Why do Indian parents try to control their adult kids? 10 things wrong with Indian/Asian parenting
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- čas přidán 22. 08. 2024
- The biggest problem with Indian parents is that they are not able to adapt their mind with the dynamically changing world. They are comfortable in the patriarchal society that they live in. #indianparenting #badparenting #asianparenting #rainaraonta
#PointTohHai by Raina Raonta
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Presented by: Raina Raonta
Edited and Produced by: Raina Raonta
Script: Raina, Tanvi and Rudrani, SheThePeople - Zábava
The P in Privacy stands for "Par tujhe darwaza bandh karke karna kya hai?"
So true my home has strict rules never to close the doors of any child I'm 21 and still 🤣🤣
Same here
Han kya karega bol 😂😂😂😂
so underrated 😂
Sach me yaar☹️
Expected: this is a must watch for adults who are parents.
Reality: 90% teens and 10% adults...
10 % adults bhi nahi honge
Of course, Because most problems are faced by teens only...!
My mom forced me to become a priest but i became a communist dictator and made absolute mockery of God.
@@josephstalin4385 lol
@@josephstalin4385 oh god ur back sir. 1 of ur spyes is president now
I say "privacy" and my Desi parents hear drug, boyfriend and alcohol.
Seriously
But everyone loves privacy
So true😂😂
Next generation of parents will be lit
Cuz we will be parents
And we understand things
Their generation will be dead in next 20 years and so will their suppressive system.
Parents have the biggest ego in this world they are never ready to accept they can be wrong sometimes just because they are parents
True .
So true 🙃
Are you a parent !?
True
So much true
One more thing.. Many children don't tell their problems to parents.. Because they know.. They will only double the trouble by their extreme reactions and anxiety
Yeah
Exactly
True
Yeah
It's the fact tht no one knows
Relating to all 10 points made me feel I'm not alone😂!
🤜🤛
Me too😂
Me too dude
Same
Me too
Also don't forget the famous line of parents "Do after marriage" whenever a girl wants to do something 🤦♀️😓
Yes this is sooooo true ....l
Ur true!
Army
So true🥺
This line ruined my whole life and I never had the strength to fight back. In my 30s now and full of regrets and sadness about things I never got to experience and the time lost which will never come back
Some may take this video lightly but it brought tears to my eyes 😔
There's a big difference between protecting and controlling. Majority of Indian parents are controlling, not protective. She's right - they do not prepare their kids for the real world giving awareness about real issues, but only prefer to keep them under their cocoon of over-protection and control, which includes financially supporting them even until adulthood. Interdependence is so strong in Indian society that many times it creates lots of inter-related problems and expectations.
Yes
Idk
Finally ehasan kiya hai yahi pta chalta hai at the end emotional blackmail in such way that either children lives unhappy entire life by doing compramise or took life
It is a toxic cycle of financial support and control even during adulthood. In this world of individualism, this is no longer viable.
I think dominative and controlling parenting is flawed. Because it inhibits a child's self-confidence and it prevents them from learning how to resolve disagreements and it developmentally stuns them on learning how to handle discussions. Dominative parenting might even fall under the category of a stereotype.
11.When talking back, They say "you live in my house , I raise you "😅😅😅.
Damn.... !! True
Damn true ..my husband n in law said it when i oppose to do something which makes me uncomfortable .oh u married me .live in house so apko hamre tariqee se rahna hoga yanha ka tradition follow krna hoga..khane se le k kpde pahne tak.disgusting
They simply say's that we are arguing with them 😐
and we cant really fight back about it.......can we?
And if you suggest moving out they will be like "Hai, Hai, ab budhape mein humko akela chhod Kar bhaag rahi ho?"
when you relate to all the ten
not surprised yet dissapointed.
Army
@@sanghamitranath4706 ayee
Ur profile pic tho 😂
@@shridevi6009
*Swag intensifies*
Army💜
So true... My parents threaten to break my door if I lock it
Wtf
@@sanjanagawali7885 I know. It sucks but it's the norm in household
Mine too
Mera bhi
Same it's just annoying
What's privacy ? Never heard of it ????
I think this lady is talking in some strange language! 🤣🤣🤣
@@anindyaroy5692 totally
😂😂😂😂
Yea we don't talk about that in indian households
When my parents are near I do not feel any violation of privacy
This video should be broadcasted in all the fucking channels 24/7 until it gets viral !!!
This could save this generation and so many childhoods!!!
You snatched my words!!!
This is world not a joke
I agree
@@manushakthinagar7456 actually if you think this world has actually become a joke lol
Damn, You read my mind.
The 55 dislikes are from children watching the video in front of their parents.😂
😂
🤣🤣🤣
May be they are the parents who can't listen something bad about themselves 😂😂😂
@@ashyadav3636 might be😂😂😂
@@ashyadav3636 yess 😂
Generation Gap is also the most important factor for this. No matter how much we try to make them understand or explain it in a peaceful manner , they donot understand and instead gets offended b'coz according to them "they are adults and have experienced life more than us " so they have more knowledge about each and every situation even if they don't know how to cope with such sensitive issues properly. According to them "their opinions are always right , their points are always valid. And what the hell is depression ? Drink water , go for a morning/evening walk and that's enough. " 🙂
I felt that in my bones.... I try to talk to them nd correct them at some things they may consider right but is not... they just shout at my face "Zada padha liya h tujhe to.. ab Hume sikhegi tu" if they run out of things to say . oh nd m terrified of coming out as an asexual to them.. Nd they saw my selfharm marks nd said"isliye bada ni kiya tha tujhe" nd "tujhe kis chiz ka stress" 😌
so true happens with me everytime.
I feel yuh mate :(
Really they are toxic for us
@@sleepyheadjoon366 really for them duniya ki saari stress unhi ke ps hai ar hum to sirf khushi hai life main
Don't even get me started on parents bashing into our rooms uninformed as though to catch us cheating on them 🤣🤣🤣🤣
@Prozpekt that would be so fucking hilarious 😂
Yeah and hitting us thts why
Hahaha
So true 😂😂😂😂
"Sadi ke baad krna" is the savage reply of every mother🙂🙂🙂🙂
True
Nothing savage about it! Its just plain lame and derogatory.
Pretty lame tbh
That's fucking irritates you every time
Haan suicide commit karti hain ya divorce leti hain fir
I am 23 and still get emotionally blackmailed whenever I talk to my friends over phone ,like you never talk to us and you talk to them always 🙃 and they have no idea about knowing a person before marrying. Even if you meet a guy and thinking of knowing him they just know that you will have to marry him because people have seen you with the guy 😶
That’s why you gotta move out
Disgusting
@@abhijeet4799 you ok mate?
@@jacquelina1149 yes true i think its best that u have time away from ur parents
Because parents care about you
I'm the only child of my parents,so they expected every possible thing Indian Parents ask to their children like getting your marks better than any other child,get a good job and so on.But speaking up about all that matters,we tend to forget about our rights and we've never been taught about mental health until we do it all by ourselves.I've faced toxic parenting first degree in my life and I know how painful it can be.The thing with toxic parenting is that we generally don't understand it in early stages.Also according to our so called "SANSKAR",we are taught that whatever our parents do for us are only for our wellbeings,if you try to make them understand about their decisions it will be called "ZUBAAN LADHANA".I think it's high time that we should speak up about toxic parenting like the way we started talking about Domestic Violence,Marital Rape,Consensual Sex etc.
I'm also a single child of age 17 yrs and always receives that weird expression from my mom whenever I chat with my boy best friend!Even my mom wants me to be the topper in academics.Allows me to lock my room..but since I'm tired of her suspicious look once I open the door and her expression like-"Oh now u are a grown up girl",I no longer lock my room.🙄
I can relate myself to u guys... even I if I talked to my female frnzz. .. they have problem with that... their most famous dialogue " phle kuch ban ja phr jo krna h krio " ... even they don't like going outside... u know normally... ki market chale gye ... ya trip plan kr diya... they don't even do that... n if I asked them to go outside... they don't allow me...once i asked them... can I go in my frn marriage... oh my God. .. the drama my mom did... I can't explain that... I just went. .. I was litterally crying my whole way .... once my cousin visit here... i m 25 and he is somewhere around 13 14... he was in my rum... at night he was telling me about his school .. his frnz... my father came in... and send my mom... ki tu udhar ja ... or anshul ko idhar bhej.... i was literally shocked... ki itna b kya ho gya yr... the problem is... my mom is with my father's side... she dont take stand for me... i m helpless.. i don't have any job... i cried every single night... they don't care about anything...
They don't care ki mera mood off h ... they just want ki me phad rhi hu bs...
@@PS-tb8of take care of yourself please😳 and Don't worry we can be friends
@@varshamishra3340 thanks
@@varshamishra3340 u r the first person who says that... otherwise everyone be like... how can u hate ur parents thinking... u can't do anything ... you have no other option bla bla blah!!!
Above everything else to try and resolve issues with parents or bridge the generation gap, the main thing is our parents need to LISTEN to us and we need to LISTEN to them. There is a major difference between hearing and listening. Most of the times a conflict arises when either party refuses to listen. #Truestory
Yes my in law n husband thinks that m not capable of understanding how society react n how to live in society..so i have to listen only ..n do thinga according to them..and upar se apko is ghar me rahna hai toh humara tarike se hi rahna hoga ..
There no such thing as genaration gap its ego , and sense of supermacy that they know better than you and you are an investment so they try to protect you
@@debarghyachattopadhyay2614 Then sir you are in denial if you think there is no generation gap . It is the difference it attitude and beliefs which leads to generation gap. The way we understand and accept change our older generation doesn't . our approaches are very different when it comes to accepting changes and new concepts.
@@prajukta1982 actually mam I think every generation has the same things to say to the next generation that they are useless who is meaningless job they are pursuing is worthless, the day dreamers etc etc . I once read an article in the newspaper of 1940 s or before shayariyan image of young gentleman reading newspaper by the side of the streets criticized similarly to the current youth who use smart phone while waiting for bus or train. I wish I could share it with you but I don't have the link. The previous generation is always afraid and sceptical about the future generation. If you pay attention they'll always say that time was a golden age now everything is wasted.
As an indian girl I feel caged and uncomfortable bcs I don't have any of my own rights I'm always been threatned and warned by my parents in everything that I want to do by my choice it seems like they are controlling my life.
South asian parents in general are disgusting with the way they treat their daughters and women in general they see their daughter wear slightly revealing clothing and their first thought is to sexualize them and talk about how wearing this or that will get her harrased or something I genuinely find it so gross how our culture treats women like second class citizens
Caged? I can't even sneeze or cough with peace....
@@b_bgaming5103 can you my mother is mentally unstable and she used to abuse me verbally
then go and be independent all by yourself. Until then shit up cause it is like breaking law and your house is the nation you are living in.
@@ElioFTWGamingsimply the knowledge that you exist without committing a crime. Whether you are dead from inside is none of their concern.
99.1% children
0.1% parents
We're still not open to talk about this video
Who told India is not United! Hearing these points made me feel they are common to each and every household whether be it of a different religion 😜
Yea Diversity my foot, every Indian is same
@@anamay5930 🥺
She said "kahi hamara baccha transgender ya gay na nikal jae"
My parents doesn't even know that being gay golpo s a real thing and think that the people who are gay, just fake it. And then laugh on the people who are gay or transgender. I feel pity on my parents for that
I can feel ur pain. Sometimes my parents say some lines which a stereotyped person would say only and I just ask them not to do that again now they think before speaking🤦🏻♀️
@@bhavyjyotisharma3642 good for you
But that's not the case with me. You see, I have try telling them many times especially my mom. But they don't get it.
When I was young they always used to say nasty stuff about trans people and made me and my brother believe that it is a disgrace to be like them. But now as I grew old understand things in a much better was but because of my parents, my brother also started acting that was. And I genuinely pity my parents (my mom, dad doesn't have that bad of a situation) and my brother.
Ps:sorry it's pretty long😅 but that what I think
@@lilblackboot5907 ah I got that. In my case I never knew about them but my parents did I got to know by them from my parents when gay marriage was legalised my parents was in support of it and then they told me that transgender ppl suffer a lot in our society no one accepts them and after that even I support them n.figh for them😊
Though I think if ur parents got influenced from ur faulty thinking they would surely understand it too when u will make them understand the reality cause if they could.influence u when u were.small they will surely understand this too may be after sometime but they will😊😊
@@bhavyjyotisharma3642 I guess.
Anyways it was good talking to you ☺️
@@lilblackboot5907 Yeah same here ☺️
1:20 me who doesn't even has a separate room
same😢
Same🤣🤣😭😭😭😭
Same your not alone
Same
Same yaar😒🙂
I guess the main reason for them to control is we are financial very much dependant plus we stay in parents house
And parents think that they have every right to control kids because once they were also raised like that by their parents.
Probably future generation will understand better I think.
Don't delude yourself, kiddo. Even after you get a job they will still control you through emotional blackmail.
I have my own place and have my own job. I fully support myself and for some reason my dad still needs to control what I do, where I go, who I meet and who I date. He has ways to keep tabs on me. So even though we are not living with them or financially dependent on them, they will find a way to retain control over certain aspects of your life. It’s honestly toxic and unhealthy
@@jacquelina1149 I'm on the same boat
The thing is I'm not on good terms with my dad since he was basically all my life abroad so he doesn't really care what I do nor I give a shit about him but my mom just irritates me
I honestly don't feel like getting married so I was like mom I'm probably gonna be single for a while and I didn't know how she interpreted that but she raged one me like this is not acceptable and she didn't raise her kid to be someone like as such
Like raising children has become a investment for them to do things they wanted in their life
I'm still convincing her about that but her adamant always never fails to get on my nerves
Someday she hopefully gets to my level and emphathize with me
Dude the day I make my own money it's over for them, I would move to fuck out n show them their aukaat, from grade 8 until graduation they forced me n I put with so much bullshit , I only realised when my frnd from non toxic family said 😮😮😮my gawd u've been abused
@EagleOverTheSea noo don't let them control, save money and move out. They can't tell u shit the day u start earning. You need take actions for ur own mental health don't care abt people and society
Har ladki ke sath aisa hota h lekin phir bhi wo in sabki wajah se khud ko akela feel karti h.
Haa aur ladke ke saath to nahin hota 😐
Okay I think I just went wild with this video and shared it on all my family groups😂
I'm thinking to do the same though😂
U bravo😂
It's been 15 hours...... What was their reaction?? Dare devil 😂😂
Wish u good luck though 😂
Are you alive??😅😅😅
Actually the thing is "India me parents n log zyada bahar k logon ko importance dete hain.. They were like " Log kya kahenge " And this 10/10 actually happens for this reason..
Whenever my parents compare me with others children then i also start comparing my fathers income from other parents in front of them but not in very serious way then we laugh together and then dicussion end🤣🤣🤣🤣
I also compare how some kids get iphones n audies and other luxury cars for doing nothing , my average frnd just did a bsc it which is easy her dad gifted her a house and she sold it to get a master's in Australia , some parents give so much to their kids, toxic abusive parents only compare , we should compare back
I also did the same and I got slaps😭😂😌😅
Thank you, Nice idea..
Gonna try next time..
😜😶
Guys I thought about it too. But all the mental health probs we've faced they should not face them! Please please don't hurt your parents! No matter how much they've tried to control you. They'll think they're not good enough especially father's because now they'll start thinking that they're not doing enough. It's kinda toxic too. Just tell them that you won't tolerate comparison or something. Don't do this please
Wtf
"Modern parenting is westernisation! That's how Indians are losing their roots!" Things you'd hear in normal indian households too often
True
Well they arent wrong
You had me in the first half 🤣
@@sonbicox6638 they are wrong
There’s nothing modern about desi parenting. We’re being raised like our grandparents era
Honestly I just wanna do better for my kids in the future and the funny thing is that I'm just 19. Our parents use the parenting style that was used on them and it's a fact that I try my best to be like anyone but my parents. I just hope I remember each and every thing that I've gone through so I would never put my kids through it.
I am also thinking like you. We cant change our parents attitude but we can provide our best to our kids & I am also 19 like you
Omg same
Future doesn't exists.
Funny thing is I am 30, my gf is 29. She is a doctor and we are getting married in couple of months. Yet she agrees with how parents treat their children and it is me trying to explain why parents hould give freedom to their kids and privacy as well. And I am happy that no matter who opposes the way I upbring my children, I will ensure that I am just their father not their master and definitely not their controller.
Highly respect you for that! Me too thinking about that tbh
A lot of these "conservative" Indian families are really just abusive to their kids. I didn't know until recently just how bad it is. Obviously, not all Indian parents are like that, but when they are, it's seriously damaging to their kids. And it ends up hurting people both within and outside of the community. Hopefully more Desi kids will stand up for themselves and choose to live their lives authentically. Parents should love their children no matter what. Not conforming to society's expectations shouldn't cause a person so much turmoil. I wish that more people in the Desi community in general would stand up and speak on these issues.
Why put conservative in quotations? That's conservative parenting in a nutshell
Ohh well for desi parents they can literally let their child die than confronting to the society and accepting the child the way they are! This is the fuckin reality in india
My mother think I shouldn't wear nail polish and do anything feminine and every time I do she shows that she is disappointed in me
can i just say it a MAN wearing nail polish is 1000000000000000 times more attractive than a closed minded asshole.
so shubh i am pretty sure you must be slaying it man 🖤
Soo true..
@Shreyaawashere yeah I know
Very true 😑😑😤
More power to you man❤️
No offence but my parents are toxic and superprotective .
After graduation I am gonna live on roads but I can't with my parents.
I am depressed 😭
Bro which road I will accompany
Us bro us please I also wanna the company 😢😢😢😢
Today my condition is such due to abusive parenting, i don't have a life partner, i remained single bc they didn't want me to be with my bf, then m having chronic heart ailment due to prolonged control on my life & constant stress, thirdly m a depression, mental patient, I've totally withdrawn from the society & lost every interest in anything. Today m doomed bc of this curse called 'parents'. I genuinely pray that even my enemies don't have such parents.
Did you consider counseling ? Journaling your thoughts ? It’s great for mental health to do so.
Agreed. Hey, do you think you can reach a therapist?
Please dont lose hopes god is listening ur prayers🫂😭
"Prioritising moral values over personal growth"
There is a thin line between HELPING someone and BEING USED by someone. Parents should teach their kids to identify that line.
The irony is that 99.9% of Indian parents will never see this type of videos . And they don’t realise they are toxic. Zara si awaz uchi karo unhe lagta hai bacha bigad gya.they think they own children from birth to death
Sach me bhai. It's like we're their property no WE'RE NOT! WE'RE INDIVIDUALS!
When I got my 1st periods at the age of 13 i was in school when i came home my salwar was fully stained and i was so afraid i was unaware of this 🥺when my mom knew after looking this my mom was like "" baapre itni choti umar m dur ki hone lag gyi" ( in our side dur hogyi means periods because we have to stay away from kitchen and even from persons ) so then after all this i felt so embarrassed after her reaction it was like i had done some sin. After hitting puberty i started gaining weight my mom always taunts me and make fun with my brother and whenever i tell them to stop that fucking bullshit they even laugh at me more .the first stage of loosing confidence comes from my owwn family.I wish to get a job very fast and move to so other place and leave in peace 😵😵😵
Hey… there…. I have faced similar situations regarding my weight from teenage from my parents and relatives side. It affects one’s self confidence Negatively. And after one stop being confident it takes years to find oneself again and be normal . So be strong and don’t let these negative comments affect you.
She actually puts up all the reality and I agree to all the points she says, I wish this video reaches most of the parents who are like this and they realise what they are doing..
Even if they see it.... They will act like nothing... No one can change their mindset.... I wish my parents were open-minded and I could live my life as I want😢
40 dislikes are from Indian parents😂😂😂, they can relate strongly😁😬
A calming video on how bad parents are made czcams.com/video/yRq2tYnpgO0/video.html
Guess.... it's time for our generation to become parents and erase all these toxic things
Yeh sab shadi ke baad karna😂😂😂
Fr
When my room's door is not closed no one comes to my room but the second I closed everyone comes to my room to search for their stuff in my room and obviously they don't close the door
WTH!!same pinch,100 percent true
A calming video on how bad parents are made czcams.com/video/yRq2tYnpgO0/video.html
In saying it's looks like Indian parents are very caring and possesive but actually for us indian kids it's very depressing and sometimes it leads to sucidial cases. Kids also have there own life and rights parents should understand that. It's feels caged and uncomfortable when they does that too much.
They are not protective, they are controlling.
Slapping. Oh my God. My father and mother would slap the shit out of me. I get so disturbed whenever I think of it. Once, my mom beat my hand with a wooden ruler so hard, it was swollen. Then when I showed her the swelling she put water over it. But duh whats the use. She beat me! And it was for a Maths paper which I had a hard time understanding. I stayed up till 3 am with her to do revision.
Hello all, I am fine now. Really. No mental health and all. I am lucky to have it not affect my mind. Its just that when my father shouts (as he is diabetic and has hypertension) I get shaken up and scared that I will be slapped. Its only for those moments. Otherwise I am fine. Thanks for your kinds words ❤🙏
I m sooo sorry U had to go through that...try standing up for urself as respectfully as possible
@@sanjanakashyap5052 yeah man. Remembering it was hard. It still tears me up. My parents dont believe in beating me up everytime but that day my mom's frustration got her and you know
why do I relate so hard... anyway I am sorry yo had to go through this shit man... keep yourself together
@@prerana1765 yeah im fine ❤❤ thnxs alot
@Vaishnavi Singh that was in early 2000s. I am fine now ❤ tysm for asking
These days no lawyer doctor also everyone is doing engineering , including me 😂
Correct
My parents are not allowing me to ba a scientist or painter 😤
They are forcing me to be a engineering ☹️😠
@@siddhitiwari7392 girl, follow ur heart! Don’t fall into the trap
@@siddhitiwari7392 abhi bhi.... Ab to engineer k bhi bura haal ho gaya h..... Ab to parents engineering ki jan baksh de..😂
Well... Seriously.... Engineering m kuch khas scope h nahi.... Especially agr aap India m ho.... abroad ka I don't know....
I found all the freaking ten points relatable...everyone here is competing to be a doctor, engineer or ias. SO MANY CHOICES !!!!
Yeah, me and my mom used to get into very nasty verbal fights because of #4. There was one very nasty fight in the senior year of college, with expletives exchanged and I stopped talking to her for about a year.
Throughout masters, I did not talk to my mom at all, just once or twice a month. The fear of seeing disappointment in her face was a reason to stop talking to her.
I stopped confiding in her. Not everyone's life is the same. This is life, not a race.
Comparison leads to insecurities. When I am being compared to, I literally feel like I am not enough. I get very angry and I would just lose my temper.
I vowed that if I ever have a kid, I will never ever compare his or her actions or choices with others. Ever.
Same. I also get angry quite easily. Glad I can relate to someone.
JAB TUM BADE HOJAYOGE TUMKO PATA CHALEGA !!
Reply to every thing!!
**No further discussion** 🥺
Exactly 😂😂
True😂😂😂
Exactly,
I asked my mother from where does the child come from when I was in class 3.
She replied this 😅😅😁😁
A calming video on how bad parents are made czcams.com/video/yRq2tYnpgO0/video.html
There are parents who criticize children however good they maybe, and there are people who glorify such ones.....
0:12 - 10 things parents should change
0:18 - career choices
0:31 - Puberty hit
0:48 - beating their kids= discipline
1:00 - comparing to other kids
1:12 - No privacy
1:24 - financial independence
1:39 - Sending UNPREPARED in the world
2:00 - stereotypes
2:37 - Cast and religion
2:50 - Weird solutions to problems
i hope you're parents understand you and you shall be in happiness in peace :)
take care guys
welcome
I have tired from my parents, i have decided to go in hostel and then immediately get a job and become fully free for everything:-1 wear anything
2 Travelling
3 Talking my male friends
4 Do parties
and many more
2:37 *the most toxic one* 🤢
v
A calming video on how bad parents are made czcams.com/video/yRq2tYnpgO0/video.html
I am 13 and i told my parents that i dont want to become a doctor or engineer or something else. I want to follow my passion and become an actor. But my parents always say "log kya kahenge" and "hamara naam kharab karna hai kya?" And i think so that i am all alone and they dont want to support me also. And i have decided after my graduation choose the career what i want and happy to see you to rise this thing, proud of you sis:)
Same here ....
Same problem but my age is 15 but mera bhi same problem hai
@@shik.109don't worry dude yak bar hum settel ho gya to fir koi nhi rok skta huma hma jo chiheya wo krnasa....
u atleast said to ur parents about ur dream i did not even has courage to say that i want to be actress... i already know. suitation will get worse they want me to become doctor because i choose pcb it means to them i can not do any other stream course as well .....
We need to talk first......🤣
And simply get our ass kicked.....
That was such a great advice🙄🙄
It’s best to move out without them knowing once ur older like when ur 20 or 21 and got ur life set
Then u wud move in with roomates if u have one or two roomates it's nice ,but u gotta clean wash clothes on ur own , or u have to keep a kaamwali wich most 20 yr olds can't afford coz their salary is 20 k per month , in some cases it's less than that
It’s sad to see people here complaining about Indian parents. I work in Germany and have a 17 year old colleague. The changed the payment system at my workplace (they used to pay us once every week but now they pay us once a month) and she told me she doesn’t have any money saved up since she is used to getting money at the end of a week. She told me she only has 40€ left which is literally nothing and she has to live with it for the next 2 weeks. Her mother refused to give her food/money and so now she only gets to eat 1 meal a day for the next 2 weeks. It’s not a bed a roses anywhere in the world. Everything comes with its consequences. Atleast, in India you don’t have parents who would leave a 17 year old starving for 2 weeks.
Thanks for sharing that perspective. Reminds me that its not about sticking with one dogma or another but to act with love and respect
@@anoopg7006 Very true..
@@Lasha901 I might be acting intensive here if I say that I prefer that situation over the one I'm in rn. I would rather starve than have someone control my life for 40 years in exchange of the "care" they gave me. Atleast you all get a taste of the real world and eventually learn to stand up for yourself, here in india.. we just constantly get infanticized by our parents and often fail in the actual world. Indian parents might be good intentioned but they're clueless about the ruin they cause to their child. I've literally been told my mother that a good child is one who "surrenders" to their parents and lets them make life decisions like marriage or career for them.. all because they spend money on their child. Trust me, you don't ever wanna try indian parents, afterall what good is survival without any freedom?
IT'S HIGH TIME THESE THINGS NEED A CHANGE!
I wanted to go to movies with my friend today, She told me that she would be late amd asked me to reserve a seat for her. I agreed.
My mom ks scolding me continuosly from then on, "Akele to tujhe jaane hi nahi dungi" "Paagal hai kya, Tera bas chalega ki mera is ghar me" "Inko dabao na to unke pankh lag jaate hai, Dekho kaisi baate kar rahi" Aur kaisi baate kya, Sirf movie me hi to jaana tha, Isse pehle maine kabhi makeup nahi pehna , kabhi party me nahi gayi, Kabhi maze nahi kiye jaise baaki log karte hai, ab socho sirf movie dekhne me ye ho raha to aage jaake mera kya hi hoga, Ye log jeene nahi dete.
Ab apni dost ko sab bol rakha tha ki jaaenge aaj, poore plans bana loye the, ab mummy bol rahi "JaAnE hi NaHi DuNgI, Gahe se bahar pair rakkhe to dikha" Kabhi kabhi parents ka samajh nahi aata,
Itna gussa aa raha, Par kuch bop bhi nahi sakte warna maar daalenge
Indian parents are too over protective and conservative....
I wish there was a solution to this problem :)
@@mitsuki0_0- just move out, get a job or something, and just send them some money monthly so that they don't bitch about you...
This explains why India has so much Old Age Homes. That's a bitter truth but yes, it is theirs mistake as well.
🥺💜 never had to face any of these, I'm so grateful to my parents for just letting me be.
My relatives have done a few of these, though. Comparisons, forcing me to choose a career path of their choice, glad my parents didn't get swayed away by their words.
Hi MOA 💜💜💜
Mine too💞...I consider myself so lucky to have such a wonderful mother nd a supportive father 😃...wish all go through such parenting👍
Yesss, was looking for this comment just to like it. We’re really so lucky🥺
Lucky
💜💜💜army 💜💜💜
Strict parents made all of us recognize the sound of the parent's car from 1mile
just realised my parents aren't indian xD. never ever gone through this.
You're so blessed.
Wait, then whats their nationality?
@@tiyaskun maybe her grandparents were indians and they gave birth to her mother or father in us and she was born in us as well?
@@Kakashi20018 oh ok
A calming video on how bad parents are made czcams.com/video/yRq2tYnpgO0/video.html
Anytime your parents compare your marks to someone else’s
Compare their salary to other parents salary
Yeah and get free chappls😊
N then they would become emotional and say ... we don't want to be like us that's why we tell you to score good marks😒
Then they say , go and live with the person who has high salary
@@nishukumari8253fr
@@mantisbrainsI honestly would say that "I will!!" Because it'll be better than living with them because of their toxicity and daily fights 😂 lol I hate them sm
Even if I show this video to my parents for a positive effect, that day I will surely hear a big lecture about all the things without any improvement in the situation.🤣🤣🤣🤣
Yeah
Every Ott platforms should bring the web series which reveal the truth of Indian parents, Indian society, Indian politics, Indian education system
I literally got punched on my head from my father 2 days ago and when I tried to protect myself by my hands on my head, he punched them too and now my hands are still swollen and the reason why he punched me was because everything was so messy because of my sister and I didn't clean it like hell I just came from my tution classes like 10 minutes ago that time and he came, started shouting and punched me and when I cried my mother was laughing and saying "baap ke marne par ro rhi hai" and this is the reason I can't expect from my parents like in the end I'm the one who'll get hurt
Like if you think BEATING your own child is a part of decipline then idk why you're not disciplined when you're parents also beaten you
My god I'm so so sorry this happened to you. Is there any way you can tell someone this? Some adult you can trust and who won't ignore this?
Our parents are afflicted with some syndrome, a mental disorder, with no self realization, no self worth. They are just living for social status and their false image in that society. They just use the word love, but thats just a biological drive of affection found in all animals. But thats not love at all.
Right
I stil remember when I went out of house and did my engineering, in last year my parent start putting me guilt phase by saying "beta tu hame akela chodegi to nahi dusaro ki tarah". I tell you I always felt so confused feeling that I cannot describe.... I felt is it so bad to become independent
Wen you are over 18 yo and want to decide something .... They starts emotional blackmailing you 😌
Especially wen you ask to study abroad or out of hometown ...and also if you a girl .... They will make u feel guilty of yourself ☺
I am brown girl belonging to middle class family but my parents had never done any of 10 points. My mother owe my success. ❤️
😭 you're lucky
@@armyeverywhere4365 agree. I am blessed to have very understanding family ♥️
Im so jealous 😭
What is brown girl??
Yrr I love wearing modern outfits but my parents never allow me to wear 😭😭
this is epic.......even after being adult and financially independent I hear and suffer all these....i wonder how she makes such bold videos..... i appreciate your guts and even creativity to make it......keep going!!..it is really motivational for many....at least it gives relief to some even if we cant change our parents....
I can relate to all of these and besides both my parents are toxic and they will never apologise 😑😑😑
Same here...Even though they are wrong in that case, they never feel sorry about it what they have done.
Most Indian parents let their sons drive a motorcycle but not their daughters. This is a double standard which needs to go.
Most girls are stupid and don't come and raise their voice ???
I swear hitting has never never never helped any children at any age .
I hate the phrase
Chadhi vaze cham cham
Vidya aave gham gham
The problem with parents is that they want their children to be happy but they don't want to understand or accept what actually makes their children happy. Parents just assume on their own that certain things will make their children happy & they try to impose those things on them🤦🏻♀️
I just love that there are subtitles too as i love to read them
Honestly, her advice about how we should try to talk to our parents and make them understand our views is also a huge privilege for most of us. There should be an environment at homes where the child at least has the right to put forward his/her views about things, where the parents at least try a little to understand their kids' perspectives, but that's not the case in most of the families. Just having a different opinion can spark a big fallout in families, for parents even this is against sanskaars. My friends suggest me to talk to my orthodox parents regarding giving a little freedom to me but this ain't a bollywood movie where I'd give a monologue and they would realize their mistakes! Indian parents wont EVER acknowledge that they are wrong.
My mother is a very dominant person in the family, manipulates everyone and gets her way every time. She severely judges everyone around her, disapproves any thoughts or ideas from others in the family. We are all just tired of her. Our family has fallen apart just because of her neediness, sensitivity, low self esteem and constantly talking behind everyone's back. I am tired of dealing with her negativity and toxic conversations.
Read about NPD.
Hi it’s the same with my mom.. I don’t know how to deal with it though.. she’s my mother so I should love her but I’m really I’m repelled by her
" we are feeding you and we gave you birth so we are allowed to force things upon you and treat you as an extension of ourselves and project all our insecurities on you and expect you to fullfill all our desires and our failures . We refuse to acknowledge that you are a seperate human being with your own interests and opinions. Even if you have , you should keep them aside because we think we know what's right for you even though we have no sense of right and wrong
You should be grateful to us for giving you birth even if you didn't choose to be born here".
Respected
Asian parents
One solution of all the problems 18+ youth faces with their parents is....
Be Financially Independent
(Trust me it sort out almost all problems)
Howwww bro ??? In the house we can't meet people we are not allowed to talk on phone
I am a male , this channel is for girls , but these videos are far more versatile and relatable
I feel so relatable! I hope all parents understand these problems and avoid it from happening. Children nowadays have voice so please, show it, hear it and not pass it though your head. If I was brave enough I would have shown this to my parents and tell them that they are doing it the wrong way! I don't have the capabilities for doing this so, you who is reading this please speak it and not hide it. Express you worries, thought, emotions and not hide them in fear. P.s. thank you for spending time reading this fully.
After watching such videos & reading the comments, I felt a little better because I'm not alone. I'm not the only one who is suffering because of my parents
Relate to every single one, I feel so trapped and it feels like there is no way out for me, my parents always just have to compare me to other Indian families kids like "If he can do it why can't you". I also rarely talk to girls because when I was in elementary school my parents suspected me of having a girlfriend, even though she was just a class friend. Whenever this happened, I would later when I got home get yelled at because they would tell me that girls are corrupt and don't talk to them. Basically saying wait until my arranged marriage. This has given me trauma even to this day, I am 20 years old now and I've never had a girlfriend and never talk to girls around my parents. Even if I do talk to them away from them I always fear the fact that I might be doing something wrong, where in reality I know I am just talking to another human being. I wish there was a way I could explain to them that my life situation is not the same as their life situation, but I guess that is beyond their willingness to comprehend. I hope there are Indian guys out there who can relate to me to some extent because I am seriously drowning and have no I idea on what path I want to take in my life, both personal and career wise. There is so much I can say to get off my chest but that would seriously be about 3 essays long. I love my parents a lot but I feel like there is truly something known as "loving someone too much" and that is definitely something I feel like I have experienced for the last 20 years of my life first hand.
Sorry if that was a little over board....
PS. Reading all these comments gives me warmth that I am not alone... thank you all for sharing your thoughts 😄
Absolutely correct💯💯. Before reading comments I thought that only my parents are like that but after reading comments of other people I realised other parents are like that
I always say " My child will be the luckiest"
I will never treat my future kid/kids like that no matter what
Same god 🤦🏻♀️😂
Not only an Indian household but it's the same thing in a Nepali household... I'm from Nepal and can totally relate to everything said in this video, I'm glad our generation is gonna have the best parents!
I am extremely grateful to my parents as i have never face any of these things. I truly believe that the biggest blessing ever that i recieved from the god is my parents ❤ and ofcourse my little brother, he is just 17 now but still supports me in everything that i want to do. I am 26 now and just started my preparation for upsc and all three of them are with me ❤🙏 my parents always say first become a financially independent women, achieve all ur dreams and then marry. When i will become a parent one day I will teach all this things to my kid too❤ i love u so much ma, baba, bhai ❤😘
hows ur upsc journey
"They send us completely unprepared for the real world" THIS x100000!
My mom has been conditioned by her mom (I.e.my grandma) to accept a patriarchal society so much that when I raise my voice for equality, she accuses me saying I read a lot of unnecessary books and that I'm headstrong..... I'm like what????
Same here. Some complain that they are scolded for not studying good , in my case , I got educated and question their beliefs n I get taunted for ' knowing more ' . Ive no idea why im studying , if applying them in life will bring me sorrow .
Well, my grandmother keeps on lecturing my sister to dress up like a good girl, tie her hair in braids.
During teenage " Our house our rule" but I thought these things will change when I will be independent.
And now ...bhut bade ho gye ...jab hmari age mai aaoge tab pta chalega...this emotional blackmail always win..😭
this incident happened with me few days ago when i was studying late at night and talking to my bf they though know about him.... but then i wasnt sleeping due to studies just for company i vc my bf and then my dad got angry and beat me so much so badly like i was almost about to bleed from my ears ig .....but then he called up my bf's dad and insulted my bf and his family a lot .... whatever happened was very wrong and still he doesnt feel the shame to say such bad things about them .....
Why did your dad beat you up in the firdt place ? I'm sorry but the reasons you listed were pretty illogical to get beat up. And why can't someone talk to their bf/gf ??????
@@Ichigo-gp9vq exactly thats what 😐 i was really depressed at it.... and now my bf family must be really mad at me for this ...i m really feeling guilty...
if we have any good nd valid point nd parents can't reply to it toh they start another thing nd every one knows😂
Privacy bagal main rakhte h..thode parents and elder siblings toh apna views or decision bhi bolne tak nhi dete.
How many times have you experienced/heard of parents forcing a perfectly happy couple to separate and marry other people of their choice? This is so problematic. All the drama, emotional blackmail to control an adult's choice to marry.
I say "solo travel" my typical conservative desi parents hear "boyfriend, sex, night-clubbing, rave-parties, alcohol and drugs".
Why I relate to all these 10 points😖😅😅 I was like "what" meri man ki baate leak kahan s ho rhi h🤣