Secret Marriages & Premarital Sex on College Campuses | Dr. Shabir Ally & Dr. Safiyyah Ally
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- čas přidán 6. 09. 2024
- A recent article in the New Yorker (link below) quoted a Muslim chaplain, Adeel Zeb, who says he's approached by college students who want him to conduct marriage for them without publicizing it. A 2001 study revealed that on one campus, 54% of Muslim students had engaged in premarital sex. The article and study led to widespread discussion in the Muslim community. Some people said secret marriage is a minomer. Others said these marriages prevent the greater harm of fornication. Still others said parents are to blame, for having unreasonable expectations of their children. Dr. Shabir Ally and Dr. Safiyyah Ally weigh in on this debate. Dr. Safiyyah says there are responsibilities involved with marriage; it's not just about having a sexual relationship, and there are repercussions if the marriage falls apart. Dr. Shabir says the Muslim community should find a way to get young people married who are mature enough to bear the responsibilities of marriage with financial backing from their parents to help them to continue their studies while being married.
Link to New Yorker article: www.newyorker....
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Parents and society has made it absolutely impossible to get married. They have cut off the halal way ENTIRELY for a lot of people!!!!
Agree 💯
Getting married is easier in islam. But as u said, It is not parents or society prime cause for this issue.. the issue is education is also much materialized and so the life style too. Money is the fitnah for this ummah... It affect natural thought process all the way.. actually Allah has not set that way and He made really easy way to get married.
It's true that society has made it difficult but that isn't an excuse. It's still is one's own responsibility to stay away from sin.
I wont judge our brother and sister of Muslim society about their way to handle the difficulties to get married, because after all, it is also a test form Allah to them.
And marriage in Islam in my opinion is never a simple matter.
Why? Because in my point of view, getting married in the name of Allah, then that marriage orientation should be focused on submiting to Allah.
Because Allah make man and women to be a pair of couple, this couple should empower each other in the way to submit to Allah.
So, you guys better choose your future spouse wisely, because if your spouse couldn't make you increase your faith to Allah, then it means that you couldn't make a good use of such family that you swear to make because of Allah.
bro a man must give an assurance of some sort to the woman@@moinudeen2887
What I find problematic is getting married with the intention of just temporarily satisfying a passion and then divorcing once the need is gone, because that makes marriage absolutely meaningless, just an excuse to validate sin.
If they are sincere about it and pretend to make it a lifelong commitment, that is more understandable, although if that's the case why wouldn't you tell your parents? How serious can you be about a relationship when you don't even want to fight for it?
I can't put my finger on it but it's a early shias
Having half a marriage or dating or MULK AL YAMEEN would solve the problem.
Honor killings happen in response to women who "Fight for it". I don't think it's that people are not taking it seriously.
@@ilmashallahaleemsyed1907 it's mostly Pakistani culture right?
@@ilmashallahaleemsyed1907 having sexual relations for pleasure is NOT sin but rather allowed as per Quran. 4:24. It's the timing of it like the Shias that make it transactional thereby creating loopholes for hookers to take advantage of
Watching from Liberia West Africa, in my Country Liberia most of us ( Muslim Youth) are of age and want to get marry but the unemployment and elaborate cost of marriage is a huge challenge Dr Ally. Hope things get better through Allah Will. Ameen
I do request everyone, I beg all of you, please, for the sake of Allah SWT, please start attending Fajer prayers daily in Mosque. Please do your best to do this, you may find it hard and difficult in the beginning, but put your all efforts to continue. InshaAllah, Allah SWT will make it easy for you. Also please try to encourage one or two others to attend Fajer prayer in Mosque with you.
The mosque is an hour away for me.
Undisclosed nikah is haraam, undeclared nikah is close to zina!
Aisha reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Announce this marriage publicly, conduct it in the mosque, and strike the drums for it.”
Source: Sunan al-Tirmidhī 1089
It's another thing to have a private wedding party but yes a minimum of 2 people from each side of the participants in the wedding that is the bride & the groom are to be present compulsory!
In the Maliki madhab it's fine for an undisclosed nikah
@@fahadalam8322heyy is it okay if u pls elaborate on this 👍
I am speaking as a revert to Islam therefore my perspective comes with a history of a "different" life prior to Islam. From my own understanding, Allah Subhanuhu wa'ta'ala MADE us as sexual beings... get over it. So what am I saying? At the ripe old age of 59 I totally get how parents would be very anxious that their children stay "chaste" until marriage. But.... here's the thing... if parents aren't talking about sex and sexual desire openly with their teenagers and young adults.... how on EARTH can we expect them to "curb" their desires?? THIS IS HOW ALLAH MADE US..... So... permitting marriage between young people is something that needs to be talked about and addressed in the BIGGER picture. Affordability, Education, Maturity, Desire. Maturity etc etc
We live in a COMPLETELY different world in 2022.... So much is hugely and remarkably different from the days during the times of our Prophet Mohammed Salalahu walaihi wa'salam..... HUGE DIFFERENCE.... but.... human desire has NOT changed.
So here is where I have to leave my commentary... I am a revert... I am NOWHERE near a scholar.... so I ask, those whose advice is desperately needed... What do you say to this?? Jzk
Allah made us sexual beings? God made us, a spirit being having a soul housed in a body. Sex is a blessing to have intimacy and bring forth life in the presence of God. It’s the tabernacle symbolism, where the high priest passed through the veil to enter into The Presence of God.
In short , God’s Spirit in man should rule our soul and body, not the other way around
I agree. Marrying younger is better. Even if it ends up in divorce later. It is better to have people be halal with each other than sneak around. I got married before I finished college and with the support of my spouse we both finished college and I have three graduate degrees. Being married actually made it easier since I had help with many items. Such as sometimes I could make dinner when she had a test coming up and other times she would make me dinner when I had a test coming up. Also it kept me from running around with the guys before a test. The benefits outway the downsides. On the issue of the Wali... I think if the girl has the abilitiy to choose a college major, which will affect the rest of her life, why can't she determine the marriage contract. I thnki she should be able to appoint a Wali. The other item is that parents should support this. Remember they are your chile but once they are an adult they need to be given support and help to set up a good life. Keeping them back from seeking happiness and letting them fall into zina, because you are selfish must be a sin on the parent as they did not help their child avoid it. I would love ot hear others opinions.
The wedding reception is mandatory for men. It is the proof of acceptance and for that marriage should be made public. Marriage is no joke. if secret and temporary marriages become norm there is will be mess.
Temporary Marriage is not permitted. So any
marriage should be with the intention of likely to be continued , and not with the intention of discontinuity.
Temporary marriage is practiced by hundreds of million shia muslims. It is the sunni muslims that have been misinformed on this topic. The reality is they do it anyway disguised under secret marriage. Allah knows best
We cannot accept such a thing , let they do what they believe to be permitted , but do not argue us that we may accept such an act because they do believe in it and even practice it. It is not permitted simply even if they all do it. Why to inform us that they do it. Inform them that it is not done by Ahlussunnah۔If you respond that they know what we consider as prohibited ,we know what they do what we believe to be prohibited .
SO DO NOT TELL US WHAT WE ALREADY KNOW.
@@parodontaxnexera5803 Allah swt in the Quran allows temporary marriage. The fact that al sunnah does not want to believe this but they do disguised secret marriage is the same thing. Wake up brother, there was a saqifa rebellion.
The obedience to Allah (swt) his prophet (sa) and the 12 divinely commissioned Imams are inseparable: no one can claim obedience to Allah while at the same time rejecting or disobeying the Holy prophet and his 12 Legatees. Sunnism is "Islam" minus the Wilaya (the divinely commissioned leadership) of the 12 Imams of the Ahlul-Bayt of the Messenger of Allah (1). The Sunnis rejection of the 12 Imams is nothing but Self defeat. The Sunnis are sunni because they exclude themselves from the Ahlul-Bayt's part of Allah's Grand Plan for the Leadership of Mankind. The Saqifah rebellion against the commands of Allah (swt) marked the beginning of the most notorious rebellion in the history of mankind (2). That rebellion is the disunity of the Muslim Ummah and the beginning of shame, humiliation, defeat, wandering endlessly in the sea of hypocrisy, seditious shedding of Muslim blood and all the evils plaguing the ummah today. The realities facing us today show that the majority of muslims are standing very firmly behind the rebellion against Wilaya either intentionally if they are knowledgeable or unintentionally if they have no knowledge of the early history of Islam. Those who are not exposed to our authentic history are, however, exposed to a denatured version of it. That Islam which rejects the Ahlul-Bayt (sa) is like a seed without an embryo. Biologically speaking, a seed without an embryo cannot germinate. When you plant it, it decays instead of producing a new plant for the benefit of all. It is no surprise, therefore, that the Islam built around the heinous coup d'etat has dragged the nation of Islam into internal rebellion, bloody wars and humiliations at the hand of tyrannical rulers & oppressive monarchs.
(1) “There will be twelve Muslim rulers (who will rule all the Islamic world)." He then said a sentence which I did not hear. My father said, "All of them (those rulers) will be from Quraish. Sahih Bukhari 9:89:329 & Sahih Muslim Book 20, Hadith 4481
(2) “The pledge of allegiance to Abu Bakr was nothing but a prompt sudden action which got established afterwards. And no doubt after the death of the Prophet we were informed that the Ansar disagreed with us and gathered in the shed of Bani Sa'da. 'Ali and Zubair and whoever was with them, opposed us, while the emigrants gathered with Abu Bakr” Sahih Bukhari 8:82:817 & Sahih Bukhari 5:59:546
I strongly believe that the obligation for a woman to have a Wali who is a man is so patriarchal. I understand young people especially girls are easy to get advantage of. Well then maybe they should wait until they are wise enough to marry themselves to a person they chose wisely. And if two young people want to get married why guys don't have to have a Wali? And a Wali should be a man, why not a woman?
Marriage is not a joke, it has enormous responsibility.
Come on guys, I was a teenager and young man myself, never ventured myself in that path until I found myself ready
Wow, the modern world has sure thrown a lot of hardships into marriage, especially the racial, geographical, and educational realities-Not to mention the multiple possible schools of islamic jurisprudence to choose from!
Secret marriage is not zinah - but society will not accept it, as they are unaware. Only Allah knows best.
Awesome explanations by Dr. Shabir 👍👍
I absolutely adore and admire this father daughter dynamic, you can tell she was raised but a great man who values her (im sure her mother is great too ). Such an excellent example for all Muslim men with daughters out there
To stop sin the Vali should allow his daughters to get married , in general, with the condition that it should not be a temporary marriage / Mut”ah
I have watched the whole video to know the opinion of Dr. Shabir Ally about A SECRET MARRIAGE but I couldn’t get a clear answer. I am sorry.
I simply needed to know whether a secret temporary marriage is allowed in Islam or not? And if it is allowed then what is Zina?
I also waited for a definitive discussion on mutah but they skirted that topic for a general discussion on requirements for public marriage and seemed to avoid the distasteful problem of temporary marriages to satisfy a temporary urge. I would have thought Shabir Ally would condemn it or its abuse to allow sexual sin. The fact he didn't is somewhat disturbing.
TOTALLY HARM... ALL MARRIAGES SHOULD BE OPENLY ANNOUNCED & PARENTS OR GUARDIAN'S SHOULD BE INVOLVED. CAST & RACE..
💥⚡🤺💯👍
7:04 Still must be publicized even in a tiny circle of relatives friends as A MANIFESTATION OF DECENCY AND LEGALITY,;other than that it is an act of FORNICATION\ZINA🛑
4:55 still holds true for the vast majority of girls particularly those in the early 20's of age, and who never been married. I might add regardless of her education status level.
6:06 "it should be publicized" : actually it MUST be publicized even in a tiny circle of relatives friends as A MANIFESTATION OF DECENCY AND LEGALITY,;other than that it is an act of FORNICATION\ZINA🛑
Exactly it MUST be publicized as you said at bare minimum between close relatives and family members. Otherwise it would be marry, enjoy, (Zina) leave- marry, enjoy (Zina), leave.
Publicizing it is part of the Sunnah.
Thanks!
Isaac and Rebekah entered into a marriage by oral agreement and they consummated it. No ceremony or written agreement. It's somewhat analogous to a common law marriage.
Quote the authentic text.
I dont think the Son of Ibrahim pbuh would do something against the Shariah of their time.
Anyway, the silver line is that it was the Shariah of their time. And for this era, only the Shariah of Prophet Muhammad pbuh is valid infront of God.
That is what we call ma malekat aymanakum
@@logicalthinker483 what they did is called ma malekat aymanakum and the Prophet did it with 4 women including his famous girlfriend Mariah Al Qiptiya. If there is no written contract then she is basically a girlfriend
In islam A contract is valid even if it's not written so is it in English common law. However Islam encourages to have it in writing especially in case of financial matters. 1. Offer and acceptance, 2.compensation, and required 3.witnesses that constitutes a valid contract. And girlfriend has a different status than a slave. Maria (May God be pleased with her) was a slave and the responsibility of basic needs like food, clothing and shelter was totally the responsibility of the owner as per Islamic law back than. And slaves weren't allowed to engage in any activity ( financial, social or sexual etc.) without their owner's permission. Since Islam encouraged to abolish slavery and since girlfriend is a free woman and not a slave so it's not applicable.
@@crochetinn2021 there is nothing suggesting that a slave woman can't be a girlfriend as Mariya was with the Prophet. Nothing in the Quran or even the corrupt Hadith suggests for one moment that mulk al yameen have to be slave girls or is restricted to them. Ma malekat aymanakum can also be for men too as in Quran 24:31 a woman can show her beauty to a list of men such as her provider or husband and malekat aymanahunna. What their (feminine form) OATHS POSSESSED.
Please don't tell me you are saying temporary marriage is ok in Islam.
What the diffrence between sunni muslim and memon (maiman) muslim?
Is it marriage permissible in both ?
The word sayat is bad deeds while sharr is evil such as in surah Nas.
Muslim ummaah need to understand that the world is constantly evolving and as such restrictions on marriages have to be considered. The Ulama also have a role to play by educating the society. We should not blame the material world or education for this challenges but rather the weak Imaan and some cultural obstacle attached to marriages.
Why can’t one just stay celibate? Until they’re in a position to get married! I feel it’s the easy thing to say and lay blame on others! We are all responsible for our own nafs and desires! We are the captains of our souls’ be strong and just to your own self and your inner demons!
Dear sir,,,In Assam if I tell my guardian that I have some physical need then they will throw me out of muslim society to Christian society....
both "parents" should agreed to facilitate the basic needs, to be guidance and observer. Being part of youth organisation members in these "digital economy" era will provide a side income for those "young couple" when large scale "networking" exist. Peace be upon all.
What about those who 'married ' non believer?
A Muslim woman cannot marry a non Muslim
السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته
I'm not a muslim but there is an easy solution. Just don't give in to temptation.
In Islam, zina and fahisha, are NOT EVIL but rather considered to be bad deeds.
Are you even a Muslim.
@@usamaathman3922 yes I am Muslim Alhamdulillah... I am taking my info from the Quran... zina is sayat or bad deeds ...evil is in surah Nas...min sharri wasiswasi..
The word sharri means evil NOT sayat which means bad deeds and is an antonym to the world hasanat which is good deeds. So doing sihr is evil or sharri but zina is described as a bad act or deed.
Fahisha means indecency and pave future to evil habits in Quran states.
What u stated above and later explained about bad deeds and evil are literally escape goating .
Listen my bro islam is islam and will end as islam, islam will be here and will end in the end of times, what have u prepared to stand on front of ur lord, our Rabbul Alameen.
Humble urself and get rid of biased nature of listening to one's desire and I have to think good of u as I don't know much about u but if u have bad intentions then its between u and Allah so fear Allah same way u have hope in Allah.
Chastity is high act in islam and chaste men are for chaste women and slandering women chastity is MAJOR SIN "fornicator are for fornicatress odoltress ..." (24:2) so u explain the rest to me and the verse on believing men and believing women ... the reward is with Allah (33:35). I don't want to destroy all hard work of good deed (Amal) and plus who are we as men to try to destroy innocence of women and expect to marry a clean women u end up ruining life of a sister whether she's muslim or not and how is that teaching islam when she can't find husband due to horrible past this issue has more consequences for our sisters compared to our brothers so don't let ur lower self cloud ur upper self judgement let's be better versions of ourselves.
Don't try to say bad deeds to reduce severity its actual form is sin yes u heard me SIN and rhats the true form remember Satan changes words ro change drastice meaning like hiw they call riba benefits and zina they call it entertainment.
My brothers and sisters I love you for the sake of Allah and please make dua for me and I make for u. Peace out Salam allaykum family.
@@nicenice. there is no such thing as women being innocent or guilty and women having partners is not Haram...if you are polygynous or have a harem just like our ancestors did then you won't worry about a woman's body count...the only thing I would refrain from are prostitutes and ex hookers
@@nicenice. riba is benefits outta thin air but you can't escape it any more...to get rid of it we need banking through social credit like the way the Chinese have done but the problem with that though is that if you are an opponent of the powers to be you may not benefit from it.
when mulsims leave the Quran, and decide instead to follow the guidance of hadith, they are in a clear wrong. for anyone who is at uni right now, wanting to get a nikkah done but keep it from others, read 2:235 and any other references to marriage. and then think plainly. then do.
God knows what's in our hearts, our deepest inner most thoughts. purify yourself. try hard to remain sexually pure.
I think Muslims should follow Islam.
This method is very well know in Iran - it is a completely Iranian way on how to satisfy passion and divorce after a day or too, which I think is even worse than prostitution. But Iranians seem to love it thus practicing it all over the country.
But was this different than Assia; the daughter of Abu Bakr and sister of Aisha? She was also married according to nikah mut’a fashion.
I'm a muslim boy, 21 years old.
From Texas USA, I wanna get married to avoid jinah but you know my parents are the main problems.
According to them I have to be 30 years.
I can't wait until that.
If I do any wrong things then they would be the responsible.
Odd about 50%, active (50% passive!!+ii:)
as long as mutah is legal.. mutah mutah mutah..
Dont show your frustrations O' companion of the devil
@@logicalthinker483 son of muttah.. muttah.. muttah
@@2Sage-7Poets fyi am not son of mutah but you are an illegitimate son . do you even know your dad
Make more research before you call it Zina…according to a lot Muslim scholars it’s permitted if conditions are met..
Truth should be acceptable, even if it comes against the individual's GRAINS
It’s well documented in the Books of Fiqhi… Anyone who studied the slightest Islamic Fiqhi knows this, so better be silent than declaring Zina on people. I’m not negating that parent involvement is the best, but you know the world we live in today…where Zina is out there
Check the Hanafi Fiqhi and what their Adila is… and Shafi’ya about elopement. (نحاح التحكيم). I have a clip but unable to share
Islam set Witnesses needed just to not keep this as secret.
Why this guy has to discuss this topic with his daughter here? You both need to have some hayaa, father and daughter.
A girlfriend is what you call ma malekat aymanakum. We need to have men having mulk al yameen. When you deny the halal everyone does the haram
I’m afraid, it doesn’t. Those relationships are not permitted.
@@thehourglassfan3515 oh yes it does. a concubine is a modern version of a girlfriend. the only real difference is that the girlfriend is not from a servant or slave caste and has financial independence thereby more agency. There is also a hadith where the Prophet hooked a man up with a girlfriend without a marriage contract cause he was dirt poor.
@@mugzA21 Really? Could you provide me with the source? I wish it was that simple, brother. I don’t know about you but I don’t want to get married but if having a girlfriend is not permissible, it cannot be justified.
@@thehourglassfan3515 it is permissible to have a girlfriend AND the Prophets ALL had girlfriends.
@@thehourglassfan3515 a concubine is the same thing as a girlfriend.