This is How You Can Counteract Negative Thoughts (Morning Routine)
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- čas přidán 15. 06. 2024
- Welcome to today's discussion where we address a common yet challenging scenario: waking up to a barrage of negative thoughts. If you find yourself starting your day with an overwhelming flood of negativity, it could be a specific example of a mood disorder or even indicative of a depressive episode.
Healthy Gamer Coaching designed by Dr. K: bit.ly/3Q318lG
Dr. K’s Guide to Mental Health: bit.ly/45NirwY
In this video, we'll explore practical strategies and insights on how to navigate these difficult mornings. We'll delve into the complexities of this experience, acknowledging that waking up with a stream of negative thoughts can be distressing and might indicate underlying mental health concerns.
Dr. Alok Kanojia is a Harvard-trained psychiatrist who specializes in the health and happiness of people who grew up online. He is the cofounder and President of Healthy Gamer, a subclinical mental wellness platform that makes premium content and coaching resources.
For more mental health resources: explore.healthygamer.gg/menta...
Find us on Instagram, Twitter, TikTok, and more here: wlo.link/@healthygamer
▼ Timestamps ▼
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00:00 - Preview
00:17 - Reddit post
00:35 - Signs of mood disorder
02:27 - Negative thoughts and what to do about them
07:23 - Spiralling
10:12 - Counteracting negative thoughts
15:41 - Conclusion
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DISCLAIMER
Healthy Gamer is an online community and resource platform for gamers and their families. It does not provided medical services or professional counseling, and it is not a substitute for professional medical care. Our coaches are peer supporters, not professionally trained experts, and they cannot provide medical service. If you or a loved on are experiencing an emergency, please call your nation's emergency telephone number. All guests of Healthy Gamer are informed of the public, non-medical nature of the content and have expressly agreed to share their story.
#healthygamergg #negativethoughts
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You can learn more here: bit.ly/3FDSSDm
I love him so much, you were such an amazing podcast or/psychiatrist/just everything. I just watched your episode on Chris Williamson and I’m just completely floored at how brilliant you are.
Don't use tech first thing in the morning
Allow yourself to grieve and don't try to fix the problem when you're feeling terrible. You can't fix problems in the wrong mindset
Avoid alcohol, narcotics first thing in the morning
Clean or walk first thing in the morning
Assign a time to think negatively and deal with it when you're clear-headed
got it, alcohol and narcotics later in the day
@@JohnSmith-mu8fx real shit 😂😂😂
It’s not bad for you as long as you do it 12.01pm or later /s
How do you deal it when you already assign a time?
I had periods in my life when I woke up already half dead. I had such bad mood that only weed could bring be back to life. When I used my gravity bong I had two rivers of tears on both cheeks. So I find such pieces of advice without context absolutely delusional.
I know the "no technology/social media" advice gets old but it's so accurate in this case. I have found an EXTREME difference in my day's overall mood when I choose to start my day (go to bathroom, stretch, feed pet, whatever) before touching my phone/laptop.
Then again, I'd probably notice an even bigger positive difference if I cut it out all together. But I'm an internet addict so...
I’m trying this tomorrow morning. Really need a positive start to my day
But I got nothing better to do!
So true. In the moment, I'm like I really want to use my phone and then I do, for hours. Then the rest of the day I'm just feeling down and exhausted.
It's like night and day with how different I feel. I'm much happier and things that stress me out are easier to bounce back from. But the call of the black screen is very strong. 😳
My brother doesn't believe in therapy cause a lot of problems are obvious, but I think he doesn't get the point after being clouded from bad experience. People won't disagree social media leads to a lot of potential problems, and a lot of people go so far as to cope by constantly joking about their own, but K has a tendency to explain all the facets of psychology in a way that makes the problems make more sense and be actionable
Failure doesnt mean you're worthless, it means you must look for another route to achieving worth wide goals, a GOOD morning routine is the best start.
Takeaways:
→ Ask yourself, when you feel the negative emotions?
→ Don’t use tech or substances when your in a negative mood and Use tech and substances in moderation.
→ Go for a walk, clean something, … the idea is to not engage with them at the moment and let other thoughts to fill it.
→ Assign a time to deal with negative thoughts with a clear head. This is compartmentalizing.
got it, use substances
As of this week, I've finally found a morning routine that works for me, and I've stuck with it and haven't been late to work at all. I'm very proud, as this hasn't been the case (on a reliable basis) for years, and upon hearing you talk about those negative thoughts that debilitate you in the morning, I can see that was what was going on with me
Congrats, my dude! Being able to conquer a challenge you have been struggling with for a long time is a hell of an accomplishment.
@@xMartyZz thanks 🙏
I have been having difficulty with this most of my life, so to hear that there can be a solution even after years with little success is encouraging. Thanks for sharing and well done!
@@cheezball3327 its okay daddy
Can you pls share it with us kind sir?
The fact that taking walks and cleaning are two of my favorite things to do. Makes sense now lmao
i love to iron clothes and to filter clean water. both actiities are very zen like
I think y’all might be serial killers…😂jk
@@puddincakes1005 My name is Yoshikage Kira. I'm 33 years old. My house is in the northeast section of Morioh, where all the villas are, and I am not married. I work as an employee for the Kame Yu department stores, and I get home every day by 8 PM at the latest. I don't smoke, but I occasionally drink. I'm in bed by 11 PM, and make sure I get eight hours of sleep, no matter what. After having a glass of warm milk and doing about twenty minutes of stretches before going to bed, I usually have no problems sleeping until morning. Just like a baby, I wake up without any fatigue or stress in the morning. I was told there were no issues at my last check-up. I'm trying to explain that I'm a person who wishes to live a very quiet life. I take care not to trouble myself with any enemies, like winning and losing, that would cause me to lose sleep at night. That is how I deal with society, and I know that is what brings me happiness. Although, if I were to fight I wouldn't lose to anyone.
@@boi3458 OOOIII JOSUKE!!!!!
Funny how that works!
Interesting fact: When going for walks our eyes move. The lateral eye movements occurring in a higher quantity on the walk suppress the amygdala. This is the basis of EMDR (Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing) therapy.
Wonder if thats why treadmills don't provide me what a real walk does.
@@langreeves6419 I was thinking today I want to start going to the greenway to workout because doing it at home isn’t doing what running use to do. This would put the pieces together 🤔
That makes me wonder if not moving our eyes around because we stare at screens all day is making things worse for our mental health too.
@@hope-cat4894 damn bro good point, definitely. I think in that case, VR is better lol. But also going outside obv.
Getting cats helped me, my first thought in the morning is that I need to feed, water them and clean their litterbox. Also cuddle and loving them ❤
I did this when I had a bunny. I made her salad first thing. She passed six months ago and I wanted to do some house repairs and travel before I get another one, but this time without a pet sucks. Hopefully soon, I will get one.
Even though this helps, this counts as distraction so isnt very helpful
@@Kajlaurenti was thinking this too
I love that! that was me with dogs, I would be in bed like 😭 and then I’m like wait …. let me get my ass up before this dog goes potty in the house lol 🤭
What does your name mean love
'Wake up' -System of a Down
"Grab a brush and put a little makeup" might unintentionally be good mental health advice :D
I prefer "Wake me up inside," though I favor the Synthesis version (the duet makes no sense with the context of the song, but companies got to contract.)
Rage against the machine buddy
What a about Sammy Davis Jr. 'Gingerbread Man'
🍪
Chop suey!
It’s so weird how perfectly timed this video was for me. Just this morning I was in that negative thought loop and kept beating myself up for not doing better. I really needed this! I’m gonna start working on having a morning routine again. Thank you Dr. K!!!!
Hey dude, you’ll never really know how your day will go until you taste it. Today I was feeling the same way “oh no, school, and I hate going there and the people” but then I came to school and realized it’s not as bad as I always make it out to be and I actually really love my peers and the different personalities they all have. For you, I hope you get better with this. Sometimes all you need is a bubble bath.
I swear Dr. K is a mind reader
@@4xzx4 as well as yt algorithms xd
Same bro
So three weeks later, how is your morning routine going? :) More importantly, how is your evening routine going? Any preparations for a good morning wakeup?
Wish my mental health team had given or even understood guidance like this.
Instead, my mental health team just gave me a diagram with a bucket filling with water (stress) and said the only way to create holes in the bucket was to do things hobbies and things I enjoyed - basically distractions. Of course that didn't work because nothing got solved, and because my problems involved a time limit, I felt even worse than before.
I felt I had to explain to them how it was just sticking a plaster over a wound and making things worse, but I didn't attempt to because I didn't have the authority that their training had (and even then they wouldn't have told me actual useful advice like this).
The mental health “care” system is so deeply broken. It honestly makes things worse more than it ever helps.
It's fine, just keep drinking all day to distract from being homeless and hungry, best advice ever
I understand what you said about not having authority - I get feeling that way. And also, you are the authority of your own experience and whether something is working for you or not. For example, several years ago I was seeing a psych-arnp for treatment of depression and anxiety. At one point, I wanted to explore new meds because I didn't feel what I was on was helping. She told me to stop taking my current meds cold turkey to prove to me they were indeed helping. I knew that was a dangerous idea, so I didn't do that. I just stopped seeing that provider. Couple years later, I finally found a proper psychiatrist and therapist who both told me I was way over-medicated and sedated. The point of this story is that the most important metric for guiding treatment is how it impacts you, and no matter how many degrees or years of practice a psychiatrist/therapist/etc has you're still the only one with authority on your experience. There are many types of therapy because none works for everyone, and the only one who can say a type of therapy isn't helping (and then change treatment) is the patient/client (if they're an adult/independent). The provider can help you figure that out, but if they insist you continue treatment that is either not helping or making things worse then they're not acting in your best interest. Ideally in that case you could transfer care, but I know that's not always practical or possible.
Also, I'm not trying to blame you for not trying to explain how their strategy was making things worse, and I don't assume that this will help your current situation (if it does help); I just want to share this perspective in case it could help you feel more empowered in future circumstances; a provider who does not respect the authority you have over your own experience is not a good provider.
Why do all of them say the same things.. its only like the highest educated psychologists for me who has actually understood mental unwellness. all the lower educated people have told me that bucket thing
this is literally what dr k is telling us in this video though lmao, he's just saying it differently
There’s a Dutch verb called ‘uitwaaien’, which describes “going out for a walk (or bike ride) and feeling the wind around you to clear your head”.
You described the construct and the benefits of ‘uitwaaien’ perfectly.
I need more dutch verbs like this.
I guess the English word wold be "unwind?"
I just snooze 5 times until I’m late for work.
Bruh be fucking positive sometime man
Godamn
Same, then I lie to myself and promise I won't do it again the next day.
Man sometimes even if I wake up on time I will fuck around until exactly the point where I will be late to work 💀
you've avoided technology tho, that's great
@harshitrathee9045 yeah you're not a natural motivator, go sit in the corner let the professionals work
my therapist saw i was beating myself up over past failures and told me "each of your past attempts contributes to your success". it resonated with me a lot.
good luck, everyone! start slowly, gradually, and be consistent 🖤
Something that helps enourmsly with my anxiety is sharing my thoughts with close friends. Just talking about them helps me to relax, my anxiety isn't away but I feel more confident with handling the situation cause I know, that someone knows what I'm going through and I can text them for help without having to explain the entire situation.
also if you are anxious at a party (avoiding distractions like going on ur phone) if you can communicate that you feel like nobody wants to talk to you someone may talk to you and calm your anxiety vs holding and putting away those thoughts with distractions like phone
I think friend don't want to hear any of that. They usually say, if you're not happy, move. Go find a new job. You let yourself be too affected by the environment. You should get some achievements, that will make you happy.
@@hufficag It must be rough. It sucks when you're really trying to get something off your chest and the people around you are quick to try and fix you but slow to listen. I hope you find more friends that listen when you need them to.
I've recently realized, some people's first reaction when you talk about a problem is to try and fix it. But I don't always want a solution. I just want to vent. I've been telling my friends this before I vent and they're pretty good at holding their advice to themselves.
You have to be careful and not burden your friends. It can affect their mental health too. I like when I'm been told before that they want to vent so we can set time limits. It really drains me and can put me off for the next days (unable to work, cope, etc).
It works both ways tho. I know its heathy to have safe net of people to count on. Even though I too have anxiety I don't like to share anything with noone (maybe beacuse of my autism). I've started to do that reacetly and seldom but I'm going against many years of not doing so because I have never wanted them to carry that weight.
@@my_unexpected_journey exactly. Most people aren't equipped for truly alleviating others' emotional pain, incl "educated" pros. Hoping for, or worse, expecting friends or partners to take on a sounding board role is unfair to you both, and quite possibly agitating.
due to my ptsd and living in a triggering environment, I've really struggled with this negativity in the morning and subconsciously avoiding the things that would calm me down in anticipation of 'the fall' or the negativity I would return to in the environment. having these stratagies explained to me is so releaving, i really hope some counselors and therapists find your videos and start using your way of explaining things to describe stratagies to their patients. I feel like if this was explained to me like this, I would have understood it a lot better. thank you Dr. K, your videos are always such a world of insight
I have the opposite problem, generally starting strong in the morning but amassing negative thoughts throughout the day until I'm spent by mid-afternoon. The main thing which stops this onset is going to work, but they'll start right back up after; if I work later rather than right after waking up, I'll have a worse work day because I had time for these thoughts to gather. By the end of the day, I'll have very bad insomnia because of these thoughts unless I take some sort of sleep supplement. So I don't know what kind of routine I need in order to prevent that.
Having a dog also probably really helps with this cause you'll be inclined each morning to take them out on a walk
Thank you so much. My every morning is a deep and heavy angst full of guilt, but I'm a fucking russian so i can't afford a quality psychotherapy. All i wanted since 15y.o is to become a neuroscientist or a psychiatrist, and i (maybe) convinced myself that no other joy in life is accessible to me. Only scientific curiosity. So it became reality and at 26 i'm a sad philosopher with a bad adhd and immense disappointment and resentment towards everything, not only myself. Now i struggle to convince myself that deep inside i want all the same things as other people, but it's so only when I'm on illegal psychostimulants or empathogens, once in a while. Only this things are able to give me a pure healthy desire to communicate with people and listen music. Your channel and psilocybin are my only hopes now, i take notes and treat them almost like prayers lol, so thanks a lot
26 is not too late to go back to school and achieve those things, or anything else that you want. I went back at 28 and changed everything, while working. I know there’s a million reasons you think it can’t work, but I think the empowerment you’d feel from chasing it would blow away anything that therapy could do for you. I hope you pursue it. All the best to you.
I went back to school at 25 and studied science. I regret now because of the disapproval from my family and now I am 35 and alone because I had to remove myself from that environment. The negative comments I have are the criticisms from my family for changing my life. I dislike my new career because of how they make me feel about it. I wish I had the wisdom to avoid such pain.
The faster i get to my walk, the better.
I wake wishing i was dead.
But the walk convinces me to keep going.
The walk itself is great....and I'm doing something that makes my dog happy. Making someone else happy is a good feeling.
This is incredible. I never knew why I wanted to clean or go for a walk every day when I first wake up, but this makes total sense.
You're great!
I had to get rid of social media. It makes sense now why I love my routines that I established this year (age 37, for reference) so much. Makes my brain focus on something else.
Some weeks I still get overwhelmed and do nothing but I'm at least able to recognize it and ask for an assist.
Cleaning has been my go to for a long time, I struggled motivating myself to get work done but cleaning before I start working has helped me push any negative thought away and just get to work lol
Omg no wonder I've started routinely cleaning before I study. I guess the mess outside makes a mess inside too
Mind you, I leave a bit of cleaning for the night for the exact same reason. Sleeping after a little chore is so easy!
This is why I love lofi and working out in the morning, I’ve gotten better but my anxiety can run wild especially if I didn’t get enough sleep from disturbances lately. I have to slowly quiet my mind and wake my body up.
But I can focus my energy onto something better and if I can’t rid my thoughts I’ll journal and write them and rereading them I’m like huh? I have to put that energy into something else otherwise it throws off my day.
THIS ISNT NORMAL?????????????????????????????
My negative thoughts upon waking up on weekdays is "fuck I have to work again today" on sunday is "fuck it's my last day of freedom from work" and I don't know if it's a sign of burnout or just a normal thing that people who have jobs think about.
I have this same issue, and have had it my entire life.
You are too weak for your obligations. Level up
this video was so impactful as someone who experiences anxiety and depression on a regular basis. i am always trying to find better ways to live with these problems, and this was really helpful
wow it really just comes down to making a normal daily routine again. it was a solution when i was in therapy and it still is a solution for me. although i have a very hard time being on schedule. so hard
Which scientific study shows that having 2 alcoholic drinks a week improves mental health?
It sounded like he was just using that as a hypothetical
Makes a lot of sense. I use to start my mornings with a cup of coffee while I cleaned. Getting my body up and moving felt like it helped me propel forward to accomplish other tasks. Soon after I started a workout routine. Lost weight. Then as my mental and physical health got better I started tackling life goals. Each step got easier the more I fell into my routine and it all started by deciding to get up and clean every morning.
I absolutely LOVE how most of the technics Dr. K tells us about are just so utilitarian and you can start working on your problems right away and they'r working 🤧 saving us so much time, thank you so much!!
Building a functional morning routine that works for me has been my primary self care goal for the past two months. I’ve never been a morning person, and I don’t just mean that I’m groggy and grumpy; I’m literally can’t think straight and am physically clumsier. What I used to do was snooze until I couldn’t anymore, then rush around in a panic complaining about being late. (I also used to struggle with serious morning anxiety that this routine exacerbated.)
Over the past two months, I’ve worked on accepting the fact that I don’t wake up well and building it into my routine. My full morning routine now takes about 2.5 hours, but I’m calmer and by the time I walk out the door, I’m fully awake and ready for the day. And even though I’m waking up earlier, I actually feel more awake and alert throughout the day.
Can you share what you do part of your 2.5hour routine
Congrats!
Morning depression…so relatable. Crying before my feet hit the floor almost daily. I wake at 5:30😮
Exercise. I have not been on social media for a year and o still have negative thoughts. Usually from work or other issues. It’s hard to push away thoughts. What if people don’t have friends to have out with? What if people do not drink? I would love to really have a solution than looking for people to hang with. I like to practice TKD, or Thai Chi. How do we fix this? Go for a walk, clean whatever. They thoughts are still there. Music is key as long as it’s not triggering.
My morning routine is hopping on YT with breakfast and coffee! If I feel negative a particular morning I'll actually watch Dr. K and by the end of a video or two, I all the sudden am in a positive state of mind! Thank you to you and your team for sharing your content and wisdom (:
I felt this, also really appreciate putting the coaching ad at the end of the video and not in the middle where its annoying
This advice makes so much sense… don’t engage while experiencing a negative mindset. Also, I love the tip to write down how you’re feeling and then take the note to therapy so you can address the issue when you have a clear mind. Mostly every time I went to therapy I felt good. We always started with that and then talked about whatever came up. I wish I would’ve known to write down the negative things I experienced during the week so we could talk about them. That could’ve been super helpful.
For every negative thought, find the opposing/ challenging view, always works for me
this use to work for me until i realised i was neglecting my negative thoughts by pushing them to the side for opposing ones, work short term but felt like i was lying long term
Wouldn’t that cause spiralling like he said in the vid? When I oppose them they loop back around and don’t really go anywhere
Toxic positivity to combat negativity, love it
This is phenomenal advice especially for people with anxiety disorders. I've recently started taking morning walks and it's helped a lot. That said, fundamentally, it's still just distracting yourself. You're just doing it in a different, somehow healthier way. What I really want to know now is why emotions/negative thoughts are programmed to behave like this in our brains. In other words, why do our brains do this or let this happen? It makes it seem like removing emotions is actually the next logical step in evolution? Sort of like Vulkans from Star Trek.
we wouldn't have evolved to have them if they were useless. Some people's environments or internal chemistry or combination of the two sometimes just don't give them healthy thoughts and feelings. I think a better goal for our future would be a classless society that's better at meeting people's needs or providing a healthy environment like the one Vulkans help humans develop
I also think it's important to remember, emotions and thoughts are ultimately a compass for us to guide us away from harmful situations. The brain uses it as a protection mechanism to increase our chances of survival. In dangerous or toxic situations you feel scared or sad/ upset because your body is warning you. If you didn't have negative emotions or thoughts you would have nothing keeping you away from things that aren't good for you. It's just that in this situation, what Dr. K is talking about, is when negative emotions and thoughts become too overpowering and overactive. I've noticed this was super helpful with my own anxiety, is to realize that anxious thoughts mean well: they're trying to protect me. But sometimes theyre being triggered for the wrong reasons or in harmless situations, and that im actually not in danger, where maybe something similar happened in the past where I was in danger, so the brain goes "oh no its happening again, be careful!!" and it overreacts. Realizing that and catching myself helps dispell the thought or remove the power from the negative emotion.
If you read the deep lore of Vulcans or even watched "Amok Time," you see that it results in Pon Farr. A moment where people are out of control, and try to kill and rape each other. I mean this is an old fashioned theory that if you surpress your emotions for too long they go out of control. Maybe its my Star Trek nerd brain itching me, and seems a basic misinterpretation of the story.
The way I see it is that emotions are temporary, and build thoughts. Sorry Logicians you always interpret your facts and data through your emotions, otherwise you wouldn't even care about what you care about. Information is meaningless without some form of analysis. That's how we get conservatives and liberals, and other divisive groupings. Emotions form your thoughts.
Thoughts create thinking patterns and thinking patterns produce your personality. If you take enough stones out of the wall, the whole thing is weak. But if you take the time to make bricks instead of just chucking stones at it, shaping them and making sure they are solid... then we get a stronger wall.
Not that you can control your emotions, but they are the building blocks, so you have to make sure they are real.
The point is they are temporary. You can feel all kinds of horrible things, and still be relatively mentally healthy. Because you just feel them and let them go away. And actually feel them. Which is so weird and might not be recommended. But it just works for me.
This is some of the best advice i‘ve ever heard and it all seems so logical and obvious
How is Dr. K's ad read for his guides the most wholesome thing I've ever seen?
it's insane to have this stuff for free on YT. Blessed t find you
This is exactly what I have been wondering about for at least a year now and I couldn't thank you enough!
Great question. Not only negative thoughts but low moods when I wake up so my challenge is trying to combat those negative thoughts for the first hour of the day so my low mood doesn't get any lower.
Dr K, just wanna say thanks to you, I've learn to know myself better than ever be, Like truly understand myself and feeling better everyday is all because of listening to your video like this, I've listen motivator like Jordan Peterson, Andrew Huberman but it always didn't work for me, and then I know you from youtube recommendation, and I felt it become one of my lucky day for knowing you. I really meant it, Thanks a lot.
Since growing up, i have an intense fear of letters asking for money. It began with me paying all my bills but i suddenly have less money for my grocery shopping. I began skipping meals, forcing diets on myself, becoming more fearful of letters which could potentially be asking for more. One day i stopped opening the letters, i let them build up. I cant handle them anymore. Every morning the heap grows bigger as i throw the unopened letters at it. I cant even physically touch the letters. I cant bear the weight
Such straightforward, practical. knowledgeable, immediately implementable counsel. Thank you!
Literally had a (pyscho) therapist flat out say that I didn’t have to wake up at 4:00a.m. right after I told her that I did.
Everyday after that, when I got up at 4:00a.m. I remembered how she gaslighted me by denying reality.
And that was in addition to my depression.
So glad this video came up on my feed. Thank you!!!
This channel is awesome. Never have I watched a video and felt like the information wasn’t helpful. This video came at a perfect time. Thank you Dr.K
I remember my psychologist tell me exactly this during pandemic, to take a walk because I was so depressed. I dismissed and scoffed at that idea. I knew well that working out would help you get distracted, but since I'm already very self aware, I knew that it would meant nothing and it couldn't help my current situation and just distracting myself from it. It's always a constant cycle for me, depressed, distracted, depressed, distracted, and whenever I'm at that depressive cycle I would just think what's the point to suppress this emotion because the root problem is never fixed. I'm pretty okay right now because I have so many things to distract me, but I know someday it would comeback. It's like playing cat and mouse that never ends.
You're not depressed you just don't have goals or ambitions. Existentialism and purpose can disguise themselves as the thing what people who don't actually know shit call "depression"
Imagine waking up and going to work with this everyday. But I can't change how much a failure I am so it's hard to be negative when truth is absolute, at least at this point in time.
Great advice!
Unleashing from the phone, especially in the morning has made wonders.
I really needed this
Thank you. I love your channel.
As soon as I wake up, I sit in silence with my eyes closed for an hour. My mind processes thoughts and chews on things for a while but gets tired and surrenders into peace. By the end of the hour, I feel still and peaceful. I do this 1 hour sitting morning and evening. Sometimes I sit longer and don’t time it. I sit for 1.5-2 hours at times. Been doing this consistently for a year. Sitting in silence has completely transformed me and my mind. Healed a codependent addictive relationship breakup and other addictions with this simple practice. Best thing I ever did in my life
P.s: if I feel very agitated about something, I go out for a walk for 30 minutes in silence, no distractions. Same thing- my mind chews on something but the body is also working and using up that energy from the mind so it lets go quicker. It’s like a walking meditation. By the end of the walk I feel so clear and peaceful. Consistent practice of these has brought me to a wonderful realm of silence and peace
Needed this this morning. Thank you!
I love your passion when you explain those things❤
I live in the American Gardens building on West 81st street. My name is Patrick Bateman. I'm 27 years old. I believe in taking care of myself, and a balanced diet and a rigorous exercise routine. In the morning, if my face is a little puffy, I'll put on an ice pack while doing my stomach crunches. I can do a thousand now. After I remove the ice pack, I use a deep pore cleanser lotion. In the shower, I use a water activated gel cleanser. Then a honey almond body scrub. And on the face, an exfoliating gel scrub. Then apply an herb mint facial mask, which I leave on for 10 minutes while I prepare the rest of my routine. I always use an aftershave lotion with little or no alcohol, because alcohol dries your face out and makes you look older. Then moisturizer, then an anti-aging eye balm followed by a final moisturizing protective lotion. There is an idea of a Patrick Bateman, some kind of abstraction, but there is no real me. Only an entity, something illusory. And though I can hide my cold gaze, and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours and maybe you can even sense our life styles are probably comparable, I simply am not there.
Ah the Rat Tube Guy
the editing style is great now! and a very timely topic, thanks Dr. K and team.
Every time I come to Dr.K video I learn so much thank you! Wishing the best to everyone on their journey.
Thank you for all this knowledge. It helps me sooo much.
Something that has helped me is to recognize whenever I feel worried or anxious about something. I state the facts and adjusted myself to understanding that if I don’t have all the information, I won’t assume. It helps me by not creating that self doubt unless it has been proven that what I feel is correct. At that point I then evaluate… is this thing that is causing me so much distress even valuable in my life? What does it do positively for me? If I can’t answer the question, I remove it from my life.
OMG. I am not alone. I felt so stupid but all this feelings are normal and there is a WAY OUT! 😢❤
Thank you for giving clear steps to deal with negative thoughts!!
Thanks Dr. K! ❤
That go for a walk explanation clicked in my brain. I have always heard don’t push down thoughts when grieving or dealing with trauma. But to feel the the emotions/thoughts to get though it. What you explained made it click.
I was having negative thoughts and this video showed up on my feed. Thank you sir for the good work.
Great video - so many great tips . I’ve cognitively exhausted myself so many times
I love everything you post DR.K you are so awesome and so damn smart man thanks for making youtube videos
I see so many videos that say stuff like, " get up and take a walk, get up and do blank." Am I the only person on the planet who had to get up... and go straight to my job? Feels like that should be pretty common. What about those situations, and please don't say get up earlier. I already get up waaaaay to early for work as is. Night owls are at a disadvantage in society when it comes to work hours.
just wanted to say I found the part about clearing your head instead of trying to fix things when you're upset to be really helpful, so Thankyou
You're such a positive influence to the world man, love your videos!
My negative thoughts cleared when I left my job.
Here is some advice for when you feel bad.
It’s coming from an associate of mine in a dharma discord:
Simply going through it without making a change will recreate the cycle because it's your learned default. Every moment you can remember and notice these thoughts and feelings pop up, it's time to sooth the body and mind to gradually reprogram your defualt which is dependency, hurt or whatever negative reoccurring emotion you deal with. Breath deeply and slowly. Relax the body. Start to bring your attention to the present. Feel the whole body as you relax it. Change the way you talk to yourself. See the fear and neediness as a frightened child, then take the role of the adult comforting them. Talk to yourswlf like"I'm not in danger. I wont die without this person. I'm safe." "I can handle this." "I've been through this before, I know I can handle it." Gradually talk yourself from feeling uptight, anxious, and unsafe into feeling safe, secure, and relaxed as best as you can.
And to that I add: with anger, acknowledge it, don’t judge. Don’t feed into it or try to justify it.
Acknowledge the feeling.
This can also mean saying out loud that you are angry. That diffuses the tension.
And with self loathing, this is usually a combination of fear and anger.
Try to approach yourself as how you would approach a loved one.
Many times I wake up in the morning with my heart pounding and I’m anxious for some reason, especially if I’ve been super busy with stuff. Almost like I wake up in a panic that I’m wasting time by sleeping.
Woah, shorter content. I like it. This and longer content is much apreciated. Having some bite sized content is nice for a buzy schedule.
When I wake up early I see a reel in my head of every stupid or embarrassing thing Ive ever done in my adult life so I hate going to bed. I find playing podcasts as soon as I wake helps or getting up out of bed.
Any chance some effort could be put into focusing only on one sound and one image in your mind? To possibly help not getting attached to the thoughts?
One Love!
Always forward, never ever backward!!
☀️☀️☀️
💚💛❤️
🙏🏿🙏🙏🏼
One of best videos on this topic!
For me it's the reverse - trouble falling asleep over regrets, resentment, stuff I didn't do...
i've been waking up at 3am and immediately start reading, usually for about 5 hours.
also, i'm about 2 weeks into cutting out as many external/artificial sources of dopamine as possible
also, I haven't been eating fast food.
I've been skating a lot too.
I'm not necessarily feeling "better" than before, still feeling anxiety/adhd/depression, but i am feeling MUCH more disciplined.
I know it can only lead to a more positive future state.
How much sleep are you getting?
Just try to get in a few cycles of REM not just one or two.
As someone who wants to become a psychologist/counselor, Dr K is truly an inspiration.
Note to self: watch this vid once a day. Dr K you are amazing!!
Watching this at 0500. Woke up hating my life at 0230.
It's SO hard to give up the tech first thing in the morning. Still trying to figure out how to do that especially as someone who's unemployed and not a student lol. The whole day's so open and trying to get myself to do one chore or ADL is like trying to rip off my own fingernails with pliers lol
Thank you dr K. You helped me today
Doing the dishes actually really helped. It was a huge pile so it took a while to get through and I really do feel less anxious.
I'm up at 6:30 watching this after waking up at 5:00 AM to negative thoughts and being unable to fall back asleep.
Dr. K is a prophet!
Wow, this is a life saving video! Thank you thank you thank you!!!!!
Thank you for this
So incredibly helpful thank you
I handwash dishes with cold water in the morning just after I wake up. I leave dishes for the morning on purpose for this. It helps me a lot. If I walk 1 bus stop after that before taking the bus or train it is even better.
Omg that is exactly me. I had no idea. Thanks for a very helpful video :)
I had a time where I would always wake up with negative thoughts and everytime I did I would play the same motivational video over and over to the point where my brain would be conditioned. For the past year I haven't been having negative thoughts waking up
Hi dr K this was a awesome video I thought it was new! I just watched it and I feel hope I’m on antidepressants and go to therapy one a week thanks for the video!
Subscribed! Thank you
You are an excellent Doc. I love being educated ♥️
Thank you!
Thank you so much for this video, it was like you were talking straight to me
That cool effect with therapy works with me too. I wish I had my therapist at the time I'm feeling terrible. But the nice thing is I deal with those emotions alone and with loved ones. Then after waiting for a week, I'm clear-headed and can address the issues pragmatically with my therapist.