Bear Market! & Kimberly Guilfoyle Scores $60K from Two-Minute Capitol Speech | The Daily Show

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  • čas přidán 14. 06. 2022
  • Wall Street enters a bear market, Kimberly Guilfoyle earned $60K for a two-minute speech at the Capitol on January 6th, and the U.S. faces a tampon shortage. #DailyShow #Comedy #TrevorNoah
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Komentáře • 1,4K

  • @debrajames6286
    @debrajames6286 Před rokem +1227

    When Kimberly Guilfoyle SCREECHED "The Best is Yet to Come" she was REFERRING to her PAYCHECK.

    • @jiukumite
      @jiukumite Před rokem +15

      Dya think she's the dom or the sub??? C'mon guys, throw out some theories!! 😁

    • @stevechance150
      @stevechance150 Před rokem +35

      $500 a second. That's $500 per second.

    • @oldrrocr
      @oldrrocr Před rokem +13

      waiting for her to flip on her dear DJTJ and boss baby... "I DIDN'T KNOW!!!"
      (whom can I cling onto next?)

    • @squadric7722
      @squadric7722 Před rokem +19

      No...she was reffering to indicments coming for them.

    • @karimaogden3875
      @karimaogden3875 Před rokem +17

      Kimberly "Gargoyle"!

  • @carloscorrea3191
    @carloscorrea3191 Před rokem +170

    “Guy who went louder” is the REAL MVP

  • @cieralove7755
    @cieralove7755 Před rokem +55

    "I've been talking for 2 minutes. You owe me 60k." @ 14:40 🤣

    • @notroll1279
      @notroll1279 Před rokem +1

      ...and unlike Ms. Guilfoyle, Desi has learned and rehearsed her stuff....

  • @Dani_Capozzi
    @Dani_Capozzi Před rokem +399

    Desi is correct. Make it a man's problem and see how quickly it is resolved.

    • @Jartran72
      @Jartran72 Před rokem

      You act as if men have no problems. men have tons of problems no one wants to solve. That is some lame gender bashing from you there

    • @tuxedobob2
      @tuxedobob2 Před rokem +3

      So now you *do* want to talk about your period with men?

    • @jbwolf4
      @jbwolf4 Před rokem +15

      As a simple retail employee if I have to mop up period blood I’m gonna riot

    • @ricochet-ek7zb
      @ricochet-ek7zb Před rokem +40

      Lets talk about how if it were men spending an average of 14000 in their lifetime to help them function normally due to their physical anatomy, tampons pads and all related stuff would be free.

    • @sharitaranovich2924
      @sharitaranovich2924 Před rokem +18

      Let's not forget that Gemini hygiene (misogynist term) products are taxable and so lower-income women cannot use SNAP benefits to purchase. Oh, but if it was a man's problem. Women are routinely overcharged for things like dry cleaning the same item as a man, while being routinely being paid less than a man.

  • @landismcgauhey7217
    @landismcgauhey7217 Před rokem +205

    A job that pays $30k a minute...ya, I'll take that!

    • @JaRule6
      @JaRule6 Před rokem +23

      Especially, if I get to keep my clothes on 🤣

    • @melted_cheetah
      @melted_cheetah Před rokem +14

      Stormy got a little more than double that amount for her few minutes of “work”

    • @bruxi78230
      @bruxi78230 Před rokem

      @@melted_cheetah ---- Stormy got 130 grand for 10 seconds.

    • @vincentmallard8381
      @vincentmallard8381 Před rokem +1

      Look how much slickwilly made, hundreds of thousands

    • @juanitaross5492
      @juanitaross5492 Před rokem

      Unfortunately you have to sleep with the Trump and his son.
      Gives new meaning to sleep your way to the top.

  • @scruffy4473
    @scruffy4473 Před rokem +198

    That happy birthday bit was absolutely HILARIOUS 🤣🤣

    • @lizatamayo1053
      @lizatamayo1053 Před rokem +5

      He got me! 🤣🥳

    • @SirManDudeGuy1
      @SirManDudeGuy1 Před rokem

      GOT 'EM

    • @debbiesims138
      @debbiesims138 Před rokem +4

      Disappointed he didn't sing the birthday song his Mom sang. BTW that $60,000 lady has a big mouth.

    • @CarrieJamrogowicz
      @CarrieJamrogowicz Před rokem +4

      “He can’t hear you” 🤣😂

    • @dancepiglover
      @dancepiglover Před rokem

      I knew it was going to be for Trump and Trevor was messing with the audience.

  • @e.elterman5251
    @e.elterman5251 Před rokem +89

    "due to high demand" thank you, Trevor (or writing team)! one of the best shows for including feminist/all perspectives on issues.

    • @tioswift3676
      @tioswift3676 Před rokem

      😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

    • @kingmerlyn4615
      @kingmerlyn4615 Před rokem +1

      Actually demand may increase or decrease depending on the number of women no longer having a period and the young girls getting them for the first time. It was a nice attempt at feminism but it was gaslighting.

    • @TheAureliac
      @TheAureliac Před rokem +1

      Of course it's women's fault. If women would just crank out a baby a year like the Republicans want, there would be plenty of tampons around.

    • @leeman6101
      @leeman6101 Před rokem +4

      @King Merlyn Actually, it's very rare for the balance between the number of women going on menopause and number of girls getting first time periods to be skewed that much all of a sudden now. There's also no data that supports that yet. On the other hand, there might be an increase in the number of women who started using tampons insted of pads (a decline in the use of pads). Anyway it requires an attention, and it can be solved easily. Don't be salty and just attack feminisim

  • @BlackHoleForge
    @BlackHoleForge Před rokem +492

    Now it makes sense why Kimberly Guilfoyle was so energetic and excited. I'd give the best speech my life for $60,000 for 2 minutes.

  • @420rashaad
    @420rashaad Před rokem +33

    My mom got that Tyron the Tiger. “THEY IGHT!”

  • @yepisaidit7722
    @yepisaidit7722 Před rokem +5

    *I literally screamed LOL at the " free bleeding" idea!* 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @Tallness1000
    @Tallness1000 Před rokem +470

    Trevor has so much fun with his audience 😂😂😂 it’s great

    • @Jeniirav4
      @Jeniirav4 Před rokem +1

      Yeah I knew he was coming with that Happy Brthdy!!🍻🎂 for the Idiot of a Persistent

    • @daskalman
      @daskalman Před rokem +2

      That's because clapping seals, simplistic lemmings and ignorant sheep are VERY low maintenance when it comes to propaganda guised as "comedy", hence they don't require much in terms of entertainment.

    • @BeeWhistler
      @BeeWhistler Před rokem +15

      @@daskalman Yet you’re here, Kevin.

    • @jeffreyblair9290
      @jeffreyblair9290 Před rokem

      Ok, clapping seals!!! You are adorable

    • @jeffreyblair9290
      @jeffreyblair9290 Před rokem +2

      Just curious, why is 60 grand a reasonable fee for that speech?

  • @alexanderaust4647
    @alexanderaust4647 Před rokem +4

    Traffic and Weather are becoming my favorite segments

  • @michaelclark6941
    @michaelclark6941 Před rokem +6

    "Factory staffing problems" is code for, "we don't want to pay above minimum wage".

  • @pbdrawers
    @pbdrawers Před rokem +326

    It's not enough to just make fun; these criminals need to be prosecuted or else we have failed as a nation ruled by law.

    • @dudz49
      @dudz49 Před rokem +15

      Absolutely! If these pigs aren’t punished they’ll be emboldened and keep trying until they succeed

    • @raziele92
      @raziele92 Před rokem

      A country ruled by law? Get real. The ones in charge are the biggest criminals.

    • @Jeniirav4
      @Jeniirav4 Před rokem +3

      Yes indeed

    • @shutupimstilltalking
      @shutupimstilltalking Před rokem +1

      Go to your post office and record lobby. Then tell me about your rights and laws.

    • @funnyman695
      @funnyman695 Před rokem +1

      And soooooo we have failed completely.

  • @yassercespedes2971
    @yassercespedes2971 Před rokem +79

    Exactly the demand is always the same is this companies using the shortage excuse to boost their profits

    • @medusaspupil
      @medusaspupil Před rokem +1

      My ex left 4 boxes of tapoons at my place that I've been saving for my next girlfriend.
      this was 3 years ago when Covid started.

  • @oneirishpoet
    @oneirishpoet Před rokem +172

    As a 63-year-old white man I found Trevor's segment on tampons so hilarious I almost had to pull my car over because I had tears in my eyes from laughing so hard! 🤣

    • @lucyhellbroke
      @lucyhellbroke Před rokem

      YES!!! 😂😂😂

    • @captaindaring
      @captaindaring Před rokem +32

      Why are you watching a CZcams video while driving?

    • @oneirishpoet
      @oneirishpoet Před rokem +26

      @@captaindaring rush hour traffic moves very slowly around here! 🙄 Don't worry SB I'm a safe driver! 🤪

    • @tioswift3676
      @tioswift3676 Před rokem

      What does being white have to do with anything? Do you want a cookie or something? Do you want validation because you’re white and watching the daily show?

    • @DavidMcFarner
      @DavidMcFarner Před rokem

      @@captaindaring I have a friend that does that too. If I did that, I’d be asking for so much trouble.

  • @AvaMariaAMDH
    @AvaMariaAMDH Před rokem +14

    The Mystery of the Missing Tampons solved! Couldn't find them on the shelves in Jamaica for a hot minute. Didn't know it was a thing everywhere.

  • @angelprincess4414
    @angelprincess4414 Před rokem +67

    I absolutely love Desi! She is 'spot' on with her delivery.

  • @davidwelch4841
    @davidwelch4841 Před rokem +136

    She made more in 5 minutes than the working poor make in 2 years.

    • @TahtahmesDiary
      @TahtahmesDiary Před rokem +26

      And the working poor are mocked for even wanting $15 an hour smdh

    • @friedeswide
      @friedeswide Před rokem +2

      Their bedroom skills are lacking.

    • @terfalicious
      @terfalicious Před rokem +5

      Some guy figured it out to be $1.8 million per hour. 😵‍💫

    • @tioswift3676
      @tioswift3676 Před rokem +1

      Hunter Crackhead Biden made millions per year because his last name is Biden, and then did some very questionable things with that money. But yeah, you mad because of a woman made more in 2 minutes than you did last year 🤣😂

    • @mhartung8335
      @mhartung8335 Před rokem +1

      Obama's made $400,000 and the Clintons $300,000 for speeches in the past. What's yea think now?

  • @Shadow-fp9ky
    @Shadow-fp9ky Před rokem +9

    Guilfoyle makes nails on a chalkboard sound great.

  • @dexteralex3118
    @dexteralex3118 Před rokem +307

    The pills falling from Trevor's suits kept making me laugh so hard, 😂😂😂

  • @oceanoflotion8630
    @oceanoflotion8630 Před rokem +70

    I still have nightmares from her "speech". Also, nightmares from her dancing to Gloria that day.

    • @annemettefrederiksen7751
      @annemettefrederiksen7751 Před rokem +5

      Took a while for the ringing for my ears to completely disappear 🙉

    • @patriciawright8786
      @patriciawright8786 Před rokem +2

      Ocean of Lotion--LOL! That video of Guilfoyle dancing is alarming. She & Jr. deserve each other.

    • @BeeWhistler
      @BeeWhistler Před rokem +3

      @@annemettefrederiksen7751 LOL, you beat me to it. I was watching and thinking… she does know that microphone is on, right?

  • @AloisAgos
    @AloisAgos Před rokem +41

    Desi may actually have the right idea here. Let guys see EXACTLY what the consequences are for not taking your time of the month seriously.

    • @anandsharma7430
      @anandsharma7430 Před rokem +1

      Forget guys, that will improve both capitalism and governance.

  • @DB800187
    @DB800187 Před rokem +4

    If scamming his followers out of 250 million doesnt change their opinion of him, then what possibly could???😂😂

    • @thomaskremer4604
      @thomaskremer4604 Před rokem +1

      Little changed german saying:
      "dumbest of all calves pay their slaughtering themselves." 😜

  • @MrDbrown30
    @MrDbrown30 Před rokem +8

    "Look who digging for me now" 😂😂😂😂

  • @S1L3NTG4M3R
    @S1L3NTG4M3R Před rokem +40

    Wow... $60K for a Two-Minute job - -
    Usually Trump has to pay $130K for a Two-Minute job...

    • @edwarddavis7313
      @edwarddavis7313 Před rokem +2

      Sean Spicer said that was the greatest two minutes ever recorded in history. Not the speech his time with Stormy lol

    • @crystalwalker4403
      @crystalwalker4403 Před rokem +2

      It’s half as much because he is paying the woman sleeping with his son, not him. Wonder how much they pay Eric’s wife?

  • @marisolaquino719
    @marisolaquino719 Před rokem +20

    Thank you Trevor for recognizing woman’s issue about periods.

  • @treynelson9084
    @treynelson9084 Před rokem +229

    This man just pranked the audience to sing Trump a happy birthday. A true madlad

    • @redwood421
      @redwood421 Před rokem +14

      I didn't fall for it - 76 years ago one of the most vile excuses for a human was hatched

    • @CyclopsWasRight616
      @CyclopsWasRight616 Před rokem +10

      On 4:20 last year, he got them all to cheer for Hitler's birthday accidentally.

  • @wiscogirl81
    @wiscogirl81 Před rokem +10

    $60,000 for 2 min
    That dumpster fire of a human made $500/second

  • @movingfiber
    @movingfiber Před rokem +4

    "Due to high demand, GTFOH!"
    👏👏👏

  • @natalieharless1715
    @natalieharless1715 Před rokem +19

    Way to go, Trevor! You're on a roll tonight!!!!!😁😁😁🤣🤣🤣👏👍😆

  • @myronidasvestarossa
    @myronidasvestarossa Před rokem +75

    Let this be a lesson to us. “Normal” is what got us here. We should not strive to get back to normal, we must evolve and progress. We need more sustainable practices for our supply chain issues, and increased use of renewable energy for gas prices and so on.

    • @talk3194
      @talk3194 Před rokem

      Funny, that's the same excuse Big Oil is giving for their $100-$300 Billion profits!! Wah, wah, you're making us go into clean energy so we shut down our refineries during the pandemic knowing we wouldn't be able to produce enough when the economy opened back up and now thanks to Putin we're making even more money to invest in renewable energy - and yet the people still hate us. Wah wah wah. People still haven't figured out that Big oil rules the world.

  • @auntiepha8343
    @auntiepha8343 Před rokem +103

    Daily Reminder: "Tonight, I say this to my Republican colleagues who are defending the indefensible - there will come a day when Donald Trump is gone, but your dishonor will remain." - 6/9/2022 Rep. Elizabeth Cheney (R) Wyoming
    P.S.🐔Lauren "Chickenhead" Boebert🐔

    • @MusicfromMarrs
      @MusicfromMarrs Před rokem +8

      Oh late night totally needs to get the Muckrakers story on Boebert out in the public discourse!

    • @auntiepha8343
      @auntiepha8343 Před rokem +4

      @@MusicfromMarrs 👍🏆

    • @oubrioko
      @oubrioko Před rokem +2

      just read about it 😯

    • @MusicfromMarrs
      @MusicfromMarrs Před rokem

      Hmmm, just received this from Mother Jones:
      « last night, when a bunch of liberal influencers and politicians-from Nina Turner to Charlotte Clymer-began to repeat a series of unverified, salacious rumors about Lauren Boebert.
      Boebert has denied the rumors. And tracing them to their source, as some of the best misinformation reporters have already done, ends up emphasizing just how shaky they really are. The claims originated with the American Muckrakers PAC, the group that released an explicit video of Madison Cawthorn, which the congressman essentially confirmed to be real. The PAC's claims about Boebert, however, are extremely unsubstantiated. As evidence, the group cites a series of text messages from a single anonymous source, who mixes the iffy allegations with at least one demonstrably false claim. As Will Sommer of the Daily Beast reported, the source shared a photo with the PAC, asserting that it was Boebert. But the photo actually depicts Melissa Carone, one of the many (dubious) voter fraud witnesses that Rudy Giuliani trotted out during his campaign to overturn the election.»

    • @margaretwilliams3353
      @margaretwilliams3353 Před rokem +2

      @@auntiepha8343 Best...Words...Ever 🤓

  • @joeglenn1480
    @joeglenn1480 Před rokem +14

    If she received sixty, what did the others receive?

    • @jayaguilar4657
      @jayaguilar4657 Před rokem

      Great question. Would love to know that.

    • @MsLul123
      @MsLul123 Před rokem

      Yep. She’s very low on the totem pole

  • @suemilne6174
    @suemilne6174 Před rokem +3

    Desi was on fire! Give her 60 grand 🤣🤣

  • @MEDUSAvsSHOE
    @MEDUSAvsSHOE Před rokem +43

    I don't think I've ever seen an audience turn so quickly as they did after that birthday gag.

  • @nikki4803
    @nikki4803 Před rokem +42

    One of the pills falling from his jacket at 3:40 made the comedy at the moment even better idk why

    • @nancywutzke5392
      @nancywutzke5392 Před rokem +1

      😁😁😁 I was looking for this comment. I saw that too and it cracked me up!!! The last little soldier.

  • @katherinekonopasek5120
    @katherinekonopasek5120 Před rokem +27

    Trevor, you're wonderful. Thank you for sharing your talents.

  • @jasonrangen5626
    @jasonrangen5626 Před rokem +14

    now I know why Kimberly Guilfoyle was so excited in that speech, Don Juniors way to coked-up to be getting her excited like that

  • @rolleone4me
    @rolleone4me Před rokem +1

    $60,000.00 for a full Display of hysteria and screaming !

  • @sleepnomore6065
    @sleepnomore6065 Před rokem +73

    Supply chain? The CVS beside my office has had an only 5-10% SUPPLY of feminine products like 1.5 YEARS now! The aisle is almost EMPTY....like they don't even bother to order them! The rest of the store items are stocked. Meanwhile the one 2 blocks away has stock. . . . It feels sexist AF and outrages me. Also, the fact that drug stores always 'hide' such products in the back or on another floor like it is something to be ashamed of... Meanwhile making bleeding women go through the entire store just for essentials that should be IN FRONT. They need to put a stop to this misogynist bs.

    • @peterdo5047
      @peterdo5047 Před rokem +3

      If I have to guess, it's lack of incentive to keep tons of tampons in stock due to diminishing returns (government-enforced profit margin due to tampons being an essential item). Stores rather keep other, more profitable items, in their inventory.

    • @rebeccafoster8765
      @rebeccafoster8765 Před rokem +1

      Well stated!👏👏

    • @solutionsforabrightfuture3579
      @solutionsforabrightfuture3579 Před rokem

      just send your husband or boyfriend. When I was married I kept my wife with a 6 month supply

    • @nedludd7622
      @nedludd7622 Před rokem

      Learn the meaning of "like" and learn to use it. Like you sound as if you were a like high school like drop out.

    • @classicmovievalium
      @classicmovievalium Před rokem

      @Peter Do
      Not an essential item in all states. It’s taxed as a luxury in mine (Texas).

  • @smallbusinessmiddleclassci2244

    I'm willing to bet that all the people who received money from the fund had to sign an NDA!

  • @misterx6490
    @misterx6490 Před rokem +16

    "I'm just addicted to pills" - made me laugh out loud for real.

  • @yippieskippy2971
    @yippieskippy2971 Před rokem +104

    Great show today, Desi's piece was particularly enjoyable 🖖🌈💚

    • @clumsiii
      @clumsiii Před rokem +1

      @John Bryer PS "John Bryer" --> How do you have 2 subscribers when you have ZERO content on a 4 year old profile? Is that how you easily log in to your other accounts? Olgino

    • @globaladdict
      @globaladdict Před rokem +7

      @John Bryer free bleeding party at John Bryer's office!

    • @radschele1815
      @radschele1815 Před rokem

      @@globaladdict i don't want to bare my buttocks at somebodys office.
      But I'm in to leave some soggy pads at the office.

    • @clumsiii
      @clumsiii Před rokem

      @John Bryer welp -- thanks for that! The russians don't respond that way.. believe me I've tried. Have some fun today, for your health!

  • @warren2948
    @warren2948 Před rokem +277

    Trevor is incredible and Desi is amazing, theTDS is a cool show

  • @angrydoggy9170
    @angrydoggy9170 Před rokem +248

    Yep, the stock market is struggling as always when there’s a global crisis going on. But what’s more troubling is that someone thinks that cow deserves 60000 for opening her cake hole.

    • @hermanprez
      @hermanprez Před rokem +17

      She's doing Donnie Jr. She's earned it.

    • @mcwjes
      @mcwjes Před rokem +40

      This is disparaging to cows. They are lovely, kind animals. She could never.

    • @jacquesblaque7728
      @jacquesblaque7728 Před rokem +8

      Kimmie's not one of the best & brightest, just one of the loudest, bless her little heart.

    • @wokechoke6845
      @wokechoke6845 Před rokem

      Funny you Alt-Left Clowns have an issue with it now. Oblunder can talk at Goldman Sachs for 20 min and rake in $500k $1.2 Million for 3 speeches total and that is just fine!

    • @TaleDreamer
      @TaleDreamer Před rokem +2

      Ssssoooooo buy puts on Guilfoyle?

  • @Apullensg1
    @Apullensg1 Před rokem +10

    You all are razor sharp. I love the interviews, the jokes, and traffic and weather is spectacular followup. Many thanks!

  • @AlexDeLarge2022
    @AlexDeLarge2022 Před rokem +38

    Can you imagine listening to Guilfoyle's, nails on a blackboard voice day after day? Donnie and Kim deserve each other. And like we didn't already know that Trump was grifting his Cult45. 🙄🤑

    • @tioswift3676
      @tioswift3676 Před rokem

      Kinda like how Hunter Crackhead Biden was taking millions of dollars from foreign countries and paying daddy’s bills? Hunter and Joe deserve each other 😂

    • @11fasteddie
      @11fasteddie Před rokem

      45 the "GOAT" was busy "MAGA" until the Marxist/socialist white supremacist Dems
      (remember the KKK) they founded, yet they are twisting it around to blame the other party and 45. We need to wake up.
      Now Dems are propogating progressive extremist ideology. What happen to moderat.

  • @sassibrit
    @sassibrit Před rokem +7

    I more believe that 60k was for a different type of introduction....😂😂😂😂

  • @frijolitodr
    @frijolitodr Před rokem +107

    Don't have to feel bad for those who contribute to help the man get even richer

    • @bobwilliamson9562
      @bobwilliamson9562 Před rokem +6

      May this be trumps last birthday.

    • @frijolitodr
      @frijolitodr Před rokem +1

      @@bobwilliamson9562 we shall see how this story ends...

    • @cassandra9699
      @cassandra9699 Před rokem +1

      Supply chain disruption or market price manipulation? In every case, who is making bank?

    • @Ministry-Of-Truth
      @Ministry-Of-Truth Před rokem

      You don’t think the “select committee” members aren’t getting rich? 🤣
      You don’t think taxpayers are paying millions for it? 🤣

    • @lynv6464
      @lynv6464 Před rokem

      CNN -
      Hillary Clinton and her husband, former President Bill Clinton, combined to earn more than $153 million in paid speeches from 2001 until Hillary Clinton launched her presidential campaign last spring, a CNN analysis shows.
      In total, the two gave 729 speeches from February 2001 until May, receiving an average payday of $210,795 for each address. The two also reported at least $7.7 million for at least 39 speeches to big banks, including Goldman Sachs and UBS, with Hillary Clinton, the Democratic 2016 front-runner, collecting at least $1.8 million for at least eight speeches to big banks.

  • @cdcurry1203
    @cdcurry1203 Před rokem +29

    I remember when Trump supporters were donating money and didn't realize they signed up to donate monthly.

    • @MFTgal
      @MFTgal Před rokem +2

      I had 6 trump emails begging for $$ today, in my spam folder...

    • @raivanframpton5408
      @raivanframpton5408 Před rokem

      Always a scammer. Crazy how his base always say that they voted for him because he is a great business man. Clearly with zero knowledge of his history of creating scam pyramid schemes and getting sued....over and over. The man has always been a criminal.

    • @kaylenejantjes8113
      @kaylenejantjes8113 Před rokem

      Oh shiiiiid!

  • @avocadomonkey4892
    @avocadomonkey4892 Před rokem +11

    "Due to high demand" -- thanks for calling out blaming women, Trevor.
    Woo woo -- Desi rocked! Her expression at "They SEE stuff ... you know?" (13:30) was hilarious, and her pantsuit is sharp enough to draw blood! ... free-bleeding blood even ...

  • @asermpoyi4357
    @asermpoyi4357 Před rokem +5

    The look on Trevor’s face when Desi proposed free bleeding 💀

  • @BriChuhime-sama
    @BriChuhime-sama Před rokem +11

    When they say don’t panic, you may wanna panic a little.
    The rich would absolutely bail themselves out before telling you about the crash.

  • @blaisea2652
    @blaisea2652 Před rokem +2

    Trevor actually singing the normal happy birthday song 😂😂😂😂

  • @genito1
    @genito1 Před rokem +48

    Can you imagine having to pay your son's fiancee 60k for her to say nice things about you and your son. She should be happy to do it for free 🤷‍♂️

  • @winstonsayer
    @winstonsayer Před rokem +35

    I think it's absurd that people have to hang their retirement hopes on the stock market.

    • @citrineflora
      @citrineflora Před rokem +1

      Yesss

    • @winstonsayer
      @winstonsayer Před rokem +7

      @first last that's exactly what it is--gambling.

    • @deborahfrederick916
      @deborahfrederick916 Před rokem +2

      I am retired, and I cannot even look at my account anymore without having a panic attack.

    • @winstonsayer
      @winstonsayer Před rokem +1

      @@deborahfrederick916 It does sound like a recipe for nonstop anxiety. I am decades from retirement, and I really don't know if I'll be able to afford to retire when the time comes.

  • @jessicabrown3184
    @jessicabrown3184 Před rokem +4

    I hide tampons in random places in my house for when I run out and I haven’t bought new box yet.

  • @abumoutasim4271
    @abumoutasim4271 Před rokem +17

    This show just keeps on getting better & better.

  • @we8608
    @we8608 Před rokem +3

    I'm pretty sure their relationship behind closed doors is just as bad as all his dad's marriages.

  • @RobertBeerbohm
    @RobertBeerbohm Před rokem +13

    This weather report one of the best yet. Maybe one day 'men' will actually figure out what is actually important in life beyond the concept of greed

  • @jbyanx
    @jbyanx Před rokem +6

    I guess we gotta stat wearing diapers now.. 😆 but pads are available its not that bad ladies , will make it till inventory hits shelves.

  • @j.s.7419
    @j.s.7419 Před rokem +2

    Desi's ending to me by surprise 😂😂

  • @gracievillarreal9641
    @gracievillarreal9641 Před rokem +2

    Love Trevor Noah. My brother used to say, "I don't trust anything that bleeds for 5 days and lives." haha

  • @jadeduh4555
    @jadeduh4555 Před rokem +6

    So, no weather!????
    🤦🏻‍♂ She's so funny lol

  • @boatymsboatface3929
    @boatymsboatface3929 Před rokem +17

    I’d be screaming about coming too if I was getting THAT paid.

  • @wormbaby666
    @wormbaby666 Před rokem +5

    $60,000 for 2.5 minutes is a rate of $1,440,000 per hour.
    I don't think even evangelical preachers charge their congregations that much to speak!

  • @ricktherockandroller
    @ricktherockandroller Před rokem +17

    "tRump is breaking the glass ceiling by laying under a glass table..." Great quote.

  • @marylhere
    @marylhere Před rokem +4

    The Dexter Cup….love it.

  • @PalmelaHanderson
    @PalmelaHanderson Před rokem +29

    It's ironic that crypto bros are blaming the government for crypto crashing when, like... existing outside of government influence was supposed to be kind of the point?

  • @tashnahtv6098
    @tashnahtv6098 Před rokem +1

    Tampons in the bottom of the bag for two years. How does he even know this fact?... and no, we won't deny it.

  • @SparkleSunflower123
    @SparkleSunflower123 Před rokem +3

    8:00 the sheer horror and disgust from the audience!🤣

  • @KKMDStyle
    @KKMDStyle Před rokem +14

    I wonder how NYC Mayor Adams feels about his decision to receive his salary in Bitcoin.

  • @tanyajackson-smith5504
    @tanyajackson-smith5504 Před rokem +6

    You mean there was no Election Defense Fund where I sent my hard-earned money to? Did Kimberly earn the $60,000 to yell?

  • @SlothinAintEasy
    @SlothinAintEasy Před rokem +8

    We can either tax the rich. Or we can eat them.

  • @StarS-mf2kc
    @StarS-mf2kc Před rokem +10

    As gross as it is, DESI IS RIGHT. If we all free bled they'd get it done asap

    • @kittyday1402
      @kittyday1402 Před rokem

      I think we should mail tampons with ketchup on it to all republican reps every month. To prove we don't need an abortion that day, since they want to know what's in our wombs... Let's mail the proof to them!

  • @phtorres45
    @phtorres45 Před rokem +29

    "don't panic" that's what they said in 2008 and the working class will probably be on the hook again to bail them out.

    • @nataliestavrum4451
      @nataliestavrum4451 Před rokem +3

      They should try writing it in big, yellow, friendly letters :)

    • @lostbutfreesoul
      @lostbutfreesoul Před rokem +6

      Anyone who tells you not to panic has already moved all their finances out of the system.
      They assume you have done the same, and thus have no reason to fear.

    • @deltav864
      @deltav864 Před rokem

      @@nataliestavrum4451 I doubt that'll work when no one can afford a towel anymore.

  • @johnnyfreedom3437
    @johnnyfreedom3437 Před rokem +9

    If I was a trump donor and found out that my $20 donation was only a small piece of the $60,000 that lapdancer got for 3 minutes of yapping, I'd be a little perturbed and want my money back!!

    • @arellatikvah
      @arellatikvah Před rokem

      No you wouldn't. Trumpers don't care what he did with their money. They are not rationally thinking people in general.

  • @savingplayer1613
    @savingplayer1613 Před rokem +3

    Freaking love Trevor's cryptobro accent 🤣

  • @DisillusionedAcronym
    @DisillusionedAcronym Před rokem +9

    it's crazy that nobody close to her has talked to her about that SCREAMING. EVERY. WORD. WITH. A. PERIOD. BETWEEN. EACH. WORD. "speaking style" yet.

  • @erickariggins
    @erickariggins Před rokem +3

    "Free bleed" 😆

  • @brandiweston8719
    @brandiweston8719 Před rokem +16

    Maybe we'll have to learn how to make jail house tampons out if pads? I'm old now

    • @jc.1191
      @jc.1191 Před rokem +1

      Ball up some tp. Lol

    • @tymjones
      @tymjones Před rokem

      Or just use the pad?

    • @argoneonoble
      @argoneonoble Před rokem

      Diva cup is a healthier option than balling up tp.

  • @blues998050
    @blues998050 Před rokem +1

    "due to high demand" lol thanks for calling that out man!

  • @patriciayohe
    @patriciayohe Před rokem +2

    No tampons? We should just free bleed everywhere

  • @lyndonwesthaven6623
    @lyndonwesthaven6623 Před rokem +28

    Would legit love to see reusable cup that marketed itself as the Lizzie Borden

  • @lindabb621
    @lindabb621 Před rokem +4

    YES! FREE BLEED is so f'n great!!!! Let's do it!?

  • @khalidas8781
    @khalidas8781 Před rokem +2

    8:17 how everyone went from happy birthday to booooo 😂

  • @perrious4980
    @perrious4980 Před rokem +9

    Desi's set was perfect

  • @famshars2389
    @famshars2389 Před rokem +3

    TREVOR, don’t OD. The world can’t lose you.

  • @maxryder995
    @maxryder995 Před rokem +4

    Terry says ..Paddington has a honey hole full of Marmalade!

  • @mariaangelova8275
    @mariaangelova8275 Před rokem +2

    Lol this is why I use all cotton, no plastic tampons. 🙃

  • @user-wx4ru1yd2y
    @user-wx4ru1yd2y Před rokem +2

    My mind was focused on that one last xanex chilling on the desk the whole time.

  • @trueson5351
    @trueson5351 Před rokem +4

    That was the weakest clap ever, "Africans become president" 😂😂😆

  • @pierrecurie
    @pierrecurie Před rokem +7

    When Desi was talking about free bleeding, it would have been hilarious if she conveniently ruptured a water balloon with red water. "See? This is how you do it"

  • @angrydoggy9170
    @angrydoggy9170 Před rokem +8

    What’s up with your supply chain USA? How come we don’t have that problem in Europe? Don’t tell me rampart capitalism isn’t working out better than a more social democratic system.

    • @lwhitaker4054
      @lwhitaker4054 Před rokem

      "Supply snarls this year may make Europeans yearn for the days in 2020 when an occasional shortage of eggs or a delivery delay of a few weeks were mere inconveniences."
      Bloomberg April, 2022 ( there are numerous other sources... they're not hard to find)

  • @MMusic91
    @MMusic91 Před rokem

    "He can't hear you!" 😂 i lost it

  • @Alejandro8Mario
    @Alejandro8Mario Před rokem +22

    The only part she said that made sense and is for truth is and I quote her last 6 words, "The best is yet to come"

  • @PrettyT432
    @PrettyT432 Před rokem +3

    😂😂😂thank you my therapist.

  • @mlggamer5296
    @mlggamer5296 Před rokem +12

    I don't know if anyone noticed this as well but after he panicked throughout the monologue he was dropping pills left right and center.

  • @jstone4862
    @jstone4862 Před rokem +1

    “A bear market is when people are so broke, people are blowing Paddington in the parking lot, oh heavens, oh heavens, oh heavens”
    I am☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️