped and my heart sunk as I thought “oh no she’s already awake?” 😂😂😂😂
I thought this was helpful, and I’m not even pregnant with a second yet but I have wondered “how…do they do it??” The sleep thing is what is the most anxiety inducing for me too, that has been the hardest for me while becoming a mother.
My toddler got to watch some birth videos and she definitely knew what was coming when the baby arrived. I knew she would do great though because she loved talking and playing with babies for as long as she's been able to react to them
I'm in this boat!!! 2 months away from having our second baby girl, who will be 1 week away from my daughter's 2nd birthday! Haha. Thank you for thinking of people like me :)
Thanks for this! We’re thinking about a second baby. Terrifying but thinking! Haha
When it said “that’s my toddler not yours” I was like no, it’s both 😂
My husband goes back to work very soon from parental leave. His schedule is very all over the place and more often than not I will be doing bedtime routine alone. I am very much looking forward to your videos on that topic. It will make me feel less alone!
Coming tomorrow!!!
This came in clutch girl! We have a one yr old and I'm 4 months preggers with second and feeling very overwhelmed where before it didn't hit me. I was like" yeah let's have two!" Not thinking how am I Honda keep one quite while the other sleeping or giving the oldest enough attention tion and not feeling neglected and bath time when it's just me due to hubby's off schedule he has so it's a one man show around here lol oh and also two dogs one who is about to turn two and has alot of energy while trying to attend to him😅 you've mentioned the book idea would love to buy that kids book but how when uour 1 yr old doesn't know how to read just go through the illustrations and read it to her? And didn't think to have tv off until I put the new born down will definitely use that trick😊 again thanks for this video and will be watching many more
Always love your videos!!! 😅 mom of 2 year old and 3 month old here. The only thing I do differently is go to the crying baby first instead of the toddler. Even if the baby can’t remember like we can, all the trauma that happens to them gets stored in their body. And their cortisol levels spike if they are panic crying and no one comes to help in a minute. But I think most moms have great intuition on this 😊
I knoooooow I’ve thought of this 😅 I also agree intuition and base it on the cry
Whew! Expectations are a joy-killer, aren’t they?
This is exactly the kind of video many of us mamas need! I want to start trying for our second in a few months (first is 13 months old), and these are exactly the sorts of things I’m worried about. And the first 4 months of exhaustion with two. I’m glad my parents are nearby 😮.
Something I wish I’d put in here! The first 4 months they don’t do much!! They just eat sleep poop. You might have lack of sleep but they just chill while the toddler runs you in circles lol
@@heyshayla usually they do, but some babies (colicky/reflux) are unhappy or unsettled most of the time. I didn't know that with one of my babies, and I really struggled with that.
@@heyshayla Oh for sure, there’s less of a concern about logistics initially, just the lack of sleep issue. I was in bed from 9pm to 3pm for the first month or so, just so I could eventually get enough sleep, but that’s not happening with number two. At least my husband will have a long paternity leave.
I am a mom of 2, one is 18 months the second is 8 weeks. I am also a nursing student.. This has been so hard. I have felt so much gilt, so overwhelmed, so many huge emotions. your videos really help me and validate the feelings I have. Its crazy, and it feels like nothing gets done or nothing is right but I know I have to be In the moment with my babies. Thanks for all you do Shayla, you make a huge difference for very vulnerable people.
😭❤️❤️❤️
That IS hard. Someone said to me “it’s a long life” and even though we never know. That helped to put it in perspective. In 10 years we’ll look back at these days and giggle
can you do a video on encapsulating your placenta? i’ve been thinking about it!
I did a podcast! heyshayla.buzzsprout.com/1819031/10552651
very good
Found out I’m pregnant with baby #2 on Valentine’s Day, the day after my daughter’s first birthday! The immediate mom guilt I felt after realizing my time with just her is now limited is unmatched. Thank you for this video!
My baby is 15 months and I'm almost 5 months pregnant scared as hell but excited
I laughed you put the * that’s my toddlers not yours* cause currently laying down 30 weeks pregnant while my 16 month old is napping and I thought he had woken up early for a second 😂 but thank you for this video I needed this for sure cause I’ve been freaking out about what’s it’s going to be like with 2 and losing my sleep again 😫😂
Thank you very much... My son is 2,5 years old... and we are considering trying for a second baby... There are times I feel I can do it because I always felt like I am made to be doing this whole motherhood thing!!! Like I love every kid even if they are not mine!!!
In the same exact boat with an almost 2 year old…keep going back and forth. I definitely want more kids, but getting pregnant RIGHT NOW is what I’m terrified of..kinda. Also letting Jesus take the wheel on this one as much as I can 🥲
My postpartum with my first makes me dread going through the newborn stage again
Thank you! I’m newly pregnant with a 9 month old OMG Eeeeeeek
Interesting idea about 'going to the one that will remember'. I'd be prioritising the baby though as she is still forming her attachment (during the first thousand days) while Aliyah is already attached and can understand that you will come, just not immediately. Not coming to the baby will feel like abandonment at this point. Hard to win either way though! love your content!
Totally and we know the difference in crying too. If esme is upset I go there. If she’s fussy I go to the toddler. All instincts. But I totally get what you’re saying! And technically Aliya is still in the first 1000 days
My kids are 9 years apart and very very different. My daughter is quiet, never cried, up for any adventure. My son was a preemie, super fussy, still super fussy at almost two, never wants to leave the house for adventures. And my pregnancies were very different too. Almost perfect 1st pregnancy until my fluid dropped and had to have an emergency c-section at 37 weeks. 2nd pregnancy was sick the whole time, pre-eclampsia that turned into severe eclampsia and had him via emergency c-section at 30 weeks.
Dang that’s soo crazy!!
My daughter is 14 months And I just turned 35 weeks today. Just got my little girl down not long ago (my first stressor is how drastically different her sleep schedule has altered with a new baby right around the corner😭) and it's currently 2:08 AM. So of course this will be my night video :-)
My pregnancy was uncomplicated but difficult, labor was great, emergency c section and hospital were terrible, postpartum was awful, breastfeeding was soooo hard. I'm scared for all of it to be worse.
Sleep is something I never worried about because child I didn’t care what was going on, I’m going to sleep
1 to 2 was so much harder for me. My kids are total opposites though. My daughter was relatively easy. She napped routinely for 2-3 hours and was awake for the normal wake windows... My son on the other hand refuses to nap unless we're driving in the car or if I lay next to him after nursing him and as soon as I get up he's up. My daughter refused to sleep in bed with me when she turned 4 months but my son I don't see leaving my bed anytime in the near future 😅
I’m just waiting until my partner has another pay increase which should be this year.. then we’re giving the go for baby 2. I’m so excited. My first is 2.5 and I want to get pregnant next year. 4 year age gap.
I have a 6 month old and sleep has not been an issue so far bc we co sleep. I want more but the thought of getting 2 babies to sleep is daunting.
I just had my first - she’s almost 3 months old! And I’ve been wondering how the heck people have a second. 😅 This is helpful!!
Congratulations to you! So many amazing things happening at that stage and when things do get hard just remember every week is different at that age. I'm not kidding, if something's feeling really challenging, hang in there for a little time and you'll be in a whole new phase before you know it. You're doing amazing!!
The first 3 months were the hardest for me. My boy is 9 months and it just gets easier but you have new challenges.
Honestly this is a controversial opinion but I think toddlers are easier for me than babies! My baby napped absolutely awful, teethed like crazy, had colic for a while. I was dealing with a lot of postpartum mental health stuff. She's literally the chillest and sweetest toddler, up for any adventure. Still crazy because she's still a toddler but it's so nice when they can use their words instead of just wailing!
I am trying for #2 in just a month, and I'm so nervous I keep coming up with reasons to delay trying lol. "Oh but I don't want to have morning sickness when we have to get the garden going in the spring." "We need to take that trip to see my parents before I'm too sick to move." We're going to just go for it and let the chips fall. Every time my toddler has a sleep regression, I'm wondering can I even do 2?? Thanks for that last point, that we can do this. It's such a simple statement that carries so much strength.
My two are currently 23 months and 9 months. It has been a STRUGGLE. I still feel so much guilt trying to divide my attention between them both. The love for both is there, I just need 4 arms 😅
My toddler also doesn’t like tv so bedtime is really hard if there is only one parent home sometimes!
Bedtime here is cosleeping with both sometimes that means one stays up a little later than they should but we all go to bed at the same time.
I’ve been struggling over here too lately. Solidarity
Due any day now ❤️ (official due date is Wednesday) with baby #2 ❤❤❤
I’m 3 months away from moving up to 4 kids. 😬 Send help! Haha! But seriously the 1-2 transition was the worst for me, cause #2 wouldn’t sleep anywhere but on me for 6 months, it was so so hard. I also basically wore him constantly for the first few months. 0-1 wasn’t bad at all really, but I’m an introvert so that makes it easier. 😂 2-3 was actually great cause my hubby was home for 3 months with COVID lockdown, hello silver lining! (That kid also slept like a freaking angel!) we’ll see what this last one brings!! We can do this ladies! 💪
Watching this again 😅
Wow I wish I could decide if I should have my 2 nd baby… my pregnancy was ok and delivery too but I didnt like postpartum period… just afraid that it would be a lot harder but I would like to have 2 kids😂😊
I’m about to have my third and doing bedtime by myself is currently my puzzle! We’ve taken screens mostly out of the picture but I think they are about to make a come back.
Okay another comment LOL on the “that’s my toddler not yours” because I’m always pausing videos to listen for my kids.
Been thinking about this for a few months. I have an almost 8 month old. I'm 33.5 years old. I want four kids at least. So I feel like I need to have a baby a year basically.
Too late, I have an 18 month old and a 3 month old but I’m watching anyway before I eventually have my third 😅
Im literally about to have the same thing. Due in 2 months.. The 1st will be 2 and the 2nd will come like a week later
I'm really struggling with this guilt that my toddler won't be the only baby anymore. She's such a sensitive child and I'm very worried about how she will adapt.
I want another baby so bad lol I have a 13 month old now. But she doesn’t sleep good AT ALL and I’m nervous about having 2 babies not sleeping😬 I say the perfect time to try again will be when I can get the first one to sleep through the night but then again other moms say there’s never a perfect time😅
Hi there! I'm super interested to know more about placental encapsulation. I'm wondering if there is any momma's out there who have had a pregnancy without doing placental encapsulation and a pregnancy with doing it, what differences did you experience? ❤
I did both and it was night and day for me! I have a podcast episode on it heyshayla.buzzsprout.com/1819031/10552651-031-encapsulating-your-placenta-w-a-doula-and-birth-educator
I’m pregnant with my #2. My daughter will be 20 months when he’s born. My biggest concern is sleep. My daughter has never been a great sleeper, and I’m still up multiple times a night with her. She ends up in our bed every morning by 6am just so that I can get another hour or so of rest before we have to be up for the day. She’s showing zero signs of wanting to wean, and I don’t want to force it, but I’m so stressed about nursing two babies every night 🥴
I weaned during my pregnancy I had a major aversion. The other thing is if you’re still nursing birth the toddler will eat way less!
Our toddler is almost 3 and just started sleeping through the night. They want you close you’re not doing anything wrong❤️❤️
RELATABLE CONTENT! I'm due in May with #2, and my son will be 17 months old when she arrives. I am grateful to not have that pre-mom terror of the complete unknown, but my brain does get stuck on the tiny everyday logistics of doing the newborn thing alongside a [very active!] toddler. My current mantra is a little less woo: "Complete idiots have figured this out, so you can, too."
Hahahahahaha obsessed with the mantra
My first is 4 weeks today and even though i had a healthy, all natural pregnancy, I've been having hard time with the postpartum depression. Breastfeeding has been more difficult than expected, since my mature milk came in she hasn't wanted to latch. So after a few nights of breakdowns I exclusively pumped every couple hours. Im so tired. I hold her all day and night long because I have anxiety if i put her down she wont be breathing when i pick her back up. I love her so much but I miss the freedom i had a year ago. And i feel like all the support from pregnancy is gone now that shes born, my whole family decided to "give me space to bond" well i feel like im drowning. Being a sahm alone all day is hard, even with a great partner because he works 8 to 12 hours a day. He is excited that my six weeks is almost done, but the closer I get the more I am having anxiety about getting pregnant again. And he doesn't want to use protection. I want to get healthy and strong again first, and feel good for our wedding in a few months. I feel guilt for not "enjoying" every moment with my baby but I'm so depressed. Its hard enough since i promised him we could get a kitten next week. I am so not ready to take on another pregnancy, and the constant fears of miscarrying again like the first time. 😢
Girl use some kind of birth control (condoms, FPM, implant, nuva ring, ect) and hold off on sex for longer than six weeks. Let yourself heal until YOU feel ready and excited for sex. And post somewhere your friends will see this “i know people ask how to help me out. If anyone can come fold the laundry so i can nap with baby or watch the baby so i can shower that would be helpful” and wait and see who volunteers.
Lol my first baby is an extremely observant baby and my second isn't here yet so I'm not sure how she'll be but I've wondered about this.
Lmfao so im holding my first baby while watching this right. She farted once and i saw the "**thats my toddler not yours" edit and then she farted again. Thought it was the video until the smell hit 🤣🤣🤣 had to rewind to make sure i wasnt losing my mind hahahaha. Nice video by the way!!
Hahahaha
Reading some Ram Dass, Shayla? Be here now.
I am pregnant with number one (due in 7 days). Everyone is telling us that having one is great, but having two….. is like another level and most people talk us out of it.
Sorry you're receiving so much negativity. Wishing you a smooth delivery and a great start with the new addition to your family!
You've got this!
One at a time is our motto lol worry about later things later. For now enjoy your sweet babe on the way ❤️❤️
@@carinen8119 Thank you!
@@heyshayla Indeed. We also decided to just focus on one babe for the moment and than see what happens :) Thank you, Shayla.