Why Gender Pronouns Matter | Mala Matacin | TEDxHartford
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- čas přidán 12. 12. 2021
- What are your pronouns? Fifty percent of Americans are uncomfortable asking this question but using gender-neutral pronouns and language can create inclusion and help deconstruct the gender binary. Based on interviews with gender diverse people, psychology professor calls for allyship by sharing ways we can act to create gender inclusive spaces and see each other more deeply. “Watch what you say.”
“Be careful how you say it.”
These phrases have even more of an impact today.
University of Hartford Asst. Professor of Psychology Mala Matacin will be talking about language and gender issues and how we use labels. Her talk may lead you to re-think how you talk. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx
I don't use pronouns as they imply I wish to interact with humans.
best reply ever
You're a cat :)
agree
'I' is a pronoun 😂
Yes you do. Mr. Miss. She. Him. His. Hers. etc etc..
The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.-1984 George Orwell
Bingo !!!!!
I think you may have missed the point of that book my dude.
@@jonathandelgado4892 it's a singular quote. The book is irrelevant. Speaking of points, what is yours lol
@@jonathandelgado4892 Actually, how did that miss the point of the book at all?
Thank you!
"The ability to speak does not make you intelligent" -Qui Gon Jinn
I ditto that.
Nice argument, quoting a line from a fictional character! That's a great point.
@@marinajansen3196 its relevant here
@@marinajansen3196 ...which was written by a real human.
Don’t use Star Wars to be transphobic you stuck-up half-witted scruffy-looking nerd herder
I identify as Michael Jackson, my pronouns are he/hee.
I identify as a redneck. My pronouns are he/haw/
She doesn’t provide links to her statistics
We have poverty and unresolved wars yet these people are wasting their time on silly delusions such as this.
best comment!
This channel has 33 MILLION subscribers and thus video has only 500 views after being up for over 2 weeks..
At 2 months now and only 1000 views…
And 52 likes currently. It's safe to say society is over "preferred pronoun" narcissists.
31k views after 2 years.
Such a silly video
Why bother, just learn Indonesian language. Indonesian doesn't have masculin / feminine. Indonesian use "dia" (dee-a) for both he and she. It's easy to learn (only 400 hours to be fluent) and easily absorb & has absorbed a lot of foreign words because of it's nature as trade language in SEA & east asia since ancient time.
Really? Only 400 hours? Dude, I think you just sold me on learning Indonesian. How cool.
@@abigailb9144 I don't know if you're genuinely interested or being sarcastic. There is tier of the difficulty to learn languages and Indonesian is on the lowest tier. To learn English you need at least 500 hours, French & Spanish is 600, and very complex language like Japanese, mandarin or Arabic you need 700 hours.
@@berandal99 I am genuinely interested lol. I like languages and thought your comment was interesting. Ty
@@abigailb9144 it’s actually a great language to learn because like english it’s a lingua franca. you can get around malaysia, indo, papua new guinea, and other SEA countries with it
we making up our own problems at this point
Lmfao we are
Pretty much
This is why removing dislikes was such a bad idea. Now we dont know that this video has got more dislikes than likes on it smh
Actually, there's a google extension that lets you see the likes and dislikes still, and as of now there's 130 likes to 56 dislikes.
Over 10k views, but only 100+ likes. I think it’s fair to say majority of ppl have disliked this
How do you know that pal?
@@josechocoza8808 the first comment below my comment explains the method
@@Hafaechaesimma need that extension
If someone identified as will Smith, should the Smith family be forced to play along? If a 12 year old identified as a 21 year old, should they be sold alcohol? If a child identified as a dog, should they be sent to the pound? Such hard questions. Life is so tuff, ouch.
If you were born a man, sound like a man and look like a man then please don't get mad when others call you a man. We are going by what we see and know. We're not intentionally trying to hurt your feelings. Trust me, I am not sitting around thinking about you and your preferred pronouns. I'm living my life and so should you.
Exactly!!!! I work w someone like this & they get so rude when someone accidentally calls them their biological gender. This seldom entitlement is getting outta control.. 🚮
HOW dare You exist without Thinking about me!!
I'm the main character, not you!!
(that's how they are)
the irony is 5 years ago no one was sitting around thinking how to hurt these people's feelings. But now that they demand to be called bogus pronouns, a lot of people are indeed sitting around thinking how to offend them.
@@DarkRaikon
Says the sweet and total baby who gets upset then somebody asks for kindness and respect.
?@@hogblesser
My preferred pronoun is Daddy. Henceforth, it will offend me if you don't call me daddy.
My chosen pronouns are 'Your Highness, Your Highness' and 'I'm not worthy'.
Take your pick.
LMFFAO
I speak proper English. So I don't care one way or another as it doesn't effect my life in the least.
Rarely do people face discrimination if there is a conversation about it. It’s when it’s thrown in our face and used against us without an “emotionless conversation” is what makes this annoying and pushes people away. I’m all for peoples equal rights but it gets ridiculous sometimes
You were wrong when you put in "emotionless conversation". The conversation has to be emotionless that's how good choices are made without emotion. The left has confused emotion with right and wrong. They think if it feels good then it must be right. That is wrong. Thing are right or wrong without any feeling. Your emotions distort your reality. That's why most leftist can't make a good choice.
Yep. She said pronouns increase inclusion and reduce discrimination. I think that it's the opposite: it aggravates people who otherwise wouldn't be aggravated. It's impossibly complex, has no logical basis, and is too often obnoxiously demanded.
Making up words and demanding they be used is a formula for exclusion and segregation, not inclusion. If you have too many rules, I'm just gonna find someone else to talk to. Especially if you're obnoxious about it.
@@spidgeb3292
What do you care? You're not affected in any way. It's like if you have a friend who has a nickname. Do you get upset when they ask you to call him that nickname? Don't be such a baby. Find it so weird how all you hardcore straight motherfuckers are always watching trance videos, you always have a bunch of trans pictures ready to share on Twitter etc. It's an obsession! You hate see people happy because you're miserable. The reason you're miserable is because you're probably feeling a little something in your head but you're too afraid to make the change.
Unless you are in the habit of talking about yourself in the third person, surely the pronouns that you use to identify yourself are I and me and we. It seems to me that what we have here is a very basic and fundamental misunderstanding of third person pronouns. They are not ours in the sense that we do not typically use them when referring to ourselves. No, these pronouns belong to others. That is a problem: Do we have a right to dictate other people's language? Obviously, some people believe that we do.
Exactly!
By that standard, your name doesn't belong to you either. Please use your head at least before launching into a bigoted screed.
It's not Baskin-Robbins folks. Just because you like to play with your body parts different then others. You don't get your own flavor! 😂
Me,my wife and her boyfriend who's pronouns are Ty/Rone really enjoyed this presentation!
@Booty Warrior...You ain't seen NOTHING yet...10-15 years ago, I thought these fruitcakes were about maxed out. Boy was I wrong!
Literally just came here from EWU Crime channel where they were praised in the comments for properly gender ring a dude in a wig who chopped a bunch of people up and fed them to pigs. So stunning and brave…
My daughter has a friend who goes by "they". My question is how do you distinguish singularity from plurality? For example. Let's say someone asks my daughter where this friend is and she responds "They went to the store." Your first reaction is to wonder who all "they" are? Did a group of people go to the store? "They" works when you are referring to people in general as in "They would rather be right than admit defeat." Within the context, you would know that the speaker is referring generally to all people male and female. An instruction manual might, for instance, say something like "The user will then hit Return. They will see a screen..." In this case, in context it's apparent that "the user" can be anyone of any gender, and doesn't specifically talk about the number of people being addressed. It doesn't imply that "all users will then...". If you are speaking in the second person, you don't have to worry about gender; "You will then hit return. You will see..." It's 3rd person singular vs plural where the problem lies. That's where gender comes in and makes it hard to distinguish how many people you're talking about if you eliminate he and she and replace it with they.
to be fair, they is also used as a singular in dictionaries and most people use it unknowingly in their daily life. i’m sure it can get confusing tho, so just ask! there’s absolutely no harm in that, or u can ask ur daughter to use the friend preferred name instead so that it’s easier for u to distinguish.
As she reminded us, we already do that with "you". You singular isn't "you am / you is / you was", it follows the plural (we, they) conjugation. Even when you're in a group, you can be talking to a specific person.
Also, we use the singular they when we don't want to identify the gender of the person we're talking about. This "new step" isn't that different from it because you probably won't use "he/she/they" when you're talking TO the person (here's where "you" is used), but ABOUT the person - the big change is that instead of being the speaker's choice to not reveal the gender, it's the person being referred to that chose it because that's how they feel more comfortable. There will be more elements in phrases and sentences such as articles, singular nouns and other elements to distinguish if "they" is singular or plural ... in the same way it does when it comes to "you" singular vs. "you" plural.
Ex.:
- You are a good friend -> singular.
- You are good friends -> plural.
- They are a nice doctor. -> singular.
- They are nice doctors -> plural.
- They were my teacher. -> singular.
- They were my teachers. -> plural.
It's simple, refer to a person by he or she because that persons need for attention shouldn't affect your right to use proper pronouns.
@@aashiakataria4465 do you know what happen if they go to another country that don't speak English...they as a single only works in English....other country not so much
@chester wilberforce simple...talk to the friend in 3rd person
what does Monika want?
Another reason I won’t go back to college.
Great place to go to become a Starbucks barista. I've lost track of how many doctors serve me coffee there.
Nonsense. It’s not someone else’s responsibility to affirm another adults identity. Grow up.
Considering how important this pronoun thing is, I am wondering how the English language survived for centuries with people not worrying about it. I mean, society should have collapsed long ago, given that people weren't respecting pronouns. 🙄
I know what you mean.
I can't imagine people looking back in 100 years and saying:
This was when the two-genders mistake was suddenly corrected.
Ladies and gentlemen, the king of hyperbole! Why are you so obsessed with trans issues? Where are you stalking these videos? I think somebody has a little something they want to get off their chest, or add on to the chest.
These people have deeper psychological issues. To give others that type of power over them for calling the wrong "pronouns " screams at something deeper.
Look up gender dysphoria.
@@RisingRose exactly
gender dysphoria, gender identity disorder, body dysmorphia.
All have been treated in the past with extensive cognitive therapy, medication, and hospitalization.
How about us/them, because the actual purpose is to divide people.
As a non-english native speaker, far from being a fluid speaker, I feel discriminated by these pronouns. It’s already hard enough to try to comprehend the meaning of a conversation in another language, and yet some try to make it harder. But some say that discrimination can be used for good… the irony.
Yeah.
When one has barely learned "they" means
I (am)
You (are)
He/she/it (is)
We (are)
You (are)
They (are)
And then you get informed you should write "(...) When a president (of the NGO) is selected, they...", and you say: this is wrong. It's a grammatical mistake. And you get shunned by the whole international NGO, without explanation. Because they assume you're in the context. And you're not.
6:23 Of all the people she could choose to quote from, she chose *John McWhorter* - the irony is beyond comical! I wonder what *Professor Nicholas Meriwether* thinks of all this?
I’m losing brain cells just watching this video
So should we entertain schizophrenics and have conversations with their imaginary friends?
A professor psychology
obviously,I would be very surprised if she wasn't.
great comedy bit! Its nice to see that TED does standup comedy now.
This was hilarious!
They have been doing that for quite some time now..
TED talks are great for seeing how much humanity as a whole has fallen into degeneracy.
@@regulator7931 I wouldn't go that far.
Looks TED need more share....
My preferred pronouns are "GasLight/HooHah/Bulldurp"...
The more I watch the more I just shake my head
I identify as an American person and I use my right to ask for the American passport
lmao this was funny
Yup, this is the issue faced by the world right now....the most important issue😂
Yeah, the war i the Ukraine is nothing compared to this health crisis ;)
Yeah this is much bigger than the war in Ukraina or the cost living crisis in Europe
@@leealberto4139 Indeed, damn, people should learn some compassion lol ;)
@@blackdeath6085 i'm not even worried about the "war" in ukraine.
No wonder people dont watch ted talks anymore
"You are about to enter another dimension, a dimension not only of sight and sound but of mind. A journey into a wondrous land of imagination. Next stop, the Twilight Zone!"
I used to dream doing a Ted Talk one day. They looked so cool and smart. Now I see not only the quality of the topics has gone south, also the people they invite. I will find my own platform and you can keep boosting selfserving ideological nonsense all you want
The definition of a first world problem.
I don't know we're slipping into 2nd and 3rd world pretty fast wherever these people are allowed to exist.
Although I was born visible, I now identify as invisible. I am trans-parent. My pronouns are who/where.
Ok, what is the difference between Carole and she/her? They are both female. So , is carole just tired of her name, to want to be called she/her? Henty's and he/him are both male. Is Henty tired of his name and wants to be called he/him? they /them, who are these people, Male or female? Please explain this in terms that are not mumbo jumbo.
yes this is sooo suuuuuperintersting! i want to hear more about special people who want to feel special and get a special treatment from society.
😂🏆
You seem triggered. Go be conservative at a church or something man
👆🏻THIS👆🏻
Gee, I would like to hear more about these special people also, and how I can be made to feel special also.😀😀😀.
i identify as a penguin and my preferred pronouns are noot/noot, i just want to be understood
Finally, someone who will accept my pronouns. Queen, Most Beautiful, Highest Intelligence, Your Worship. Unless I'm wearing a rainbow bracelet and then my pronouns are Simply the Best and Unicorn Boss.
Oh, but if it's cloudy weather, just call me Cloud Bearer regardless of the bracelets etc.
It's all pretty straightforward really.
My gender, and so my entire sense of self worth, is tied to these pronouns and no-one will take me seriously. It's very disheartening.
No apologies is a very good move.
Love Unicorn Boss🤘🏽
Ok cloud bearer, it's raining today💦🌪️🌧️ alot...and I'm afraid I'm going to wash away, please help send the clouds away to somewhere else cloud bearer, the water is rising and I'm getting scared... I don't want to drown in the flood and wash away
.. 😜
Unicorn Boss is pretty good 👍
This some funny s...... Lol my pronouns
Care for an opposition view TedTalks
Completely bonkers
My adjectives are smart/beautiful. You are required to refer to me as such. Otherwise you are a bigot.
My pronouns are king/boss/lord
If this is the way that the world is going, I no longer wish to be a part of it.
As a college lecturer, will I eventually have to ask my students what their pronouns are? And will I risk disciplinary action if I refuse to acknowledge these ridiculous "pronouns"?
What is this world coming to?
I'm disgusted.
This is ridiculous😅
People are going backwards 🤣
This literally made me laugh out loud. No. None of this matters
Maybe watch it again and not play into self intrested and a singular perspective.
@@jacindaservantes3016 uhhhh huh ok 🤨
@@jacindaservantes3016 haha 😂 madness
Correct. This is all meaningless nonsense pushed by unserious people. New form of comedy imo.
@@jacindaservantes3016 maybe go get therapy if you're offended 😆 🤣
So many issues in the world, poverty and wars and yet people worry about superficial and silly things. if you are a trans, Instead of changing the way everybody speaks, try to change your sense of self worth, cause it shouldn't be tied to a pronoun. You can call me whatever pronoun, i know who I am therefore I'm not affected. Simple like that.
3:26 my world just got more complicated :-(
"If you don't know your biological gender, you are out of this world"
~Thor from Asgaard
i cant believe this is in a Tedx
9:34 I knew it!
It's all about power.
this comment section gives me hope
8:58 She didn't explicitly say it, but she implied that the high suicidality is directly linked to pronoun misuse. It seems a little misleading. The suicidality is linked to low acceptance of family and peers, and pronoun use is ONE thing that factors into acceptance. If you want to help these folks be less suicidal, then you need to accept them for who they are and respect them, and using their preferred pronouns is but one way of showing that.
Personally, I think neopronouns are super inconvenient and would much rather go in the direction of using one set of gender neutral pronouns for everyone, including cis people. But for now I'll just use neopronouns when it comes up because my convenience isn't more important than your identity.
Using correct grammar and not sounding illiterate is best way to show respect to everyone including yourself. Anyone committing suicide because others adhere to elementary English is probably beyond hope anyway.
You don’t affirm the voices of someone with a mental disorder, it is not the solution, nor are pronouns. Unfortunately there is no real medical or psychological help left, it has all been injected by pseudoscience and it will fail the people in question.
Can anyone link the research they're citing?
I believe they said it was sourced from The Trevor Project
When you dont have problems so you make them up
Yep. I guess that's what your comment is!
Wow..i lasted 4:28 and I could t go any further..what in the world is she talking about….
Matter to YOU, and that's where it stops.
"Mala you are such an inspiration"
5 seconds later: My prefer pronouns are Mala/Mal/ala/Aallaakhbar
Never ever accept someone else's pronoun demands. Do not give in to their fantasy.
Misgendering is the most astro turfed taboo in the modern age. Sometimes people mispeak, it happens when we fumble over our thoughts at times.
1:45 why they gotta be so extra complicated ?
I get very angry when people don't use my proper pronoun..."his Royal majesty"....or "My Lord"
I think inclusion is a worthy goal, but I think it’s dangerous to impose an expectation that those around you join you in your efforts to
“ deconstruction of the gender binary” on others around you. Refer to yourself and express yourself freely. But compelling certain speech from others is a bad and dangerous slippery slope.
By that measure asking men to help raise up womens rights and equality is just a huge imposition on them that shouldn't ever be asked. Yes, fighting for equality means getting as many people on board as necessary, otherwise the imbalance continues. See how that works. Am I saying that neopronouns aren't a pain? No, but they /them as a singular is not new. Ze/Zir or whatever is gonna take some time if that ever gets hold but I understand the reasoning behind it I just don't wanna learn it lol. New words or even better words adapted from other languages that have historical grounding like "ta" have value in our ability for language to grow and adapt. Theres nothing wrong w learning new words. Its when these neopronouns are not grammatical that bothers me. They/Them have always been used as singular gender nuetral it's just now that they are attached to an identity you aren't familiar w that it becomes the problem.
@@bravobytz1820 Everyone has equal rights under the law in America. This includes women and trans people. The left doesn't want "equal rights," they want special rights for only certain groups of people. Of course, they can't be honest about that.
Oh Lord! Now you're going after the word "Mankind" meaning humans? These people are so out of it; they're in a different world even when they explain this crazy shxt they always fumble over explaining this craziness. 🤣
I'm here to get my pronouns..... A well worth English class I mentioned
Speaking of being seen and respected, I personally do not feel either when those in my workplace try to force me to speak my pronouns when I *do not want* to. And then proceed to bully via shunning. I 100% respect those who identify as male who were formally female and vice versa, and obviously refer to them as a he if they present as a he and a her if they identify as a her. I have zero issues with it. But PLEASE DO NOT try to force compelled speech on me. It's just another form of tyranny, especially when your livelihood and mental health are affected. This is clearly a one-way street that disrespects those who do not want to be a part of it. Thanks.
Blah Blah Blah....
I love the Giant's fooball team...sometimes obsessed.
Doesn't make me a dude....it never will. Im a bioigical woman...wife....mother and teacher
The grooming community approves this Narrative!
I wonder how much she got paid for this?
My anger is that this woman has been hiding out in one of our top universities for 30 years planting these horrible ideas in our youth. How many more will we find if we have an honest assessment of our education system? Who reviews the madness our professors are teaching to our impressionable children? How was she not forced to defend this nonsense long ago? This is not progress. This is how you tear a society apart at its roots.
Yes. Agree
Gender pro nouns matter because you are a him or her. Language is very important. There needs to be set meanings so we can communicate. If we allow everyone to decided what words mean for them then we can't communicate.
That…..made no sense at all…
@@samiam8641 correction. It makes no sense to you. That's ok everyone doesn't have to understand everything you will be ok. Study a little and you will understand why people don't get to decide what words mean. Example saying a man is a women is a lie. Saying a women is a man is a lie. A man that thinks he is a women is mistaken. A women that thinks she is a man is mistaken.If you need further explanation ask your parents. Tell them you need to have "The Talk" they should know what you mean.
@@samiam8641 It made perfect sense. Not sure why your comment unless you don't understand English...? Strange...
I fear that your diatribe of non-sensical prattle was learned in a college classroom for a course you paid way too much to attend which hasn't given you the clairvoyance to find a decent paying job.
@@regulator7931The irony is palpable.
I don't honor preferred pronouns, you'll get what I decide to give you.
Remember everyone. These pronouns are all "preferred".
Yep those people don’t deserve others unearned respect
Unfortunately I don't agree when you say preferred..... in the moment that they ask for ... they pretend
As they should
Social distancing means the same thing for everybody but according to her pronouns don’t. What was her point again?
no
Pronouns are very easy to use.
Example.
'Did you speak to Jamie and Kamala yesterday?'
'I spoke to them, but she wasn't there.'
Nah but yall forcing us to call you sh like xem/xim/ximself like tf is that supposed to mean???
wtf does this mean
Forcing personal pronoun usage on the unwilling is bullying. Those who control the language control what people think and do.
Absolutely. You can call yourself whatever you want, but you have no right to demand I comply with your bizarre world view.
It's a dominance strategy. By accepting their pronouns, or giving your pronouns to someone if asked, they have gotten an implicit acceptance on your part.
ok....im a 2 spirit nonbinary penguin. My pronouns are Quack Quack
This is why people don’t respect professors anymore
Todays pronouns are: Herp/Derp
Pronouns? ..... I identify myself by My Ajectives, Which are .. Handsome & Brilliant,So you need to address me as those .
I just farted. And my pronouns are pen/is.
I think these gender pronouns are the most anti-trans / transphobic thing they could come up with. If I was trans and felt like a girl all my life, finally somehow i got there, i would've wanted everyone to use what they normally use for other women.
So true!
First you cross the barrier, then you destroy it.
That's quite the display of ignorance. People who choose use different pronouns just want to be respected and have those pronouns be used. If the transfers in wants to be called he she then they that's cool. The non-binary person wants to be called whatever they want to be called who cares? It's all about respect.
As an ally🤣🤣🤣
I have enough problems remembering my name, now I am supposed to remember everyone's pronouns because of some snowflakes tears?
They don't
I didn't know TEDx did comedy shows
Why does society have to cater to this generations ‘feelings’? Who cares if ‘ They’ describes your feelings. I just don’t get ịt
LOL thank you for your part in driving the stake through the heart of liberalism. You provided the world all we needed to validate your insanity. Signed Red/Rum
Why do people care so much about pronouns? I could care less what someone thinks of me. If you aren’t my family, or boss, then you have zero importance to me
I cant be forced to lie about whats right in front of me...I will not cave to this nonsense. Its either he or she. Lets stick to reality.
They do not want to hear MA in MAn woMAn ect. So MA MA MA MA MA MA MA MA MA MA MA MA MA MA MA MA LIVES!
Really??? When will this 15 minutes be over already
Too damn many rules. You're making it impossible to comply to your demands that we change our speech.
What pronouns do your pets use?