I Lied, Dropped Out of School, Almost Worked For YouTube Stars, and I was Sad.
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- čas přidán 26. 09. 2019
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I am 41 years old and I am in college and working full time. I want to say that our entire lives aren't scripted. Any day you want to take on a new challenge is the day that you should. At any point in your life, if you wake up different ... be brave enough to lean into that. This is OUR lives . OUR journeys. OUR stories. Your courage through your fragility is what makes you the most brave.
this is so inspiring
So true! Thank you for sharing 😊
I needed to see this today. Thank you so much 😊 👏🏻❤️
101sanford wtf who asked
I am 36 and due to medical issues I am just now trying to go back to school after 15 years later. I hope I am not too late.
It feel really scary when you aren't sure what you "wanna do with your life." I held this "lost" feeling in me for quite a while. I tried some paths that didn't work out, made some mistakes, but eventually I made to to where I am today! I'm excited to be working on my Masters degree to become a licensed therapist :D Tell me your story in the comments. I love hearing about people's journeys, especially the ones that aren't normative. I feel like they give hope to those of us who need a little more time or who follow unorthodox paths :)
Ash Hardell what if you’re 29yo and in this position?
The people who are like what are you gonna do with your psych degree good luck with getting a job when you become a liscensed therapist I would absolutely go to your firm if I'm ever in your area cause you are a sweet and understanding individual you really know your stuff and goodness knows I need help haha. Also I love that Rhett and Link were gonna have you be on their show that is so damn cool and they totally are sweethearts and so fun, but I totally get the anxiety over not having it feel right and feelig like you were kinda trapped into the fame and pressure thing. I like the limelight to an extent but not enough to actively draw it directly to me. I want it on my characters and stories haha and I feel you on the failure feeling I'm so behind the curve on what I really want to do and I kinda know what I want to do but toward the end of school I went from like graphic design cause it was within the realm of requirement for animation and also a cushion to realizing that I can do that side of the art that's business and don't hate it but don't have the patience or passion for that end of it. I picked up a minor in film and media communications that set me a semester behind at the last minute. I love it so much that I couldn't be happier even if my big lofty ideas for cartoons never get taken up I wouldn't actually mind working as an editor and in animations for effects not just like character animation and cartoons even though it's what I really love as an illustrator but lije animating logos and editing and making videos and doing effects that was what kinda clicked as this fun cool thing I actively love to do and it fits my overly detailed really tedious workstyle cause I get to do all the small moving parts and pieces
@@lavenderrbleu Same sentiments apply! They apply to 30, 40, 70 years too imo! Its never too late if you want something :)
I've gone through various "what do I want to do with my life" times, and am currently in one. I recently turned 30, quit my "dream job" as a video producer at NASA about five months ago and am taking a career break (czcams.com/video/UkkDkiqjRZk/video.html), and a few days ago finally started worrying that I still have no idea what I want to do next. At this point I can't think of any job that sounds exciting to me. A lot of things just seem way better as hobbies than jobs. The only thing I've learned so far on my career break is that I really like... NOT working, ha. Welp, hopefully I'll figure it out. I'm glad you've found something you're excited about, Ash! Also, I almost said hi to you a couple times passing you in the hall at VidCon but didn't; wish I had!
Thank you for making this it really helps ive been struggling to find what i want to do and in the last year or so i finally found my passion which is forensic science and im so happy and over joyed to be hopefully getting my dream job but anyway it does mean alot because i was going through some of these struggles and its nice to know im not alone but again thank you and keep up the amazing and awesome work! ❤
As a current psych major who has a variety of people telling her "what are you going to do with that" (and consequently internalizing a lot of it) this video made me feel really good. Thank you. I want to be a clinical psychologist (or a therapist, there's some decision making to be done ^.^") I'm with you, I want to talk to people and be able to help them. Thank you for sharing your story. It gives me hope.
Congratulations of going back to school! You're going to be great!
YOU GOT THIS. Don't listen to the folks who put you down or you might turn into me! ....You'll just end up back in psych but 8 years later :P
I'm about to start studying psychology as well and as far as I heard there are lots of job options for it! There is always a need for therapists/clinical psychologists, but even if it turns out that that's not for you you can also work for companies in the marketing field or in the personnel department. You can also go into research at a university, market research or political research, working on election polls!
There are probably many more options that I don't even know about, but as far as I know (and hope tbh), it is actually not too hard to get a job with a psych degree ^-^
@@koals6783 True! Schools, unis, prisons, even some companies, are now looking for an on site councilor/therapist. There are many more of course but the main consensus is that people understand that work and school is a lot of stress so they need to take care of their staff/pupils. You can also work with emergency support/services which is very intensive work load but it's rewarding given youre the right person. If you're more of a creative person, Psych can improve your ability to study art/people and create more effective works. And of course if you work in film, TV, or CZcams it greatly helps to script your videos in a more sophisticated way. There are so many more, as you said. So never stop trying to find a way how to work the field, sometimes the ones you least expect are your best options.
Hearing "what are you gonna do with a pSycH MAjoR???" is sooo absurd to me, because in germany it is one of the hardest fields of study to be accepted into and then also not fail the classes. Basically like medicine. And if you graduate, becoming a therapist is a really high paying career usually. I really don't understand why this is not valued in the US in a similar fashion!
I have two psych degrees! Even if you don’t end up going into counseling, there are a lot of jobs that you can get with that degree. You can do almost anything with a psychology degree.
“I’m too fragile and bad at playing the system” needs to go on my tombstone*
*and by tombstone I’m referring to whatever tree my biological self ends up becoming part of
i'm almost 35 and still have no idea what i want, so....i hope this makes someone feel better.
27 with a masters in music tech conducting a band and teaching kids to play wind instruments and... honestly same. I still don't know what I want to do.
I'm 35. Dealing with my ptsd, I have not gotten anywhere yet.
22, confused and I don’t have really anyone to help me experiment
Esca Jensen Nice. I am 44 and have a degree in music education that I am currently not using because teaching is not for me.
25, working for 5 years now and i really don't know where to go rn but i don't feel happy or "that spark", i don't know where to go exactly
Thank you, I needed this-I'm at the point of feeling really "meh" about all the options I have in front of me, and it's good to hear that there's an "other side" of this feeling
Same with me! People have always said “follow your passion” but when I tell them what I really want to do, they say “oh, there’s no future there/that’s not realistic”.
noctembra exactly for example, I really love art and people say you can’t do anything with that but they don’t realize art is all around you. Who do you think decorated homes or even built homes or styles clothes or make movies. Hehe well I do like art but idk I also want to do this other career which doesn’t require college and still pays well but it’s something that I do like to do and can do key word *do* lol but i still don’t exactly know. And the real only reason besides parents making me feel pressured is that our income isn’t great and so I just feel very stuck. But I may have found something for me except that it doesn’t require college which is perfect since the income situation. Sorry now I’m rambling. In summary I am thankful for this video since I really felt that I needed something to give me hope! Thank you❤️ from an non binary romantic ace🖤💜🖤💜
Fun fact: Before i started uni my parents sat me down and told me the stories of their dropouts. My dad has an unfinished law degree, my mom an unfinished economy degree. I'm so glad i had that story when i changed my major, because i knew it was not a big deal and i'd turn out fine.
Thank you for telling your story :)
this is so uplifting and lovely and relieving to hear
I love that Ash just ended in the major they started with
As a poli sci major who recently graduated from the U of M, I feel personally attacked by the accuracy in the beginning of this video
Haaaaaaa ☺️
"I'm too fragile." SAME.
Can you read my mind? I just dropped out of uni and have literally no idea what to do with my life...
You will be ok. You are good and you will find happiness :)
@@HeyThere005 Thank you for answering, this just made my day a little brighter :)
@@ichbinben. Never stop trying. It's usually the thing you least expect to spark your drive
@Elio I'm luckily not American, so I don't have to worry about affording education :)
I really needed this. I'm in that place where nothing feels "right" and people pressure me to do things fast because I'm "falling behind"
Ugh I hear “have fun finding a job with that” when I say I’m an English major who doesn’t want to teach (I want to edit books, specifically for a company that focuses on pushing thru books written by and about marginalized groups).
I started college at 26. I’m 29 now and still working on my prereqs (against everyone’s suggestions I put science and math, my struggles, off until the end and now I’m struggling).
Update: I finished my prereqs at community college and then absolutely hated university level (especially online classes). University level literature classes absolutely crushed me, which was so discouraging, because English is what I’ve always been good at and is my major. I dropped out in April 2021 and became bedridden with depression and stopped taking my antidepressants because I felt like they weren’t working. I’ve always had depression, but I’d never been bedridden and 10000000% unmotivated before. I worked a couple food service jobs for a couple months at a time before quitting (the understaffing made the work pretty much impossible. 12 hour shifts as the only line cook in a slammed restaurant will burn anyone out). Finally, about two weeks ago I got a job at a take-and-bake pizza place that is fully staffed. I also got back on my meds (at a higher dose. Oh boy does a proper dose make a difference!) and I’m doing okay. I don’t know if I’ll ever return to school. I can’t stand the bureaucracy of it. Oh, and I am just completely fed up with giving my entire life to capitalism and “productivity.” I just want to burn this rigged ass system to the ground right now. Higher education needs to be free and accessible to all.
Ash, a few years ago I was teaching and I hated it. Every single day I cried because I hated what I was doing. Then one day someone asked me if I ever thought about being a speech language pathologist...and boomed. That day (or week) I applied to grad school! I then took my GRE, did all the other shit and BOOM.... Today, I am a speech language pathologist and I fucking love what I do. I had that spark too!
And totally agree with you, fuck social timelines! Yay to second careers and being happy!
I see a lot of people in the comments saying how good the timing of this video is for them and, same! Due to health problems I'm taking a lot longer to finish my degree than is expected. I'm majoring in Creative Writing and minoring in Accessibility Studies. (I also wanted to major in ASL but due to how heavy the qorkload was and how much school I was missing due to my health, I had to choose something else). My minor is what I'm interested as a career, but the field is new and as far as I can tell its the only program of its kind in the US. But it freaks me out because, since this is a new field, its unclear what jobs are available or will be created in the next decade. I think watching your video has made me feel better about all the unknowns.
I’m in a similar situation. I’m 25 and still don’t know what I want to be when I grew up. I majored in social work in college and after working in the field a couple of years realized that It’s not the place for me. I now work in an office environment and have started taking some accounting classes. I’m still not positive that’s what I want to do forever though. It feels like it might be my flight attendant phase.
Jennie Moore I feel you. I also am 25 years old and I studied educational sciences and wanted to work with migrants and refuges. I was really bored while studying it and now I study to become a latin and history teacher. And now I am really happy with learning so much but in the end I still am not sure what the best for me is. Being in your mid twenties is hard and still not having it all figured out stresses me out so much 😅
I came out to most of my friends last week, and they've been super supportive: they've been asking pronouns, and some have asked if I want a new name.
I just wanted to brag about my friends... XD
Ash's Advice Corner, starring life and its cruelty
Love this!
Ayyyy it's Ty
Ty Turner love YOU!
@@HeyThere005 shucks ;p
Thank you for sharing, I also felt a lot of pressure to graduate, go to college, basically do everything in the "right" order like everyone else. It was all way too much and I basically did the same thing with dropping out and then going back much later with a different major
Yea, screw normative timelines. You just gotta find the timeline right for YOU.
Whoah ash thats a lot of swearing
How many beers did you drink
I swear when I'm really feeling a topic. Zero beers this time :)
@@HeyThere005 So less beer and more chat. Have to say it has been awesome to see how you've grown from cute side braid ashley to now (even writing ashley feels weird) and how I've grown up with you (I wasn't even out to myself when I first started watching you, let alone anyone else)
Really needed that. i'm currently struggling, not really finding what i wanna do, but having to deal with the educational system to get where i want. often i feel like i can't deal with the pressure and the fact that i literally have to study all the time if i want to keep up. also the fact that i'm very not self confidence and every time i tell people what i want to do with my degree they keep telling me how difficult it is to find a job in this industry. i was feeling kind of lost tonight tbh, so i will keep this video in mind. thanks for sharing your journey
high key really needed to hear this right now. been struggling so much this past month and feeling so lost in where I want to be, and what I want to do. and it sucks feeling so lost, but its nice to hear that it doesn't always have to be that way
I'm so proud of yaw!!!! I'm so glad you found your spark... Thanks for sharing your journey!!!
Ash your videos really helped me build up the courage to come out to my family as a Trans guy- thank you so much!!
💗❤💗❤
·XandyDandy· Congrats!!! 💖💖💖🏳️🌈🏳️🌈
That's amazing. They helped me woman, up to cut my hair and come out to my parents as pansexual.
Congratulations!!
That’s so amazing 🥺 congrats. ❤️🧡💛💙💜🏳️🌈
💪💚
You're definitely not alone, Ash. I dropped out of grad school several years ago after realizing I didn't want to teach (and the financial burden was awful). It took until either last year or this year to decide that I wanted to be a librarian. I'm 29 now, and thought for so long I would have a job I hated, or wouldn't find a career for me--one that I was passionate about.
I'm also an English major. So, major empathy.
You're gonna do awesome in psych! You got this. 😊
As a fellow 27 year old who has just returned to university (grad school) to study their dream masters in Visual Anthropology, I can vouch for Ash. Take your time, try not to pressure yourself and you’ll figure things out eventually ☺️💖 so happy for you, Ash!
REALLY needed this video. Also can you talk about if you’re worried about being “fragile” and wanting to be a therapist? Like are you afraid other people’s emotions (like clients) will crush you?
Ash, I love your openness on topics that we struggle to come to terms with. Most of us have lied, or as I like to say, stalled, in being forthcoming with something we haven't yet figured out for ourselves. There's no shame in waiting until you're comfortable or sure of what you're doing, and the way in which you want to tell others your news. I admire you, thank you for sharing.
Really enjoyed this video! I dropped out after my first year in undergrad, and took this year off to learn some new languages and go to therapy a ton, and now I know what I want to do with my life! I seriously related to how your depression and uncertainty interacted, that's where I was at the beginning of 2019. Good luck with your studies! I know I'm looking forward to mine in 2020
Post graduation and/or Post dropout depression is REAL.
congrats Ash this is amazing!! i feel so happy for you ❤️
also i relate to your story pretty much. i'm turning 26 and i dropped college twice already. i went back to school last september after three years of trying to figure it all out, and well i guess i have the spark again!
i agree pretty much with everything you said about pressure and rules. anything is possible!
(your shirt is cool btw)
Before high school I always wanted to be a pediatrician. Then after volunteering in a children's hospital for about a year, I honestly didn't have the heart for it. While in high school I was in the engineering magnet and I dreaded having to go to college but did so because you know, parents. I started of as a Computer Science major with a minor in Math. People expected me to be into computer things all along that one day after taking humanities I decided to change to Anthropology. I had no idea what I was going to do with this major and ended up graduating with a BS in Anthro/Socio with a cert in Asian studies.
I literally been doing tech support in call centers since. I don't like it because it is barely tech support. Back in late high school and early college years I always wanted to work with computers, whether it is IT or computer programming. In the end, I've just been working into getting certified for IT because school is definitely not for me. I was always drawn to things more when I wasn't learning them in school.
We really sometimes just let people get into our head instead of doing the things we want to do from the start. I'm 30 now so there really isn't a timeline for when you find out what you want from your life. Who knows, maybe in 10 years this will change.
Thanks for sharing Ash~
I love you Ash! You're so honest and authentic and amazing! And thanks for sharing this life journey search!
Ugh I needed this today. Just transferred to a 4-year from a community college after dropping out of a very high-level program and immigrating to the US and I'm feeling lost this month. I would love to hear more about therapy too, right now I'm trying to navigate my insurance's therapy system and it's a nightmare that's draining my energy.
This was really heartening :) What an opportune time to watch this video--I've watched most of Ash's videos from the last several years or so but I've been in a panic-spiral about my career following a lot of failed attempts of school/jobs/etc.. I feel like you get this message from the media to "follow your dreams" and then another message from people in real life saying to "be practical, most people don't love their jobs, just settle and be miserable forever" and on top of that I just can't... Imagine settling. By nature I'm restless and ambitious and when I'm bored I get immeasurably depressed. I went to school for violin making for two years which was super cool and enabled me to study far from home and learn a lot about myself and life, but like Ash said it felt like something that I wanted to be a hobby. I've now been home for over a year and I'm trying to apply to university and I'm just so worried about what I'm going to study and where I'm going to go and what I can do with whatever education I get. I can't imagine myself being engaged in something for long and I'm scared I'll just feel like I'm slipping and falling my entire life... But whatever. I'm 21. According to standard timeline that's old to be starting school, and I do feel bad about that, but also fuck timelines. I'll just keep going.
I really needed this this week, and I will definitely need to rewatch it a bunch of times too. I just dropped out of my counselling course, not because it isn’t what I want to do (it’s been my dream for years now but things haven’t been particularly straight forward) but because the place I was studying wasn’t right for me. I now have a whole year until I start a new course which I’m so excited about but also anxious about that year out. Finding what you want to do and getting there is really hard and I so appreciate this video for highlighting that. (Also I would love to hear more about your course and your experience studying)
I’m so happy for you, Ash! Also, as an extra plug for amino, i was sad and lonely the other night and i messaged a lovely human who called out for people to chat with them, and they were nice and supportive and listened to me vent, so thank you person and hey people here’s a reason to get amino!
"I don't want to be a professional CZcamsr. I'm just doing this as a hobby."
(Casually has over half a million subscribers)
You could have fooled me, Ash. You are crushing it. I hope to someday be as good a CZcamsr as you.
More to the point, though: you're proving that you don't have to do this full-time in order to be successful at it. You don't have to give up on a normal career in order to grow a booming community on CZcams. You can, in a sense, have your cake and eat it too. Which is really comforting, as someone who is in a similar situation (working a full-time job and also attempting to make CZcams work). So, thanks for the pep talk. It was exactly what I needed right now.
Agreed. I have a fledgling CZcams channel that I tooled around within my mind for like 5 years before I started creating content, and I just sorta stopped altogether about a year ago because it was too much time and effort on projects I just wasn't passionate about. I started it with the intention of it being a sort of side thing: a fun place for me to explore personal projects and to rant about my opinions that I usually sling at an empty wall. But when I started the act of doing it, it felt like a full time job and was taking so much from me that I burnt out super quick. Thank you, Ash, for showing me that it is possible to make a successful CZcams channel while keeping it a hobby and not a full-time job.
Thank you so much for bringing this up! That's one thing I think about a lot. There's so much pressure to figure out what I want to do and who I want to be and I'm just starting high School so I can't imagine what it's like to have already graduated high school or college and having even more pressure to know what I'm doing. I would love to hear more about this and your new career if you are able and wanting to share. Thank you for all the work you've put into this community. I hope you'll stay passionate about what you want to do.
This is literally the first video I've ever seen of yours, and I'm so grateful to have run into your channel! I'm in the middle of this myself (grad school, actually) and trying to figure it all out. Thanks for sharing and being so open and real!
I spend a lot of time trying not to worry about how I’m “behind” on the timeline (and a lot of time feeling crappy about it anyway). Thanks, Ash for helping convince me a little more that it’s okay 💕
Thanks for posting this Ash. I have been having a hell of a year after dropping out of Engineering undergrad school. I am 21, and I just CAN'T DECIDED ON A FREAKING CAREER. But this reminds me I should not worry about age that much, and that I can eventually get there. Thanks
Ash, Wow, words cannot explain how much this video and it's message means to me. I'm changing my major finally after two years of feeling like I should but caving to my families pressure to pursue a medical degree. I'm taking psych classes and really enjoying them, and right now I'm thinking I'll get my bs in Psych but after that... I can't even begin to know. I'm reaching out to others for the first time and finding echoed anxiety for the future as well as encouragement and support I've lacked for so long. A few weeks ago I couldn't sleep from anxiety and I journaled to calm my thoughts. Part of that journalling was making a list of people I knew of who changed directions, either career or major, and are happier for it and doing well. I put you on that list, and it reminded me that I can't have it all figured out right now, but I am listening to my heart by changing majors, and that's the first step. Thanks so much for this video, I'm definitely saving it to rewatch when I'm unsure of myself. Congratulations on your new path!
I'm sooo tired and done with the career that I choose (graphic design), but because I only need to start my thesis, I just continue, hoping to graduate one day. However, I've been feeling like a failure since I'm wayy behind other people that started the career at the same time as me (all of them are already finishing their thesis or about to present it, while I haven't even started yet). Some day, I would like to study photography and maybe museology too. I hope to find something that I'll really enjoy doing. Thank you for the video Ash, I'm happy for you and wish you the best!! 💖
I love this, and I'm so glad you found something that gives you that spark 😁 my mom is a therapist and I think you will be an awesome therapist someday!
I went through a couple of majors over a long period of time too. I started a PhD in clinical psych this semester. I love my classes and I’m good at them too. Your path is totally valid and I’m glad you found your “thing” too.
Loved hearing about your journey and I’m so glad to hear you finally found a spark! I work with college students (and am also finishing a masters at 27) and always try to share stories like this to let them know if they change their minds, it’s okay. I hope you share more about what you are learning-I think it fits with all the things you already do in such a cool way and I’d love to hear more!
This video is so inspirational and made me so incredibly happy and hopeful as to what I have to look forward to in my future. Thank you so incredibly much for this Ash! You are amazing and fantastic and you’re doing great things!!! 💕💕 (PS: that shirt looks SOO GOOD ON YOU OMG!)
Thank you for talking about choosing a career that is right for you versus what looks good to other people. :D
I feel this so much. My boyfriend of 7 years, who I thought I would be with forever, and I just broke up. My job is filled with sexual harassment. I have a master’s degree in something I’m no longer passionate about. I just moved back in with my parents at 25. Needless to say, I’m emotionally crushed and need to find a new path in life. Thanks for making this, it’s given me some hope ❤️
I'm young but I definitely feel that. My girlfriend of three years broke up with me this summer. I started college going for ecology, then I panicked bc I hated the politics and quit after one class, then I switched to general biology, then I transferred and went into genetics, then this summer I had a single conversation with my advisor and we decided that I should change my major and I'm majoring in medical technology now and I don't think I really need that like, 100% passion thing, I just need something where I can be stable and have a life outside of my job. Idk where it'll go in the future. I know the training program is going to be super overwhelming, and I'll probably be exhausted for half of it, but even if I hate it and need to do something else I think it'll be good having the experience of like, almost working in a job.
I have dealt with a lot of sexual harassment as well. I'm sorry you're going thru that.
I have no way to express how much I relate to this. Thank you so much for posting this, and I can't wait to hear more about your new career
You're so great ash, I think it's so amazing that you, an adult, is putting this out there. In highschool there's a lot of pressure to figure out what you want to do like,,, right now. But I would SUPER LOVE it if you made more videos about becoming a therapist bc that's definitely what I want to do with my life, and seeing someone take the path I want to go down would be incredible :)) ily
Dang this video was heavy but ended so well and I am so excited for you ❤️❤️ but like a calm, warm fuzzy excitement.
I'm in high school and feeling the pressure to make a decision now. This was really helpful to see.
This resonates with me SO much, I recently used the break up analogy when changing career, it does feel so heavy and daunting and can really end up causing a lot of anxiety and depression if you don’t feel like you have a career goal or life direction, I love all your videos but this one really hits home, I’m so so glad you found what you want to, I wish everyone knew these things don’t fall into place over night! Best of luck with your masters, I’ve just started mine too !!
I’d love to hear more about counselling psych and your experiences with/career hopes for therapy. I’m in my mid twenties and not sure of my career path, but this sounds fascinating! Thanks for another great video Ash, I’m so glad things turned out so well in the end :)
This was so well timed!! Thank you so much. I’m 22, currently just finished my Bachelor’s in Gender Studies and have been depressed and panicked for months, not knowing what I’m doing with my life. Thank you for the reassurance :)
Just out of curiosity, what kind of jobs can you get with a gender studies degree? I mean why go into that field?
Ava Buchan Everything will fall into place. I am 44 and the worst time of my life was right after college graduation. It’s a weird, confusing time.
You can do lots of things with a gender studies degree! Pursue a master of social work and work in a non-profit for vulnerable women, pursue an education degree and help teach the next generation about social justice. See if local non-profits will hire you at the intern level. The possibility are endless you just have to direct them! :) I believe in you stranger.
Is anyone going to talk about how their shirt is amazing and the deep v neck looks amazing on them?
It's so awesome to see you happy. I've followed your journey on and off through the years and it really is wonderful to see you doing so well.
LOVE LOVE LOVE! thank you for sharing your experiences so openly. I'd love to hear more about your educational career path!
Grad school is brutal when you also have a life outside of school lol I also worked full time while getting my MBA. I’m half way through a doctoral program now... bleh lol It’s exhausting.
I’m only starting 8th grade, but there’s already so much pressure to decide what program you want to do in high school and what you want to do in college and when you graduate.
Yes I relate to you so much
This was very encouraging to see, thank you for making this video.
This video is so inspiring and comforting. It's so easy to think you're the only one struggling with these thoughts and decisions. Thank you for sharing
UGH YES to this whole video!!👏 I feel you completely on so many of these points, I also do CZcams casually (currently for a living while I’m in school) and have had multiple opportunities to work in the CZcams community/music industry in LA, but turned down every offer for the exact same reason! LA is toxic, fake, and full of sociopaths lol. It caters to competitors and business people, everyone is your best friend until they can’t use you for anything anymore. So I ended up moving to Minneapolis (Woo Minnesota!) to start school this year in something totally different. Hopefully when I graduate I can get a job and do CZcams for fun again without the pressures of making videos/dealing with advertisers and staying relevant.
Anyways big yes to “fuck a normative timeline”! And fuck the idea that status and fame and power will bring you happiness. Good on you for chasing what you want and not being afraid to change course. This video reaffirmed my confidence in going to school even though everyone thinks I’m crazy for it haha. Thank you for sharing!
You’re in Minnesota too! Yeah, I’d never move to LA from here. Be happy! :)
I just Ordered your book and I am so excited to receive it. I’ve been struggling with my identity my whole life and it wasn’t until the last few years I’ve really dug deep and started to figure out who I am. Of course that changes day by day but I’m finally starting to make sense to myself. I found your channel a few weeks ago and its been tremendously inspiring. Thank you so much and don’t stop spreading the love 🌈
This is so well timed for me. I’m in my senior year of high school absolutely dying over picking the right college and what I want to study and what career I want it to lead me to and the right “life path” and I have put SO much pressure on myself. This was super reassuring and cool and great, I’d love to hear about your journey into psych and your path in general (psych was one of my favorite classes in high school!). Your videos are a great example of how you don’t need “fame” and “connections” to have a positive impact on others. Congrats on everything I guess, and thank you :)
Oof. The "f normative timelines" line needs to be desperately spread. I really wish I heard this repeating my last year of high school.
it's always amazing how many of ash's videos just come out right when i needed to hear whatever they had to say in that video. i've been studying management (&culture) for a year now and i thought i really loved it but i realized like...that management maybe isn't...for me (mostly the pressure & responsibility aspect but also the capitalism aspect)? like i love the culture part but my study programme kind of neglects that part so it doesn't really spark joy and i'm just doing it because i'm *supposed* to keep doing it. anyway! i cut my friend's hair a few weeks ago and i jokingly said to him "wow i should become a hairdresser" and i couldn't stop thinking about it so now that's my new plan??? anyway that decision made me really happy so it's nice to hear that you found a career that sparks joy as well!
CONGRATS ON A NEW PLAN. That is very exciting. Way to be brave and go for it :)
@@HeyThere005 thank you! i'll actually have to wait for a while before i can start but i *am* very excited
This is really comforting for me right now, thank you for making this and being so open. I just graduated from university in May and am feeling very unsure of what to do with my life. I majored in photography at an art school and am feeling a lot of pressure to be doing something in the field since I'm working at a fun but unrelated, not well-paying job. Much like CZcams, there's a lot of schmoozing involved in becoming successful in the art industry and that really isn't me at all. Some of my friends from school are working jobs that are at least adjacent to photography (photoshop, communications, gallery assisting etc.) and I feel like I should be too in order to get a foot in the door or whatever. However, I've realized that if I'm going to be doing something art related, I want it to fully be something I am passionate about. If I can make a living doing that eventually, awesome, but if not, I'd much rather be doing something non-art related to pay the bills and keep art as something on the side that I truly enjoy doing. Which is why I like my current working situation, but like I said, it doesn't pay very well so while it's fine for now, eventually I want to be in a place where I'm more financially comfortable so I'm struggling with how I'm going to get there. Can I work my way up to a position that pays the amount I want? Should I buckle down on art-making to get a decent secondary income that way? Should I start searching for another career that I would be satisfied with? I dunno!!! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Thank you for sharing, Ash! ❤️ I'm close to graduating undergrad and I've always struggled with anxiety and the fear that I'll never be where I'm "meant" to be and it's only getting worse as people ask me what I'm going to do after I graduate. Watching this gave me a lot of comfort!
Oh my gosh, I’m a junior in hs taking asl and wanting to pursue a major in psych but doesn’t know how he’s going to apply it later in life
Deaf and Hoh people don't have access to enough therapists with ASL skills. Could be something to think about?
Ash Hardell that’s one thing I’ve thought about, I like the idea of helping people and also applying something I enjoy
so you ended up right back where you started? 😂 message! love it. ❤
also, i hope you keep up w| your ASL if you're gonna be a counselor. you'll be needed! ❤✊🏾
I would love to refresh my ASL skills and see if I can offer anything to Deaf or HoH persons :)
I’m enby & HoH and will literally move to MN for this 😭
Thank you so much for this video. I graduated from college this spring and feel so lost when I consider next steps. Hearing that others have also felt this way and grew to find their passion gives me hope.
I really resonate with this video. I always have been/feel like I will be lost in life. Like Ash, I started off as being a psych major and get SO much crap for it. It makes me feel like crap. I never know what I would like to do for the rest of my life, and like Ash, am constantly just trying to find that "spark". This video really helped me out. Yes, I hear constantly that "you have time" and "it's okay if you don't know what you want to do". But, with the INSANE amount of social pressure makes it feel impossible. It will be great when I find that spark.... eventually. Thank you for everything, Ash.
Hello ash i discoverd your channel yesterday and i acctually love ur vids
They're amazing. Welcome to the club
Ash I appreciate you a bunch
You are so genuine it floors me every time I see your videos like this and you're so honest and it's just... omg overwhelming how good it is to see people being open and honest about their experiences
I am so happy you found your passion that so cool. Thank you for being so open and vulnerable!!! I am sure this will help a lot of people! Love you!!!!
Needed this ❤ I'm working my first full time job post undergrad and had just recently dropped out of a pre-speech pathology program that just wasn't for me. So I'm feelin' a little lost, but this gave me some hope to know that I'll be okie 🥰 Love ya, Ash!
WHOA. 95% of folks who graduated with my major went onto speech pathology....I was just weird and thought about going a different path. So you and I probably experienced some very similar classes/training!
@@HeyThere005 yup yup! And like you said, I still find the subject super interesting but the curriculum was just not my pace (almost entirely online). Who knows? Maybe I'll go back to it in the future :)
Dude I also just dropped out of a masters program that wasn't right for me. Now I'm lost and trying to recalibrate. You're definitely in good company!
Anyone else completely in love with their hair or just me? 😂💜
Thank you for sharing this! I am currently working through what I want to do next for my career/learning and am having a hard time deciding. Thank you for sharing your journey and I would love to hear more about your grad program and counseling!
Thanks for sharing these parts of your life, Ash. A lot of what you said is so relatable.
You’re amazing, Ash! I’ve been having a lot of anxiety about my future lately, and I appreciate your vulnerability and honesty. I feel less alone.
Also, I think it’s so odd that there are Trump ads before your video. 😂
Ash, you are the most beautiful CZcams airplane lady, don’t you ever change!
We love you.
Change "lady" to "person" or "human" or "potato" and I love this comment. It made me giggle ^_^
Ash Hardell I’m trans, too. I just was kinda distracted.
I’m really fond of the term “demiflux guydike”. Idk why but it just feels like it fits.
This video helped me so so much! Thanks so much for sharing, Ash!!!!
You are an incredible inspiration. This is a really great video and probably helped a lot of people. I appreciate your vulnerability and I'm so glad you followed your intuition and knew what was best for you. I'm sure a lot of people needed to hear this!!
I am 27 and I just found my dream job, Librarian!
This is actually something that I need! I’m in my first year of college and all my friends seem to know what they want to do, but I’m still confused. I really want to study pysch but all the comments about it have been said to me. I want to help people mentally and I think the best way for me to do it is by becoming a psychologist
Most people recommend that you do your bachelors in social work (that way you can work once you graduate) and then do your masters in psychology. This guarantees you more options down the line as well!
I’m so happy you made this video. I’ve been struggling with what I want to do, and it just seems like that’s all anyone cares about. My first therapy session my counselor was pushing me to get a job, find a career, etc. but all it did was make me feel anxious and stressed (I’m scared to go back because I don’t want him to do it again). All my family talks about is “what do you want to be when you’re older” and “do you have a job right now?” And I KNOW those things are important, really, but I’m struggling so much with depression I can’t even focus on school. This video made me feel a lot better :)
Watching this, I teared up so bad... I definitely can relate to the search for a job or a path that will spark you. I'm glad the search seems to be over for you :)
Ah, well, I’ve dropped out of high school and don’t want to do _anything_ with my life...
My story: I went from being incredibly *vital* to permanently disabled, wheelchair bound, in chronic pain, ordered to be horizontal 23 hours a day (including eating, dressing, bathing, bathroom and personal hygiene) having my mother come across state lines as my live-in caregiver and an extra 39.5 hrs of daytime caregiving services by the time I reached your age.
For my 26th birthday, my longest relationship (of five years ended)
In the past 12 months I have had both brain and heart surgery and was both physically and sexually assaulted.
Thanks to Trump's "war on opioids" my access to my pain medication/treatment has been progressively decreased (including no post-operative care for my brain surgery when I was also recovering from the sexual assault that occurred in the hospital), as was my only anti-anxiety medication in the eight months that I waited to see a psychiatrist after the carjacking and physical assault - less than 3 days after my he actually reduced it 30% overnight because of the class...
Also during the numerous times that I tried to report it I had numerous "professionals" use the phrase that I "fantasized" my sexual assault - despite tremendous physical evidence.
My point in all of this is that according to physicians, the government, and also those are I relied on most when I became financially destitute when I was first unable to continue working --- I'm a "non contributing member of society."
However every single thing that has happened to me as a result has only INCREASED my power to be seen, made me *MORE* outspoken, and a stronger voice for those who are overwhelmed and afraid/unable to speak out for/assist themselves.
I once fancied studying to be an advocate/advisor for the LGBTQ+ community, domestic violence, and/or sexual/physical/emotional abuse and assault - and instead life has educated me in it.
Those who know me know I'm available day or night for crisis calls (many times I was taking them when I was in homeless or domestic violence shelters myself)
And now, I have a speed dial for reporting - and practically have handwritten brochures with crisis centers ect ready to slip through a window or car door for any neighbors or strangers in need.
---
Long story short: you may not realize what your purpose is until it's been handed to you - and then, it can be a hand up.
Wow. You are quite strong.
TAMBSin M Thank you. And thank you for reading this, as well as replying. It helps. It matters. Believe it or not, little things like that help me keep going.
@@searchingfororion you're welcome. You really are quite strong. Chronic pain and disability are difficult to manage before depression sets in. And you have found something positive to focus on in all of your struggles. It really shows how strong you are. Admirably strong.
TAMBSin M Wow. Thank you very very much. It really sounds like you're one of the people who get it. Chronic pain is one of those things that you either do or you don't.
It's amazing really how hard it is for me to communicate to those who fall into the latter group.
I wish I was doing more to be worthy of the praise however. Right now I'm just working on keeping myself together and afloat.
@@searchingfororion that is pretty hard when you hurt all the time. Give yourself credit for it.
This video is exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you ash! Love from New York
"have fun getting a job with that" well they're not wrong...
Ash, you’re incredible! I’ve just gone back to school as well (Im 36 and already have a Masters and a PhD in another discipline!). Similarly I just kind of followed the ‘next step’ without thinking a lot about it. I went into academia and it wasn’t until I had a break down that I realised I needed a change. Thank you for talking so openly and candidly about this. 💙💙
This video was really lovely and really helpful. I'm graduating high school in six short weeks and the anxiety is real. It was super refreshing to hear about all the different directions your career has gone and I'm so glad you found something you're passionate about!! Thanks for sharing, Ash :^)
Thank you for sharing your story, it really helps to know that other people (who I view as successful and a role model) struggle with their path and their decisions too❤️
Please share more of your experiences as you go through your study! So pleased for you :)
My path has been mildly windy... Mostly an environmental focus, but a shift from practical conservation to supporting work forced by a need for hip surgery. I'm still not settled, or sure of what to aim for. I think I know the feel of the type of job I want, but not the actual role or how to get there.
I'm also learning more about high sensitivity and high sensation seeking, both of which traits I have, and trying to figure out how to best operate in a world that doesn't really recognise or meet my needs.