Things To Know Before Your First Relationship - Lunch Break!
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- čas přidán 5. 09. 2024
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Phil / wongfuphil
Jenn / _jdle
Taylor / chanman325
Benson / bensonq
Edited by
Austin Quon
Benson Quach
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Best thing I learned was to not get into a relationship until you loved yourself enough. Those insecurities you have of yourself will spill into the relationship if you don't stay in check with yourself. Can't support someone else if you're not ok with yourself. Lastly love can walk in when you least expect it. Don't spend too much time pursuing love, just enjoy the present and if things were meant to be love will fall in place.
How did you learn to love yourself? I just broke up. Learned that I need to really love myself and be confident rather than hate myself. Any tips would be appreciated
I learned to love myself by putting in the time to work on myself. I had a lot of insecurities about myself because I had a lot of qualities that weren't attractive or didn't make a girl think twice about me if anything more than a friend (nice guy syndrome/friendzone). I was overweight, didn't know how to dress, shy, couldn't hold conversations with strangers. These factors ultimately hurt my confidence. Everyday is a new opportunity to improve yourself. Just know no one is perfect and never will be, however you can always become a better version of yourself. Figure out where you lack and then make plans to change. For me, I'm still working on this myself, but I could never look at myself in the mirror. I was ashamed of how I looked. I started researching how to dress, workout and forced myself to talk to 1 stranger a day for 5 mins. Eventually, that got me into a leadership position in a community service fraternity where I met my current girlfriend and we've been dating ever since. Not to compare myself, but I think she is way more attractive than me appearance wise. However, the qualities that drew us together was my confidence that I acquired from working on myself along with my nice guy tendencies. All in all, the me now is just a newer more improved version of myself, still a nice guy with way more confidence that can dress better and hold long conversations with strangers all the time. Put time into yourself whether it be physical, spiritual, etc.once you start getting the results you want, you'll start to appreciate yourself more especially by finding the courage and motivation to be a better version of yourself. Feel free to ask me more! Hope it helps, sorry it was so wordy
Aaron Chan Wow thank you. I’m looking to get into my second relationship ever and this was really interesting. Thanks for the advice!
@@jtbard Didn't think my comment was gonna mean so much to others. Glad it helps, feel free to ask me anything. Best of luck with everything!
@@aaronchan4830 Thank you so much! I really appreciate this... Really needed this especially at this time of my life. Another question: How were you able to talk to strangers? What did you talk about? And what site did you use for how to dress? (some things I also need to work on.. social interaction as well as dressing up)
I wish I had known there was no need to start a relationship just because other people were. I wish I'd known that, no matter how hard you may try, sometimes you're just not the right person for someone--and it has nothing to do with your personal worth. You're still lovable.
your comment is so sweet
even if you know this, it's still hard. Happily single isn't something people really understand or compute... or you really need to jump through hoops to convince them. If you don't convince them, you get looks of pity, people setting you up, questioning you and all closer friendships with the opposite sex.... It's tiresome.
Needed this, thank you❤
100% agreed, sometimes it's no one's fault and not reflective of either of you, when you just might not be a fit, and that's okay
I'm 20 years old college student and I've never been in a relationship. A huge reason why I'm still single is a lot with Phil's comment on confidence. For the past few years, I've been learning more about myself like my strengths and weaknesses. Making myself into a better person and ultimately learning to love myself. If my significant other appears in my life, I'll be ready to support him.
To all my single ladies out there, don't feel bad if you're not in a relationship. We all go through life at our own pace. It's like Tori Kelly's Dear No One. If he isn't here now, he'll appear someday. You just have to wait!!!
One thing I learned from my girlfriend is understanding just how much something means to your significant other. It may not matter that much to you but just put yourself in their shoes and that really helps you to understand your significant other better. I think a lot of guys probably don't do that but it's really a good thing to keep in mind.
Uhhh
That’s just always great advice
Kitty pryde for life and Kaylee Bryant should play as her
Sometimes, you just aren't compatible. And that's okay. Someone you fit with in one way, may not fit you romantically. It's like finding out that maybe one of your good friends isn't necessarily a good travel companion. You can still be friends, just don't travel together. Similarly, maybe you do get along with someone, but that doesn't mean you need to date.
Def agree with Phil on how the end of your first relationship isn't the end of the world. I remember back in 2014 I was binging Wong Fu videos thinking about the ex I never thought I could let go of, but now that I'm over her I look back at those videos with a heavy sense of nostalgia of who I was back then and I'm proud of the progress I've made and how much I've learned
The thing I wish I DEFINITELY would remind myself before my relationship is... the relationship IS NOT the number one priority in life. That you *should not* identify yourself by the relationship - it's just part of you, maybe a big part. But each person has their individualism, that what makes you interesting to each other. So make sure you keep it and you don't need to do everything together just because you're a couple. Now, that's not to say relationships won't take some self-sacrifice or that it's going to succeed if you don't put the relationship above certain things. But all I'm saying is not to lose _Yourself_ for the relationship, because when you're each the best version of yourselves you'll bring it into the relationship as well.
I remember watching strangers again when I was like 14 and being SUPER worried that all my relationships would follow those stages LOL needless to say, one of them did and while I was going through the breakup I remembered that video and it actually helped me cope with the sadness! So thanks Wong fu and thanks phil :)
I've never been in a relationship like ever *I'm in 11th grade*, but I tend to learn from other friend's relationships. I learned that communication and time management is important. But I learned that my studies are important and if the time comes I like someone or someone likes me I'll consider it and analyze then it goes on from there.
yeeeesss 👏 healthy 👏 mindset
Dude, I'm in Grade 12 and I feel the same, whenever I have friends over they always talk about their relationship and while they say you will find one in high school, I feel like I don't need to have one right away just because everyone else has one. Your point where you learn from your friends is exactly what I tell my friends when I don't have one. I'm saving it for the right person and if the first relationship doesn't go well like Phil said it's not the end of the world. Learning from mistakes can lead to the right person eventually is what I believe.
My real first relationship was when I was 18 you got time.
As a 19 years old in college, you guys have time until you meet the right one. I've also never dated or been in a relationship. School and work is more important.
I wish I had known before my first relationship that people are always changing. I think when we're young we have a group of friends and none of us had really changed yet. The only change I had faced was instead of playing with toys we were hanging out. So in my senior year of high school when I started dating it was very hard to deal with the constant changes of myself and also him. I will say, I was fortunate to find a loving person who was there with me through his changes and mine. He was my first relationship and last. I am now married to him.
Whoa.
my first relationship was when i was 23, somewhat long distance. id say dont jump into a ldr with someone that doesnt even want to talk about their life bcs they think theyre boring and refuses to even try. also dont have tunnel vision and ignore the many red flags bcs you're in "love"
The big thing i learnt about relationships is that just because two people like each other doesn’t mean you are meant to date.
and learning your partners love language is pretty useful and being insecure is a killer in relationship, my ex boyfriend was very insecure in himself which made him really controlling and wanted me no to have any guy friends and he always thought i was cheating.
“ love when you are ready not when you’re lonely “ is a saying i heard it’s so true honestly
My first relationship wasn’t the best, so I learned to look out for red flags. Also that the signs you ignore in the beginning will be the thing that you break up over
How do you guys always have the best advice at the right time 🤔😂
True
Underdog 206 it’s called a script
There is no timeline to relationships. I dated a boy in middle school I liked, and they were like it's been 6 months together, you haven't said "I love you" yet? You guys haven't kissed yet? I didn't feel comfortable or ready to do so. But i was so pressured by my friends, I ended up kissing him one day. But I wish I knew that there really is no timeline to things like the first kiss, first I love you, holding hands, etc. It's all about when you're ready. And the fact that it's OUR relationship, what are other people to say that you guys don't care for each other because you haven't kissed yet or whatever. You aren't dating them. They're just outsiders to the relationship.
You guys should make a video about expectations vs reality on your very first date! And include a scene about a large car centre console!
I'm in the midst of starting my first relationship ever...
Wish me luck!
Good luck
Anna Lee Any updates on how it went?
Update?
how's it going
Me and my boyfriend have like casual date since day one 😂 Because we both are student and we have already talked about everything due to the long distance relationship. We wanna save up money for the future 😂 Even though once in a while, he will surprise me with gifts, flowers or even showing up at where I am (KL, Malaysia) even though he should be in Singapore. We both know in the 5 love languages, we are people that don't really mind without getting gifts but like to have more act of service. However, we like once in a while surprises 😍 Cause you never know when you get it ❤
And due to my parent's divorce, I did researches before I get into my first relationship and my boyfriend had been into a relationship before, so we both are settling things quite well :) Do research before your first relationship! It is important and send it to whomever you think you are going to have a relationship with before starting it! It really helps! :)
I can relate to this because im in LDR with my gf, im from KL and she's from indo haha
I recently learned that it takes a whole bunch of connections to make a full life. It's a lot of pressure to put on just one person to be your "everything". You have to learn how to appreciate all the people who are already in your life, and leave spaces for the others you're going to meet down the line. The worst thing you can do in a relationship is put on blinders.
HAHAHA you can bet your money maker that i bought that calendar the day it came out. My singleness wont be lonely for 12 whole months now! Thanks Wongfu!
soonduboos all year round ❤️
i learned in life that love is something that is never planned it can come at the most unexpected times
R U GUYS EATING ROMAINE LETTUCE
Mariel P this May have been recorded before the shortage 🙃
SAME THOUGHT!!!!!
This is a film channel after all. They're trying to lettuce experience some subtle drama. Are they or aren't they? Is it prerecorded or not? Ooooh! ;p
@@hunter8i8 subtle asian drama
;D
So,,,, I just bought 5! I’ve been following y’all for 10+ years and now I’m in a place financially to support! (Professional school takes foreva....) keep doing what ya doing! My girls are gonna looooove this :P
A relationship is a platform to showcase who you truly are! Inspiring others in the process. Many people underperform as they get affected by the situation and focus on the problems, forgetting themselves.
❝Most people enter into relationships with an eye toward what they can get out of them, rather than what they can put into them. The purpose of a relationship is to decide what part of yourself you'd like to see "show up," not what part of another you can capture and hold. The purpose of a relationship is not to have another who might complete you; but to have another with whom you might share your completeness.❞ - Neale Donald Walsch
I definitely wish I learned to balance my time or spent more time with family because in the long run, they matter more. Also, you can't change someone if they don't want to change for themselves.
you guys should make a video going through relatable asian things on the "subtle asian traits" facebook group
yeaaas
My close friend started that group haha
They did in the video after this 😂
Damn, I just now realized that have been informing my friends about relationship stuff when I have never been in a single relationship
Can we hear more about dating stuff and advice from Benson? He's been in a relationship for like 6 years or something so hes obviously doing something right!
My friends are always telling me that being in a relationship always has its ups and downs. I'm aware of that but still, it would be nice to have that special someone you can cuddle, hold hands with, etc. :( I'm about to finish college and because of that, I've been feeling so desperate lately to look for a date since I'll have more free time (sigh)
Same :(
Before committing to a relationship, consider that you will lose time being with your friend group. Balancing between your friends and significant other is difficult and failure to do so can damage one of your relationships.
Relationships are about more than just feelings!!! I actually had this realization from a Wong Fu video that you can care about someone a lot but not be fit for a relationship. There are a lot of practical aspects of committing yourself to be someone's significant other that I never considered, and I hope young people can learn to take a step back from the fluttery feelings and look at the situation as a whole so they don't make the same mistakes I did :')
That salad bowl is endless
Be honest to yourself about what you want from a relationship. Don't live your life for your s.o. live for yourself and make sure you're not unhappy.
Time to eat “lunch” and join in
i don't comment much, but i just have to say that, i learned that you should know what your looking for in a relationship. I always thought i just needed to be that person for the other person and be what they want, but I also need to consider what I want. Both people need to know what each person want to see if they are compatible or if not. learned it the hard way... But i walked out being a better person.
I've never been in a relationship (i'm 23 years old, soon 24).
Thank you for commenting this. Sometimes I feel like a loser for never being in a legitimate relationship even though I'm in my 20s. But then I remember that it's just society making me feel bad because it's normal (and even expected) to start dating in high school.
And then I also realize that I still have so much time to find someone. And you do too! So thank you for reminding me that :)
@@andrea.dandelion i know what you mean, i get those feelings too.. Thank you for saying those kind words! it means a lot
Thanks for sharing, I just turned 24 and still have not been in a relationship before. All I know is, you can't force things. Sometimes the waiting is hard. But you got to avoid impulses.
Glad I'm not the only one out there in their mid 20s who is also in the same situation!
@@HeartofaWarriorX I agree! Everything happens at its own time. I'm glad to hear too that I'm not the only one.
Same. I'm 24 and I've never been in a relationship . I'm always pressured by friends that it's weird to not be in a relationship so it's great to hear I'm not the only one
I learnt to not make someone my everything when I am only their option.
... I’m going to be 18 in less than a month... I have never been in a relationship. Thank you for the advice!!!
30 years later, I still think about her.
do they actually read all the comments ? so like would they get offended if i said jenn’s my favorite ?
I won't tell them 💕
Jennifer Le AHHH HI I LOVE YOU
offended
The thing Phil said about the first relationship hit me hard like a truth bomb. Thank you.
ARE U GUYS WATCHING ME?? LMAO honestly I’m a senior in high school right and sort of undergoing my first relationship. It’s so weird but a good type of weird. I don’t know how movies make it romantic but the first time you hold hands with a boy is one of the weirdest feelings 😂😂
How do you become confident in yourself and also not be cocky?
I learned that one of the most important things in a relationship is communication
I wish I knew when she asked, “What if I moved to pursue my career?”
She wanted me tell her to stay here with me and everything will be ok. I wish I knew how scared and confused she was, but I thought I was doing the right thing by being supportive. I wish I knew all the problems to come and how hard it would be for us being over 2,000 miles away. I wish she knew that I wasn’t pushing her away by letting her pursue her passion. I wish, I told her to stay.
You know what would be great in the next lunch break video?
Ted in it and them just catching up on each other’s lives and reminiscing about the Old Wong Fu :)
This was a good lunch break topic. Maybe Wong Fu could make a video about guy and girl friendships. I think it would be interesting considering that people almost everywhere in the world thinks that a guy and girl cannot be just friends if they spend quality time together.
"..and 'm still working that off" *Benson proceeds to eat burger*
Hey Wong Fu, I love what you guys are doing. But I have some questions.
1. Some of your old videos (eg. the original ramen cook off) have like extended scenes or director's commentary links in the description but it just goes to the Wong Fu website saying it has been removed or moved. What happened to it?
2. Are you going to make a thanksgiving short? I have a feeling you would.
3. I also have a suggestion, I love Wes's short "a world away" woudn't it be great if you made a series about it? I know it would be difficult but it's just a suggestion (you can always ignore it).
I mean no offense in this comment, you guys are awesome. Wong Fu 4 Lyfe!
Eli C I would love a Thanksgiving short from them!! Good opportunity for a skit/comedy, think... maybe next year?
That dating is not the end-all-be-all, that you're not stuck with them forever. I feel a lot of people stop themselves from dating or getting valuable experience because of this. Sometimes you need to date person A and person B to get to person C. You don't have to see yourselves forever with them or even plan to be together long-term. But at least make some good experience and learn from each other in the moment and in any way possible.
A dose of Benson's Mukbang plus Relationship advice.. Wat more can you ask?? 😜😜😆..#WongFu4ever.. 💕💕💕💕
Thank you for uploading again! You make me laugh and smile every Thursday
He might not be the one so take it easy lol. Put effort into the relationship, but don’t overlook red flags. Go slow. Be aware of who you are and don’t try to become someone totally different to please the other person, unless it’s a better version of you!
Yep, young girls have unrealistic expectations in romantic relationships.
All these relationship stuff don't really matter when you're in your 30s. It's now like, "Whatever. I'll just do my own stuff, and if you like me, then good; if not, then tough." Maybe I feel that way because I'm an Asian-American guy...
BTW, what's up with the soft volume on this video?
9:20 Haha! No one noticed! We noticed!
Love that Benson mentioned relationships affecting animals too. Hahahaha.
Can you pleasee do white elephant or secret Santa again?
Wow this is so convenient
I wish I knew that my feelings are equally as important and valid as my partner's despite what the other person says. You should be considerate of your partner but also you shouldn't lose yourself in the process.
Omg this is like perfect timing bc I’m in the before/beginnings of my first relationship~~~
Yes this is all good... But I would say my experience took me to be more mindful of the world, not just those I'm in relationship with (romantic, platonic, profession, casual, etc.)
Taylor literally says this at 7:33
I wished I knew that my first boyfriend was the good man. But of course I had to date the player, the boy and the confused men to realized that.
Every time they said, “habit” I kept looking at the fries thinking they were gonna make a pun 😂..
Me: I need relationship adv-
Wong Fu: *busts through door*
I wish I had known none of the guys I’ve asked out would say yes, so I wouldn’t have stressed and bothered in the first place 🤦🏽♀️ okay but seriously, I do wish I would have known none of them would work out so i wouldn’t have put so much pressure on myself and been filled with so much anxiety. Worrying does nothing and feeling bad because a guy doesn’t like me is so...bad. I’m constantly learning and growing and someday, one of them will say yes and it will be amazing and to all the boys I loved before I can say thank you, next 😉
Nothing but hearts for you guys!!!
Lucky I've never had a relationship before so I can use all these tips 😉
frodo and the ring omg
Before you get in a relationship, sometimes people don't like if you kiss another person while you're in a relationship with someone else, . But if you do, make sure you're at least ON A BRREEAAKKK
I wish I knew that it 's better to keep certain things a secret and if I were to tell her the truth, I need to tell her everything not a fraction of it and that my never involve my friends in our arguments. My first relationship ended in 2 weeks because of it. I made too many dumb mistakes.
Language barrier is a big deal. Wish I realized how much more effort in communication it required past the every day nicities
Love eating lunch with my OG asians
Phil's last tip... i needed this... #WongFu4Lyfe
Overton x Synclaire are romantic goals XD
Address red flags ASAP and if it’s too good to be true it probably is
"how your relationship affects other people, other animals..."
those poor sea world creatures...
One thing I wish I knew before my first relationship was... nothing because i've been single my entire life and probably will die like this
press f for all of jen's friendzoned guys
I’m also with Jen. But my mom is also like, what? Youre eating with a male friend alone? Is he your boyfriend? But why dont you bring other female friends along? 😂
l o l at everyone who thinks platonic guy-girl friendships aren't possible ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I always wonder if these Poor guys always have a mic floating above their heads while having lunch. @_@
Love u guys
niki = queen
anyone else realise benson is the only one that eats during lunch breaks everyone else just takes nibbles
ITS A TOONSQUAD HAT. pls let this be a sign that Megan Batoon will be on lunch break
Could you guys add some info on what your're eating, I spend a lot time trying to figure out what you are eating -nomnom
Megan Batoon ''toon squad'' hat!
Looks good
i need help. My friend and I both told each other that we liked each other and now when we hang out it gets really awkward. What do i do
LUNCH BREAK!!!!!!!
I really want habit now
Hahah
Anyone else ate while they watched this video or am I just fat 🤧 nice vid wong fuuuu ❤️❤️
What a very coincidental timing
I wasn’t even watching themingthing videos recently or searched any rls vids
Benson is so cute 😥
When they said Mike Bow’s gf do they mean Lindsay from as/is (buzzfeed)??
Watching this for the first time.... That guy on the left tho, he is serious with that burger
What kind of fries are they eating
@Benson what happened to your finger? :(
i'm always shocked whenever i see them actually eat during a lunch break aha
Ashley 😢
The last 1 year must be tough in WF. Everyone's lost weight.
Wong fu for life \/\/