Don't Fix, Focus on Feel Good
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- čas přidán 10. 09. 2024
- Don't Fix, Focus on Feel Good
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I think this whole perceived danger pain is actually a motor output issue Dan. We’re constantly on high alert, drinking caffeine, texting, all to try and distract ourselves. The entire system is on overdrive all the time. I used to think it was just physical, but now I’m realizing the mind and body are one. Physical shouldn’t be to fix, but to build a relationship with yourself in a way that feels natural. Understanding biomechanics is great but it will never work if you TRY REALLY HARD every time you try to change a joint orientation. You just have to relax and focus on feeling good. Getting rid of bad habits etc. It’s all ONE game of BALANCE and SELF CARE.
I feel like all of these things are like layers that build up to help you calm your nervous system. Going for a walk, doing something creative, meditating, yoga, positive visualisation etc are all things that help a tiny bit but when put together they are powerful in calming my nervous system. Loss of symptoms as a result is like an occasional side effect that comes and goes but isnt the main goal. Ive also found a lot of benefit from Havening techniques which are scientifically proven to help with trauma. Most of my anxiety/symptoms came from repeated traumas so this works well for me.
I can really resonate with what you typed, especially since you’re talking about trauma (I know that’s almost a buzz-kill word these days, but it is real!!!). Yes, layers! I think all of us need to find what helps us because we are all so different and very individual.
Dan is so wise, generous, and helpful.
Totally agree with what you say about all the things adding up to creating a safe, calm inner feeling & settled nervous system.❤
When you say repeated traumas, what do u mean exactly? Becuse I feel like I get repetitive symptoms due to the same feelings that crop up because current life situations bring up those emotions. If that’s understandable…
I've had a lot of health related traumas such as traumatic births leading to disability, cancer, unexplained retina damage etc There was a time period when something went significantly wrong with my or my family's health every few months so I ended up expecting bad things to happen.
@@MillicentRuby-fc5sv so sorry to hear all that. Yet here you are understanding it! You will thrive!
I'm naming you as my offical mentor Dan. I saw something from another trauma coach that said 45% of healing is co regulation, work with someone, get a mentor. I can't really afford that at the moment, but then I realized that you are basically that already. Daily inspiration and encouragement, lots of answers, in it for the long haul with us...thank you so much😢❤😊 going to focus on what's working and what I do have and the progress I've seen already. I had a major digestive epsiode, and once i realized it was due to fight flight freeze and started safety and visualizing joyful times, it completely settled and regulated in like 24hrs. ❤ building confidence and hope and safety, and your videos help
He's the best mentor I know!❤
When it comes to nervous system activation i believe every individual is different, so there really isnt just one thing that works and one doesnt. We need to find the things that calm us down and help us connect to life again. For some it's doing the activities they love and for others it's therapy.
Exactly!! We’re all individuals who live in a “fix it now” society!!
I’m so glad you’ve changed your perspective on meditation, deep breathing and visualization because these actually help me, I just didn’t know why. Good reframe :)
"Don't Fix, Focus on Feel Good" - That's going on my wall as a daily reminder 😊 It's so true, I notice the positive effect when I meditate because I feel like it, and I notice the subtle struggle when I meditate to fix. Thanks, Dan!
💯 Calm the system. Cultivate feelings of peace and safety. Release the stress. Also, feel the feelings. I often cry during meditation just because I am finally slowing down and checking in with myself. 👍🏻👍🏻
This is great. And it's what Alan Gordon talks about also. He calls it outcome independence. Don't do things to get better. Just do the things you love to do.
Dan do you get noticed in public now?? Because you’re definitely a celebrity to us! ❤
Agree 100% about the meditation- it’s my way of calming my whole system. It just helps overall!! I’ve never been into it before, but feeling the benefits of just 20 mins a day.
So with you on this!❤
Interesting thing happened me this week Dan. Since 2020 I've been trying to heal using the TMS approach. We were in Norway last week, first vacation in 10 years, and we were doing so much I just couldn't be ill with symptoms, so after the first few days of having nonstop symptoms I told my brain it's non negotiable, I just have to be getting on and doing stuff, going into places etc. And you know the symptoms reduced to nearly nothing. My issues for anyone reading are food intolerances, mainly inhaling wheat fumes. I've been around a lot of wheat this past week and I am ok. First time ever.
Wow amazing about the wheat, good for you ! I used to be gluten free, then stopped when I found Dan. I also stopped g.f. because the prices are so high, at least here in the U.S. 💕
Yes exactly, the OBSESSION of wanting to do things in order to feel normal again, and the OBSESSION with the pains themselves, did NOTHING..
Each thing we love to do will make us feel good and calm the nervous system.
So excited to watch that successtory !’
Thanks in advance Dan and have a fun weekend ❤
Wishing you a calm weekend dear Inge.❤
@@josiejo117 a calm peaceful weekend for you too sweetie!🙏❤️🙋♀️
Yes! I become obsessed with feeling good in order to do the thing I so want to do! The leading up to is like a shoe dropping. Sometimes I think I am self sabotaging or maybe putting it out to the universe that I won't be able to...and boom...I'm learning to calm the nervous system here and focus on what feels good 😊 Have a nice Sunday everyone! ❤🌷🌄
@@user-dianejcml so recognizable Diane! But hey you are doing great! Keep going and have a lovely Sunday!🥰☀️🙋♀️
@@Inge508 Ah thank you Inge! Makes me feel understood saying that out loud ☺️ I want to try again next week to keep a lunch date with a dear friend. Happy Sunday to you too ❤️🌷❤️
A priest recommended the easiest way to get out of despondency or depression is to exercise 30 minutes a day, get outside for a walk and be in nature, learn how to fix or repair something around the house, clean a room, and help someone else with something. He says it works every time.
I love meditation--breathing, etc--because………… my problem is high anxiety. Cannot wait to watch Phil’s success story
Thx for your support Dan! Life is not always easy but you're helping mutch more than Doctors do..🙏🙏🙏💐
Beautiful said ❤
So True. 🙂
Yes.
And, I need to make peace with doctors in my head. On the one hand, thank goodness they never “found” anything. On the other hand, I’m mad at them. I wish early on in this saga that one had said: you’re fine. Go live your life.
Thank you thank you thank you Dan you bring much hope and light to my life. Seriously. You are a gift from God Almighty- Thank you Jesus! ❤
Hello Dan, I am just letting you know that you are an angel, I am tremendously grateful to you for my peace of mind. I am sending you love and light from Morocco.
I'm glad that you are addressing this given that safety is a key component of recovery. I've noticed how you talk about things like meditation and breath work as outcome oriented, but meditation is really just about being with oneself without judgment and with curiosity. It's a great tool for feeling safer in the mind and the body
I’d heard meditation recommended over and over, and finally in January 2020 when I quit my neurologist, I decided I was going to meditate every day for a year and if, after that, I wasn’t impressed I would quit and not look back. I used Jon Kabat-Zinn’s app first thing every morning. Only a few weeks passed and I knew I would meditate for the rest of my life. It was the first thing that started to calm me down, long before I discovered Dan’s videos. I no longer meditate every single day, as it did for a time become something I thought I ‘had’ do to and I would stress if I missed it, but I will never quit. I use both mindfulness and transcendental meditation. I increase frequency when I start to get wound up again. The benefits are far wider than pain reduction, which to be honest doesn’t always happen! It’s not an instant fix, it’s just a part of the puzzle, another way to take care of myself. Slow walks are great, too.
I did all the same Dan! It may sound odd but I used to not believe the statement "were always visualizing" but I actually found in my journey its 100% accurate. The brain almost doesnt even know the difference because its running off a template that can be continually updated with your behaviors.
I learned that everytime im out facing a fear or confronting and doing something im avoiding, my sensations can get extremely intense. What ive learned and has been really key for me is those are the moments where the work comes in to basically press on (and do nothing at the same time, because if you truly knew it would go away would have to do anything?). In the past I would try visualizing a better outcome trying to make whatever I was doing easier or do something to inturrupt the cycle but its impossible. That is called TMSing. You have to just put yourself through it and expect the best. I started realizing thats the core of outcome indepence/indifference. Put your brain in the danger to teach it safety and it gains corrective experiences. I wrote off visualization completely because I was doing it to FIX. What I did find though is that as Ive been facing my fears, visualization of wanting to do more bigger and better things and having a life after chronic pain has been becoming an automatic thing. Visualizing what I want and where I want to go and do, sorta just keeps happening now on its own...
@Butterflyintheskywhite yea doesnt work
@Butterflyintheskywhite put yourself in the triggers situations and do nothing
“From your student you will be taught.” We are always learning something new - especially if we remain open. Look forward to the interview 🐸
Yes. This! The same could also be said of many therapies such as massage, yoga, stretching, PT, acupuncture. Those things may not "fix" your symptoms but they may calm you down and make you feel good.
Thank you for teaching!💘
Miserable day here in London lol grey , drizzle and freezing!
Pleased I managed to get outside so that's a plus.
We have to remember we are not broken, so no fixing necessary.
Have a great weekend and thank you for your time, much appreciated 🙏
80 F 26 C sending you some warmth. 💕
😂thanks @@marieleak8731
I definitely am one to visualize these days. In meditation I visualize positive things bc those 60-80k negative hypervigilant protection thoughts need a counterbalance. Putting in positive stuff keeps me from ruminating on negative thoughts from past. Im into yoga especially after walking 2 to 5 miles daily ..really loosens up the bod. All positive comforting things that add to a good day in TMS-ville. Helps breathing bc I'm a shallow breather so this retrains my breathing process. Looking forward to that success story from Cali. Lived there 25 yrs. Again, much appreciated 🎉❤😊
So true, this is probably one of your most important messages.
Your examples are the best sir.
I love meditation and have done it for years! I do it because I love how it makes me relax. Can’t wait to see the success story.
Meditation is practice of stopping thought so u don’t think anything including negative thoughts
Meditation isn’t stopping thoughts, you can’t stop thoughts. It’s about learning to observe them.
Are you a night owl Dan?
Great video thank you for uploading so consistently I love these late night videos. Somehow they are always so relatable to where I’m at in my journey.
Dan is right it’s an emotional journey first feel good right now despite anything physical step by step then u will see physical evidence. Ooooh it’s so hard so hard when u r stuck in physical symptoms but it’s true it’s emotional first
Yes! Ive been part of some mind body groups like dnrs and the gupta program and they say doing the visualizations and the meditations are to help calm the nervous system and once the nervous system is calm enough the byproduct of that will be the pain or illness will get better. Was a big aha moment for me. I was trying to do it to get rid of the pain. Now i do them for the enjoyment of doing them.
YES!!! ❤
So looking forward to hearing Phil's story. I was "diagnosed" with R.A. and in the mind body community itself, there is conflicting theories about R.A. Thanks Dan 🥰
Cant wait to hear Phils story Dan ty ❤️ 💗 💓
As you were talking I was thinking fear is actually visualisation and you talk about fear alot. Actually a lot of your concepts I place in context of my faith. When Jesus said don't worry about tomorrow but seek first the kingdom or come unto Me and you will find rest it was a mind shift a different way of seeing. Refocusing on the greater thing letting go of the constriction and oppression of being in control and needing outcomes to be our way. Blessings to you Dan!!
Excellent title. This is exactly how a placebo pill works. Focusing on the negative is a nocebo. Colin is awesome.
Meditation is about letting go, not getting anything. Also leafblower guy is taking care of his home, is grateful for what he has so keeps it clean ...
fallen and decomposing leaves provide nutrition for the soil to absorb, as well as providing a habitat and hibernating space for insects year-round. nature, including that we find in our back yard, doesn't need to be 'clean' to be well taken care of. sometimes the best way to take care of something is to let it be, exactly how it is, with as minimal regulation as is required.
Love you too Dan! Thank you for all you do for us
That's a difficult shift to make, I've found. I don't know if it can be done consciously, the only times I've been afforded that truly zoomed out/higher perspective is under the influence of plant medicines, where you can see more clearly the mechanics of the subconscious.
Are there any previous videos on how to be more patient during the recovery process? I am deeply grieving all the things I’ve been physically unable to do since becoming unwell. I should be grateful for days when symptoms aren’t as bad, but instead, as soon as I feel just a little better temporarily, I get more upset at how much of my life I’m
missing out on. I want to be out doing all the things I can’t do right now (but I believe I will do again one day!).
I’m at a very early point in the process where I only have better days by doing next to nothing and not pushing physically/mentally/emotionally AT ALL. I’m so happy to have found you, Dan, and I’m working on learning the basics and getting more stable before I start pushing more. I *know* this won’t be an overnight process, but how do I accept this?
I think grieving is a part of the process we have to go through so maybe it would help if you gave yourself a time limit? Like, I will grieve today or this week, then enough, I’m moving on now. I needed to grieve, and I still do sometimes, but it’s so counterproductive as it locks us into a pattern of negative behaviour if we’re not careful. It took almost a year from me. However, you will know yourself how much time you need to then move forward; then you start to look at your healing process in the moment and not from the past or the future. Hope that helps - best of luck to you ❤
I don’t think you did anything wrong at the time, it’s just these fases we’re going through. Even though we try to let it go, the outcome. Because that’s really a process, in my view. At least for me it was. Sometimes you know you’re not doing the right thing, but to do it differently requires certain amount of surrender and acceptance of our situation. And that can’t be forced, that takes time.
So I hope people will not blame themselves for doing it ‘the wrong way’. Because that may add to our self hate.
Nobody does this on purpose. It’s just part of our processes, and for one person this may take a month and for me it almost took a decade. It still is a process as I am still in process.
Really looking forward to your next success story with Phill. Meditation isn't to fix my sensations either...personally for me it's a safe space of no distraction dedicated to sitting still & being with what is...whatever this may be...and in this safe space there is acceptance, allowance, love, compassion, peace & calm. Was it like this in the beginning? Hell no!! But day by day with consistent & repeated practice everything begins to settle...trust is built & grows in this beingness that is beyond all thought, emotion, sensation & time. I face the fear, sit with it, begin to accept it & befriend it. It's a process for sure...but I know I was not born with psychological fear so for me this is my way back home to my original nature. I wish peace & love to all. Enjoy your show Dan❤
What a beautiful way to promote meditation dear Josie ! I’m sure you are already very good at it and you will heal your beautiful soul !❤️❤️❤️
@@Inge508 Your kindness & love is a meditation Inge...meditation is just being aware of our true nature, which is unconditional love...when connected to this truth it flows...I feel it flowing from you.❤
@@josiejo117 you are such a blessing ❤️❤️❤️🥰
@@Inge508 😍❤
Meditation is one thing that helped me overcome symptoms throughout my life when I didn’t know it was mind body pain (TMS)it raises your vibration so u are less coming into thoughts of lower vibrations like fear. It steadys you emotionally. But I just started it again this time round.
Thank you for sharing what works for some even if it was not exactly what worked for you!
different take good to hear. Look forward to more
Thank you and really looking forward to success story video.
Thank you sir
Thank you!
The tractor boy adds to the country vibes
Thanks Dan
This is one video I'm glad I watched today..Thanks Dan!
I’m going to a comedy show too !
So much fun
Joe Dispenza is good for visualization meditations
Hi Dan , what was then what help you with your recovery the most ? ❤
Hey dan can i do visuals standing up and pacing because of akathisa
Experiment. Focus on what makes you feel safe and not broken/sick.
Hey guys, can restless leg syndrome be a manifestation of TMS/ perceived danger? I got rid of plenty of nerve / tendonitis arm pain. However, Im still moving around during my sleep but it doesn’t seem like pain.
Dan, what do you about the DARE response?
You are always sitting in a wooded yard. Don’t you have a leaf blower and mower to care for your yard? You’re always poking fun at the guy taking care of his yard, I have a big wooded yard and they take a lot of care. 😆
yards needing constant care and upkeep is a bit of a myth. there's nothing wrong with the presence of fallen leaves - as they decompose, they form nutritious mulch for the soil to absorb, and also provide habitats and hibernating spaces for insects throughout the year. long grass is a part of nature - if you want to keep it navigable, all you really have to do is mow it about once every 6 months. that way, wildflowers and other native plants can grow uninhibited. if we really want to 'take care' of the outdoor spaces we inhabit, we must take the time to understand how they work, what's important about them, and what is truly best for them, to help them form their unique and precious ecosystems - rather than just what we think 'looks' best or tidiest to us.
1st time here! Found while looking for Meditation videos on severe anxiety/worry etc. (which I do hours a day along with Yoga, Parasympathetic exer, breathing…too many to mention and lately rock bottom so PLEADING with God to heal or take me-stomach a mess, can’t eat, sleep, barely function-sorry but feel IN Nervous Breakdown, and terrified). Recently divorced after 28 yrs, had to leave my emotional support dog as too sick to care for her. TONS of diff types of drs, 10’s of thousands of dollars…yadee-yada right? ENOUGH!
So feeling VERY alone right now and feel every day might be (IS) my last…
I CANNOT calm my body or brain, but It makes SO much sense when you say instead of OH NO!, use Oh well…to train the brain to feel safe.
I will continue to listen and Pray you will help me change the way my body and brain react and respond!
I can now only Pray for Guidance so God must have brought me to you. Thank you for what you do to try and help others❣🙏❤🩹