WOMEN need GAME too: understanding how women get commitment
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- čas přidán 19. 10. 2023
- This episode is for the ladies. It's important for women to understand that game is not just for men. Women need it to -- albeit for different reasons. Since women are the gatekeepers of sex, men need game in order to access the sexual opportunity. On the other hand, since men are the gatekeepers of commitment, women need game in order to secure a committed relationship. And most women have terrible game in this regard. Don't conflate your ability to secure sex from a man with your ability to get a commitment out of him.
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Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world.
#psychology #dating #relationship
This episode is for the ladies. It's important for women to understand that game is not just for men. Women need it to -- albeit for different reasons. Since women are the gatekeepers of sex, men need game in order to access the sexual opportunity. On the other hand, since men are the gatekeepers of commitment, women need game in order to secure a committed relationship. And most women have terrible game in this regard. Don't conflate your ability to secure sex from a man with your ability to get a commitment out of him.
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Website: oriontarabanpsyd.com
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Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: stellargre.tapfiliate.com.
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Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world.
#psychology #dating #relationship
So glad you are bringing this up, it’s not talked about enough.
Agree ^. You know at one time this simple knowledge was taught by elder women in the family and community. Way off track.
It's even woese. They conflate men giving sex so easily with self worth and confidence!!!😂
@@adeltalebpour4955it's so important to teach women game and empathy and male psychology that it should be taught at schools actually!!!
All men are not trying to get sex. It's true that that's what you can expect if you're a woman who's not saving herself for marriage, because you won't attract these kinds of men, and it's true we're a minority but not an insignificant one. Christian men are the ones trying to secure relationship prior to sex, so the dynamic is very different, but most of what Orion says about game still applies, it just won't be as obvious
Game for women = a pleasant personality.
Yeah I agree with you
Super sayain game for women=pleasant personality +reciprocity
The problem is when she's good at faking that.
Impossible challenge
That's too hard for them. It's easier to be a sociopath.
I like how modern life has actually devolved to the point that you now have to spend hundreds of hours orienting yourself to the strategy du jour in order to meet the current standard of "I like you, wanna hang out??"
Never ever admit you like her, game 101
Hundreds? Try thousands
If it weren't for feminism we would be living like the Jetsons what a huge anchor on humanity
It’s wild, right?
You still assume that talking to women is a skill that can be mastered? I was pretty sure mankind is going extinct over female dating standards in the smartphone era.
I don’t think my main goal is to get laid out the gate. I desire a wholesome relationship
You are more Christianized (regardless of faith) than the average American. Ought to look deeper into the historical realities
Same, tbh. But that's because I don't see all that much value in sex.
I find sex in all prospects but then commitment requires more.
@@TuscanBrick oh no my dude. I think you fail to understand that, with the knowledge that married couples have more and better sex, seeking to secure marriage is not a low t pursuit at all
Wanted sex before and at the start of my marriage. 7 years and 2 children in I don't really care any more. She never really liked it and was unwilling to communicate her wants and desires. I stopped experimenting after realizing that I was just inconveniencing her. It was not tell I laterally did not give a fuck that she got insecure and started trying on her end. The kids are wonderful but when it comes to sex Rose Palmer is much cheaper and much less effort. Cost wise being a baby daddy is probably cheaper if morally screwed up.
This further cements my decision to give up on relationships because of all the games, strategies, powerplays and finessing. I actually thought for my whole life two mature, reasonable people could forge a romantic relationship based on honesty, respect and a shared goal. WOW how I was so wrong. It's all BS that can go away at any time.
Us autists view your entirely neurotypical society like that. It's mind games, competing in your imaginary hierarchies, and masking your true character to oblivion... .
Yep. Big letdown.
Agreed
I have felt that so much. Let me give you some perspective. Every time people talk about "game" I go away with the same sense of "these assholes just want to manipulate others". There's another way of looking at this: The manipulative aspect of this is not real, it is a perceptive illusion generated by the way the subject is being approached.
In reality, the subject is far more acceptable: Game is a code word for getting a person out of their shell in terms of beliefs, assumptions, expectations, etc; and start to calibrate with the things that are actually valuable for people you want to engage with.
Usually, game will reveal what is obsolete or incorrect in your mental framework, let's say, about what women really want. There is some heartbreak related to that process too, for example, the disillusion of realizing how transactional these things really are and how little they have to do with love and unconditional loyalty.
When you internalize these things are transactional, you will see the value of game as you are showing a healthy interest in the things women want so that you can satisfy them properly and get what you want.
i think "game" is a horrible term to describe it. It makes me cringe. The issue here is that many women are in the same place you are, on the female parallel universe lol. This is why they also have to go through this awakening process and calibrate with men's desires.
I hope this helps.
@@nikeisagreekgoddess4135 if anything game is a perfect term. It's all narcissism, primal fears, consumerist mindset, and sociopathic shenanigans. Game is perfect description for modern intersexual interactions. So you better start building that insta profile and have lots of photos around women while holding a wide smile.... .
I don’t seek sex in the first date. It didn’t feel natural to me. I actually seek a relationship but I guess that’s just me. 🤷♂️
😊 please make more babies. Your kind needs to procreate heavy.
Scarcity mentality
Yeah, after being in a serious relationship casual sex became a bit flavorless for me. Not chasing it freed me up to make huge improvements in my personal and financial life. A man needs to be selective about the quality of people he allows into his personal sphere.
If I actually like a woman I don't want to cheapen it but I've learned that if they're down for first date action then you would be wise to go with it. I've had women lose interest because they clearly wanted a casual thing and thought I wanted to exclusively date them off the bat/potentially be clingy etc because I didn't make moves on them on the first date.
OP: Yeah this vid is very one sided.
"Feel free to get in touch with me if that's you...." 😁😁😁
😂😂😂
I.mean if there are nymphos out there with male libido and standards for sex, im up to getting that number too😂
Bro!!! 😂😂😂😂
Dr. Rizzaban
😂😂😂😂
I'm a woman. If a man told me that at the end of the first day there will be a commitment, I would run away.
True, because it's suspicious. If a woman is overly eager to have sex on the first date I also run away. Too risky.
Sammme though, that’s scary
Yea, I have been manipulated by this. That’s what I get for being naive.
@@longpapi If she does not give sex on the first date - she is just not into you... And there will not be a second date.. ;) If the date has not become physical after 30 minutes - you should stand up and walk away..
@@andersnielsen6044 This may work for you but I strongly disagree. I usually need time myself to get physical which is why I only initiate on the first date in very rare occasions. I prefer having a good talk in the beginning and it is insane how good of an impression you can make by sharing deep and interesting perspectives/stories and by listening actively what the girl has to say.
If she can speak for hours and feels like you are genuinely interested and make her feel understood, you won her (for now). It's very rare that I don't get a second date.
It's still amazing to me how much human communication takes place at the subtext level.
Just find someone who wants the same thing you want. No games necessary.
Blessings
Impossible. There is already a game going on, whether you like it or not.. Even if people think "they're not playing games" they always are.
I agree. Games are played out. Be 100 and expect the same.
Game is not manipulation, it´s just a name we give to the interaction between two people that are sexually atracted to each other.
Only women have the previliges to say stupid stuff like this .
@@Juan_Olmos No, Game is by definition manipulation: in its purest form it is a false experience that you project to entertain someone into wanting to keep playing with you. You are not being your true self, you are just dancing in front of someone to make them laugh. That's why it doesn't work on everyone.
The “please feel free to get in touch with me” made me laugh.
Women don't even need game. They just need to categorically reject feminist/modern women/boss girl. That alone is a tremendous advantage comparative to other women.
So the best thing is to avoid men altogether then?
I tell my wife that being traditional, and rejecting feminism actually makes you special. Most women are Womanist/Feminist by default nowadays in this country. Trad-wives were the default before the 70's, so attempting to be one nowadays makes you special/rare. I thought this was a positive spin on this fact👫
so you don't want your own daughter one day to be independent and self sufficient instead to relying on a man?
Good question. He might just imagine his daughter homeless after being traded for a younger model.
Women who believe they should be independent cannot keep a man. This world is built for interdependence. You'll learn one day.
When you think about it, all game is is doing things and behaving in ways that the other person finds appealing.
Amazing that nowdays you have to tell women that they shold probably care about what men want if they want to date them.
That's literally what you have to teach women, yes. If they ever muster enough self accountability and care for men's needs of course. Till then its just "men did it all!!!!"
But most men aren’t relationship worthy. Most women waste a lot of time and money in bad relationships. Only children matter for women. It is better to invest in herself, save up for children and have one or two children in early 30s or late 30s. That is a better strategy than wasting time with one man. Professional success is much more rewarding.
@@keylanoslokj1806 but most men are flaky in all their endeavours. So many men aren’t working anymore it seems because they prefer to be unemployed over working a low status job, they don’t want to pay child support to support their children, they don’t show up as the father and do any real parenting, they run away from responsibilities. Even most of the vio*lent crimes are committed by men, most of the addictions are indulged by men. So yes, women are right that “men did it all”. Facts don’t care about your feelings.
The problem is men are way more demanding these days. I blame women though, it’s their fault for allowing easy access.
Chemistry = how much your goals & expectations of each other already align + game is for where allignment & expectactions aren't already in sync.
The more alignment you have from the start, the less you need good game.
I've never used a dating app....it has always seemed such an inorganic and contrived way to "shop" for companionship.
You aren't missing anything. It's a wasteland.
Kind of demeaning to reduce people to commodities like grocery store products.
@@a.d.b535 No one is forcing them to join a dating app.
Pretty much sums it up but I would add the positive aspect of being connected people from further distances
Dating apps don’t work for most men. Even though i had success on them i don’t care to use it no more.
I believe that everything you're saying is generally true. I can also say that no video has made me less interested in dating than this one. Modern dating feels incredibly manipulative, sleazy, and fake on both sides, and I think I'd rather just die alone.
Haha. Don't give up. Just try showing genuine interest in someone, that's good enough. No need for any manipulation
Lol 😂 nice !
The consequence of too much options.
just remember humans are just animals basically. it explains everything. we forget were just animals
FOREAL!! What a sad world we are in. Hopefully other parts of the world isn't in the mind set.
The good doctor is about to become a billionaire if he teaches the ladies how to get the elusive commitment they crave from the man of their dreams. THAT'S GAME! 👀
Problem is there are very few dream men to choose from.
@22ValentineRosario All you need is one. Why waste time thinking about the whole group. Every woman probably has their own version of a dream man. After a few years and mishaps, that version most likely changes.
@@mann8098 The problem being is after most women get what they want they just end up complaining about it anyway.
@undauntedthud6872 Some women aren't wife or relationship material. Most actually.
But most men aren’t relationship worthy. Most women waste a lot of time and money in bad relationships. Only children matter for women. It is better to invest in herself, save up for children and have one or two children in early 30s or late 30s. That is a better strategy than wasting time with one man. Professional success is much more rewarding.
Guys wanting a committed relationship are decisively not a minority... Most guys want a long term relationship. Just because they don't look like Brad Pitt doesn't mean they don't exist.
Excellent monologue as usual. The experience for men on either side of the Pareto curve is incredibly different. Having firmly experienced both sides, I can honestly say that men willing to give commitment for cheap is the same as women giving away their bodies for cheap and BOTH should be a red flag for their respective genders
In my opinion this is advice for grown boys. If you can't honestly say that in the long run you'd like a committed loving relationship, you're going to end up with "let's just go with the flow" forever. Grown men, also know what they want. Grown boys get scared.
Great video! I'd like to add that it's all about chemistry, when a man and a woman got that undeniable chemistry then they both won't need to play any games, they won't have a problem becoming vulnerable from the get go, it's just it takes a lot of dates and meeting different people until you find that person that you truly connect with. When you (man or woman) go on a date and have the need for game then the chemistry wasn't there to begin with, and you're trying to raise their interest and attraction by "manufacturing" a spark. It took me almost 2 years of playing the field and a lot of dates with different women until I met my current GF, the chemistry was there, she didn't have the need to make me wait, and I didn't have the need to withhold commitment for too long either.
Chemistry = how much your goals & expectations of each other already align + game is for where allignment & expectactions aren't already in sync.
The more alignment you have from the start, the less you need good game.
No bruh. You’re still in a fantasy. As a woman who have traveled all over the world, you will literally have good chemistry a few times a year if you’re in the right place, with enough people who share your interest. Chemistry means almost nothing.
This is not true.
Fave comment. This puts it in perspective
@@nicolem5626 nicely said
Honestly, I believe it comes down to one’s intentions regarding what kind of relationship they’re looking for and having the necessary amount of game to acquire it. Because someone can want a long-term relationship that’ll lead to marriage, but carries themselves in a way that’s contradictory while sending mixed signals along the way.
That's soo true. I usually date girls around 25, but I made an exception for a 35 woman I met at work. Straight after first smash (1st date) she said she is looking for something serious, commited, kids... my first thought was - damn, it was just a one night of fun... why do I have to pay the highest price for it now? No game at all... man want to be seduced and "convinced" that is also good for him.
To be fair; You do have to figure in Buyer's Remorse: She may have felt that she could get you to commit but that, if you were too set against commitment, it would be to onerous for her to keep up that level of game long term so she was trying to see what amount of resistance you would put up.
@@SmileyEmoji42 Also at 35 she has virtually zero time left if she wants a man to marry and settle down with.
@@SmileyEmoji42to be fair your idea to be fair is stupid. She had no game, she made ultimatum, her goods are depreciating and she’s a high risk birth being past 29 years old.
She likely been fertile since 15 or so, legal since 18, but at the end of the night (her baby making cycle) she wants to slum it, and lock down a straggler at the club, last call for alcohol and however is left is sad and horny… type of affair.
She’s learned nothing in years of “smash the stranger” and “to be fair” that’s ridiculous of her to be this ignorant of all her prior partners and this new one too.
That demonstrates her lack of putting herself into the shoes of the ones “she supposedly loves”.
Likely chicks like this spend more time buying shoes 👠 and fussing over make up, while they pretend to be masters of men, yet they can’t even get a man’s psychology after we directly inform them.
Women are not stupid. They do great at work. They listen at work, follow advice, orders, and suggestions exceptionally well most of the time, often better then men, obedience wise over all.
Yet they can’t bother to learn about Mens desires regarding commitment?
It’s either solipsism to the millionth degree or she actively hates men, talks smack about us, and feels it’s beneath her to serve her lover and thereby become wise in ways of love over time.
It’s really all there is to it BECAUSE she’s a human being and human beings are clever as f.
If she’s not learning it’s because she’s a pompous as*hole and is too busy thinking men are dumb and she has nothing to learn, she just needs to “find the right i
one”… when she’s had many the right ones the whole time.
Listen bro. Go live in the 3rd world for a couple years ask ask the people basic questions.
You’ll learn exceptionally wide answers to things is first worlds are perplexed by.
Her heart n mind is too hard, and she can’t understand no things. C.U.N.T.
And letting dude smash? Then demanding commitment is pure bait and switch but at least she’s trying now.
Very poor performance on her part. Ide feel very uncomfortable with a chick like that. Desperate.
And what she’s desperate for now… will she honor later? When / if she gets commitment ?
What’s her offer? Just her? Attitude? Be good or else?
That’s not sexy. That’s not nurturing. That’s not intriguing.
It’s profoundly normal and boring and makes me think 🤔 her sex will dry up with commitment since it’s bait.
But I say all this “to keep it real” rather then “to be fair”.
She gives it right away, dont do that. Also follow sadia khan.
The usually the older they are they're more straightforward because they used their good years
The day this mans miss is the day we should be worried.
Another spot on understanding and communication of reality.
I'll grant you that only a small minority of men go into a date thinking, "I hope she takes things slowly", I think you're wrong about the other part. I don't think I know any man in my circle of acquaintances who *doesn't*, on some level, want a woman he meets on a date to turn out to be "the one" (I can't remember your exact words). It's more like "The One" is the first prize, but "Not The One but a good Miss Right Now" is a very close second prize.
This is probably the best video on dating dynamics i have ever seen. Well done Orion 👏 👏 👏
I love your perspective and especially love the episodes for the ladies! Can't wait for more.
The most recent research coming out suggests that men and women want/enjoy sex equally. The main difference is that men get aroused more easily. This narrative that men just want sex and women just want relationships is stunningly outdated.
I agree that the narrative that men just want sex and women just want relationships is outdated. It is certainly true that women want/enjoy sex as well. But as you've said, the fact that men on average tend to get aroused much more easily, shows there's a clear disparity. There's also the fact that men masturbate far more frequently than women do in all the articles that cite studies I've read. To top it off, there is little to no media (that I can find, anyway) of women talking about what makes them aroused vs men.
Seriously..
Correct! Men are not only more easily aroused but, due to anatomical differences, they achieve orgasms more quickly/easily as well. The newest 'Sex Revolution' is hoping to pick up where the previous ones left off, in an effort to decrease or close the orgasm/pleasure gap.
Play the video again and listen carefully once more.
Awesome! I’m an old dude and I can tell you that you are spot on. However, it seems that many young women today has been mislead to believe that they are entitled to everything they want.
Best video to date! Good to see so much passion in your videos! Hope the ladies are listening 👂
It’s not the right kind of game. To skip to the climax of a relationship, to pass all the buildup. Not a healthy way to go about it. It’s called delayed gratification
Absolutely fantastic. I see a recurring theme of delightful and unexpected symmetry among for men and women in these videos. Brilliant.
This channel is absoluttely the best I have come across in 5 years of constant youtube-learning.
MY OWN WAY "INSIDE"
as a little aside, when I was almost 30, never thinking I would live past 30 when younger, I said to myself, "Well, if I'm gonna live past 30 I guess I better get married."
So I started dating women and telling them on the first date, "I intend to marry. If you are not that woman then tell me and don't waste my time."
About my fifth or sixth woman I got to my wife.
I literally was that exception. It's been 30 years and still think I did pretty well with that technique.
Enjoyed as usual.
Why the "I guess I better get married?" I'm 31 and have a very different mentality.
I appreciate men like you. More men like you, please 😊
@@kimberlyturner820 I appreciate that Kimberly, though I'm nothing special. Just a man with certain Ambitions. Godspeed to you too...
I vehemently disagree with this debaucherous lifestyle of sleeping around casually and ruining women. Women shouldn't use sex as a tool to try secure a relationship, or they'll simply be used as such. Men, I know it's hard to get to a point where you have options, however, it's harder not to take advantage of that when you do. It's the responsible thing to do though. Build a stable family and legacy with one good woman, don't leave a trail of damage in your wake.
10:1 odds you're culturally religious
Boomer take. Women can indulge in their hypergamy and give access to Chad and Tyrone for free but I'm supposed to pay full price? Sod off lmao
@@cosmictreason2242 , make an argument against his statement. At least give us scrollers something interesting to read besides a worn out insult.
@@WCCXtra it wasn't an insult, it actually carried a lot more implied meaning than you realized. For example , that OT and most is the people he's talking to don't relate to his values because they're completely secularized. And therefore that the reason his advice will fall on deaf ears is because the hearers need to be formatively acculturated or converted before it can make sense. And therefore what the manosphere needs is the Gospel. The benefits of Christian virtue are not received when they are not desired, and that's why the heart must change before results will
@@cosmictreason2242 , thanks for your correction and expansion. I agree somewhat with the secularization angle, but you can find examples of people on both sides (secularized or religious) who may or may not hold these values. I'm a non-religious person and just viewing society from a historical and sociological perspective is enough to spot the downward trend.
Rampant individualism (in part driven by consumerism /materialism) has people focusing more on what benefits themselves and less about the consequences their actions have on society as a whole imo. For example, I'm single and don't have children but definitely have options. My lifestyle isn't really ideal for moving society forward so I don't promote it or force others to recognize it as "equal". I'm grateful I'm allowed to pursue what's best for me without persecution and as thanks I don't cause unnecessary disruption.
I think we have corrosive elements that take kindness for weakness and overstep the boundaries of tolerance by demanding the status quo be done away with to assuage their own insecurities. In finally being listened to, certain traumatized people draw power/strength from the attention and since they are so used to being powerless they thirst for more. This seems to happen often with humans no matter what's being promoted/demoted.
Today, I finally fully understand why I loose interest in a girl who tries to force a committed relationship out of me too soon.
So you’d rather she try to sleep with you sooner?
I loose interest when a man try to sleep with me without commitment.
@@aferg76 Same logic with a guy trying to rush sex out of a girl too soon. Implies low value.
The lightbulb went on for me too!
Thanks! Will be watching for future content. The doc speaks the truth.
Spot on. You always have a great way to explain something a lot understand but you bring it to the next level!
If we're defining high value men as in shape, financially secure guys with options... We're probably not committing no matter what they do. We're certainly not marrying. And it's literally their fault.
Somehow they've convinced themselves that they don't have to keep their commitments, and that's okay. It just means that we don't have to make those commitments that we used to both make, and keep.
It's the Man's fault of course!
It's funny because online women frame this as if they have leverage but in reality the man chooses you lol theres more women in the world than men
Facts !
Women pressure men into marriage, & getting married is optional. Men can't pressure women into simply keeping marriage vows which should be compulsory.
as rational male I contemplate on cost vs benefit ratios - which in 98.5%+ of xx.ine cases would eliminate any commitment tendencies, if not all else anyway, too. physical seggs seems utterly overrated in bigger picture - thus xx.s don’t have anything to ‚offer‘ game-wise. ENOUGH already.
To win this game for women, the bar is (other than physical attractiveness): Be the least amount of a pain in the ass. Focus on this, more than guiding a man toward commitment w/o him knowing. Work on yourself, then demonstrate to the man you want that you're the least coercive, confrontational, or demanding woman he's likely to find. You can't say this (or anything like it), you have to demonstrate it through behavior.
Now THIS is game and sound advice for women!
Chemistry = how much your goals & expectations of each other already align + game is for where allignment & expectactions aren't already in sync.
The more alignment you have from the start, the less you need good game.
Thank you! These comments are so helpful. You're all invited to my future wedding 😉
My issue with this is too many women are very casual about sex to the point where they take pride in it....which means they don't seem to always have the goals you want in a woman.
he just made a new video that basically says what you said
Excited for the next videos, Dr. Orion!
Omg thank you been waiting for a video like this. Looking forward to the follow ups to come.
Orion's perspective on things commonly level up my understanding of the dynamics of relationships among human beings. He defines concepts in a very useful manner, and use words appropriately to discuss the consequences of the premises he proposes. I would like to know how could I like these videos more than once.
"that kind of shame game only works on men with no options" MAJOR 🗝️
This is quickly becoming my favorite channel, funny and informative!
The number of times I have told this to as many men and women as would care to listen is very much.
You're on point on this one also Orion.
Stop the cap
@@hugevagiine cap because...???
One detail I would add is things like religion, cultural traditions, Hollywood, etc tips the scales in women's favour. Because of religion, cultural traditions, and Hollywood, even a lot of guys go into dating wanting marriage as this is what they have been socially conditioned to want. Thank God for people like Dr Taraban to help even the playing field.
There has been awful lot of socialization and the nuclear family is the most critical element of society. However between, second wave feminism, Disney princesses, gynocentric culture and the court system, lots of men have decided to just focus on other areas.
I was one of those men, never again.
Religion offers a model where both parties make a sacrifice to create a stable union and thus a family. We need that to have a society. Look at black America and how their social disintegration affects them. That's what's ahead of everyone if the gynocentric social order continues. Single moms and crime.
@@edheldude latest trends show religion, marriage and birth rates are all in decline. I don't think any of these trends will reverse. I think most Western countries in the future will go down a Japanese route, i.e. anime, AI girlfriends/OF, video games, etc. Lets see if my prediction is right in 10 - 20 years time.
@@marriagecausesdivorce7540 They already have. The inflow of immigrants has kept up these countries from demographic collapse.
This was brilliant, as tough as you put it, but so accurate and sharp
This is the part when I happily hit the subscribe button.
I'm glad to be in the know. Wonderful breakdown!
Love all your videos, finally someone who tell it as it is!
This is one of my favorite episodes from you. Thanks for flipping the coin in the other direction, things I've been experiencing in dating related to this are making a lot more sense.
Great so what have u learnt. R u married or in a relationship
It's just not entirely true. Sure it may represent many guys, but this is far from representing alot of guys. Many of us are looking for a relationship not meaningless sex.
Hell yeah! Keep the content for ladies coming! After the 3 part series I'd appreciate an additional 3 videos of excruciating detail on the practical side of ways to follow the advice in each- like 100 ways to be useful, 100 ways to do the other two things (whatever they are). Bridging the gap between theory and practice is what makes a difference in people's lives.
The ways to be useful will vary from woman to woman. Not all men’s needs are the same. That’s why he said to do the research. Learn about the man and his life. Then see where you can make his life easier. If that means being traditional “wifey” material, that’s what you should be willing and happy to do. Look for ways you can free up some time for him. He will then have more time to bond with you. This should be common sense, but somehow it’s not.
If you need every little way you can be useful to be listed out for you, do you even see the man you want as worth the effort? There is no way to have someone else do all the work for you.
Thank you for taking the time to share advice! Of course it varies from person to person what is useful. But sometimes what women perceive as useful is different than what men perceive as useful, so I think a male perspective might be interesting. Of course a list could never be exhaustive, but brainstorming can be helpful to shift our perspective when society brainwashes us to not naturally think this way. @@CheshyLARK
Thank you!!! Your content is awesome and easy to follow. Love your language-it’s so real💛
Keeping it 100. Thanks Doc!
Great video love how you break things down!
Brilliant. So true. Men know this. Good luck ladies and good studying ahaha
Orion you should write a book!
I have to say , at some age some men will want a committed relationship mainly because their biological imperative to have babies and pass on their genes. That’s what my body is telling me right now…
I've watched most of your videos and this one is by far the best and hits the nail right on the head.
Doc, seriously, your content is fantastic and illuminating! Big fan!
Most men seem to be terrified of long term commitment. They have to be eased into it very gently. An important aspect is to give them plenty of sex - as well as "alone" time so they feel satisfied but not overwhelmed. They will start valuing this source regular intimacy and it will become important to them and they'll want to secure it. That's my personal experience anyway.
perfectly explained!
Correction: Most of the men YOU WANT, seem to be terrified of long term commitment. You think you have to play some kind of idiotic "long game" to "ease them into it" and you need to "give them plenty of sex" and it is the antithesis of this video. Maybe if you weren't chasing after actual assholes and just genuine, honest, non-manipulative people, you'd have different personal experiences.
But most men aren’t relationship worthy. Most women waste a lot of time and money in bad relationships. Only children matter for women. It is better to invest in herself, save up for children and have one or two children in early 30s or late 30s. That is a better strategy than wasting time with one man. Professional success is much more rewarding.
@bellatindale3120 This is perfectly explained. As a man I have gotten into relationships with this exact game. Of course like any man I have fears of being commited to the wrong person for my wellbeing. However this fears are easily pushed away with a genuine and kind woman and thoughts often occur like "I could see myself with this woman." Thats where it starts.
We are not "terrified" but cautious of it because a relationship requires a lot of effort and time, especially as the guy because with a gf he'll have to carry more responsabilities now such as, taking care of her if she's out, flat tire/car problems, emotional support and a lot more of other things.
Even relationships for both sexes are not symmetrical when it comes to duties/roles to fulfill
This is why I never got married no matter how much I wanted to. I don't know how to manipulate men. I'm not a manipulator. I don't appreciate being manipulated so don't do it to others. Unfortunately I had zero game. I know a 60 year old woman (who looks every bit of 60) that just married a 46 year old man. This is her first marriage. I can't even begin to imagine what type of "game" she used on him. I could only think he's using her for some reason.
I’m sure she has money if she can’t offer this man a family.
Yea, it’s her pension/retirement money. It’s sad that ppl target that demographic like that.
No manipulation is needed. It's what a women brings to the relationship that a man might value. Are you interested in him sexually, good listener, reliable, trustworthy, supportive, can you cook etc.......?
@@susandavis903I agree with all except..."do you know how to cook?...we all...male and female all need to know how to cook
This is very helpful and educative on another level. Thank you so much for this episode.
One of your best videos... Sharp, straight to the truth, even if it might just have to be swallowed a bit by many women.
And the "good men" just have to recognize that they have to embrace those sides of them :)
🙂
I think you will lead good people down the wrong path with this kind of advice. There are a lot of men who just want a relationship. And a lot of women now who sleep around way more than the average man.
“Game” and manipulation are good for those who want short term relationships. Honesty and not engaging with game players is the only way you’ll be fit for a long term relationship.
P.s. Ask for you want,because you just might get it
It's true though that that is the minority. Christians need to know better than to accept advice from unbelievers wholesale
1:13 women not being good at dating - please make an episode on this, too!
Basically most women in relationships think that just existing is enough. And that it works if she projects her needs on him without searching for what works for men...c.
you talk about serious issues with a lot of respect in a light way, I like that
This is a great video for both men and women. It highlights the differences in the preferences of men and women and acknowledges why they are important for both. Even though I am a man, I would like to see a video on how women can have game. It helps to both recognize and encourage those that actually are willing try if a healthy relationship is to be had.
Great video as always. It would be great if you made a video on attachment styles, and how they relate to dating.
So I met my now husband in a common workplace in Central London. Him, established skilled employee, me, attractive receptionist (just keeping it real). He is also 12 years older. Now, he chatted me up, the 'chemistry' was there immediately, but I flat out did NOT want to date in that office. He asked me out. I said no. I was in a fish bowl, and he had a history of sleeping with other women in the office. Ya still following? lol.
Anyway. We continued being the best of friends - having fun - epic London times. Here's where the game changed. When I turned him down, he pulled back. Like, still friendly, still his lovely self, but no longer flirty, or touchy, or cheeky, nada. I WAS SHOOKTH. Every guy I had ever 'friend zoned' had always continued that 'but I want something more' vibe. My husband on the other hand, played the 'cool no probs' vibe, which eventually culminated in me becoming inappropriately jealous, more than a little argumentative, and haughty. Boom! Hello to me turning up at his doorstep (yes, really), for a sexually explosive culmination 6 months into our will-they-won't-they tango. The rest is history.
Conversely, I asked him many years later, did he actually still want me, or did he not care? His response - 'I took you at your word, but suspected you might change you mind'.
That's why you don't simp a woman after being rejected, you need to send a FOMO signal. If you send the message "i will always wait for you", then the woman doesn't feel the need to hook you in, and to take you before an other woman does it. Waiting is also a low value move that make you seems like a bad catch (a "i can't hope to get better, i don't mind keep waisting my time for her waiting for a miracle" move). If your special quality is a very long expiration date, don't expect anything else to stay than being put inside the freezer for hungry days, when there is nothing else in the fridge. If a woman need to choose between two man, the best is to start with the one that won't wait, and keep the second simp waiting man (most likely lower value) in the case the first relationship end. It's bad economic sens to waist the simp by giving him the first ride while losing the other man, when you can choose the other man while keeping the simp in your backpocket until you need him.
One other issue with post-rejection simping : free labor is only free until you pay for it. Men don't understand relationships privileges don't start and end by sex.
If you give every relationships privilege for cheap or even free (validation, emotionnal support, saving her from trouble), why a women would bother to commit to a relationship (including having sex exclusively with you over an other better man) for obtaining validation and emotionnal support she can always get without having to conced a relationship to you ? Why buying a house, you are already living inside for free ? It's better to buy an other house, and get profit from renting it. Why buy something you can already use for free anyway ? Free sample are exactly that : SAMPLES. If you get something for free once, you get a taste for it and want more.
The good employe is the one you want to pay more, the cheap employe is the one you want to pay less. If you take the role of giving the same advantages you would give to your GF to a woman that reject you, doesn't than mean as long she keep rejecting you, she can have two boyfriends taking care of her needs, while only having to have sex with the most attractive one ?
Simping = being the low value spare wheel, or being used as an almost-boyfriend that treat her like a girfriend, while she keep treating him as a friend.
Simply put, he was the one for you but you were playing hard to get. Luckily you came to your senses and accepted what was in your heart.
😂😂. OMGOSH. This is my 5th episode today. You are so out of control and I love it.
BRAVO!! Masterful presentation, Orion
Lady game....no bodycount
Women will learn that on a wider scale eventually. Low body count, lower age at getting married, lower age at having children - add those together - anything under 50 is beast mode e.g. 3-21-23. Anything near or over a double 30 for body count and age run a mile 😂
@@deejay8ch I disagree.....they will not learn. They will adapt to collapse.
@@toddjohnson271 I mean at an intergenerational level. They will, because current attitudes and behaviours are absolutely unsustainable.
Enlightenment will come. Don't ask me how though. DNA finds a way.
Perhaps at a society level we will first need to run out of cheap, fossil fuel energy. Which will be unfortunate. A bit like an addict only giving up their addiction only once they run out of money. The sooner we get enough women, as well as men, wise to it all, the better.
I like to be mildly optimistic. Helps to keep me motivated. The alternative is too spirit crushing 👍
@@deejay8chWhy would we learn some sexist shit you just made up? Do you always mistake your own opinions for facts?
@@straw1berry11 😂 glad to see you've still got your sense of humour. "Sexist" 🤣 "Mistaking opinions for facts" 🤣😂🤣 Oh @straw1berry11 you're too much! Defeating me with those facts and that logic. I really am feelin the love from the positive vibes that you're radiating. Thank you!!
I am a woman, and I’ve commented on this channel before. What he’s referring to works and it’s very hard to explain to my friends how this is done. Not that I’m some maestro, but it is absolutely correct that you have to let a guy lead you into a committed relationship, but make him think it’s his idea. It’s not about being mean or bitchy or playing games. It really is letting the man pursue and not showing that much interest and making him your boyfriend. Men are absolutely floored, especially after sex when they see a woman not begging for a relationship. Next thing you know the guy is stuck in your butt and you can’t get rid of them because he’s wondering what you’re doing every night. This is not something I do intentionally. This is just kind of how my behavior is. It is extremely rare, and I have so many girlfriends struggling with this issue, but you can’t really explain it to them because I don’t understand it. It’s all about honesty and being upfront and telling the truth so you don’t get hurt. And then, in a woman needs a guy and says I wanna relationship. That’s nothing amazing and shocking and interesting. He’s used to women saying that so game over. She probably won’t get the relationship. If women would just shut up and just enjoy the process of dating and not be so 100% spending every second with a guy and going into every detail of her emotions you would have more men begging women for a commitment. And he is also correct. That sucks has almost 0 value at least the type of man that most women one. It’s just too hard to put into words, but I wish more women can understand it. I’m also very comfortable being single, simply because of the fact that when I’ve dated man, I’ve never had that much of an issue with them, wanting a committed relationship. When you’re single, and every person you’ve dated, never once a commitment you’re going to feel bad because you’re going to take that personally. You also as a woman have to enjoy your life. Again, it’s very hard to explain and that’s why I’ve always felt a little distant from my fellow females. They just have no clue how to do this. And if you are confident as a woman, the stuff just is going to come naturally. You’re gonna have fun with a man and just sort of wait and see what he does, and where he leads the relationship.
I partly agree. See part of my opinion I posted.
I never understand why women want to place a label on everything. It's about the journey. Let's vibe. See the connection/chemistry. Build on it. Take it slow. A woman that either friendzones or gets attached, either way, is a turn off.
R u in a relationship currently
@@KD400_ i’m talking to several nice men
@@yourfavoriteentertainmentif a woman friend zones you, that’s the point….it’s supposed give a hint that she doesn’t want you in that way.
I absolutely love your videos and find watching even the ones geared towards men very helpful and informative from a woman's perspective.
They are very direct with slight humour (at least I find so) and help guide a woman in learning how to have improved interactions and relationships with men by having a better understanding in how men think. Thank you for posting!
This guy is the best I’ve ever heard and seen. He puts it in a way that even the most unenlightened amongst us can totally get. Most men are like lambs to the slaughter until they’re about 40, unless they get very lucky early on in their lives. Most Women are more clued up earlier on, but also have their own blinds spots, as he points out in this video.
Patrice O'Neil RIP has a skit about Women Bullying and Shaming men into relationships but men can't do that to women for sex. Great Content As Always.
Absolutely. Women bully/shame men into marriage... but in 2023, men are powerless to bully/shame women into keeping those marriage vows when women want divorce.
It's easier for women to go all psycho and gasligting on you, than empathically and gently lead you into a relationship with genuine desire from your side
Men have their own ways to bully and manipulate women into bed. They do it all the time by lying and SA women. Purposely pushing boundaries ... using illicit substances to gain access.
First 4 minutes of this video is gold
Whoever does your title slides is doing a great job!
You are absolutely right. I never realized how unaware i was in dating
Doc dropping *_BOMBS_* once again! 🤣👌🏻
I am a guy, and I hated dating just as much as Orion describes women who hate dating. Certainly, I hated it because I sucked at it. But I was very happy and relieved when a short series of dates resulted in a relationship. In other words, I dated just like a woman 😅
That also goes for when s*x happened. I never liked having it too early. On one occasion, a girl came back to my apartment after the second time we met. It was so awkward and uncomfortable for me that I never asked her out again. Which was too bad because I really liked her.
Im curious, If relationship was your goal, why did "early" sex changed your mind about her.
@@paultag45 I know, it was completely illogical on my part. I just felt extremely awkward about the whole situation, and I suppose I didn't want to relive those feelings by seeing the girl again; meanwhile she did absolutely nothing wrong and was a nice girl overall.
@@paultag45 too easy. big red flag for relationships.
@@memesofproduction3 no, I didn't hold it against her at all. That never happened to me before, and I was at the very least curious what would happen. But the actual physical act of trying to have sex with practically a stranger felt intensely awkward to me. 99.9% of guys out there would not feel like that, I'm quite sure. I'm just speaking strictly for myself.
@@markrcca5329so close and yet so far away
Amazing video. Always lightbulb momemts afterwards.
This is your best video to date. Thanks ❤
Orion really fired up today! I like it! 💪
Yes, true. The problem is if men learn how to be proficient at having game, they solve the "issue" in a few hours or a day, but for women to apply their skills at having game, they must spend months or even years to see the results.
That's a good problem for us men.
Women will be able to cope with the issue.
Wow...well stated Orion!
Absolutely amazing episode!
Ok Doc understood. Please give us the game we need to learn. It is sad that moderm society no longer has mothers teaching this and Im learning on CZcams, but thank god there are people like you helping clueless women
Men like women with traditional skills, who are easy-going, little conflict and you have to be a net-positive add to the man and his life, not a net-negative. Modern feminism teaches the opposite of this. If you don't "need" a man, then he won't need you.
I think you're def on to something with regards to how women must game men too. However, this video also seems presumptuous that men will indefinitely play their own game for one night stands until they can find a woman who can game them. This is only true for men who cannot develop emotional attachments to women likely due to childhood trauma and sometimes to nobody if they have a personality disorder. Examples of such are Leonardo Di Caprio and Ted Bundy.
For a woman to open her legs to a guy she likes is a gamble. Its emotionally expensive since these hookups are chipping away at her pair bonding ability each time. Her virginity is really the most expensive thing she can "give for free" if its not hedge by the confines of marriage.
The 60s drug and sex fueled era disrupted what used to be acceptable by tradition and religion. I'd argue its rooted in WW2 but it too much for me to elaborate on that rn. Maybe in the comments.
If we men can at least start speaking well of women who cook, clean and nurture children then I think that will help modern women game men better. Women are less likely to stand up to what's right and will do whatever their emotions will tell them to. This could maybe start to break the sht show cycle that's been plaguing the dating and marriage markets.
I just forwarded this video to all my single girlfriends! You are awesome. I love this guy's message!
True. Well explicitly and directly expressed.
There's a lot of truth in this video, and a lot of good advice for women. That said, there's an assumption in a lot of these discussions around men's wants that I find questionable. Is it true that men only want to smash? When I say men, I mean males who've moved fully into adulthood. I believe many men report that they're interested more in easy sex, but truly desire a stable relationship. They're often avoidant of committed relationships because they lack the interpersonal skills required for one and thus aren't confident their ability to manage a relationship, or they have a negative outlook on the prospect of finding a suitable mate. It's also seen as more masculine to not need the care that a good woman can provide. Deep down, though, I think most men want that care.
Also, a good, complimentary relationship isn't a second job. While the term "partner" is cringe, it's possible for two people to pair up and make life easier for each other. I acknowledge that many women will treat a man like a beast of burden, but not all of them, and it's pretty easy to suss out who's who.
When (older) men realize that women cannot be trusted fundamentally, the possibility of a "stable relationship" goes out the window.
@@chipsteve If anyone’s naive enough to unironically think in such absolutes about half the human population, it’s probably best if they remove themselves from the dating pool and not reproduce.
I want to be seduced into a relationship in the same way a womant wants to be seduced into my bed. Im not giving her the relatioship if she is clueless on how to seduce me
@@chipsteve Men are realizing this at younger ages now. This is leading to a number of knock-on effects, including some that have potentially severe consequences (falling birth rates come to mind)
@@chipsteve a man cant trust a woman to be ok with his promiscuous behaviour without becoming celibate or a whore herself
For me being very comfortable in the presence of the other person, somehow I can act in any way I want and won't be judged, in my experience that is really rare, and it's also mutual. Wonder if anyone else feels the same? On top of being really comfortable with each other, other aspects such as personality, character, intelligence, lifestyle, career also need to be compatible. When these things match, honestly there's not much effort needs to be exerted it's like a match made in heaven. Some things I look for such as being interesting, fun to hang out with, intelligence so we can communicate, have similar experiences allows for a subtle humor, generosity loyalty courage kindness and then easy going laid back vibe.
Another banger Doc keep up the good work 💪
Yes, Women definitely need to use their heads as well. Great video.
Your game to get them interested in your next videos about game is a very high level game , it’s like it was their decision to subscribe..
😄 Yep.
@@tonkabeanpumpkin-fh4fz send me visa
They need a WHOLE LOT of game if the man is high value
That's the trap of this video. To not gain female haters, he doesn't say that top level mr gigachad won't fall no matter your amount of game. So she also needs to reshape her standards and priorities... .
you're the best....awesome analysis
Very good and well said.
The Dr. Is absolutely right on turning men away by women stating they want a "relationship" right up front and expecting one by just existing. Women want a relationship with me because I put in the work on my end. I have a home bought and paid for, my own motorcycles, cars, multiple income streams, dedication to staying fit, pursuit of music and hobbies etc. A woman showing up at 30 saying they had their fun and are ready to settle down, then demanding I commit to them because that's what she wants right now is a negative ghost rider.
She doesn't need skills comparable to mine or anything, she just needs to be fit, feminine, friendly, faithful and fertile. If all i had to do was be in shape and not be an asshole in order to get someone to provide for me the rest of my existence I would be ecstatic! That's literally all they need to do 😂
It's easy to be self centered. I'm referring to the women you describe to be clear.
Why wouldn't life revolve upon their desires. I dont say that sarcastically.
You as well see it from your pov. The women's best outcome is much less relevant to you, as it should.
And it goes the other way. No need to see them as antagonists but instead stay clear-eyed about why anyone wants what they want.
If your main "sales pitch" is your home and other material things, you're only going to attract gold diggers, who are too lazy to work to pay for a mortgage etc. Your unique self should be the reason a woman picks you.
“If all I had to do was be fit and not an asshole and get provided for the rest of my life” bro when u put it like this damn lol you’re so right 😂
There Is a misunderstanding here. The true inique self Is what makes us "seal the deal", make a definitive commitment. But tò be First considered, tò even have a chance, you First Need tò.have some non-unique charateristics. Beauty, charme, pleasantry, fitness for some. Ambition, strenght, hard working, audacity for others. It's sad, but before meeting the inique indivual, you.must appease the broader category.
Uf it sounds perfect but the reality is different. Man like you won't be with a woman like me, because i am not rich. So yes, be fit and famine.. too easy
This enlightened me. Thank you endlessly.
Wow! One of best!! Thank you