TAKING OUR HUSBANDS' NAMES || Soila and Curtis With Friends
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- čas přidán 28. 02. 2024
- #love #marriage #trending
Is name change really worth the hustle?
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Nakwambia genuine and pure christian marriages ziko tamu.
Tamu sana!
We should differentiate between general traditions and Christianity. Taking on a spouses name has nothing with one's relationship with God/Christianity, or the strength of the marriage convenant. It is a matter of tradition from different cultures.
Also, Kadzo said that having a name on a land title could help to claim ownership?! This is wrong. With a legal marriage certificate, the spousal relationship gets proof, even in a court of law. These kind of issues arise in cases where people had no legal marriage. If not divorced but separated, the couple remains legally married, unless the separation is reported legally.
A couple can live united, committed to one other, walking in faith and the lady still keeps her maiden name. These days I'm very keen to separate culture from our communities, and Christian principles and guidance.
Hi Kandi. Thanks for your response. I think you misunderstood Kadzo. Kadzo was simply giving an example of what happened to someone and hence pointing out why the name change was an advantage in that specific scenario.
Secondly, We did address the issue of those who have not changed their names but still have good marriages.
The whole point of the video was to raise the benefits of name change and the possible underlying principles connected to it. We are not trying to start a new doctrine. 😂
Finally, I like it that you are keen to differentiate culture from divine principles. But don't forget that God often used the culture of the jews to highlight spiritual truths and principles. For example, we see how Christ uses the pastoralist culture of the jews when he talks about the shepherds and the sheep as a way of telling us about Himself and his believers. He also uses slavery and bond servants in the Jewish culture as a way of showing us about sin and the power of redemption.
He also does this multiple times when talking about the jewish marriage ceremonial culture while pointing to Himself as the groom of the church. A culture only becomes bad when it contradicts the ways of God. Otherwise, if it does not, we are to critically analyse it and see what divine principles we can derive from it.
As we concluded on the conversation, we did mention in the video that the choice to change a name is yours as an individual. Follow your conviction on the issue. Name change is not a doctrine that everyone must follow. It is a personal conviction if you are able to perceive any principles tied to it. If not, well and good.
Thank you so much for having this conversation😊😊
If part of marriage’s purpose is to mirror the relationship of Christ with the church, and we take on Christ’s name in our spiritual dealings, then it follows that there is spiritual significance in a wife taking on her husband’s name.
Also, it’s so good to hear the gentlemen’s perspective on a conversation that is typically driven by women😊
Exactly! It's about the spiritual significance behind the act of taking the name.
When you have a Godly marriage you good to go cz the conviction is absolute
I like the noise from the kids....so authentic
I have thoroughly enjoyed this conversation and learnt alot. I love all the biblical references that, in as much as it may not have been stated in the letter, the spirit of the letter shines through in why a woman taking on a man's last name has a spiritual impact.
Yes, it's really about the spirit of the letter.
This conversation was rich... I love the expression of the faith in the marriage life.
Thank you for watching Ivy.
Wow! I am so proud of you guys! You are re defining martiage, etc with your wisdaom always, You are a real blessing. I cant help but think the biblical...'let no man despise you because you are young.....you are setting good examples and glorifying God in your oozing wisdom❤🎉
I really love the way you guys paralleled this with the name of Jesus..... so deep🎉
As always, your marriage conversations, centered on the word, are still so fun, honest and practical. Thank you for your genuineness and obedience in starting such platforms of influence for the Christian single and the Christian married. Baraka Tele.
Youuuuuu guyyyyyssss liked before I watched. Watched and left edified and enlightened. More grace for more content with friends
Thank you for tuning in Christine. 🙂
Love this conversation soo much, alot to think about here, now this should hit above 150k views
si mko wisee👏👏the level of discernment ...👏
Amazing is an understatement
Curtis' perspective to his question💯💯💯💯💯
Guys i see your point in that its sort of an unveiling of your new identity thru your name. How do we do this but still not idolize marriages, i mean where is the balance? Cause one can easy stay in marriage that dont work cause cause of “marriage” n all that comes with it.
What do you think?
Hi Beverly. A marriage that is modelled after God's heart and precepts will always work. What makes it difficult is when we get into it and try to lean on our own understanding. So the advice here ios to figure out, why is the marriage not working? And what can we do about it? Because when two people really want to make it work and are willing to do anything it takes, it will work.
This is great and introspective material. Wishing all of your unions God's covering and blessings. Keep inspiring!
Amen to that Brian. Thank you.
Ain't married but learning so much. Thanks, guys Love the channel.
I have always said I would change the name when I get married. I just felt that it would give me a sense of ownership but you have enabled me to add more reasons as to why I should change it. Your alignment to Scripture added more weight. Thank you so much.❤
Glad you enjoyed the content Christine. 🙂
Thank you curtis and soila for this channel. keep doing it.
Thank you for watching.
You guys really inspire me,I'm still really young but I believe this is beneficial to me for the future
We are glad to hear that Becky. Barikiwa sana.
I loved listening to this conversation. I don't fully agree, I think interpratation in how it translates in the spirit is ...subjective..idk...I don't think there's a wrong answer here.
Divine principles are cast on stone. We cannot adjust or play around with them as we please. What we can play around with is the application of the principle. For example, love is a principle that we must all work with. The only thing we can play with is the application of it. For one couple, spending time with each other may be more practical while for others, serving each other may do the trick. But at the end, the principle of love is being applied by all.
I’ve looooved this topic. And I agree with you guys: I think we should take a stand not only to be associated with a certain group because marriage is personal. Those who take their husbands name and the church should respect those who choose not to take their husbands’ names and vice versa.
Yes. It is a personal choice based on personal conviction.
@@SoilaandCurtis Conviction. Yes! Because interpretation of the Bible also has to do with conviction.
I can't wait for the topic on submission.I also think that it is also about conviction.
Interesting conversation I liked and loved it 💯
Thank you for staying tuned.
I don't why i am always impatiently waiting for such shows and specifically on this channel😊
**don't know why**
You could have just edited your comment from the 3 buttons next to your comment instead of using asterisks @@babiryemercy2634
Hahaha. Thank you for always tuning in Mercy.
I love that this people talk about the things people find very delicate to talk about.,. i like will try learn why change the name and see if i can change mine though hubby has no issue with it like that
This is so good❤
You guys are doing one of the best contents. Have been learning alot from your content. at least I'm getting some mentorship from you.
Thank you Wamutetei. We bless God and are glad that the content is edifying you. Baraka sana.
what a new understanding of submission
my peeps!...nice topic...volume yawah!!!!!!!...
Thank you Esther.
Helo guys.. My two cents.. Surname change is such an emotive topic.. When you are in your fathers house you are his responsibility, Ones you are married you are now under your husband(he is the head of this byutiful small family) so its only right for you as the wife to have his last name... You and your children are his. Thankyou
I love the responsibility angle.
This conversation was enlightening for me as a newbie ❤
Thank you for coming on board Linnette. Glad you enjoyed the content.
I don’t think I would take his name. Also it’s not necessary that people know that am married even before I talk but that is not the case for the man. Noooo…. I choose not to. And this should also be respected
good question asked by Curtis there, whether change of name is spiritually significant? in the bible, God changed Abram's name to Abraham, Sarai's to Sarah, Jacob's to Israel and Simon's to Peter. Through those names God gave new beginnings, new hopes, new blessings. thus when your name changes, you are a new person.
An amazing conversation kama kawa; asanteni sana wangwana 🙏🏾
Karibu sana Okumu.
Good to see you
Glad to see you too Esther.
As a single Christian man, I don't think it would be paramount for my future wife to take my name but I wouldn't stop her from doing it. My preference would actually be she hyphenates it because I always find it so cool. But imo, I feel like that's her choice.
Anyway, I absolutely love these videos. Endeleeni kukamata those two couples wasizoee kuhepa😆 Also, I would love to see The Omols back as well.
what a new understanding of the Proverbs 31 woman.
Name change is just a tradition if you ask me. A beautiful tradition for those who choose to look at it like that. I still think you can have a beautiful Christian marriage without a name change. This tradition is rooted in the patriarchy of course. And we should appreciate that this tradition was once and is still used to frustrate unmarried women. Really unfair.
Thank you ! There is so much to unpack about the points raised in this episode. I don’t agree with much of what has been said. For instance there is mention of not rebuking people who chose to take up the names but at the same time they rebuke those who do not agree with the culture/tradition who defend not taking it up based on its patriarchal nature. 🤷🏾♀️ it’s giving antithesis and paradoxical.
Agreed
It is beautiful to be one
It is the essence of marriage
He is the head
It doesn’t make the women any less
Like the way we took on the nature of Jesus Christ and His name and His Spirit, his everything…
Marriage is a reflection of our relationship with God ❤
You're accurate, it's cultural & of no legal consequence. Marriage is a legal status proved through a certificate. People change names for various reasons & it's a different set of laws from marriage laws.
No offense but if you argue from a patriarchy point of view,,,, begs the question..... What about taking you father's name as opposed to your mother at birth?
I wasn't ready for this video to convict me in the way that it did.
Glad to hear hat Viz. 🙂
I wish there was another couple who had a different opinion.
Ours weren't good enough? 😂
I like the conversation and the significance of name changing and how it impacts the individuals. but what if the woman has built a career or brand on her name? How do you approach that?
There is a difference between a name and a brand. The brand is the individual, not the name per se. There are many celebrities who have changed their names over the years and still remained relevant even with the new names.
I prefer being addressed using his name but putting your name on my documents will be too much for me. The process itself is straining especially in Africa not to mention for someone who have built a name in their career- it feels like throwing away everything they have worked for😢
The process is definitely hectic for sure. You will need a thick skin to put up with this government system of ours. Also, many career women have changed their names either by hyphenating or replacing their surname and their career or brand didn't suffer. But at the end of the day, the choice is really between you and your spouse.
I ain't married.. My mom kept her maiden... I'd love to change mine tho.. Like it's all in.. Highway or no way lol... Kaende kaende
Hahahaha. Kaendeeee kabisa.
Kadzo and Makena wanadedi pale timestamp 28:43 after big homie Curtis said "pararrel" at timestamp 28:41🤣
just wanna appreciate Soila for removing the dreads n returning the natural hair
Hahaha. But the dreads were good too.
❤
Deeeeep
So deep guys
For Soila. How long did it take you to do the whole process of changing your name from the time you went to the first office to the time it was officially changed?
It's a tiresome process
More than a year. Essentially the process can even take just a few weeks. The problem is usually corrupt officials in the government offices who deliberately delay your process so that you can bribe them for them to make it faster.
👏👏👏
For those of us who love the blasted volume we are struggling
Hi Winnie, in what way exactly?
Looks like the men really enjoyed this conversation😁 I am for hyphenating my name simply because my Dad raised me with a lot of love and care and I carry his name with a honour but I would still love to take on my husband's name in my new identity as a married woman who is one with her husband. The views against patriachy come from a legitimate place of hurt because women have been 'finywad' for lack of a better word for much too long. But if you ask me patriachy was God's perfect design that was tainted by man's imperfection and he took advantage of his position of leadership to trample down on the woman. The gender wars we are seeing now are 💯 the devil's work to introduce hate and strife in men and women's relationship but the truth is, no gender is more important than the other. We were created equal by God, only that one was given the weight of being the leader of the home which he should do with love as commanded.
Yeeeeessssss!!!! Shout this at the hill tops! Well said!
Spot on!
Promo SM
My Muslim friend tell me that Muslims don't do it in case of divorce.
Islam allows divorce, Christianity does not.
@@MoraaOsiemo In Christianity, God hates divorce. But it doesn't mean He doesn't allow it. In some cases, there are grounds for divorce.
@@SoilaandCurtis I am aware but even after divorce, one should not remarry as long as the ex spouse is still alive.
@@MoraaOsiemo This is not accurate. I know the scriptures wheres you are getting this from, but there is a whole issue of context and interpretation when it comes to this teaching of divorce and remarriage. We will do a video on it soon.
@@SoilaandCurtis can't wait, but I thought scripture is the manual for Christianity.