Would Bert Kreischer Recognize His Own D*** Pic? - Answer the Internet

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  • čas přidán 7. 11. 2021
  • ‪@bertkreischer‬ makes his long awaited return to Answer the Internet.
    Leave your weird, crazy hypotheticals in the comments. We'll feature them on the show.
    We've collected the Internet's dumbest questions over the last 9 years on our podcast KFC Radio and put Bert Kreischer to the test.
    Get Tickets to Bert's tour at BertBertBert.com
    Download the podcast for a full interview:
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    #AnswerTheInternet #BertKreischer
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Komentáře • 585

  • @AnswertheInternet
    @AnswertheInternet  Před 2 lety +59

    Subscribe and leave a comment who you want to see on ATI below!
    barstool.link/ATI

    • @jamesmauricio6180
      @jamesmauricio6180 Před 2 lety +2

      HEY CRISTINA P

    • @pizzle58
      @pizzle58 Před 2 lety

      Mark Normand (Kevin Hart)

    • @alexcavoli6191
      @alexcavoli6191 Před 2 lety

      I dont wash my hands because Ive had my dick directly in girls mouths and they didnt wash their hands before or after so...

    • @DapBino
      @DapBino Před 2 lety

      You guys need to get bert again lol this was too funny!

    • @Thumper68
      @Thumper68 Před 2 lety

      If you could get Ben Shapiro I think it would be hilarious🤣

  • @phobototran3247
    @phobototran3247 Před 2 lety +1354

    "I got a 130 pound beast on the bed, I'm fighting the dog" killed me😂😂😂

  • @toploc7520
    @toploc7520 Před 2 lety +293

    “What a women”
    “What a pair of balls”
    Those dudes were on two different thought processes.

  • @roydonk2262
    @roydonk2262 Před 2 lety +755

    Bert can be all over the place sometimes, but when he is on he is a killer. He absolutely murdered this, top 5 all time ATI.

    • @AnswertheInternet
      @AnswertheInternet  Před 2 lety +28

      Thanks for watchin Michael! Who do you want to see on the show next?

    • @pizzle58
      @pizzle58 Před 2 lety +53

      @@AnswertheInternet Mark Normand

    • @roydonk2262
      @roydonk2262 Před 2 lety +21

      @@AnswertheInternet Ryan Sickler, Anthony Jeselnik, Kyle Kinane, Tom Papa.

    • @jorn6644
      @jorn6644 Před 2 lety +29

      @@AnswertheInternet JOEY MFN DIAZ

    • @zorrakas320
      @zorrakas320 Před 2 lety +9

      @@AnswertheInternet definitely mark normand. Dope to see you guys still want feedback.

  • @thirdplanetman9468
    @thirdplanetman9468 Před 2 lety +559

    Bert absolutely nailed that Theo impression. Got his mindset as close as you can get it, without being Theo himself. That man's brain is a bucket of incredible. Both of them to be honest.

  • @sheffcoleman3518
    @sheffcoleman3518 Před rokem +112

    I just came across the clip and nearly died when Bert said “Will Smith don’t wash his hands after pissing” and suddenly thought about poor Chris Rock. Lmao. Hilarious content. Love Bert the Machine.

    • @jon5one7
      @jon5one7 Před rokem +1

      😂 bro got the piss slapped onto and out of him.

    • @Coastfog
      @Coastfog Před rokem

      Lol

  • @knarf_barf
    @knarf_barf Před 2 lety +260

    My favorite part about Bert is that he is actually excited to be there and enjoying every minute of it; whereas some other guests on ATI only have 5 minute videos and they just have an air of “I’m not getting paid enough to do this” and seem rather arrogant. Love pretty much everything about The Machine

    • @AnswertheInternet
      @AnswertheInternet  Před 2 lety +56

      He did this directly after a two hour interview. Guy’s the absolute best in the biz!

  • @andyfalls6208
    @andyfalls6208 Před 2 lety +537

    Checked to see if this was the longest episode of ATI, found that Burnt already holds the record.

    • @Avalon1204
      @Avalon1204 Před 2 lety +25

      His name is Brent dumbass lol

    • @TheCurrykiev
      @TheCurrykiev Před 2 lety +24

      @@Avalon1204 it's Brack. Fucks sake.

    • @DrDookieDrawls
      @DrDookieDrawls Před 2 lety +14

      I’m pretty sure it’s Bart

    • @coreyprice6801
      @coreyprice6801 Před 2 lety +9

      Yeah bretts first one was 17 minutes+ dude loves to talk! That’s why we love him.

    • @Mike-pn8ln
      @Mike-pn8ln Před 2 lety +4

      I thought it was Bruce

  • @DoUgIeRuLz
    @DoUgIeRuLz Před 2 lety +241

    The English and German accents were hilarious coming out of his face

    • @LifeSucks24
      @LifeSucks24 Před 2 lety +1

      British sounded more Australian lmao

    • @DYLANJJK94
      @DYLANJJK94 Před rokem

      RaiderMatt86 It could depend on where in Australia and England they are.

  • @skyluke9476
    @skyluke9476 Před 2 lety +116

    Bert always has the longest interviews, because he will spend 6 hours talking to a dude at a bar about styrophome manufacturing

  • @mdougf
    @mdougf Před 2 lety +80

    Wow, Bert is the best at this segment. Other people can seem forced about it. Bert fucking killed this so naturally. He’s a special dude, love him or hate him

  • @whskytngo
    @whskytngo Před 2 lety +107

    Sounds nothing like Theo Von but sounds exactly like what Theo Von would say.

  • @KatieDeGo
    @KatieDeGo Před 2 lety +38

    Dude Bert is definitely the type of dude who seems like you could sit and have a beer with and never run out of things to talk about. Such a cool guy 😎

  • @thepowerofmyth
    @thepowerofmyth Před 2 lety +86

    Ngl, bert killed this.

    • @toastedjoe1013
      @toastedjoe1013 Před 2 lety +1

      At first, I thought you were telling Nigel, Bert's alter-ego.

  • @ws8061
    @ws8061 Před 2 lety +38

    "Can you still go to your barber if he's racist"
    "I feel like this isn't for a white guy"
    Lmao

  • @codyholt9797
    @codyholt9797 Před 2 lety +56

    The Theo Von joke really got me 😂

  • @DadsCigaretteRun
    @DadsCigaretteRun Před 2 lety +37

    Bert is the master of not answering the question at all 😂😂

    • @im-not-me893
      @im-not-me893 Před 2 lety +3

      He won’t answer directly or even at all sometimes, but he’ll give you a hell of a funny quip or story. Really just a rollercoaster with him lol

  • @EdoKwin
    @EdoKwin Před 2 lety +42

    2:51 - The sweet part about this is the implication that his wife is the girl of his dreams

    • @justinleonard6183
      @justinleonard6183 Před 2 lety

      I think he’s in love with himself he watches his own standup and podcasts and laughs

  • @conservat1vepatr1ot
    @conservat1vepatr1ot Před 2 lety +49

    “Umber Kryshir”?
    We’ve all been saying his name wrong.. that or we aren’t hopeless alcoholics that were hammered during this recording..

  • @Arthur-ek7nd
    @Arthur-ek7nd Před 2 lety +148

    Bert "I'm not an alcoholic because I exercise despite drinking 6 days/nights a week" Krystal

    • @traceyrice4978
      @traceyrice4978 Před 2 lety +4

      It's pretty wild that I drink 7 days a week, never work out, and am not yet a burnt Chrysler

    • @guywithalltheanswers6942
      @guywithalltheanswers6942 Před 2 lety

      I'm just trying to delude my self. I work out hard and drink hard but I know it's stupid. Being an alcoholic fucking sucks. Stupid genes.

    • @mandolorian162
      @mandolorian162 Před 2 lety

      @@traceyrice4978 same, lol not bragging by any means but like 6-12 a day depending on work and what not and still only like 115lbs

    • @obiwankenobi9439
      @obiwankenobi9439 Před 2 lety

      @@guywithalltheanswers6942 yeah.. It's those genes alright 😂😂

    • @chiefwawawa
      @chiefwawawa Před 2 lety

      @@obiwankenobi9439 that mickey mantle gene bruhbruh

  • @adamsmith544
    @adamsmith544 Před 2 lety +40

    I was at Bert’s first set in Philly for Secret Time. I thought he absolutely killed it. Almost liked it better than the taping since it was raw and the ad libs thrown in.

  • @slugemonkey313
    @slugemonkey313 Před 2 lety +52

    Pound-for-pound Bert is coming into his comedic prime. This video was gold and I’m grateful I exist in the same time period as him. A living legend.

  • @roguesample
    @roguesample Před 2 lety +12

    Lmao at Bert talking about how Theo would be easy to kidnap

  • @MrNicvdb
    @MrNicvdb Před 2 lety +21

    How nice of the ATI crew. They have Tom on last week and now they do him a solid by having his tik toked buddy come on. What great guys!

  • @averyeastman5681
    @averyeastman5681 Před 2 lety +23

    LMAO his Theo Von voice is fucking amazing. "GIMMIE SOME OF thEM HAMSTERS... Why yall got gloves?"

    • @dzd2371
      @dzd2371 Před 2 lety +1

      This a wrasslin van? Too funny!

    • @MR-jd1yo
      @MR-jd1yo Před 2 lety

      too perfect i herd theo in my mind

  • @robertaBooey69
    @robertaBooey69 Před 2 lety +15

    I normally don’t do this with people is the greatest line 🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂

  • @snakebutts2000
    @snakebutts2000 Před 2 lety +6

    He looks like a beaver. Love him.

  • @Trevenclaw
    @Trevenclaw Před 2 lety +16

    What makes Brent the best is that he parties like a maniac and relishes life, but also loves his wife and kids SO much. If he cheated on his wife he'd be a sad sack but because he doesn't he's rad.

  • @nikolasspring
    @nikolasspring Před 2 lety +8

    That Theo van impression was spot on 😂

  • @highferaltruth
    @highferaltruth Před 2 lety +26

    "i'm on blood thinners. i take baby aspirin." lmao

  • @jedediah7772
    @jedediah7772 Před 2 lety +1

    Loved this! Very funny, thanks 😄

  • @LifeSucks24
    @LifeSucks24 Před 2 lety +1

    Been waiting for this one. Thanks ATI

  • @DekkarJr
    @DekkarJr Před 2 lety +5

    *Everyday that passes I get even more amazed and impressed that Bert Kreischer is still alive* .

  • @DapBino
    @DapBino Před 2 lety +11

    Bert is legendary lol his like the uncle everyone needs 😂

  • @amandamarie740
    @amandamarie740 Před 2 lety +1

    Bert is one of the most genuine people, and it’s like it’s bc he can’t be any other way lol love him

  • @Phi1618033
    @Phi1618033 Před 2 lety +32

    Bart was made for this game.

  • @queefqueefington
    @queefqueefington Před 2 lety +10

    Wow didnt expect to see Bart Chrysler doing this!

  • @DGRIFF
    @DGRIFF Před 2 lety +3

    Bert did more than crush this show, he taught you all how to manage the film lol

  • @withcharlie6059
    @withcharlie6059 Před 2 lety +6

    Touch my camera through the fence Brad chrysler!

  • @spicypretzel7616
    @spicypretzel7616 Před 2 lety +3

    Him sayin Wiz Khalifa instead of Mia khalifa was the funniest shit 😂

  • @buckkuu
    @buckkuu Před 2 lety +2

    I love how Bert can just talk lol.

  • @PS-fn5xv
    @PS-fn5xv Před rokem +1

    funny when he said "I wish that worked for standup" when it clearly did with his "the machine" bit :D

  • @ricenbeenz...
    @ricenbeenz... Před 2 lety +4

    Dude I thought he was gonna cry when when he was answering the question about his wife banging his worst enemy

  • @wolffyward
    @wolffyward Před rokem +1

    Burnt Chrysler still hates John Mayer 😂

  • @ThankYouYoureWelcome
    @ThankYouYoureWelcome Před 2 lety +2

    Warm toilet seat had me cracking up! 😂

  • @rebelcities8200
    @rebelcities8200 Před 2 lety +1

    Actually one of the better English accents. Love you Burnt x

  • @KevinsDisobedience
    @KevinsDisobedience Před 2 lety +2

    I’ve seen a lot of comedians bomb on this show. Bert gets it.

  • @cb7pwn
    @cb7pwn Před 2 lety

    Bert is out of his god damn mind. And I love it

  • @makaizuniga4352
    @makaizuniga4352 Před 2 lety +6

    “Wiz Khalifa😭”

  • @spyderg2138
    @spyderg2138 Před 2 lety +6

    Dude is way funnier than I thought he was.

  • @ARKHAMxMaverick
    @ARKHAMxMaverick Před 2 lety +17

    Confirmed - Bert nails EVERY impression he does.

    • @thergal
      @thergal Před 2 lety +2

      Haha yeah his british sounding polish guy was amazing

  • @thatmg
    @thatmg Před 2 lety +1

    8:24 THATS A LEGIT GREAT JOKE!

  • @vedantshinde697
    @vedantshinde697 Před 2 lety +2

    This segment is made for Bert!

  • @unclebeav5886
    @unclebeav5886 Před 2 lety +4

    Is this a wrastlin' van!?!? 🤣😂

  • @radiowoe5517
    @radiowoe5517 Před 2 lety +1

    Bert is a wild man

  • @zchrymtthw1993
    @zchrymtthw1993 Před rokem +1

    The Theo Von impression is golden! 🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @crimsonsky97
    @crimsonsky97 Před 2 lety

    Dude is a gem

  • @brandonm8901
    @brandonm8901 Před 2 lety +1

    I love how similar Burnt Chrysler's English and Polish accents are

  • @anthonyderr1943
    @anthonyderr1943 Před 2 lety

    Bert is the best to ever do this

  • @GrantCline
    @GrantCline Před 2 lety +1

    Bert is the best!

  • @cptdarkon5946
    @cptdarkon5946 Před 2 lety +6

    When Janikowski was with the Seahawks I was at the stadium for warm ups. He came over to the side line in his gear but no helmet, opened his gym bag and grabbed a FAT wad of dip, chunked it in his mouth and went out to practice kicks. The dude is such a beast it was like watching an old WWII moving around on the field. It was the coolest thing I've ever seen

  • @stinkyfinger777
    @stinkyfinger777 Před 2 lety +1

    The Theo Von kidnapping thing got me. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @ruxtonau
    @ruxtonau Před 2 lety +1

    Bort knows all about being a crazy person :P

  • @DeezNuts-iq6kw
    @DeezNuts-iq6kw Před 2 lety +8

    Ahhh good ol' Bart Chrystler my favorite alcoholic comedian!

  • @TheAsquiro
    @TheAsquiro Před 2 lety

    Bert is a fookin rockstar!

  • @randomshit2229
    @randomshit2229 Před 2 lety +1

    7:20 “well shit gang gang son!” Lmao that Theo von impersonation was hilarious 😂😂

  • @Green_Gold
    @Green_Gold Před 2 lety +42

    I've heard Bert say a thousand disgusting things but hearing that he likes freshly warmed toilet seats from a stranger is maybe the most disgusting thing ever

  • @pawdre5151
    @pawdre5151 Před 2 lety

    Hell yeah I love Brent

  • @dalelane1948
    @dalelane1948 Před 2 lety +8

    Gee this Brett guy can talk! This is easily the longest one of these ever! Did he even answer any of the questions?

  • @bigboomer3841
    @bigboomer3841 Před 6 měsíci

    The only thing worse than a cold toilet seat is a warm one---- Everyone but Burt

  • @Eriey3
    @Eriey3 Před 2 lety +4

    Bruce Kersher my favorite comedian!

  • @CalTxDude
    @CalTxDude Před rokem

    The guy who mentions Janikowski...Wow!!! LoL
    No wonder they had to use closed capturing!!

  • @SHADOWBEAR82763
    @SHADOWBEAR82763 Před rokem +1

    Leaving a restroom years ago, a guy at the sink noticed that I hadn't stopped to wash and said "My daddy taught me to wash after I pee, I guess yours didn't." I smiled and replied "No, he taught me not to piss on my hands.'

  • @devonclose2606
    @devonclose2606 Před 2 lety +1

    His face right before he said a thousand dudes hahahah

  • @VentureGroms
    @VentureGroms Před 2 lety +1

    His impersonation of Theo is hilarious

  • @jonlev5911
    @jonlev5911 Před 2 lety

    Just subscribed. 😂

  • @EarlyBirdArms
    @EarlyBirdArms Před 2 lety +5

    Mia obviously isn’t gonna be known as a sports fan 🤣

  • @asdfjkl74able
    @asdfjkl74able Před 2 lety +1

    I didnt know Theo Von was by name but the impression was so good I knew 100% who he was talking about

  • @zgiW
    @zgiW Před 2 lety +9

    "I might get a tighter cut" that was quick holy moly 11:20

    • @zgiW
      @zgiW Před 2 lety

      aaand Brent has ruined it by liking a strangers warm toilet seat

  • @lawbl5415
    @lawbl5415 Před rokem +1

    First question, instant Bort lies. Classic.

  • @marcherrera23
    @marcherrera23 Před 2 lety

    “What a pair of balls” 😂😂🤣

  • @adamsauve
    @adamsauve Před 2 lety +2

    Brent Chrystler is everywhere right now

  • @keenanlarsen1639
    @keenanlarsen1639 Před 2 lety +1

    His Will Smith story aged beautifully.
    "Let me tell you the key to Hollywood...."

  • @Thumper68
    @Thumper68 Před 2 lety +1

    I’d take the personal bathroom and bring a TV tray from home it’s now a personal office as well!

  • @maui1526
    @maui1526 Před 2 lety +1

    Film idea for bert. Comedy film obviously; Bert's gambling debt leads him to rob a bank, at which, Theo von is withdrawing a large sum after winning a bet. (Lobster fighting), he then takes Theo hostage, they end up on a plan, piloted by ari, Bert hijacks the plane, does some sky king shit (shout out Seattle) but then, right before berts about to make his escape, he realizes ari and Theo took the money and jumped DB Cooper style. Where does they're adventure lead? Find out next time I smoke an absurd amount of weed after not sleeping for a couple days

  • @MR-jd1yo
    @MR-jd1yo Před 2 lety

    wow that theo bit killed me haha

  • @myphonesmail4me
    @myphonesmail4me Před 2 lety +1

    0:14 I thought this was a troll video and the rest of this video was gonna be this.

  • @matthewmc4363
    @matthewmc4363 Před rokem

    The bathroom joke.
    Somebody warmed this up for me.
    Boarding school.

  • @shannonrenis8063
    @shannonrenis8063 Před rokem

    Lmfao 😂😂😂 if it takes 9 minutes it's not being done right. That's funny.

  • @fixednstoned861
    @fixednstoned861 Před 2 lety

    “What a pair of balls” 😂😂😂😂😂😂

  • @TGXPlatiNum
    @TGXPlatiNum Před 2 lety +2

    This Barf Chrysler guy is pretty funny

  • @heavypootisspencerguy2266

    GI Jane 2 can’t wait to see it

  • @jellis9618
    @jellis9618 Před rokem

    Goddammit Bert is hilarious.

  • @MauiWowieOwie
    @MauiWowieOwie Před rokem

    10:25 I don't know if I've ever ;laughed more

  • @pim5490
    @pim5490 Před 2 lety +3

    Brent Krystler.....lol

  • @ImFerb
    @ImFerb Před 2 lety

    i love bert

  • @dakotaflora6998
    @dakotaflora6998 Před 8 měsíci

    1 time pass to commit any crime would easily be a high speed chase from the police

  • @callansparnon4160
    @callansparnon4160 Před 2 lety +2

    Does anyone see the hair in the bottom right hand side of the camera lens

  • @jacobstanley6578
    @jacobstanley6578 Před 2 lety +1

    ahhhhh Bert Chrysler

  • @JALA578
    @JALA578 Před 2 lety

    Things that didn't age well... That opener hahaha