You won’t be happy until you understand this…
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- čas přidán 1. 06. 2024
- We all just want to be "happy," but if you don't even know what happiness is how can you possibly hope to obtain it? This question has been haunting me since I was four years old. The idea of spending most or all of my life chasing after something, only to finally capture it and realize it wasn't what I wanted terrifies me.
I sincerely believe that most of the world is focused on things that aren't worth focusing on. There's a foundational, fundamental component of life that must be present for anything else to matter and most people put it on the backburner or ignore it entirely. After this episode, you'll know what it is and how to keep it in the forefront of your pursuit.
Get my book: For When Everything is Burning
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Wow. My husband and I are around your age and feel like we are struggling with just the relentlessness of being an adult and parent. This is one of the most helpful videos I’ve ever seen. The fact I can listen to someone of your caliber for free in my home is absolutely astounding. Thank you for taking the time to make these videos.
I feel the exact same way. I'm getting answers to questions that I know I wouldn't be asking my new therapist (only seen her twice now) for quite some time. That's one of the big downfalls of starting with a new therapist. Suffice it to say that I have had more than my share of traumatic events that have occurred in my life, and I haven't had a clue how to handle them. I suppress so much. Dr. Scott's podcasts are really helping me understand all my loose screws. It will or would take years to discuss my these things with a therapist face to face. Being able to read comments from folks with more than their own fair share of issues and having the opportunity to comment back is very freeing for me. I'm probably not making any sense because it's late, and I'm beat. I hope you catch my drift, though.
@@vickykent353 YES! Thank you so much for replying to me!! I relate to you so much. I have done therapy off and on for years and I know the struggle of finding and starting with someone new. You need to and you want to, but it's also a lot of work to bring them up to speed on your life. WHEW. Who knew that being an adult would be so hard. We are lucky in this day and age we have access to so much more information than previous generations did, but with that comes a lot of pressure to do it all perfectly right!!!! It really felt nice to have someone respond to me today, so thank you so much!!
@lanawr80 I hear ya! Thanks for acknowledging the difficulty of starting with a new therapist, too! It feels nice to be validated. So many thanks! 😊
@@lanawr80😢
Cut yourself some slack, cos being a parent is NOT easy breezy and any one who says it is..lied! But if for most of the time you tried your best, you are already a winner 😁
Finally, a mental health doctor who cares about helping the disturbed find answers. YOU'RE THE BEST!!!
I've probably seen 8 therapists in my lifetime of 55 years... And didn't resonate with most of them. Your explanation is so clear and so simple. Thank you. I've saved it and will listen to it again.
CBT is like this. The whole thing is based on the premise that the depressed person is wrong. But sometimes the depressed person isnt wrong and the bad things are real.
He has another video that addresses exactly this. I think it's something around "Intelligence and Depression"
I've had depressive bouts all my life with no real understanding of what was happening. Tried lots of external changes and zombified myself with Prozac for a bit. Your direct approach coming from a place of personal knowledge has helped me more in the last month than anything in the previous 67 years. Thank you so much. ❤
Same!!❤❤
Life is full of pain, happiness is little moments that allow us to breathe in between. That’s how I see it, especially as I get older.
To live is to suffer… to find the meaning in the suffering is to live!
But life should and could be the other way round...lots of joy and little pain...we get to choose which road we walk down...
Life is difficult, sometimes it is bloody awful. And we are not born with a guide to "living our best life". We spend our entire lives endeavoring to make sense of a world which, quite often, does not make sense. An ancient Roman (Cicero? Seneca?) wrote "pain is inevitable; suffering is optional." Maybe not the easiest advice to follow, but it is an important idea to remember. It will not automatically take away the pain, but it can help, to some degree, make it more.bearable.
Exactly my truth at this point in life 🙌
I feel the same way. Is has been the greatest comfort, really. Given where I am in this life journey.
Possibly the most concise and valuable psychology resource on CZcams. Good stuff. Very helpful-- thank you!
One thing I know from living it..I'm 74 years old and there is a silent unreported epidemic of depression, anxiety,
loneliness, isolation and suicide in the elderly. Forced retirement has resulted in thoughts that life is meaningless
and you have no purpose. Your self worth plummets and boredom, monotony, and life becomes a never ending
loop of doing the same thing day after day, you become habituated rote, existing, not living.
Join groups of like-minded people, take classes and learn new skills, go to activity centres for the elderly, make new friends and have fun. Don't give up on life, there are always new experiences to enjoy ❤️
@@mbolden393 Thank you for your kind words, compassion, support and suggestions. I go for weeks
without talking to another human being.
@@mbolden393 I agree. We're living longer than people did in earlier times-- many people in my life have planned for career change, rather than traditional retirement. it's part of human nature for us to feel useful and valued, so making a change could make all the difference.
I love being retired! I'm busy and relaxed, finally have time for me and all the things I love to do. Even just sitting in the sun and listening to the birds is fantastic.
@@trudibarraclough478We are two birds of a feather in this case. ❤ I love the same! I can be quite simple many days, enjoying the graces and blessings of our Creator.
"You *are* putting good stuff out there" I cant afford therapy, but watching your videos is helping me tremendously, especially this episode. The meaning of my name means "to be happy" and I always joked with people and say that I live up to my name ... then something changed and that feeling disappeared. I am struggeling to get it back, because I miss it and this video is just what I needed to hear again. Thank you!
Hey brother. Just found you channel today. I’ve noticed that you sometimes say “I know this sounds a little cheesy” and other stuff like that, and I know to some degree that comes from a place of insecurity but I just want you to know we can feel the love emanating from your words so even if it is “a little cheesy” we can feel the care and love in your words. Stay strong man and keep speaking because you’re helping people change their lives for the better. ❤
Hear hear.
I am trying to heal from the loss of a relationship and a job for the last 2+ years and I have lost myself and my happiness. I have just recently found you on CZcams and enjoy your videos. This one hit pretty hard, I've become isolated and don't really have a lot of friends and no single friends. My ex has married and chose to live in town which is hard for me so I don't go to town much. I'm on a roller-coaster right now and trying to find my happiness 😊
He's one of the few mental health professionals on CZcams that explode with this aura of sincerity. You can really hear it in his voice that he genuinely wants to help people.
Amen
Totally agree
I don't desire happiness, just purpose & relief for pain. Happiness is a desire of the young.
As someone who is not so young anymore, I disagree with you. Having pain and feeling you have no purpose can make many of us unhappy. When you realize your purpose and you're able to manage your pain, I believe level of happiness goes up. I understand pain doesn't always mean physical.
This is why I appreciate these videos
We are not alone on our journey
I also find being present in every moment helps ground myself.
It actually doesn’t even exist no such thing as happiness
Not true. Absence of good friends has had a direct and measurable effect on my happiness. I have always been happier when I have had friends. Loneliness kills happiness
Me too I literally feel the same if I have good friends as if everything comes back to life..but I don't have friends
After my first husband died twenty years ago, my life has been complete hell! Sure, we went through bad things before, but not like this! He was a very reliable, constant person…..I don’t have that anymore.
depends on the character trait and if you an introvert or extrovert
The problem with partners and friends is that they are outside of you, they can leave at any time, they've got their own lives going on, they're not always there..and why should they be...we need to be our own best friend and take responsibility for ourselves. Let others off the hook. Thats were true empowerment comes from...sometimes it's just tougher though.
I feel torn coz I have always had toxic friends and had better times than I do on my own. There's not much you can do totally on your own, I find it very limiting. And now that I have no friends, I struggle hard, except for days when I need to be alone.
HOWEVER, some people have had a HUGE preponderance of experiences in life that ANYone would consider negative and bad feeling. It's hard to overcome that.
After years of therapy (yet still marginally to significantly depressed, depending on where I am in my depression cycle), I am consistently getting more help from your straightforward podcasts than from anyone else. I follow you religiously, and can always find new insights and actions each time. I can’t thank you enough. ❤
Our entire world is 7 inches wide. Meaning, our world is perceived between our two ears which is about 7”. (in the brain).
It is rare that someone of such youthful years has gained such insights as to the working influence and colors of life created by our individual minds. The collective power of our minds is a force difficult to imagine. To be able to recognize the power for both growth or destruction is a leap into true freedom.
Thanks! I’m actually pretty old though 😂
.....very best approach I've ever encountered.....user friendly....respectful while realistic....genuine help....appreciative and grateful to find this healer.....
Thanks and welcome
Both of my two brothers have committed suicide. I am grateful I have found your site but also self aware enough (I think) to know that it always has to come back to me…… and I am just sooo tired of the fight. I fought the good fight for 63 years but since Covid….I am so shut down I don’t even want to try anymore. Maybe, just maybe something here will help as in my province of NS, Canada our health care system is nonexistent. 🇨🇦 Thank you for this work you are doing. You never know who’s life this may reach and save.
57 years old....just started watching these videos....I agree COVID 19 changed alot of things for many of us in this age group. TY for sharing 🌹☺️👍
❤
Tired too. 62 soon. All by myself. Fear of job loss, home loss (renting). No money. Realising the many mistakes I have made. But I know, there is a way out. It's actually comforting.
Same situation here with my 2 brothers. I was the last one to speak to both of them. It's a lot to handle sometimes. Try good probiotics for gut health and keep watching self help videos. Avoid the medical system at all cost. I wish you well.
I am so sorry to hear that you had had to live through that. ❤
I am 72, and this makes complete sense! When I keep a well-rounded life, a step at a time and a day at a time, making even little advances in small goals, then overall, I find myself basically happy and contented. My faith in Jesus and what he's done to show how immensely God loves us by his grace and bringing that to mind and heart daily is the most important thing that keeps me moving forward. And being thankful for all the small daily blessings put in front of you. Keeping a contented mind as you move along even when working on new goals, trusting all things will work together for your good, as God says they will. Thank you, Dr. Scott!❤😊
No one said we should be happy all of the time, however, finding joy in the world ( small things usually - a silly meme, your podcast, cake) is a worthwhile pursuit and keeps me going.
Yes...the simple things in life really can make one feel happy,even if it's just for a bit.♡
Cake lol. It does make me happy.
I love that attitude @annetcell, I think I'll take a slice of it too.
❤cake
In all my years of trauma therapy I wish someone could have explained this to me as easily as you did in this podcast. My translator needs to be fired for years of translating only doom. Wow! So powerful. Thank you for all your videos but especially because they are free and genuine. I have been on disability 8 years and noone has offered to help me for free. May God bless you!
Sorry it took this long ❤️
I prayed about this in the wee hours of the morning. Your video showed up. This video answered all of the questions, I prayed about! May the Creator bless you. ❤🇹🇹
This is the first time I have seen your videos.
He answered prayer. You were His instrument! ❤🇹🇹
Wonderful!
Omg! Me too! This is my silent struggle that is SO hard to articulate! You do it so well, Dr Scott...thank you. Very practical, rational, no empty promises--your life experience and what works.
St Augustine wrote about this and 'memories' in reflecting about life.
I have responded before on some of your postings. But there is no way for me to EVER find a happiness in my life again following a dramatic and traumatic cancer diagnosis and surgery and recovery. My entire world has been destroyed and I have been left with being crippled on my right leg with a supposedly returning cancer. I keep asking my surgeons and oncologists what they thought they saved my life to do - sit in a chair in my home all day with my arms folded and waiting on a cancer return. But I have taken steps to help move things ahead and get this over with asap! I am angry and this is not fixable in any way or by any means.
“All experience is preceded by mind,
Led by mind,
Made by mind.”
Opening lines of the Dhammapada
Greetings Sir, i've been watching for a while, I have posted to your videos before but always deleted them shortly after as i didnt want to appear weak. I started watching when the dark dreams got worse. I'm a veteran with 12 yrs in the service. 2 weeks ago i decided i couldnt do it anymore and was ready to end it when a friend video called randomly, I began treatment yesterday for PTSD and wouldn't have had the strength to do so without the advice in some of your videos.
There is nothing weak about that. I’m so glad you are working on taking better care of yourself! ❤️💪
@@DrScottEilersyou are making a difference to people. Its because we can feel that you have walked in our shoes, the words, the expressions the absolute way you speak from the heart..l trust you because l know you understand. It's truly touched my soul..l know you care about us. Thank you for stretching out your hand to us and sharing your wisdom. deep appreciation. X
Great analogy of the tree across the road. I feel like a whole forest of trees have been blocking that road for yrs. I had cleared about 3/4 of it when my husband became ill and died a couple yrs later. So back to clearing the road again taking time for myself and revoving those trees. In the process of making new memories. Thank you for making these videos. 🙂❤
My heart sends love to your heart.
Wow. Watching this video at 3am will be one of those pivotal moments I look back on as life changing. I fear I’ll lose the lessons in the cacophony of life when the sun comes up, so I will listen again. Thank you for this and I’ll be sharing, too. ❤
I should add that I’ll reexamine my sleep hygiene as part of clearing that road, too. 😉
As someone who has had many of those pivotal moments thanks to others it’s crazy to think that I am one of them for you ❤️
@@DrScottEilers That must be an awesome feeling! And you do this as a free service, too. The internet is the great equalizer. Thanks again! I’m going to keep watching and sharing.
Also watching this at 3am 😢 Things always feel so bad at this time of the night.
@@monadegiovanni3878 It’s so true! We’re usually having a night of insomnia or worrying about things. So it was nice to watch a video that made so much sense & was even perspective changing in an empowering way. Best wishes to you! You’re worth all the effort. 💕
Showing you, "A little Love." I love your teaching and delivery. I love the way in which you share... You are reaching us from a platform of experiences yourself. Deeply impactful and with your education which, obviously, you worked hard for - we are blessed by your messages and insight. (Along with everything else I said). Thank You!
Thank you so much!
I can only say that this wonderful video about finding "happiness" resonated "Right On The Button" for me!!! I've been
struggling with Mental Illness for ALL of my 68 yrs (anxiety, depression, CPTSD, OCD and now BPD). Thank You so
much, Dr. Scott, for helping all those people -- like me -- find truthful and clear answers, as to why we get "stuck" in
"self-imposed mental prisons" which deny us of living "happy", and healthier lives. Tks!! Great job!!! ❤ 🙏
I like the glitchy translator metaphor! You mentioned the example of someone giving a compliment but it doesn’t compute. Can you talk more about the social consequences of depression, anxiety, inner critic, shame, etc. I’ve dealt with this stuff for so long that I’ve not been able to keep up socially and feel very awkward a lot of the time now.
The best explanations of depression ive heard. There is an error in translating the external world to the internal world.
Your road is a superhighway and the world is finding its way to your heart, Dr. Scott. You are nothing short of a phenomenon. Your content is reaching people around the world who've been suffering and needing your clear, direct, friendly voice to give them hope. Thank you for getting up the courage to start. You've inspired me!
Sounds similar to what the Stoics talked about. That it’s not events that upset us, it’s our opinion of those events that upset us. They would 100% agree with you, that it’s our interpretations of the external that bring us positive feelings or negative feelings. To a large degree we do have control over how we CHOOSE to interpret the world.
Not easy for an empath.😅
That faulty translater is EXACTLY right. So much of my life has been lost because my inner translation told me something that was not true. And it is so difficult. My "translater" constantly told me people were not understanding and quick to anger and expected perfectionism of me, and so I have projected that on people who just want to accept me. Working through it is probably the most difficult process I have (it is still an ongoing process).
I completely agree. I have always been a little overweight. I got close to 300 pounds (not shaming, just sharing) after having my 4th child. I have a blockage in my bile ducks that's been there for about 19 years or so (I'm 34) and I didn't find out until January of this year what was causing my pain. I ended up sick starting in November 2023 and ended up losing a little over 100 pounds in less than 5 months. During that time everything else went downhill all of my relationships, my work, I fell into the worst depression of my life to the point where I was having trouble getting out of bed and speaking and completing daily basic tasks. I'm still dealing with this. I haven't found a therapist yet but I'm on the lookout.
Hi Scott. Thank you for doing these videos. I found them about two days ago and have been listening ever since. I feel like these are right on time for me. I’ve been in therapy before and have made substantial progress. But I have felt stuck. I love the metaphors. I feel hopeful again. Keep doing what you’re doing. Thanks!
I enjoyed the way you used "The blocked road" as a metaphor. I myself usually say "My computer has mixed wires, or lost chips..."
Ive watched seemingly every self help psychotherapist type of person on youtube but just found this guy and he is the most calm, relatable, encouraging, explanatory, real and seemingly genuine dude of em all. no silly slideshows or clickbait either so good wholesome advice experience and storytelling/analogies. KEEP IT UP
Thank you. You are helping me. I’m 63. I saw doctors for years for anxiety and depression. Every medication had rare side affects. I took Zoloft and it made me crazy. I stopped taking it suddenly without medical supervision. Thought I was going to die for about a week. I don’t take anything now. Tried natural also. They helped but I felt like a zombie. Just try to manage with information to be able to understand what I need to do to stay non-suicidal. I like your delivery. It helps and confirms what I know. I recently became aware of inner child work and that has helped. I have been struggling with depression a bit lately. Hoping it will turn around soon. It used to be worse. I think menopause helped. Vitamin deficiency also factor in. No doctor ever discussed that. Should have. Anyway really like your podcast.
I wonder how late diagnosis autism feeds into all of this. I have recently been asked by a therapist if I have been diagnosed with autism and I started looking onto it as I didn't know much at all about it. I am female and 51 and I think that many of the reasons I hate myself and blame myself for everything could be that imy brain is wired differently. I have read a lot about it in the last few months and will be going to get a diagnosis soon but it does make me wonder if that has been blocking my road for all these years. It's like your translator analogy, that the world speaks one language and I speak another one. I thought I spoke the 'right' language but I had been misinterpreting the messages all my life. I have been miserable for the majority of my life. Your video really made me think about the messages not getting through and whether you have any theories on this.... thanks, from the person fighting the bear with a plastic fork (I love that analogy!)
You reached me and my family at the very right moment in time and I’m almost out of words as to how express how grateful we feel to have found you today. Too much to explain but if I could choose one single great thing that I have discovered on the Internet it is you! So many years of dealing with anxiety, depression, Asperger’s, severe illnesses, etc. with such a long list of therapists, doctors, testing, medications and no real great advice or results from anyone or anything. You just changed that for us and I’m soaking up as much of your wisdom as I can. Eternally grateful to you, THANK YOU! ❤️
A lot of my happiness left when my oldest child became chronically ill. It's very difficult for me to find joy in life or be optimistic for the future.
I just strive to be "content".. usually it involves getting quiet, paying attention to my thoughts and thinking grateful thoughts. Being too plugged into the "matrix" makes me miserable.
At 71, I could appreciate even just reduced stress. Definitely in shutdown and the anhedonia thing is making pain of former pleasures. (Such as viewing a much-anticipated blooming of a Christmas cactus with dread, rather than the usual enjoyment, because I see spent blooms and feel an sudden, unreasonable dread of when the now spectacular bloom will have passed entirely.) That just changing up the norms of location and activity won't help does not come as good news. I'm planning to do those changes anyway because I have no easy options for relieving the stresses. 🤷
Chasing progression, is how I ended up gaining so much weight, and relationships did suffer.
Then in a flash... all that money was ... GONE!
i am happy despite your best efforts to try to convince me that i’m not
18:00 Glitchy translator. . . Brilliant
I loved that analogy too. Makes sense!
Sometimes that "blocked road" is for your own protection. Events others caused to block that road were bad enough to proceed with extreme caution.
Dr. Scott, I have gotten so, so much from your podcasts. They have provided me with a way to understand myself much more than years spent with several therapists. I have
benefitted so much from the dozen or so I've listened to starting with the one on passive SI. Please keep doing what you're doing. I'm absolutely positive that you are helping so many people! I am absolutely blessed to have found you. ❤❤ BTW, I forwarded this particular podcast to 2 people so far.
My man died few years ago and Im almost always sad, but I don't show it. Besides, I've read much about stoism, and to 'Not let anybody affect me in any way " But the loss of my man is so hard to accept and to live, with! I've tried w antidepressiva and it doesn't help. My friends have turned away from me. I know I must not give up. But life is so sad. I love nature & plants, forests and animals, but I live in another country far away from my family, and I'm so afraid of going home. My friends in my homeland don't want to have contact w me. I've been abusing lot of medicine/ tablets, and therefore, I've said so much stupidities and also hurt my friends. My sister, lovely sister, wants me back ❤
I can see a malfunctioning translator has caused a great deal of grief and heartache in my life. This podcast was extremely helpful. Thank you. ❤
When our basic needs like food, water, sleep, shelter, family, employment and love are fulfilled we feel happy
I been dealing with what I think is ptsd because of what happened at the facility I was working at during covid. I'm a nurse.by the was. Currently have sessions with a counselor to deal with the grief. I been watching your episodes on u tube to get some insight into dealing with the depression and the anxiety. You have helped so much. Thank you.
Everyone in the medical field during covid has my absolute admiration & respect. You had a really tough time when the whole world was scrambling for answers. Thank you so much for your efforts & I'm sorry you're struggling now.
Instant Subscriber......You are Good!
Thanks and welcome
Thank you so much. After more than 10 years of counseling which I gave up on 5 years ago, you are shining a bright light on the hardest issues I deal with. Guilt and regret are with me every second because of misunderstanding what is actually happening in my mind. The idea if will power being finite and your daily choices being connected to the highest stimulation activities that you enjoy the most. Also, willpower is actually used when you choose not to do what you love the most was eye-opening to me. So thank you again. You are helping me more than all the counseling I have previously received.
You have really summed up this feeling of 'happiness'. In summary how do you feel when you wake up in the morning or how do you feel mentally and physically sitting in a chair at any time of day without any outside stimulation
It's actually funny in a way that the reason I don't easily buy into a lot of marketing due to the reason that I don't believe any one thing can fix my life or make me happy. The opposite, I feel nothing can fix me or make me happy.
That actually makes sense. I think my translator has gone on vacation or disappeared and that's why I'm not getting any new memories and I don't experience almost anything anymore. I'm just very tired and stressed and doing my stuff like a robot. When I'm alone without anything external I feel just fine, maybe sometimes bored (hardly ever) or tired, but fine, and relieved. Before I was happy enough in my life, but then everything started to go wrong and there was just too much of everything. And yes, I've been trying to do all of those sleeping, nutrition etc. things, but always when I'm doing some progress something comes up and interrupts my progress.
If I could have just a week or two just for me, without any disasters, I might even get up from this swamp. But thanks, that makes me more confident about my strategy, that I'm on the right path even if there are some huge stones and holes and mud and f*cking aggressive aliens on that path. 😅
Makes a lot of sense to me, my friend. I read a book that claimed to be a conversation between the author and God. I remember one thing said by God : "There are two MOTIVATING factors in this universe . One is fear ,the other is love." I challenge all to disproof this. Live life motivated by fear of unhappiness and see what happens. I try to be motivated by love no matter how scared it makes me. I said try. I believe that kind of life contains more happiness than unhappiness too.
Your way of explaining things makes sense to me. I am concept designer and your way of using stories and pictures in your telling, visualises things to me better than any other `just do this, ask questions later`- kinda stuff. So, please go on and keep on things visual to us, it will help even more people!
You are AMAZING!! I’ve stumbled upon you in the last couple days. I am currently experiencing a depressive episode and have entertained passive SI. I’ve had depression and anxiety all of my life, it’s so debilitating and EXHAUSTING- I feel like you are looking right into my soul and explaining what’s happening- WOW WOW WOW. Thank you for your support, I will continue to follow you by subscribing and sharing with others. Bless you Scott 🙏
Coming to grip with who I am, the good the bad the ugly, and accepting myself, trying to better myself and not confirming to society is only a start to accepting oneself. Being happy in my own inner world, realising only i can control my psyche, brings me peace.
Thank you for explaining so eloquently. Opened my eyes, how simple it really all is.
Learning to walk with your own shadow is it 🙏 Hug the cactus! We are all imperfect in an imperfect world, so what right? 🤙
Just found you a couple of days ago, this was 4th or so video I've watched/listened to.Absolutely phenomenal. It's like you're mind reader. All good stuff. Explained in a way that, for lack of better description, just clicks & makes sense. Thank you for doing this.
Thanks and welcome
I'm 32 not that it matters. I've been really down lately. I felt like I was 'healing' for lack of a better word maybe processing negative stuff from growing up. I feel like I don't remember a lot of my childhood. That kind of scares me too going forward.
Anyways what I thought was helping actually led to me being as depressed as I was as a teenager. Feeling of stagnation, being lost & just overwhelmed (even overwhelmed with thoughts of positive things too). It really sucks but I've seen a few of your videos now and they're really helping. Your book too, I'm not that far in, I'm a slow reader but it's resonating. I've watched other people's videos before on this subject matter but most are rather forgettable. No offense intended, they just don't click in the same way I guess. Thanks for your videos I'm sure most of us take something good from them and appreciate it
My biggest take aways from this- it's not that something is wrong with me. I just have an illness. Also, I realize that I kept comparing myself with other non-depressed people and coming up short. How come I need all this extra care, and others seem to be just fine without all this fighting. But now I understand that just like with a physical illness, I need to treat this with particular actions. Feeling less guilt and shame
Having to work outside my home was my 1 big thing to depression and anxiety. My husband and I both had good careers. When we decided to start a family, we decided i would stay home. I was a stay at home mom for 15 years. During that time, I quit smoking, exercised, took care of home, husband, kids. Took great care of me. I was so happy. Then husband changed to a job that made him much happier. He would be making less money. I totally supported him and I went back to work. I've been back at work on and off now for 7 years. I've gained ed 80 pounds, struggling with depression, I'm a chain smoker again... not happy. And there is direct line to my going back to work and my unhappiness😢 So, I'm going to do the work to find a way to be happier with who I am now. Thanx for your help
🙏🙏🙏 that you can find a way that you can again return to being at your home....and 🙏🙏🙏 that your husband will understand and realize the value of your health, and take up the slack...it is possible to live minimalistically....I've done it for my entire life.
YT's algorithm put one of your videos in my feed, and it's spooky, how predictable I must be. I've been pretty distressed for the last couple of weeks -- it's always like that on holidays, but this time, I found out that my worst fears -- being excluded by family -- came true. I knew it. I freaking knew it. I've been through this before, and (kick self) I later laughed at myself for being paranoid.
Not god for one's self esteem, and I dread the idea of a family member showing up & charming me back into laughing at myself.
I've been googling how to trust oneself, because that's the issue I can start working on, and my plan is: walking & picking garbage up around the village. Get myself out of the house since I tend to self-isolate.. I'm hoping I'll have more ideas, and your videos are helping.
This gave me an idea for a video
!!! @@DrScottEilers
Thank you for doing you vlog/podcasts on CZcams.
I am doing several things to attempt to minimize the effects of depression and anxiety in my life. After 25 years of meds, 20 years on/off therapy, 15 years Alanon & AA I still struggle.
I am finding your vids extremely enlightening, and compassionate. It gets hard to stay hopeful when it doesn’t actually ‘go away’.
I listened to you. I have these these passive suicidal thoughts and yes following through scares me and I wonder when will I do it. And I can’t be happy with my life and it’s nothing really. Thank you for helping me get some incite as to why I still here.
being productive and making a difference.
I can track my mood to my environment very closely, I just found your channel and I like your content. I'm 48 years old for reference
Thank you so much for your wisdom and easy-to-understand (mostly) insights. I’m in my 70’s, have dealt with mental health issues all my life really but only became aware of the depth of them a few years ago when I tried to end my life……and my pain and my dark feelings of hopelessness. I became a peer support specialist and received training that helped other people benefit from my lived experience but also taught me skills to manage my mental health rather than become its victim. I’ve been in mental health recovery for over several years now and have gained so much understanding about not only my own mental health but that of others too. Things do get better but it takes hard work and dedication to become healthy and maintain it. I’m so glad I chose that path for myself.
Just found you today. Thank you! I watched several of your videos and have subscribed. You ARE helping people 😊
Awesome! Thank you!
@@DrScottEilers You are so welcome 🙏!
This is life changing stuff and it's completely free. You are an amazing human being ❤
I might have to come back to this one multiple times
Please do!
Doctor you are saving Lives. You are NO CHEESE. YOU ARE GREAT AT WHAT YOU DOING. THANKS YOU.
This was brilliant. PS. It is not cheese, it is helpful. I am 55, my life has been a struggle and your insight are extremely valuable. Thank you and God bless you 🙏
Excellent video! Right on point..
The last few years have allowed me to do alot of self reflection as a result of loss and a health scare. The grieving process after the loss of my beloved mom really forced me to look at my own life and who I want to be moving forward. It took alot of work, alot of meditation, journaling, exercise, getting outdoors...it always came back to me & how I processed stuff. It was and never is about what's out there in the universe. Kindness to oneself and having patience when you notice small improvements in your well being. Trying to live in the Now moment each day.
I can honestly say the good Lord has definitely given you a gift. I thank you sincerely you've been a huge benefit to my mental health. True joy comes when rest in the Lord! I have come to be happy by deliberately waking up an claiming Joy over my life! Hope this comment can shed some light to all. Wake up look in the mirror an say to yourself im gonna be Happy today knowing the good Lord has woke me up an is guiding my steps today! Ty Father! God is great!
I think learning to truly love and accept ourselves as we are helps to balance the pressure to achieve 'success' in life. Modern society today is very complex. If you grew up in a stable, loving family, you are very fortunate.
Ah this is so true. But as you pursue inner wellness you gain a lot of clarity about the external situations, and then sometimes change becomes neccessary to continue pursuing inner wellness. Like unhealthy relationships need to go if you want to continue towards inner wellness. You can’t heal in the same environment that made you sick.
I think you’re right and it’s terrifying because it feels awful to be me. I used to love being me even when I was alone. I was never bored. I had a rich in her life and now I’m just tormented and trying to cope and keep myself alive one moment to the next not even knowing why just doing it out of respect for life and because I don’t want all of those who tried to kill me and who abused me to win.
Thank youuuu for doing this kind of video. Please continue helping us and i hope your channel gets bigger or helps more people like me
I typically never comment on videos, but wanted to share that your channel has provided a perspective that I have truly found helpful. Thank you for making this.
Dr Scott again you answered my questions.
I have been paying Mental Health People for treatment for some 50 years.
In the last few days i have learned more about my problems and myself and Finally how to start to fix myself.
You are a Miracle to me.
Last month i O D.
I did live but i was planning to do something more final.
Like a gun.
This is when on CZcams i came across your video on Suicide Ideation.
Now i have progressed to a morning routine and most of all getting outside and moving.
You truly are a gift from GOD.
There is a place for you already in Heaven GOD forbid when the time comes..
Yes!!! Mental health is physical health! Its so frustrating when my family cant see that. My dad says 'if i had to spend that much $ a month on therapy id be cured!' UGGH! Screw him! I want to sue my family for pain and suffering!
I just found your videos. You are doing a wonderful thing and from the other comments here, clearly I am not the only one that finds your videos super helpful. I was married to a manic depressive man and I have suffered depression ever since. Still on meds but every day is a new fight and a day to get through. It’s so exhausting. I started therapy again most recently and I am sure that will help too. But I am so pleased to have found your podcast because I am already gaining so much from listening to your take on difficult situations and I am even excited to try some of the strategies and tasks to manage my thoughts. So, THANK YOU for sacrificing your already limited free time to do these videos. God bless you!!
I have learned a lot, Dr. Scott. I'm 74 and worried about everyone in my family including Pap and I! Really stressful days throughout 2021-2023.
The thing about observing how happy you are in relation to the one thing that seems like it's going to determine your happiness, I think that's a really important observation. Lately I've been observing that even though I spend my work week waiting for the weekend, most of my weekend moments don't feel any better than the moments when I'm at work. That may be temporary based on circumstances, though. Anyway, this is a really insightful video.
Bravo. 👋 especially how you couldn't find the help you needed, so you created it. 👏 Bravo❤
YES!! My thought exactly! I've tried a good number of therapists over the years, but *none* have helped me like Dr. Scott has!
the "changing what it feels like to be you" lines at the end align perfectly with the neville goddard message of changing your state and living in the feeling of the wish fulfilled.
just a heads up for any who may want to come at this from a mystical, biblical perspective.
William Blake: " And all you behold, though it appears without, It is within, in your imagination, Of which this world of mortality is but a shadow."
There are glimmers of happiness and to recognise them is key. For example i walk to deal with my 'downs'. Sometimes i cry the whole way. But when i am able to pat & talk to a dog along the way, this makes me very happy but of course it fades.
I am very very grateful but happiness is another matter🤔
The problem is my happiness DID depend on "A" . Looking back over my life I can track it like you said. Looking at young photos I can see when "A" was present/the circumstance, the years that "A" was present/the circumstance also shows itself on my space and then Facebook. Now I live alone struggling to not become homeless as I battle cancer with no family. I didn't search out this video, It auto played after a Christmas video. This video confirms that happiness is unachievable now.
So I came across your videos a few weeks ago when I was in a very deep hole. I definitely had (passive) suicidal ideations and was looking for some helpful videos or people with similar experiences.
Don’t worry - I’m better at the moment and I‘ve arranged to go to a day clinic soon.
Just wanted to say that it’s extremely helpful of you to share your own experiences but through the filter of a professional, de-demonizing suicidality and giving a positive perspective that it can be overcome.
It often feels like it’s forbidden to talk about those things openly because it will make people see you as a freak and call 911 right away!
As you said in another video - mental illness is not always cute or quirky.
Sometimes it overshadows your whole life.
Anyway - I find your videos very relatable and helpful.
Sometimes I think more therapists should have gone through the „practical experience“ of having been mentally Ill themselves- although in reality I don’t wish that upon anyone of course!
Keep it up!👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼
You need to do a TED Talk!! Incredible life wisdom that you articulate SO well. I've never heard of PSI until listening to you--I've had it all of my life. Thank you for removing the shame
I just found you around two days ago, and I am so grateful. You are a blessing to this community. You’re down to earth personality is very comforting, along with your knowledge and expertise. Thank you!
A great message, expressed in a really accessible way. You've given me something to think about today. Thank you so much.
So glad!
Scott, thank you SO much for giving your time and self to these videos. I hold onto them with everything I’ve got. I’m on the precipice of massive changes in my life after ten years of struggle. You help greatly in reshaping my thoughts on expectations and pressures I place on myself. I am so grateful for the expertise you offer so willingly, and genuinely, and honestly. Thank you and may God continue to bless your business, family, and your life. 🙏
Don't chase happiness, find joy,within yourself as much as you can. innerpeace and gratefulness for small daily things, start with that, prayers help with this, to align to our higher self ..Happiness is based on what happens outside of us, situations, circumstances, people etc these situations always end one day. If our moods are based on outside uncontrollable things or people, we become unbalanced.
But this is what society learns us, to find a partner, carreer friends etc to make us happy. This won't last, and than unhappiness kicks in.. but we also live in a world thats sick.
We will never be able to be happy in this world that leads always to death and decay, always. Nothing we built hear last, Everything and everyone will die.. that leads to pain.
It is no measure of health, to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society
~ J. Krishnamurti ~
a very sincere approach.i was in a relationship with a person who said I was always sad but I was only trying to be authentic and navigate my emotions by sharing it with him. he was a big advocate of happiness but whenever he faced difficult situations he withdrew and put on an unaffected exterior. Somewhere you validated my stance that one needs to continually inhabit and perhaps understand one's vulnerabilities in order to find true connections. only then do you grow into each other and also transcend your patterns of sorrow and depression.I wish more people understood that and gave themselves a chance.