Girlfriend Gave Me an STD (Should We Stay Together?)
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- čas přidán 21. 10. 2021
- Girlfriend Gave Me an STD (Should We Stay Together?)
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I always thought having a baby with someone I didn’t love was a worst nightmare but this takes the cake
no question. child support is 18 years but this is forever.
Nah it can go to 24 or 27 becuz of college
Highly recommend saving sex for marriage. All the reasons.
@@camxdidxthat Idk man I'm hopeful for a cure
Imagine the first person you have sex with gives you an STD..... idk what I would've done to her smh
While serving as a combat medic in the early 2000s I contracted hiv during a combat mission, a closeted(gay) marine was wounded by an ied, I sliced my hand open while beating his heart for him internally. I have since fathered two children naturally and I have been married for 20 years. I test negative and my wife never contracted the disease due to modern medication and science. Thank god for my wife. I live a normal life and take one pill a day.
Dude that Is Insane, are you blue Side or green?
Royal Marines
Thank you for saying this. Many people in the comment thread would benefit from such insight....But what I want to know is, how does one slice their hand whilst pumping a heart? Was there shrapnel?
Thank you for your service to our country. It is so good to hear of you doing well. GOD bless you and your family.
Thank you for your service, and thank you for being so candid about your HIV status.
People like you help keep this illness destigmatized and give hope that people can live a good and healthy life.
All the best to you and your family.
I can not imagine what this man is going through. The very first person he had sex with gave him HIV. 😢 Man, this is sad!
the man never gotta have sex again
Don’t believe the hype. Hes not telling the full story. He was probably in a homosexual relationship and that’s where he got it
I know someone who caught HIV from a girl on his prom night and died from AIDs. It happens. Abstinence is best.
@@ceasarnunez5652women can get it too. It’s not an exclusively gay thing. Some men bang chicks and dudes. Also sharing needles can get you that.
@@rayannwashington7568 No disrespect to the guy, but that’s what he told you. Do you know how many people are in the closet living an alternate lifestyle? It is possible, but the probability is very very low for a man to catch that from heterosexual intercourse. The statistics don’t lie.
I may be really cynical but what? This guy has never seen a traditional doctor only his dad who is some sort of homeopath. His dad was running "diagnostics" and that's how he found out he has HIV? Then his parents tell him this is God punishing him, break up with the girl and pretty sure they can heal that HIV completely with some oils or whatever his dad does. There is a part of my brain saying, "Does this dude even have HIV?? Is this his parents way of ending a relationship they don't approve of?" Then the other part of my brain is saying "But his girlfriend's a nurse, surely she got a proper diagnosis!" But then, what the hell kind of nurse is she? It just sounds freaking weird. I wish Dr. John had got more on how he was diagnosed. There is something off about this whole thing.
Exactly - there are so many holes in the story and Dr John clearly doesn't have the knowledge about HIV treatment today to see them. Conventional treatment is pretty advanced now and can give people a normal life expectancy and prevent them from infecting others. The caller did sound kinda slow, but no one in their right mind would opt for 'alternative medicine' (aka 'a death sentence') instead. It makes me wonder what kind of 'nursing' he's studying.
SOMETHING is up with that. Did the dad make this up to control his son?
Bingo.
I just wrote something similar above.
Homeopathy is a 100% scam. That part made me doubt the HIV diagnosis too lolll
Dr. John thinks this guy isn't taking this as seriously as he should be, but I believe he is deeply traumatized and doesn't know what to do.
I think John understood that as well, he was being very straight and blunt to break through the trauma/denial.
Right he doesn’t have peers he can talk to about this to tell him his life is shaking up
He's definitely in the denial phase. He's saying it, but I don't think he's accepted its real yet.
Its called immaturity.
Deeply traumatized and absolutely unprepared/unequipped to handle the circumstance he now finds himself in. Sheep get sheared, unfortunately.
If the guy who called in checks the comment section, understand that there is a 99.99% chance your father didn't "accidentally" come across your medical information. As someone who works on IT I can assure you that you have to intentionally dig into a computer to find information. It just doesn't pop up in your face unless it's a virus or unwanted ad.
I thought the same thing…
It sounds like he was doing his annual check up at the facility and his dad is probably his doctor.
Relax, it's his dad. Any caring father would do the same, especially if the son didn't want to open up about it and let you know what's up but you clearly know something is wrong.
@@sam805236 if the dad was aware his son went to the facility but didn’t tell the dad why.. I can see where the dad would go look it up to find out and then say he accidentally came across it to try and salvage some trust
@@sam805236 There are laws to prevent any practitioner from looking up records unrelated to providing direct patient care. This sounds shady.
When you think you've had a really bad day, just come home and watch Dave Ramsey and John Delony talk to people about their problems....
It's why I come here. These calls are insane!!!!
That is right
Makes my day worse
Watch Financial Audit with Caleb Hammer. Definitely gives you a view that there are many people worse off
Or if you think you have problems, or you have relationship problems, just watch these and realize you actually don’t have it so bad 😅
Poor guy sounds so immature and brainwashed. Isolated. Parents sound VERY weird. He doesn't seem to be able to make the slightest decisions on his own. Cannot believe he hasn't sought real medical treatment. Incomprehensible.
He is a nursing student, so I’m sure he knows how serious his diagnosis is… it’s possible he is focusing so much on the relationship because it’s easier than facing the fact that his life will be changed for ever. I feel so bad for him 😔
That's a good point. He's scared and directing his attention to anything but his diagnosis.
I wonder if he knows that a relationship and procreation is impossible with anyone ever again.
@@hadenanderson563 I wouldn’t say that. There are some good meds out there, and there are precautions you can take.
It does make things much harder though.
@@hadenanderson563 This is incorrect. With medications he can bring his viral load to virtually undetectable. He can even safely conceive without transmitting the virus. But he has to be compliant with medications. Sad situation but it can be overcome.
@@hadenanderson563 actually the risk through the sperm of it causing HIV in a fetus is pretty small
I am so happy John pushed seeing a real doctor. So heart broken for this guy.
Agreed. His "doctor" sounds very sketchy.
Could it be possible that his parents, the dad doctor who "found out" is this not true.....dude please go see a real doctor by yourself and bring your girlfriend.
Something is fishy here
@@ThomisticAmerican13FOX That’s an interesting thought.
I am too however I feel like it wasn't enough.
The problem with modern pseudoscience culture is that they're not just offering their treatments as an adjunctive
Many people in these fields like naturopathy and homeopathy are actively advocating for anti-vaccination across the board. Actively advocating for a complete abstainment from modern evidence-based medicine
You rarely ever see these people support both the use of traditional medicine and what they offer.
Understand that this individual may die of untreated HIV because his parents are making money off of pseudoscience and may be able to convince him to abandon modern medicine. That's disgusting.
So it's not enough to just say "Well since it's a really serious disease go ahead and use traditional medicine.".
@ThomisticAmerican13FOX my thoughts exactly. I think his dad is trying to “teach him a lesson”
When the only man I ever had sex with my husband of almost 30 years cheated on me and got caught by the woman’s husband he confessed to me. I was a stay at home Mom of 2 kids. I asked my then husband if he used a condom he said no because the woman was “very clean”. She went back to her second husband and I divorced mine. ANYONE who puts my life at risk doesn’t deserve me. I went to all of my doctor’s and had ever type of testing known to man to make sure I was healthy to raise my babies. Yes, it was embarrassing as hell but I needed to know what I was dealing with. This “girlfriend” of yours who “didn’t know” she had HIV sounds fishy. His parents sound fishy. Go to real doctor’s who don’t know your family nor girlfriend and get tested for everything.
100%%%%
The girl definitely messing around and freaked out she got caught in this way
@user-qz4ji7dw3bhis health is his responsibility. Who has unprotected sex with a girlfriend???
@@Lelough_who wants to be with someone with hiv? it was a trap
Well said… you did the right thing and there is nothing embarrassing about getting tested, you needed to know ❤ Best wishes
My sister got an STI with her first sexual partner back in the late 90’s. Ever since that experience, she always had her partners show her the actual documented paperwork confirming their status before they proceeded with sex. Sure it’s not romantic but this is the world we live in. Fearful misinformed people will not self disclose and we rely too much on their word.
She’s very smart. I’ve asked intimate partners the same. One flipped out on me because he got tested and said everything was clear but I asked to see the paperwork. I needed the confirmation for peace of mind but he felt it meant I didn’t trust him and it led to a big argument. It made me feel bad that he felt that way. IMO why wouldn’t he show it if he went through the trouble of going to the doctor etc. Who knows but wasn’t worth the risk for me.
if your sister wasn't nasty & promiscuous she wouldn't have to ask for "paperwork" & would settle down with one man like an honorable woman.
@@lilarose9348 Ego. Clearly he didn't care about your own health.
Maybe don’t have sex with strangers & this won’t be an issue
@@Joel-pg4yi No he did not or my own peace of mind.
As someone who works in IT... I would bet my career that his dad was stalking his information because you don't just accidentally find his medical information doing a PC check. And unless his father is his actual doctor thanks to HIPAA what his father did was illegal.
I agree
Yeah dads a creeper.
Agree
Exactly!!
I thought his dad was his doctor and was the one to discover the diagnosis while doing a check up. Like maybe he found the evidence while doing bloodwork for another reason. I'm not sure though.
A few things:
1. It's very difficult for a woman to give HIV to a man during vaginal sex.
2. His belief that homeopathy might cure him, makes me question his judgement.
3. The fact that he hasn't been to a doctor, makes me question whether he has HIV at all.
4. Is his father trying to sabotage his relationship by saying he has HIV and then miraculously cure him?
That's not impossible. Give a fake diagnosis of HIV, followed by a fake treatment and a good measure of Bible thumping.
Then when the guy gets a test, it turns out negative. And he was 'cured'. The dad sounds crazy enough.
YES! Exactly my thoughts. How do you know you have HIV if you havent been in office? I once had this feeling that my ex was cheating on me and then we had unprotected sex. I was so afraid to take test where I live so I went to the office 300 km away from my home during COVID and I was like 21 and I got tested. If someone is afraid that they may have this type of illness they will move mountains to find out and if positive, not belive it after one testing. But I am encouraging all the people reading this to do this! It was such a good feeling to know for good where do you stand
@@lenkahomolova3715 A lot of people just don't want to know if they have a very serious disease, and that is both with hiv and other conditions.
Not everyone wants a test for BCRA, Huntington or an aneurysm. At least now you can get treatment for hiv, back in the nineties it was a death sentence. Luckily condom use became a lot more popular.
Exactly what I was thinking! I'm betting a good buck on this guy never having had HIV!
@@lenkahomolova3715 Not nessesarily, he could just be affraid of the outcome (a positive test), which is why hes avoiding it. The guy is right though, chances of contracting HIV from a single encouter for a man is about 0.1% - 0.2% depending on some factors. Not impossible but very unlikely.
One of the most horrendous videos I've seen is the Jubilee video on HIV where most of the participants agreed that they did not have to inform any of their sexual partners they are positive for HIV. If that doesn't scare anyone into being more cautious then I'm scared for the future consequences of the hookup culture and immorality we have today.
He said she was his only partner
Wile I haven’t seen the video. I’m very aware of HIV people who are classed as clinically undetectable, providing they continue to take their medication cannot transmit HIV to anybody else. They have so few virus in the blood stream that it cannot be detected by our medical equipment. A person who is undetectable cannot transmits HIV even through sex. However yes I agree they should say something as it think it’s the moral thing to do
that’s why HIV never went away. Get test. Keep the virus at your own or that relationship. Stop effin spreading it.
I meannnnnn after a certain time of using antiretroviral drugs you can’t transmit HIV sooo they are not putting the person at risk.
I went to a herpes support group and most sufferers there admitted to lying to partners.
Im the girl who goes foraging in the woods for plants. Im the girl who uses plants in my ward to heal. Im the girl who thinks nutrition is basically the reason for 99% of all our medical problems AND i absolutely think doctors have a place and this is one of them . I hope this man gets love and support. I hope he is doing well. I wish there was a way to get updates. ❤
It's almost like he's afraid to see a doctor because it will validate his diagnosis.
This might be one of the saddest calls I’ve ever heard. Dr. John, I think you did great under the circumstances!
I’m angry for him. DAMN! His entire life was ruined in a few minutes. I have a hard time believing she didn’t know she was sick. Screw love dude…I don’t think he understand how bad this is.
Most people have no idea, if you haven't been checked recently you might be positive. Ideas such as "surely people probably know" are the problem...
People think we'll be safe if we wear a condom.
? Do you know anything about diseases? You don't know and, in most case hiv in the early stages shows itself as a cold, feeling exhausted and maybe a rash at best. So it is possible she didn't know
His life isn’t over. The modern medication to treat HIV allows people to live a predominately normal life. HIv isn’t the death sentence today that it was in a prior day. It would still be a shock though. And it’s not like you immediately notice you have HIV so it’s perfectly possible she didn’t know and part of minimizing your risk of this stuff is both of you getting checked regularly to know what you do or do not have as well as using protection. If you don’t take any safety precautions you take these risks
She could have got it from work in that case she might not have known.@@alisha4635
The Man lost his virginity to her so he’s not thinking clearly. This situation is tragic. I pray for both of them but what he seriously needs to do is get control of his health and take some time to reflect
Damn, he's unlucky.
That's it, he can't date. Unless he wants to spread it.
He needs to get a test from a health practitioner independent of his Dad. His parents told him that their medicine can cure him! That is a HUGE red flag, right there!
@@naraendrareddy273He can date but he better tell every woman that he has a LTR in the future that he is HIV+ especially if he wants to have sex that's the moral responsible and legal thing to do!
@@erikybarra3898 Who'd date someone with HIV? Basically who'd date slow death?
There's no excuse for a nurse to not know their status before putting someone else's life at risk. Imagine the patients she's potentially harmed. Regardless of if she knew or not, she's clearly an irresponsible, thoughtless person. I feel so bad for this guy.
THANK YOU!! I was thinking the same thing. This story isn’t adding up.
Chances are she knew and lied about it.
Exactly
Couldn’t agree more.
She knew
I'm 27. I am heartbroken for this guy. 💔
same. devastating.
I was 27 & feel bad for this guy
Oh me too bro
Samehere, and she’s his first sex partner
I'm 42 and I feel terrible for this guy (he sounds young) and his gf too. I'm sexually active and get tested/use protection when testing isn't there but wow. My heart just goes out for both of them.
Stories like this make me wanna stay single. You also have married couples passing it along. 😮💨🤦🏾♀️ This is just too much. Poor guy
Never been more grateful that my husband left to cheat. It could have been worse. Not having to worry about my health was the silver lining to the abandonment.
Just awful!
Marry a man who has practiced abstinence. This kind of man has demonstrated self control.
It is much less likely to catch this from a married partner than a man who is unmarried and just goes from partner to partner.
Seriously!
News flash... STD/HIV is spread through UNPROTECTED SEX not RELATIONSHIPS... Being single has nothing to do with avoiding STD's lol
This guy is 28yo and nursing student, and sounds as naive as a 12yo. I have a hard time believing this call is true. If it is something doesn't add up. She's a nurse with hiv, he hasn't seen a real Dr. how did he get tested? If this is true it's very sad!
He doesn’t sound like the brightest mind out there. 28 and being this dumb…
I don’t think he and the gf are actual nursing students. I think they are practicing the ‘woo-woo medicine’ that the family believes in. Aren’t nursing students required to do health checks/blood tests regularly? I hate that there are some ‘medical providers’ who skirt around regulations by hiding behind religion and religious freedoms.
Or this guys parents do not like the gf and are trying to split them up. The son says he is in nursing as well and maybe the parents want him to quit nursing and come back to the family business...They told him they can cure him of HIV! Is that not a huge red flag? If they can get him to dump the girlfriend like they want, come home and start working in their business and , as they say, they can 'cure his HIV.' But the true story, I think, is that the guy never had HIV in the first place. They are just trying to control him. After he is 'cured,' they may go on telling him to never trust anyone again, that he needs to stay close to the family so they can protect him. They will have him back under their thumb.
Your theory is flawed and still doesn't explain why the girlfriend has HIV too 😂😂😂
@@SandraStachowiczLtd Who has confirmed that the girlfriend has HIV? Does she go for health checks to OP's Dad too? As far I know, neither of them has actually been tested by an actual doctor. Tim's dad (a naturopath, not an actual doctor) is the only one saying that he has HIV. No actual doctor has diagnosed Tim or his girl friend.
Poor guy. Only good thing about any of this is it is more treatable than ever before. His primary concern is taking care of himself and his health.
Yeah they have injectable therapies and 6 month injections are coming soon.
Good point. He is concerned about everyone but himself.
Hope he got a second test carried out by someone else other than his father. He needs to go to a mainstream doctor to get a diagnosis and receive treatment.
I agree!
i doubt the dad accidentally found out. he sounds controlling. TOTALLY against HIPPA
My mother has approval to see my medical information since age 18. I never took her off privacy thing
Yeah if he signs the release, his dad has access to it all.
@@joyaustin6581 Not how that works in the US
@@ajuister yes it does. I sign giving her permission when I fill out medical paperwork
@@joyaustin6581 exactly. That's a very different statement than "I just never took her off" everytime you go in somewhere theres paperwork permissions so you're letting her have access everytime.
Get another doctor Tim. One that you’re not related to. Look at your relationship from the outside. How does she take care of you? How does she treat you? Take a drive and ponder it out.
Great advice
This is heartbreaking to hear and a devastating thing to have to go through. I will pray for this guy. :(
If this man repents to the Lord Jesus, he will be forgiven. The Lord is able to heal them both as Jesus can do anything! God can also restore the relationship. They must refrain from premarital sex & follow Christ, wholeheartedly. God is able !
My heart breaks for this guy. He can have a good long life IF he gets the right medication.
He sounds completely broken; it was his first partner & he got a life ending (in one way or another) disease. This is terrible. Praying for this guy. Hope he sees another doctor!
It is devastating to have, I’m sure, but the medication now allows them to live perfectly normal lives. People with HIV now have very good prognoses and can be with non-effected people with little risk due to how good the treatment has become. I hope he knows he can love and lead a normal life again
I hope he just lives!
The anti-viral drugs they have nowadays bring the viral load down so low that the person cannot infect someone else. The tragedy here is that she didn’t get tested. If she had she could have gotten on the anti-viral drugs and he would not have contracted HIV from her.
@@InTheNameOfLife1glad you said this it's surprising most people don't know this
If he doesn’t take med every single day of his life his viral load can increase and he can die from having the common cold. It’s still very much so a life altering virus
This guy sounds like he’s 18, not 28 🤦♂️
Man I feel for this guy, I pray he’s okay. Thank god it’s not the death sentence it ones was.
Will
Be if not attended to. He better get on it!!!
@@Tristum1970 He needs to get a test from a health practitioner independent of his Dad. His parents have told him that their medicine can cure him. That is a HUGE red flag in my book. Either way, he needs to talk to an expert, not his Dad.
I just want to say that this wasn't provocative in the least, recommending seeing a traditional doctor is excellent advice.
The guy works in a traditional system. I don’t think that’s what he was looking for.
He's talking about the fermented oats
How does a parent in this situation NOT recommend going to the best local traditional doctor for this ? Something’s weird
Parents mutilated their children genitals. They also kill them & let the body sit for a year while collecting food stamps.
Religious beliefs can get in the way.
Probably not wanting any of his colleagues to find out. 🙄
@@marymarsh2937 really ? What parent would prioritize’reputation’ over the health of their child ? A sociopath I guess
@@Tristum1970 Have you ever heard of “honor killings “ ?
There is nothing I can say to address the situation so stoicly as Dr. Deloney did. Such a heartbreaking situation, Tim is as scared as a deer in headlights, and honestly doesn't know where to turn . My heart is so heavy right now.
Tim, if you read this, people can live normal lives with the correct treatment. It's day one. You are not your diagnosis. It will take time to assimilate, not accept. Have a team. You are braver than you think.
I'm willing to bet: 1. The girlfriend knew and didn't treat it and gave it to the bf. 2. The dad knows way more than the son knows by stalking him all his life and the son doesn't even realize it. 3. The son has extremely low self esteem and sees no future with any other girl and is therefore stuck with this chick. (She loves it and its possibly her plan.)
Astute observations. Likely accurate as well.
it is possible to not know you have a std.
SPOT ON. She knew she was riding the CC, got infected, then found a simp to trap.
Dad made it up to get them to break obviously.
Well said. I noticed his seemingly low self esteem.
It’s sounds like he is still in shock and the advice were all on point, reminder to always bring up testing no matter how awkward the conversation with new partners
I'm always preaching that but it falls on deaf ears.
@@bethrook those people are stupid.
I live in Des Moines. I’m sorry for your circumstance. If you need to grab a beer or coffee more than happy to meet and chat! Rough go man!
The very first person he ever slept with gave him an incurable disease… that’s so heartbreaking.
This upsets me in so many ways. I don't even know how to feel.
OMG! After this call I ran to wash my face and pray! And I immediately felt that his Dad could have made up those results!!!! So happy you told him to go see a doctor immediately and retest!!!! This was the saddest call I’ve heard you take! 😭😭 I’m a nurse but more than that I believe in The healing power of Jesus!✝️
Wha. Could you imagine if the dad lied! He would have to call back if that was the case, like how he said his dad told him there was a chance to cure him with his "medicine", he could just say that he cured him and the son would never question
Definitely the healing power of Jesus!! Both these individuals need to pray for healing...physical, emotional, all of it.
@@Mitchmyoutube I had the same suspicion! The guys family didn’t like his Girlfriend so I wouldn’t put it pass them to make something like this up and than say they can “cure” him.
His dad lying and "fixing" the situation with his medicine would be a relief. I feel for this man
Holy a;ldjfaoeicnj;eaimn;eoirhnfc;aldcknei that would be insane and makes so much sense on so many levels. Life truly is stranger than fiction
I have a feeling his dad made it up and the essential oils will end up working. His next test will be clear
Only after he breaks it off with the gf though…
Omg
to get him to break up with the girlfriend? yikes
That's terrible. I hope his father wouldn't stoop that low. That's grounds to sever the parent relationships.
Yeah, the caller doesn't sound like they should be working anywhere near the medical profession.
When he asked “Why do you want to stay with this person?” and he said “She loves me and respects me, I’m like, “What?!” Don’t you love her? Don’t stay in a relationship because of guilt.
He still hasn't figured out that she doesn't love or respect him. It's pretty clear she's sleeping with other men hence this permanent STD she's given him.
He made his bed let him sleep in it.
This kid needs to bail. Bail from this terrible woman who gave him this probably knowingly. And bail from his parents who don’t respect him enough to respect his privacy, and don’t love him enough to tell him get proper treatment for a potentially life threatening disease.
Not potentially life threatening. Without heavy-duty drugs, it's a death sentence within ten-fifteen years or so.
So true well said dude
@@bethanyb4478 well, I hope they have a cure soon. I have heard great things about American Gene technologies and Crispr.
Why?
he knows that it will be unlikely for him to find another woman who is willing to accept HIV, so i get why he's not quite ready to jump ship.
The best thing you can give your partner is a clean bill of health including STI or STD test.
That probably realistically means abstinence before marriage. yah, there are ways to prevent, but 99% of couples are going to stop using condoms after awhile. And nothing is 100%
@@whitneyw.7919 so true.
They won't test you for HIV around me in that pannel
I'm sharing this with my son
And condom use. Some STIs can't be detected unless there are symptoms, like HPV. So always use a damn condom.
HIV and AIDS is no longer a death sentence. You can take medication 💊 to the point where you become undetectable
but you still have it.
@@jones2277 But the fact that he's going the 'alternative route' when the conventional one is so advanced now is very suspicious. It just doesn't add up, particularly since he's studying nursing.
If caught early enough you can stop the affect on your immune system. He will still be vulnerable to illnesses, most likely, but treatment NOW will reduce their impact. It is an immune disorder. It progressively gets worse, but early diagnosis and treatment will help.
I think his girlfriend didn't take are of herself. She had unprotected sex with someone herself, as a nurse, without finding out their history. She's irresponsible, and really irresponsible considering her training.
I think they should seek out treatment and wisdom on it together and maintain the friendship as a relationship of support. But...let's face it, neither of them should have a family.
This is NOT a disease you want to take the “alternative route” with treating……… I really hope this guy wakes up.
The person has to take medication and stay healthy because if the white cells get low it can turn to AIDS.
He is extremely brave to call the show and admit that he has this through being irresponsible. I hope he can pull through this.
I feel like he is in shock and is fixated on the relationship because of the shock.
This is heartbreaking. I can't imagine.
Am I the only one that finds his diagnosis given by his father suspicious.
Mmmm and did his father diagnose is GF as well ?
Omg. I just commented the same.
wow - good thought. I'd get a second diagnosis for sure!!!
Totally agree. This situation is NOT adding up. I sincerely hope he goes to a traditional doctor and gets a second opinion.
Exactly! If his dad is his "doctor " he would have to lld him when the test results came back not after it "accidentally " popping up on the screen....and I didn't know alternative medicine people did tests like regular doctors
That's an actual nightmare scenario. I couldn't imagine anything worse than this. I wish this man the best of luck finding better health in the future.
I agree that it’s a nightmare scenario but there’s definitely worse than this. Had a patient who was approaching 40. Came into the clinic do to odd symptoms. Found out that she was pregnant with twins, after having given up on the idea of bearing children. Only to discover she was also HIV positive because her husband had been having an affair. I don’t know how that situation panned out, in the end. It was long enough ago that she’s probably deceased by now. HIV/AIDS medications had come aways but not far enough. I really hate this disease.
Marriage is not a condom. Monogamy can lower your exposure, of course, but all it takes is for one person to step outside their vows one time. I wonder if her parents would see God as punishing this patient and her twins for her husband’s discretion?
Even if the husband hadn’t had an affair, he could, like the caller’s girlfriend, have been unknowingly infected before they got married and the outcome of transmission would still have been the same.
I’ve long since believed that STD testing-along with a six month to one year marriage delay with retesting-should be required for the issuance of a marriage license.
I wonder, if that was the law, would it change people’s behavior?
At 3:00 Tim mentioned that his dad is a doctor and Tim regularly goes for checkups. At 3:30 He passively clarifies that he goes to his dad for health checkups. His father did not violate HIPPA because he is Tim's doctor. You can tell he was just nervous on the call and having a difficult time explaining the situation instead of outright saying things. It makes sense why he believes holistic medicine might help his diagnosis because he likely grew up receiving treatment from him. He's trusting his primary physician which is his father. At 4:52 he says that he is being treated by his Dad and "it could go away." Tim is clearly in shock and so is he family. He definitely needs to find a different doctor. He doesn't need his dad treating him now that he is adult AND facing something life changing. Even though John wasn't completely sure of what to say I think he totally nailed this call. He handled it brilliantly. This was a tough one.
100% on point
@E I 100% agree. The dad should have never been his doctor in the first place.
@E yes I am shocked it’s even allowed. My step mother is a doctor and she doesn’t even like to give us health advice because of the conflict of interest.
Then how do you explain him saying he stumbled into the information.
@@RealGalaxyGamers because he learned of his condition through the check up.
Oh my Word with the way he was so calm I thought he was going to say gonorrhea, herpes, syphilis...but this man said HIV and doesn't seem to understand the severity of it. My heart hurts...
If his gf knowingly gave him HIV, then SHE has committed a federal crime and needs to be prosecuted abd do jail time!
I hope to God he goes to a traditional doctor for treatment of this! As a RN I was screaming on the inside listening to him talk about his dad curing him.
I don't think he has HIV dad made up the story to break him away from the girl and oh look !!! i cured you !!! Nope I smell a rat he needs another test away from the family I'm gonna bet he's negative not saying it's impossible but his first heterosexual experience and he gets HIV the odds are huge especially for straight men .... He needs another test
And the fact that he should re-test after 3 months, to make sure that this is not a false positive. That is standard medical protocol and any decent doctor knows this.
IMHO this young guy sounds like he's had a sheltered, lonely life. I hope he gets the help he needs to figure this out. I wish him the best.
Honey if you ever read this know that I want to hug you. I can't imagine how scared you are but life isn't over. You will get through this. Go to a traditional doctor. Educate yourself. I am praying for you.
Every single time you start a new relationship and you don’t use protection you must get tested before and after. Things happen sometimes you don’t know what someone can give you even by accident. Condoms aren’t always safe they break…
They break and can come off, plus they don't protect 100% when used properly.
I was waiting for this guy to be like “oh wait, no it’s HPV not HIV, my mistake”. He was just way too casual about the disease.
This is what happens when you don't raise an independent and confident child
Yes. Shame on his parents! And his gf. Come on she said that she only had one other serious relationship???! How many non serious relationships has she had ?????
@@nmc1859 That’s what I was thinking. Sounds like she was sleeping around.
@@kamarwashington I wonder if she cheated on him too
This could happen to anybody. This could happen to you.
Yes. This man behaves like a child. Is unable to hold boundaries with his girlfriend, unable to say no to sex or break up with her when she gives him hiv.
Wow - I think this is the first time I saw Dr. John struggling for words. Prayers for this young man. :(
Oh Lawd. HIV will go away? Pleas people stop it. Please. I feel for this guy. This call scared the crap out of me. Some people will literally die over refusing traditional medical practices...omg. I would freak out if he or she was my nurse. Poor judgement all around. If he or she is by passing HIV what the hell does he think about me? Go to a real doctor!
“You’ve gotta get people that you can trust!” To say it’s easier said than done is beyond an understatement!
First, he needs to see an actual doctor.
Second, he needs to get this woman to let her bosses know she has HIV.
Third, he needs to set up some serious boundaries with his parents, especially his dad.
I wish this guy all the happiness in the world no matter what ! He'll be okay there is always a light at the end of the tunnel... ALWAYS
I’m supposed to be studying but instead I’m listening to Dr. John’s shows endlessly.
Me too! Dr. John is phenomenal!!!
Seriously though…this guy sounds like he’s still shell shocked and in denial somewhat.
Great work John, you handled this very well.
No he didn't, he handled this terribly. He didn't push for obvious information, like "Do you know for certain that she didn't knowingly give you the disease?, Was this STD the result of her cheating on you? If so, why do you think you can trust her?"
Dr John also crafted a narrative about this guy's parents saying they were claiming that God is punishing him with this disease. The guy said that his parents said God was showing that the relationship was not meant to be, not that God was punishing him with the STD. Dr John twisted the words around, presumably to try to make some kind of indictment on religion.
@@blacksquid270THIS!!!! Why did John do this??? Seems like he projected religion onto the situation.
Is dad aware that he could be sued and or fired for breaKing all kinds of violations especially HIPPA❓😱👹
For real but maybe since he’s not a “traditional doctor” aka he just calls himself a doctor
@@ellie448
True but I assumed he was a holistic Dr. If he's an analyst of some sort, he could still be in trouble. He has access to medical records
He actually didn't break HIPPA. If you listen back he says that his dad is his doctor. He goes to his dad for health checkups 3:30
Sometimes people break rules when it's their kid
His dad is his doctor
How many hospitals or health care facilities are willing to hire someone with HIV? This poor guy doesn't even seem willing to acknowledge how his life is so dramatically changed.
Dude seems seriously down. I pray he finds hope to put his chin up, chest out and learn to life with this and finds love within himself
Dr John is so intuitive it always impresses me
No he's not, he handled this terribly. He didn't push for obvious information, like "Do you know for certain that she didn't knowingly give you the disease?, Was this STD the result of her cheating on you? If so, why do you think you can trust her?"
Dr John also crafted a narrative about this guy's parents saying they were claiming that God is punishing him with this disease. The guy said that his parents said God was showing that the relationship was not meant to be, not that God was punishing him with the STD. Dr John twisted the words around, presumably to try to make some kind of indictment on religion.
This doctor didn't address this one very well.
I feel for this young man. Maybe he is so concerned about the relationship because he is afraid he won't be able to get another relationship because of his STD, so he prefers to fight for it and make it work.
exactly. that's the reality, as sad as it is.
Sex is risky business. Not to be taken as lightly as some people do.
This is some of the best counselor advice I've ever heard. I think this guy really needed to hear all the honesty from another man.
Wow. John I really respect you for this call.
Right? Although I was concerned that he didn't notice some rather large red-flags, you've got to acknowledge that he didn't expect to hear this, when he picked up the call with this young man, that day. It was def good advice to tell him to make sure to get re-tested by a traditional doctor. The things this young man's 'doctor' Father told him def had my internal warning-sirens sounding.
Omg this sucks so bad. I feel so bad for this guy. I’m so mad and it’s not even my problem. I would be furious at the gf whether she knew or not. He has to live with that now! How awful!
8:48 - [frustrated] "What are you asking me?"
He still hasn't asked him where she got it from.
Prayers go to everyone going through this situation 🙏
This is really sad. He seems super sheltered.
To be fair they've only been dating for about a year and how often does he get checked for STD's? It's very possible that she never cheated on the guy and she just had the STD from a previous encounter.
not just him getting checked but her too
Mandatory testing and protection
He stated that she is the first person he’s been intimate with.
@@MsDorcelus but unless you are 100% sure you're her first, you get checked, its basic common sense
@@cloudedcolour5329 He stated on the call that he's her second partner. For 2 nurses, they were pretty stupid.
I had a similar situation in terms of relationships with my parents and now wife. Nobody should ever use God to attack or punish you: that's not what He's about. As for your girlfriend,youi and her are the only ones who can say where this goes. Keep loving each other like you have for the past year, and work with a good doctor and therapist for your physical and mental health.
Totally! God saves and is our Defender.
Unfortunately, this young man has to navigate an extremely serious life situation, and will be used to confiding in his parents. This is where the young man needs to step back from his parents a little bit and get help from a therapist.
While his parents love him, and want the best for him, the young man is now an adult and is responsible for his own decisions and actions. The parents just want to protect their son from himself, really.
A) get a real doctor
B) get a real dad
C) get a real girlfriend
D) focus on you bro
You're living a reactive life right now, time to get proactive and intentional about life so you don't get in to another situation like this.
My heart breaks for this young man. I’m praying for him ❤
Bingo- disconnect and grow up - take control of your life.
Over reaching parents crippled this kid and they used Jesus and His word to justify it.
Tim, if your girlfriend had zero clue of her HIV prognosis, that she had not known about her HIV prognosis until you found out about your HIV prognosis, she is likely hurting too. Her world is rocked upside-down too. She might be having similar concerns too regarding her health and relationship - where if it does not work out between you two, then what? What does her life now look like? ... Please, please do not make any rash decisions regarding marriage or long-term commitments until everyone is in a good place regarding this news. Where decisions are made where both of you have a clear conscience and a level-headed mind.
Nah man. The only needs he should be considering right now are his own.
God help her... if she didn't know, that really sucks... but I find it hard to believe she didn't know... did she not go to the doctor for years or something? No weird symptoms? Doesn't make sense to me.
@@catholicfemininity2126HIV is not something that gives you a rash/ weird feeling until you are almost dead.
I’m a medical doctor. Listening to this caller was painful. There are so many things going on that are just concerning… first of all, HIV is entirely survivable if on the right treatments so thank you for encouraging him to see a traditional doctor. This is NOT a disease you want to be taking alternative medicine for. Secondly, it is NOT advisable for family members who are doctors to treat them! This is a core tenant of good practice. Privacy of your medical treatment is sacrosanct. The fact his father could even find out he was HIV positive through his privileged access to information and then use that to create emotional and psychological harm to his own son is actually abhorrent. If God is telling you anything at this point, it is surely to take your medical care to an independent and non-familial practitioner!!!!
If he stays with her, she will never respect him and engage in the same type of behavior. In her mind, she will always view him as a guy that had so few options that he decided to stay with a woman that cannot be trusted.
My heart goes out to this man.
That is a HIPPA Violation !!!! Prayers ❤ for everyone involved. My Heart is So So Heavy for Him. 😞
Thank god he Called in
It’s actually a question? “Should we stay together? Honey, shes not your GF. She’s everyone’s girlfriend!
This episode makes me really sad, I feel for this guy so much!!!!!!!!!!
Actually, as someone in healthcare, his father committed a massive HIPPA violation by examining his adult sons medical records. This is not a minor issue, people lose their medical license, pay hefty fines, and even can run the possibility of criminal charges with these things. HIPPA violations are not taken lightly.
If she ticks all the boxes for him, they need to get help. They both have a serious health problem. He is not in this alone. She is living thru the same trauma as him. He needs to tell his parents that he appreciates their help, but this is his life and he will handle his own love life. Get with an HIV expert. Get physical and mental therapy.
His dad is probably a narcissist. I hope this nice man goes to a different doctor and takes care of his health. A lesson here is to always use protection when dating, always get tested before intimacy.
I'm a longtime podcast listener and I have to say this show is so much funnier with the facial reactions
My heart goes out to this guy. ❤
You can hear the pain in his voice, it's palpable. I hope he finds healing 💔