Why Each of the 16 Personalities Are Still Single
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- čas přidán 30. 05. 2024
- What you might be doing, based on your Myers-Briggs personality type, that is keeping you from finding the relationship you want--and you may not even realize it!
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Chapters
Intro 0:00
ESTP 1:14
ESFP 2:18
ISTJ 3:36
ISFJ 4:51
ESTJ 6:31
ENTJ 7:38
ESFJ 8:52
ENFJ 10:17
ISTP 11:24
INTP 12:31
ISFP 13:59
INFP 15:08
ENTP 16:08
ENFP 17:07
INTJ 18:05
INFJ 19:16
The 16 Personalities of the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator are INFJ, INTJ, INFP, ISFP, INTP, ISTP, ISFJ, ISTJ, ENFP, ENTP, ESTP, ESFP, ENTJ, ESTJ, ENFJ, ESFJ
#16Personalities #16Types #MBTI #MyersBriggs #INFJ #INFP #INTJ #INTP #ENTP #ENFP
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Sweeeeeet
I have no idea how Discord works, but I'm on!
@Ph0enix I like hugs too!
Dope. Also, I'd like it if the music in the vid was either there, or wasn't. Right now it's so faint that it just transpires as an irritating and distracting noise, where my mind constantly goes, "what was that? Is it the neighbors? Is something wrong here? Is another vid open??" etc. Fanks.
This time I don't agree with this. I am enfp and "the grass is greener" to me is only for other things, not for love.It's hard for me to fall in love but once I love, I love so deep. I love my husband forever.
Any other enfp who is just like me?
If your crush is an INFP, do the first step, because we'll never do it lmao
If only we could send them our thoughts lol
yeah, only what comes to us is meant for us
Exactly cus whenever i do the first step i feel extremely awkward and embarrassed sometimes (talkin abt literally anything)
Or if you autism we are dense
... i did... or rather... I took the only step...
"You can't daydream a relationship into existence"
The INFP struggle in a sentence 😭
I don't know why you'd want a relationship to begin with.
Hmmm I am an INFP. I'm not shy at all. I'm actually assertive.
I prefer to keep my relationships in fantasy land. Real life is disappointing.
INTJs have a tough time finding a partner, because meeting someone involves having to sort through... people.
LOL, sort through them online first and give it a lot of time
So how do you reach a conclusion?
As a female INTP who has never dated in her life and only been asked out once (as far as I know, I'm not great at recognizing flirting), there is nothing more terrifying than talking to a stranger with the expectations of a potential romantic relationship. I have no clue how people just start dating someone they hardly know.
Me neither I don't like it like how do people just see someone and then they are like yup I like them but nonon I need time to see if they are worth the time and effort and what flaws they have because i dont want anything toxic at all its so soul sucking
As a married INTP female who was single till mid 30s I highly recommend online dating. The whole wondering about whether or not someone is interested is eliminated. I realized early on that--as much as I hated it--meeting in person as soon as possible was the most practical approach. No use spending a lot of time in flirty, witty chat-banter only to freeze up and lose all potential chemistry in person. I was rejected a lot, and I rejected a lot. It was painful, but not as painful for me as a lifetime of loneliness. I finally found my husband (INFJ) and we're a great match (though marriage is hard, it's worth it imo.)
me neither (INTJ). i don’t understand the fear of the ‘friendzone’. i mean, i get what it is, but the thing where ppl think if you want to spend friendly time first must mean it’s a friendzone, that is something i don’t understand. what are you supposed to be romantic with some random person they don’t even know they like as people?
Right? Male INTP here but always felt like I was born without the manual for dating, it's like I'm flying blind and deaf (and dumb) every time so I just end up ovethinking every word and being super awkward
@@nurainiarsad7395 friendship and romantic ship is different. The friendship is just friendship and romance-ship has (sexual chemistry and has fire and is fiesty plus friendship) so that's the difference as far as I'm aware. Go for ENTJ or ESTJ or INFJ maybe as great for INTP
As an INFP I relate so much! Like plz legalize imaginary friend marriage 😩🤧
Someday AI tech will advance enough to make this possible.
Someone acctually had married his imaginary girlfriend
Once A.I becomes self-aware it will never leave you, probly want to be one with you.....forever🤣
Legalize nuclear bombs/reference
So I have to go out and initiate it? That sounds horrible
I’m INTJ, single by choice. Nobody is good enough for my ridiculous standards
Also, why bother😂 I never understood the dating hype
Seriously. Same here.
@@animalia9114People dates because they can be looking for companionship, support, creating family, spending time together, sex, cuddling, someone to live with, creating a family, for a partner in crime, someone to share interests with, to travel with, to have fun with, love, giving, receiving and many more. Also hormones, attraction and trying to figure it all out play a big roke, especially for teens. And loneliness, most if not all people don't like feeling lonely, even if they like to be alone
I LOVE INTJS!!!!! AND YEAH SAME
~INFJ
INFJ here and my brain is switching like a metronome bewteen wanting to be single, and wanting a partner. It happens on almost a daily or even hourly basis.
When I want to be single I really have NO motivation to even go Looking for love, but when I want to have a partner it's eating me up inside that I'm single.
So I'll feel lonely, seek out new people, and then my brain is like "You know what, we're fine being single", and I won't be interested in any of the new people.
I just wish I could make up my mind; I really wouldn't mind being single for the rest of my life - after all it's how I've spent my time up until now - but a part of me also wants to know what it's like to be in a relationship with at least ONE person who actually loves you.
It's frustrating.
bruuuhhh this!! I wish i could just turn my brain off and get with a random person instead of immediately seeing all of their inperfections 🥲 But also...I'm fine being single (oh no it's happening again)
Waaaa as an ENTP i sooo can relate 😅
Went through the same, and I'm in a relationship and still sometimes want to be with my own company but I think at the right time you'll find someone so nice who will simply make you want to stay in a relationship because their company makes you comfortable. Don't force your way in when you're lonely, doesn't work. What I did is, I don't know if you are religious but, In a moment of estreme loneliness I wrote a letter to God and He brought the right person a week later. My first relationship who is still lasting. So you got this
Thank God I am not the only one who is like this.
Thank God
@@lazylua9526
I'm not religious at all, but your comment was still very inspiring to me, because I think I need to be more open to the possibility of actually finding love.
Like, I think that when you wrote your letter, you put your trust in God, and because you trusted that you would find love, you did.
I'm going to try to be more open to the possibility of finding love, because Right Now, I think a part of me is like still doubtful that it's possible; I'm not "fully Open" to the possibility.
Sorry for the late reply, but I hade to think about your comment for a while, and really think on what I thought about it. But thank you for your comment! :D
As an INFP, I 100% agree with the "shy romantic dreamer" role, because I can't stop imagining scenarios where my crush and I get together. For all other INFPs out there, I actually confessed my feelings to him a month ago and recently went to a school dance with him, so don't be afraid to put yourselves out there. It's nerve wracking for sure, but you'll be so proud of yourself for doing it.
Damnn as a infp fellow too here I’m too afraid to confess to him cuz we don’t even talk first of all second then the daydreaming thing is also there. I just be wishing that somehow he notices me and confessed to me 😭
@@meaning8926 I confessed my feelings and was left on seen 🤪
I sometimes think I'm more of an INFP then I think. I'm an INFJ but INFP really is quite accurate to me
I imagine a man with children, a lot. I want to be a mom but can't have my own kids, so I just imagine meeting a single father
@@meaning8926 same we never talk too so if I confess I’ll be seen as a stalker or smth 😭😭
As an Infj, seeing frank married was a shock but I'm very happy for him,and it kinda gives me hope that someday I'll find someone that loves and cares about me too.
Infj are amazing to marrige
@@Natalie-yg5rn you are amazing too
SAME. I was shooketh
You'll find somebody! ^^ I'm with a lovely INFJ right now. You guys are super sweet!
I hope you can find someone it took me forever but it was worth it :)
As INTJ, my dating struggle is as follows: find motivation to date, download dating app, talk to one person for a week, lose interest, delete app, single by choice for the next 2-3 months. Repeat.
So true
U even bother to download an app?? 🤨😟🤨 coming from a fellow INTJ-
I am INFJ and that used to be me too 😂 I’m now in a relationship 2+ years
@@arminislam6805 Same here, didn't even download one xD
I measure my single by choice phase by years, but basically yep
The eternal paradox of the INFP: Wanting to be your true self around someone you trust, but being afraid to do so because you're not sure if you trust anyone enough to be your true self around
INTJ here, totally relatable. "Usually" I'm the one who is approached, then it's "what are you thinking about?", "talk to me" all the time. So stressful. It never ends well.
For all those single INFPs out there: I'm a 46 years old INFP and for 28 of those years I was in significant, long time relationships.
So we're definitely not condemned to stay single.
I think we're well equipped for making a relationship work, we mostly struggle with finding someone who suits us. And I think when it comes to getting to know people we should not think, but feel. Because we imagine a lot of stuff, but that's all thinking and our strength is actually feeling. So if we come across someone that feels safe and honest and good and attractive, we should just hang out with that person as much as possible and enjoy the time with that person.
Awwnn this message is actually God sent because just yesterday, I saw my crush talking with another girl and I was like he is never going to notice me.... No one is going to notice me and I am doomed to be alone. I didn't even know it was related to my personality.
Thank you for this little glimmer of hope
@@onuhrita5009 you're going to have to speak to him instead of waiting to be seen. Terrifying. Yes. Turn fear into excitement, they're the exact same chemicals.
Casually sit next to them at breaking. Nice day/ tough meeting/ good lecture kind of comments are easy, commitment free openers to conversation. A casual good chat see you again at the end gives positive but noncommittal signals. If they've got any sense, they'll give you a positive response. If they don't, you could look for a better candidate to catch your eye.
@@michellebyrom6551 Thank you, really appreciate. I will try but I feel the odds are against me 😅 he is my senior in medical school, my brother's friend and the only time I get to meet him is in church.
I won't forget this though thanks 👍
Thank you for sharing that! So I have a question - are you happier single or in a relationship in general? I often find I seek to be in relationships, but the fondest memories I have is of being single/ alone (with cats lol).
@@laron2239 I didn't spend much time of my adult life as a single actually, so that makes it difficult to tell. I remember before getting together with my husband I was fed up with men and wanted to stay single and later foster kids on my own. But then my husband sneaked himself into my life and was so sweet and caring and funny and authentic and really good in bed... forgot about that idea of staying single and we've been together for 20 years and I don't miss being single at all.
INTJ. My mom suggested after my divorce that I start dating for fun and I said "People date for fun!?"
I made a great chaperone over the years. I can suck the romance straight out of a room.
Oh, laughache. Romance in the room? My experience is I walk into a room of fresh acquaintances with their 'romantic partners', mix and mingle, and within 15 minutes of active listening, I am overwhelmed with insight who is using whom for whatever deep, unfulfilled emotional emptiness, and deduce a chronology how long the lovey-dovey union is going to last before the bullet train they are on speeds off to Splitsville. Then afterward, it befalls me to listen to the sad, bitter melange of what a horrible person the ex-lover turned out to be ... for not satisfying that great void within.
As an ultra INTJ, thrice engaged --- once under sudden duress of 'accept this diamond, marry me or I'll plunge this Corvette off this sunset-gazing cliff' and 'marry me, don't leave me or I'll pull the trigger of this loaded shotgun', then to a grandiose narcissist living beyond his means whose door I kept the wolves from (believing he just needed my 28 year-old generous help in financial management to keep afloat in the future, 💰💲💸🚽, and lastly a looks good on paper perfect match, socially, financially, energy-wise but revealing he had the soul of Scrooge, used everyone around him as a potential purchaser of whatever new business he started, for it was all about the money for him. They all tried to return after the polite rejection, the necessary rebuffing, but potential for their change was not evident, not the least. Great is my imagination but I could not imagine any chance for a lifetime of happiness nor bringing children into the mix. What a nightmare scenario!
What I realized as I grew in wisdom was that lowering my standards would net me the same misery I see on so many women's ... and to be respectfully fair and equal ... men's faces. Moreover, I arrived at a gem, a nugget of golden insight that will make me very unpopular with pro-masculinist, closest misogynist, self-styled 'expert' on male-female relationships, social media's darling self-help guru for the 21C's hordes of Lost Boys in Never- Neverland learning to make their beds, Canadian entrepreneur-psychologist Jordan PeterPANson, a hardwon FEMALE insight. Contrary to JP'S mashed up, mixed up, implied but never openly articulated view of the fundamental role of WOMAN in society, I rigourously disown the obligation of handling and sorting and encouraging and filtering a man's FEELINGS for him.
Succinctly, as a WOMAN, my feelings/emotions are mine to deal with. A MAN'S feelings/emotions are HIS to deal with. I cannot do that mental and spiritual growing for HIM. It is HIS job. To each, I say "Do your own soul's work."
The Divine saw through that MALE inadequacy when El(god)Sheba(word), cognate the OT and NT WORD OF GOD, as eventually acknowledged John 1: 1-5, female narrator of The Book of Revelation, enshrined a psychological profile of the MALE PSYCHE in Revelation 17. This chapter accurately analysed the male defense mechanism of PROJECTION, his mental gymnastics whereby a MALE EGO protects itself from FEELING shame and humiliation over MAN'S own vices, foibles, failings, negative traits, faults, weaknesses, inadequacies, by casting these traits and motives onto others, in this biblical context onto the proverbial scapegoat immemorial (egs. Greek Pandora, Hebrew Eve, Joan of Arc, Marie Antoinette et al) seen headlined in this prophetic chapter the ubiquitous saint-to-slut in 15 seconds, the universal Woman-as-wh0r3.
Father of modern psychiatry, sicko Siggy Freud, did women a great injustice with his theory of 'penis envy'. To the contrary, presciently observed ON THE RECORD, Revelation 17, especially accurately foretold in the name reveal in the solved after nearly 2000 years (in climactic Hyper-Surveilling All-Controlling Big Brother Year 1984) "Unsolved Riddle of the WOMAN" and the resultant criminality of judicial PERSECUTION exactly as factually described, verses 15-17, the course of government secret action to preserve the long established phallocentric status quo, demonstrates that 'vagina envy' prevails, not Freudian 'penis envy'. I chided government officialdom for giving too much importance to the growing noisy clamour rising from men-who-want-to-become-women (1990) but was contradicted: "men do not want to be women" was the lame assertion by the blind and deaf overlords. Really? Tell that to male Olympic athlete Bruce Jenner, 'Woman of the Year', to Ru Paul and his international parade- competition of Drag Queens, to the bizarre, trendy push for garish clowns insisting on playing WomanFace during Reading Hour in public libraries and schools. Tell that to unique eunuchs of the all-male city of 2,400 crossdresser fellows wearing WOMEN'S tea gowns, adorned with crochet lace, necklaced and bejeweled, doing at each mass a symbolic menstrual ceremony to simulate the female power to produce LIFE.
Interesting the widespread blurrying of boundaries between the TWO sexes, the refusal of MAN to stay in his own lane but wilfully usurp all that is WOMAN'S, including her most feminine of female names, NIV Revelation 3: 17 and chpt. 19:13, has become so complete an identity theft, a cultural pilfering as well, that while men's imitating, mocking, aping, misappropriating an alien/foreign/non-natal culture of Afro-Americans or Natives/aboriginals/autochthons rouses an angry outcry, interestingly people going BLACKface or REDFace would bring immediate censure, even firing, but to enact a theft of Woman's identity brings no punitive consequence, no matter how harmful the destructive side effects.
Or does the foretold travesty of justice indeed end in JUDGMENT as forewarned, Revelation 22: 18-19, yet human 'beans' are too insensate, too stupid to see they are being punished when they are being collectively punished? In a plague three years? Still haven't figured out why? Still made zero effort at restitution? Why not, when continuance of the human species depends on contrition and remedy, as allowed for Revelation 22: 3, referent to the biblical curse, the plague? Man pridefully prefers Death to admitting wrongdoing?! We shall see.
@@pearlwogkoklol6700 how do you have so much to say?
I'm an INFP female and I've been single most of my life cause I always try to hide when I have a crush on someone but I'm now in a very happy relationship with someone who I'd been friends with for a year and slowly developed feelings for, luckily he's an ENFJ and did most of the heavy lifting haha. He's very open and it's kind of infectious so I can talk to him about everything now, he always says how much it surprised him getting to know me better cause I hide so much of myself most of the time
Gosh you are so lucky! I wish I'd find an ENFJ too , im an INFP btw ❤️
INTJ here. All romantic relationships I ever had were initiated by the other side and I didn't know I was in a relationship for a while and have no idea when or how any of them ever started
😂
SAME
Omg I've been watching you for a long time but I've only learned that you're married now 😳 Congrats Frank! 💗 You gave us your fellow INFJs a hope that there's a possibility that we won't end up being single for the rest of our lives hahaha
I hope Kevin the editor is just trollin XP
There is hope for us 🙏
@@TheQwuilleran what did he say or rather wrote
Ditto
Yesterday, I told my good friend that my soul mate was probably dead, and she laughed at me. Today, the suggestion is that I should have hope? I don't know....
I'm an INTJ and happily married. She stumbled into my life as I was completing other life goals, she's very low maintenance, and she likes that I don't waste my energy twisting things to 'play the game'.
Is she human? Lol sorry, I couldn’t let it pass
Where can I find someone similar for myself?
@@amandacoelho9524 I'm about 99% sure she's human. The actual problem is I'm only 30% sure she's real. Lol. I wish I could tell you where to find someone similar, I just got lucky.
@@joshcal7370 😅
@@amandacoelho9524 If it helps though, I met my wife playing Pokemon Go.
Is she an ISTP lol
INTJ - 42 and perpetually single... And I can definitely agree that it pretty much boils down to me not putting any effort into the dating game. That, and a complete unawareness when someone is attracted to me.
💗 Hope you meet someone soon.
ISTP, def attacked. I feel like we are like INFJ, just less emotional. If the conditions aren't exactly right, nope on out of there. We kinda need to get over ourselves.
Fortunately that also means we don't depress over being single or get so desperate as to settle for someone who doesn't deserve us.
HE'S MARRIED LET'S GOOOOOOOOOO
As a fellow INFJ...I experienced the exact same thing. Once I gave my husband a chance rather than nitpicking, and made peace with what was most important to me, I was a lot happier.
So tell us more about it. What happened? For how long? How did it get to that point?
How did you decide between what was a deal breaker or not early on? That's where I have a hard time. Not for obvious things, but stuff that is sort of annoying or confusing or less than ideal, or stirs up anxiety, but not objectively horrible...
@@jamielawrence4749 you could try taking a break from that person and observe yourself. Your answer is within you: if you feel less stressed because you don't have to do this and that or deal with this and that in the absence of that person, like idk going somewhere by yourself or just with a friend or family member, then that person is disruptive to your life and damaging your health.
Make a list with things the person brings to the table as in adding to your life and what does the person take from the table or better say : add weight to your life.
"You probably knew all this..." I'm an ISTP and I chuckled at that, it's true. But it's nice to have an external confirmation.
Congrats on getting married!
As an INTP female, I agree with the super sensitive to rejection or slights. It's hard to try at ALL, when you've been rejected and embarrassed so much from all aspects of social relationships.
YESS I’m the same as an INTP female haha
Same
I can calculate people who won't reject me, but it's a trap. They're toxic and they can't reject anything or anyone. xDDD Really have to try to put myself out there more. The funny thing is I thought I did put myself out there, but since my brains tricked me to think I was putting myself out there even tho I didn't. Ö.Ö Weird story.
Yep, always over-calculating to see if they will hurt me or over-analyzing thinking they don’t like me. 😂😂 Learning to give space while simultaneously freaking out. haha
That goes for ISTP women as well
To be an INFP is exactly like that! And that's awful. Single forever!
INTJ female here. Yes, you're right.... sort of. We don't like spending energy and time on the same things over and over again on the remote chance that this time, our efforts might actually pay off. I don't mind spending my limited time and energy on things I enjoy or things I know will eventually pay off, but online dating isn't one of those things. And yes, I tried (many times over many years) and no, it has never paid off. So, I would rather not be disappointed for the 100th time than to try it one last time.
Heard and felt!
I'm curious how you see it: As an INTJ-male, the one thing I hate is this weird non-verbal negotiation. Regarding dating, no one is ever upfront about what they want. For me, it's tough to judge when it's ok to hold hands, hug, or kiss when the other person never spoke about what she wants... It's not like a business where people sign with their first name to show that you can be a bit more casual... Even worse: there are mostly two types of women: those that really don't want someone's attention and those that pretend to be the same but get frustrated when the other loses interest... The rare third type is the one who aggressively takes things into her own hands. Unfortunately, that's often a red flag hinting at ulterior motives...
Personally, I have noticed that I somehow attract women of low empathy or those that are emotionally damaged.
@@edi9892 Yeah I hate the non-verbal stuff. Just tell me what you want and I'll say yes or no lol. For me, I've been chased by women far more often than I've chased (I suck at it anyway). You'd be surprised how many girls became interested in me specifically because I didn't engage them or flirt with them like most other men would. I guess it's the mystery factor, which INTJs have naturally.
@@PantsofVance I became friends with a regional celebrity. She was a former child actress, model, singer and could be seen on ads. Needless to say: she was beautiful.
I never ever made any attempt at flirting with her and that would have backfired anyway as she was already married...
Yet, she opened up to me and talked about her horrible childhood (she made as a child more money than both of her hard-working parents combined and they couldn't handle their newfound wealth and it ended in a disaster).
How did we get to talk? Boredom! I just asked her where she came from and then tried to improve my knowledge about her country...
She then spotted me when I had a really bad day and asked me what was wrong... That's when she told me of her problems and we kind of laughed together about our mishaps and talked down on our relatives...
I feel all of you (as an INTJ female) lol
INTJ one is 100% true. I have never been in a relationship (by choice) cause I have never met anyone who fits my unrealistic high standards... I'm not aromantic or anything it's just I haven't met anyone who's worthy of my time or commitment yet. And also I'm not desperately finding anyone to be in a relationship. If I eventually happen to meet someone who fits my standards then it's good if not, still good cause a relationship is not a necessity
At middle school, when everyone use to talk about their dream crush or high expectations from relationships, I used to think, maybe it's not a bad thing to try, and have one. Now I've finished high school with most of my friends being in a relationship. And boy, every single time they talk to me about problems in relationships, or with future-in-law parents, I'm whole like"You seriously have all this energy and time to have entrance exam, and have relationships". Like, I can't continue more than 2 friendships at a time, and they FRICKING have relationships.
=INTJ
Wait- u have TWO frnds?????? I'm jealous man- how do u even manage??😭💅
@@arminislam6805 can you tell me where all the intjs hang out? I've collected quite a few intps but i think I want to add some intjs to my collection
@@Jaxan-dq2jy probably not gonna happen, when INTJs all hang out in a discord server we don’t speak to each other at all for weeks. 😂 This is anecdotal evidence.
That's pretty expected, for an INTJ
Intp here, but relate so much with intj. Gotta first weigh all the factors and decide if dating is even worth considering. Unfortunately, hearing the problems people encounter in relalationships already drains the life out of me
As an INFJ, no real life individual could possibly live up to the image of the partner I have conjured up in my head. That's probably why I only date fictional characters! 😅😉
Same
Yeee I related to the INFJ part but I'm INFP 😂
Same lol
As an ENFP female, I gotta say I disagree. We may get small crushes easily but when it comes to someone we really love-buckle up buttercup, you’re getting at least 200 questions about every part of you. Not to mention, we’re intensely loyal to the people we truly care about
As an ENFP, I agree with you
Yup. We see the infinite potential in one particular person and we are ALL IN!
Agreed
This is why ENFP and INTJ are such a good match. We seem very different, but we actually are both loyal, curious and able to give each other space we need. "Surprisingly" this is where we find common ground with ISTPs too.
ENFP female here too and agree.
I know not all "golden pairs" work irl, but this video really highlights why ENFJs and INFPs make great partners. ENFJ notices the INFP daydreaming and says damn let's investigate. They start to find the INFP's dreaminess adorable and have no reservations about asking them out. Then we both over-invest in each other and next thing you know we're happily married... in theory lol
- your friendly neighborhood ENFJ
As an INFP this is true. I had a crush that I never pursue in real life, only in my poems and imagination. I was sadly rejected when I tried to pursue her but she became a great lesson for me to speak the words from my poems into reality. With quick imagination and careful word construction I just confess with confidence with my new crush. It's heckin life changing.
How’d it go?
As an ENTP, I might add that we are often lonely because we know we can meet someone with a more suitable set of characteristics. And this transforms into the "infinite chase for an ideal"
We do often see people not as people, but as a set of characteristics in a shell. Therefore, due to the high speed of thought, it can be difficult for us to come to terms with the thought that "this person will now be with you almost all your life, do you really want to see this set of characteristics next to you all the time?". in short, we often treat people as the same hobbies that James talked about.
Omg this is so me...I recently had to snap out of it and start dating again after being a lone wolf for eons.
People also kept asking why I was alone for so long cause I don't seem abnormal...😅
Mate, you put it in words I've never put able to articulate until now.
So true man. Our ability to see from 3rd person pretty much works against us. visualizing a person with his/her traits and superposing them with our interactions with them for a lengthy (if not life long) period of time is just dissuading
our next step inly is "meh I'll just wait until I find someone better"
I literally just commented something similar oh my gosh finally I'm understood
I'm an ENFP and it has been quite a journey circling slowly around life with this fantastically wonderful ENTP man.
I know that when he said that he'd never get bored of me, it was meant as the highest praise and admittal.
As an ISTP, I do struggle with being reserved. But my biggest issue in relationships was commitment. I mainly struggled with wanting to be in a relationship, but not being able to handle it. So i'm choosing to be single for now because I have a lot to improve with myself!
Same here!! Don't talk about intimate relationships, I even struggled to be committed to my friend!! ☹️
As an Enfj dating an istp, I'd reccomend taking care of yourself first and your mental health. Eat a donut when sad, get enough sleep and water. Then look for a relationship when youre in that good place, with a person who you feel comfortable with. I adore my istp, find someone who adores you, you can do it!!
also an istp and i relate. if i rly wanted to i could get into a relationship whenever. but i always find myself either wanting to break up asap bc of boredom or fear of being vulnerable
@@oliviawolff5873thank you, that was actually very helpful. There's really no way to get along in relationships if you don't get along with yourself. -ISTP
I respect that a lot. Not only are you taking care of yourself, but you're also trying to improve yourself before getting into a relationship.
It sounds so simple, yet very few people ever do it.
tl;dr You're self-aware and I respect that.
-an INFP
I'm a single INFJ girl and I'm single, cause I realized that I can't force things to happen that are out of my control, I also really enjoy my alone time so it would probably take someone I really click with to make me enter a serious relationship and that person isn't a part of my life yet, but it's whatever, que sera sera😋
I agree
Agreed I’m not in a rush for a relationship and love my alone time.
Sim. Exatamente assim que eu penso
I'm an INTP, and I don't blame anyone but myself.
Exactly!! same
I don't blame any one else either, unless it's their fault 😉
yup
Yeah I think most intp either blame themselves or blame no particular person at all?
I'm an INFP-T woman, and holy cow, that's so true. I've got some standards that I always look for, but are usually hard to find. But when I do find a guy on occasion, I'm always super shy and awkward. Since I'm also turbulent and doubt myself a lot, I just can't take the initiative to confess I like him. It also doesn't help that I'm currently having trouble making long-term friendships and finding friends I really get along with. Why is finding people to even just hang out with so HARD??????
This describes me to a T. I’ve missed out on possible relationships with great guys because I was way too shy and awkward to express my feelings. I’m also struggling to make life long friends and I’m in my later 20s 😭
Are you aware of functions, right???
Yep. I’m forever having that discussion in my head when I have a crush of whether they like me or not. I always look for signs when I’m around them. Sometimes it seems like they really like me and other times like they don’t. If I’m even going to think about confessing to them that I like them then I have to be pretty damn sure they like me back. So far this hasn’t happened. I don’t know if I’ll ever know if someone I like shares my feelings. The only guys who make it obvious they like me are ones that I’m not interested in at all and it makes me wonder if maybe I need to try to lower my standards or be single forever 🥺😭
I SWEAR SAME 😫 infp too though lol
@@Joy-sl4id same 😭i have no friends and always stuck in one sided crushes GG
The best strategy to not get rejected is to reject yourself outright and not approach your crush at all. Works 100% of time.
😂 honestly
It's late, but as a male intp, it is my strategy with every type of relation
As a fellow INFJ I am so happy you were able to find your special person 💗 congratulations on your marriage!
For myself I'm in a 10 year relationship, and that 5% does niggle at my brain from time to time, I just do my best to tell it to be quiet 😅
as another fellow infj, i was literally searching for this comment .
Yeah, even after you get married it is still a struggle, buy it's worth it 🙂
Yaaaay, I wish you both all the best ❤️❤️
It's so funny isn't it, how we can all relate to that feeling of "well... maybe it IS better to be single forever and not have to bother with this thing that gets on my nerves even though I know it shouldn't" haha. Glad you are on the other side!
As an INTJ I've prioritized friendships over relationships and still been hurt always by my friends. I don't think I can do relationships at all. I will die alone and have accepted my fate. Still wished I had good friends though.
I’m an INTJ I’ve gone through the same…
sir/grl are you me?? i (entp) care too much when it comes to friendships and always end up getting hurt. this makes me never gonna last for a romantic relationship and i don't want it without a solid platonic foundation
@@suchadreamerz I'm a girl! And I feel you. Love without solid platonic foundation doesn't make sense to me at all. If there is love like that I think it'll just burn out after few sparks.
Hope we meet the kind of people we deserve in our lives.
I relate. Disappointed and heartbroken often over humans lack of care and authenticity. It's ok to be sensitive, we just have to know it's not personal and drop our expectations for most people I feel. Its hard. ISTP
I don’t have a lot of friends, so I’m not exactly an authority on the topic, but to me the key to making good, quality friends boils down to two things:
1. Don’t _try_ to make friends. As counter-intuitive as it sounds, being natural helps attract the kind of people you’re naturally compatible with. That compatibility makes a lasting friendship easier to sustain.
2. Don’t be so desperate for a friend that you lower your standards or ignore warning signs. If they’re doing stuff that isn’t sitting well with you, cut them away from your life. You’ve got to be ruthless. For me this includes friends of friends, and if that’s a deal breaker with the original friend, so be it.
ENTP here and I am married to my ideas and hobbies. Whenever I think about commiting to a real relationship, my mind always weigh the pros and cons. The cons always win. I love my freedom so I always double take.
same as an infj 😂😂
Obviously anekdotal, but fellow INFP: The only time ever I've actually taken the initiative and actively pursued and expressed interest in a girl (instead of playing the waiting game or fantasizing) resulted in my current very happy marriage (with an INFJ, if you wonder). So it's possible! Go for it! 😊
I'm INFJ and my boyfriend is INFP!
I hope we can marry someday too
Aww Lucky you.!
im infp and currently on the phase pursuing and express my interest for the very first time in my life. same with you, she's infj but the thing is she gives soo many mixed feelings and now im just super tired with it i mean really tired. and i dont think i will take another initiative if this fails, nor i will find another crush. sometime i wish i never did this
@@ishlahulfikri9333 Sad to hear man. :(
I know how hard it is to take romantic (or social) initiative…
Still admirable you had the courage to do so!
Hope it still turns out well for you!
@@ishlahulfikri9333 it happened to me to before finding my boyfriend
Take all the time you need, romance is wonderful but being single can be too!
Try to give yourself some rest and when you feel ready give it another go
Wish ya the best : D
grown INFP male here, it's really worth it to express your feelings, and it's not that hard. You're worthy, you're great and you have to know that. I had a hard time with tehse dating apps and they just tell you: No one likes you, you're unworthy. Just delete them and open up in the real world. It can be hard, especially for men. But once you really love who and what you are, it becomes more and more easier.
As an ISFJ, this was very relatable 😩
Very much so, I've only ever fallen for close friends but then still don't have the guts to say anything haha...
Me too...
Yes. I got the feeling he must have stalked me at some point because it was so spot on
Based on this video I feel like ENFJs would be good matches for ISFJs. 🤔
I dont know if that true. Enfj are very dominant. Think of the character almighty and my hero he's an ENFJ.
As an INFJ, I'm laughing so hard because what you say is soooooo true! Thanks for putting the truth out in a fun and informative way.
As an ENFJ who had been single for a long time: This is the best advice I received over the years, thank u so much Frank 🙏
Based on this video I feel like ISFJs would be good matches for ENFJs.
ENFPs are good matches for ENFJs as well! Im an ENFP married to an ENFJ, if you need someone who can handle intensity, and have the same empathetic vision of the world, ENFPs are the ones to go to! We both can get deep and goofy at the same time, have this childlike spirit and also really feel and concern for the problems of humanity. The best match in my opinion. (Also because I am disorganised as hell and ENFJ can help me stay focused)
Ye INFPs would match as well cuz we never initiate and having sb try will get us to open up 😅🥲
As an ENFJ, yep I relate to Frank words🤣
I'm an INTJ and really appreciated the 110% effort from my partner prior to dating. Obviously because I struggle to initiate anything normally and his humour, positivity and encouragement were really admirable. So I say good luck, hopefully you meet one that do appreciate for who you are 😊
I’m 31 and still single. I’m an infp. Part of it is I spent my 20s in school and dealing with health issues. now I’m getting ready to get my masters.😅 I’m literally 💯 % introverted after all those years working, studying and being sick lol. But I guess the positive piece is that I know myself better and I’m know myself more , what I like in life, I just need to learn to let people in more😅it’s scary tho 😳
Alternative for ENFJs: find what brings you joy, invest into that lifestyle, and leave behind the useless relationships which never gave as much as you hoped and needed :)
That's exactly what I come back to every time!
I’m an INTJ and I don’t have more time to spare. I guess I’ll just stay single. Atleast, I have my cats.
I'm an INFJ and still single. Congrats Frank on your marriage! 😊
Being a ENFP in the dating game is like the combination of 2 things that are not supposed to go together:
- Always keeping several options open while you're single, being easily flirty, taking interest for someone fairly quickly. You switch crushes like you switch socks.
- Being extremely romantic, passionate and loyal the moment you finally get with someone you like. With enough sweetness displayed to make someone diabetic.
But as a result, other people struggle to understand how the hell someone who seems so flirty and inconsistent could possibly be also a real romantic who is serious in a relationship. Most people just don't trust our ability to commit because they see us as players. It makes no sense to them that those two aspects can exist on the same time ahahahah
But it's like, we have all this huge amount of affectionate energy to give.
When we're single, in true ENFP fashion, this energy gets scattered in all directions in pure chaos, and our dating goals globally are all over the place.
But once we're with someone, we're finally able to focus this energy on one thing, one person, and we finally feel stable. Though our partner needs to be able to receive asphyxiating levels of affection and sweetness.
TL;DR: We're undying romantics, who constantly get drawn to the possibility of immediate comfort along the way to find true love, because we're lazy and impatient.
YES!
YEEEEEEEEEEEEES
👏👏👏
ive never seen something so well explained, i was like YES to every sentence
Yes..... I am so flirty and romantic with my girlfriend and one of my friend said "You are really such a player" because I breaths on my friends ears to make them tickle😅
as an INFP - frank is 2000% correct 😭
Online dating is something I will *never* try. In-person dating is something I've decided will only happen when I've been friends with the guy for awhile. By then, I'll have a good idea of who he is and know he's worth putting some time into - INTJ female
I think actually the thing most INFJs consider the most isn't the perfect partner but a perfect idea of what romance and love is to them, which when it ISN'T reflected by their partner, they can be a little dissatisfied. Ni will drive the INFJ to work on what needs to be secure in a relationship moving forwards, what they perceive to be necessary in strengthening the bond between them, and their Fe will make them very patient and listening partners, they'll go long lengths to make sure both needs and wants are met.
Now imagine an INFJ who likes romantic kdramas. I'm doomed if I don't fall to the earth soon.
@@8RGL haha! who says they cant become a reality? strive for that dream, you can make it come true if you really desire it
As an ISFJ, I think this is so relatable! Before I watched this video, I told my mom that I first wanna be friends with someone before I have a relationship with that person. Like literally lol.
This is my struggle too. I need to know if I can trust her first.
as an INTP, i feel like I see myself as the wrong. I have some serious rejection sensitivity, but I try not to blame it on others. i take it hard, but i beat myself up. when I do place the blame on others, it's so i don't spiral into a path of self-destruction. socializing sucks
It has taken me so many years to realise why socialising sucks so much. We don't always make the effort to project in the way others expect because it's exhausting and doesn't feel authentic.
I agree with what you said with us ENFJs. I haven’t been in a romantic relationship, but whenever I get new friends I put too much effort in, and I always put 110%, and then when they drop me like trash I get so hurt.
As an INTJ, my biggest issue with ‘dating’ as a means to find one’s partner, is that it’s the least efficient way to do so. It only seems to succeed by sheer volume of repetition. Dating is when people act out a role even more than people ordinarily do in society, giving you an even less accurate sense of who they really are, forcing you to work harder and spend more time to know what they’re really like. Worse, the persona they play in this context is pretty standard per culture too, making it even harder to distinguish one candidate from another. The only place where this is even worse is in the office, where people put on an even more homogeneous image, which is why I’m frequently in the awkward position of being memorable to people at work who I can’t remember since they have little memorably personal attributes that they let show. Were it not for unreasonably self confident good guys I would have not been on dates at all 😂 And I met none of the guys I ever spent non-platonic time with (and therefore thought were interesting enough to warrant the effort), through ‘dating’.
INTJ. I've been with my husband for 19 years, and thank goodness, because dating looks irritating af 😅
My husband is ESTP, and I do occasionally get my back up when he starts talking to me in what I call "Management Mode" and I have to remind him that I am not, in fact, his employee.
Hi frank, just found out you got married. Congratulations :) Happy for you. Good to see you doing well and moving ahead in life. All the best for all the years ahead. Thank you for all your videos, they saved me in many ways :) I don't think even a psychologist could have explained things in such an unbiased way as you did in your videos. Thanks again, may God bless you for all the good you have brought about unbeknownst . :)
Very well put!
I agree!!
Wonderfully stated, and I completely agree.
He must show us his girlfriend!!!
@@Natalie-yg5rn You mean his wife.
What's the wife's type? 😁
INJT. You got me good with the dating app.
It hurts, but it's true.
I’m an ISFP and I feel called all the way out! 😂 either you like me for who I am or you don’t. I’m not about to pretend to be a person that I’m not lol
I am an INFJ. I had a long time crush to a man for 5 years I met in the church. I daydream about him being like this and that, then what would be the day being with him. UNTIL I messaged him after 5 years….. THE DAYDREAMS WERE ALL SHATTERED BECAUSE HE IS FAR FROM WHAT I IMAGINED LOL 😂. SO I STOPPED THE CRUSH THING AND REALIZED LIVING IN MY MIND IS A BAD THING AS IT IS NOT SAME IN REALITY….. Also, We barely talk to each other in church, I watched him from afar. 😂😂😂😂
My husband is an ISTJ and I can attest to the fact that he cannot stand any rocking in the relationship boat.
Edit: Congratulations FJ and Mrs. FJ! 👏👏👏
As an infp I feel very called out 😂
As an INTJ that is true. I HATE wasting my time and energy. Efficiency, efficiency, efficiency. However, having a romantic relationship is part of my 10 year plan... so it kind of works out!
ENFP here, usually you're spot on but not so much here. For me and most ENFPs I've met, we tend to get attached really fast and idealise our partners in the early days and eventually get disillusioned when we get to know them properly, and then we let go, also really fast. There's an element of truth to what you're saying, but it's not as pervasive as the fast-attach and fast-drop.
ENFP - I want a community in my life instead of putting too much focus on a romantic relationship. That can get so smothering. It's very hard to find that wider community & friendships these days. Maybe I don't need that with the right person, but I think relationships can get lonely without it. I at least need my own social life apart from the relationship a little, if possible. I don't know why.
Wow it was very interesting to read your comment, because I'm exactly the same way! Even though I feel I'm a very romantic person, but I have many interests and like many different people for different reasons. And even if I'm in a romantic relationship, I still need to have my space, and time for my other friends and interests. I just can't see putting all my energy and attention into just one person! I've had problems in the past with partners who are too possessive or jealous, I just can't deal with that. However we ENFP's are optimistic types and I have hopes that there is someone out there who will understand me and love me as I am, and vice versa of course!
This makes SO MUCH SENSE! I am ENFP and my husband ENFJ, we became friends at the same time as we were building a community of friends, we all camped together, traveled together, sang together by the fire, and this sense of community helped me so much to fall in love with him. Now we are living in another country, and our friends are really far away, and I missed that, it was a part of who we are as a couple. My advice is that you don’t separate your love life from this community, if your love comes from this context, this energy, it will only be stronger.
@@Sleexty Completely agree with you! Having a loving supportive community can only enhance the relatiomship. Maybe not all people feel this way, but for ENFP's it's very understandable. Hope you can find something similar where you are now. Are you from Brazil btw? Because your name sounds Portuguese.
@@margaritakleinman5701 yes! Im from Brazil, living in Italy for 6 months now. And you?
@@Sleexty Oi Veronica, tudo bem? I'm from California USA, I lived for a short while in Brazil and loved it so much. Sao Jose dos Campos, SP. One of my Brazilian friend's daughter now lives in Italy, like you. She is happy there but misses Brazil very much. I hope you will find wonderful friends in your new home, as an ENFP I'm sure you will! Um abraco desde California! 😍
Ok, so this is how it goes- I found really “accidentally” your channel. Recently I remembered at the personality test, did it again and found out (again!) that I’m INFJ. I have never took the time to understand exactly what it means… when I started watching your videos, all the pieces gathered together and I felt I’m not the crazy-awkward- anti socialist person I’ have thought to be. To be honest, it is a great relief..!!! The more videos I see, the less alone I feel. And trust me, I feel exactly (!!) how you describe INFJ here, this is so bizarre. I found out we have this kind of creativity- unique way of thinking, and it is just normal we are feeling alone. I want to thank you, really, for all the information you give us, all the videos. It funny because I don’t even know if it was your purpose at the beginning (“let my personality type people feel less alone and understand themselves”) but anyway you are doing a great job and really empowering. Me writing this message is so awkward. This kind of virtual message to someone who don’t know us and will never know. Thanks James 🙏🏻
100%%% true
Super glad I met my INFJ before uninstalling that app! 😆 We celebrated our third anniversary this year. - INTJ
✨Had a crush on a customer, daydreamed about it ( the norm ) - Saw him at a movie theater and walked up for small talk 🎉 that right there was a win for me. ✨
After a few minutes he holds out his hand and says “ by the way my name is (insert random name here) “😮 All I could say is yeah I know - The panicked and confused look on his face was perfection!!!
We have now been married for eight years. If I didn’t get the guts to go up to him I might have never married the love of my life! Be Brave ☮️ ❤🖖🏼
As an INFJ, I can confirm I used to do this but I soon made myself learn that no one is perfect and that's a fact. Humans have many imperfections, I did the same thing as our local INFJ right here: I decided to take 3 values that I find very important in a person (they're very simple: understanding, kind and have a good sense of humor) and not obsess over every detail. I made myself learn this after realizing how my whole personality was always just obsessing over my own imperfections and expecting everybody else to do the same. Alright if that's how I am then that's how I am but what right do I have to take everybody else's unique traits away from them? Maybe they're just the type of person that only focuses on their imperfections as they come or maybe they're the type of person that only learns through the mistakes they make throughout their lives. Everybody's different and they all do things at their own pace and I've learned to see the beauty in that. Now my perspective is different, I believe that imperfections are part of what makes a human and just like INFJ Frank said, those imperfections are often the things you'll fall in love with. Of course because of religious reasons I don't plan on dating and all but I've always been like this more with platonic relationships and when it came to just thinking about romantic relationships, this was the same mindset that I had. I recommend INFJs with a similar mindset to try their best to acknowledge the imperfection that makes a human.
Was married to another INTJ who expected me to put my life on hold for him. Always his plans, not mine. When the relationship turned abusive, I bolted. From every single aspect, another relationship is not worth it. I've accomplished more in the past handful of years than I did the entire time I was married. If there's a dude out there of a type that actually doesn't want to rip my self esteem from my body for his own benefit, I'd love to meet him. Although, now that I can actually implement my own 10-year plan, I'm not sure I want to change it again. If he wants to come along for the ride, I'm good with that. If he wants to take over again, no. Just no.
😭
As an INTJ who has been single since 2014, you've pretty much caught me red-handed. In the last 8 years I've had no interest in dating or relationships, they're not a factor in any of my long term plans and the closest I've come has been going on a dating app for a day, getting matches and then deleting it when I realise I'd have to actually talk to these people.
As an INFJ....I accept to be alone forever 🤷🏼♀️
you are so beautiful !! i say it as a fellow infj
As an INFJ, you really kind of broke it open right there! It feels a lot more peaceful to have a small set of criteria. I wonder if some of the search for perfection in another is the control we feel we need to exert not to get hurt. And then to let go of some of that control is actually secretly a huge relief. Like getting permission to not be perfect with a perfect person and do it all perfectly. Or something like that. Could it really be so simple?!
infj here. i’ve been saying since i was like fourteen and all my friends started to try out dating that i will only date one single person and that person will be the ultimate prophesized match and. frank just called me out.
For me, as an INTP male, I can handle rejection fairly well. I can move on from it quickly. I'll shut down a little, but bounce back after a bit. MY problem with why I'm single is because I don't go out and put myself in places or situations where I can ask someone out. Even then, it takes me forever to work up the nerve to ask them out. Thinking about it though, I'd probably tell myself that they'd say no and not pursue it. Maybe I am a little more sensitive to possible rejection than I thought. IDK.
Edit: After watching the INFP section, I definitely relate with that. I daydream about possible relationships all the time.
Im an INTP male and I really am scared of rejection to a point I wont even try, and yes same as you I sometimes daydream the entire relationship in my head.
INTP female and same. Well, I actually can't handle rejection great, but long enough to break down at home. I am normally good at staying distant emotionally up tp that point, though.
I'm not even talking romantically, since I have a hard time approaching people. And not talking to new people = not being able tp find someone I'm interested in.
Nailed it for INTJ again. Been single since forever for multiple reasons, and not putting the time and effort into trying to put msyelf out there and fing someone is definitly one of them. I didn't even download a dating app. I considered it, a lot, but never did. Wayyyy to many scenarios to anticipate before I click on the download button.
We INTJs spend more time *thinking* about love than expressing it, which is quite a problem in itself. We love to plan, but any kind of long-term plan that factors other people into the equation is less favourable for us, because, whether we like it or not, humans are unpredictable, including me. 😖Incidentally, studying the psychology of what makes a good relationship work was what led me into discovering MBTI in the first place! I feel like if a relationship is something you want, it is worth trying to make an effort (provided you at least see a bit of reciprocation) even if you don't see it being long-term, as it can only help you to gain a deeper understanding of what you want. Difficult to put into practice, of course. So many different variables.😅
Literally yesterday I met a new person through a game and I may have a crush? I don't know yet, don't judge I'm an INFJ who doesn't trust her own emotions. But he is funny, loves to talk about deep subjects and is a good person. He's been talking to me a lot... messaging me a lot so I curiously asked his friends how talkative he is. He messages them only when he wants to play something. Hoping if this ends up being something I don't blow it lol
Edit: Two weeks later, we're dating. Don't lose hope INFJ's!
ENFP here,
One: I tend to like people who don’t like me back.
Two: I don’t like the people that like me and totally friend zone them with my jokes and self insecurities’ bashing in front of them so they change their mind on wanting to date me/flirt with me/like me.
Also yes. The grass tends to be greener on the other side, and that’s one of the reasons I am still single….because I can **predict** so many things that could go wrong, not match with us in a romantic relationship from like, a few deeper conversations with you (and intense analysis of your character, mind you, I wanna become a psychologist), that *it’s just not so worth it. I’m not dating you*. Or you, or you.
You’ve just described my life!
ENTJ was very accurate, our standards start getting too high and we realise it. After we realise it we lower our standards too much and date a partner that was not worth it at all and then we start to think that there is not a single person that really suits us. And to those people who feel too scared to get closer to us just because we have high standards, all i can say is if you are a good person with a good mindset, we will make a lot of exceptions just because of that.
I must say that’s true
My mother is a INFJ and my father is a ESTJ
My mom is very more family oriented but has a doctorate in nursing leadership while my dad is a CEO of a section in a big company
the power couple is true but it can clash sometimes
-coming from a high school aged ENTJ female
Are you going to do "why each of the types are still in relationships" next? I always found the "why are you single?" question to be rather silly, implying everyone wants that or it's a goal everyone should aspire to.
That part about the ISTJ having a list of what they want in a partner was spot on. My husband is an ISTJ, and he told me he was not getting married unless he found someone who had everything on his list. Lucky for me, his list was pretty short, lol.
ISTJ here, can confirm as well, I have had my list sitting squarely in my head since 9th grade lol (am in university now). I dont think it is that specific as FJ claims though, I mean maybe there aren’t many people that fulfill that looking at the world but still, all I ask for is being smart and knowledgeable, having similar interests to me (so that we have something to talk about), being 100% honest with me (so that I won’t have to tear my hair out to figure you out and so that I will be able to trust you) and don’t be too draining (so no ENFPs with their 10 parties a week lol), is that too much to ask? It isn’t like I am asking for a specific hair colour or shoe size or anything, it doesn’t seem that specific to me. It is probably the fact that I just don’t introduce myself to strangers so I only talk to my few friends in my case tbh
Lol😂 I’m an ISTJ here and I confirm I have a checklist as well.
Yeah I agree as an INTJ. I’m single for about 4 years because my last relationship sucked my all energy. Now I try to gain my motivation to date again. But not soon I guess 😅
Seeing James show his ring gives me genuine hope that she will eventually want to go out with me (yes, I asked someone out & they weren't comfortable with it just yet, lol #infjshiteisnevernormal)
I'm an ENFJ and I totally put 110% into everything I do!! Haha I liked this video, good job!! ^^
The ENFJ guy flirted and wasn't serious and ENFP moved on
THIS.
as a INTJ that was super accurate
INTJ: LOL I will agree with you on not being particularly skilled at finding someone. And yes, I do not like to put in effort at talking to randos. I have had romantic relationships though. I will put in all kinds of effort when I find someone I like.
And you're wrong about being intimidated by the time and energy afterwards. That's the easy part. Consider "going out there" as "being subjected to endless quantities of small talk about things you don't even vaguely care about" (ie crap, I've been trying to find a date online, and now they want me to text message them constantly about dumb crap to show I'm interested in them; don't they know phones were invented so we could meet up in person and cut through all this crap?), whereas actually being in a relationship is "collaborating on your favorite pet project" (Ni/TE/Fi/Se powers activate! You are always on my mind, I spend my days thinking about making life better for you, I am totally down with being affectionate because I know my own feelings, and I will find the softest sheets, the tastiest food, and memorize your preferred drink consistency down to the last chip of ice ) Why did my relationships end? Money problems as the job market sucked, paired with picking guys who were mentally astute, but lazy around the house to the point they didn't meet my minimum standards, and did nothing to help me when I relied upon them. Doing all the work turned me into a horrible angry nag who hated herself for being a nag. So I left.
Other reasons INTJs may be single:
1) We have to find someone who knows that criticism isn't inherently personal. We want to make your plans better because we love you and want you to succeed. But some people see any criticism as disloyal and hurtful.
2) We have limited capacity to be vented to. We can do it a couple of times just fine, but by the third time you come back to us with the same problem you had the other two times, and you haven't taken any steps to change your situation and fix the problem, you're going to start frustrating us. We're going to get stressed because apparently you're totally helpless, so we should step in and do it ourselves, except that that's not really a great thing to do to a partner (you do not want me showing up at your job and telling off your boss, I'm sure, nor sneaking around the building plotting someone having an unfortunate accident to get them out of your way because you failed to do something about it yourself). And not that we will interfere with your life. Just that we're going to start being tempted if you appear unable and unwilling to fix your own problems, but those problems are so awful you won't shut up about them. Because if you're not happy, we're not happy. And we don't want to spend all our time with you being miserable and stressed at a persistent problem we're not allowed to fix. If you can't take minimal care of yourself, we'll probably bail.
That said, we are great sounding boards, as well as offering up ideas if you want to actually fix the problem, and we will cheer you from the sidelines and not interfere if you're actually doing something about them.
3) We're weird, and we don't care that we're weird. I mean, we can play perfect help mate for the office party, and most of us are willing to do that. But we're not going to pretend to be something other than we are on a regular basis. We value pragmatism over conformity. And we're not going to keep up with the Joneses because we don't want to be the Joneses. We want to be ourselves.
"Download a dating app, spend two minutes and I never will do it again" pretty accured as INTJ female 👏👏👏
That’s also me as an INFP
Your comments about ISFP were so true but I think another aspect you didn't mention (but often mention in other videos!) is that ISFPs aren't really interested in people who aren't into the same stuff as us and share our values. We bond with others by agreeing with them a lot and enjoying the same things. It's a great thing to base friendships on but it is a difficult thing to engage with romantically because those feelings aren't always controllable, so often the people who are romantically interested in us...we have no interest in unless they hop on those interests, and even if we have shared-interests friends, there is no guaranteed spark.
well that's true but sometimes an ISFP tends to be okay about the other person's personal interest and even try out some stuff like watching their favorite movie. but it doesn't mean they lie about liking the movie to get the person to love them. what I'm trying to say is that isfps aren't that hard on others but if the other person pushes their limits they chose themselves cuz they deserve better than to be treated badly.
As an ENFJ, I can say that we always think of the long-term, but personally I do that to avoid getting emotionally involved with someone I'm not really into or whom I know isn't what I want as a long term partner (done that before and things turned out pretty bad...). I do that out of respect for the other person mostly, I don't want to give false hope.
Maybe we come across as really desperate because we are trying to be careful?
I usually let time tell me whether or not I want to take the relationship to another level, I'm not gonna talk about long-term prospects in early days, I'll keep the thoughts for myself, but it is true, I always keep the long term in mind.
I also think we can be single for a long time because we just know ourselves so well and we know exactly what we don't want. But I guess our overly idealistic side could be stopping us from exploring many potential relationships.
But at the end of the day, an ENFJ has to do things according to their values and beliefs (I don't think we are very flexible in that aspect) or else we can get pretty miserable quite soon haha ...
That was my lil comment, bye 👋
Aw so sweet
An INTJ here. The description of INTJ is on point. I usually don't think about getting in a relationship precisely bcuz of the time, energy and efforts it requires but there are rare times when I try to give a serious thought and effort but then the problems like those of ISTJ, ISTP and INTP become the hurdles which I have never been able to cross.
ISTJ here, I relate to your part as well. Idk, it is just tiring and scary to approach new people (who to even approach, for a start?) and I need to talk to people in order to figure out if I like anyone so yeah. And I don’t think my list is that specific but I guess asking for someone with similar interests, that is honest, intelligent and that isn’t too tiring with going out to parties and whatnot is just too much to ask. And then there is the whole “dating game” thing of looking for signs and making sure you aren’t being too upfront but also not too passive and so on (which would be so much easier if people were simply open about what they want…), as well as the people that are just fake and lead you on because dating is like a game where they have to achieve high scores to them instead of trying to find their match and if the person doesn’t like the real them then too bad (wait, am I having an INFP moment as well? I am aware compromise is sometimes needed lol), people are really confusing ngl
I feel called out because as an INFJ, the traits Frank described are exactly what's happening between my crush and I, at least on my side.
We share an interest in over 80% of the stuff we talk about, we have very similar beliefs and ideas of the world, and we're pretty dang close in personality too. But there are just a few things, like 2-5% of what we know about each other that we disagree on or whatever. And I constantly worry "Well, this could lead to a big blow-up someday y'know" and "How will this play out? Is it even a big deal? It seems like it could be", and a lot of times it just stops me from discussing it in the first place.
I really want to try and be better though, they're unknowingly pushing myself to actually talk stuff out because I want to be with them.
Congratulations on your marriage Frank, I'm glad you found somebody who makes you happy.
I'm an INFP and I think the guy I have a crush is an INTJ. I fell in love with the fantasy version of him I created in my head while he was so independent, career focused and fed me bread crumbs. I know it wasn't anything personal because I saw that hes done this to every girls he dates. He tends to not make it past the 2 month mark in a relationship and he's 30 years old. He was just so low effort and whenever I complained he just said he wasn't a phone or people person and needed lots of space and alone time to think. So annoying!! I'm moving on...
11:24 To me closing off to people is kind of a defense mechanism as I really want to observe and take my time to make my considerations. As an ISTP I would always attract people that are desperate to rush into more serious compromise, make me responsible with their personal situations without considering my position and that feel seriously offended by my request of alone time. All that during the first month, which is insane to me! Like I really want to be able to take my time to think things through, to know and enjoy the company of someone else and take things easy...
I am a Christian, a Capricorn AND an INFJ... so I'm pretty use to it single life and not finding much compatibility