People resist your change because it doesn’t benefit them
Vložit
- čas přidán 1. 06. 2024
- Have you ever changed, but people cling to an outdated or imagined version of you? Why does it happen & can we stop this from happening? I will give you my best advice. For more mentoring from me, visit Levelupclass.com
❤️ Thank you all for supporting my channel by liking, commenting & subscribing!
#annabey
This was very insightlful. I had relatives who did not want to give up the idea that I was broke. That was true only for the first 2 years out of college. Decades and much success later, they would still make snide remarks to imply that I had no money and wasn't going anywhere. As you just taught me, this had more to do with them. The women in their family never accomplished anything. Misery loves company. Thanks so much, Anna! This helps me to re-write my story.
Most of the time, people don't talk about yourself when they adress to you. They do not even talk about themselves. They talk about something going on currently, while they're talking to you. By using that specific description of a past version of you, they just remind you that they cared and still care about you as they remember. If your past is a burden to you, maybe you could just point it out to them. People are not all the same. Their communication skills may not match your level. Don't judge them too fast. Things are that maybe, they weren't even trying to be mean but your own bias or insecurities made you feel so.
Same. But watch out, if they are like my "family" they will sabotage your success. It's an insult to them, they might decide you need to be "humbled" it's tragic what my family did bc of my success. I have better boundaries now. Congratulations 🎊 protect yourself well!! ❤
Well ladies, on the positive side, they would not borrow money from you 😂 it is a delight!
@@tobe-you-tube6612 Nah, it's not because they care, it's because they've created a picture of you that suits their needs and they don't want to let it go. The want her to be back "in her place"- a place where they are superior to her. And they will just ignore your requests to just stick to the present. Notice that the OP said that it's been decades since she was financially struggling, yet they continue to make snide remarks.
@@LisaCulton I understand. In this case why would you want to keep those kind of relationship anyway.
Finally I understand why I have absolutely no desire to go to my 40-year school reunion this year!
😅😅😅
Me either
My 50th class reunion is this year, and I really don't care about going!
Those meetings make no sense tbh
Most people will insist on misjudging you because it serves their ego.
Very true!! I find it's mostly because of jealousy that someone doesn't want to acknowledge a "new you".
They feel more in control and superior when they can bring you down to your old self.
By the way, your hair has grown beautifully!!!
So soft and natural.
It's an awful realization, when you see that the people closest to you are against you changing because they need you stay in a position that only benefits them. Still, it's important to shape that pain into determination to continue your changes, be it toward financial security, a healthier lifestyle, or expanding your femininity. Improving yourself sometimes means cutting off the ties to the past that were keeping you in the very rut you're trying so hard to escape.
100%❤
❤!!!
Nnnnnno. People resist your change because it challenges them to change..and that's scary. Narcissists believe that people are only in it for what benefits them.
I have cousins that do not like me getting pretty. I used to wear clothes that are granny and outdated. I don't know how to style or dress properly. I don't even use make up everyday, except for lip balm for preventing my lips getting chapped. When I graduated college, I promised myself to glow-up, and so I did. But my change was not accepted by everybody. And so this started the back-stabbing, the gossip, the drama.... But I'm glad that I removed myself from them. My life became peaceful by then. 😌
I really love your new content, it resonates to me. I'm 36, 2 kids, and I'm starting a therapy to make peace with my childhood to be a better mum. I am like you, my level up was to move to Corsica. I needed nature, sunshine. I don't care about having friends and listening to what people think about me. I followed a lot of your elegance advice in my way of dressing up and I feel very chic and in my place. Just maybe not with a luxury budget but you can find loads of clothes that are great and cheap. People look at me like an alien. I don't care. I want to be a model to my son to pick the right girl and to my daughter to be an elegant and feminine woman, without being vulgar, and even at 5 years old, so many little girls start being quite bitchy. So thanks, for about 3/4years you have been an inspiration. Take care and bravo for the amazing work. I love the dresses you created, sorry for not buying, as my budget is not corresponding to what I can afford, but that is ok, I'm in peace with that and I encourage you and your business!
Great comment. How do you like Corsica?
People hold on to the old version of you and constantly remind you of who you used to be. They can hinder your progress but don’t allow them. You who you are and who you want to be !
100% agree
Due to my leveling up journey a lot of my friends changed and that is okay.😌At first, they were laughing at me and then after getting my dream job (and salary) they were starting to act jealous. Lady’s, I’ve worked 70 hours for so many years to get there. It’s their problem that they have partied all night and I had to stay at home to attend uni next to my full-time job.🙈
I would like to recommend the book Personality Isn't Permanent. Very helpful with letting go of who you were while becoming the person you aspire to be.
Thank you x
Thanks for sharing
Anna, I like your change. You are more complete this way. It's a pleasure to follow your content.
There are people who click together, anf there are people who don't match your vibes. No reason to waste your time thinking why they don't like/accept you. Just be the best version of yourself and right people get attracted to your energy.
This is so true. You can make a really bad impression when you are new in a profession, or job and improve substantially, but some may never see you past what you were when you started out. They just can’t expand past their first impressions, or they are just too lazy or short sighted to really look any further. Hate to be blunt about this but it’s true of alot of people. The most annoying thing about a lot of people is their inability to form an opinion of someone based on their own assessments and instead relying on third party perspective…. they listen to gossip, or take bad advice from others without investigating on their own. Managers that do this are the worst.
💯. This is why we can never take things personally most people project their insecurities onto others. In the end, if they’re not helping me pay my bills or the rent I really don’t care what they think about me.
Shape your world by taking one step every day in your own truth.
Someone that was trying to court me told me I was an A$$hole... this took me aback and seemed to come out of nowhere. I couldn't stop thinking about what they said, of course, and kept replaying the sequence of events over and over in head trying to figure out what I did to invoke their reaction... I came to the conclusion that I wasn't an a$$hole to them I just wasn't doing what they wanted me to do. I was setting up boundaries and establishing my own cadence for the relationship to respect my own levels of comfort with them and they didn't like this.
Don't let someone else write your story or pave your path. Do the work to know who you are up down and sideways and stand firm in that truth.
I agree with the video. Important to note that many people are totally fine with how we change over time. Many people welcome it.
Ppl who welcome it are good ppl ❤❤❤ aka NOT benefitting from our stagnation
My mother doesn't like it when I talk about the type of clothing I want to upgrade to. My mom is of the opinion that cheap clothing looks nice, so why get expensive clothes? And if that works for her, that's fine for her, but that's not what I want for myself. I want not just clothing that looks nice but is nice. Even Zara is leveling up from the clothing I wear right now.
You cannot control people's thoughts... so let it go. This is so good to implement. Would be so much peace of the mind if I could
Excellent insight and advice. Thank you! I am 69, and I’ve definitely seen that in my life that people want to hold on to their initial impressions of people.
Anna you are a woman of revolution, and I applaud you for it. People don't like changes in general. Some people could even get anxiety and feel uncomfortable and it's the part that people need to work on these days. I love your new channel as it helps people navigate through change and how to get comfortable with it. Those who are having a hard time need to also realize that this is the next leveling up...and moving forward. Best of luck with your new channel Anna!
Ah, yes, this is quite a recurrent problem. In my personal experience, it happens with both relatives and friends: it's not a problem in the sense that they think about me as someone negative, broke, uneducated or anything negative.....but they make me take many steps back because I get angry quite often: I try to politely explain that no, I don't do that anymore, no, I don't have that problem anymore, no I don't practice that sport anymore, no my allergies aren't an illusion....but to no avail, they simply don't want to know better.
Now I have decided to stop them and tell them a version of "Sorry, I'm going to end this conversation here: I tried to explain this concept many times to you, but you won't listen; this conversation is useless and has no meaning to me because you are talking about things that happened years ago and are describing how a teen behaved and thought and now I'm a very different woman."
They always get angry and offended, but to be honest I'm so done....how can you think I still behave and think the same way I did at 16 at the age of 38, after years of painful family experiences, having to quickly mature at 19, taking care of both my parents and finally starting university again??? they are delusional or simply too stupid or jealous to understand.
Thank you for making this video, probably one of the most important videos I have ever watched.
My goodness, this is your best! This speech is pristine, phenomenal, and inspirational!!
I think you're right about the toxic bosses. I worked for someone where I was her human punching bag and it created so many limiting beliefs in myself. She destroyed my self confidence and I ended up with lots of limiting believes because I didn't feel good enough for a better career. Thankfully I had the courage to move on and I've now entered a senior professional position and doubled my salary in less than two years. She was overloading me with so much work that was many grades above my pay grade that I ended up developing the skills for much more senior positions elsewhere.
I spent 3 months doing inner work and therapy almost everyday and after that period my whole personality changed. I'm now more secure and have higher standard for myself but it seems like it's a bit difficult for people around me to get used to my new character. Specially for people who are insecure. I feel like my secure behaviors kinda intimidate them and I've noticed that even my own family members can't handle some of my new success. Sometimes I feel very empathic for them, I can see how their problems drive such behaviors. I'm really working on not taking things personally.
Hi, can you please help me understand how you do inner work? Is there a book or yt channel that taught you how to do that
@@RUTUMA Of course!
Read the book " getting the love you want" by Harville Hendrix. The second chapter of this book will help you a lot.
Also learn about the concept of repression and projection in Freud psychology ( you can learn through reading articles on the internet, Just learn the basics and don't complicate it).
Watch Heidi Priebe videos, specially her videos on toxic shame, self neutrality, self esteem and her video series on how certain attachments developed.
Start journalling. I usually use my phone note for that. Through journalling ask yourself what repressed emotions/needs cause you to have certain behaviors/coping mechanisms? Have conversations with yourself regularly and talk to yourself the way you talk to a loved one. We usually disrespect ourselves and then wondering why we feel bad and insecure! I usually talk to myself through writing/journalling. It's easier to see how you feel when you write things down.
Learn about boundries.
Spiritual wise , find a good vedic astrologer to check and study your birth chart and remedy your malafics by doing rituals or listening to beej mantras for 1008 times. Read the book " Journey of souls" by Michael Newton. Learn about karma, dharma and moksha. You can Watch KRS videos. He is a great astrologer.
These are the things that helped me to upgrade my life and mental health.
@@genevaelyse1918 thank you so much for taking the time to explain everything thoroughly. ♥️
@@RUTUMA you're welcome! 💓
An unknown but good book covering this is Envy up, Scorn down. It seems people who think you are less than they are, are usually the ones who try to scornfully remind us of our less experienced, less time on this planet, in our profession, etc. past selves and that we would not have changed in multiple years. They'll directly say, who does she think she is...
"Anchoring bias" is an interesting concept. I believe it's true.
Leveling up is the best decision I've ever made, I usted to feel like the "ugly duck" and I took so much crap from people. Now I know muy value, always looks my best, and set standards for what I want. I'm still improving, but I see how people treats me differently now. So just wanted to thank you Anna for sharing all this insight and experiences with all of us who want "a better version of ourselves" 💐
Hi Pamela, sorry to jump into like this. this year I really committed to leveling up, but I feel so lost and messy. If you can please tell me, what steps you took to level up? I am still navigating my way on to this new journey. Any help/advice would be greatly appreciated. Many thanks
Dear Anna, thank you for your wisdom!!♥️✨
The real talk really hits with this one Anna and yes it's really needed here
Especially because society feels the need to control people and protect a "status quo"
People do change
Sometimes for the better for themselves but sometimes for the worse for you and we do hang on to an old version of th(at/ose) pe(rson/eople) because we can't handle change well
This video was so interesting and inspiring . I actually have family and friends see as the girl who came from a father being an alcoholic and a broken home. I am now 50 years old and at a family funeral one of aunts find it proper to tell everyone that I used to dress like a thug girl now . Simply because, other family members was saying they loved my dress I wore at the funeral.
I use to cry about that they will never see for who I am today a woman with masters degree who strifes everyone to be a proper lady that respects everyone.
But, I have learned to release it and as you mentioned they have not changed their minds about me because maybe they just want to see me in past and not in my raising up .
Thank you for this information and inspired video.
Love your take on life …
Amazing video Anna so packed with facts and information about real life issues. I had to watch it 3 times to get the absolute understanding about this topic 🙏
This video just caught me at the right time. I am in similar situation now. The senior staff in my department have misconceptions of me written down in company appraisal documents. I understand that it is challenging for them to update their impressions. But having it written in official company documents may affect my future prospects in my current company. I feel like this company’s culture is no longer suitable for me and I am starting to prepare myself for the next job in another place. I deserve a workplace which celebrates diversities in leadership styles, personalities and value true performance instead of “subjective judgements” .
Oh my gosh Anna this topic is so important thanks for covering it .
I’m struggling with people who don’t want to accept the me now.
You look stunning in this color 🤗 And thank you for your messages in this video, so helpful and applicable to my journey right now 💟
I knew it all, deep inside; however, I was in so much need to hear it out loud. Thank you so much.
A very interesting topic here, dear Anna. What you say is certainly true. However, for true personal growth, it is essential to understand where we may have gone wrong in the past, to own that past behaviour, and possibly to apologize to people we may have hurt along the way. Only then can we truly evolve and change in a positive way. First impressions do stick, and it takes consistent work in a better direction to ensure healthy development. Let us not fall into the trap of blaming others for failing to see that we have changed. They have lives of their own and are not focused on us. We need to own our past, warts and all, to truly move forward.
Woah!!! Ana! I’m so happy you created this channel! I’m a bit late to the party but dang! You go girl! Now I know why I’ve watched your fancy videos for years, even though I had absolutely zero interest in luxury fashion 😂 I love this new direction of yours! I’m here for it! 💃🏽💃🏽💃🏽💃🏽💃🏽💃🏽
Im very thankful for you, Anna.
Thank you.
This one was a beauty...🌸
Congrats on the new channel
This happens with people who have criminal history. They may have done something when they were 20 years old and they're 45 and it still follows them around. They can't get a job they can't get a place to live because what's on that paper is who everybody believes that they are. And I think that is also very very sad.
These people want to level up they want to get college degrees they want to move on with their life. But because of the paper of their criminal history they're not allowed to move on. People will end up getting depressed feel like life is hopeless. Even though that's not them. They want to be happy and successful but they can't.
And people in your life who have known of that criminal history whether it be friends or family that is always what you're going to be.
Terrific video, Anna. Exactly what I needed today. Thank you!
The manipulators get upset and refuse to having to reframe their idea of you, they took themselves out for your good
Thank you for sharing))!
Ur content is so up lifting and positive
I enjoyed this video. Thank you for making it.
Anna, thank you for your genuine insight! ❤❤❤
You are so welcome!
I love this podcast-style channel 💕
Yet I still wish to watch a house tour or closet tour of Anna Bey's. ❤
Sometimes change comes from being stuck in exactly the opposite of what you are now, and they don't want to see your change because they love to criticize you for your previous version. Yes, I have noticed your changes, you are deeper and more critical, I really like your way of being, yes, you have always been spontaneous, transparent and honest, it is something good that persists in you.
People who treat you this way are dumb and not very self aware
So important and insightful! Especially what you said about the filter to protect the own inner space and not to believe the "imagined version" of you. I think, many of us walk into that trap sometimes. Thank you for your inspiring work and authenticity!
This is SO good and much appreciated!
The next video would be nice about how to detach from people, friends, family, and toxic people
Very smart and inspirational!
It is truly sad that some people are complacent and project their feelings onto others. When we take on others projections is called introjection.
This is the video I needed to see right now, thank you so much!
I liked this video before watching it. The title alone says so much!
Thank you for addressing this important topic. I appreciate your thoughts on this. I needed it.
Great video! This rings so true, and learning psychology is helping me understand that I have no control over others, only myself. In keeping the focus on myself, I'm able to shield myself from others negative opinions of me too.
Excellent discussion. It can be very hurtful to gossip to a friend about someone that you know. It skews the reality of who that person might be like in the current moment.
It's a form of black sorcery. They know exactly what they're doing to that innocent person.
thank you anna that was great
This was very therapeutic ❤
this is very true...
Thanks for sharing this topic. I have recently experienced someone I know for long time still hold on to my old past that i have leveled up and improved since then.
Thank you Anna! ❤
Спасибо, Анна большое. Очень актуальная тема. Я это прошла. И всем спасибо за комментарии. Нашла своих.Живем в разных странах а проблемы у нас одинаковые. Я рада,что подписана на ваш канал.
Thank you for this video very insightful ❤
Thank you Anna😊
This video find me in perfect moment
well spoken ❤
You look amazing in that purple top!
Totally agree with you Anna 👍 💯 😊
I am loving these videos.
Im going through some changes as well. I love your videos.❤
Yes Anna 💛☀️
This happens when you start enforcing your boundaries
This is a VERY GOOD upload. Can we please have more like this? Could we have something from your past experiences, with people, or how you used to feel about things, perceptions, what your therapist advise, just about general things.
Well said
Thank u for sharing this info ..it's nice ❤❤❤ may Gbu ana from philippines
Yep it is!!
So proud of you❤so proud how you evolved ❤proud you go deep❤and this topic for many really hits ❤because when we grow up,when we start to do bette,the hater,emotional vampire name it come to try to
Destroy your way😢😢😢don’t let that happen
Anna, i enjoy your second channel❤❤❤❤❤So gooood🎉🎉🎉
You look beautiful Anna❤
I hope you’re paying your therapist enough for all the information you’re using from your sessions 😂❤
The Anna I know is back❤fierce fiery honest straight to point and I can continue etc❤love to
Have you back the
Anna she expressed herself fully and exuse me😂doesn’t give a s …. About haters,loosers,dark entities
Truth
Some Anna gospel and afternoon tea 🍵🙏🏽
Great video❤😘🌞❤️keep going 😂Aries nation❤
An we please have a skincare routine
Anna, can you please make a video on how to let go of past relationships? Please❤❤❤❤
Wow what your saying makes so much sence 😳 and on top of all that the brain is hardwired to detect the negative 🤔 what do study ?
❤
🥰
Hi Anna I would like to request a video how to elegantly handle another woman flirting with your husband ❤
As always thanks so much for your lovely content you have helped me so much with upgradig my life
Where is polish text? 😢
Dear ladies, I wish to hear your thoughts about a problem i'm facing...I'm currently almost 19 years old (I have been watching anna's videos since I was 13) So I finished school last year in 2023 and instead of going to college I took an year off to study to give the med school entrance exam to get into med school. The exam was 2 weeks ago and despite studying and working hard for it I wasn't able to get the marks I expected due to some circumstances which happened that day. I passed the exam but due to my score only some mediocre colleges are available to me even though I was aiming to get into the best ones. I know some of you might say knowledge is the same no matter which college you to go to but that is sadly not true in my country. Should I settle for the mediocre college which i'll be attending for 5 years or take another year off and go to college of my dreams next year? (I'm having doubts because I know I can do it but the ppl around me are going to taunt me so much that you're taking another year off although it's quite common in my country that ppl take 2-3 even 5-7 years to prepare for this exam) I was only lagging by a few marks which I know I can improve next year and another thing bothering me is that i'll be 20 when I reach college but still become a doctor by the time i'm 25. My dream is to get my medical degree in my country and after it give the US medical license exam and move there and become a great doctor. I don't settle for lesser things easily and I feel like if I settle for a mediocre college where I have to spend 5 years I will lose confidence in myself and my ability to become a good doctor and might not even move to the us which has been my lifelong dream. What are your thoughts ladies and anna if you're reading this?
It's important to create a discipline and strength in yourself that you are able to do what is best for you regardless of what other people say. You are the only one that has to really live with your decisions not them. Part of growing up and becoming an adult is being able to make hard choices for yourself. It's easier to have someone tell you what to do because then you don't have to deal with the consequences if it fails. But a part of becoming an adult is being able to make scary hard choices for yourself and be able to adjust in the future if you need to. Some people in the United States are going to medical school in their 30s and 40s so you shouldn't let your age make you feel rushed. It's not going to serve you if you rush to start school but it doesn't help you in the future. If these better schools are going to make a big difference in your career I feel it would be better to wait. In the United States where I live sometimes going to a better school can help your career getting a job. But you need to consider all of the information and decide the best choice for you. Like what if you don't get into your dream school next year? Are you holding these schools on a pedestal or are they actually much better in teaching you medicine. I think the best thing would be to make a list and plan. What's the benefit of waiting and going ahead. And what would be your plan next year if you didn't get in? Would you go to the mediocre school then to get your medical schooling started? It can be scary to make such a big choice that can affect your future but be comforted by that many people have the same fear. Don't let the fear or what others will say decide your future. Their words, just like mine, are information you can use to consider to make your decision. But you have to decide what's best for you. I'm over 30 and starting a new career and I'm uncertain about it. Many people around me tell me it's wrong but I know what's best for me so I'm going to continue it. Make a list and back up plan that will suit you and then decide. And even if the plans change you can adjust along the way. It's not all or nothing. You can adapt at any point. Good luck. 💜
Don't ask advice on life decisions from strangers on the internet. You'll find the right answer for you, from your own soul/mind.
I think you know in your heart of hearts what you want to do and want confirmation that it is the right choice. I agree that strangers on the Internet shouldn't be making that choice for you.
My advice is to always have a plan B. If you choose to wait a year to get into your preferred University how can you best use that time to improve other areas of your life. If you chose to go to the mediocre university what can you do in other aspects of your life to make yourself a better doctor. Best of luck!
@@karikasumi888 Thank youu ❤️❤️❤️
@@morestylethancash7603 Thank youu 💕💕💕