To Have or Not to Have Children
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- čas přidán 30. 06. 2024
- When deciding whether or not to have children, we should acknowledge that we aren’t choosing either a ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ answer - merely deciding which form of future suffering we are best suited for.
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“Modern societies are pretty much in agreement on this score: having children is one of the most meaningful and delightful moves anyone can make. Couples who do not - for whatever reason - have children tend to be automatically almost universally pitied and are assumed to have been denied the chance to have offspring by biology. That one might freely choose not to have children, and yet be reasonably content with one’s choice, remains one of the most disturbing and unfathomed of all contemporary positions…”
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from the truth you are speking and i find my self here to calm
A video about non-dualism would be appreciated.
I'm going to be honest. I love your videos, but this one is kinda not great. What it talks about is only half of the whole picture. What about the joys and magic of our choices? Whether they be having children, or not having them, or other ones. This isn't a comforting video, as I assume it's meant to be. It's a pessimistic, depressing piece of content. "You're f*cked whatever you do" is not only a purely nihilistic message, but also an objectively wrong one. I have made choices in life I don't regret one bit. Whether they be career decisions or relationships. And I'm sure all of us have. While there are no universally "right" choices, there ARE choices which are right for us. And I guess you are perhaps trying to say the same thing by talking about choosing the kind of misery one is suited for. But, frankly, what a piss-poor way to make that argument.
Sorry if I come across as harsh. I'm a fan of the channel and the content all of you lovely folks put out. But sometimes, maybe it's a good idea to reflect on not just what we wish to say, but how we present it. Lest our expression ruin the intention of our piece.
I like this because it emphasizes to do the best with what you have.
I find it bizzare that I only exist because millions of generations did have children.
Every child deserves a parent, but not every parent deserves a child.
❤❤❤❤
The best comment ever!
Yes 👍🏻
Agree
Brilliant words
Most people have no idea how to be a parent nor how to raise a child. They do it simply because everyone around them is doing the same thing, and it's seen as a sort of life achievement, like owning a car or a house.
it's been like that forever
You should only have kids if both you and your fiance are of stable and mentally fit for the challenge. If either one of you grew up in trauma, are emotionally unstable, or immature you shouldn't reproduce. There are many great benefits to having kids and sense of fulfillment. Conservatives have the advantage in these aspects. You can go without kids but human nature will kick in and you will have regret and be alone. (Prodomently in females) The more you stray away for traditional values and human nature. The more you will suffer and hurt those around you. We already see this today with the current decline in the west.
Misread "car" as "cat" ...
"I'd consider myself a realist, all right? But in philosophical terms I'm what's called a pessimist... I think human consciousness is a tragic misstep in evolution. We became too self-aware. Nature created an aspect of nature separate from itself. We are creatures that should not exist by natural law... We are things that labor under the illusion of having a self, that accretion of sensory experience and feelings, programmed with total assurance that we are each somebody, when in fact everybody's nobody... I think the honorable thing for our species to do is to deny our programming. Stop reproducing, walk hand in hand into extinction; one last midnight, brothers and sisters opting out of a raw deal." -- Detective Rust Cohle
@@NightcoreandAnimeVideos Instead of associating it with human nature, I would describe this urge or desire to reproduce as more primal and animalistic tbh. It's something that all beings feel they need to do in order to ensure the survival of their species, and more specifically their gene pools. IMO, to be human, is to have the will and the rationale to rise above this baser instincts. If someone feels they are ready and want to build a family, there is always the option of adoption.
Never having been born would solve literally every one of my problems.
So true it’s what Ive been thinking every single day of my life.
That's Gospel
Very true, I feel the same way. Your awesome anyways
I feel the same...
That is the Ultimate unawareness from purpose of life.
Never give up, when you face difficulty in life.
I've never understood the "you're selfish if you don't have children" narrative. For me, i believe it's the most selfless thing you can do
Yes, protecting your to-be-baby from this hell of a world, while receiving backlash for it from the ignorant majority is by no doubt the most selfless thing a human could do.
I think those are just some christian values leftovers that are still floating around in western society and people feel irrationally right about them because of this.
@@tacitozetticci9308 actually Paul advised the singles to just stay single lol!
Please dont reproduce 🙏🏻 you will regret it
Just shaming tactics. It doesn't make sense to have kids anymore. In the 90's, yes. Not now. How can people go to work and see the ballooning debt, see all the chaos on the news, and have kids??????????? Baffling
In essence, you won't be ruined by the Wrong choice, but by the belief that there is a Right choice.
Well, you could be ruined by the wrong choice... Assuming free will exists, one choice could lead to you being a miserable single mother in poverty while the other choice could lead to you being a decently fine woman whose not in poverty because she doesn't have to care for her kids... Maybe having kids also wasn't all she felt it was cracked up to be, perhaps the kids even later on get orphaned... Then she's just financially ruined and miserable when she really didn't need to be had she made the choice to not have kids...
But if you are a determinist and don't believe in free will then only the illusion of free will and the belief that a different and more right choice will make you miserable in a purely pointless way because really you had no choice and so no choice could really be right or wrong... Assuming your belief is correct of course*
Oh, i interpreted it the other way round - that we're fxcked both ways, just a matter of which way we get fxcked is slightly more comfortable.
@@RealmRabbit you make an interesting point, there can be one bad choice and an even worse one. But you know what, in my view, enough literature, drama and even science has tought us that procreation is not always desirable or conducive to being happy( Madam Bovary thought that her child Berthe was strangely ugly), even less in the century ahead. So assuming again that there is a Free Will,
choosing to remain childless might be a smart choice.
Thank you for getting the point and making it so clear. The comments are so focused on the joys of not having kids it seems the point of this video flew over most people's heads
Shit you got it
I'm an introvert who forced myself out of my shell and dated throughout college and afterwards and almost got married because "it's what you're supposed to do", only to realize I'm actually happier living alone at the last minute. Been single for about 7 years now and no regrets. Don't force yourself to make life changing decisions just to fit in with what society considers normal.
What about the urge to have sex with a person?
@@richardparker1338 Wow, good to know thanks bruh.
@@richardparker1338 DIY?
@@richardparker1338 No wasn’t kidding lol
@@richardparker1338 lmfao, you could peach that my friend!
My spouse and I have been together over 40 years. We often laugh and say, "We'd be divorced by now if we had children!" We decided when we met that we didn't want to raise children in this world. We opted to save money, vacation and retire early. We both retired by age 50, moved to Central America and our totally debt free, healthy and happy!
I am 20 and I will go through this same path...
There is enough children already in here we don't need anymore..
So happy for you. What a beautiful life🥰🏖
Wow, that's great 🤗
👌
The reason to have children, as I see it, is for making more of attractive, beautiful, and inspiring people, if that is you to begin with, and, the matter of heritage,…. who do you want to make for the future of the world. Racial and ethnic heritage is something to appreciate, and that goes for all types.
I wish I could call everyone who's ever told me, "You'll change your mind," and just update them that I'm nearing 40 and feel more peace in my conviction than ever.
It's sickening the amount of times I've been told I'll change my mind. I'm in my mid 20s and very headstrong, my body isn't a vessel and will never be.
hahahah it's funny, cause I am such a mess that every time I tell someone I don't want to be a parent they concur
even my own parents seem to be ok with the prospect of never having a grandchild
it's just logical
Yeah because you know it’s over for your *ss 🤣 that’s the mind going in defensive mode
@@TheGarlicfather what's over? Women in my family have babies into their 50s
@@musa2775 🤣 You just proved my point
People want babies but don’t want kids or teenagers.
Ahh yess, ain't nobody got time to deal with moody teens, just blame the phone & u're good to go ;)👍🏿
i think im the only one whos the opposite, i dont have the patience for babies and kids, but i love wrking with teenagers, so i plan to adopt a teenager one day cos noone else wants them
@@joefur1625 You are a great human being. If more people were like you, we could ameliorate the world's life quality by a lot. I too wish to adopt one day but am concerned whether I'll find a similarly level headed partner.
Sooooo true!
@@joefur1625 wow, you're beautiful!
As a woman in her 30's, I must say that it is very refreshing to read all of these comments. I've never had the desire to procreate, and I often feel alone. It's nice to see some many people commenting that they have the same feelings. Life is hard enough, why bring an innocent person into the mix, right?
By the way, thank you for this wonderful video.
Yesss period. Take care of yourself. You don't have to bring another life into this world. It's just more work. Use all the energy money and resources on You and your loved ones and if you have more... Donate. You don't need to have a child to be happy. That is just a thing boomers made up.
so true~
i’m also feeling the warmth from this comment section, thank you for agreeing 💓
You are NOT alone.
Be my friend...we have similar energy
If you thinking you're suffering, just throw kids into the mix and you'll be introduced to a whole new level of suffering.
Good one 👍
The reason to have children, as I see it, is for making more of attractive, beautiful, and inspiring people, if that is you to begin with, and, the matter of heritage,…. who do you want to make for the future of the world. Racial and ethnic heritage is something to appreciate, and that goes for all types.
So true
My question for people who use the suffering argument is simply this: why are you still alive? If life is so hard, why live it?
@@Delete240 Because someone else forced me to be born and suicide is not socially accepted either.
I have observed many parents in an old person's home who are lonely, never visited, longing for their children.
That's why you should never expect anything from anyone. Don't expect your children to love you as much as you love them, you should find all the love you need from yourself or from god.
agreed except maybe the god part
Exactly, that's why this idea that if you have kids, they'll take care of you when you're older is ridiculous, like they're not already busy with their own lives like their parents were when they were the same age.
@@idotgotitme3280
I work in senior home healthcare. I have a 90 year old lady as one of my patients. Her daughter is so grateful for us aides, because whenever she's had to help her mother, they've butted heads and gotten into arguments. It can be a much better thing to have aides who are NOT family helping with daily care. The daughter is still actively involved in her mom's care but from a distance. They have security cameras to make sure the tough ol' bird hasn't fallen down and is safe. The adult children do watch the cameras for safety. It's actually works quite well. The adult children are like good managers for their mom's care.
If I decide to have a child because everybody does and I regret it later then I ruin my life AND (probably) the life of the innocent child. So I'd rather choose not to have a child. If I will regret it later, I can adopt or become a foster parent. Sorry for my english and greetings from Germany :)
There's nothing wrong with your English.
@@richardparker1338 oh thank you :))
🙌🏽🙏🏽
I was following the same principle recently but sadly there is a time when it might just be too late , was denkst du ?
Dont ruin your child's life. Pretty simple
Video : whether to have child or not.
90% of comments : *NO*
Because the only people sane enough to think this question through would inevitably come to one answer lol
This is modern natural selection process. Those who don't want have kids will not pass their genes. New way for our species to evolve. Egocentric people and those who don't have natural healthy instinct will vanished.
Generally, most videos about wether to have kids are not are usually filled with people who are childfree since they really don’t have anywhere else to vent.
I'd say it's your own choice.
😂
"Sleep is good, death is better; but of course, the best thing would to have never been born at all."
-Heinrich Heine
@@exudosid you are very welcome. If you are intrigued, check Antinatalism also.
Love this quote. Its bleakness is dark and really funny.
@Read Research Articles with Me For me, the greatest joy when reading comes from discovering that other people far more brilliant than myself have had similar thoughts and felt similar feelings. The experience of life is as well universal as it is individual; that's why we can have a bond across time with people long dead and buried through literature.
Not to be. That is the answer. 😉
Facts
Sometimes I wish I was never born if imma be honest
There's a thing I read a while ago that summed up my fear and doubt about having kids:
I can regret a lot of things in my life. I can regret a job, I can regret a home, I can regret a relationship. I can change all of those things with temporary consequences, but I can't change things if I have kids. Kids are the ultimate Ride or Die situation for me, I need to be really, really sure that I want them. My regrets can't be bigger than my desire to be a parent, and not knowing if that will happen is kind of terrifying...
This is exactly how I think. How can you compare the choice of having children marriage or other circumstances. This is the only part I don't agree with the video.
Exactly, the thing is that if you regret not having kids, you can just either have your biological kid or adopt one, but if you regrey having kid, there is no way back.
Also a great comment.
I personally have never had this yearning to become a parent. There are actually a lot of people out there who shouldn’t procreate at all. The biggest reason why people would stray away from having kids is the cost. I don’t believe that having kids is an achievement.
Never regretted a moment of it, 50 years CF.
Most people can have children, yet the majority shouldn't.
@@MichL_71 40 years never a regret.
I agree. its not the meaning of life.
Indeed having children is not an achievement. Raising children that become successful, however, is a grand achievement. I can't fault anybody for trying.
This video may have focused on the topic of children, but the underlying themes of universal suffering were very poignant. What an excellent way to convey the concept of choice, regret, and inevitable disappointment.
Exactly, I got pissed while reading through the comments and everyone seems to be concentrated on the example used to conceptualize the main theme of discussion. You don't have to have a PhD to decipher this. To paraphrase Elinor Ostrom "The most compelling theoretical arguments are those that have the proportional power to explain a diversity of situations" and that is what this video has done.
@@muizzo5040 Same. Lol everyone's just patting themselves on the back for their decision to not have their own children. Feel like they missed the point of the video honestly.
I live by the phrase, “Life is hell and then you die.” Some have been horrified at this philosophy but I think it’s realistic. When something truly horrible happens to you in life, a dear relative is diagnosed with M.S. , you get cancer then you don’t take it personally but realize this is life and deal with it the best you can. Of course, many can’t look at life ‘s realities and resort to religion, conspiracy theories,etc.
Facts
Ugh, seeing how I was raised...yeah, some people aren't meant to be parents. Don't do it because EVERYONE else is doing it, PLEASE don't. Don't let your child hate you because of it. Become a parent because it's something you want to be and are willing to work with a significant other to get through it. Your child should ALWAYS be your priority when you're raising them. Keyword: RAISE.
Darn. This was hard to read. I’ve always remember being neglected and made fun of when I was prolonged assaulted as a child, whenever I’m trying to talk about my problems or denying to be abused further, they’ll mark me as “selfish” and he’ll would come down. Putting a child as a priority it’s out of my imagination
If your kids don’t hate you, then they will hate something else. Doesn’t matter. But without kids humans cease to exist.
@@5th-Season there's 8 billions humans on this Earth. Humans will live on regardless of our choice to have children or not as there are a ton of people who want kids anyway
@@5th-Season chill, there still 8 billion more people, just date people who want children
@@5th-SeasonAnd you think i want humans to be here?
I'm a parent and I have to say, it's great seeing people in comments know what they want in life and having no regrets.
I've always found it sad hearing people pressure themselves into getting married and having children. You really don't have to do either of those things. It's entirely your choice. And choosing to have a child and get married doesn't make you better than anyone else, and vice versa. We are all making our way down our own paths in life and none of them are correct and none of them are wrong and we all end up at the same destination anyway.
Love this reply.
Actually you are better if you don't have children, because you have chosen not to destroy the planet.
@@jenniferlex9439 Oh? Are you avoiding using every little thing that destroys the planet? Already using the Internet, so I'm guessing not. Always find it funny when people step on their soap box about the planet, but do absolutely nothing to stop their own carbon footprint. Please keep your hypocrisy to yourself. Thanks.
@@jenniferlex9439 and risk of kids killing other people, so many kids turn out to crims and on death row
@@beaulieuc8910 that’s really very true, even not drug or alcohol, they may get depression and complaint about you gave birth to him/her. That’s what I observed from my friends, one friend complained their parent who made him a man with depression, another friend has two kids but one is a drug addict for more than 20 years.
Best of both words: be an awesome aunt/uncle to the children of your siblings and friends. It takes a village. be the village!
What if you don't have siblings or friends (local ones at least)?
We need to talk more about this, my Cool Uncles were more helpful than my folks in many ways.
@M Z are you talking about vaccines and circumcision
This is my plan actually. I feel like it makes the most sense for me.
This is actually perfect
It's incredibly toxic and damaging to have a baby primarily to save a failing relationship. The parents might resent the child for "ruining" their lives, while the child's self esteem might be non existent, and they could grow up feeling as though they're unlovable, and that no one really understands them. 💔😞
Be a wise person and you'll find wise person that understand you
What you said happened to me too, parents...😔
same, my parents were unhappily married and thought I would fix them, 2 kids later and they are finally divorced and have left a gigantic burning lack of self esteem mark on everybody.
You should only have kids if both you and your fiance are of stable and mentally fit for the challenge. If either one of you grew up in trauma, are emotionally unstable, or immature you shouldn't reproduce. There are many great benefits to having kids and sense of fulfillment. Conservatives have the advantage in these aspects. You can go without kids but human nature will kick in and you will have regret and be alone. (Prodomently in females) The more you stray away for traditional values and human nature. The more you will suffer and hurt those around you. We already see this today with the current decline in the west.
@Tom Jones Im sorry, what?
Even if a marriage were to be revived by having a baby, it iis still a selfish act and does not protect the child against suffering in its own life. Having children should not be a means to an end.
We chose not to have kids, we have never regretted it. we love our life.
@Oritra Kar and al ot of old people who had children are also alone
@@an.amap1318 This is even worse
Yay 🤗
@@an.amap1318 and a lot of people die in freak accidents. You can’t live your life expecting the worst. A good parent wouldn’t have to worry about their children abandoning them.
@@Delete240 do you understand that children are not obliged to be stuck with you? They have their lives to live.
I don't know how anyone can study human behaviour and still think that there should be more of us.
Not having children was one of the best decisions my husband & I have ever made. No regrets whatsoever.
How long since you are married? Will you stay together for ever?
@@gevillarrealgzz Easy, take the 300.000 bucks you saved by not having a child and pay somebody take care of you.
@@ChristianMeyer I have 2 childrens and I love my father and mother.... We care about family by love... My brothers same... Money isnt focus in family but people and stay together. Be safe everybody.
@@gevillarrealgzz Food for thought: what guarantee do you have that if you have children that they will be there to take care of you?
• they will have jobs and families of their own
• what if one of them are born with serious mental/physical impairment and they need to be cared for
• there are many lonely folks in care homes who have kids that have just dumped them there
• regardless you have to save for retirement
• you can sacrafice everything and have no guarantee that your children take care of you. Even if they are great it's still a lot to ask of them.
Of course it's not so black and white and there are a lot of children who care for their parents, but why role that dice? I plan to save and invest as much as I can, choose a very comfortable and reputable home, and I'll go whither away in there when the time is right.
This is just my thought process and it's not for everyone.
Your forefathers though must screaming to you, hoping you'd hear, to have children and you owe them that as they gave you a body. People are so selfish, let it be.
I knew I didn’t want kids when I was still a kid myself. I’m almost 40 and I 100% stand by my decision.
52 and SAME!
Hi there, I'm 22 and i want to be CF.. since you are in your 40's , how does it feels not to be around with people ? Does it feel boredom and loneliness?
@@theviewfinder1652 I'm an introvert, so I don't need to be around other people most of the time. Does not having kids make me feel lonely though? No, not at all. I REALLY don't want kids though. I have some friends who didn't want kids until they were almost 40. Now they have kids and they say they'd regret it if they didn't. Everyone is different.
It's common for people to say they don't want kids because of career or lifestyle, but a lot of them end up regretting that choice later. If your reason for not wanting kids is that you just simply don't want to deal with children, then you're probably making the right choice.
@@theviewfinder1652 I am 40 and my wife is 36. We enjoy our time together and apart by engaging in our own activities. People tend to live in separate fish bowls when they hit a certain age and you might only see your longtime friends once a year as people are busy with families or demanding careera. If you do not want kids that is ok. I would suggest getting a hobby outside of work such as running,lifting, kayaking,fishing,painting etc. I personally like to run,kayak,and fish.
@@clicheguevara5282 I like to see people but I truly value alone time. I usually will engage in hobbies like fishing,kayaking,and running. I have not been running lately though.lol
I don't want anyone to inherit my anxiety. I have learned to cope with it myself (just), but I couldn't bear my child suffering as I have.
I have decided not to have children or not to marry 15 years ago when I was 23. Still can't believe that this is a "taboo" topic today in 2021
Indeed,but happy to see like minded people here.
Parenting is not for everyone and thats okay. I for one have chosen not to have my own, but instead got a stepchild and that works wonderful for me. Of course people (mostly women) tend to think that Im weird for not having my own biological children but hey, I am happy and the child is happy, thats what counts.❤
I do agree on having a step child from my logic if we have a step child and even if we fail at parenting we won't be wasting a new life for me that's the best way to go around to be a parent.
You’re not weird, you’re a kind person.
@Deez Nwuutz just the thought of it makes me angry
Aww you are a really kind person
@@veryconfused9768 Thank you🥰
I definitely want to have kids but I want to make sure I’m okay mentally first. Getting the help I need. I don’t want to repeat past family’s mistakes and want to break generational curses
Thank you, i respect you for coming to this mature and logical decision.
This is my goal as well! May we be successful in figuring out how. I feel we are quite blessed to live in a time with more access to tools to help us accomplish such a task ❤️
Just remember trama changes the DNA so keep that in mind too.
I agree completely and will do the same.
That is a well thought out plan! That’s taking responsibility for yourself and your unborn child.
I always said I would never have kids, at 32 I said I want a baby and had one. Now I’m 37 and want another. I never held a child, changed a child. I was so anti children. I’m so happy I changed my mind. Having a child is the most wonderful thing I have ever done.
I can relate to this! 😅
Please explain what makes it wonderful. I always dreamed of having a daughter, but all I see is videos that makes it seem like parenting sucks
I have been seeing so many childfree people say it’s the best choice they’ve made and they don’t regret it. Seeing as you have, I’m curious. What’s so great about kids ?
sometimes, people say it's the most wonderful thing that ever happens since they have no choice but to take care of it.
until it growns up to be a drunk driver, conartist, murderer, narcissist...
i’m 31 and knew i didn’t want to have kids when i was one. then i learned about genetics and it was solidified. some severe illnesses run in my family and i got lucky to only have non-life threatening ones, who am i to roll the dice and potentially have to raise a child and watch them suffer more than i did? no thanks.
Such a beautiful girl like you to not have children ?
@@intice9585 so, by your logic, you can have children if you look a certain way? Ohh, now I wanna have no children even more
Same
@@intice9585 are you Hitler reincarnated?
Humans are perfectly capable of regretting anything. Choices are meaningless when one is unable to stay content with the outcome.
You probably mean ’content’?
Yep, that’s it.
See that flying out the window right now? That's called logic. when you catch the horny that's no longer required.
@@atmatey I guess they both kinda work, same idea
Freudian typo
I’ve never wanted kids and of course everyone thinks I’m just being stupid. 32 years old now and I’m so glad I’m still free to do what I like when I like. 32 more of those please 👍🏻
40 years no regrets.
I think I'm going this path
Good call. I always think my parents should’ve never had children considering how much they complain. They would’ve been a lot happier staying childless but alas.
@@ProfFibi then you would not be here commenting
Exactly twice as old as you at 64. Not having children was the single best decision I ever made. Period.
Most of my friends with children are living some version of miserable.
I only had the one child, my 19 year old daughter who is happy, healthy and has never wanted siblings. I also had a traumatic birth with her which partly influenced my decision to stick to one. Having her was the best thing that’s ever happened to me and I could not imagine a life without her. I can also understand the new generation of people who are against having kids especially in these current times. It’s unfair imo to bring a child into a world of COVID and environmental disaster. Not to mention the stress and expense that goes into raising them. I applaud these people including myself who resist societal pressure.
Having sex is the pleasurable bit, then pregnancy happens, then the pain of childbirth!! I believe that it you are going to have children, that you should have a nice House to raise them in, be financially stable and teach your toddler and young child the correct social skills before they start primary school!! No one wants to see their son or daughter lonely in this life, because they don't have the proper social skills for them to make friends!! You also have to be a decent parent to your child. A child deserves the right to live in a house, while they are attending both primary and secondary School, they also deserve to have a decent breakfast before they go to school every morning and then a nice hot dinner and a dessert, when they come home in the evening!! They also have the right to live, in a house with decent central heating and lighting!! What really annoys me is that some men get their girlfriend, wife or partner pregnant and they end up not being able to provide for their child as parents!! From evelynne Lavelle
@@evelynnelavelle2015 I have been able to do all that and more thank you. My daughter constantly tells me I have been a wonderful mother and wouldn’t have wanted it any different. I haven’t been perfect but there again who is? We have an indelible bond and probably closer than any other mother daughter. She is all I live for and even now she is a young woman of 20 I still want to spoil and dote her. My partner hasn’t been a great father to either of his daughters but he’s been there for the emotional support and we are still together 22 years later. I don’t think there’s many couples who can equal that. You are right though, a child deserves the basics, a good home, a good education, clothing and love. If you can’t provide that then reconsider having children in the first place.
This is cool.
@@evelynnelavelle2015 EuropeEuropea European here, you are spot on! In Europe we have universal health care so no need to worry about medical bills, college is inexpensive, students loan are unheard of and even so nobody wants to have kids, reason? The huge responsability, the worry and many other things that having a child entails no kids is far more relaxing and sleeping at night worry free is heavenly ( love my 2 countries Spain and France)
This is a scary world. I wouldnt want to bring anyone into it.
I’m not childless, I’m child FREE.
Love this one, it's a great choice of words ❤
Absolutely. The difference in definition is important. Childless: someone who wants kids but for whatever reason can’t have them. Child Free: Someone who made a conscious decision of never having children and more importantly someone who simply never wanted any.
True
I’m in medical school and whenever the topic of family comes up and i say i don’t want kids everyone just gets weirded out. I’m more weirded out by the fact that when i ask them why THEY want to have kids, they don’t even actually know. When you know what happens to the body when you get pregnant, as beautiful as it may be to bring a person into the world, it is still a terrifying thing. And even if society tells you that it is what one MUST do, it isn’t the rest of society that will suffer the possible complications of having a kid. The physical, mental, emotional (and monetary) toll may well be beyond what some people can handle. It is definitely important to know who you are and where your values lie, and sometimes ignoring the “norm” is better for everyone in the end.
I agree.
Life is a risk my darling, it’s the same as choosing a dangerous profession such as becoming a firefighter or police officer.
Those people don’t have to do it for us, they don’t have to risk their lives and save everyone but they do it anyway because that’s who they are and who they choosing to be every day.
I have no regrets about having my two kids, not because my life lack meaning or easy necessarily. In fact, I came from adversity.
I thrive to learn something new every single day to be a better version of myself, to be a better parent for my children.
To live or not to live your truth.
I don’t have a problem with people who chose not to have children for reasons that bigger than themselves.
They may be pursuing world-changing ambitions that they wouldn’t otherwise accomplish if they had children or they have concerns for the environment or they have disabilities or health issues or they would rather adopt. All of those reasons are valid, however, I’m bothered by women when they say their bodies will change. This is a strange explanation..., I mean, we may be hit by the bus tomorrow and be deformed, some things are much worse than giving birth.
So, the lack of convincing reasoning on your part is apparent.
@@vkrgfan One shouldn’t have to explain why they are the way they are, and someone’s reason is not “more valid” than another’s for not having kids. I apologize for butting in, but for you to say that you don’t have a problem with people not having kids because they have a reason while accusing OP of not having enough reason for having kids proves the “illusion of the right choice” message stated in the video. One not wanting to have kids just because they don’t want to is just as valid as a reason for not having kids because they don’t want to pass on hereditary diseases.
@@isav7305 You've misunderstood my comment, people that care about their "bodies" and grow immature into adulthood are total Narcissists.
I'm glad women like that won't have children and they shouldn't, the poor child would be living in the misery of feeling guilty that they are the reason that mommy's body is no longer a perfect standard because she had to give childbirth. A child with a mother like that will develop anxiety and insecurity about their existence. It's not about whether or not the woman wants to have a child, it's about her Narcissistic attitude.
There are plenty of women that decided not to have children, but later in life adopted kids. You don't have to be blood-related to care for another human being.
@@vkrgfan Whoa there buddy, seems you’ve edited your comments to add the phrase “all reasons are valid”. However, I’ll give you a pass for improving your statement since I’m in strong favor of adoption. I still don’t think it was fair of you to tell OP that their reason wasn’t convincing enough since no one should have to convince anybody regarding their personal life choices as long as it doesn’t hurt anybody.
Edit: Upon re-reading your argument, I would like to clarify something: Do you dislike narcissistic women who have children, women who want to maintain a “good-looking” body but blame getting it ruined on their kids, or women who don’t want to have kids because they don’t want to “ruin” their bodies?
As a man, child-free & in his 40's, I went on a date, just to see, maybe a companion, but within a couple of questions it turned to "do you want children?" I said "No way, this line of genetics stops with me", haha she appreciated my honesty. Within the week she unmatched me 😂
Despite being financially incapable, some people choose to have children. I find that stupid because they are not thinking about what kind of life they are going to give their children. Instead they do it for selfish reasons.
"There are no solutions, only trade-offs"
- Thomas Sowell.
Pick your poison well.
Surprising to see a Thomas Sowell reference on here 👍
@@bones23jones Why?
If only that quote applies to my math problem sets.
@@Sir-Kay LOVE that "uncle"! One of my top 10 humans.
@@philnightjar1971 😬
Anyone who wants to have kids they can and those who don't should be left alone. I'm 23 and I'm from India and I grew up in a very crowded country as you may guess. I never got anything at once and had to work for it and still I'm not remotely close to where I want to be in life and this is one of the reasons I don't want to have kids. It's just embedded in me and I think anyone who doesn't want kids should be left alone.
You are just 23, long way to go, you can decide after 15 years.
And when you get there? You will want more... This is called toxic feminism. In the end what you worked for will be donated to your 9 cats or to some stranger or the lady who will take care of you later. Often mature women become very frustrated because of what they could achieve in younger days instead of running after money. For a man its easy but for woman 40 or 45 its most likely game over. But hey, its your life we leave you alone just saying...
Indian here and I literally am with the same mindset. India has so many mouths. Why bring another? I am not against the idea of people having children, rather it is about me not wanting to have them. A lot of things to do in this life and children are a huge responsibility. Harsh my friend, I get you. Good luck to you and your life ahead.
@@alexgrazie93 well I'm sorry if I came as a woman to you but I am a man.
@@jeevananand4810 well exactly. I know alot of people my age and older than me who don't want kids and feel strongly about it.
I was already 33 when I got married (my husband was 25), and had prohibitive health issues. We were told that any child of ours would have X% chance of developing disease Y, Z% chance of developing disease A... genetic odds that we didn't like. We were old enough to know that no parent is perfect, and knew ourselves well enough to know that being anything short of perfect as parents would destroy us. By the time I went through surgical menopause at age 42, we had settled the question of having children. Now I'm 60 and he's almost 52; and at no time in our lives have we ever regretted not having children. We've often said we're glad we didn't, given how the world has changed since we were newlyweds.
I will be 28 soon and I'm currently in the middle of the "have children/don't have children" dilemma. Didn't expect this video to help me so much.
"Suffering is inevitable, no matter what you choose" was exactly what I needed to hear today. Thank you!!!
Do not have children. It's not about you, it's about the children you bring here. Just sit back, breathe and allow yourself to ask a big question "AFTER ALL THE SHIT I'VE BEEN THROUGH, IS THIS THE LIFE I RECOMMEND TO MY CHILDREN?"
@@lonesurvivor815 My answer has been "no".
I have two sisters who couldn't wait to have kids but they were clearly less happy after having them. It makes it much harder to get divorced, too, if you need to. You can always adopt if you have regrets later....But so far I've never come across anyone who had regrets about staying childfree.
I'm not trying to horrify you but death while pregnancy is a real situation many women died while giving birth and have to be aware about the consequences of postpartum disorders and health issues.
@@Kumari_klso freaking true. I have 2 friends who almost die.d during giving birth. One of them got blood from a donor and with horific consequences. Very very bad. She is still very sick, even after 17 years now
People have children as a means to heal their inner child... shouldn't they heal it in themselves first before having them? It's cruel to "test on animals" so why risk the transfer of generational trauma??
Based. I wouldn't have had kids for this reason, but two women felt they knew better...
Or maybe people like me had kids because we wanted a family .🙄
They're probably not aware that's the motivation they're on. It's sad.
no....people have kids because they slammed their wet parts together and nature took its course..........
You took the words out of my mouth. There’s nothing as painful for a child as having to see generational trauma passed on, and realizing what that was as an adult.
I wish more people understood that you don’t have to have children to be happy and had more acceptance over someone not wanting to have children. Please don’t just assume everyone can or wants to have children.
I also like how this video explains this topic of life, it’s not talked about often but is true in most things in life.
Yeah it's a very big misconception that you have to have children or you won't be happy, even getting married is not important too but society...
But people are getting wiser day by day so hope or a better world
People are far too self-indulgent to not know this. Rapid decline in births show people are just fine without kids.
I just found out I'm pregnant. I was fine without kids before, but I'm super happy after the news... It's what you make of it and no shame either way imo
@@iamwhoyousayiam6773 You will be even happier in 4 years when child can start giving love back to you.
Nathan K nowadays there are already too many people in the world, so it’s not like we’re going to run out. And I know some people want to pass their genes on but with how many kids there are with no parents, there is no real reason to pass genes on except if you really want too. There are plenty of kids to adopt.
My husband can't have children and I've never liked children. So we make the perfect match.
I think that statement is bad. Everyone believe like Children. But not everyone want to have them in this world that's filled with evil. "I don't like Children vs I don't want children" is two different thing.
@@emmanuelimumolen8660 youre wrong. I hate children, they are so annoying. I agree that babies are cute, but doean't mean I like babies, I hate them too.
@@lonesurvivor815 saying you hate children shows you hate yourself because you were once a child.
@@lonesurvivor815 saying you hate children shows you hate yourself because you were once a child.
@@emmanuelimumolen8660 that's correct, I was a bad kid, I dont want to have a kid like myself.
When I was 25 I was told to have children otherwise i’d regret; when I was 30, I was told, your clock is ticking! When I was 35, my in laws were telling my parents to tell me to have children 👶 now I am 40, I think people stopped asking. 😄I knew since I was a kid, I wouldn’t have children, if I really want one to share my love - I’ll adopt. And if one day I regret - that’s ok too. 🤗🤗
100% same bro.
yeah its ok to regret it one day
I said to my parents "you are never too old as a man to begin with it(some men have children when they are 60)" and the dicussion was closed.👍Btw, For women they say "the clock is ticking" and "complications rise when you get older", but have you ever wondered why that is? In this society our body is bombarded with crap, crap we eat and other crap (like all sorts of cosmetics and others, crap literally is everywhere). In both cases(men and women): detoxify, stay healthy, heal👊
I've been married for 9 years and most people we know have had children already (many got divorced due to that), yet, they ask us "when are you going to get kids?". Since the beginning (and still) our reply is "never". How hard is for most people to understand that some others simply don't want to make new humans to "feel complete", that having kids would be misery. Parents often think child free couples are missing out, what I think is, I am traveling the world, seeing and experiencing things most "traditional families" don't because they are too busy or too poor paying education, going to jobs they hate to feed their kids, for me, parents are missing out the real life.
As Alaine said Life is suffering and you will regret every decision you've made but why bring children into this nonsensical , pain maze also without their consent, why forcefully shed them from eternal bliss of nothingness.
@@omerozgurcelik907 I miss my blissful nothingness
Having and not having a child is a great choice. Non is missing out.
The reason to have children, as I see it, is for making more of attractive, beautiful, and inspiring people, if that is you to begin with, and, the matter of heritage,…. who do you want to make for the future of the world. Racial and ethnic heritage is something to appreciate, and that goes for all types.
@@emmanuelimumolen8660 Lol keep telling yourself that
Those bunnies would have a lot more children than just one.
I know, they have MULTIPLE births, not just one! 😂🐰
It's not the point of the video
I am sure, if bunnies knew about contraceptives, they'd have much fewer babies 😅
Especially during lockdown
They actually had a litter of eight but only kept one because it's "too expensive" to raise all of them in the modern society, plus it's simply impossible to afford all of their future education, especially when they get to Uni. So the rest were sold to meat farms and were slaughtered by the time they reached a year old. (Yes, this shit turned dark real quickly, as is the world we live in)
I hate having to explain myself when I say I don't want kids, like I have to convince the other person about my decision. And even then most will downplay it as "don't worry, we all thought that at one point, I'm sure you'll change your mind later though" or some shit
You don't owe an explanation to anyone for your choice and freedom. Simply ignore those despicable ones and give a cold shoulder. If they cannot respect your individualism, why should you respect them!
@@anewlife5846 i would answer, maybe you are right, maybe i think differently later, i could even be more convinced not to have children then now...
I’m never marrying, dating, or having children. I’m happier on my own
Excellent decision. I agree 💯👍
I wish you happiness for a long time!
Friendship is the optimum in life
There are two ways of being unhappy: not getting what you want and finally getting what you want.
Is that yours?
I'm about to tattoo it on my face
@@thereisnosanctuary6184 for sure not, but I cannot remember where I have it from.
so true
I don't want to involve with other humans. Even if I feel lonely(everyone does at some point), only a short interaction with some friends or even a stranger would be enough to get me going. For people like me, having kids is a self-inflicted suffering. Even though I love watching kids play/smile/do their stuff, I know that I cannot raise them properly. Everyone has to know their own limits first before marriage or having kids.
As a side note, not sure about the reliability of articles I have seen, but saw some studies where they say having less kids is most efficient in becoming eco-friendly.
Exactly how I feel
I admire you, if you don't feel ready you don't have to do it, more people should realize not having kids sometimes its the best for the person they are talking about. They are not gonna take care of them after all.
@@musicy.8638 Agreed. People need to understand about themselves first before involving another human's life. Marriage and having kids should not be treated same as impulse buying.
I Applaud you my good viewer.
Exactly!
I can list 1000 reasons why I probably shouldn’t have kids but the main reason is it’s seems selfish forcing someone to live because I was lonely
I'm a woman in my upper 40's who never wanted kids. I have no regrets. Life is a whole lot easier without kids. In Canada, child-free couples now outnumber couples with children. The child-free way of life is growing so fast.
It is easier.....???
Maybe the human race is finally figuring out its own best interests
Haven't even watched the video yet but....Not going to have children. Period. If I ever do have a kid I would adopt one so I can actually help someone instead of bringing in another life to this world when there are so many in the foster care system that needs rescuing.
I would most likely adopt a teenager too coz they are usually lost in the system whereas younger kids are more likely to get adopted.
But I'm not even going to think about it until I'm at least in my 40s or 50s.
If I ever adopt a child it would with the purpose of HELPING Someone. Not expecting them to be the source of my happiness. You don't need to have children in your life to be happy that is just boomer propaganda.
👏👏👏👏👏👏
Hey, I think you need to meet a certain criteria for adopting. So make sure you have that down before you move ahead with your decision pal.
How stunning & brave of you. 😬
thank you I'll look into that. I'm only 20 and this is a LONG way to go so I'm not that focused on it right now. But thanks I'll def keep that in mind :)
@@AR-ty7nv So am I! Great to see our generation looking out for things like these. Best wishes.
The thing they missed: if life is nothing but wrong decisions and suffering, why would I want to pass that on?
It's not and the video isn't saying that, it is only saying that there will be misery and suffering either way but there will also be a lot of happiness and joy, for either choice.
@@perspecteve 2 decades of being alive and I'm still waiting for the joy and happiness bit to start
@@matheussanthiago9685 I'm sorry man. :(
@@matheussanthiago9685 You can’t wait for happiness and purpose. You have to go after it.
@Oritra Kar
Why would we need our species to survive?
After being traumatized mentally abused beaten punished looked down on devalued , suddenly we expect the same abused people to relive the trauma through their own kids ? Sure …..
There are millions of kids already here who desperately need parents, and I wish people would stop having them...out of narcissism, carelessness, because that's just what you do, whatever the predominant non-reasons are...until these kids are taken care of. I am especially irritated by people who spend who knows how much money on IVF, because they supposedly "want to be parents so badly". I wonder if they ever think about how the kids already here feel about that. I doubt it ever crosses their minds.
I agree 1000 %
So many people that I know of call me careless and jump at me for not wanting to have kids. I want to adopt.
@@otiliaiolanda8364 Whenever I hear adoptive parents talk about their kids, they generally seem to be more joyful than "regular" parents. They talk about them being a gift, that the kids have given them much more than they have given. I think yours is a fine choice, and will probably be a very satisfying one.
Thank You very much
I never asked to be born. Why would I do that to someone else?
Exactly. #Antinatalism
You regret being born because you are born
- the video
Can't do that; it's either adoption or childfree.
@@J11_boohoo no one can regret not being born, because that person does not exist to regret it. Loophole.
@@purplemonsoon8376 them not lucky bastards
Issue is no one thinks from child's point. Do they want you as parent? Do they want to be born and suffer this life that includes forced education system, working everyday, cancer, heartbreak etc? Life is hard and cruel. So answer is no, there is no reason that is not selfish to have children.
sure. in the middle ages reproducing should've been banned
What if we've lived much like the distant posterity depicted in Wells's The time machine? At least one would be haunted by the anxiety of being eaten at any point everyday by his cousins.
@Oritra Kar yeah, it was pure sarcasm😂
@Misha Sunne Most are dealt the wrong hand.
I don't really have a problem with that as long as they know the gravity of their responsibility
This is me. I'm 42 years old and still don't want to have kids. And I don't feel any regret thus far.
I mean, I technically do want kids, but there are so many factors to take into consideration, like a probable environmental collapse, do I really want to put a child into this harsh world, am I willing to raise a human being for the rest of my life...? It's a decision that shouldn't be taken lightly
Yeah bigger decision than most think
The world hasn't been milder. Like, ever...
@@jonathanrosado8874 Sure, but things are far more complex now, and if there was to be an environmental collapse, which is what we are currently heading, if things don't change it could be very well our doom... and that's novelty
@@jonathanrosado8874 There are over 7 billion people alive on a planet that is running out of fresh water and burning to the ground by millions of acres every year. Every forest that burns releases massive amount of CO2 and reduces biomass that is capable of absorbing it. Do you understand that? Not only are we burning the candle from both ends, we're throwing gasoline on it. Its time to snap out of it for the sake of the next generation. This planet is obviously doomed. I fled 2 wildfires in California 2 years in a row. That's fucking crazy and it's going to get a lot worse.
I'm relieved to hear you're a thinking person. The United States is collapsing. Our economy is collapsing. The ecosystem is collapsing. It would be evil to bring a child into this world.
Its nice to see that the cons of not having kids do not seem like cons to me at all lol
Well said! I agree
Yup! Each of these arguments can easily be knocked down with “children don’t exist to please you”.
More money for tats
Right! Like I can respond to every single one of these cons with an upbeat attitude. Allow me to demonstrate:
-“missing out”: Ah yes, nothing like the crying, screaming, and putting up with stinky nappies 24/7
-loneliness/boredom/constant distractions: Boi, there is a long list of hobbies I wanna do and 195 countries in the world for me to visit. Not to mention the different pets me and my s.o. plan to adopt.
-sentimental longing: According to many people who have worked in nursing homes, the kids don’t even visit their parents (maybe just once a year but that’s it). Plus, what’s the guarantee you’ll be comforted by their presence? Maybe they’ll just be discussing your will and arguing on how to divide your properties amongst themselves.
yesss
if you decide not to have children and are 'happy' then you are a stronger person that most. society will demand you have kids and be smug about it
If someone really doesn't want kids it's fine. But it probably doesn't feel good realizing you do want kids late in life when your biology isn't as capable of producing children
@@egg2520 well it's better to regret not having kids than regret having them.
@@egg2520 pressures of society don't phase me.
@@egg2520 life is full or regret either way so go with your gut.
American society is more liberal now than ever before so why would there be such a big surprise if a single person or married couple decided not to have a child or children? You have to live your life the way you want to live it not through another person's idea of how you should live it. Be strong! Be bold! Never give up! Never give in!
I knew by 21 I would never have kids and it ended a few relationships which was tough at the time but now I'm older and I see that kid having a melt down on the street I know not having them is one of my biggest achievements. Also seeing how terribly your average person treats their ex partners and the worst of all, those that have kids with that ex partner that they now have to deal with for the next 20 years. I'm quite happy with the freedom I have and will never give it up completely no matter how special a person might be to me.
With rising food prices, and rising prices everywhere, having less mouths to feed helps to save money.
You're right. It's a tragedy how few parents realize this.
Make sand cassies
My main problem with this video is that it focuses on the misery / happiness of the parents and ignore the position of the children except for an extremely brief mention.
Yes. Exactly.
Fucking this.
I have decided a long time ago that I personally don't want to have the responsibility of another human life, and my parents cant seem to understand that (lol). To some it's a privilege, and that's great. To me, it's not. Because I don't want to carry a never ending worry about a life that is ultimately out of my control. there are many more reasons but that's one of my main ones.
They say if you dont have kids they no one will look after you when you are older. The truth is, even kids doesnt mean they will always look after you.
True. Look at all the people in nursing homes who hardly ever get visits from their children or grandchildren, so sad...
I have zero interest in having children and am as certain as can be that I will not regret it. I love my life and don't want any distractions from it that I can help.
I've been told on numerous occasions that I would be a great father but I don't have kids and don't want any.
That's great. Then you choose not to have them from a position of power rather than a position of weakness. Respect
Same here!
I'm a preschool teacher and many people have told me I would be a wonderful mom..
However, I'm not sure if I will have any children!
It's better to regret to not having kids then having kids then regret having them.
@CHAOSCANDIDATE it is that simple, for reasons illustrated by another comment here. If you have children and regret it, you've not only ruined your own life but also quite likely theirs (which is arguably even worse). If you don't have children and regret it, it's just you. You haven't wronged anyone but yourself, and maybe you can even adopt some foster children and actually add value instead of creating yet another human.
I agree!
@CHAOSCANDIDATE I’m not young. It is that simple.
@CHAOSCANDIDATE lol you don't know what you're talking about dude
@CHAOSCANDIDATE lmao try not eating for a month and we will see which urge is stronger. People ain't just straight up dying from not having children
32 and no children, living the best life!
"You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance." - Franklin P. Jones
btw your videos are great, big inspiration for me! :)
No, they are dirty, evil, and mean. Literally minions of Satan.
Yea but sadly a lot of parents not learn, just beat the s* out of it whenever they want 👀
@@kuroroedamame true. Its kinda sad how we all could relate to physical abuse. I would never wish that upon my child or anyone else.
@@kuroroedamame These sayings are guides for smart/contemplating people only. Morons will stay morons regardless of having children or not.
First ask yourself "Are you worthy of being parents?"
and I think a lot of people don't do that
Wrong question. It's not about being worthy. A child is not a trophy to signal your worth. The right question is, "am I competent enough to be a decent parent?" Having children is a responsibility that you accept for yourself and hopefully get some joy from. Feeling worthy or not will not solve the problem of having to be competent as a parent.
@@andre.1984 Agree. Though there is a problem with asking this question. Most people will answer 'yes' to this question, even if they are objectively incompetent. And they may not even be lying consciously: they are probably just convinced of their competence.
@@mrzukunft Yeah, although typically, if are asking yourself that question seriously, you're already open to the possibility of a negative answer.
The sad thing is that doesn’t help. A bad parent would still think “Yes”
The School of Life always make me cry with how gently and beautifully things are explained. The content is so honest, yet calmly breaks down life's toughness!!! This channel always has golden knowledge! Thank you so much for always posting!!!
Beautifully spoken, so glad you are still voicing these Alain!
Have kids is not the same as being a parent. I would totally have kids. Being a parent is something I don't feel like I could ever do properly. It's a whole person you're shaping. Thats too much work, too much time, and even if I would end up being a good parent society do the work of damaging their minds. Also, I doon't think the world needs more humans, anyways...
You should only have kids if both you and your fiance are of stable and mentally fit for the challenge. If either one of you grew up in trauma, are emotionally unstable, or immature you shouldn't reproduce. There are many great benefits to having kids and sense of fulfillment. Conservatives have the advantage in these aspects. You can go without kids but human nature will kick in and you will have regret and be alone. (Prodomently in females) The more you stray away for traditional values and human nature. The more you will suffer and hurt those around you. We already see this today with the current decline in the west.
The comment I was looking for! Perfect! BTW Aline, are u Brazilian? (based on your user name)
This generation is to focused on themselves and lazy, they make so many ridiculous excuses to not have kids, it's incredible 😂😂
@@punkrock1989 a lot smarter than previous generations for not having kids “just because it’s supposed to be that way”, that’s for sure.
@@punkrock1989 lmao how is it being narcissistic if they don't require their copy to be happy?
Many want the benefits of having children but not the responsibility. You get what you give and not even that is guaranteed.
What's one of the "benefits"?
I have 3........it's mostly a lot of tedious hard work and plenty of stress with some times of joy built in....lol
What in the world are the benefits of having children?
@@cometcourse381 What do you think motivates people to have children? They think it will make them happier, give them a purpose and fulfillment, give them a retirement plan, give them kodak moments, for unconditional love....Why would people keep doing something that they don't think benefits them?
@@Infoseek777 Then why did you have children?
@@harrisindustries314 Started at 21.......unplanned...
Love my kids, don't get me wrong. But it's not all the joy and bliss everyone tells you it's going to be. It's hard work. Like marriage is hard work.
Then they become teenagers and it adds triple the stress.
“Who is going to take care of you when you get old?” - last resort of a question when I have debated all the others. This is why you become a mature, great person. You work hard to have a good retirement, get insurance for assisted living and being a good person you can create lifetime friendships that will actually care for you better than your burden child. At the point a child is going to “take care of you”, they are basically raising their own family or focusing on their careers. They will put me in a home anyway. - Also hate the one of “is unconditional love”. Sure. For the first years. Until they start forming a mind and opinions of their own. Is SELFISH to bring a child just to be loved unconditionally. Sounds to me you need to love yourself more.
I agree, but if you live a long life, there's no guarantee that your friends will still be alive
About the unconditional love is really hilarious , even my mother didnt give a damn aboutme, the true unconditional love comes from a dog. Trust me
I just wanted to add that many parents end up in nursing homes and sadly the kids and grandkids are too busy to visit. I work in a nursing home and I have seen this happen on many occasions. And I have met a few elderly persons who live alone. This one lady was 80 years lives alone and had 7 children and many grand children why because they moved far away to live. So the point I am making is life with children is no different from life without children.
You are so right. My mom lives in an elderly community and I visit her often, however, so many other residents complain about how they are so lonely because their children have other lives and don’t visit. It’s so sad 😢
I can already tell this link is getting posted on r/childfree. Also, hello to all my cf bretheren.
Would I want to have a child? Yea sure
Do I have the time and money to maintain a child? No
Easy decision I have ever made
Wow.. never thought of it this way..Lol
I had a dream once that I was middle aged with a family and when I looked in the mirror I was tired and miserable. I don’t think parenting is something I’m cut out for
I’ve never had a moment of wanting children, I’ve just never felt that inclination, and it’s only since my 40s (I’m 44) that random people have stopped telling me that ‘it’ll change when you meet the right person’. I guess they now think I’m past it, or maybe old enough to be trusted to mean what I say?! Either way it took a while but it’s definitely refreshing 😆
Given the current choices of humanity, perpetuating suffering is pretty much on the top of the list why I won't reproduce.
I'm battling hard with this at the moment. In principle, I would love to have kids, but the thought of bringing a child into this world (at least how I perceive it right now) and to cause it to suffer is unbearable to me. Me being the creator of the child and having made the conscious decision to bring it into the world.. I would feel responsible for its inevitable suffering and that I can't morally justify for myself. But I also think there are some personal issues regarding this world view that I have to sort out for myself first. It's complicated.
That, and when the cost can be $300,000+ given inflation over 18 years. It's increasingly hard to justify
@@Leisloth The world is in the best state that it has ever been for humanity right now.
@@RezhwAmanj 7.5 billion people and climbing with a looming climate crisis and mass extinctions. Humanity is oblivious heading for oblivion
Suffering always has and for the foreseeable future will continue to be a fundamental part of human existence. It's your optimism or pessimism for the future that dictates whether or not you should raise children.
This is one of my favourite school of life pieces and was very comforting. I've been struggling of late with the likelihood that I'll never have children. This puts things into perspective and gives me some solace, whatever happens.
You know, this makes so much sense!
Fear of missing out, wondering about what could have been..... it's all part of our existentialthought process.
Hope and expectations can lead to great misery.
I forgot about learning this in philosophy.
Thanks!
I don’t think Alain made a convincing case with misery involving not having kids, lol
Misery: "A lack of constant distraction/calls on one's time ..."
Somebody's trolling! XD
@@secularmonk5176 so true! And boredom??? No way, I'm out doing fun stuff
Lolol yeah that was a stretch.
Many people in nursing homes never get a visit from their children.
This was my first thought. None of the reasons I would be miserable from not having kids seemed compelling.
Maybe the society part, a tiny bit. in the face of my in-laws disapproving. But they are far, while a child would live in my own home and keep me from sleeping at night every night, so no thanks.
I’ve known for awhile now that I do not want to have children. First is that this world is pretty bad and seems it will be harder for generations to live as it goes on. But most importantly I don’t want my entire life to be about raising children. Sure it may sound selfish but I have a lot of dreams and goals I want to complete. I don’t think there is anything wrong with a peaceful life with me and my future partner without children. I commend those who decide to have children as it is the hardest job in the world. But it’s time we stop judging people for having kids or not. If you decide to have kids great! If you don’t then that’s great too!
🙌
When people think they'll regret it, they get pets..or visit relatives with kids, nephews without the hassle of actually raising them. That's a win.
But it's worse if you have kids and regret it, you can't undo it.
Some people simply "opt out" of parenhood once they regret and decide to abandon their children. That's even sadder.
Parents will regret having babies when they grow up, Babies will regret in living in this evil planet.
"when weighing up on how to lead our lives, we should work on knowing as much as possible about our own specific taste in misery."
that's dark af and I love it
As an antinatalist, the answer for me is a resounding 'no'.
I'm going to have several children in spite of you.
I never wanted to have kids but if I went around calling myself an anti-natalist, I surely would be a knob.
I'm also antinatalist although probably won't ever be financially comfortable or independent enough to have a choice anyway I would never look at where the future of humanity is headed and say "Yeah I'll bring another life into that".
@@harrysox2815 very mature answer
Hi. I really want to read a book on that. Do you know a good one?
Joys and sorrows of parenting. Mostly sorrows. Have fun.
I lived my entire life poor and now just have some money in my 30's. I'm not about to go back to that life of financial hardship. I'm tired, I want to live and be anxiety free and happy. I feel that I've earned it, I've worked very hard and struggled, now I want to enjoy life a little too.
There are so many kids without parents.
For me there is no real choice but to adopt a child. Simple reasoning.
@Oritra Kar That's probably also a valid point of view. In my personal opinion it is like for every child I produce, there is one without parents. And the kid might not be more strange then the pink blob coming out of my wife's cherry
@Oritra Kar even your child, that doesn't exist, they are child of your parents, not yours. You have not your own DNA, you have that from your ancestors. You are juts nothing, you just transfer genetics of your ancestors. There is a big probability, your child can look like your mother, father, grand parents etc.