Hackers stole my shoe app credentials and transferred off all my cushion. Apparently there's a black market for cushion percentage because the manufacturer no longer supports the original shoe and there's about 12-million users out there who have not updated to the latest shoe and have no legitimate means of replenishing their cushion.
There's no way to even gauge what "50% faster" is. You'd be better off if someone just told you "hurry up, it's almost time" regarding whatever errand you are walking to. That would at least get you to run a little bit, so you get there faster.
In that 3 weeks, I've founded a new tech wearables start-up called 'Sokcs'. Our MVP is wifi-enabled socks with in-built sensors that tell you how warm/cold & how smelly your feet are through a smartphone app. The app informs you if you wear the socks... I mean Sokcs more than 2 times without washing or more than 12 hours continuously, whichever comes first. User data will be used to help third-party advertisers target the user with commercials for laundry detergent, shoes, clothing, fitness & wellness products, etc. We just got $2 million in seed funding from Facebook and hired three full-stack developers, one UI designer, a UX designer, a clothing designer, three growthackers, an Instagram/Twitter influencer, and a Snapchat queen/aspiring supermodel. We're gonna eat Ubereats for lunch & be the next Tinder of AirBnBs!
And dont make anonymous more of a scape goat than it already is with the credit card or bank account shit, the only case were they might do that would have something to do with a corrupt business.
*cough cough* "Started issuing refunds" as in, they claimed it, but a shit ton, if not all people, that backed the project didn't get any money back (yet).
Is like this f#cking product is replacing other shoes that we wear everyday (Nikes, Adidas, Jordans, Converse, Vans, Sneakers) making it look better so we can buy this freaking product WTH!?
You are leaving the bar when you get stopped by a shady guy..... you try to run but you cant, then you get a notification: Running from danger is a premium feature, would you like to switch over to premium for only 49.99 ?
I get the joke, but in reality they would want their customers to be alive to buy more product. Now, if you _truly_ want to think like a greedy businessman, you could unveil the *premium feature* to run from danger _faster._
Update to anyone who still watches the oldies: this campaign ended in 2019, with refunds being issued (kinda) and the project coming to an end. I did some research and found they also have app controlled sole inserts, probably also stupid.
Imagine you’re walking down the street and the battery explodes and your feet are burning and you can’t pull them off because their hydraulic presses in and you just sit there slowly and painfully becoming filet mignon
The video never said it was, so who knows. And besides, I'm not buying an expensive pair of shoes with pointless things like charging when basically every other shoe lasts forever.
ShadowBlade 26 So your argument makes no sense that a shoe with 2 weeks of battery is useless because current shoes have “unlimited battery”. (Especially since you can still manually close it)
Can I just mention that Lithium Ion batteries have an excellent weight to energy storage ratio, but also happen to be so dangerously flammable if they break or fail that airlines won't carry them? Yeah, a battery malfunction inside the shoes you're wearing sounds like a grand fucking time.
Airlines carry batteries all the time; now it's just such a hassle that anything over 100Watt hours is more economical for ground transport unless you're made of cash.
Imagine how HEAVY those shoes must be: Between the electronics, the heating, the sensors, the hydraulics and most of all: the battery. I'm 100% sure he isn't wearing the real things
BleueBrade don’t they need the funding to make the real one? The products in these videos are usually examples of the product. With the money from the funders , they can make it a real product.
Also who knows exactly how fast they're going? Like, I don't know what half of my speed is when walking. Can't it just tell me to go faster or something?
Alternatively, you can buy the boot DLC that will allow you to speed your shoes up to 500% or the caller DLC to call your car (if you have wifi of course) to the spot you are in right now (50$). Thank you.
Latest update: The backers still haven't received their refunds. On Oct. 2 2019 the project was canceled, and they promised refunds to anyone who wanted it. People claiming they asked for refunds, the same day it was announced, still haven't gotten their money back.
Its 2077. Im running late for work. I boot up my government issued smart pants, complete with internet browser history savers. I turn on my bluetooth enabled shirt, and put it on. It hooks up with the neural chip in my skull so the nsa can read my thoughts. I grab my belt. It wont click. I check the internet button. "Downloading 4gb system update" i swipe my credit card and pay EA 3$ for my phone call. Looks like im gonna have to tell my boss i cant make it today
Man you should check your Smart Wallet to make sure that you have enough V-Bucks to cover the credit card swipe, because "swiping" is considered a micro-action.
4:38 When I first watched it, I thought Charlie was just being hyperbolic about not being able to wear them if they're uncharged, referring to the hackers shutting down the shoes bit. However, I just realized that because of the stupid hydrolic thing you actually wouldn't be able to put them on or take them off unpowered.
In 2019 they announced on Kickstarter they were ending the project after having failed to make the shoes. As of a week ago, people have not yet received refunds, even if they requested them before the deadline
Imagine hiking and it turns off "Hey, why'd you stop?" "Ah man my shoes' batteries died, guess I will have to stay here until someone hopefully brings a portable charger" "Ah that sucks, see you at the top"
@@lou-jaybono9395 yes ,you lace it with the app. But you can still move when the battery is dead. Only your stuck in your shoes ,because you can't open them ...
The dildos already exist. They are used for long distance lovers. The man fucks the flesh light and the thrusting information is transmitted to the womans dildo machine and causes a dildo machine to thrust into her moist goochie. It works vice versa.
you are walking like always and you just freeze, in the middle of the road, everything becomes static, you get a message on your eyes "conection has been lost" you feel reality bending, you get popups of people leaving the game, at the end, you leave, no turning back, you left the server, you can't come back...
@Roger Dodger bro chill I responded in a joking manner and you thought I took it serious cause you can't sense sarcasm through text, and I wasn't even making a statement that could be true or false in my statement that used "lmao" so whh
this are pretty much self lacing shoes that share useless stats about what your shoes have been experiencing on a app on your phone. why do we even need self lacing shoes? is it really that hard to tie your fucking shoelaces instead of having some ridiculous rain boots looking shoes? i would rather wear velcro shoes than this shit
it combines the convenience of a slip on shoe with the snug secure fit of a properly laced shoe. its not the most practical version of it but i honestly think that this shoe is a good starting point for more practical high end shoes
mechVixen instead of a fucking hydraulic piston to tighten it, maybe something a bit more obvious... like having it normally laced up to the top, and having some sort of motor+spool setup that would just wind the laces up? or the slightly less obvious choice of making the tongue of the shoe an airtight bag with some stretchy cloth around it, and inflating it to change the tightness. but it would need to get rid of the whole "WiFi connection required" BS. just stick a button underneath the sole to check for a foot, and hook it up to a microcontroller that would control the tightening process.
"Ma'am, we're incredibly sad and heart broken to inform you that your husband has passed away. He accidentally walked through a puddle with his battery powered shoes."
For government apps, law enforcement can now override your control app. Police: "Halt!" (presses override button on his control phone) Perp: Freezes in mid step
Adaept Zulander yes, wear a shoe that makes you walk like you still haven’t wiped your ass after taking a shit, totally gonna save you when running from the cops.
I don't know why, whenever a product can be connected to the internet, it's considered "smart". Being hooked up to the internet doesn't make it "smart", it makes it high-maintenance.
High maintenance in exchange for better features and activity tracking. If ur too lazy to download an app and click a button then i dont know what to tell you.
Yeleraki Well, in some cases, absolutely! If you can make a procuct better and easier to use by connecting it to the internet, then go for it, however, in a lot of cases I've seen, they take something that needs no fixing and try to make it "better", but the only thing the extra steps do is make it harder to use. "If it ain't broke, don't fix it". When you add unnecessary steps, it just makes things more difficult, like that one smoothie press that you have to connect to an app just to have it press a bag of goop into a cup.
Pythonisa I'm not dissing the internet, I'm saying that "if it ain't broke, don't fix it". You don't need everything hooked up to the internet, especially if it's already easy to use.
i’m almost a legal adult and i’m just now learning how light up sketchers work?? this feels like a fever dream i can’t believe the cool kids at my school would plug in their shoes before they went to bed.
Haha imagine the battery malfuntioning and burning , trapping the foot inside with that lock and cooking it giving you 3 degree burns! Very thought through.
A shoe that can tie itself. That's it. That's all you need. I'd buy boots that "smartly" tightened themselves to my foot specifications, and stay tight throughout the work day.
This would break instantly from stomping on all that circuitry all day. I once owned a pair of sandals with fluid reservoirs in them that could be filled with water for you to drink. They broke almost immediately. Not that I would ever want to drink foot water anyway.
oh damn, oh geez, ah damn i guess i cant just take them off or just grab something or try to put my weight on my feet to stop these shitty things made of generic shoe,plastic, and small technology oh damn...
@@blehh_mae bro but... imagine the shoes turn evil..then... straight Hentai Wrap around your body and a tentacle slithered up ..enters your brain through your ear .. Takes control of your body and walks you right in the chipper.
Heated shoes would be nice in the winter. There is a way that the heat in the shoes could be temperature controlled. Check out self regulating heat trace. It's basically two wires with a semiconductor between them and as the semiconductor warms up its resistance increases until it gets to its maximum and it would shut itself down in that one spot. Also you can buy jackets and sweaters made by Milwaukee which use this. The flip side is this takes quite a bit of power to do this and even the jacket or sweaters use a battery for power tools which will only last for 4-6 hours straight.
Oh my god, my sides are hurting. I'm laughing _so_ hard. I only discovered you today. I don't laugh easily. I can't remember the last time I let go like this. Thanks a bunch! Yeah I subscribed earlier....
We already had electrical shoes. It's those crazy light up shoes for toddlers that flash rapidly when you walk in them. And I think those batteries last longer than 2 weeks...
I was in a dark place in life. Depression, sorrow. No purpose. But then, it appeared! The ability to monitor my god damned cushions! Hallelujah amirite?
Who the fuck outside of Alaska needs heated soles? If anything, most people need _cooling_ soles so their feet don't get sweaty and they get athlete's foot.
It's come in handy for poor fuckers like me who live in the Great Lakes area, which is currently becoming cold as fuck and it's too early to switch to snow boots.
>step in a puddle
>fucking explode
>step in puddle
>shoes short-circuit
>guess I'm not walking home then
>Hackers hack my shoes
>Hackers pancake my feet for the lolz
Tech Foot
Dan Schneider is truly the Nostradamus of our generation.
Elisa Castro Me neither lol
Hackers are going to hack your shoes and REDUCE YOUR COMFORT PERCENT!!!
NO! ANYTHING BUT THAT!
Hackers stole my shoe app credentials and transferred off all my cushion. Apparently there's a black market for cushion percentage because the manufacturer no longer supports the original shoe and there's about 12-million users out there who have not updated to the latest shoe and have no legitimate means of replenishing their cushion.
*hyperventilates*
For fucks sake, I just ordered my pair of shoes from eBay, there goes my cushioning... fucking Russians.
Those bastards!!
"Why are you just standing there?"
"Battery's dead"
"What?"
"What?"
xD
What if someone hacks your shoes...?
@Annie xd
Sorry sir, can't pay for these nuggets. My debit crocs are out of juice.
"Sorry got a update"
“Walk 50% faster to be on time”
I fucking lost it
Yes🤣
Yeah my walking speed does not depend on my shoes but on my lazy ass
@@grummanf14tomcat40 They'll shock the lazy ass out of you for you to hurry.
There's no way to even gauge what "50% faster" is.
You'd be better off if someone just told you "hurry up, it's almost time" regarding whatever errand you are walking to. That would at least get you to run a little bit, so you get there faster.
Wanna know what happens when the battery dies, like you can't fkin wear it or some shit?
"Unless those socks are also wi-fi enabled"
Dont give them anymore ideas
In that 3 weeks, I've founded a new tech wearables start-up called 'Sokcs'. Our MVP is wifi-enabled socks with in-built sensors that tell you how warm/cold & how smelly your feet are through a smartphone app. The app informs you if you wear the socks... I mean Sokcs more than 2 times without washing or more than 12 hours continuously, whichever comes first. User data will be used to help third-party advertisers target the user with commercials for laundry detergent, shoes, clothing, fitness & wellness products, etc.
We just got $2 million in seed funding from Facebook and hired three full-stack developers, one UI designer, a UX designer, a clothing designer, three growthackers, an Instagram/Twitter influencer, and a Snapchat queen/aspiring supermodel. We're gonna eat Ubereats for lunch & be the next Tinder of AirBnBs!
can i download call of duty advanced warfare tough
Le Mémé , darn it. I'm locked out of my socks. Guess I'll have to go barefoot
Le MéméAgreed
And dont make anonymous more of a scape goat than it already is with the credit card or bank account shit, the only case were they might do that would have something to do with a corrupt business.
Update. As of October 2nd 2019 the smartshoes have officially been canceled. They have started issuing refunds.
*cough cough* "Started issuing refunds" as in, they claimed it, but a shit ton, if not all people, that backed the project didn't get any money back (yet).
Pretty epic, ngl
No shit I mean who wants to wear smarthoe shoes that you have to charge more than your mobile phone that doesn't make sense
Actually 2 months later and they still haven't issued refunds, another awesome Kickstarter scam
$114k given to scammers. Not a single red cent went to any of the backers.
Pro-tip: turn the temperature up to max to add fire damage to your roundhouse kicks
If that doesn’t work you can always pay-to-win
Some paper mario stuff
It also adds electric damage.
Fire Aspect 300
You need Fire/Burn Boost perks for that to be worth it though
"Walk 50% faster" The AI coach says.
Sure let me just put that in my smart legs that know exactly what 50% faster than my current speed is.
Think she said 15%, which is even worse
Lol wow, yeah.. That's even worse
@@swapneelchaugule increase walk speed by 8.92%
For Gods sake don't give them ideas!
You go from straight person speed to gay person speed
"Smart shoe can do apple pay"
*roundhouse kicks the card reader at the gas station*
This got me. Holy shit my eyes are watering.
i swear some of these comments like this are gold
My friends think I'm going nuts. Ive been laughing at this comment for 5 minutes already
Imagine someone stealing your shoes and having access to your bank account
This is a golden comment
“Cash or card?”
“Shoe”
“...What?”
*”SHOE”*
I'm wheezing
😭🤣🤣🤣🤣
*heaves foot onto table*
Lmao
LET ME PAY WITH SHOES
When he says “imagine if it kept pushing down” all I could think of was “juicero 2.0, we crush your foot to make juice for your family to enjoy!”
Lol
Lmao
Ok
"EWW! Why does this juice smell like feet, is chunky, and taste like salty/sour iron!?"
But it only accepts properly authorised feet to work, by reading a QR code tattoo.
This is amazing and aged so well. From the comments I'm reading, the project failed, and the guy took the 250,000 and disappeared.
What a surprise
Rip
Is like this f#cking product is replacing other shoes that we wear everyday (Nikes, Adidas, Jordans, Converse, Vans, Sneakers) making it look better so we can buy this freaking product WTH!?
I'm sorry, 250,000 *dollars?* As in a quarter of a million bucks? Jesus.
@@totempolejoe1 USA 😶
Imagine waking into somebody's house and seeing shoes plugged into a wall.
Those are just those light up shoes as a kid
@@itsace2648 but those used to have batteries, you could just swap them out when they ran out of power
Capitão Explosão yea I guess
Capitão Explosão but still their were the chargeable
lmfao
*goes to friends house*
“Ay, what’s your wifi password? I need to take off my shoes”
I know this is an old comment but this is literally a huge glaring issue with these shoes. You need an internet connection TO TAKE THEM OFF
@@GoldTheWriter imagine going on holiday into middle of forest
@@justadudewholikestotalk ha!
@@justadudewholikestotalk you literally would have to wear these stupid ass shoes for literal days
@@GoldTheWriter id kill the creator of the shoes if my fuckin feet become a useless venom symbiote knock off
"hey dude wanna come over tonight?"
"sorry bro, i can't. forgot to charge my shoes."
those shoes should come with wireless charging stand. And you can get drying DLC for it only for $99.99!
Imagine hacking someone's shoes and hydraulic pressing their feet
You are leaving the bar when you get stopped by a shady guy..... you try to run but you cant, then you get a notification:
Running from danger is a premium feature, would you like to switch over to premium for only 49.99 ?
Useless Channel they are assholes
49.99 biweekly for premium and you can unlock the comfort feature and, if you buy now, the kick feature!
I get the joke, but in reality they would want their customers to be alive to buy more product.
Now, if you _truly_ want to think like a greedy businessman, you could unveil the *premium feature* to run from danger _faster._
Amazing Autist nah bruh the more people die due to not having premium the more people will get premium
@@ToxicSkull0 the more people will not get the shoes at all
Smart condoms:
"Hey baby, are you ready?"
"Not just yet, I gotta reboot the condom again."
Amanda Doan boy do I have news for you
@@failedevolution4396 please no
@Dan That's what he's doing
@Dan don't worry if its a smart condom hes fine hes turning everyone off anyway.
Amanda Doan refresh the page
Imagine running from a murderer but your shoes rsn out of battery.
Gotta go to Yagoo to repair it.
Honestly, its your fault for wearing those things in the first place
@@comemilanesas5765 just let natural selection do its thing
Haha
nice Pfp btw
Best girl
"Guess I'll die." \[=/]/
Update to anyone who still watches the oldies: this campaign ended in 2019, with refunds being issued (kinda) and the project coming to an end. I did some research and found they also have app controlled sole inserts, probably also stupid.
Accidentally step in a puddle and you have to leave them sitting in rice for the next 3 days
So the asian guy in the apple store is drawn in thinking free dinner and ends up repairing them for the free rice?
I thought this said pudding
@@Ublivion01 nice joke but we all know you know what he means
@@DaniPaunov lol same
@@tthung8668 even if we put a bat in the bowl too?
Imagine you’re walking down the street and the battery explodes and your feet are burning and you can’t pull them off because their hydraulic presses in and you just sit there slowly and painfully becoming filet mignon
Bro-
Hello music disc
Actually ,that is a possible Szenario
brah
You’re lucky Jschlatt isn’t here, man. With a disk like that you gonna be given the B O O T
Everyone gangsta until their shoes becomes self-aware
Gf: babe come over
Me: sorry i cant right now
Gf: im home alone
Me: still cant, my shoes died
The 4channers are gonna hack into your shoes to get pics of your feet
Ooh I want some
Oh good god please no.
BulletBill110 bills mafia
Sadly, they will one see the socks.
"FINALLY! SOME NEW FAPPING MATERIAL! I HAVE FINALLY GOT IT BOYS! LET'S GO!"
Worst enemy: puddles
John-Paul Rodriguez it’s probably waterproof
The video never said it was, so who knows. And besides, I'm not buying an expensive pair of shoes with pointless things like charging when basically every other shoe lasts forever.
ShadowBlade 26 But you got a smartphone when basically an old Nokia lasts for ever or sending letters doesnt need battery at all?
Um... yes?
ShadowBlade 26 So your argument makes no sense that a shoe with 2 weeks of battery is useless because current shoes have “unlimited battery”. (Especially since you can still manually close it)
Can I just mention that Lithium Ion batteries have an excellent weight to energy storage ratio, but also happen to be so dangerously flammable if they break or fail that airlines won't carry them?
Yeah, a battery malfunction inside the shoes you're wearing sounds like a grand fucking time.
Case in point, UPS Airlines Flight 6. Imagine that happening inside your shoes.
Airlines carry batteries all the time; now it's just such a hassle that anything over 100Watt hours is more economical for ground transport unless you're made of cash.
"Sure babe, but the shoes gotta stay on."
"The fuck? Why?"
"Wrong charging port for my shoes."
Imagine how HEAVY those shoes must be: Between the electronics, the heating, the sensors, the hydraulics and most of all: the battery. I'm 100% sure he isn't wearing the real things
BleueBrade don’t they need the funding to make the real one? The products in these videos are usually examples of the product. With the money from the funders , they can make it a real product.
Include the cushion percentage
@@SH1RM It got cancelled
jeffrey van schaik wouldnt there usually be a prototype?
Dude's footsteps probably sound like someone yeeted cement bricks off a cliff
2:26 Are you telling me this man needs to be told that he’ll get to his destination faster if he walks faster?
Yes
Not trying to be that one guy but it said to be there on time not to be there faster but i agree the shoe is dogshit
Also who knows exactly how fast they're going? Like, I don't know what half of my speed is when walking. Can't it just tell me to go faster or something?
@@i8u323
“Get yo fatass moving”
I mean I’d buy it
@@pugasaurusrex8253 I'm fucking wheezing dude
"heated soles"
You know..... Since feet weren't already heated and stewing in sweat.
well, this idea was actually good, because feet are sweating because they're too cold. At least if you're not running
@@jskratnyarlathotep8411that’s not how feet work
Him speaking in monotone while telling jokes and insults are the funniest thing.
Sorry I can't go to nanny's funeral I forgot to charge my shoes
Henry Wright Oh dear xD
IT WON'T TURN OFFFFFFFFFFF*EXPLAND LEGS*
Are you my long lost brother?
Well my nanny never loved me anyway
Hey, can the guy giving the eulogy keep it down, I'm trying to pay attention to my C U S I O N M O N I T O R I N G
You need to sprint 800% faster to make it on time.
PvtMartin78 *Running in the 90’s suddenly starts playing*
Gee, i hope these shoes have Turbo Mode
@@ry4nmaster just switch into MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE! HYAA!!
GOTTA BLAST
Alternatively, you can buy the boot DLC that will allow you to speed your shoes up to 500% or the caller DLC to call your car (if you have wifi of course) to the spot you are in right now (50$). Thank you.
“Huh, why’d you stop?”
“My shoes got hacked, 1 sec I gotta counter ‘em”
*pulls out laptop*
“Ah.”
Shockingly, the project shut down 3 years later and apparently nobody got refunds. SUCH A SURPRISE.
Latest update: The backers still haven't received their refunds. On Oct. 2 2019 the project was canceled, and they promised refunds to anyone who wanted it. People claiming they asked for refunds, the same day it was announced, still haven't gotten their money back.
@Useless Channel nobody that's who.
@Useless Channel You and the fourteen people who liked your comment aren't smart.
They never will get their refunds either
Another scam. How lovely.
I am ur 131th like
Its 2077. Im running late for work. I boot up my government issued smart pants, complete with internet browser history savers. I turn on my bluetooth enabled shirt, and put it on. It hooks up with the neural chip in my skull so the nsa can read my thoughts. I grab my belt. It wont click. I check the internet button. "Downloading 4gb system update" i swipe my credit card and pay EA 3$ for my phone call. Looks like im gonna have to tell my boss i cant make it today
This would make for a sick sci-fi story...
Soundwave cyberpunk 2077 scrapped plot
Noah Hooves actually it’s fallout 4 and the bombs are about drop
Soundwave also everyone is communist
Man you should check your Smart Wallet to make sure that you have enough V-Bucks to cover the credit card swipe, because "swiping" is considered a micro-action.
4:38 When I first watched it, I thought Charlie was just being hyperbolic about not being able to wear them if they're uncharged, referring to the hackers shutting down the shoes bit. However, I just realized that because of the stupid hydrolic thing you actually wouldn't be able to put them on or take them off unpowered.
"hey let's go to the club bro"
"Can't man, gotta update my shoes."
stealth camouflage shoes, I'll call them sneakers
Killysunt BOI IF YOU DONT
upload you potato
I can somehow already achieve that with my loafers. Plus I get free bread.
Can't beat that, can you?
Killysunt has an "upload schedule" *insert cam laughter*
Leather shoes are even better. They're made of hide.
"bro can u please take off your shoes in my house"
"i wish i could man i forgot to plug them in last night"
"yea man just tell me your internet password so I can connect to them"
I love your pfp so much, what's the sauce?
@@thickwater3602 kokichi
Your pfp is PERFECT
Imagine forgetting to charge them and you can't take them off, so you have to stand by the outlet and charge them while wearing them lol
In 2019 they announced on Kickstarter they were ending the project after having failed to make the shoes. As of a week ago, people have not yet received refunds, even if they requested them before the deadline
"Intelligent Sneaker" is a sentence I thought I'd never hear in my life
"these shoes can do whatever you want it to do"
can it give me back my money?
Give back your money it wont master yoda
nope cuz the people on kickstarter ain’t get they money back for this scam
Disappointment, I feel, Anikan tricking the order he has
@@endislayerb9850 the only disappointment here is you misspelling anakin
@@toeseater2855 ngl I deserve that, but I'm keeping it that way to spite you.
Imagine hiking and it turns off
"Hey, why'd you stop?"
"Ah man my shoes' batteries died, guess I will have to stay here until someone hopefully brings a portable charger"
"Ah that sucks, see you at the top"
Youcrafter XD.Trader it’s a joke....
This comment was also deleted.
@@LeoVOXA i mean, you "lace" them with your app so...i think it does
@@lou-jaybono9395 yes ,you lace it with the app.
But you can still move when the battery is dead.
Only your stuck in your shoes ,because you can't open them ...
That is nightmare fuel
Just wait till it turns into a landmine when the battery malfunction
Charlie: "Imagine having Wifi Enabled shoes"
Some Random Kickstarter: Ferb I know what we're gonna do today
393 people contributed to paying $87,694 for a pair of wifi shoes
TrueGodTachanka
That’s around $233 dollars per person like what the hell???
Hello my lord
And 336 of them found this video.
HeyitsKELS!!!' Just goes to show you that wealth does not coincide with intelligence.
Don't let a rich person hear you say that. They'll make a terrible diss track about you which clearly disproves that they're wasteful morons.
wifi enabled:
water bottles
candles
skateboards
apartments
dildos
I claim 30% of the profits to any of these future products
Sorry pal, Smart water bottles already exist. I kmow, it's sad.
Pretty sure Wifi dildos are a thing.
theres already a wifi enabled candle and it cost 99$
The dildos already exist. They are used for long distance lovers. The man fucks the flesh light and the thrusting information is transmitted to the womans dildo machine and causes a dildo machine to thrust into her moist goochie. It works vice versa.
You will make zero profit.
Yo, imagine being so inept that you required this "Auto Tightening" shoe. They already had that, it was called Velcro
I'd be more skeptical of my shoes catching on fire during night, because charging cheap batteries cased in flammable canvas in a great idea.
"Hey man wannna go out?"
"Nah man my shoes are charging"
Uncreative scumbag
Dude why did you steel
I do.
@@TheeOnlyStolas I bet your fun at parties
690 likes? Nice
I’m fucking sobbing at the idea that someone could hack into your shoes and just take you where ever they wanted lmao 😭😂
Look up "The Wrong Trousers". It'll show you the horror of shoe hacking
@@thisSh1tHard I used to watch it as a kid lol
Staple of British cinematography
@@thisSh1tHard hot dang I haven’t watched that in a good 17 years or so.
Look up Wallace and Gromit “The Wrong Trousers”
Nuff said. Loved it as a kid and still do.
oh my god what about the auto-tightening hydraulics thingys can’t they just crush your feet
"wifi connected socks"
kickstarter: Write that down! write that down!
Imagine you're the only one in the area at the beach and someone is drowning and you can't do anything cause of those shoes.
imagine your smartshoes getting ddosed
you are walking like always and you just freeze, in the middle of the road, everything becomes static, you get a message on your eyes "conection has been lost" you feel reality bending, you get popups of people leaving the game, at the end, you leave, no turning back, you left the server, you can't come back...
😂
@@datpisidukmv2819 People are fucking teleporting everywhere and lagging 😂😂
Well I wouldn’t be surprised if they did.
mining bitcoins while walking
"The world's first...*shock absorbing* sneaker"
I believe that most shoe soles serve to absorb shock.
No, they mean the electric shock from when you step on a puddle. Unfortunately they can't cover the whole shock, hopefully that's done in the DLC
Also, I'm fairly sure there are shoes that have actual shock absorbers in the heel.
They eliminate arc damage
@@alphaqwell2027 The DLC was just locked content, fucking EA.
Nah nah. These give you 100 percent immunity to lightning damage. Just stand on a lightning rod in a thunderstorm and find out.
This exist because people like to buy shit they don't need.
Friend: Hey wanna go out
Me: Not right now my shoes are charging
Hehe
Would be a joke now but like if that's the future.... damn
What's a friend
lol
Your going 70Mph on a highway and all you hear is "you need to walk 200% faster to get to your destination on time"
@Roger Dodger normal people
@Roger Dodger No cause I'm a normal person
@Roger Dodger why is this so important to you lmao
@Roger Dodger bro chill I responded in a joking manner and you thought I took it serious cause you can't sense sarcasm through text, and I wasn't even making a statement that could be true or false in my statement that used "lmao" so whh
Roger Dodger I actually sleep with my battle armor on like a normal person
Honestly a heated shoe sounds amazing! When I moved to the PNW , I had no idea how miserable standing at a bus stop in 20° weather could be!
3:31 Note that down Ubisoft, i want such feature in Watch dogs 4
Imagine someone asks what music you're listening to and you just say "Oh, no, it's just my shoes talking to me"
real disco elysium hours
And the shoes said " walk more lazy ass no more wifi for you its you no reach 10 km"
"I'm listening to my AI coach."
"Oh, like some sort of app?"
"Yeah, an app for my new smart shoes."
"excuse me what"
it looks stupid, it looks like shoes that people in the 50's would imagine we would wear in the 21'st century like the shoes from Back to the Future
to be honest most Jordan's look like that nowadays...
André ʙɪɢ Dick StyIe except self lacing and self fitting shoes are a good idea
this are pretty much self lacing shoes that share useless stats about what your shoes have been experiencing on a app on your phone.
why do we even need self lacing shoes? is it really that hard to tie your fucking shoelaces instead of having some ridiculous rain boots looking shoes? i would rather wear velcro shoes than this shit
it combines the convenience of a slip on shoe with the snug secure fit of a properly laced shoe. its not the most practical version of it but i honestly think that this shoe is a good starting point for more practical high end shoes
mechVixen instead of a fucking hydraulic piston to tighten it, maybe something a bit more obvious... like having it normally laced up to the top, and having some sort of motor+spool setup that would just wind the laces up? or the slightly less obvious choice of making the tongue of the shoe an airtight bag with some stretchy cloth around it, and inflating it to change the tightness.
but it would need to get rid of the whole "WiFi connection required" BS. just stick a button underneath the sole to check for a foot, and hook it up to a microcontroller that would control the tightening process.
“I didn’t come back with the milk because I forgot to charge my shoes”
Okay, dad.
"Ma'am, we're incredibly sad and heart broken to inform you that your husband has passed away. He accidentally walked through a puddle with his battery powered shoes."
For government apps, law enforcement can now override your control app.
Police: "Halt!" (presses override button on his control phone)
Perp: Freezes in mid step
Adaept Zulander yes, wear a shoe that makes you walk like you still haven’t wiped your ass after taking a shit, totally gonna save you when running from the cops.
UK policemen: We're listening, go on
That's fukin scary.
And i would've gotten away with it too if it weren't for these medelling shoes
Adaept Zulander They are on your feet. They won’t stop you from running away
I don't know why, whenever a product can be connected to the internet, it's considered "smart". Being hooked up to the internet doesn't make it "smart", it makes it high-maintenance.
WaffleAuflauf All it _is_ is a gimmick.
It's called Internet Of Things, and it's the worst forced meme in consumer products and gadgetry.
High maintenance in exchange for better features and activity tracking. If ur too lazy to download an app and click a button then i dont know what to tell you.
Yeleraki Well, in some cases, absolutely! If you can make a procuct better and easier to use by connecting it to the internet, then go for it, however, in a lot of cases I've seen, they take something that needs no fixing and try to make it "better", but the only thing the extra steps do is make it harder to use. "If it ain't broke, don't fix it". When you add unnecessary steps, it just makes things more difficult, like that one smoothie press that you have to connect to an app just to have it press a bag of goop into a cup.
Pythonisa I'm not dissing the internet, I'm saying that "if it ain't broke, don't fix it". You don't need everything hooked up to the internet, especially if it's already easy to use.
Shoes that will never get you through airport security.
"Why did you not show up to work today?!"
"recharging shoe"
“No other shoes need to charge”
8 year old me: looks at light up skechers.
“Ya heh of course not
Im gobsmacked, I honestly thought those things ran on like those circular batteries
i’m almost a legal adult and i’m just now learning how light up sketchers work?? this feels like a fever dream i can’t believe the cool kids at my school would plug in their shoes before they went to bed.
Avery Conte LOL i feel that
bedvox “im almost a legal adult”?
Lol is that what we’re callingteenagers these days
ToxicSkull0 i guess lol? i said it like that because i’m turning 18 in a few months
Owner: Please open, Shoe!
Shoe: I‘m sorry Dave. I‘m afraid I can’t do that.
Give me your answer, do
ShoeOnHead
"Whats the problem shoe?"
"i think you know the problem as well as i do
That shoe will crush your feets if you dont obey its command
I just remembered a disney movie I saw 2 decades ago called Smart House.
I like your reviews and your presentation. Keep up the GREAT work. You have a new subscriber!
Haha imagine the battery malfuntioning and burning , trapping the foot inside with that lock and cooking it giving you 3 degree burns! Very thought through.
Wow, talk about leaving your digital footprint behind...
No.. Please
oh this is the best pun
@@RealJohnSlinkman Oyes
*_OH MY GOD_*
Ayyyy
A shoe that can tie itself.
That's it. That's all you need.
I'd buy boots that "smartly" tightened themselves to my foot specifications, and stay tight throughout the work day.
Late reply, but: czcams.com/video/ym0kx-lUzYs/video.html
Air mags?
Velcro
There next invention will be a self tightening wifi enabled neck-tie.
@@DrFillyBlunt "this product is not meant for sexual or suicide uses"
Fun fact, this project went dark 3 years ago. And of course the email for refunds went silent, too.
Imagine you try to go to work one morning and you have to wait for you shoes to update
After watching I had a breakthrough...
WIFI ENABLED NOOSE
Mikhail Mikhailov that is very clever
MUST REBRAND ON KICKSTARTER
Better patent that shit quick
@MAD Alchemist Free meet and greet with Jesus ! can't wait to hang myself
Yeah I'd support that
Warning:
After using this product it may decapitate you.
This would break instantly from stomping on all that circuitry all day.
I once owned a pair of sandals with fluid reservoirs in them that could be filled with water for you to drink. They broke almost immediately. Not that I would ever want to drink foot water anyway.
The end of ur comment made my day
"The last thing you want in your reservoir sandal water is someone's foot fungus, but as it turns out, that may be what you gæt."
Maybe not your own, but I bet Tarantino would pay some ladies to drink their foot water
I feel like someone with a foot fetish would love them sandals
Nigga you're not just dropping "sandals with fluid reservoirs" like it's a normal thing.
I still dig the Roller Blade / Shoe Convertible. That still made sense
Just imagine walking and your shoes run out of battery and the shoes just make you unable to walk
how about a wifi enabled toilet seat that uses mathematical algorithms to read your weight and tell you how heavy your poop was
I never knew I needed this before now. Thanks.
Agent Bill Wilson and automatically puts the seat down when it detects you need to take a dump
Agent Bill Wilson But can it connect to the interweb ?
WiFi Enabled and automatically uploads the shit data to it's online database
There already is a smart toilet and even toilet paper.
I'm worried Skynet will take control of my shoes and walk me right into wood chipper.
oh damn, oh geez, ah damn i guess i cant just take them off or just grab something or try to put my weight on my feet to stop these shitty things made of generic shoe,plastic, and small technology oh damn...
@@blehh_mae bro but... imagine the shoes turn evil..then... straight Hentai Wrap around your body and a tentacle slithered up ..enters your brain through your ear .. Takes control of your body and walks you right in the chipper.
@@TruMaverick or.. it makes you into the first SmartHuman
@@blehh_mae Holy crap...
@@TruMaverick kinky
Heated shoes would be nice in the winter. There is a way that the heat in the shoes could be temperature controlled. Check out self regulating heat trace. It's basically two wires with a semiconductor between them and as the semiconductor warms up its resistance increases until it gets to its maximum and it would shut itself down in that one spot. Also you can buy jackets and sweaters made by Milwaukee which use this.
The flip side is this takes quite a bit of power to do this and even the jacket or sweaters use a battery for power tools which will only last for 4-6 hours straight.
Oh my god, my sides are hurting. I'm laughing _so_ hard. I only discovered you today. I don't laugh easily. I can't remember the last time I let go like this. Thanks a bunch! Yeah I subscribed earlier....
Boi, do u have videos to watch
@@-mordecayyy6581 Yeah I found that out.
Didn't iCarly did a joke about wifi shoes? And it ended up erasing all your data files and blue screens your laptop?
And they can roast weenies!
Yeah, and people got shocked by it
Yeah they gave Freddy’s computers a virus F u data tech foot
And getting them wet caused it to basically explode
I definitely remembered that episode.
*you got me fucked up*
pooper scooper haven't heard that a million times.
Also, it's a shirt and I'm wearing shorts.
Goodboob madam
the fuck is wrong with you people, shes just making a joke jiminy christmas dude
When he said that line, I nearly lost it. I never expected Cr1tiKal to say that XD
hmmm yes bby u make shirt milk for me? i love 2 making socks with you
Ik there are other things to track steps but this is probably the most accurate way to do so
We already had electrical shoes.
It's those crazy light up shoes for toddlers that flash rapidly when you walk in them.
And I think those batteries last longer than 2 weeks...
Penguinz0: “Imagine wifi enabled shoes.”
2 IQ people: “Hold my wifi enabled beer.”
Don’t forget the WiFi enabled salt shaker
@@Toxin_Glitch Oh yeah, saw that video, can't forget that.
Mr. Anonymous I think WiFi enabled beer it a great idea to keep underaged people off drinking.
@@xninewxw7559 Don't see how that would prevent..... Anything.
Mr Anonynous please leave me and my wifi shoes alone
What happens if your phone dies, do you just not get to take the shoes off?
😂
reading that comment literally make me laugh.
You'll have to awkwardly hobble around and be tethered while they recharge.
1k like yay
The fact that each backer of this thing pledged 223$ on average is also stunning
"MUH PRIVACY!"
*Wears activity tracking shoes, connected to your mobile phone, which you geo-tag yourself with every selfie*
ARE YOU TELLING ME I CAN MONITOR MY CUSHIONS NOW?!
I was in a dark place in life. Depression, sorrow. No purpose. But then, it appeared! The ability to monitor my god damned cushions! Hallelujah amirite?
Alpha Nova Official WI-FI ENABLED CUSHIONS?!?!??!!!???
They sell insoles of course it can tell you "when they need to be replaced"
That sounds like code word for looking at butts
I think ICarly had an episode about something like this.
Yeah, and I wouldn't be surprised if these shoes were just as bad as the tech foots.
Techfoots
An i-Carly episode about feet? Really?
schneider want feet, SCHNEIDER NEED FEET!
And they caught on fire
No cap these shoes look fire. Like if these were just normal shoes without wifi shit id buy them
We have smart shoes but no smart people
The ones selling the shoes are smart people.
@@420sakura1 ur not wrong
@@420sakura1 You got to be f*cking kidding me. They're just basic scammers.
@Emanating Faucet exactly. they make shitty shoes and market them so greatly that people buy them.they've made above $80k already.
That's a boomer quote BOOOOMER but yea I agree
Who the fuck outside of Alaska needs heated soles? If anything, most people need _cooling_ soles so their feet don't get sweaty and they get athlete's foot.
they just used 'heated soles' as an excuse for the overheating battery that's gonna fucking explode and obliterate your feet
Tbh I thought it was a good idea, still a dumb shoe but heated feet in NY? I’ll stick to my Tims tho these are dumb af
Because it is easy to do, just put some wires areound ahd that's it. Cooling is much more complicated.
It's come in handy for poor fuckers like me who live in the Great Lakes area, which is currently becoming cold as fuck and it's too early to switch to snow boots.
ElFreakinCid
It's the same in NJ. Jack Frost is teabagging us hard.