What a fantastic video, shared it with female friends who can’t get professional support. Thank you for all you do for our autism community around the world via these videos. Always interesting questions and answers 🙏🤗
I'm happy this channel was recommended to me. I would like to make a suggestion. The channel should help the algorithms to reach people and to spread this knowledge. To do this you should choose better the video titles and hashtags.
Thanks Dr Tony. You continue to provide my husband and I with reassurance, clinical information and practical advice. There's a real lack of support and information for adults like us who deal with processing difficulties like the ones discussed here and are also raising our kids who are showing all the signs of having ADD and Asperger's. Here in Australia it's hard to find psychologists who understand Aspergers and those that do are beyond our budget. So many people are coming to terms with their own new awareness about themselves and are isolated, scared and struggling to cope. I still feel like the rug has been pulled out from under my feet while my husband feels great relief. Forums like this are a valuable resource to our community.
Thank you both so much. My son is diagnosed with AS and I will be diagnosed next year. Dr.T, I wish, I could write my thesis with your support. Greetings from Germany
Question for Dr. Tony: Concerning your answer to the individual with fatigue issues, what if “stopping” isn’t an option? What should I do when I’m already at that point of extreme fatigue but I need to keep working to make enough money to live?
Cannabis has been a game changer for me for insomnia. I have had trouble sleeping all my life. Pretty sure cannabis does not have "toxicity" (or at least it's low). But it may not be good for everyone.
I'm an empath, psychic medium in a relationship with a man of the Autistic spectrum. These explanations are saving my sanity. I've been wondering how to be empathic and supportive without allowing myself to be drained. In his emotional blindness I became his eyes and now I'm healing adrenal fatigue. We are a public couple that share our relationship journey with others as we are experiencing an spiritual awakening! Thank u. I would love to bring y'all on the show because we speak to ppl with deep trauma ant it seems it's an issue we can't ignore. The black community doesn't really honor this kind of personal development, it's considered weak to need mental health care. This is so sad and causes more trauma that we eventually imprint on our children !
I recommend joining some Facebook groups that are solely for autistic women (they have a much different vibe to more general autism groups on FB). I've learnt so much through them and found my "tribe". Two that I like are Aspergers & Autism Safe Room: A Safe Haven For Women On The Spectrum and Women On The Autism Spectrum | Support Group: No Drama Both of these groups welcome self-diagnosed women as they recognise how hard it is for females to get an assessment with someone who understands the female presentation of autism.
Jennifer Miller I am one of the 5 admin for a lovely Facebook group called ‘aspie girl a closed encounter’. I also have my own fb group I manage alone called The Unique Special Interests of Aspie Girls and Women, has 260 members now all sharing their interests, passions is a very safe group. Both groups add non diagnosed women too and also NT mums whose girls are too young to comment and be active and learn how we think and share experiences as autistic females. I think we are all in this journey together and don’t think anyone should be discriminated against or left out if they feel they may be on the spectrum or want to learn more about their child as more often than not the mum or dad is auttiic too or a grandmother etc.
Fascinating presentation ! Please continue. It brings relief & resolution to many unanswered questions about my family, my past, & my failed relationships. I never saw myself as being handicapped on multiple levels. Wow. What a wake up call ! I wasted years of psychological clinic sessions, and tons of money. It didn’t help at all. What I was trying to figure out, was what’s wrong with me . Well now I know !!
Dr T have you investigated nutritional deficiencies as the cause of stress and anxiety? Food based vitamin supplements of B1 and the B vitamin complex, D3/K2, zinc/Copper have all been very helpful for me along with a healthy keto diet.
Desperate for any advice. We have no diagnosis, not even sure what I think about it anymore. Speech therapist started the ball rolling but she didn’t meet criteria as she had sufficient eye contact. They will do an ADOS in the autumn. L tends to lash out when upset and also hurt herself. This happens less often now but it has been replaced with hitting me and others. I feel I’ve tried everything to nip it in the bud. It’s not just hitting and throwing in anger, it’s for absolutely no reason also. For example, we can be playing together having lots of laughter, when all of a sudden, she grabs the nearest thing and hits me in the head or face with it. These objects can be anything and I honestly don’t know how I’ve not been hurt. I’m forever flinching when she’s playing near my face or head, and its horrible to say that I’m fearful of her at times. When it’s because she is angry, she tells me that she’s going to hurt me. When it’s out of the blue, she’ll ask “what’s the matter mummy?” As if nothing has happened. If I ask if it’s good or bad, she says bad. I’ve tried ignoring it, talking firmly, using alternatives to “no”, tried the thinking step and also just walking away so she cannot play with me at that point. Yet it’s still happening and I feel like I have no idea what’s going on any more. Any advice would be most welcomed. Not sure how I can help her. She regularly tells me I don’t make her happy and I always make her sad. She even tries to say Someone has hurt her, even when that person is no where near her. She’s 3 1/2. Is it her age? I had none of this with my eldest and I’m so so lost. Thank you for reading.
Tony, your videos are very informative, but please look at other causes that can influence traits of ASD! I have high-functioning ASD, but I also have been listening to Dr Gabor Maté, who explains that many developmental problems such as ADHD, depression, later addictions (such as binge-eating, drugs, alcohol, etc.), all of which I have suffered, can have very strong links with childhood stress. He even questions the rise of classic autism in our dysfunctional society. I have never felt that my ASD was genetic. I had parents who always made sure that I was clothed, fed and safe, however, they had both experienced great childhood stress which affected their adult life. I see that my ASD probably developed because of the difficulties that my parents had. I have never wanted Ritalin for my ADHD because I knew that it was something deeper, that medication could not help. I have been doing body-mind work instead, and my depression has lessened and I have found greater peace inside.
I could relate to so many people featured in this episode..... it is the weirdest feeling ever. We have so many experiences in common... still looking for healing....
50:40 I wish we had both sides of the conversation, which lead to the comment about "You would feel that way, because your perception is wrong." I think Dr Tony is making assumptions about the male partner's assumptions. :-) If the 'fight' ended with the female saying, "You don't love me." Then the male's reply would mean, "I love you very much." It is well-known that neurotypicals sometimes misinterpret Aspies. To me, there remains the possibility that the Aspie male's comment might indicate that he is saying 'your perception of me and my behaviour is wrong', which is not a different opinion, it means that her perception is wrong about what he is expressing. I think that it might be useful for both partners to discuss how they show love AS WELL AS how they like to receive love. While the NT lady says she explicitly asks for what she wants, I wonder whether she has asked her partner what he would like from her in order to feel loved. If I am ever fortunate enough to have a relationship, I would want to ask my partner every day, "What can I do today, that would make you smile and feel happy and loved." Then I would do my best to do that and check for feedback. Sometimes, that might mean agreeing to 'give me some time on my own.' Wanting some space, I think, should not be seen as a sign that someone doesn't love you. It may mean the Aspie wants to focus on a line of thought which is intriguing them and they will return with an exciting new idea to share with you. From what I have learnt, sensitivities in people with Asperger's can change for all sorts of reasons and what might be tolerable on one day might not be acceptable on another. If I cared so much for someone, that I wanted a relationship with them, I would want to make sure I was being gentle and kind and understanding with them every day, so that they could feel safe with me and confident enough of my support, that they can shine out into the world.
14:14 The boy who hurts himself may do so by accident, because of hyposensitivity. I am wondering if the boy, is trying to work out where he ends. Some children with ASD have so much physical empathic attunement, so that they struggle to find their own physical boundaries. I was wondering if a weighted blanket might help this child. The weight of the blanket would not hurt, but might give him information about the boundaries of his own body.
What should teachers do if a student with ASD and receptive language impairment has challenges socially interacting with his peers but will not accept any social teaching, incidental or in scheduled lessons? It is distressing his peers.
My daughter is 18 years old. She was diagnosed that she has autism at the age of 13.The autism traits start to bloom out only at 13 years old. Can this be true ? She also started giggling for no reason every now and then, is the giggling part of autism? She used to have audio hallucinations, can autism persons have hallucinations? I am a mother very sad and disappointed with myself for being so ignorant. I thought she was a shy girl when she was little. I would appreciate it if you could these questions I have. Thank you so much in advance.
Thank you for being such a caring mother. Auditory hallucinations might not be what neurotypical people think of hallucinations. Dr Tony talks about a sixth sense in this video. I have a personal belief that autistic sensitivities can sometimes include extreme sensitivity to sound or radio waves. The hallucinations, which you describe may be that she can hear things you can't. You might suggest to her that some of the voices are from radio waves. This means that she can choose to ignore them. People with Asperger's sometimes watch mouths rather than eyes, when people are talking to ensure that input is from someone speaking. I hope this helps you understand your daughter. I am reassured that you say she giggled. This suggests that what she is sensing is not frightening. If what she senses is ever frightening, then she should check her environment for related dangers and move away until she can no longer hear/ sense it any more. I hope this helps both you and her.
I love that you put a timeline of which topics will be discussed and at what time intervals
What a fantastic video, shared it with female friends who can’t get professional support. Thank you for all you do for our autism community around the world via these videos. Always interesting questions and answers 🙏🤗
I'm happy this channel was recommended to me. I would like to make a suggestion. The channel should help the algorithms to reach people and to spread this knowledge. To do this you should choose better the video titles and hashtags.
Thanks Dr Tony. You continue to provide my husband and I with reassurance, clinical information and practical advice. There's a real lack of support and information for adults like us who deal with processing difficulties like the ones discussed here and are also raising our kids who are showing all the signs of having ADD and Asperger's. Here in Australia it's hard to find psychologists who understand Aspergers and those that do are beyond our budget. So many people are coming to terms with their own new awareness about themselves and are isolated, scared and struggling to cope. I still feel like the rug has been pulled out from under my feet while my husband feels great relief. Forums like this are a valuable resource to our community.
Thank you both so much. My son is diagnosed with AS and I will be diagnosed next year. Dr.T, I wish, I could write my thesis with your support. Greetings from Germany
Question for Dr. Tony: Concerning your answer to the individual with fatigue issues, what if “stopping” isn’t an option? What should I do when I’m already at that point of extreme fatigue but I need to keep working to make enough money to live?
Cannabis has been a game changer for me for insomnia. I have had trouble sleeping all my life. Pretty sure cannabis does not have "toxicity" (or at least it's low). But it may not be good for everyone.
Jay J i use cannabis nearly daily and i’ve seen a serious reduction in meltdowns on days i medicate vs days i don’t. it helps with my sleep too.
I'm an empath, psychic medium in a relationship with a man of the Autistic spectrum. These explanations are saving my sanity. I've been wondering how to be empathic and supportive without allowing myself to be drained. In his emotional blindness I became his eyes and now I'm healing adrenal fatigue. We are a public couple that share our relationship journey with others as we are experiencing an spiritual awakening! Thank u. I would love to bring y'all on the show because we speak to ppl with deep trauma ant it seems it's an issue we can't ignore. The black community doesn't really honor this kind of personal development, it's considered weak to need mental health care. This is so sad and causes more trauma that we eventually imprint on our children !
Here in E Africa, that about a sixth sense in empathy is spot on. Thanks for explaining where it comes from.
Everyday I learn something new!
Thanks so much I'm 59 not diagnosed, but pretty confident I am hf
I recommend joining some Facebook groups that are solely for autistic women (they have a much different vibe to more general autism groups on FB). I've learnt so much through them and found my "tribe". Two that I like are Aspergers & Autism Safe Room: A Safe Haven For Women On The Spectrum and Women On The Autism Spectrum | Support Group: No Drama Both of these groups welcome self-diagnosed women as they recognise how hard it is for females to get an assessment with someone who understands the female presentation of autism.
Jennifer Miller I am one of the 5 admin for a lovely Facebook group called ‘aspie girl a closed encounter’. I also have my own fb group I manage alone called The Unique Special Interests of Aspie Girls and Women, has 260 members now all sharing their interests, passions is a very safe group. Both groups add non diagnosed women too and also NT mums whose girls are too young to comment and be active and learn how we think and share experiences as autistic females. I think we are all in this journey together and don’t think anyone should be discriminated against or left out if they feel they may be on the spectrum or want to learn more about their child as more often than not the mum or dad is auttiic too or a grandmother etc.
Fascinating presentation ! Please continue. It brings relief & resolution to many unanswered questions about my family, my past, & my failed relationships. I never saw myself as being handicapped on multiple levels. Wow. What a wake up call ! I wasted years of psychological clinic sessions, and tons of money. It didn’t help at all. What I was trying to figure out, was what’s wrong with me . Well now I know !!
Thank you so much, Dr. Attwood 💚
This is a fantastic resource. Deserves way more views.
Dr T have you investigated nutritional deficiencies as the cause of stress and anxiety? Food based vitamin supplements of B1 and the B vitamin complex, D3/K2, zinc/Copper have all been very helpful for me along with a healthy keto diet.
Yes!!! I'll by dr tony audiobook!
My son uses Gaba capsules with B6 to help/cope with racing thoughts. It works very well. Perhaps this could be a sub for marihuana.
Desperate for any advice. We have no diagnosis, not even sure what I think about it anymore. Speech therapist started the ball rolling but she didn’t meet criteria as she had sufficient eye contact. They will do an ADOS in the autumn. L tends to lash out when upset and also hurt herself. This happens less often now but it has been replaced with hitting me and others.
I feel I’ve tried everything to nip it in the bud. It’s not just hitting and throwing in anger, it’s for absolutely no reason also. For example, we can be playing together having lots of laughter, when all of a sudden, she grabs the nearest thing and hits me in the head or face with it. These objects can be anything and I honestly don’t know how I’ve not been hurt. I’m forever flinching when she’s playing near my face or head, and its horrible to say that I’m fearful of her at times.
When it’s because she is angry, she tells me that she’s going to hurt me.
When it’s out of the blue, she’ll ask “what’s the matter mummy?” As if nothing has happened.
If I ask if it’s good or bad, she says bad.
I’ve tried ignoring it, talking firmly, using alternatives to “no”, tried the thinking step and also just walking away so she cannot play with me at that point. Yet it’s still happening and I feel like I have no idea what’s going on any more.
Any advice would be most welcomed. Not sure how I can help her.
She regularly tells me I don’t make her happy and I always make her sad. She even tries to say Someone has hurt her, even when that person is no where near her. She’s 3 1/2. Is it her age? I had none of this with my eldest and I’m so so lost.
Thank you for reading.
Tony, your videos are very informative, but please look at other causes that can influence traits of ASD! I have high-functioning ASD, but I also have been listening to Dr Gabor Maté, who explains that many developmental problems such as ADHD, depression, later addictions (such as binge-eating, drugs, alcohol, etc.), all of which I have suffered, can have very strong links with childhood stress. He even questions the rise of classic autism in our dysfunctional society. I have never felt that my ASD was genetic.
I had parents who always made sure that I was clothed, fed and safe, however, they had both experienced great childhood stress which affected their adult life. I see that my ASD probably developed because of the difficulties that my parents had. I have never wanted Ritalin for my ADHD because I knew that it was something deeper, that medication could not help. I have been doing body-mind work instead, and my depression has lessened and I have found greater peace inside.
I could relate to so many people featured in this episode..... it is the weirdest feeling ever. We have so many experiences in common... still looking for healing....
So interesting and incredibly helpful - thankyou!
50:40 I wish we had both sides of the conversation, which lead to the comment about "You would feel that way, because your perception is wrong." I think Dr Tony is making assumptions about the male partner's assumptions. :-) If the 'fight' ended with the female saying, "You don't love me." Then the male's reply would mean, "I love you very much." It is well-known that neurotypicals sometimes misinterpret Aspies. To me, there remains the possibility that the Aspie male's comment might indicate that he is saying 'your perception of me and my behaviour is wrong', which is not a different opinion, it means that her perception is wrong about what he is expressing. I think that it might be useful for both partners to discuss how they show love AS WELL AS how they like to receive love. While the NT lady says she explicitly asks for what she wants, I wonder whether she has asked her partner what he would like from her in order to feel loved. If I am ever fortunate enough to have a relationship, I would want to ask my partner every day, "What can I do today, that would make you smile and feel happy and loved." Then I would do my best to do that and check for feedback. Sometimes, that might mean agreeing to 'give me some time on my own.' Wanting some space, I think, should not be seen as a sign that someone doesn't love you. It may mean the Aspie wants to focus on a line of thought which is intriguing them and they will return with an exciting new idea to share with you.
From what I have learnt, sensitivities in people with Asperger's can change for all sorts of reasons and what might be tolerable on one day might not be acceptable on another. If I cared so much for someone, that I wanted a relationship with them, I would want to make sure I was being gentle and kind and understanding with them every day, so that they could feel safe with me and confident enough of my support, that they can shine out into the world.
Thankyou !
14:14 The boy who hurts himself may do so by accident, because of hyposensitivity. I am wondering if the boy, is trying to work out where he ends. Some children with ASD have so much physical empathic attunement, so that they struggle to find their own physical boundaries. I was wondering if a weighted blanket might help this child. The weight of the blanket would not hurt, but might give him information about the boundaries of his own body.
With the constantly eating I feel like an empty frightening feeling like I will float away like a helium balloon and be gone
What should teachers do if a student with ASD and receptive language impairment has challenges socially interacting with his peers but will not accept any social teaching, incidental or in scheduled lessons? It is distressing his peers.
His peers should educate themselves about autism and respect the fact that social situations drain energy for autistic people. Leave the person be!
Regarding the stimuli listen to Matt Kahn
My daughter is 18 years old. She was diagnosed that she has autism at the age of 13.The autism traits start to bloom out only at 13 years old. Can this be true ? She also started giggling for no reason every now and then, is the giggling part of autism? She used to have audio hallucinations, can autism persons have hallucinations? I am a mother very sad and disappointed with myself for being so ignorant. I thought she was a shy girl when she was little. I would appreciate it if you could these questions I have. Thank you so much in advance.
Thank you for being such a caring mother. Auditory hallucinations might not be what neurotypical people think of hallucinations. Dr Tony talks about a sixth sense in this video. I have a personal belief that autistic sensitivities can sometimes include extreme sensitivity to sound or radio waves. The hallucinations, which you describe may be that she can hear things you can't. You might suggest to her that some of the voices are from radio waves. This means that she can choose to ignore them. People with Asperger's sometimes watch mouths rather than eyes, when people are talking to ensure that input is from someone speaking. I hope this helps you understand your daughter. I am reassured that you say she giggled. This suggests that what she is sensing is not frightening. If what she senses is ever frightening, then she should check her environment for related dangers and move away until she can no longer hear/ sense it any more.
I hope this helps both you and her.
Ass-burgers can be vexing. Crikey!