Different Ways That Women Test Men (AND WHAT TO DO) | Courtney Ryan
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- čas přidán 31. 05. 2024
- In this video, I go over different ways that women test men according to an article I found online. Though I’m sure sometimes these things are intentional, I think a lot of the time these are subconscious ways we discover compatibility. I don’t agree with the manipulative aspect of “testing people” and it would be better for everyone if we were just honest and upfront about our expectations when dating new people. Thank you all for watching and let me know in the comments ways that you've been tested in the past!
Original Article:
www.bunchofwisdom.com/shit-test/
Reacting To Entrepreneurs In Cars “How To Test For High Quality Women”
• Reacting To Entreprene...
Reacting To "STOP Giving Women FREE ATTENTION! (RED PILL)"
• Reacting To "STOP Givi...
CONTACT/ FOLLOW ME:
Instagram: @courtneycristineryan
EMAIL/COLLAB: courtneycristineryan@gmail.com - Jak na to + styl
Deleted all social media over a year ago. I feel like 70% of the stuff Courtney talks about wouldn't even need to be addressed if social media never existed.
Yes Sir Correct.
Preach.
I agree. :)
Absolutely.
SMH you right bro 🤔
If a woman I just met insults me, I just smile and walk away. If she thinks that behavior is OK, I want nothing to do with her.
I’ll say something positive back like “peace and blessings to you” then walk off. I did that and she came back and apologized
You did right. Keep your masculine frame and walk away.
Exactly. Think of it this way - would that same woman “shit test” the CEO of her company by belittling him during a meeting to see if he’s a competent CEO? Of course not. Because she fears the consequence.
If a woman is shit testing you, it’s because she doesn’t see you as the kind of guy who has the balls to stand up for himself.
If you “pass her test” you’re just confirming to her that you have no backbone and that she can bully you
@@tomk2926 By your reaction to her passing a small, or possibly crucial kind of test, you're doing her a huge favour and she's dodging a big old bullet when you cop your crap attitude about it and walk away. You're not her CEO. Making that kind of comparison shows you're going to try to be though. You don't deserve immediate respect, you have to earn that. it goes both ways. A small test is not disrespect, it's trying to get to know you. You're not showing backbone, you're showing attitude and that you'll be super quick to slam her into her rightful place, underneath and never beside you. You red pill freaks really are something else.
Most women lose me with their tests... their test turn into my criteria test
One time I went out on a blind date with a girl at work' We were talking on the phone as she was a supplier for my Company. We got along
so well on the phone, that I asked her out. We met at a restaurant and sat down and began to talk before we ordered. She said, I thought you
would be taller. I responded, I thought you would be prettier. We never saw each other again. What a shame, two honest people.
Some things are best kept unspoken
savage af hahahahhahaha
Absolute correct response
XD
😅😅😅🤣🤣🤣😂😂 I am wondering if that was quick wit or just the truth that you blurted out. In any case it was perfect and funny as hell
I find it childish when a woman tests you, life is tiresome enough without someone consistently annoying you about the little things that don't matter.
Amen!
word.
Its natural, if I really find a girl interesting besides sex it just happens. You have to find out somehow early.
They have to test. Women don't want a weak man they only wanna have sex with strong confident men especially when they got many options
@@53strat55 Older women don't usually do it as much. It's literally the hallmark of youngirl stuff. Girls that are inexperienced and do not know what they want, and who are clumsy and think they're being clever by trying to push your buttons. It's also a surefire sign she's disrespecting you, and that alone is grounds for backing off. Like I get it if you can't help that, or have reservations, trust issues, hot/cold behavior, there's reasons for that, but if you are consciously doing weird shit like ordering yourself drinks from "some guy at the bar" just to test a man, you have LITERALLY tested YOURSELF and failed it. Out of all the things I see women do that makes me want to back off immediately, testing is perhaps the top. And the reason for that being a test in and of itself, is because it's a pattern of behaviour which emerges in really insecure, really childish, and/or really selfish people who clearly don't have what it takes to run a mature relationship properly at all. I have never seen a woman do it who wasn't a disaster to be with.
I hate that dating has become a game. I wish it was like it use to be when two people like each other, they both make it known to each other and make the effort to establish a relationship.
Me too lol
@@CourtneyRyan lies. You too? No. You in fact as a female love the fact that dating is a game where women use and test men, and where men get nothing in return.
@@Mogamishu Cool how you know what she's thinking.. can you teach me?
I agree, I guess there's room for some level of inquisitiveness, but so much of the testing you see on videos (not Courtneys) just feel toxic. It often feels like you are trying to set up the other part to fail.
Options and the privilege that comes with that just make people power hungry
if a woman tests you, never get rattled, always remain calm and confident or even better crack a joke
👏🏼
Yes, crack a joke always make things easier to deal with
Stay the course,🚢 rough seas 🌊 are what make a sailor!
A sense of humor is essential for a happy marriage, it's the best stress reliever (other than sex) there is, helps you keep a perspective and stop taking yourself too seriously.
When your life is a joke simply breathing around them is an icebreaker
I just recently quit talking to this lady. She seemed real interesting, had a good sense of humor, very funny, great at conversating. But after a while she would excessively talk about her ex's and how horrible they treated her and how she never did anything wrong. To me that was a major red flag. I've had bad experiences and I've learned a lot from them based on MY mistakes.
Bullet dodged, brother.
Women lack accountability. That is, in fact, their kryptonite.
It’s never her fault, it’s always the man who make the mistakes even if the woman is the one erroring.
@@ChrisPTY507 what if they talk about bad their treated them but also said alot of the problem was her too. I'm going through this with one right now. She acts like she likes me but keeps making excuses when I ask her out, main one being she's scared to get hurt again.
@@claytoncoker6489 Spin Plates and move on, you don’t want to date a girl with such high levels of insecurity.
I have dated girls like that in the past and the moment you decide to move on is the moment they suddenly want to date and go out with you. She might be doing one of those silly tests to pretend not want to date you because of fear of being hurt while in reality she’s just putting you on hold because she’s dating other dudes and she wants you to be her orbiter, etc.
The juice is not worth the squeeze.
Good. I learned the same thing. When I was younger I used to believe the sob stories.
What I have learned over time. Is that the more heart broken a woman has been in her life through past relationships the more she will do these tests. It's a red flag. She comes with a lot of emotional baggage
Women tend to use words like "Red Flag" and "Boundaries" alot
Bro that's is just the fact. Traumatized and toxic woman will always do the shit test.
Run 🏃
Bro that's the fact. They are emotionally damaged............. Testing on what will suit her and not what will suit her partner. Confused folks that can never be trusted.
@@romans52345-cy3tq if you should watch well they are the most folk with a lot of red flags. Bro the worst mistake you can do as a man in your life is trying to please a woman....
Tests belong in schools, not in potential relationships. Be up front with your expectations and if it works, it works. If it doesn't, keep it moving amicably
Exactly I agree
Yup, I totally agree. The voice of common sense and maturity.
Yeah for sure 💪
Exactly
Relationships are for learning and growth
When a woman test you, she's looking for reasons to leave you not to stay with you.
So true. A woman in love would never ever have the reason to "test".
@Carmen Only ones that don't want to be with you.
@Carmen If a girl is testing you there's a 99.9% Chance she has another dude lined up ready to go.
@@Carmen... it does. They are looking for excuses to not be with men. either that or their personality sucks
It makes sense
Its strange how social media is the thing that is meant to connect us together more easily but is actually making it more difficult to make connections and is driving us apart as a society.
Antisocial media.
It's designed to separate us through jealousy and deception, whilst heightening and praising narcissistic and toxic behaviour. I predict that in 20 years time everyone will be single and natural reproduction will be illegal. All future humans will be created in a lab. And we will only be created to work and obey. There will be no space to live only work. Your living space will be a small pod.
That what social media was created for - a substitute for live relationships.
it's a synthetic connection, nothing real about it
This channel has convinced me that I just need to stay single. Dating and being in a relationship is just too much trouble.
Yeah, marry hand bruh.
@@MeeJunksEavylmao
I know the feeling at times . people today just seem so guarded .
Right?
I have only been in one true relationship for 2 1/2 years. My experience and exposure to certain situations in relationships was quite limited. I went to a work fun event (by myself to the event) and a co-worker said to me, "Oh, you got a kitchen pass?" I said what's that? He said I got permission from my lady friend to go to this event. I cringed and my blood pressure went up by 10 points.
"Toxic and narrow-minded" can easily describe social media in general, not just the manosphere.
For sure haha
Makes me proud that I never had Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram. To those that do, my advice is to delete them
@@duncanmcauley7932 I’m not saying I disagree, but, why would people take advice from someone who’s never used these apps? By definition that person doesn’t know what they’re talking about :p
@@danko4009 I realize it’s a bit of a hot take but it’s just my advice based other’s experiences I’ve read about and articles about research into unhealthy psychological effects of social media. I personally don’t have a very positive view of mainstream social media as a result, though admittedly I do use Snapchat and Quora, and I am here, too. To each their own.
@@danko4009 Although sometimes you don't need to have stuck your hand in a Shark Tank to know it's probably not going to work out great for you.
My ex wife of 20 years continously flirted with other men in front of me then just said she was being nice. She's my ex for a reason.
You a stupido mojoń.20 years...didn't get the pictura?
are you saying 20 years old or 20 years as in 20 years in a relationship? Cause 20 years is a long time for not being able to notice the red flags.
@@bijanadhikari7928 yeah he was married to her for 20 years either he's blind or dumb or both
Beta
You should have checked her aaa
I don’t like when people watch video encouraging them to use these type of toxic behaviors and “tests”. The rest of us have to suffer through it 🤦🏽♂️. Just be yourself and establish boundaries. You’d be surprised how fast you get to know someone when you are yourself and set boundaries.
Alpha: 👶
People who try to become the best version of themselves: 👨
So here is a test I had to endure on a few occasions. The woman I was trying to date would constantly try to get me to be late for things to prioritise her. For example, I would be on the phone to her and tell her I was playing badminton at say 8pm, I would be on the phone to her around 7pm... Well I would need to leave around 7:45 and usually around 7:43 she would bring up a heavy subject... "It has been a tough day, and I am really struggling...". She made me late a few times before I realised what was going on. I started to predict her doing it, and was right each time. I would be at my work, and messaging each other. I would start by saying I only had 30mins break.. and 27 mins later, she would choose then to tell me about a bereavement she was reminded of that hit her hard... So I was like "yeah that sucks. Gotta go". She eventually broke it off citing that I wasn't "emotionally supportive enough". lol.
In my experience, splitting up with someone is tougher than being split up with. Both are horrible, but watching someone cry because they want to be with you... and you don't want to be with them is a worse feeling in my opinion. So when I realised what she was doing, I was delighted when she split up with me. It kinda felt like the trash was taking itself out. I pretended to be a little disappointed, but it was a good day! I didn't miss her one bit.
Fantastic 🤩🙏
It does seem like you were not there for her emotionally. This is coming from a good brother who has long conversations with my sister and my girlfriend. Yet she probably didn't handle it right.
@@precisiont5188 I had to keep my posted comment fairly brief since nobody comes to YT to read novels. However, there are a lot of details I left out. I can confidently say that I made myself available plenty to support her emotionally, but it was never enough. She didn't like being alone, and would do whatever she could to keep people around to the point where she would deliberately interfere with their other obligations i.e. making them late for work. There is only so many times that someone can raise subjects which are clearly bait in order to keep you around, especially timed when that person knows you need to leave. It was manipulative behaviour 100%.
Having been in several relationships, and in another relationship now.. that particular criticism isn't one I have had thrown my way before. My best friend is also my ex (ammicable mutual agreed split), and I confided a lot in her at the time - she concluded fairly quickly that the woman in question was just an attention seeker, and advised me to be on the lookout for red flags. I personally think she wanted a partner that she could walk over and utterly dominate, and I simply wasn't that guy.
She wasn't necessarily a bad person. I mean, she wasn't doing anything malicious and was otherwise a caring an empathetic person. I wish her all the best, but equally I am delighted I got free and clear of her.
@@mockingbeard8465 Sounds like BPD. They shift their personality on a dime to manipulate a response to feed a deep unmeetable need. BPDs usually have a fear on aloneness or abandonment.
My wife started doing this a couple years ago when my work schedule changed. About 15 mins before I have to go on nights she brings up something heavy and I have a horrible drive in... it's only nights and it's pretty consistent. I believe deep down she's trying to Sabatoge my good job (that feeds us all) in order to get me off nights. My only option is to cold shoulder and leave. I'm all ears
If a woman told me I wasn’t her type then I would just say, “Okay, have a nice day.” 😂
Exactly, I don't see how could that be playful. Shooting your shot after her saying that will just prove to her you have no backbone.
@@ozza4496 yes! Exactly!
depending on situation if you are in a bar or something and she has her friends with her you could simply reply with "perfect, your friend is more of my type is she single?"
@@johnsmith-kt7ef haha that’s actually a really good comeback 😆👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Somehow women think that is logical! Lol 😂
'Tests' = playing games = goodbye. When you find the 'right person' no tests are needed.
yes. Thank you.
Agree Totally. When they test you, there's doubts.
agreed
Absolutely agree 👍🏽
Tests seems like she's paranoid about commitment issues. Of course I would understand if she's trying to look out for red flags, but it should all come organically. You shouldn't try to confuse men or make them do a mistake and be the deciding factor. Besides, most people don't show their true personality to someone they like on the first meetup. That stuff develops over time. You won't need to do tests if you're naturally learning them through social interactions and actions.
As a person with aspergers, I never really had a sense of humor as I took things literal. I didn't really understand that I was being tested. I would really go off when girls would say things about my hobbies and interests. But because I have a history of being made fun of for them - and those people were serious, I didn't get the joke. So I guess I often cheated myself out of a good relationship. But thanks to you Courtney, I think I now understand. Where were you all my life?
I’m married for 25 years and found this channel. Appreciate the insights. Much of the content is very useful in marriage as much as the dating game. Principles of relationship remain the same and applicable over time. Many of the topics you cover can get lost over the years. This is a good place to go to touch up the sharpness and focus of any relationship, so you don’t take each other for granted.
Yes, married for 27 years this year. You can never stop gaming your wife, you just have to internalize it. Understanding how to stay in your frame, spike her attraction, not let her get too comfortable and ultimately still be a challenge are crucial for long term success.
I do the same thing!
Indeed, sir. Thanks for the Advice. 🙏🙏
As a vet with a lot of interrogator friends I always saw the tests coming, especially compliance tests. When I was interested in a lady who did those immature things I usually called them out, literally explain what they are doing. I then state my bar (standards) might be too high for them, indicating that those tests are substandard behaviors.
I’m currently married to a beautiful, loving woman who has the same high standards as I, never shit testing each other. We communicate efficiently.
Glad to hear you’re happily married now. Thanks for the advice though to call it out, have a good one
Very well said, sir! I'm really glad that you found a Real Grown Ass Woman who doesn't play these Games.
you're the goat
Testing men is not immature, it's women's nature, you and your mindset and your character is immature. Women test us, deal with it.
@@UnexpectedWonder Grow up kid, women must test us. If you don't like it become gay.
If a woman says jokingly to me, "You don't seem like my type!," I'm gonna to think, I guess you aren't my type either. If a man said that jokingly, he wouldn't be getting a woman that night. I guess, this is why so many women who are in their thirties and forties haven't gotten married yet and if they were stuck in a relationship, it was toxic. Toxicity breeds toxicity.
100% the double standards are so great.
For a women it's considered 'preferences' to have requirements of a man, like heigh, wealth etc when a man states his preferences it's considered, 'discrimination'.
to be honest these women are the the shames of hook up culture... I would respond, thanks, thanks for helping me keep my generosity, i usually go for younger women...
Exactly!!! 👏👏👏 Very well said, sir.
@@lloyd99984 Indeed.
Just work on yourself in a non-toxic way and your life will be good bro
Hello Courtney: This wasn't really a "test", however, it's something which happened to me a number of years ago. I arranged to go to a movie with a lady and she stood me up. As an excuse she said that her boyfriend didn't want her to spend time with another a guy. My reaction was "What, you already have a boyfriend. This changes everything. It this is what you are like then I don't want to know about you."
MEN SHOULD TRY A FEW TEstS ON GIRLS:
1) Ask her "If I make you pay for your own share of expenses such as meals and tickets, what would you say to that?"
2) "Are you easily jealous?"
3) What do you think the role of women is in relationship?
4) What do you bring to this relationship? What's your contribution?
Put her through these hoops, let her start racking her brains
Women can easily reply to these questions. But I said Women, not Girls.
Based
3 is gold
Lol as soon as you will ask this, they will be so triggered
The best test I've ever known is this......for a first date go for lunch, nothing fancy, just soup and a sandwich. Then when the check comes suggest to split it. If there's any hesitation on her part, game over. If she seems annoyed, game over. If she pretends that fine but holds a grudge, game over. If she splits the bill and later suggests a second date then this is the keeper. She's the keeper because she's humble and that'd what this test exposes: whether she's entitled or humble. You have to tests for entitlement because if you don't you're buying yourself a whole heap of trouble. But if she's humble you've won the lottery. Humble women are rare, they're the woman as described in proverbs 31. Test for humility.
The Idea of "testing" someone puts two people on two different levels (testing and being tested) Wich is the opposite of what a healthy relationship should be, because there is no "right or wrong" answer to any of those test. We should only aim to know each other better, and enjoy the trip if we like it the best we can
You got the point. A same answer to a same test, it may be a pass to one girl but a fail to another
A child thinks "ok I'll test if he's "a man" A woman thinks "I'll get to actually know this guy for who he is and see if we're compatible" See the difference? Even if he IS a man, doesn't mean he's fit for her. If he IS compatible, then no shit it's no brainer he's a good fit for her long term.
Either way that won’t change the fact that women shit test tho
No there are definitely wrong answer lol.
I dated a girl in college ("Tan") I really liked. We went on a few dates and I thought it went fairly well. My female friends also seemed to think that we were a good couple. We were officially together for about a month when the "crap tests" (CT) started. We dated unofficially for three weeks or so before making it official. Keep in mind this was in the late 1980's (no cell phones) and I had no idea what a "crap test" was. I wish I had known then what I know now... Anyway, things went well for a month. We were not sexually intimate (I'm one of those guys who wants to make sure this is going to work out first; I don't do the 'one night' or 'FWB' thing) yet and I was wondering how serious she was. This was fine with her because she made it clear she is not a "third date girl" and she did not want to get physical until we were sure we were going to be in a long-term relationship. I picked her up for a nice date I planned and we went out of town (only an hour drive) to a nice restaurant and then to hear a band we both liked. The drive to the restaurant was fine (joking around, conversation, usual stuff I expected from her; she had a magical laugh and a very quick wit). During dinner she seemed fine but she began to withdraw. It was kind of like watching a large bank of clouds cover up a sunny day until all that was left was a steel-gray sky, and you realize how it crept up on you. For the last part of dinner, Tan was increasingly distant and almost cold to me (she'd respond when she realized I was cool with just being quiet; I was used to talking with her about anything and I loved that about her). I asked her the usual "is everything okay" and "did something happen" type of questions, and she blew them off with the "I'm fine" and other conversation ending answers. She was quiet on the way back after dinner and the show, and an hour in the car with icy silence is rough. I'd turn on the radio and she'd ask me to turn it down or off; that was all the communication I got from her. I dropped her off at her place and when I stopped, she got out without waiting for me to get her door (something she said she liked, so I did it) and when I got out, she was already unlocking her apartment door. I walked up to her and she smiled sweetly at me, said "goodnight," and closed the door before I got there. I stood there, surprised and not sure how I felt about that, and then went and got back in my car. I was digging around for a tape (late 1980's, remember?) in the console when I looked up and saw her peeking at me through her window. She quickly disappeared behind the curtains when she saw me looking. I drove back to my apartment and told my roommate that the night was a bust. We ran in overlapping circles and I am convinced that Tan was not cheating on me at the time; if so, I would have heard about it. She usually called me in the evenings and we'd talk about whatever for an hour. She never called that night. I tried to call her the next day and she let it go to her machine (before voicemail...late 1980's) even though it was a time of day when I knew she was almost always home. After that, I stopped trying. She called me three days later and my roomie took the message because I had picked up a few extra shifts at work between semesters. He said she wanted me to call her back "quickly" and she "sounded upset." I decided not to call; she knew where I lived. I got word from a friend that she was "pissed off" at me for something and I told him she can "scratch her mad spot" (a phrase I got from a woman I later dated and married; we were just acquaintances at the time). And that was pretty much that. To this day I still have no idea what caused the change over dinner (or if it was some part of some plan of hers). I had no real contact with her but I was cordial when I saw her around campus or town ("hey, what's up?" kind of thing while passing by). I ran into her a year later working at a video store of all places and she had a ring on her left hand. I checked out (she was the only clerk) and I was polite but distant. I saw the ring and said "congratulations" with a friendly smile. She barely responded sufficiently to complete the transaction. I have not seen her since and I learned a lot about (what I now know to be) the crap test from her. I don't recommend that young men put up with crap tests; I think they should just smile and walk away.
Damn dude. Bravo. I would never tolerate childish behavior like hers. It's not your job to figure her out. She was supposed to come forward to you and communicate her feelings. Her thinking this was a good test, actually made her into a burden. I'm glad you found a better woman after
@@spikeboy101, Thanks, brother. The one I married (the acquaintance at the time I was "dating" Tan) is 180 degrees different. We've been together for over 32 years, married for almost 30, and we have two great kids and a good life. What you said is true; don't settle, don't put up with the childish crap, find someone who relates to you for real, wants the same things you do, and wants to build a future with you. "Tan," as you said, not only turned herself into a burden but I lost all trust in her. That is something women don't think about when they decide to "crap test" men. When a good man loses trust in a woman, she could be the hottest woman in the world but to him, she's just another object in the environment. Peace to you, brother, and peace to all who read this.
@@DrSigma24-7 Nothing but cheers and high fives to you brother hahaha. Your story actually helped get some hope about my recent disaster with a date. I'm eventually going to find a good person who fits me and likes me for who I am and I can't wait to spend my time with her and have beautiful moments together
@@spikeboy101 , Thank you for the positive feedback! If a disaster in my past can encourage another man for the future, more power to you! Don't settle, don't second guess yourself, and remember; do not take criticism or condemnation from someone you would not go to for advice. Strong men like you need to lift up other men and they become strong in return. Lift up good women and praise them for their positivity and their shared view of a solid future. What about "Tan" and all of the others out there who cause problems? Well, leave them be without a thought. Shake the dust of them from your feet. Let Chad have them. When they are 40 or 50 or so, they'll figure out where they screwed up. But that's okay; someone has to take care of all those available cats....😊
Makes me wonder if it might have been something you said during dinner, maybe intended as a joke, but something that she was sensitive to, that might have been a deal-breaker. I've done this myself a bunch, of course, I'm a goblin, so who am I to judge anyway- but, maybe something to contemplate for the future.
I have been watching videos like this because my wife had been rapidly progressing down this slope of flirting with other men in front of me while in Italy on vacation… for my birthday or all occasions, and kept taking advantage of my religious convictions when it comes to marriage (I am a Catholic); so these videos have been super helpful in getting myself out of the continued gaslighting I’ve been subjected to for 17 years.
Thanks to channels like this I’m more aware now, and took my top 4% earned income, business owner ass someplace else where I’ll be appreciated more. Thank you!
The best thing to do is to communicate rather than throwing these tests. Crap tests are a double edge sword. To me personally I rather know a little bit about her and her knowing a little bit of me before throwing the crap tests.
fellas if a girl is giving you all these tests, focus on yourself homie. You can find out if you're compatible by literally just talking and not giving people tests
Exactly lol
That's a cute theory but in reality females don't think like that.
Women come in 2 different wrappings... either she was spoiled by her daddy or damaged. And sometimes it can be a mix
well sometimes people lie, so we really do need to see how they actually behave and what they do, actions speak louder than words, their actions must be congruent with their words, just talking is not enough.
I agree, problem is there is deceivers & women claim they want to avoid them yet women who do tests are in a sense showing that same deceit, would they do that to others? it shows her weak insecurity in the relationship, if One tested girls or ask for a 2nd wife w/o them knowing which is allowed how they react?
If she tests. She's gone. No time in my life for people like that.
why? have you seen what kind of guys are out there? i think some tests are needed, like testing your humor/sensibility and you should take it as a sign that the girl doesnt want to waste time on the wrong person, just like you.
@@bullet3602 facts
@@bullet3602 That is funny because no girl I tried has ever passed a humor shit test. They are all "crazy" as the video describes :)
@@longssa838 what's the humor shit test?
Amen to that
Had a waitress that was hitting on me at a restaurant I used to go to about 2 years ago when travelling for work. She always was the first to come up to me and serve my table, would talk a lot asking about my job, etc.. Then one day she texted her boyfriend to come over to the bar and French kissed him while making eye contact with me.
That... doesn't even get under my skin actually. It's so far off the spectrum that I immediately realised I'm dealing with someone fit for clinical treatment and its nothing personal. Because I initially assumed this was a shit test to make me jealous.
And I just lost attraction, instantly. I'm not into all that polyamory, voyeurism, exhibitionism, experimental sex, and other narcissistic bullshit. I even lost my appetite as well because of it. I couldn't swallow my food for a few seconds. Its not personal for me either. It just disgusts me on a visceral level. Probably a similar reaction to your average person if they had witnessed bestiality. It's a reflex you can't really help.
I didn't go back there again. Even though there was another waitress that seemed kind of nice but always got pushed out of the way by this other one so never served my table. I prefer to eat my food in peace. It's what I went there for in the first place.
Ever occured to you maybe she wasn´t hitting on you in the first place ? Just being nice, as in its her job, part of the tip is being nice.
@@nerifterafrnam4682 Still weird, when she always go to the same person in the restaurant, but I agree with you . It´s their job to look good and taking orders ( with the hope to earn some decent tips) . Nevertheless this French kiss move had a manipulative nature in this case , well yeah.. some women deserve a good treatment in asylum , like her.Peace out.
I will always appreciate how Courtney takes these really toxic discussions and transforms them into sensible, wholesome and applicable advice :)
*waters them down to a feminine level wherein they lose all weight.
Lol😂
My mom taught me how to be a simp... because it's gentlemanly... but the truth is that she wanted to train me so that she can use me and command me as she sees fit. Guys... remember, even your own mother will train you for her own benefit. Treat women like people... with decency... and no special treatment.
"she wanted to train me so she can USE me and COMMAND me as she sees fit"?
Good luck in your dating future
@@ilai7893 Good luck with yours.... YOU must be a SIMP... hope you find yourself...
All mothers do that to certain degrees. But look at it this way, she's essentially training you how to handle and live with a potential girlfriend/wife. Your potential girlfriend/wife and your mother may exhibit some of the same exact tendencies and say the same exact things. It's been told to women for years and even my own mother has said this to me: how a man treats his mother is an indication of how he'd treat you. Or in a guy's case, how you treat your mother is how you'll treat your girlfriend/wife.
If she needs to test you, that shows insecurity, dishonesty and lack of understanding on her part.
On the surface I understand it seems harsh for a women to test but that’s really the only way for a women to see who you are to weed out the insecure, emotionally unstable,thirsty guys and find the best suited man for her.
Countney, it's been two weeks since I found your channel, but to tell you the truth I'm completely bewildered by your personality. You're a girl with a really high character. Congratulations, I wouldn't believe such a woman existed.
Courtney always gives big hearts when you praise her! Go girl!
Thanks for your honest approach to relationships...finally a realistic, respectful voice of reason in the Jungle! Manipulation has no place in the affairs of the Heart....
The "congruency test" is one we should be doing in the other way too...
Is like pay attention to the actions and not what they say
Agreed but us getting that wrong didn’t come from an evolutionary last where that was a potential death sentence like it was for them.
Which is why women evolved to just naturally run these tests. Men have to consciously be aware of it and do it too and thankfully we are starting to adapt
@@lordofgingers right. It's much more dangerous for women if the guy turns out be untrustworthy or unsafe.
The congruency test is even more important for men because of how each gender lies. Men lie women, but women lie to themselves. You can confront a man about his lies because they’re usually obvious and tangible. It’s hard to confront a woman because she has probably convinced herself she hasn’t done anything wrong.
@@strategic1710 🎯
@@beautifulspirit7420 Not any more. That was once true, but now, women have their own money, they are Liberated and Educated, and contraception is reliable, safe and free. The old excuses no longer apply. Nice try, but no cigar.
With all these tests and efforts going around (when it comes to current relationships), I wonder if it remains anything to enjoy after all this. These cringey games will be the end of everything.
Drrr-aaaaa-maaaaa~!!!
MGTOW - Sandman.... your welcome
People are more concerned with not getting played than enjoying themselves. That’s the truth.
Getting played for these people means the end of their life
It's not enjoyable - not anymore. It's always a test, some buIIsh!t test, or a competition, or a way to find a weakness and take advantage of it. Today's Western woman does not want a relationship to make a life with someone; They want a talking point and bragging rights in front of their friends; they don't want to feel "left out". And when they get bored with you, they will drag your ass through court and take everything they can from you. Why? Because they want talking points and bragging rights in front of their friends; They don't want to feel "left out".
@@johnarmenta2199 I think a lot of that stems from their initial heartbreak. All this stuff they do is a very unhealthy way to cope but it’s how they do
Being a person of integrity may not be complex, but it's not easy either.
I love your novel approach to the TESTS. It’s a much better perspective than the ones in the social media articles. Thank you clarifying this subject.
The only games I like playing are scrabble, cards, horseshoes... I have no time to waste on an individual who likes play mind games. I'm just too busy and respect myself too much to put up with childish poop.
THIS! 🙌🏼
All the red pill and similar stuff has always felt like taking a few sound concepts rooted in psychology and then adding on a whole bunch of crazy and weird to stand out and get attention for more views or to sell a product/program. Hence why there's a lot of stuff you can see where these guys are coming from mixed with a lot of "What did I just read/hear?" A lot of guys, especially more anxious and/or introverted ones, would love to have some sort of foolproof set of instructions to win over women and spare them the pain of rejection so there's a big audience for this stuff. In reality, a lot of these aren't women a reasonable guy would want to win over.
A lot of what keeps a girl around (interested in you) is innately counter intuitive.
As any male with logical thinking, it doesn't make sense to continue to want someone if they have just rejected her or stood his ground after trying to "play" with his emotions (shit test)
So explaining to men, woman's behaviour to increase their dating chances appears bizarre.
This video brought up SO much stuff from my past relationship. My ex-would test EVERYTHING about me whenever she could. I found out later on that she enjoys destroying relationships, and would always test me, all the time. the saying "NO" to things and "look after my kids" (Her SISTER'S kids, mind you) and saying what the other person wants to hear stood out too me the most. Good Advice !
When it comes to testing your relationships and testing your potential mates, word of advice don't do it. If you do, you are sabotaging any potential relationship you might have or currently in. Plus it can come across, that you are a passive aggressive communicator to the other person. Just have a honest conversation with the other person, and if your not attracted to them after that then move on. If you are, invite them out at a later date. Any relationship is going to get tested threw natural conflict. Testing your relationship or a potential one with someone is bringing unnecessary conflict into it, damaging it in the long run.
One other thing, let your relationships develop naturally and don't rush in to them. It will be disastrous for both parties involved.
Thank you so much for your videos. I must say, lately, you are much more comfortable talking on camera which I really like and it takes away a lot of unnecessary disruption and helps the concentration while watching.
You are so right! I ran “for the hills!” Now I’m single, and relieved. Happily single. 😎
😂😂
I actually don't know what the idiom "run for the hills" means, but the way she says it each time in this video, i just love it and instantly get the image of me going to the himalayas.
How to win every test they throw at you? On a personal level, can't vouch for others (there is not one truth), five letters MGTOW, I walked away from it all and focused on developing myself for no one else but myself.
And as a result of that the last three years of my life have been the best yet. Physical, financial, emotional.
Turning my back towards relationships, dating, meeting up, honestly has been the best decision I made in my life.
Not saying it will work for you, just telling what worked for me.
Hello Courtney, finally all caught up on your videos. Thanks for preparing us for these tests and have a good day.
Of course!! Thank you! 👏🏼❤️
This topic’s been on my mind for a minute now, thanks for bringing it up Courtney.
Happy to do it!
@@CourtneyRyan hey courtney i think you are suitable to answer this question cause you are somewhat different fr other dating coaches.
Question - DO you think its acceptable for a guy to tell you some of his problems? In the early stage of dating
2nd are you the type who is okay for a more deeper and logical conversation or are you the type that wants to talk about ilogical fun most of the time? This is also during 1st or 2nd date by the way. Thanks.
ive seen your videos from day 1. thank you for staying relevant and posting more!
The “crazy” sound effect at 13:10. 😂 😂
These “sh*t tests” are less formal than how I would go about figuring out my compatibility with people. I prefer asking questions just like an interview. I’ll ask my questions which correlate to my values as that’s how I’m more comfortable instead of setting up a series of tests.
Best/healthiest advice/guidance on the internet! Thank you Courtney!
Thank you, my friend! ❤️
With the compliance thing…I was recently having breakfast in a hotel (where she was staying, I’d just joined her for breakfast) with a Russian girl I was interested in, and we’d both finished. She asked me to go and get her a croissant (they were free). My first thought was “get it yourself”, because I don’t think that’s the kind of thing a woman (or man) would ask in the West, when she could get it herself just as easily.
But I thought maybe there’s a cultural difference there, and I didn’t want to rock the boat over something minor, so I grabbed her the croissant while getting myself a drink, so I didn’t seem like I was just fetching and carrying for her (good thinking, Batman!)
I later spoke to a Russian friend who said that that kind of thing, ie men fetching and carrying for women, does go on in Russia, especially amongst more old fashioned people. So I think I probably made the right choice.
Lesss goo
Good point about the cultural aspects. Sometimes women instinctively want to know if the man can or is willing to provide for her, like when she is pregnant and vulnerable.
Really? You were about to be mad over her asking you to bring her a croissant, but didn't because you thought it was a Russian cultural thing?
It's a gender role thing, to show a willingness to protect & provide as man, not to mention it's a matter of romance. Why wouldn't you wanna do simple tasks for her?
I'm sure glad my boyfriend brings me things, carries my bags, does simple tasks for me, buys me little things, and does so with a smile on his face, love in his eyes, and a pep in his step, which is one of the many reasons why I love him with all my heart. 🥰♥️
@@MiaRosenbloom +1 💓
Watching this young smart woman has restored my faith in women that there are still good ones out there ! Thanks for the advice !
Great video as always, Courtney. Here's my two cents:
Honestly, I resent the whole concept of "tests". If it's one-sided, it implies that the person testing you is higher than you in some hierarchy. The way it is with teachers, employers, higher-ups. And if it's two-sided, it turns the whole relationship into a game of Among Us for two.
Personally I believe relationships should have mutual respect as one of their core tenets and secretly or not so secretly testing partners undermines that respect. Why even be in a relationship if you're going to need to test them from the get-go? It's one thing to be wary, but to make your partner jump through hoops to prove themselves to you - I'm sorry, who are you that I have to prove myself to you?
I've been lucky to find a partner with whom the process of determining how compatible we are doesn't need any shit tests. We're just honest and open with each other about what we want and what we're ready to give. And we have at least some basic level of trust in both each other and one's own ability to select a partner.
There's something I remember from school - there are teachers who grade from (converted to US system) A to F (have high expectations) and there are those who grade from F to A (have terrible expectations at first). Now, the former group of teachers tended to be more relaxed and while not everyone would get a straight A easily, people were more motivated to get good grades. The more critical teachers rarely had a kid in heir class raising above a C or B and just brought down the mood with their "F until proven otherwise" attitude. And while at school you shouldn't expect to pass with zero effort, I find such an attitude (of the ever suspicious teacher, I mean) in relationships disrespectful. Like, of course you shouldn't tolerate bad or lacking behavior from a partner, but don't start with the expectation that it is already pre-determined to happen and you're just laying traps and conducting tests to catch them in the act.
Very well said. 👊👊👏👏👏
Well initially there usually is a hierarchy and women are above men - we want them to start dating us, start having sex with us so we have to win their approval. It's only when we either increase our value or date someone lower than ours that we as men are higher than or equal to them. It pains me to say this, but women have intrinsic value and men have to prove themselves.
Testing can be fun if it's feisty and playful and you've got some quick witted comebacks & jokes. But if it's serious manipulation and power plays, it's probaly not worth the effort.
@@mjkittredge Naw...The intrinsic value of a Woman in this regard is only in how Society views it. Women have innate value to a Society because they can produce Children. Men don't, but Men used to be valued for all the aspects that we bring to the table. Society is built to help Women survive. Men by and large can survive just fine. There's a balanced trade off. Nowadays, that's not being respected.
"we don't have time for these games" 😂 that's pretty much the summary of this channel in the best way. As long as you're considerate, you don't need to worry. Always be growing, yes, but people being crazy is on them, not you.
“What even is that” had me lol 😂!!!
My favourite test was the "What am I thinking about?" I would always tell them what I wanted to do to them in a sexual way, or if they perform certain sexual acts, or what they looked naked. They asked and I told them...truthfully. They stopped asking.
I wouldn't like it if you said things like that to me. I'm a nice girl.
@@carolinelynch2823 then don't ask lmfao
I feel all women (and men) should receive education about female psychology, so they would better understand themselves. They would also become more aware of their illogical behavior and adjust accordingly. Or at a minimum men would be better prepared to engage with a creature so different from themselves.
How about instead of them constantly testing us, they actually act like normal humans for once with integrity?
Integrity?Ha!!🙃
How do normal.humans act? I have actually never met one.
haha
I agree, problem is there is deceivers & women claim they want to avoid them yet women who test are showing that same deceit, would they do it to others - Big Q & why? it shows her weak insecurity in the relationship, if One tested girls or ask for a 2nd wife w/o them knowing which is allowed how they react?
I am so guilty of number 1. When I first met this woman (online) before I developed any romantic feelings for her (which I did after we got to know each other; but before I even saw her); we would flirt, banter, tease, argue/debate (nicely of course), etc. But as soon as I developed feelings for her, my demeanor, or approach completely changed. I put her on a pedestal, would always agree with her, became a "cheerleader' (her words - which ticked her off to no end; or she would tell me things like, "I DON'T WANT a girlfriend!", "I loved how we used to talk.", etc). But for some unknown reason I became a SIMP. Even though when we first met we got along great, talked about a lot of things, and not just "general, everyday" topics. I had confidence, there was definitely chemistry, etc.
I don't know if it's a built in sabotage gene that some men have where once you develop feelings for someone you think you need to become Mr. Boy Scout.
Love your videos. Great advice and insight.
I love these techniques. They encourage stupid, manipulative people to come together. Then it’s way easier to see who to avoid.
Been manipulated at my job last year, couldn’t believe it!
Great content. Your delivery is clear concise and honest.
thank you for all the advise, Courtney, listening to you is like having a female friend, that I never had. Thank you. By the way, what you said about women testing men, it is interesting. We as men know that even our mothers have tested us in that way. Or, at least, I have talked to several friends and they all had experienced that as well. So I guess it goes beyond being a potential partner.
Could you explain That further cause it seems really interesting
The thing is if you have suffered narcissistic abuse and say they are joking but really mean to harm you and your self esteem. That's why it's hard for some to accept that you say it's a joke when jokes in the past emotionally compromised. But I guess everything changes with time and i guess it's all about context.
Lots of respect to you for addressing this, a lot of women would actually deny that this even happens 🙌
Idk about the fitness test though.. shouldn't it be deemed unattractive if a woman openly says "you're too short" etc when you go up to her? Why would a guy want to put up with that? Even if it is a joke, is it even cool to joke about something like that?
Hell no you walk away
@@kennynopachi8864 Exactly, I feel like Courtney may have advised us poorly on that point even though most of her advice is good
A considerate girl would never joke about shortness with a short guy -- she must have an example in mind of a taller guy than her
@@kamalsmusic -one thing I learned is if a girl tests u like that she may be seeing if being short would affect you and if it doesn`t u pass. To be fair if a girl just outright disrespects you is one thing but if she teases you with anything don`t let it affect you. She is just seeing how okay you are with things. If you're short, bald or whatever just own it. When she sees your okay with those things her attraction usually grows.
Yea it’s so strange bc men often joke with women and it hurts their feelings and somehow when the roles are like this, its not ok but when a woman does it, the man must never react ?
Really apprciate you just cutting through all the crap with this one Courtney. Great video for men and women to pay attention to with the message be a mature adult rather than a child playing games.
if she would of delt with some extra detail it could add to perspective though.
Courtney, I think it's only a matter of time before you have millions of subscribers. You are so classy, sensible, honest....the list goes on. Brilliant video! I always just be myself, don't play games, be honest, etc, but the reality is lots of people (women and men) will play foolish games. It's only smart, classy women like you who don't play games.
Also, hot 😉
@@jeremiahwhite7265 Yeah I agree on that one
I got that famous "sorry... I've been busy" line after 3 days of no text, no answer calls. But almost every bullet point Courtney laid out had led up to this famous line. Glad I saw it for what it was, just wish I would have seen it sooner.
Narcissistic behavior move on quickly
Being able to take a joke is literally the biggest thing I feel like, after all you are suppose to have fun! Goofing around with someone you like is really awesome.
Well it depends on if the joke is over the top. If someone makes a joke you don't like, you know you are not a match
I feel like you have to be in a pretty healthy state of mind
I really hope you’re right Courtney. A lot of us are jaded and super cautious at this point.
I wish I could have a chat with you that is purely friendly and just to discuss this topics. I have spent years learning about this and from personal relationships I had I understand what it’s really about.
Some of this stuff is just the red flags I look for. I’m a single man and I have got to be careful on any potential relationships. I love your perspective and if I could help explain it rationally and in a more polite way.
I’m so ready to meet an intelligent woman that’s worth my time. I’m older now and I know what I’m looking for but will never settle again just because I’m desperate.
Thanks for making this video and I have ideas about ways to help all people with this kind of discussion. 🙏
Courtney seems so sweet and reasonable. I love that she's against the manipulation techniques. Combine that with being physically attractive and her cute voice, where can I find a woman like that? Some of these test questions, whether he passes or not, will long be remembered by the man I don't think any form of verbal manipulation or testing is required.
When a woman tests me, I use her test on her and see how she reacts. If she doesn't like it, I'll ask her why she did it to me.
The dominance test is an interesting one. It actually is a great trait, to have from a guy's standpoint. From what I have seen, a lot of women fall for the, "Badass", or the, "Player", because of this trait. They show they are flattering, but in control.
The difference with the good guy in respect to the dominance test is he is just being masculine, making wise decisions, and giving a clear direction with everything going on amongst you and the lady, in decisions, etc, whereas, the Badass and player, over time, reveal that their true colors are just to use this trait to control you.
Really appreciate your take, Courtney. I think people test because they don't feel safe being straight forward. In the environment I grew up in (asian american family from Taiwan/China), you were straight forward with your words and intentions or you demonstrated to the person in front of you were a coward and had no principles; we only loosened up after we got to know each other over time.
Like always, great info great video Courtney.
9:39 "Being a guy who can take a freaking joke"
Yeah, and then, on the opposite side, girls be mad if you make a joke yourself. We must be the one who make them laugh but then they can't take it and start calling you a jerk, sexist, or feel so attacked that they take out the whole "Indipendent, strong woman" thing.
Let the jokes be jokes
And any joke an unattractive man will tell will automatically be seen as not funny and offensive
@@johnnythekid4601 do not expect Courtney "SIMP for me" Ryan to respond to that. She can not handle the ugly truth.
I think a lot of this advice always goes both ways lol I know a lot of women are guilty of that as well
@@CourtneyRyan basically finding out if your sense of humor is compatible is essential. If you don't find each other funny, entertaining and interesting any potential is dead in the water.
Not all women are offended at jokes. Some of them have a great sense of humor.
14:22 when she asks if I’m going to spend time with her tonight instead of playing Warzone with the squad.
Back to the gulag I go!
I really appreciate the way you've been in that video Courtney. You seem to have a deep understanding of the male and female psyche. That's great. And you are a gentle, sensitive and very special lady.
Flirting while playing a bar game is soooo much fun. It really does build attraction with the competition - see if he’ll really compete and see if he’s a good sport as well as holding up flirty banter. Really reveals character. But I never thought of it that way til watching this. It’s just fun.
Courtney, your channel has helped me grow a lot. My last relationship damaged my trust in all women. She cheated on me while I was deployed and that happened to over half my unit. Your videos have helped me become open again and less cynical. Thank you.
Thank you for your service.
One of the main things I do is just ask for women about how many long term relationships they’ve been in and how long they’ve lasted. A girl that has always been in a long term relationship normally is psychologically a lot more healthy than someone who jumps from partner to partner.
12:11 I love the way you described being the dominant man (not aggressive like you said). As a man, when you take the lead you shouldn't see her as a subordinate, but as a partner. You value her input and take it into account when making a decision. As a leading man you should be the column of strength she can rely on and trust. And, sometimes in life is all the way around. She's the one who going to give you the strength to go on. Would you call that weak? I think NOT. Just because she's not the dominant partner it doesn't mean she's weak. It just means she's part of the team.
Like all of your videos, great delivery and content!
My Ex-fiance used to put me through some of these "tests". Finally had enough and dumped her narcissistic ass. Ghosted her for about 8-9 months and would not take her calls. I was considered a "nice" guy back then, but even I can only take so much of these stupid games. Married to my current wife for 25 years now. She's been nothing but respectful to me from the beginning. I don't play games with her, she does not play games with me.
When she says don't worry about him were just friends and then found them together in bed. Testing my reaction to that isn't a good impression for me or anybody. Such a turnoff.
Dafuq :))
I'm not sure that was actually a test.
That’s not a test my guy she made you a fool
reaction??? really? Dude.😥
@@Good-Enuff-Garage 😂😂
I love your channel and appreciate your work.
Another great video. Thank you I really enjoy your videos so much
Ah another wonderful upload by my favorite ASMR artist
Courtney, I'm impressed simply by the number of comment replies you've made. Holy moly. You're putting in the work to build your channel by fostering connections and that's the greatest sign, next to delivering valued content, that your channel will thrive.
Thank you so much, Javier! I appreciate it 😊
@@CourtneyRyan
Well done Amiga, that's how you do it. 👍
Many friends require at times a little clarification and always appreciate your direct feedback.
Super great video ! Thank you very helpful and I like that cool multi colored ring you are wearing
So, several years ago I became obsessed with CZcams videos featuring pick up artists (like 33 Secrets, and others...). My interest was less about improving my game and more about the applied psychology inherent in the videos. They were fascinating. Some were absurd. Some were toxic. Some were intriguing. But all were informative. If you ever read this comment, Courtney, I would love to see your reaction to some these videos. I love your content. You are both beautiful and wise. Keep up the good work. 👍
As an 18 yr old male I am afraid I will have a hard time getting a women because it's not them who will test me but it will be they who will be flinged out of option on basis of my standards of a prestine feminine women when I am accomplished enough. Courtney it's nice of you to encourage women to be good humans and practice their true beautiful nature.
At least for me, I am not someone who wants a "perfect" woman. For me, I want Misses Right. I want someone who is not afraid of getting dirty in the garden. I want someone who can put on a nice bikini, rock it, and still be tough enough to go skiing up in the mountains some time. Toughness is a quality I look for in women.
Jesus Christ, dude you're 18 and you're already in this section of youtube? You should be outside more often and do what 18 year olds are doing. When my brother was 18, he would come home every weekend with a girl. You should be experimenting. Get some experience. Finding someone at your age shouldn't be that hard unless you're one of those super socially awkward dudes.
At 18 you should have several years of experience already?
Things I've learned in life, and this doesn't just apply to relationships. This applies to everyone you come in contact with.
I understand that we should be able to take a joke, but at the same time.. what we tolerate teaches people how to respect us. I've had friendships in the past that I've ended where the basis of that friendship was always being the butt of that person's joke.
Same goes with relationships, where I was with someone who always presented me... talked about me with her friends as if I'm nothing more than a joke.
So, I don't tolerate a lot of jokes about me anymore. It's not cute. I'd rather have people walk on eggshells around me than be the laughing stock of the group.
Very educational Courtney. I’m still learning a 77. Thankyou
Agreed. It's not malicious and it's a natural response. But how a guy deals with it can show his emotional maturity. What worked for me was integrity and be consistent with my dealings in life.