Narcs can self reflect and they do know right from wrong and know their behaviour towards others is bad, hurtful etc but THEY DON’T CARE! They lack empathy
When you see the smirk on their face while hurting you, you KNOW it’s on purpose, they KNOW what they are doing, infact they love it. My ex sister in law would always say “being good doesn’t get you anywhere, you have to be bad to people for them to behave around you”..
Do you remember how you felt as a little child when you did something wrong and you felt that shame and embarrassment? “The world was going to end?” That is what they feel AS AN ADULT with THAT SAME INTENSITY-that helpless SHAME. Except now, these adults use lies and manipulation to AVOID that shame feeling. You can think of a narcissist as a smart child who has learned to adapt to the word with malicious behavior, lies, manipulation, and deceit. ❤
I was born into a narcissistic family and married into one, and only three years ago did I start learning and understanding narcissism. If the narc is angry, they will provoke you to become angry too; If they're in a good mood, you're expected to be in a good mood too (even though they just shouted at screamed at you 15 minutes ago). You are not allowed to be an individual in a narcissistic relationship (be it romantic, platonic or familial). Tread lightly and choose the people around you wisely.
They definitely know. My husband identifies as a psychopath and narcissist- openly. Also, the first time I left him, he had an absolute melt down and kept using the word "abandoned" and then went on a punishment tangent. Which resulted in my taking him back just to stop the abuse. Bc it was so EXTREME. Also also, he has accidentally called me "mom" on several occasions. Richard is so nail on the head with everything always. Idk where I'd be right now with his insight and guidance 🙏 ❤ bless everyone on their healing journey!!
Yes! My mother gets a little glint in her eye immediately before delivering some really hurtful barb. I see it as her connecting her brain phone to the narcissistic hub 😂
Because I have empathy and I'm codependent , I stayed 7 years to long to help my narcissist "victim". I tried to rescue . As Richard said , it was a dreadful mistake on my part . I have divorced , gone no contact for my emotional and physical self preservation . My story is profoundly painful and horrible and my 9 year experience deeply negatively affected me . I came very close to being emotionally dismantled and I became very physically sick , but I finally escaped my abuser , Thank God .🙏, Thank you Mr . Grannon.
Writing to Reflect That You Are Brave and Good. You Deserve To Be Treated With Respect For Your Chosen Boundaries and To Feel Safe and Live With As Much Support and Enthusiasm as Possible - - That is Your Birthright - No Other Person Is More Important and No Other Person Should Be Allowed Access To You If They Detract From Your Positive Presence and Pathway in Life. Love and Light To You - - and Good On You For Finally Getting Away. It May Seem Like You Barely Can Get On From Here With All the Damage - - But With Time, Supportive Therapy, Good Health Habits and NO CONTACT = You Will Walk In The Sun Of Your Peaceful Heart Again XO From Another Survivor.
Last year I had a new neighbour and her daughter moving in next to me. She seemed to be in such a miserable situation, no job, no friends, no family, pretty depressed. A very charming victim of people and circumstances, which made me want to help her with everything for over a year. When I realized that she was just abusing and caring a shit about me and others was when I understood that she is a covert narcissist. Lazy is a word that I hardly ever use, but she and her daughter really are the laziest people I have ever met in my whole life. Before, I didn't know that there are people who choose delegating as a life philosophy, but there really are...
⚠❤Children are going to disappear around the world, then His adult TRUE believers. It is JESUS coming back to pick up His people! Make Him your Saviour! Do not stay for apocalypse!❤ Jesus promised 2 000y ago that He will come back for everybody who accepted His payment ( His death for our sins)❤ He is about to remove His believers from this earth sobthey won’t stay for the Judgement. He loves you like crazy! He doesn't want you to stay for that! God's Grace is about to run out.❤🥹 What saves us is trust in what Jesus did on the cross: He died for our sins and then defeated the death by rising 3 days later! He made it very simple, He has done it all for us so don't add anything to it, just believe and trust Him! 🙌❤ Right before He comes to pick up His believers we will witness Russia attacking Germany. Missiles hitting USA , Fall of Freemason's Temple in Philadelphia, Alaska earthquakes back to back of magnitude 7.6 and 7.3. We will also see return of Yasser Arafat. This is all been revealed by Jesus's prophets right now.❤
Very true , I was an orphan at the age of six months old but I,m not a lost child , narccisists love to play the victim even when they did have loving parents , they behave like toddlers
From my limited experience, narcisists had traumatised mothers, a mother who is unable to love them because of her psychic splitting. It’s demonic, they are consciously or unconsciously working with demons
Best to quit focusing on the narcissist and turn your time toward helping yourself. Work on changing your need to be needed and getting your validation from that as an individual, work on changing your thoughts about and toward yourself, work on changing the "pity" for the narcissist to love for yourself and grow away from them. Grow toward a healthy, developed self. Discern what that even looks like. May peace be part of your process.
Although these videos are so valuable to those who are just beginning to learn what is happening to them, it would be great to see more positive reinforcement for those who are now on the other side…”I survived narcissism…now what?” Or, “How to deflect the ultimate hoover.” Peace is what we long for. Would love to see others’ suggestions.
@@user-cy8cs3jp9f I have kept my conversations in bare minimum word's. Yes ok no not possible can't make it.. repeatedly said no without explaining reason over and over again. I don't owe them explanation. They get triggered and silence gets uncomfortable but it must be done. You reach a certain point where they are forced you accept and stop bothering. I have sweared and threatened flying monkey's, confronted them for trying to be a middle man. They go defensive immediately and after a while stop altogether. It gets really uncomfortable for becoming aggressive but it works. I treasure my peace and sanity over everything.
I was engaged to someone who was diagnosed as Schizophrenic, and I believe he also had NPD. A mutual friend commented that I was becoming more like his mother than a partner. I made sure he had enough food and was eating properly, I bought him groceries, beer and cigarettes. And I felt burned out. We finally broke up when he went off to be with his ex-wife and ghosted me. If you're a kind, compassionate and giving person - they'll latch on to you and they're so hard to leave. But you need to in order to save yourself!
I have done exactly that: imagining my nex wallowing in her suffering, her poor decisions, her shame and guilt, her incompetence, and took pity on her. Half the reason I stayed for ten years through all the abuse is because I pitied her and wanted to "save her."
⚠❤Children are going to disappear around the world, then His adult TRUE believers. It is JESUS coming back to pick up His people! Make Him your Saviour! Do not stay for apocalypse!❤ Jesus promised 2 000y ago that He will come back for everybody who accepted His payment ( His death for our sins)❤ He is about to remove His believers from this earth sobthey won’t stay for the Judgement. He loves you like crazy! He doesn't want you to stay for that! God's Grace is about to run out.❤🥹 What saves us is trust in what Jesus did on the cross: He died for our sins and then defeated the death by rising 3 days later! He made it very simple, He has done it all for us so don't add anything to it, just believe and trust Him! 🙌❤ Right before He comes to pick up His believers we will witness Russia attacking Germany. Missiles hitting USA , Fall of Freemason's Temple in Philadelphia, Alaska earthquakes back to back of magnitude 7.6 and 7.3. We will also see return of Yasser Arafat. This is all been revealed by Jesus's prophets right now.❤
I went around in that same circle, wondering if they knew exactly what they're doing or if they're just thoughtless and stupid, and concluded that I'm done with expending valuable energy on any of it. That's probably the point of healing. I don't ruminate anymore, don't really consider them whatsoever. Never thought it would be like this, and it took many years to achieve.
Even when they weren't awere what they are doing like a crocodile wich is just hungry, you don't have to stay until they eat you alive. I can understand that the beast is hungry, I can even have compassion for it's situation, but I wont let it eat me.
We've been going through this overnight as our Grandsons' mother has managed to alienate her neighbours, and get the whole family evicted - again! The kids are 18 and 20. They're both nice boys who don't know how to react when mommy's sad. Yes, she does have a capacity to self reflect. She's due in court next week, and her court persona is always a revelation. I just hope the kids can break free and start living their own lives.
They reduce your access to other ideas, perspectives and viewpoints until it becomes just their ideas, perspectives and viewpoints that you receive as information from the outside world. Without other alternatives, what they say and tell you is the only reality you know. Their ideas and thoughts are the only thing coming into your head. If you try and have your own ideas and thoughts, you are punished. The pain association teaches you to be afraid to have your own ideas and thoughts - you dont want to be punished and feel pain - so you stop having them. Expose yourself to new information, other perspectives, other beliefs, other ways of being. At first you will reject them. You will hear in your head how the narcissist would view these things, and how they would judge and belittle those people and perspectives. Learn the alternative viewpoints of great people from history, that achieved great things - much greater things than your narcissist ever achieved. What did they think? What do they believe? How did they act? Who were you before the narcissist came into your life and belittled what you loved? What music did you like? What books? What type of people? Tap back into that to find yourself again. Find truly great heroes not evil ugly ones. Learn from them
Yup. If my mother can have everyone outside the home seeing her as an angel who practically walks on water, yet is sooo spiteful and vindictive to her husband and children.. she knows exactly what she's doing!
What nobody talks about is how what I experienced. The stages of love bomb, devalue and discard. And the specific tactics of each stage are exactly the same. Exactly the same as everybody else’s. Did they learn that on CZcams? No it’s intrinsic. It’s spiritual. Something dark teaches these creatures.
They are in constant pain, but they need to win. How to win if they feel worse than you do? Make you feel even worse than that, until your misery is more significant than theirs. In their head, this raises them above you on the mental totem pole. They must be superior, because they are happier, despite still wallowing in sadness. Narcissists are humans turned into psychological parasites, demonic and pathetic. It is likely where many stories of possession come from.
They absolutely know they are stealing your dreams and are tremendously jealous of your dreams so want you dead so they can have your dreams. Absolutely. When cornered, they think there is nothing wrong with what they are doing. You do not exist. They are a God and the only existence. You are giving your life away that God gave you and all the gifts that God gave you. Get away so you can have what God gave you out of love
Good video. The narcissist is NOT a child. They have so many dumb excuses they think are valid. Such as in a co-parenting situation where they change up the visitation plans constantly or they withhold committing to a schedule, because "their work schedule is just too unpredictable". When , in reality, they have their schedule 3 months in advance! They simply want to control your life down to the minute, daily. They do this with the constant need for making arrangements and then "tweaking" them. They want to wait and see if they felt like leaving work early or late that day, or if they want to spend time with friends instead, and change up weekends on you so that you can't ever make plans! And, you have to communicate with them, of course, because it is "about the children."
This is my relationship with my father. I was his mom/dad parent figure my whole life emotionally. It was the weiredest experience that dessimated me. I had to pretend since as long as I could remember.
My wife kept acting more and more like a child and when she finally thought the idea of separation was better than talking it out, it was a very quick “see ya” and disappear for no contact. Later. Love your vids.
At 5:40 - 6:05, it's interesting because I tested that. I asked my ex to change his approach to our conversation multiple times, stating I wouldn't continue if he didn't stop. As soon as I turned on record, he looked at me funny and asked what I was doing. I said I was recording. He automatically switched to the communication I was asking for. This is when I knew he was using a control tactic.
Exactly what happened to me! As I realized I must break up and left him I had to first overcome my own feelings of guilt because he stalked me and cried like a little boy whose mother had abandoned him. 😢
You are the greatest Richard. Saying , you are living somebody else’s story or film is one of the most insightful comments I’ve heard about BPD. And you know that it is a bad story or film that they are making. 🎥
Why do they never apologise ? and act like nothing happened after the reactive abuse , like blow their top at you then five minutes later they're asking you if you want a cuppa . It twists your mind .
⚠❤Children are going to disappear around the world, then His adult TRUE believers. It is JESUS coming back to pick up His people! Make Him your Saviour! Do not stay for apocalypse!❤ Jesus promised 2 000y ago that He will come back for everybody who accepted His payment ( His death for our sins)❤ He is about to remove His believers from this earth sobthey won’t stay for the Judgement. He loves you like crazy! He doesn't want you to stay for that! God's Grace is about to run out.❤🥹 What saves us is trust in what Jesus did on the cross: He died for our sins and then defeated the death by rising 3 days later! He made it very simple, He has done it all for us so don't add anything to it, just believe and trust Him! 🙌❤ Right before He comes to pick up His believers we will witness Russia attacking Germany. Missiles hitting USA , Fall of Freemason's Temple in Philadelphia, Alaska earthquakes back to back of magnitude 7.6 and 7.3. We will also see return of Yasser Arafat. This is all been revealed by Jesus's prophets right now.❤
The issue with narcissists is they rewrite reality and history *automatically* and its ingrained in their psyche to do so, and as it is a fantasy defense, a 2 year old child would fully believe their rewritten version of what happened is true! It would end by them rewriting whatever makes them adapt to the situation that avoids whatever triggers the extreme unconscious burdens once confronted, they're completely unaware unless they embrace their emptiness & absence. You have to also remember, that what they speak is not what they think, they're 2 completely different entities, the narcissist could self reflect and admit things to the eyes of the world as its in relation to their hyper self consciousness but in their head it is something completely different.
This was a great and much needed video because I know people who had trauma in their childhoods and they are healed and helping other people now, they're great people! I also know a lot of people who didn't have a horrible childhood although they may not have had the ideal childhood either but they use every excuse in the book why they live trifling nasty lifestyles! It's ALWAYS somebody else's fault for why they are so messed up! They never want to hear WHAT THEY NEED TO DO to heal or make their lives better as an adult, and that is just not acceptable! Again, great video! 👏👏👏💯🎯 I needed to hear this today!❤
I'm a self aware narcisst. For me it's like I can only in retrospect see and analyse what im doing. But that information is not there in the moment, the defences take over. At the end of the day I can only laugh at what kind of misserable shit i'm doing.
Are you aware that you abuse others as "self aware" narcissist? It's very interesting to hear an opinion from someone on the other side. Thanks for sharing.
When you're in the moment.... If you can create space in the mind..... You can catch the pattern. Mindfulness helps relieve the pressure, remind yourself that you're reacting, and choose to stay silent BEFORE saying anything. Yes it will feel hard, but with your awareness, knowing it's an old childlike response, and nobody is hurting you now..... This helped me!!!
9 years down the road and I still feel some residual impact which this very sick and broken man (narcissist ) made on me. I feel that if I saw you and even had a little cry on your shoulder I’d be able to release myself from this pain completely - you are after all someone who can truly understand that feeling . I still feel like am detoxicating my soul from this evil . Thank you Richard. I have watched you for years and am so glad you continue to help others find their worth and self-respect, and help them leave the narcissist for good. Hope to meet you one day. Thank you .
🙌👏👏👏 I agree with the commentor this is an impressive talk!!! You are really in your new dialed zone! I think you excavated an awareness I was not able to do for myself. I thought these thoughts and sacrifices were mine....but all of a sudden the clarity came that they are not. Thanks for education you give.
WOW! 😳 Mr. Richard having subscribed to your channel and listening to your videos makes so much sense. My sweetheart and I have been living with her dad at his home while she recovered from squamous cell carcinoma lung cancer stage 3 now in remission and all I can say is it's been literal HELL!! for 10 months now. It's time for us to leave now and go back to her home. He's 86 years old short in statue and still gets around and to top it off my sweethearts brother and his wife have moved in the back to take over his affairs and when that time comes. I have had to resign from my production window and doors job of 10 years! to take care of my sweetheart but now is the time to move back to our home and get the hell out of here. Yes he is full blown Narcissist!. I am currently recovering and deconstructing from religion and using critical thinking 🤔 skills now. I thank you Mr. Richard for your CZcams channel. Much love and light to you Sir, always.💪🍷🙃😲🤪🤫🙈😩⏳💰👀😉🙄😳🌎🌍🤔🦉
My HeNarc bosses me around, tells me how to do things (his way) even though I’m highly capable. I have said “I don’t need a dad” he has actually said “(Oh yes you do. You need a dad.” No I needed a husband, a partner. He has actually been more like one of my children, waiting for me to take care of him. And I feel disgusted by how f-ing weird about it as I look back on the nightmare. He is the BIGGEST REGRET OF MY LIFE. ❤
Malevolent behaviour in the narcissist is real, likened to worse than some people incarcerated. He was no egnima once I realised who he is. I tried recording him, my phone was snatched from my hand, He physically attacked me. He also found a dictaphone I hid and he took it, then he denied it was in his pocket. I'm left wandering if hell harm nd destroy the new supply. The devil dressed up as a man of quality, honesty and all that's good.
It's a poisoning of the soul when abuse happens at a very young and impressionable age...abuse will create a victim but also a perpetrator at the same time in some cases, and my guess is it depends on the severity of the abuse...
I realized, when I was going through the pain of disconnecting, that I was having HIS thought processes. I remember saying to myself, "these are not my thoughts"! I'm thinking like him and it's so BLEAK! It took me a while to stop doing this but I did. It was agonizing to disconnect but worth EVERY BIT of desperate misery. I've been free a long time and happy!
If they choose to leave the roof, go to bed and turn their face to the wall in response to your need to talk, they know what they are doing. If they walk out of the house... they know
I am so grateful I found your videos. It has helped me how I engage with my narc husband. I feel stronger and more aware. Why does my husband always pulls me back almost as fast as he discards me? I suspect hes been cheating and has other supply, but I have no concrete evidence. Thank you
My question is how you can keep doing this as someone who went through so many years of pain and healing. Do you ever get tired of talking about it? I am grateful for you and others similar who have helped so many learn about this so we can identify and move on. Thank you Richard!
I think you are right. It seems many of the people commenting are missing your point. Its not black and white. It is also very difficult to watch someone else go through this when they are struggling to decide to cut the apron strings, make attempts, then get hit with the guilt trips.
Correct. Emotionally they have the emotions of a 9 year old, however, intellectually, spiritually and physically their grown adults. That's the psychiatric facts. Thanks Richard our kid. Saint Anger
Fascinating stuff..I read about parenting children .We, as children, are self centered. Scream when we want to eat, tantrums not getting our way, learning to communicate better as we grow to get what we want. We LEARN to self control…self soothing in public. Behind closed doors they are still an infant crying.
I came home this afternoon to find a box left at my front door. It was supposed to be a Christmas gift from my ex, but I went no contact December 12th. He had told me he still had a gift for me, a pair of shoes. Well, yesterday was my birthday. He wrote Happy Birthday on the box of shoes and left them at my door while I was out today. The Happy Birthday scratched on the box looks much like what a child would do. He lives an hour away from me. It’s his address on the box, so I know he delivered them himself. Now I feel as though a scab has been ripped off of a well healed wound. I want to be the good person and thank him for the gift, but I know I should act as though this event never happened.
Chuck it in the trash. :D I still get hoovers from the narcissist I went no-contact with, and the longer I am no-contact, the more insulted I am that she thinks I can just forget the horrible things she did to me and my kids.
Of course narcissists know what they're doing. They abuse their loved ones behind closed doors, which they would never do in front of others, all the while playing the victim. They lie, smear, triangulate, plot, scheme and recruit their flying monkeys to join in fully knowing that what they're doing is wrong. You can't say that all that planning lacks being conscious..
My conclusion comes from a spiritual perspective, all of the NPD’s behavior (abuse) is described by God as the things which He hates. The opposite of: Light is Dark, Love is Evil, and Heaven is Hell. God knows who will not decide their hearts over to him. I’m convinced everyone has a choice in their behavior and decisions. The splitting from the self could very well be the point the narcissist chooses to deal with the Devil.
My narcissistic husband pretends he had the perfect childhood & all the problems in our relationship are my fault. His introspection & self reflection are not something I have ever experienced, neither a genuine apology for cruelty & neglect towards me as his partner. He appears to care about our children & is dutiful to the outside world but he is gaslighting & cruel to me, so yes they can definitely switch depending on their audience. He was an over indulged child, if that helps to understand that not all narcissistic people are victims of childhood trauma & sometimes their victims are codependent victims of trauma. I have been both the child victim & parent rescuer in my experience. At the end of the day, as an adult we can choose the path of empathy & justice or the path of neglect & vengeance despite our start in life.... Narcissistic people are either mollycoddled or abused into being...yep I'm Irish & mollycoddled boys of abused mothers are they type of man child I have attracted until now, healing with Many Thanks to you Richard & the community of narcissistic abuse healers you vibe with, you are all my tribe now🙏
I left in the middle of the night and packed everything I owned in the back of my little pick-up truck. I can't tell you how guilty I felt. I was 21 and leaving my childhood home for the 2nd time. I had no reason for guilt. I was starting my life. Yes, very narcissistic people they were.
I tried to move forward and foTwo days ago i almost ended up in hospital. For the first time i stupidly went on fb dating. My ex narcisscist played me for almost a month. I should have known it was him, but i didn't. I guess im that starved to be loved again. I struggle with depression and now i can barely get out of bed. I don't know Richard, about narcissists going down. He's fine, laughing, im suicidal. Im stuck in freeze.
You are most definitely a therapist. You make us think and introspect. Bravo. If we are watching, we’ve likely figured out what we are dealing with…being fooled into believing the narcissist needs to be “rescued.” Danger, danger!!! The “highly dramatic, hyper sentimentalizing, emotional incest” must stop. The similarity to a “cult scenario” is scary. It can be both partners, and the PTSD dissociative response is very, very real. Think of Sybil and multiple personalities. But these are our lives now. Cut the narcissist out.
Thank you for your content. It’s really helping me realize that the man who discarded me did me a huge favor. I just need to refocus my thoughts to something other than him.
There's a bird in nature that pretends it is wounded in order to attract attention to itself (and away from its nest/eggs/young). The narcissistic person uses the same tactics, to draw you away from anything that would take your attention away from them.
Thank you. You have helped me so much. I lived to tell a story yet it is still hard to tell. I got out with life threatening injuries.Had two life threatening surgeries. Two years of physical therapy and psychological therapy. I am grateful for your knowledge and understand it well.
❤Regardimg one of the last questions: Screening yourself and/or someone else isn't the same as diagnosing. A lay person in contrast to a clinician cannot diagnose. But one can screen by using one of Dr Robert Hares online assessments. These are only screening tools, but it might be the next step in getting therapy or master coaching.
Narcs are the first to check everyone on how they behave. So yes they are consciously aware of their own, they are just so grandiose they look at everyone else as below them and their feelings are not important to the narcissist
That's right, the heart-nature of actual children is distinctive. When dealing with a demonic spirit, the expression is only a mask of innocence. Time reveals that the demon (the mask) will show it's actual self once control and conformity of the supply is established, then the cruel devaluation and intended chaos shows it's ugly head.
Thank you Richard for always giving us thought provoking feedback. I was with a narcissistic personality for four years, ended it almost 7 months ago and still struggle with feelings of pity and guilt for shoving them back into the big mean world after such a hard life while simultaneously feeling an overwhelming need to air my grievances with them once and for all. I’m working hard on letting go of both but wow the struggle is real
Liberating. I remember my surprise when he showed insight into his selfish behaviour out of the blue. So he knows what he is doing. Usually, the code of silence must be upheld. As long as you don't talk about terrible actions, it's as if they never happened. His family's rules. This summer I got to observe how he becomes a dutiful son when his father lives with us and treats him better than spouse and kids. He just cannot be loving, only calculating. Thanks again. And Free Palestine.
I remember telling my ex , I'm not his momma , his sister or his wife . I'm just some one he's dating . I felt a shift in the relationship . He was a bit surprised . It was great 🌹❤️🌹
As i rewatch this i do understand what you are saying.Still think zpeaking to me each one alone understand their situation.I do thank you Richard for all your videos❤.
In my situation, they were aware of it, but they were able to justify it by convincing themselves it was ok. The same way the victim can justify their behavior to dismiss it.
Thank you for clarifying so many questions I’ve had. I’ve been going down this damn rabbit hole forever and it seems so many unanswered questions … but you dig a little deeper.
I think the dominant culture is so sick and alienating that even someone with a relatively healthy and stable upbringing is still pretty traumatized. I mean we make kids be inside sitting down for 7+ hours a day at least half the year 5-18. That itself is enough trauma to really hurt development. Many people see trauma as some kind of root phenomenon from which all these other things stem and branch out. I think the spectrum between connection and alienation is also really useful to look at and fundamental.
If their parents didn't do the job by loving them properly then it's no one duty to do it either.We will do better job by spending our energy for loving our own chidren as well as practicing self love instead focusing on these wasters.The price is too high which is our limited time on this planet.Wake up and focus on yourselves and your children at last.
Thank you again. I have had a life of narcicistic people. I divorced and are now talking to "a friend" from my past. I thought I could handle it but I see a pattern that I'm not happy with. I see them constantly looking for something in me that reminds me of their ex. I keep trying to fix things in them but it never happens even when they say they would like me to help. I hear them say things like I would've did that to if you had... ha ha just kidding. Well in the past what happened was your fault even when we're not talking about it they bring it up. I'm ready to end this wish it had never started. Messed up again, not real bad, at least I caught it in time. I'm learning.
@Richard Grannon pls do not delete this vid❣ pls make more short and to the point vids on any topic. I love them. Also, I do like when u interview people long form. Ty Sending my support.
Mine didnt say 'I kid you not' but rather 'and that's how it is' usually followed by a 15 to 30 minute goodbye in a word salad of blessings trailing off into another story from the collection, then some vehement judgement or hate, a sprinkle of stolen valor and back to the blessing script.
Toddlers never want to self reflect it’s takes good parental skills to make them retrospect willingly without creating guilt feelings.Most parents punish children if they don’t do and this child becomes reluctant about it.
Thanks so much for the introject explanation. Its just awful still having intrusive thoughts almost a year 'out'. But helps to understand where they are coming from. Thank you for all your content - been truly eye-opening!
Why get out and STAY out: a-I shouldn't take this type of emotional abuse from anyone. And/Or. b-once I know that he's sick, me being a healthy, functional adult, I should not be engaging a sick person in a romantic relationship.
They know! They smirk when they get you! They do not care. They want to be served.
absolutely
Narcs can self reflect and they do know right from wrong and know their behaviour towards others is bad, hurtful etc but THEY DON’T CARE! They lack empathy
Right on 👍.
When you see the smirk on their face while hurting you, you KNOW it’s on purpose, they KNOW what they are doing, infact they love it. My ex sister in law would always say “being good doesn’t get you anywhere, you have to be bad to people for them to behave around you”..
the smirk is the giveaway
@@Moe90ies I agree their smirkey grin is a dead give away and narcissists will tell on themselves. They say things and will show you who they are.
🎉
AMEN.....
fathers/partners who say "they love you".
rage and hurt you.. then smirk.
That smile ... They know. Schadenfreude
Do you remember how you felt as a little child when you did something wrong and you felt that shame and embarrassment? “The world was going to end?” That is what they feel AS AN ADULT with THAT SAME INTENSITY-that helpless SHAME. Except now, these adults use lies and manipulation to AVOID that shame feeling. You can think of a narcissist as a smart child who has learned to adapt to the word with malicious behavior, lies, manipulation, and deceit. ❤
I was born into a narcissistic family and married into one, and only three years ago did I start learning and understanding narcissism. If the narc is angry, they will provoke you to become angry too; If they're in a good mood, you're expected to be in a good mood too (even though they just shouted at screamed at you 15 minutes ago). You are not allowed to be an individual in a narcissistic relationship (be it romantic, platonic or familial). Tread lightly and choose the people around you wisely.
It's tough as hell. Hope you are able to recover
They definitely know. My husband identifies as a psychopath and narcissist- openly. Also, the first time I left him, he had an absolute melt down and kept using the word "abandoned" and then went on a punishment tangent. Which resulted in my taking him back just to stop the abuse. Bc it was so EXTREME. Also also, he has accidentally called me "mom" on several occasions. Richard is so nail on the head with everything always. Idk where I'd be right now with his insight and guidance 🙏 ❤ bless everyone on their healing journey!!
🤣🤣🤣I laughed so hard reading him calling you "mom"
There are so many toxic relationships one even is not aware of.
The stomach tells me something and gives hints if some relationship is toxic or not.
I think they know
I see the glimmer in the eyes after inflicting pain. You have to know what you are doing to inflict pain
I've seen that too
It's like they just got their drug fix
Yes! My mother gets a little glint in her eye immediately before delivering some really hurtful barb. I see it as her connecting her brain phone to the narcissistic hub 😂
Yeah, children know what they’re doing as well believe it or not😂
They know. They smirk. Giggle, say the person deserve it.
Because I have empathy and I'm codependent , I stayed 7 years to long to help my narcissist "victim". I tried to rescue . As Richard said , it was a dreadful mistake on my part . I have divorced , gone no contact for my emotional and physical self preservation . My story is profoundly painful and horrible and my 9 year experience deeply negatively affected me . I came very close to being emotionally dismantled and I became very physically sick , but I finally escaped my abuser , Thank God .🙏, Thank you Mr . Grannon.
I stayed 25 yrs. Too long
Writing to Reflect That You Are Brave and Good. You Deserve To Be Treated With Respect For Your Chosen Boundaries and To Feel Safe and Live With As Much Support and Enthusiasm as Possible - - That is Your Birthright - No Other Person Is More Important and No Other Person Should Be Allowed Access To You If They Detract From Your Positive Presence and Pathway in Life. Love and Light To You - - and Good On You For Finally Getting Away. It May Seem Like You Barely Can Get On From Here With All the Damage - - But With Time, Supportive Therapy, Good Health Habits and NO CONTACT = You Will Walk In The Sun Of Your Peaceful Heart Again XO From Another Survivor.
@@bthe1doright462 many thanks 🙏
Very similar to my situation
@@ArchAngel435me too… 23 years actually, but he’s weaponised my kids against me and we’re also at the 25 year mark now….
Last year I had a new neighbour and her daughter moving in next to me. She seemed to be in such a miserable situation, no job, no friends, no family, pretty depressed. A very charming victim of people and circumstances, which made me want to help her with everything for over a year. When I realized that she was just abusing and caring a shit about me and others was when I understood that she is a covert narcissist. Lazy is a word that I hardly ever use, but she and her daughter really are the laziest people I have ever met in my whole life. Before, I didn't know that there are people who choose delegating as a life philosophy, but there really are...
Who cares what they think it's always 100% about them no one else
You don't need to be invested but we should observe and and learn enough to be good bouncers at the door of our lives.
Fact!
⚠❤Children are going to disappear around the world, then His adult TRUE believers. It is JESUS coming back to pick up His people! Make Him your Saviour! Do not stay for apocalypse!❤
Jesus promised 2 000y ago that He will come back for everybody who accepted His payment ( His death for our sins)❤ He is about to remove His believers from this earth sobthey won’t stay for the Judgement.
He loves you like crazy! He doesn't want you to stay for that! God's Grace is about to run out.❤🥹 What saves us is trust in what Jesus did on the cross: He died for our sins and then defeated the death by rising 3 days later! He made it very simple, He has done it all for us so don't add anything to it, just believe and trust Him! 🙌❤
Right before He comes to pick up His believers we will witness Russia attacking Germany. Missiles hitting USA , Fall of Freemason's Temple in Philadelphia, Alaska earthquakes back to back of magnitude 7.6 and 7.3. We will also see return of Yasser Arafat. This is all been revealed by Jesus's prophets right now.❤
Good point!
Very true , I was an orphan at the age of six months old but I,m not a lost child , narccisists love to play the victim even when they did have loving parents , they behave like toddlers
It’s pretty bad
But I have friends thank God
@@ChristinaLabruzzo Thank God I have a few true friends too , ♥️
From my limited experience, narcisists had traumatised mothers, a mother who is unable to love them because of her psychic splitting. It’s demonic, they are consciously or unconsciously working with demons
@@eutoteu7852it’s called a “dead mother “
@@Camposdarkomaybe it’s a dead father not mother…..
Best to quit focusing on the narcissist and turn your time toward helping yourself. Work on changing your need to be needed and getting your validation from that as an individual, work on changing your thoughts about and toward yourself, work on changing the "pity" for the narcissist to love for yourself and grow away from them. Grow toward a healthy, developed self. Discern what that even looks like. May peace be part of your process.
Although these videos are so valuable to those who are just beginning to learn what is happening to them, it would be great to see more positive reinforcement for those who are now on the other side…”I survived narcissism…now what?” Or, “How to deflect the ultimate hoover.” Peace is what we long for. Would love to see others’ suggestions.
Beautifully said!
@@user-cy8cs3jp9f I have kept my conversations in bare minimum word's. Yes ok no not possible can't make it.. repeatedly said no without explaining reason over and over again. I don't owe them explanation. They get triggered and silence gets uncomfortable but it must be done. You reach a certain point where they are forced you accept and stop bothering. I have sweared and threatened flying monkey's, confronted them for trying to be a middle man. They go defensive immediately and after a while stop altogether. It gets really uncomfortable for becoming aggressive but it works. I treasure my peace and sanity over everything.
I was engaged to someone who was diagnosed as Schizophrenic, and I believe he also had NPD. A mutual friend commented that I was becoming more like his mother than a partner. I made sure he had enough food and was eating properly, I bought him groceries, beer and cigarettes. And I felt burned out. We finally broke up when he went off to be with his ex-wife and ghosted me. If you're a kind, compassionate and giving person - they'll latch on to you and they're so hard to leave. But you need to in order to save yourself!
my father exactly like that. selfish prick. and my mother became his caretaker, been worried about his meals ,likes and dislikes...
I have done exactly that: imagining my nex wallowing in her suffering, her poor decisions, her shame and guilt, her incompetence, and took pity on her. Half the reason I stayed for ten years through all the abuse is because I pitied her and wanted to "save her."
Same
Although I did it too. I think I might be a narcissist too...
I completely understand what you wrote .
same with me.
My exN was a very well known person in our community, very well connected n influential. I stayed bcoz of the huge shame I would have to endure.
⚠❤Children are going to disappear around the world, then His adult TRUE believers. It is JESUS coming back to pick up His people! Make Him your Saviour! Do not stay for apocalypse!❤
Jesus promised 2 000y ago that He will come back for everybody who accepted His payment ( His death for our sins)❤ He is about to remove His believers from this earth sobthey won’t stay for the Judgement.
He loves you like crazy! He doesn't want you to stay for that! God's Grace is about to run out.❤🥹 What saves us is trust in what Jesus did on the cross: He died for our sins and then defeated the death by rising 3 days later! He made it very simple, He has done it all for us so don't add anything to it, just believe and trust Him! 🙌❤
Right before He comes to pick up His believers we will witness Russia attacking Germany. Missiles hitting USA , Fall of Freemason's Temple in Philadelphia, Alaska earthquakes back to back of magnitude 7.6 and 7.3. We will also see return of Yasser Arafat. This is all been revealed by Jesus's prophets right now.❤
My experience as a psychologist: they usually choose not to introspect. I’ve heard “I do reflect from time to time”.
Thank you for mentioning that as a professional. They CHOOSE NOT TO INTROSPECT.
I went around in that same circle, wondering if they knew exactly what they're doing or if they're just thoughtless and stupid, and concluded that I'm done with expending valuable energy on any of it. That's probably the point of healing. I don't ruminate anymore, don't really consider them whatsoever. Never thought it would be like this, and it took many years to achieve.
GOOD ON YOU !
i’m not gonna lie man i’m terrified to think that it will take me years to become indifferent towards my ex. she destroyed me 10x over.
Even when they weren't awere what they are doing like a crocodile wich is just hungry, you don't have to stay until they eat you alive.
I can understand that the beast is hungry, I can even have compassion for it's situation, but I wont let it eat me.
Well said Katarina, that seems the best framing of the problem to me too.
We've been going through this overnight as our Grandsons' mother has managed to alienate her neighbours, and get the whole family evicted - again! The kids are 18 and 20. They're both nice boys who don't know how to react when mommy's sad. Yes, she does have a capacity to self reflect. She's due in court next week, and her court persona is always a revelation. I just hope the kids can break free and start living their own lives.
They reduce your access to other ideas, perspectives and viewpoints until it becomes just their ideas, perspectives and viewpoints that you receive as information from the outside world.
Without other alternatives, what they say and tell you is the only reality you know.
Their ideas and thoughts are the only thing coming into your head.
If you try and have your own ideas and thoughts, you are punished.
The pain association teaches you to be afraid to have your own ideas and thoughts - you dont want to be punished and feel pain - so you stop having them.
Expose yourself to new information, other perspectives, other beliefs, other ways of being.
At first you will reject them. You will hear in your head how the narcissist would view these things, and how they would judge and belittle those people and perspectives.
Learn the alternative viewpoints of great people from history, that achieved great things - much greater things than your narcissist ever achieved. What did they think? What do they believe? How did they act?
Who were you before the narcissist came into your life and belittled what you loved? What music did you like? What books? What type of people? Tap back into that to find yourself again. Find truly great heroes not evil ugly ones. Learn from them
They KNOW! Thats why its behind closed doors! Get real
They don’t want others to know
Oh YES! They know!
@@nicholecornes1915 They’re mostly on social media abusing their victims also. And behind closed doors their victims are tortured with abuse
@@nicholecornes1915 But they don’t want anyone to know and find out. They are attention seekers energy vampires and monsters
Yup. If my mother can have everyone outside the home seeing her as an angel who practically walks on water, yet is sooo spiteful and vindictive to her husband and children.. she knows exactly what she's doing!
What nobody talks about is how what I experienced. The stages of love bomb, devalue and discard. And the specific tactics of each stage are exactly the same. Exactly the same as everybody else’s. Did they learn that on CZcams? No it’s intrinsic. It’s spiritual. Something dark teaches these creatures.
They simply enjoy inflicting pain.
Exactly.
They are in constant pain, but they need to win. How to win if they feel worse than you do? Make you feel even worse than that, until your misery is more significant than theirs. In their head, this raises them above you on the mental totem pole. They must be superior, because they are happier, despite still wallowing in sadness. Narcissists are humans turned into psychological parasites, demonic and pathetic. It is likely where many stories of possession come from.
Very sadistic. Sadism.
@@Prometheuspredator🎯
what a waste of a " skin suit"
They absolutely know they are stealing your dreams and are tremendously jealous of your dreams so want you dead so they can have your dreams. Absolutely. When cornered, they think there is nothing wrong with what they are doing. You do not exist. They are a God and the only existence. You are giving your life away that God gave you and all the gifts that God gave you. Get away so you can have what God gave you out of love
Good video. The narcissist is NOT a child. They have so many dumb excuses they think are valid. Such as in a co-parenting situation where they change up the visitation plans constantly or they withhold committing to a schedule, because "their work schedule is just too unpredictable". When , in reality, they have their schedule 3 months in advance! They simply want to control your life down to the minute, daily. They do this with the constant need for making arrangements and then "tweaking" them. They want to wait and see if they felt like leaving work early or late that day, or if they want to spend time with friends instead, and change up weekends on you so that you can't ever make plans! And, you have to communicate with them, of course, because it is "about the children."
This is my relationship with my father. I was his mom/dad parent figure my whole life emotionally. It was the weiredest experience that dessimated me. I had to pretend since as long as I could remember.
My wife kept acting more and more like a child and when she finally thought the idea of separation was better than talking it out, it was a very quick “see ya” and disappear for no contact. Later. Love your vids.
At 5:40 - 6:05, it's interesting because I tested that. I asked my ex to change his approach to our conversation multiple times, stating I wouldn't continue if he didn't stop. As soon as I turned on record, he looked at me funny and asked what I was doing. I said I was recording. He automatically switched to the communication I was asking for. This is when I knew he was using a control tactic.
Exactly what happened to me! As I realized I must break up and left him I had to first overcome my own feelings of guilt because he stalked me and cried like a little boy whose mother had abandoned him. 😢
You are the greatest Richard. Saying , you are living somebody else’s story or film is one of the most insightful comments I’ve heard about BPD. And you know that it is a bad story or film that they are making. 🎥
But yes, you are correct, they are very aware of what they are doing and do not have the capacity to self reflect.
Sorry, see how exhausted I am, THEY DO HAVE THE ABILITY TO SELF REFLECT. Sheesh
Why do they never apologise ? and act like nothing happened after the reactive abuse , like blow their top at you then five minutes later they're asking you if you want a cuppa . It twists your mind .
They're dense and egotistical.
They are so overwhelmed by the possibility of any spec of feeling shame they are incredibly defended against ANY accountability.
Oh they do say sorry,but it's one of those sorrys, that is hollow.
@soulTraveller144 it's meaningless.
⚠❤Children are going to disappear around the world, then His adult TRUE believers. It is JESUS coming back to pick up His people! Make Him your Saviour! Do not stay for apocalypse!❤
Jesus promised 2 000y ago that He will come back for everybody who accepted His payment ( His death for our sins)❤ He is about to remove His believers from this earth sobthey won’t stay for the Judgement.
He loves you like crazy! He doesn't want you to stay for that! God's Grace is about to run out.❤🥹 What saves us is trust in what Jesus did on the cross: He died for our sins and then defeated the death by rising 3 days later! He made it very simple, He has done it all for us so don't add anything to it, just believe and trust Him! 🙌❤
Right before He comes to pick up His believers we will witness Russia attacking Germany. Missiles hitting USA , Fall of Freemason's Temple in Philadelphia, Alaska earthquakes back to back of magnitude 7.6 and 7.3. We will also see return of Yasser Arafat. This is all been revealed by Jesus's prophets right now.❤
Yep totally. Very creepy when you look back at those strange/weird times with a narcissist 😬
The issue with narcissists is they rewrite reality and history *automatically* and its ingrained in their psyche to do so, and as it is a fantasy defense, a 2 year old child would fully believe their rewritten version of what happened is true! It would end by them rewriting whatever makes them adapt to the situation that avoids whatever triggers the extreme unconscious burdens once confronted, they're completely unaware unless they embrace their emptiness & absence. You have to also remember, that what they speak is not what they think, they're 2 completely different entities, the narcissist could self reflect and admit things to the eyes of the world as its in relation to their hyper self consciousness but in their head it is something completely different.
Ohhh! So glad to hear someone else feels casual sex is unhealthy! Thanks so much for this.
This was a great and much needed video because I know people who had trauma in their childhoods and they are healed and helping other people now, they're great people! I also know a lot of people who didn't have a horrible childhood although they may not have had the ideal childhood either but they use every excuse in the book why they live trifling nasty lifestyles! It's ALWAYS somebody else's fault for why they are so messed up! They never want to hear WHAT THEY NEED TO DO to heal or make their lives better as an adult, and that is just not acceptable! Again, great video! 👏👏👏💯🎯 I needed to hear this today!❤
I'm a self aware narcisst. For me it's like I can only in retrospect see and analyse what im doing. But that information is not there in the moment, the defences take over. At the end of the day I can only laugh at what kind of misserable shit i'm doing.
Are you aware that you abuse others as "self aware" narcissist? It's very interesting to hear an opinion from someone on the other side. Thanks for sharing.
When you're in the moment.... If you can create space in the mind..... You can catch the pattern. Mindfulness helps relieve the pressure, remind yourself that you're reacting, and choose to stay silent BEFORE saying anything. Yes it will feel hard, but with your awareness, knowing it's an old childlike response, and nobody is hurting you now..... This helped me!!!
9 years down the road and I still feel some residual impact which this very sick and broken man (narcissist ) made on me. I feel that if I saw you and even had a little cry on your shoulder I’d be able to release myself from this pain completely - you are after all someone who can truly understand that feeling . I still feel like am detoxicating my soul from this evil .
Thank you Richard. I have watched you for years and am so glad you continue to help others find their worth and self-respect, and help them leave the narcissist for good.
Hope to meet you one day. Thank you .
🙌👏👏👏 I agree with the commentor this is an impressive talk!!! You are really in your new dialed zone! I think you excavated an awareness I was not able to do for myself. I thought these thoughts and sacrifices were mine....but all of a sudden the clarity came that they are not. Thanks for education you give.
I appreciate that!
WOW! 😳 Mr. Richard having subscribed to your channel and listening to your videos makes so much sense. My sweetheart and I have been living with her dad at his home while she recovered from squamous cell carcinoma lung cancer stage 3 now in remission and all I can say is it's been literal HELL!! for 10 months now. It's time for us to leave now and go back to her home. He's 86 years old short in statue and still gets around and to top it off my sweethearts brother and his wife have moved in the back to take over his affairs and when that time comes. I have had to resign from my production window and doors job of 10 years! to take care of my sweetheart but now is the time to move back to our home and get the hell out of here. Yes he is full blown Narcissist!. I am currently recovering and deconstructing from religion and using critical thinking 🤔 skills now. I thank you Mr. Richard for your CZcams channel. Much love and light to you Sir, always.💪🍷🙃😲🤪🤫🙈😩⏳💰👀😉🙄😳🌎🌍🤔🦉
Oh trust me they definitely know what they're doing, they wanna know whether they will get caught or not.
I like what you said, Richard, about not feeling guilty about abandoning the narcissist, who is in turn thinking of themselves as this innocent child.
My HeNarc bosses me around, tells me how to do things (his way) even though I’m highly capable. I have said “I don’t need a dad” he has actually said “(Oh yes you do. You need a dad.” No I needed a husband, a partner. He has actually been more like one of my children, waiting for me to take care of him. And I feel disgusted by how f-ing weird about it as I look back on the nightmare. He is the BIGGEST REGRET OF MY LIFE. ❤
Malevolent behaviour in the narcissist is real, likened to worse than some people incarcerated. He was no egnima once I realised who he is.
I tried recording him, my phone was snatched from my hand, He physically attacked me. He also found a dictaphone I hid and he took it, then he denied it was in his pocket.
I'm left wandering if hell harm nd destroy the new supply. The devil dressed up as a man of quality, honesty and all that's good.
It's a poisoning of the soul when abuse happens at a very young and impressionable age...abuse will create a victim but also a perpetrator at the same time in some cases, and my guess is it depends on the severity of the abuse...
I realized, when I was going through the pain of disconnecting, that I was having HIS thought processes. I remember saying to myself, "these are not my thoughts"! I'm thinking like him and it's so BLEAK! It took me a while to stop doing this but I did. It was agonizing to disconnect but worth EVERY BIT of desperate misery. I've been free a long time and happy!
If they choose to leave the roof, go to bed and turn their face to the wall in response to your need to talk, they know what they are doing. If they walk out of the house... they know
Why I love him, when the pain he gives is so deep
Look up why the narcissist love's you to death by Prof Sam Vakin 😢
The self reflecting with this disorder seems to happen for less than a minute…may be too painful, not sure…but then live in a bubble.
I am so grateful I found your videos. It has helped me how I engage with my narc husband. I feel stronger and more aware. Why does my husband always pulls me back almost as fast as he discards me? I suspect hes been cheating and has other supply, but I have no concrete evidence. Thank you
Same for me
I’ve laughed plenty during this… also realized I am parent/rescuer.. ick.
My question is how you can keep doing this as someone who went through so many years of pain and healing. Do you ever get tired of talking about it? I am grateful for you and others similar who have helped so many learn about this so we can identify and move on. Thank you Richard!
I think you are right. It seems many of the people commenting are missing your point. Its not black and white. It is also very difficult to watch someone else go through this when they are struggling to decide to cut the apron strings, make attempts, then get hit with the guilt trips.
Correct.
Emotionally they have the emotions of a 9 year old, however, intellectually, spiritually and physically their grown adults.
That's the psychiatric facts.
Thanks Richard our kid.
Saint Anger
Fascinating stuff..I read about parenting children .We, as children, are self centered. Scream when we want to eat, tantrums not getting our way, learning to communicate better as we grow to get what we want. We LEARN to self control…self soothing in public. Behind closed doors they are still an infant crying.
I came home this afternoon to find a box left at my front door. It was supposed to be a Christmas gift from my ex, but I went no contact December 12th. He had told me he still had a gift for me, a pair of shoes. Well, yesterday was my birthday. He wrote Happy Birthday on the box of shoes and left them at my door while I was out today. The Happy Birthday scratched on the box looks much like what a child would do. He lives an hour away from me. It’s his address on the box, so I know he delivered them himself. Now I feel as though a scab has been ripped off of a well healed wound. I want to be the good person and thank him for the gift, but I know I should act as though this event never happened.
Chuck it in the trash. :D I still get hoovers from the narcissist I went no-contact with, and the longer I am no-contact, the more insulted I am that she thinks I can just forget the horrible things she did to me and my kids.
Of course narcissists know what they're doing. They abuse their loved ones behind closed doors, which they would never do in front of others, all the while playing the victim. They lie, smear, triangulate, plot, scheme and recruit their flying monkeys to join in fully knowing that what they're doing is wrong. You can't say that all that planning lacks being conscious..
My conclusion comes from a spiritual perspective, all of the NPD’s behavior (abuse) is described by God as the things which He hates. The opposite of: Light is Dark, Love is Evil, and Heaven is Hell. God knows who will not decide their hearts over to him. I’m convinced everyone has a choice in their behavior and decisions. The splitting from the self could very well be the point the narcissist chooses to deal with the Devil.
Weird and Gross words I truly connect with after NPD awareness. Demonic too.
Adore your channel Richard ! Thank you
My narcissistic husband pretends he had the perfect childhood & all the problems in our relationship are my fault. His introspection & self reflection are not something I have ever experienced, neither a genuine apology for cruelty & neglect towards me as his partner. He appears to care about our children & is dutiful to the outside world but he is gaslighting & cruel to me, so yes they can definitely switch depending on their audience. He was an over indulged child, if that helps to understand that not all narcissistic people are victims of childhood trauma & sometimes their victims are codependent victims of trauma. I have been both the child victim & parent rescuer in my experience. At the end of the day, as an adult we can choose the path of empathy & justice or the path of neglect & vengeance despite our start in life.... Narcissistic people are either mollycoddled or abused into being...yep I'm Irish & mollycoddled boys of abused mothers are they type of man child I have attracted until now, healing with Many Thanks to you Richard & the community of narcissistic abuse healers you vibe with, you are all my tribe now🙏
Molly coddled boys of abused mothers....... This sounds familiar to me. Thank you for sharing.
Actually this is so true it's actually scary...... 😢
I left in the middle of the night and packed everything I owned in the back of my little pick-up truck. I can't tell you how guilty I felt. I was 21 and leaving my childhood home for the 2nd time. I had no reason for guilt. I was starting my life. Yes, very narcissistic people they were.
I tried to move forward and foTwo days ago i almost ended up in hospital. For the first time i stupidly went on fb dating. My ex narcisscist played me for almost a month. I should have known it was him, but i didn't. I guess im that starved to be loved again. I struggle with depression and now i can barely get out of bed. I don't know Richard, about narcissists going down. He's fine, laughing, im suicidal. Im stuck in freeze.
This hurts so much but i wouldn't learn any other way. Thanks Rishard.
One day. You will look back at your old self and feel like a brand new you ;) !
💚
Sorry I couldn't see my keyboard.. Richard. Thanks
You are most definitely a therapist. You make us think and introspect. Bravo. If we are watching, we’ve likely figured out what we are dealing with…being fooled into believing the narcissist needs to be “rescued.” Danger, danger!!! The “highly dramatic, hyper sentimentalizing, emotional incest” must stop. The similarity to a “cult scenario” is scary. It can be both partners, and the PTSD dissociative response is very, very real. Think of Sybil and multiple personalities. But these are our lives now. Cut the narcissist out.
Thank you for your content. It’s really helping me realize that the man who discarded me did me a huge favor. I just need to refocus my thoughts to something other than him.
There's a bird in nature that pretends it is wounded in order to attract attention to itself (and away from its nest/eggs/young). The narcissistic person uses the same tactics, to draw you away from anything that would take your attention away from them.
Thank you. You have helped me so much. I lived to tell a story yet it is still hard to tell. I got out with life threatening injuries.Had two life threatening surgeries. Two years of physical therapy and psychological therapy. I am grateful for your knowledge and understand it well.
❤Regardimg one of the last questions: Screening yourself and/or someone else isn't the same as diagnosing. A lay person in contrast to a clinician cannot diagnose. But one can screen by using one of Dr Robert Hares online assessments. These are only screening tools, but it might be the next step in getting therapy or master coaching.
Love is lettin' go.
Narcs are the first to check everyone on how they behave. So yes they are consciously aware of their own, they are just so grandiose they look at everyone else as below them and their feelings are not important to the narcissist
That's right, the heart-nature of actual children is distinctive. When dealing with a demonic spirit, the expression is only a mask of innocence. Time reveals that the demon (the mask) will show it's actual self once control and conformity of the supply is established, then the cruel devaluation and intended chaos shows it's ugly head.
Thank you Richard for always giving us thought provoking feedback. I was with a narcissistic personality for four years, ended it almost 7 months ago and still struggle with feelings of pity and guilt for shoving them back into the big mean world after such a hard life while simultaneously feeling an overwhelming need to air my grievances with them once and for all. I’m working hard on letting go of both but wow the struggle is real
Liberating. I remember my surprise when he showed insight into his selfish behaviour out of the blue. So he knows what he is doing. Usually, the code of silence must be upheld. As long as you don't talk about terrible actions, it's as if they never happened. His family's rules. This summer I got to observe how he becomes a dutiful son when his father lives with us and treats him better than spouse and kids. He just cannot be loving, only calculating. Thanks again. And Free Palestine.
I remember telling my ex , I'm not his momma , his sister or his wife . I'm just some one he's dating . I felt a shift in the relationship . He was a bit surprised . It was great 🌹❤️🌹
As i rewatch this i do understand what you are saying.Still think zpeaking to me each one alone understand their situation.I do thank you Richard for all your videos❤.
Richard thank you so much for the work you’re doing! It really helps, so keep going 🩵
In my situation, they were aware of it, but they were able to justify it by convincing themselves it was ok. The same way the victim can justify their behavior to dismiss it.
Thank you for this video, Richard! It was exactly what I needed today.
Richard your explanation of what an introject is was a terrific Short! I mean you completely nailed it within like 15 seconds. 🤯
Thank you for clarifying so many questions I’ve had. I’ve been going down this damn rabbit hole forever and it seems so many unanswered questions … but you dig a little deeper.
I think the dominant culture is so sick and alienating that even someone with a relatively healthy and stable upbringing is still pretty traumatized. I mean we make kids be inside sitting down for 7+ hours a day at least half the year 5-18. That itself is enough trauma to really hurt development. Many people see trauma as some kind of root phenomenon from which all these other things stem and branch out. I think the spectrum between connection and alienation is also really useful to look at and fundamental.
If their parents didn't do the job by loving them properly then it's no one duty to do it either.We will do better job by spending our energy for loving our own chidren as well as practicing self love instead focusing on these wasters.The price is too high which is our limited time on this planet.Wake up and focus on yourselves and your children at last.
I wish I had . I don't know just how much my children have been effected I nearly let it destroy me.
Thank you again. I have had a life of narcicistic people. I divorced and are now talking to "a friend" from my past. I thought I could handle it but I see a pattern that I'm not happy with. I see them constantly looking for something in me that reminds me of their ex. I keep trying to fix things in them but it never happens even when they say they would like me to help. I hear them say things like I would've did that to if you had... ha ha just kidding. Well in the past what happened was your fault even when we're not talking about it they bring it up. I'm ready to end this wish it had never started. Messed up again, not real bad, at least I caught it in time. I'm learning.
You can't fix anyone, much less a narcissist.
@Richard Grannon pls do not delete this vid❣ pls make more short and to the point vids on any topic. I love them. Also, I do like when u interview people long form. Ty Sending my support.
I agree, more shorts and I would love to have them on Spotify as well
Thank you 🥲🥺no one can put it like you do. I feel less chaos in my head.
Demonic possession
You're very much appreciated Richard. Thank you
From sunny South Africa
One of your best ones, Richard!!! If I may. I think it makes total sense.👋
Mine didnt say 'I kid you not' but rather 'and that's how it is' usually followed by a 15 to 30 minute goodbye in a word salad of blessings trailing off into another story from the collection, then some vehement judgement or hate, a sprinkle of stolen valor and back to the blessing script.
They have learned to be a helpless victim because they know the other person will react to it. Getting things done without moving ass.
Toddlers never want to self reflect it’s takes good parental skills to make them retrospect willingly without creating guilt feelings.Most parents punish children if they don’t do and this child becomes reluctant about it.
👏👏👏Never have I dealt with anything more 🥴
Complex..
Than narcissists 😮💨
You’ve taught me so
M U C H❣️
They're is a book out titled "the myth of the spoiled child" - that word could stand some more defining in our cultures
Wow this is gold! You're so smart!!!
Thanks so much for the introject explanation. Its just awful still having intrusive thoughts almost a year 'out'. But helps to understand where they are coming from. Thank you for all your content - been truly eye-opening!
I appreciate your sharp forthright words more every day.
my brain goes AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH :)
Excellent content Richard 👌 thank you ❤
Why get out and STAY out: a-I shouldn't take this type of emotional abuse from anyone. And/Or. b-once I know that he's sick, me being a healthy, functional adult, I should not be engaging a sick person in a romantic relationship.
So chilling this live Richard. Very close to the bone. Thank you so much for these very astute verbalisations. 🙏🙏🙏
Very intersting points being made here. I agree with nearly everything you have laid out here in this video. Great video.