The No-Fly List Speedrun w/ Jacob Sharpe
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- čas přidán 1. 06. 2024
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We have a guest today!! This episode we have @jacobsharpeiscool on the pod and check in on sebastian balls, talk about marriage, jada smith, mega churches, and getting on the no-flylist because of shrimp. Fun ep!! listen in!!
0:00 intro
3:53 checking in on sebastian 𝐛𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐬
8:03 whats new with jacob
11:30 how jacob proposed
17:51 jada smith and the slap
24:46 Mega churches are crazy
35:20 its wizzmas
38:07 no fly-list speedrun
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JURTIS WHERES THE EP NUMBER IN THE TITLE IDK WHERE I AN
What scent were you wearing at your Toronto meet and greet please bc it was so good!
Kurtis what do you think in 2023 about your previous transgressions defending your friend in blackface not even mentioning the homophobia
Aren't you the mayor of curtistown
I think Jacob should be permanent co host
Jacob Permanent Sharpie.. heehee
@@skilarevewhy did it take me 3 re-reads to get that 😭😭😭
im on the no fly list because i have too much fly
ur on the hella fly list
bars
No drip
Try not to butcher a phrase challenge!!! /j
im on the no fly list cause i stormed the capitol. we not the same
“He is breakdancing on stage at a mega church because they are removing the autism from his son.”😂😂😂😂😂😂
shakespeare couldn't have spoken a better line
Autism is hereditary, odds are the dad is on the spectrum too. Doesn't excuse calling who your son is a "curse" though. The parents need to accept who the kid is and support him better :(
Why is our kid so fucked up? It's not like it's genes or something...
most of those people are paid from the mega churches to perform there, so hopefully he probably doesnt even have a real kid
@@ishisu_ true that
Well, autism is genetic which means it is often hereditary but not necessarily. Sometimes the genes can just do it on their own. But it is usually hereditary
The fucking "he has no brains" part 😲😲
Are we skipping over that he is eating out of a BARF BAG?!!? The people around him watched him get up, go to the washroom, and return with a barf bag that he eats from WITH HIS HANDS. There is no world where someone wouldn't think he was eating his own puke.
Also, as an ex-housekeeper for the Marriot, we don't clean the sinks THAT well, and if those pillowcases were stained (highly likely), they were thrown out.
Dude fr I was like 18 working as a room attendant for $10/hr, I probably missed wiping the sink a few times
i doubt people would think that. i mean people would be confused but i think after a second of thought they’d realize lol
Kurtis mentioned it just as a joke but genuinely cooking shrimp on an airplane is a terrible idea because some people have crazy severe allergies. My sister-in-law can't even touch anything that was prepared in the same room as any sort of shellfish or she has a hospital worthy allergic reaction and she has nearly died because someone working at a restaurant had shrimp before work and didn't properly clean their hands before bringing her food out. That guy could've literally caused that sort of reaction for someone if he wasn't lucky. Sure the idea of cooking on the road is interesting and kind of cool but DEFINITELY not at the extreme inconvenience of others and ESPECIALLY not when it could cause others harm.
Omg it was already bad enough but allergies! I hadn’t even thought of that!
I’m allergic to shellfish. Being in a confined space with shrimp cooking would definitely cause a serious reaction. Especially since it’s essentially aerosolized or in the air. Like, need my epipen and fresh air immediately
Right like there two food allergies I know that are super serious, shellfish and nuts. Like that’s insane
i agree my partner gets a reaction just from shrimp steam and airplane bathrooms are few and small
natural selection should just take care of people with severe allergies (jk im deadly allergic to peanuts)
if my sister ever spoiled my proposal like that i would lose my absolute mind oh my god that’s unreal and he was so casual about it 😭😭
Right??? I would be SO fucking mad
It’s his fault for having it on speaker though.
@@mayanovak2497he TOLD her it was speaker
@@mayanovak2497 ...he warned her???
@@mayanovak2497 he told his sister he was tho
"I witnessed.... Jehova. That's the only thing you can witness" had me rolling lmao.
So this man took an incredibly deadly and common food allergen into an enclosed space in and airplane and made this food, endangering someone who cannot make it to the ground in time if they go into anaphylactic shock. The hotel is one thing. Those bathrooms get deep-cleaned and sanitized once the previous person leaves. Airplane bathrooms are not cleaned nearly as often. It's egregious, it's dangerous, and I hope he gets banned from all of these types of locations.
these two kill me from laughing everytime it's like a person split in two with how well in sync they are with their sense of humor love it
"make me kill me" i love that omg
@@sophwhossoph omg i didnt even realise i typed that im so embarrassed over having such a brain fart 😭
Cellular mitosis
There is no way that the hotel is sanitizing that ice bucket expecting there to have been RAW MEAT in it.
26:22 as an autistic person it’s so disheartening to see how some think and feel about us still, even despite all of the hard work that autistic activists and clinicians have put into dispelling all the gross stigma around it. I hope this guy’s kid is able to find a place where they’re not made to feel like a brainless freak. Also “removing the autism” made me laugh so hard 😂 love you Kurtis and Jacob, thanks for having common sense and basic human decency ❤
i'm also autistic, and it's nice to see people trying to make it more accepted... but then it just becomes "uwu quirky," which is even more frustrating imo. autism has become the new depression
if these guys want to ""cure"" "the autism" then they would have to kill me bro autism aint a disease its a thing you are born as lmao
@@the-postal-dude fr. the amount of people im seeing who are allistics misusing the word "non verbal" ENTIRELY is insane. ive seen it 4 times this year and its all the same jokes "me gping nonverbal so i can listen to my friends and then say something funny" like... just say going quiet?? everyone does this i dont get the joke. its not even like theyre mistaking it for selective mutism either which i have, we do not control when we go mute, yet people think that you can. and non verbal is a more life long thing.
@@lemonmeatany term that was once connected to autism has now been tiktokified by the completely not autistic people. Everything from overstimulated, non-verbal, hyperfixation, etc.
@@the-postal-dudeI cannot wait for the trend to end. Seriously. When I was a kid it was OCD, then it was depression, then anxiety, (both conditions I do have), and now it's autism. It's the most isolating feeling in the world to tell someone about your condition and have it dismissed because of, essentially, "everybody's a little autistic." They dismiss that notion, but it's exactly what they uphold when they brag about their quirky little stims and going "nonverbal" while surrounded by friends.
I could rant for a while (naturally) but people usually stop reading after a point so I'll leave it at that.
One last point: I've spent my entire life being unheard and misunderstood. Now it's compounded by this ridiculous trend. This obsession by humanity to be unique, or to have something wrong with them. As if being a functional, healthy, neurotypical person is wrong somehow. Kinda like men who pretend to be oppressed while also benefiting from the patriarchy. What's up with that? But that's a philosophical debate I suppose.
I have never wanted to eat food less?!?
1. Fecal particles and bacteria EVERYWHERE
2. Fire hazards 10 times over
3. Leaves a mess and more harmful bacteria behind
4. Just why?? WHY????
my family is jw, and on a serious note theyre very much a cult and its just an insane religion to be in. i cant wait to leave, good thing for jacob’s parents for leaving.
I can’t wait for the day you are able to leave. You deserve to live a life of love and safety. May that day come soon ❤️💗
My family are ex Jws and oh my gods the trauma my siblings have is insane (they left before I was born)
I truly hope you stay safe and get out soon!
i got out during quarantine (excuse not to go online) and it was genuinely one of the best things I have ever done for myself. wishing the best for you
no-fly guy built a bomb looking thing on the fucking plane, thats insane he wasnt arrested lmao
food guys next video “hey gamers i have ecolliii i am very sick, and im being charged with domestic terrorismmm but thats not gonna stop me from making this potato soup in a porta potty!”
The mental image of potato soup in a porta potty’s making me nauseous lmaoooo 💀
@@MonolithicCyanTsunami LMAOO also nise pfp fellow slvt UWU
sabrinas editing on the tiny tv was so smooth i giggled lol
PLS WHICH MIN
@@plasticghost9575anytime they mention her. all ep
(2) PLS
Lmao I remember when I was Christian, I went to Life church. At this point I had mostly lost my faith and my Bible study group prayed for my scoliosis to be healed. They were circled around me with all their hands on my back, eyes closed, heads bowed, praying for immediate healing and alignment in my spine before I walked away from them. After, the leader was like “So? How’s your back?😃” and it was basically summed up to my spine wasn’t aligned because I didn’t have enough faith. They pray and want you to preform for them because it feeds into this delusion of power and when the person doesn’t perform like it’s an exorcism, it’s your own fault for not being healed because you don’t love god enough
Reminds me of this cult church I went to called Harvest. As a small child, the way people acted there was so bewildering to me. They'd be writhing on the floor, moaning, screaming, foaming at the mouth because the church expected the same kind of performance. The leaders at harvest also commanded those attending to confess all their "sins" to them, meanwhile they were hiding sins of their own.
@@TheOceanBearer that reminds me of the game harvester
I went to Lifechurch and had the same experience during a health crisis. Those laying-on-hands circles are the worst.
Trying my hardest to watch the fish behind the tree everytime it cuts to Jacob 😭
bro is a cat
i do the same thing with the little TV everytime they mention sabrina the editor
I was watching the lava lamp warm up🤠
Potatoes and shrimp on the plane is by far the WILDEST thing I’ve seen in a while. Also if I sat next to him and he started filming himself eating mashed potatoes and shrimp WITH HIS HANDS it would be a problem 😂😂😂
if a man started eating out of a BARF BAG DUDE… like what are the people around him gonna think he’s eating
The simultaneous “my wiiiife” needs to go in the intro lol
the hotel cooking thing stresses me out so much - having worked at multiple hotels I can tell you there is very little that would convince me to drink or eat anything directly out of those sinks.
I wouldn't eat out of my own sink tbh. I wash my hands in there and I'm not washing it every time.
sabrina communicating with us through the little tv is my favorite
The entire wizzmas bit had me cackling and kicking my feet.
Kurtis is so naturally funny omg I'm crying with this episode
It’s always something so quick witted and unnecessary but I love him and them so much 😭😭💀
In fairness to Jada, one of the prophets in the Bible summoned two bears to maul a town because some guys called him baldie
GRWAAAAAWORRRR
(Keep my wife’s name out your fucking mouth. In bear)
*some kids (under 13 based on the time period)
@@Jacob-Sophia I mean if anyone deserves bears...
Love hearing two grown ass men on a giggle fit about the "Epic Church in Ohio" while I clean the house
All I can picture is a little gremlin-sized Jacob goblin roaming around the studio and causing mischief lmfao
as a german who was born and raised in germany, i can 100% confirm we call our mothers 'mamga' (im indian and don't know a lick of german)
I like how they coordinated their Rumpelstiltskin shoes ❤
Him cooking with raw meat and shellfish in public places really makes my skin crawl! Some people could die from shellfish allergic reactions, that's why you don't cook in public places like that, generally.
I carried an engagement ring in my pocket for 6 months waiting for the right romantic moment to propose. When that moment naturally occurred, it worked out perfectly.
I work at delta as a mechanic. I’m just glad he didn’t break anything 😂😂
SABRINA EDITING IN TEXT ON THE VHS TV SENT ME LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
You two are my favourite YT couple. Absolutely adore anything you do together
love how you can read this both as “CZcams” and/or “white” and it still works perfectly either way
The fact that guys making food in the hotel sink is making me NAUSEOUS
SO glad I don't work in hotel housekeeping anymore lmao. aside from the nightmare messes and the washcloths used in place of toilet paper, one time someone brought a whole ass full size fridge into their room. our power in half of the building kept going out and nobody could figure out why until we discovered an ENTIRE FRIDGE. also several times had sinks completely clogged bc of trying to make/clean food. i hhhhhhate this
Idk tho if a full size fridge is killing half the buildings power, you have serious underlying electrical issues
@@riftlee I mean, you’re absolutely right, it was a Motel 6 from Hell lmao
Love watching the lava lamp progress throughout the video
if my plane had garlic mashed potatoes in its bathroom sink i'd jump out the door
I love the energy Jacob and Kurtis give! I rewatch the Sebastian Balls videos regularly and they always make me laugh :)))
the way she called autism a mental illness💀
the liquid death can constantly being turned toward that camera 🙃😅
I know y'all won't see this but I just want to say how much I appreciate and look forward to this podcast every week and it's made me laugh for years. My mental health has been in a rough patch these days yet here I am sitting alone in a Dunkin donuts trying to stop myself from publically laughing my ass off watching you guys. Thank you for making me laugh right now
YAAY JACOB AND KURTIS
The amount of times that meat touched the bathroom counter as he was preparing it was crazy
Edit: Okay nevermind he’s just fully making soup in the sink. I do not think he cares if the meat touches the counter LMAO
the second sponsor took me for a fucking ride dude that made me disconnect from my body for a second
yea it’s wild that he’s doing two sponsors an ep now
oh perfect way to start my morning
i thought that said mewing
@@gabbie2013 Mewing to Kurtis Conner speaking for an hour.
@@gabbie2013that too ngl...
you’re definitely allowed through TSA with food in the states at least
They are also much more lax with domestic flights. In Canada we can go through the air port with nothing but weed and a health card.
@@Kat_Creates that’s honestly understandable and probably how it should be lol. all they look for here are bombs basically. they’ll even tell you that they don’t care about your weed despite it being federally illegal. it’s incredibly easy to go to a legal state and get some. they even sell bottles of alcohol in the airport that you can literally take on the plane 💀
As a person who gets super upset and overwhelmed when the kitchen gets increasingly dirty and messy during the cooking, watching this guy cook in the HOTEL BATHROOM almost made my cry
watching this while stuffing my face with donuts
so jealous omg
lmao almost same I'm eating cake right now
can i please have one :)
W engagement & W relationship to Jacob!!
My FAVORITE thing is Kurtis making Jacob laugh
I saw them filming Jingle All the Way when I was a kid. It was the deadass middle of summer and it was wild to see all the decorations and everyone dressed like it was freezing.
there was a church in my town named Epic Church 😭 also when I was a kid I made a friend with another kid named Epic at children's church
KID NAMED EPIC…? 💀
@@AboutAGirIlllll YESSS 😭😭
Was he tho? Like did he live up to it?
@@blakewhite3131 ngl I don't think so lmao, it's hard to remember bc it was so long ago but I don't think he was very epic
@@lacium07 damn, they gotta name another kid named swag or something and hope it works out this time. Flop kid
Happy Engagement to Jacob!!!! W relationship, w engagement!
Sebastian balls is their Roman empire 😂
Congrats Jacob!!!!!🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉
I’d love it if Jacob was a regular guest, I love yall together
The guy making food in the hotel bathroom is making my stomach flip, that’s so nasty I can’t 😭
if i’m traveling within the states i have never had a problem bringing food through security as long as it’s not like really wet? i bring snacks every time
It’s so disgusting how the mega church called autism a “curse”. I’m autistic and it’s not a curse or something bad…it’s simply how some peoples brain works. It doesn’t make us below anyone or stupid. I wish people weren’t so ignorant about autism….im so sad that’s how some people think in almost 2024. I’m glad Kurt and Jacob pointed out the harm in this and accept those on the spectrum unlike the mega church.
Dude would rather make mash n shrimp and eat it out of a puke bag than get help
The TSA said *let him cook*
You guys are actually really funny together. Super glad you were able to get them on the show again.
Kurtis and Jacob need a podcast together❤
It's simultaneously sweet and hilarious that Eilish had to coach Jacob through their engagement.
This episode has cheered me up so much, it's been a super fucking rough week and I'm feeling pretty #blessed my two fave millennials dropped a new pod 🙏
Really needed the pure goofs and gaffs, thanks gentlemen.❤️
That casual big comfy couch reference pulled something out from so deep within my brain
kurtis your shirt looks so sick
Someone I work with goes to a mega church, and I know this because he wears the church’s merch!
I thought that sign in the back said “Hristmas” for like half of the episode.
can say first hand, Kurtis smells remarkably good! When I met him at his meet and greet in Toronto, that was one of the first things I noticed (followed by his perfect glowing skin and kind eyes.) So Kurtis please tell, which scent you were wearing that day- because it was truly divine.
fun fact: Chester Bennington of Lincoln Park fame was actually in Saw 3D
New pod came out just in time for my car lunch ❤
Meteora is literally the best album. What I would give to have been able to see them live.
I very much appreciate the audio description for us folks that are listening at work. Luv u Kurtis
is that the fake plane thing? like a stage you rent? heard something like that a while ago with another viral plane vid
Truly a joy whenever Jacob is on the podcast. Y’all have the best energy together!
New VRG? Never clicked so fast in my life. My Friday has been made.
The only mega church I’ve been to was a mile off the road (and a mile away from the parking lot) and it was the worst church experience I’ve ever been through. There was a whole electric light show and it was basically a rock concert for praising Jesus, don’t go to mega churches
holy shit this pod was so funny! love you both sm
My favorite Christmas present this year is this beautiful and genuinely hilarious video. I love when I get a full belly laugh going😂 you guys have the best mixes of my favorite types of humor, you remind me of every funny man in my life. My boyfriend, my dad, my uncle, my grandpa, my best little cousin, with a mix of your own style that makes it comfortingly new. Anyway sorry for being para-socially weird, happy holidays you funny fyuckers. 36:13
I love you guys each but more when you guys are together 🥺🥺🥺💗💗💗
PLEASE keep Jacob as a co host I love him
Idk why but listening to any episode of this podcast makes me want to play Oblivion
I love oblivion, we are on the same wavelength rn
The mib bit had me laughing so hard holy shit
32:11 AYO THE CLOCK STRETCH FROM THE BIG COMFY COUCH FUCK YEAH JACOB
as a long time viewer of the pod i am so happy to see kurtis getting ad deals
Had no idea Jacob was a former JW! I grew up a Jehovah's Witness and left in my late teens. Wild.
YESSS Now I can start off my workday!!
sabation balls is one of my fav vids of yours 😂
I love the aesthetic of Kurtis' vrg office
The random color grade added at 0:52 threw me off😀
dude there’s seriously a church near me named EPIC CHURCH it’s in sayreville jersey
the jay z hova joke made me laugh so hard
love the Royals Hat! Fan from Kansas City
The craziest thing in this whole video was Jacob’s slippers 😂😂😂
yay congrats to jacob! 🥂
2 sponsors in one vid is crazy
great video as always doe :3