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XCOM: Enemy Unknown is Definitely a Perfectly Balanced Masterpiece
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- čas přidán 19. 08. 2024
- F for Benjamin.
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#wargame#gaming#memes
F for Ben
Quality content already in the beginning xD
I haven't watched the whole video yet i am very concerned......
F
F
"Who!?"
It’s not a crime against humanity if they aren’t humans
you are right
That's a good point
It's a crime against the universe then.
@@CapsFan117 I dont recall Earth ever signing the Saggitarus Concord
@@battleoid2411 Listen here you little shit
6:34 "Its time to take back Britain!"
*Deploys in the United States*
I mean... The first colonies were originally British, sooo... I dunno
@@thebirdgang2240 Return of the Red Coats 2: Electric Bungaloo!
Phase 1 has started standby for phase 2
Julian Monette funny how the Americans got beat by rice farmers with outdated tech
@Julian Monette Because the French don't brag about winning a revolution that someone else won for them.
That first few seconds sounded suspiciously like a history teacher trying to explain how WW1 started.
In this case, WW3
UK politics in a nut shell
"Bens doing great, he survived two missions!"
*Imperial Guard intensifies*
He could make it to sarge at this ra- aww, what a shame.
Valefisk gets arrested by the UN, 2019
and hanged by the allies
And after he gets hung by the allies the axis revive him and make him a war hero 😂
And after making him a war hero they shoot him for being a complete mad man
@@wt446 Then illegal aliens find his week old corpse in the bottom of some river, revive him, and make him leader of an alien fleet stationed over Earth.
@@Wortlethal And then XCOM 2 happens
He single handily made the aliens sign the Geneva convention
Just so he could break it against them
just so you don’t do it again, *handedly
"This mission right, this mission it's gonna go without a hitch, I promise" -Vale
*During that Mission Putin, a German leader, Nicola Sturgeon, Hutch and the GREAT Benjamin Disraeli fell.*
Superis hahahah a Germand leader
F for our boy Benjamin
"German Leader"
Do You Mean Adam Hilt Or More Commonly Known As [REDACTED]
Vale you forgot the cardinal rule.
Half-cover is for corpses.
Okay, that's funny as shit, but his problem wasn't that. He didn't understand that Plasma Carbines on anything less brain damaged than a Floater are each more powerful than the Infinity Gauntlet. At least early game.
Full-covers don't work much too.Need to combinate full-cover+smoke+overwatch to be invinsible
@@vverbov22 overwatch doesn't change anything.
@@intensellylit4100 Bots know you overwatch and will probably not try to flang you so it does.I checked it on impossible difficulty by myself.
@@vverbov22 True
A host of British politicians and yet the only thing that seems to be able to kick an alien back into space is an exploding car.
And British politicians making a plan ... rushing in... and ending up shooting eachother in the back of the head. Yeah that sounds about right.
It's always the exploding cars that get you.
All this tells me is that we should've used the IRA to fight back the aliens instead.
@@Joijoi69 Fuck I was gonna make that joke
let the rioters at the aliens
"The aliens didn't sign the Geneva Convention," Valefisk's defense in front of the UN during his trial at Nuremberg, Feb 2019
"I build medipacks but well we don't need them."
5min later
Everypne dies in one hit. Didn't need the kit though
sir are these "Aliens" actually just Irish people?
they are famine survivors
more like Irish "people"
IRA has escaped on the moon when they sight the armistice and formed the irish repubblican space army
"I'M GOING TO MAKE CROMWELL LOOK LIKE A FUCKING PACIFIST"
So I'm half Alien?
Man, Gordon Brown executing Margret Thatcher is easily the best part about this video.
The feels when THE cinematic activates on an enemy attacking your stacked colonel on one health.
yeah, thats the worst feeling EVER, its literally the game looking at you through the camera and going "I'm about to end this man's whole career" and there is nothing you can do about it if you are playing on ironman :(
@@ChronoTriggerHappy Are you assuming to reload the game? Ugh.
Proceeds with sniper
"We're gonna get them at close range"
"I'm gonna play this cautiously"
Spreads the squad across the battlefield, like a soft blanket..... In half cover
By god vale, this video physically hurt me, and pleased me at the same time. I want more
"Alien removal simulator"? Bold words for a legendary ironman run.
Well you are an alien from the alien's perspective
“And I’ll lob a second Frag grenade!”
I could already hear Vahlen the second you used grenades to kill.
"Corbyn take the left flank"
"Blair take the right" 😂😂
Benjamin Disraeli sounds like Ben Shapiro's porn name.
@Jagd Panther Collectivized.
After he got destroyed by BBC, LOL
As the world burns due to the ineptitude of the commander, a lone soldier stands on a hill, moves the mouthpiece of his bugle to his lips, and plays taps with a resonance that circles the globe. He lowers his horn, salutes, and as a lone tear streaks down his cheek, he whispers a single syllable into the winds of a dying planet. "F"
Hitler look out, that thin man is shooting at you!
Oh no he has airpods in, he can't hear us!
Woah! Thanks for the heart Valefisk
Holy shit 242 likes!
Never understood how that "meme" is supposed to be funny
@@thekenjistream8683
Humor is subjective.
@@bigslurpee2078
Yeaaah nah. If you need to explain a joke, it's a bad one.
Or it's an (deep) inside joke
@@thekenjistream8683
Well if you're the one guy who doesn't get it, maybe it's not an issue with the joke.
@@bigslurpee2078
Well what is so funny about Air pods ?
Because other than the fact you look stupid with these plastic junks in the ears, I don't get the joke.
Also I seriously highly doubt I'm the only one who doesn't get the joke. People recognize it because some dudes repeat the joke but that doesn't make it funny.
The iron lady sunk like a stone
Uh... sunk like... iron?
@@trygveplaustrum4634 yeah but that doesnt have the same ring to it
XCOM is a very serious game that takes itself very seriously. It is totally a very serious situation and requires players who take everything that happens super seriously. It in no way is secretly a meme generator and a rip-roaring good time.
I love this goddamn series.
Benjamin was like a main hero in a movie... enemies that kills everyone with one shoot, magically starts to miss...
I always was infuriated and thought it was stupid that if a trooper panics they suddenly decide blasting their allies’s heads apart is a good idea. I’m not sure how plausible stuff like that is, but I suck enough without my jackass rookie seeing another rookie die then coming to the conclusion that the only answer is to score a critical on a Colonel right next to him who was the only one capable of killing a berserker that was about to bear down on both of them.
Needless to the say a “misplaced” rocket found him before the berserker did.
And this is why not many people play tabletop or games that aren't railroaded.
You do realise that they're not taking turns either and it's just a gameplay mechanic, right? They haven't decided to kill your colonel, they're just panicking and shooting at any sign of movement they see in peripheral vision, going for the one closest and thus most dangerous to them.
TheArklyte
Semantics, I do realize that, but I still SUCK!
PS I’m making an ass of myself for laughs, so LAUGH!
In the ORIGINAL (1994) game a panicked soldier would use all of their time units to shoot randomly, often resulting in friendly fire.
It was part of the charm & I think the "panicked" behaviour was MEANT to recreate it, but it just doesn't convey the same feel. The limitations of the "simplified" simulation :P
It just requires a bit more suspension of disbelief!
@@DmGray You'll have that suspension of disbelief until someone primes a grenade and then aims it, straight-up aims it, at some of his own squad. At that point, suspension of disbelief goes out the window and I call bullshit. I can do it for the shots on a close ally because of the peripheral movement and proximity thing with guns or even a sword, but not for explosives. If I've learned anything, it's that the panic evidently can't be very realistic because the behavior of the panicked person makes it look very clearly like they're acting as a temporary enemy to send a cascade of bad down on you rather than actually acting in panic. They will literally run to flank your own guys for maximum chance of doing damage, gain distance from their own allies and then chuck a grenade between them: that's not panic, that's betrayal.
@@TheArklyte you speak lie
17:40
"We're not going to get this guy if we are not careful"
Proceeds to dash into unknown territory.
Wait isnt this playthough canon considering in the sequel it comfirms you lost in the invasion
I thought it was common knowledge that XCOM's foot soldiers were politicians, all of whom were shot by aliens or each other in the first 3 missions.
*X-com: Enemy Possibly Found?*
Enemy Poorly Negotiated With
XCOM: Get Fucked
@@percher4824 X-com: I hope you didn't like that fucking character.
ShadyyPasta
XCOM: Miss at 99% Accuracy I Mean What the Fuck Come on Guys Your Guns Are Literally Right in Their Faces
Actually the sequal is called xcom2 dispite their being like 6 games and it doesnt even take place after eu. Apparently its an alternate universe where the aliens own the planet and you are the commander of the rebel alliance straight out of star wars.
"We're playing cautious"
Everybody is in half cover.
Nobody tell him Enemy Within has
BIG Mechs with *FLAMETHROWERS*
This is Enemy Unknown. Also Kinetic Strike gang. Flamethrower bad.
Tbh xcom enemy within allows you to build mechs *that can use flamethrowers* so technically you can still break the geneva convention
Oh noes i gave him another idea
Hahahahaha, how cute... I don't recall the aliens signing it!
Also, serious note, does the Geneva convention technically apply to "aliens" as well?
@@bluecaptainIT oh crap i forgot about that detail
UK politics is a dangerous place.....
Funny seeing you here
I'll never forget the day I quit this game
I deployed the cast of Friends to a UFO crash site. When I moved them up, Joey was blindsided by a sectoid, luckily he dodged the shots fired at him. I tried to return fire with a 90% hit chance, but he missed. The sectoid returned fire and hit Joey for a critical 5 damage, causing him to panic and shoot Monica in the back, killing her instantly. The next turn, Chandler had to put Joey down and I put the game down and refuse to play it.
Total Ross move.
Just so you know, parties to the geneva convention are still bound by it even when dealing with enemies that did not sign it.
That being said, I doubt human rights apply to non-humans.
That's not true at all. Most countries that have signed the conventions still abide by them even when their opponents are not party to them. Furthermore even against enemies that are signatories there are several provisions that if broken, free the other country from abiding by the conventions. For example - if country A and country B both signed and go to war - then country B sends military forces against country A while disguised as civilians - country A no longer has to abide by the conventions.
"That being said, I doubt Human rights apply to non-humans"
Josef Mengele Circa 1945, Nuremberg Trials
"OH MY GOD IT'S THE ALIENS, how did they get across the border?" XD DUDE! I'm Mexican but this made be laugh SO HARD. Good one.
Ahhh 360p, the only true way to watch a Valefisk video
Best first ten seconds impression I've had in a long time
4:48
"This is an intro XCOM video"
>never makes an XCOM video again :D.
Wtf you predicted Ukrainian Boris????
we now need a second episode, Joseph Goebbels' revenge
If your soldiers are shooting each other just name them after American high school students.
Sgt. Klebold reporting for duty SIR.
Now, where is it that you keep all your guns...?
Plot twist they aren't aliens
This is REAL XCOM! Please make more videos like this! I hate walkthroughs in which the player just wins every time. Your video is REAL!
Big like! And big respect for your honesty!
Watching vale sit in half cover and exchange fire with outsiders gives me physic pain
We need a mars convention to stop valefisk
Adolf HItler?! Man, I loved that guy. He's the guy who pulled off that World Party 2 didn't he? Inspiring fella.
He’s a fan of camping spends a lot of time trying to make the best camp ever
"what do they have like five sectopods"
vale thats what you call foreshadowing
Rumours has it that blair was looking for Aliens of Mass Destruction
how ww3 started lol
8:53 jesus, that alien got sent back into space.
My starting four squad team in any Xcom game is always the A Team. Hannibal, Face, Murdock and B. A. Baracus make up my team and if one of them dies I reload the mission.
When the squad start increase I start adding in the T800, Rambo, Rocky, Snake Pliskin, Solid Snake and the likes making it the weirdest action Crossover ever or maybe just a well done Expendables sequel.
There are probably going to be a few fast and furious characters thrown about in there as well.
I'm gonna play this cautiously, 1 minute later, everyone dies.
They aliens are about to get deported, hah, goteem
“We’ve got to get Hitler out of there. Hitler! Hitler, no! NO!” -Valefisk, upon hearing of Hitler’s death, 2019.
Stop giving the UN more reasons to arrest you
I need this to be a complete series it's really entrtaining
About time the UK Parliament did something about all those illegal aliens running around!
"We Put Margarete Thatcher in Overwatch." Please don't Blizzard any more ideas.
"who then shot Margaret Thatcher in the back of the head" you had my intrigued click, now you have my attention
Haven't seen vanilla XCOM in years! Thank you for this masterpiece and the raging PTSD it brought back to me :D RIP Ben.
360p we meet again
Impossible/Legendary Iron man difficulty, huh? Welcome aboard brother, beat it and you'll earn your rightful place among us.
of all the words you could have used...
@@papercliphoarder66 Kinda sus
While graphics in the new version is a tremendous improvement, I still regret not being able to pick up objects left on the ground by another member squad (when killed or when he/She tosses it) or a killed alien. The possibility to shoot on an obstacle to take it down is also suppressed.
While I vastly prefer the new games due to the improvement of both gameplay (imo) and user friendliness I definitely miss actually sending a small army every mission, it's just an idea that I love so much, it makes it feel like an actual war
That with the flag is certainly a violation of the idea of the Good Friday Agreement. xD
Three years later, and who'd have thought that Boris being Ukrainian would be so accurate.
12:05 best joke i've heard since the parliament offered to accept No-Deal Brexit
Ha ha ha ha ah
I hate this fucking country
10 seconds in an I'm hooked on how we even ended up in this situation.
"Thanks for listening to the polls mate"
13:22 : oh... you missed
me : uhh... are you actually not seeing the hit percentage or you just play it quickly without looking around first ??
*facepalm MISSED
Please make this a full series of possible. This is pure internet gold and it deserves all of our love.
Using XCOM to predict future politics
Where is Ben Shapiro?
You lost because you did not have enough Ben Shapiro
Oh, i didn't realize it was _actually_ gonna be EU and not EW ;d
Well, more opportunities to come i suppose :D
*Ah, got to the part where you say it's the intro video. Would like to see more of that, absolutely :D.
Damn that one sniper watching all his friends die horribly, then being the last one surrounded on 2 fronts, respect from me F.
For the people in 2021, here is how you beat xcom: enemy unknown
Step 1: dont die (luck based)
Step 2: invest into MECs. Specifically equip them with the Bitch-Slapper-9000
Step 3: don’t even worry about the gene lab until later.
Step 4: use the robots to bitch slap anything brave and/or stupid enough to get within 5 meters of this several ton mass of steel and pure kinetic energy and send them flying into orbit at mach 20.
Step 5: miss a %99 shot with giant ass gun (because in xcom, if its not %100, its a 50/50.)
Step 6: doesn’t matter this thing is a literal tank.
Step 7: just fucking rush them
Step 8: falcon punch that alien motherfucker
Step 9: win.
Its that easy (if you are insanely lucky.)
Well, you can canonically take XCOM2 and have no problem with authors shanking all your progress at least:D
But seriosly, why not try Xenonauts next time?
hahahahah the Arlene Foster joke got me good Tiocfaidh ar la.
me_ira
Me entering video: huh no ads... thast wierd
Valefisk 5 minutes later; Adolf Hitler the famous british politician
"I will only be doing missions that give me money"
Dear god... this can only end well!
Who is waiting for the "Fortnite: a perfectly balanced masterpiece
Between you and Spiffing brit
Im a happy man
"Oh fuck. Okay, bye."
*my computer crashes*
Hey Valefisk it would be super cool if you did a play through like this of the full game.
Install xcom 2 then install the Cold War 2 mod
This isn’t real xcom...
Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Yes it is you dweeb
Real XCOM is UFO Defense. Remake might be good, but it's not real XCOM.
Siht desrever ouy fi Dren a er’ouy lul gotta love when people don’t get an obvious joke
Cassu6 I really just wanted to call someone a dweeb
@@alphabimbleton8172 ah well understandable. have a great day
1:45 this move was physically painful to watch as an xcom enthusiast.
This is an interessting question. Does the Geneva Convention apply to aliens? I mean, there are so many wonderfull inventions of mankind we could show them. For example: white phosphorus, nerve gas, or everyone's favorite sport: waterboarding.
I would say no. In case of alien invasion the gloves are off
Would nerve gas effect them? Theyre nervous system would probavly be different then ours but hey it's worth a shot. Just hope mustard gas isn't like steroids to them or something
Of course we would invent something that works "properly" just for them. In the end we humans are quite resourcefull and absolutely generous people.
No, Geneva and Hague conventions both only apply to countries who have signed them.
The only channel on CZcams which has 2 world leaders, born nearly a century apart, fighting aliens....
God I love this channel...
The cemetery map is brutal almost any time. Let alone your starter mission for Ironman/Impossible.
There is some irony though of it forcing your troops to use short little tombstones as cover.
1:08 Vale this is where the Space Force comes in
My A-Level history teacher was a staunch Gladstonian and bad-mouthed Disraeli whenever he got the chance. This video brought back good memories.
I feel like that opening accurately describes the last 24 hours of UK politics.
I suggest watching pete complete's xcom enemy within playthrough it's really good
1:38 I probably couldnt expect that more
That Margret Thatcher Joke was fucking gold
ALL XCOM GAMES:
Fires on Sectoid at point blank range: MISS!
Sectoid fires diagonally 320 yards across the field, through two windows and a key hole at Your favorite squaddie in full cover: CRITICAL HIT! [Squaddie Dies]
Anyone who tells you differently is a liar.
have you played xcom long war. its a mod you can download from nexus. Jake Soloman the main person behind the game says that the long war mod turns the orignal game into a 20 hour tutorial and turns the game into a 300 hour game. it adds so much more to the game, you can end up with 80+ men in the barracks. the MOD so well liked that when they released part 2 they actually had the people behind the MOD assist them with some things with the new game and bring out some mods on release day
the man that made blitzkrieg is an assault class 10/10
Valefisk's Anti-Alien Penal Squad
I saw the picture and my XCOM PTSD kicked in.