5 Ways Introverts Intimidate People
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- čas přidán 7. 06. 2024
- Are you an introvert who's tired of being misunderstood or labeled as "intimidating"? From our quiet nature to our tendency to think before speaking, introverts often give off signals that can be misinterpreted by others. Introverts often face a stigma that they are intimidating, unapproachable, or even unfriendly. This perception can be frustrating for introverts who feel misunderstood and unfairly judged. It can also be a barrier to forming meaningful connections and relationships. So we made this video to reduce the stigma.
If you're an introvert looking to better understand yourself or someone who's trying to better understand the introverts in your life, join us as we delve into the world of introversion and share some common behaviors that can lead to misunderstandings.
We also made a video on the struggles only introverts can relate to: • 6 Struggles Only Intro...
Writer: Brandi Ortiz
Editor: Rida Batool
Script Manager: Kelly Soong
Voice Over: Amanda Silvera ( / amandasilvera )
Animation: / ayacchi
CZcams Manager: Cindy Cheong
#introvert #introvertcommunity #introverts
References:
Breit, C. (2018, August 27). The surprising benefits of being an introvert. Time. Retrieved from time.com/5373403/surprising-benefits-introvert/
Cherry, K. (2022, September 9). How acetylcholine functions in your body. Verywell Mind. Retrieved from www.verywellmind.com/what-is-acetylcholine-2794810#toc-frequently-asked-questions-24a2ae8b-19d5-4363-aa2f-b457199e38b7
Dembling, S. (2015, January 19). The conversation introvert-extrovert couples need to have. Psychology Today. Retrieved from www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/the-introverts-corner/201501/the-conversation-introvert-extrovert-couples-need-have
Frothingham, M. B. (2022, January 17). How you can tell that you're an introvert. 8 Signs You're an Introvert - Simply Psychology. Retrieved from hwww.simplypsychology.org/signs-you-are-an-introvert.html
Granneman, J. (2015, December 21). Why introverts and extroverts are different: The science. Quiet. Retrieved from quietrev.com/why-introverts-and-extroverts-are-different-the-science/
Grant, E. T. (2019, February 5). 8 unexpected signs you may be giving off intimidating energy. Bustle. Retrieved from www.bustle.com/p/8-unexpected-signs-you-may-be-giving-off-intimidating-energy-15922540
Hofmann, G. (2013, January 16). Our fear of silence. Psych Central. Retrieved from psychcentral.com/blog/our-fear-of-silence
Latson, J. (2019, August 21). The intimidation factor. Psychology Today. Retrieved from www.psychologytoday.com/us/articles/201908/the-intimidation-factor
I think another reason people find introverts intimidating is that old quote, 'Watch out for the quiet ones'.
Ahaha XD
True. I'm an introvert.
Well, it is said in the video that introverts can analyze people and have strong observation skills. Which means they can see and understand how you will act in which situation. And maybe use them against you sometimes?😅
lmao that is soo true. Sometimes u do gotta watch out for some quiet ones not all ofc.
As a quiet one myself, I can vouch that we tend to think that everyone else is a “loud one” and we plan accordingly. 🙃
As an introvert myself, I would rather be seen as intimidating than weak and prone to exploitation. If people have to think twice before engaging with me, it's a positive more often than it's a negative.
So agree with this. Fellow introvert here and I really wish certain extroverts didn't think that introverts are more prone to being weak and exploited because of lack of social experience. I have had some try to make me bend over backwards for them like they're the main character or something and I'm just an NPC. On the bright side, you see one of these types, and you've seen most of them (ie they are very easy to spot... love-bombers, super clingy, call you their best friend when you are clearly not, do something small for you and expect the world in return etc...)
As an introvert I am the one intimidated by other people . But my body language and expression is completely opposite. People perceive me as intimidating and are scared of me .😊
@@Youkai_arts same here. Thank god my emotional responses aren't great. On the other hand,
@@meh8650 I had one guy in my middle school English class call himself my friend. I gave him a dead eye stare and said "You are an acquaintance at most."
@@kmladwig2666 Even if you don't need people on an emotional level you still have to coexist with them. Burning bridges for the hell of it makes you more of an a-hole than an introvert.
Introverts are intimidating because anyone interested in getting to know them has to put in effort; but with the high risk of being rejected by them. Introverts can be very selective & can see foolishness from a mile away.
So many people are so lazy nowadays.
@@redmage8719 I don't blame anyone for being lazy, this world brings it in us all.
I'm a abnivert so I guess I can be intimidating at times 😅
Fr
I am selective about who are my friends and who I will let in.
As an introvert I can say I’m not intimidated
Im the one who gets intimidated by everyone 💀
Literally me
Too relatable 😭
Real 😬
for me i feel it goes both sides
Same here with me.
If someone called me intimidating, I would be literally laughing 😂
Cause calling me intimidating feels like seeing a cat and saying that it's a lion
Same except for my RBF due to autism and chronic pain I try soooooo hard to be friendly but then people are like ewwww
An introvert is like a house cat but other people think of us as lions.
Tbh now I know why that one dude is scared of me😢
@@kamajikibutsu if you are a girl that is probably because you make him nervous,if you are a guy it maybe becuase you are decnetly tall so your unpredictability makes you appear dangerous
@@millicentgordon5427 how do I make him nervous?🥲
Is it because I don't smile or is it generaly just because of my glare?
As an introvert, I’ve found people get bored with me in a weird way.
I had a coworker say you’re boring me. She didn’t like that I kept to myself after some shallow conversation. I replied with, I’m not your entertainment, I’m your coworker.
The argument portion is completely accurate. I hate showing emotion and have always tried arguing logically. In some contexts it seems to make things worse.
I love my quiet time. My alone time. I am laying in a comfy bed right now alone. I have lovely people who understand this in my life. Friends who know I’m not the one to invite to things, but am the one to tell me how it went.
This is super relatable and I wish ppl understood me too but maybe I will get someone to understand in the future
Super Duper relatable i like being left alone not being interacted
I relate but I have forced myself to be more extroverted around new people because when I do want to talk to people I sorta know they always get intimate by me talking.
Just add emotions to your logic, if acting gets you the intended result, then it's just logic.
Yes, this is so relatable! Too many people find me too calm and quiet that they sort of brush me off because I’m not really entertaining. And some even do tell me I’m actually boring.
0:32 1. Separate from society
1:33 2. Big brained
2:40 3. The awkward silence
3:27 4. Emotions under wraps
4:19 5. Easy to read
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
3,4,5, are me in a nutshell.
Thank you)
Some people can read introverts moods
This is not correct for all introverts. I intimidate nothing. I am a male of 167 centimetres (5 Foot 6 inches) at 70.3 kilos (155 pounds). A male of this stature, no matter how introverted, loud, quick to anger, calm, or aggressive, is going intimidate nobody. It is like a chihuahua. They bark and attack, but nobody is going to be frightened. Introversion is not going to be intimidating from someone like me. A small guy like me has to be introverted. Nobody likes us. But then again, maybe nobody likes an introverted small guy. At least I am not an angry, blubbery, smelly, behemoth of a man, that begs for attention by being aggressive.
as an introvert, i try to smile to not intimidate people but im too introverted to smile at others 😭
SAME AHAHA
That's so relatable 😢
😄 Same here. But I have a mean rbf. I'm working on calming that down.
Lmao
That is so me, this is why I don't smile a lot or I rarely smile
Introverts are also able to when arguing with someone, hold their feelings until the other person questions them so much, they explode
Being intimidating isn’t a bad thing. The person who considers you intimidating is their problem, not yours. Keep doing you. If people are too afraid to actually get to know you, they not meant to be apart of your circle.
just make sure you dont frown too much,that is the biggest thing that will make anyone avoid introverts all the time
I always felt that someone look whose intimidating is a nice way of saying your ugly....
@@gabeguzman9478 not at all
Yeah but the people intimidated by it may hate you and start avoiding you 🥲
I’ve been told by lots of people that they thought I look annoying or snob just because I stay in my silence and then after talking to me say ohh but actually you’re so sweet. People wants attention so much and when we sit quiet somewhere and don’t need that attention they feel like it’s a rude thing. It’s sad.
Yeah its sad... Thats why i better keep on living to annoy people
Especially when you’re a young woman of color. Uffffff it’s ten times worse. Because now you have to consider everything else society thinks of you by default too. Being born introverted has made me jaded and guarded.
I always find myself staring at random people without even knowing it
And what do strangers say in response when you stare at them without even realizing?
I do this too. I almost always catch my self staring at someone. I think it's because I'm just trying to learn more about them by looking at them, their clothes and their body language. But I always feel so bad whenever they see me looking at them cause they probably think I'm weird or creepy
@@Psych2go hi, I’m a big fan of the channel and I’m glad I got to share with you. This channel gave me the courage to reach out and get the help I needed so now I can try to get better. Usually people stare back and after a few seconds I realize what’s happened or sometimes people say something like “hey what are you doing” I get how uncomfortable it can be but I can’t control it. I think it makes it more uncomfortable when it happens at school because I would see then a lot.
I live in Germany, staring ist quite normal behavior, here...
@@bainwen6630 I am third generation Canadian from Germany so we sometimes speak it at home so maybe I that is where I get it from
Being independent, having a strong mindset and personality is what you work to build your whole life I will never change that
Those are good traits to have. Be proud ❤️
Balance works best for where I'm at in life. Even if I go through stages of having to be by myself because everyone else in my life is busy (or if I'm the one who's busy), there's a limit to my own introverted tendencies. I believe that everybody has a unique mix of introversion and extroversion inside of them; one can't exist without the other.
Same,I’m proud of it aswell.The traits have already shown their effects.
I'm an introvert and I'm glad not to be like everyone else. Too bad people fear us when they don't realize how scared they are. Our society has been horribly breaking and is breaking harder than ever.
Yeah, true. It's very sad when u see someone that be intimidate with u because u are that one quite and introverted
According to geniuses like Gustave Le Bon, Albert Einstein, Mark Twain, Freud and many others, we live in a sick society where the real values are considered a threat and lies and illusions are welcomed with open hands.
Back in middle school, Someone caught me talking to myself alone when I was just thinking and they thought I was crazy. I believed it too since no one else in my class did it.
I think we should be normalizing self directed conversations. Many people do it a lot more than we know! Do you still talk to yourself when you're thinking?
Oh, I do that! Sometimes, I just need to say things aloud cause my mind can easily shift to other random thoughts. Other times it's cause I do not have a "similar" or just a safe person to share those thoughts and think them out loud. It's all good.
It’s completely normal and almost everyone talks to themselves. Also it’s very healthy to talk to yourself. Don’t worry you’re not alone. ❤️
I think it's also really fun sometimes to talk to ourselfs😂
I talk to myself more than I talk to my mom
I'm that guy who's quiet and reserved. I tend to separate myself but still have few friends. Multi-talented, I've realized that I pick most things up quickly. Most of my awkwardness is forcing words to come out but since I can't really interact without stumbling over my words it makes me not want to talk. But still have my thoughts keep me held together. I can be walking around or stretching and I'll have videos as background noise. If I'm mad about something I don't feel awkward for some reason. And I even become observant at times. I don't think I've been told I'm intimidating, just reserved.
You just described me.
@@BrandyWine658 Guess we're quite similar.
Here’s a question for you. Do you think that what I call “talking BS” (i.e. joking around and playing off other people) is an extrovert skill?
@@AutomaticDuck300 I thought introverts had their own way of doing that
@@tigerx36 maybe so, but I always wondered. I guess it depends on how comfortable you are with the other person.
I have never been called intimidating by anyone because I’m introverted. People have always just called me shy or weird. 🤷♀
As an introvert, I've been told or asked by many things, other than sayin I look intimidating, such as:
"Why are you sitting alone?
"Is something wrong?"
"You look upset" and the classic one, "can you talk?"
I never knew that those words can be my strength but also my weakness. It's fun getting to know myself better as an introvert.
“You look upset” is one I get so many times. I should keep a list at this point.
"The quietest one in the room is the deadliest"
-Bruce Lee
I am introvert so people don't like me because I am silent.
I feel ya
We’re all like that. There are times where I just don’t talk to anyone
@@jasonkara7281 Same sir. You have to be special for me to talk to you sir.
Me Just Staring Blank At Someone When They Mess Up Be Like:
15 year old here, this happens a lot to me. In my class, I'm the tallest and most quiet person, always sit at the back the class, spends most of their time reading type of person. I get the being more observant part and not showing emotions and enjoying silence part a lot, and this, along with my already quiet, more "rational" perspective, and certain physical attributes makes a lot of people in my class see me as intimidating or scary, and I don't like it :') If you ever saw Komi-San Can't Communicate, then its sort of like Katai or even Komi's dad or brother! but besides that, overall this affects me anywhere I go, and makes me seem "unapproachable" to a lot of people, even close friends. Today I was talking to my boyfriend about a semi-related topic and they said that I could sometimes be intimidating which honestly.. hurt a lot. I wish I had the will to send this video to all the people who think of me this way, but I've learned to just live with it so yeah! Sorry for the long rant, but I swear pshych2go always has the exact video for whatever I feel or has recently happened to me, and thanks for reading this fully haha!
I know exactly how you feel! When I was your age (I’m turning 24) and also before that I was always like that. I was always the tallest girl, have a darker skin tone and a resting biatch face. That’s why all of the boys were scared of me or called me „yucky“.
By now, my family and friends all understand me and love me the way I am, it is only a struggle meeting new people while still enjoying silence and alone time…
To be honest, I‘m so glad to not have to go to school anymore. To hear how you are treated, is really heartbreaking, but I am sure you will get through it! Stick to those who love and understand you, the others will come around eventually.
Wish you just the best✨
You’re still so young and likely you won’t even remember half of those people in about a decade. So what they think does not matter. As long as you continue to grow and discover what you can offer yourself and others, you’ll be just fine. Your sense of self worth is going to be very important if you want to live a balanced and fulfilling life. Focus more on making the best choices you can for yourself and you won’t be disappointed when you’re older. It might help to start talking in group settings. To express yourself may be intimidating but that’s why that energy is being back reflected at you. You don’t have to lose your demeanor in the process either. If you’re knowledgeable about a topic then chime in and if you’re not then ask questions. If you know you’re funny or sarcastic, make people laugh, make people think, and he’ll let them think you’re weird. At the end of the day we’re all human and we all have a different battle to deal with. If people stuck the battle out with you and hold on to your connection it is meant to be in your life and the others are not. People are people and you vibe with who you vibe with even if it’s only family. Continue to be grateful for the connections that you do have
You’re going to do great things..best wishes! 🕊
@@Prime1373 then don’t comment bruh. No one asked
People can be judgmental, inconsiderate and categorical. However, treat yourself with kindness. I can tell you are a good person with a sensitive heart. And if someone does not take time to understand that part of you then maybe it simply was not meant to be. Continue to be strong, you have support right here. ❤️
I am a lady in her fifties who has been an introvert all of my life. It is a part of my personality I can't help. People usually see me as rude or nasty sometimes, which is the furthest from the truth. I am actually a very nice but I am just quiet. Growing up I was teased and bullied in school because of it. People sometimes thought I was just weird and too quiet. I like to read, cook, listen to music and just be by myself. I have worked retail and customer service which wasn't easy but I would find a way to seem more extroverted to do my job. When I would come home from work I would feel so tired, drained and hungry after having to deal with other people for hours. I live by myself and I loved it. I have only had a couple of friends in my life. The friends I have had I consider my best friends. One of my best friends died a couple of years ago from cancer. I miss him dearly. I can relate to everything in this video.
From what I've heard, the people you encounter working retail/customer service would drain anyone, no matter how extroverted someone is.
Sorry for your loss.
Timestamps
1). Separate from society 0:32
2). Big brained 1:33
3). The awkward silence 2:40
4). Emotions under wraps 3:27
5). Easy to read 4:19
Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. 💙💙💙💙💙💙
this is so interesting to me because my friends told me that before we became friends i was intimidating to them and they were scared to talk to me when i wasnt purposely doing anything 'intimidating' cool to see the reasoning behind the ideal !!
I'm 36 years old. I only open up to people after I known them for a while, and most of the time, I keep my thoughts to myself. I don't bother anyone, nobody bothers me. Being an introvert isn't always a bad thing. I'm INFP-T.
Nice video I've always been an introvert i was raised in an isolated upbringing. I never actually knew anything outside my home. I ofcourse went to school and to playground but never really socially interacted to anyone to this day.
How do you feel about having an isolated upbringing? Does it ever get lonely sometimes or are you pretty much used to it by now?
@@Psych2go I'm actually used to it now I never got to know about my environment or outside world for many years until I recieved my first phone recently. I'm now used to it. I don't feel bad when I'm alone or don't have anyone to talk to now.
I'm an ambivert, I'm both introverted and extroverted
I'm a true introvert. I feel more relaxed and comfortable in my room and not stressed out by crowds
Sounds like you're very independent and that you're able to enjoy and thrive in what many people don't enjoy!
My students' first impression of me is always I am an intimidating person but as months go by, I become their favorite person... They often tell me how can I understand and give them safe space while their own parents/friends can't even listen to what they about to say and share.
I might look intimidating but I am a very genuine person. My students know that. They love me because of that and I love them because they see me beyond.
I appreciate the content you're sharing with us! I was wondering, have you considered creating a video on "How Extroverts Can Intimidate People"? It's fascinating to explore the subject from the opposite perspective as well.
I believe that there's validity in opting for solitude or feeling more comfortable in less crowded environments. In other words, it's perfectly okay to be an introvert and it's far from being harmful! If someone is unsettled by this, the issue likely lies with them.
However, the situation becomes disconcerting when extroverts exert pressure on introverts to conform to their style of social interaction. This seems quite intimidating and abnormal, wouldn't you agree?
the last part you wrote is very true. Imagine being pressured by an extrovert to socialize like him/her… omg
Also it would be nice to have a Video that doesn’t diss Extroverts. By making them look Bipolar. 😂
While I do see your point (some unhealthy Extroverts can be bullies if they're in a group that enables that), I think there's a risk of drawing a false equivalence there. Extroverts, by nature, become so because they have a greater need of being around other people for their enjoyment, or sometimes because they fear being alone.
That is something that will most often shape their personality to be more accommodating of group dynamics as well as towards other individuals, which means that, growing up, they will realize the behaviors that drive people away (including those that can be perceived as intimidating) and avoid them.
@@Scruffed False Equivalence? You mean you actually think introverts are more intimidating.
@@rest1585 I think introverts are more likely than extroverts to learn and/or fail to correct behaviors that others might find intimidating, yes. Obviously this doesn't apply to all introverts or extroverts, because there's only a fraction of people that behave in an intimidating way, but if I had to guess, introverts outnumber extroverts there by a significant margin.
I (an extro) am married to an introvert and love him so so much. He can tell when I'm tired, hungry or bothered before I even am aware of it. i'm also aware to prep him if we're going to do something social together and to not abandon him to his own devices unless there's at least 1-3 people there he's already met who he can at least sorta talk to. But honestly, he's just amazing.❤
I don't feel uneasy around introverts, I find them the most interesting ones.
I once had someone walk up to me and say “My friends made me talk to you because I’ve wanted to talk to you but because you intimidate me a little bit I didn’t.” And that confused me because I had never thought of what I’m really like until I figured out I’m an introvert which wasn’t that long ago because I tried to be an extrovert without realizing it saying things to just get a laugh out of people. But when I figured myself out I became kind of quiet and I realized I don’t like talking a lot and then I found that the little feeling that I had was my brain trying to tell me that wasn’t me (Psych2go helped me a lot)
When most people in your class are extroverted, they called you reserved. Now i understand why. Great video😊
I like this video better than most of the others I've seen about introverts, I'm sick and tired of seeing all these videos treating introversion like its some sort of super power, or that introverted people are these amazing unknowable creatures, who are all misunderstood. I think most people have trouble understanding others around them, introverted or not. We all have different lives with different things happening in each of them, which leaves a lot people feeling misunderstood. I believe being introverted is just one of many factors that can makes up a persons behaviour, and shouldn't be treated as such a big deal.
I can't tell if this comes across too aggressive or not, but I want to make it clear, I love the channel
One of the most annoying things that some people assume about me is that I think I'm "too good for people" or I think I'm better than others just because I feel more comfortable away from large groups of people. It's so weird.
I agree. Growing up, my younger sister and her friends would taunt and yell “here comes Miss stuck-up” she thinks she’s better than us. . .well, we can’t stand you”. Those words are stuck in my head to this day (60 years later) -whenever I’m in a group of more than 3 people. . .I become my younger, quiet, painfully introverted self🤔 The weird and surprising thing is, whenever I receive letters, notes, gifts, accolades, people always tell me how nice I am, how much they’re going to miss me, that I am a great friend. My response to myself in the mirror is “who are they talking about?” Anyway, I hope you’re doing well.
This actually explains a lot about my elementary school experience. I always had a hard time making friends, and I knew at a fairly young age that I preferred doing things by myself, but that in turn made me feel lonely when I saw other kids (especially the girls) in my grade having fun together. I wouldn’t be surprised if some of the kids thought my aloofness was intimidating.
As an introvert, I can definitely relate to the "able to read people well" aspect. Hell, sometimes something someone says can reveal a lot to me. This is probably why I'm really good at seeing the meaning behind things in media or even my own dreams
When someone asks “how was your day?” or “what’s your favorite ____?” I feel annoyed because I’m just tryin to do nothing.
Got called scary and I had mixed feelings of shock and excitement. I'm an introvert and extrovert at different times
This actually surprises me a little, that other would find me intimidating for being introverted?
I am a very gentle, timid person and they have nothing to be afraid of. I guess people make assumptions without thinking about it
After 45 years an answer and explanation to my struggle. Thank you for that summary, saw me in every point.
I always asked me, why some people have difficulties with me, know there is a step forward for me to accept, that it is fine.
Thank you for your videos, short, full of information - nicely presentation! Cheers from cologne!
Just a time traveler
Wow cool
How does you comment say it’s from 2 weeks ago when this was posted just a minute ago
I'm gonna travel inside you
It's unlisted**
Sorry guys typo
@Kayla Goetia finally someone who gets it 🤦🏼♀️ it’s 2023 and people still don’t understand this
It's hard being an introvert surrounded by extroverts. My sister says i have no emotions when the truth is i am just really good at hiding them, also i feel uncomfortable showing my emotions to others just like that. Worst part is that when in an argument the other party would casually say something hurtful to me but i could never do that. Because i always weigh my words in my head before i say them and i don't want to say something to them that i don't wanna hear myself. I know it sounds completely weird but i don't know how to better explain it. As a result of this the party insults me making me feel shitty and think they have won the argument, when they were the one at fault in the first place. But the truth is that i just didn't say what was in my head.
Introverts should not be held accountable for making extroverts feel insecure. They choose, whether consciously or subconsciously, to react in this manner. They should seize this opportunity to self-reflect and solidify their self-esteem.
The thing about observation and intelligence reminded me of a time where I solved a puzzle before anyone else, and when I was asked how I figured it out without writing anything down, I went over my process. One of the few times I enjoyed having everyone’s attention.
Don't know if this has anything to do with my introvertness or not but I am more comfortable standing when I'm waiting around but I'm constantly told "sit down, you're making me uncomfortable". Why am I not allowed to stand comfortably in silence because of someone else's insecurities?
Hahaha, my mom says why are you standing, are you planning to run away after hitting me 😂
@@IlmiMulhid Exactly! They seem to think I'm just going to jump them or something. I guess it's because I have the male equivalent of resting b*tch face when I'm thinking in silence
I’ve been that way ever since I was in preschool. My mom was called in because I never sat down. She would then ask: “ok. If he’s standing, is he still at the table? Yes. Ok. Is he physically hurting or harming anything? No. Then just let him stand if that’s what he wants to do.” I need to admit, hearing that about my 4 yr old self, it does sound amusing
Same…
Sometimes when I am in my mind I just stand/sit/walk in circles somewhere looking into nothingness…
I don‘t even really notice it and then my mom‘s like: stop running around like that in the corridor! It‘s making me nervous!
And I am like: What?
It happened to me sometimes..
Theres time where i just cant get out of my mind and endlessly walking until i get out of my mind.i remember when i was at 3rd grade my teacher is concerned something is wrong with me.they call out my parents, i dont mind those bc im just gonna answer that im okay and they just agree with it.
2:35
Well, this situation was kind of the opposite to me.
I'm introverted and I can be also intimidated. There was one person, she's so confident and whenever she suggest something, I kinda contradict it(but I kept it myself because it doesn't make sense at first until it was made). But in the end, I reflected on it myself because I'm not so confident at school and compare myself more often to others, especially her. The best thing is we're closer friends now. We did many things and especially at our farewell party, we had so much fun.
I just try to be as friendly as possible when I talk to people so that they don't feel this way. I think it's always valuable to be overly friendly towards someone even if they aren't being as friendly back towards you because most of the time they will realize that you are trying your best and will open up more and be more friendly towards you, which will make both people's day better.
This video just helped me heal on so many levels. I feel like completely different about myself before and after watching it. Thank you so much.
"Selective with their friendships" OH yeah. I remember in college we had an anime club and a few other social events my extrovert brother would attend and bring me around to now and then. And it was hard for him to comprehend that the people I was spending time with at these events, whom he considered all as "friends," were very clearly split in my head into "friends" and "people I sometimes did fun things with." For an introvert those circles are VERY different.
the “easy to read” part made me remember that in high school i would just stare at people a lot, not really because i hated them and was judging them, but because i remembered their face from a previous class. sometimes it was just because i liked to look around. i ended up making eye contact with people though and it ended up making things very awkward for me in class, and no one really talked to me, lol. :T
It only starts to hurt for real when you're *too* alone.
Ahhh- This is literally me!
I do enjoy talking with others, but I enjoy my alone time more. I sometimes scare or annoy people when I take too long to respond or if I’m too quiet/by myself 😭
Big time introvert, here. Sometimes I absolutely hate it. But sometimes I love it. I talk to myself, which I found out isn’t a totally normal thing - after my husband found out, he thought it was a little weird. I do it quite a bit when I’m 100% alone. The house, the car are the two biggest places. I’ll talk out so much that I feel like I’ve had a therapeutic session 😂
Thank you for this insightful video. As an introvert, I have been told that many found me to be intimidating while growing up. It never really bothered me. My behavior tends to drive my wife crazy since she is mostly an extrovert. (Opposites do attract since we've been married for 32 years). She learned a long time ago not to ask what I was thinking about because it became a lengthy lecture on human nature and external stimulus. (I told you that I drive her crazy sometimes). ;-)
What about introverts who are afraid of silences because they cant get a read on the other person so they become more isolated and avoid not knowing(hypothetically speaking ofc) how would one deal with that 🙂
I enjoy periods of silence between conversations. My friends and I (group of 3) often have a small silence before the extroverted one in our group starts talking again. I can understand that they can find it awkward but I really like silences
I mostly go around being a lone wolf more than being an introvert. I understand that my lack of social skills makes me trample over my words when I talk, which by itself gives me ansiety, so I just prefer being quiet. I also see myself getting stuck on the first thing said by people around me, my brain just ignores any other information after the first, tell me 3 things and I will only hear the first part and then tell you two times to repeat the other two, which makes other people think that I am slow. I overthink a lot, and when I'm out, I overthink the overthinking, and I just short circuit from all of this, which just gets me stuck at home all over again, recharging.
In the end, I prefer not to interact with others, because it's exhausting mentally.
Gotta love this channel. Picking at my introvert brain now and then. Chefs kiss.
I think another reason we are intimidating is because we stare at them a lot and can see right through them.
Yeah I do stare well take a good quick long look . Then it known what they want or fake or lying
Very insightful video! I am introverted and have always wondered about this topic. Great educational resources (studies, books, etc.)! I might personally check them all out!
I can sit, listen, and talk with this narrator all day. Her voice is amazing. So pleasing to the ear.
As an introvert, I found this video really helpful.
This is me. I always start problems at work without doing anything. I'm an introvert, I'm socially awkward, and I try to stay quiet bc people are always offended by things I do that I don't even know I'm doing. This makes for an uncomfortable work shift. I don't even know what to do anymore.
I'm the same way. I just don't know what to do or say anymore so I just keep quiet.
@@BrandyWine658 yup. And keeping quiet even gets you in trouble.
It sounds like there's a lot of misunderstanding. What are some things that you do that make people uncomfortable even if you don't mean it?
@Psych2Go I think my dry sense of humor is the most prominent. I talk so little and about certain things that when I do say something a little extreme jokingly, people are taken back. And probably don't understand that I'm joking? Idk.
@@NickHou82 This all sounds a little familiar. Have you considered the possibility you may be neurodivergent in some way? To me as an autistic person, this is very similar to my experiences.
As an introvert I think it's true,when I was working in a company first I was intimidated by others....but gradually most of them depends me....like they share their life problems and secrets with me,also they ask ideas from me.
Thank you for the confirmation. Am introvert.
I'd rather spend time with myself than force myself to hang out of people that drains my energy. So much more comfortable than to worry if something I said sounded wrong, read the other person's body language/facial expression, think of topics to talk about, etc.
Also, I started scanning around when I am walking since I was once scared by a bunch of bullies. I was just on my own, with hoodies on, and in my own thoughts. I now prefers to be prepared than to be surprised when I am outside.
One thing I have found to be really useful at work for me recently as an introvert is my ability to pay really close attention to what other people are doing and learning the ins and outs of how things work inside the building which has given me a good understanding of why some things are the way they are which that understanding gives me the strength to continue working whereas many of the people I had worked with over the last past years have long since quit working there.
Didn't know I could scare people
Thanks for this video! I’m quiet, and don’t express my emotions. Thing is, my emotions show on my face, so my coworkers can tell if something is bothering me. Lot going on in my life, been burned by ppl in my past who I thought were friends, so yea. I feel so drained when I get home from work. All the other points in this video are me too.
It's because you fear the unknown knowing what they did or what they didn't it always creates a sense of dread
I definitely think its a lot about fearing the unknown. When someone almost never talks, you get no clues on how they usually think and are as a person, it can translate to someone feeling not trustworthy, although its probably irrational 90% of the time. People who dont want to talk shouldn't have to change it, but there is a reason for it and other people cant necessarily control how they feel either.
This vid is so well made and complete with citations like a thesis
Working in a large company i almost always talk to large number of people and everytime i did that my emotional energy would tank. I am an intervort since childhood so that was expected but when i talked to the people i knew, trusted there wouldn't be any drop in that energy level...it would actually increase. While hyper analyzing things i found out that i sometimes hyper analyze people to get information on many things like their likes, dislikes, things that set them off, things they are passionate about. Going with the flow has helped this problem to a certain extent but yea still figuring out this 😅😂
I can’t hyper-analyze people. I usually don’t even think about anyone else unless it’s to make sure I’m not hindering them. The closest I’ve come to analyzing someone would probably be in sports and games, where I’m gauging how good they probably are by how they act.
I have actually felt intimidated by people who almost never speak. And I know they (most likely) dont deserve it, and its mainly my own feelings being irrational. So wanted to see what the explanation was and this being a legit phenomenon. I think its mostly about not knowing where you have them, no idea of how they usually think and are as a person beyond "quiet", and that could translate to not fully trusting them (although there most likely is nothing wrong). Also if someone else is anxious around you that can be somewhat contagious and you start feeling anxious as well, but around confident or neutrally confident people I dont feel any nervousness (unless they were an actual threat). Anyone else has felt the same way? I think feelings in general are somewhat contagious, if you are affected by it at all
Wow, that is the thing I've been thinking about lately. Someone told me that I'm hard to read (in a way: I look like I'm analysing and judging my surroundings all the time and you never know if that judgement is positive or negative). I have a severe problem with social anxiety and most of the time I'm not negative about anyone. In fact I'm just scared. Do you think it could inhibit my ability to socialise like everyone else does?
@@Marikko_ I think social anxiety usually inhibits people from socializing to some degree and may even be one of the main things that cause problems with it. Its unfortunate but thats how it is. But the ideal way to deal with it is to at least try and gradually get used to it (I get that could feel undoable if its really bad). Maybe planning out some things to talk about beforehand can help. I think if people feel like they somewhat know you, that will also make them feel more safe and comfortable around you. And that may also help you feel safer around them. Its fine to keep secrets and everybody probably has them, but it can help to share some things about your life and interests. Its fine to be selective of what you share, and some things you actually should be careful with sharing and with who
So relatable! I like being surrounded by people, but when it comes to talking to them, oh boy. Meeting people is tough. Getting used to having them around me is so lengthy and awkward. I'm much more content to let an extrovert lead the conversation while I nod in agreement or disagreement. It takes too long for me to phrase what I want to say in a way that best conveys my message.
As an introvert, I hate small talk. When random strangers try to chat with me I just stare at them until they get uncomfortable and walk away
Well done!👏👏👏The main differentiating factor between introverts and extroverts is where we gain our energy. Extroverts get it from being out in the world, socializing, stimulating that brain reward centre in big ways, and having those interactions. Introverts re-energize by being alone.
Our school system and our society in general - our social and corporate worlds - reward people that have more extroverted tendencies. The louder people are, the more confident they appear and the more attention they tend to get.
This video promotes a variety and open other people into diffrent kind of behaviour.🙏
I’ve always been so quiet all my life that ppl literally thought I was mute LOL But one good example of ppl finding me intimating is back in high school, one of my classes was a free period and was held in the theater room/auditorium and we were able to sit where ever we wanted. I sat in the very first row nearest to the door with no one sitting next to or behind me. Then this group of maybe freshman girls (who I didn’t know since I was a senior) where looking around where to sit. One said “why don’t we sit there?” and I felt her point to the seats next to me, then one of goes (in a “whisper” lol) “No!” The other girl asked “why?”, then the other said, “Because she’s so serious, she’s like a robot😰” and that caught me so off guard, I sorta looked around and realized she was talking about me😅 i pretended not to hear her, then the other girl said “fine” and they sat far away from me😂 I thought that was so funny but I also thought, “man, is that why ppl don’t wanna talk to me???” I guess the ppl who did talk to me or wanted to be my friend were brave🤷😂
I have bipolar, depression, and anxiety and am also autistic but didn’t know til last year, I’m 23 now, maybe that’s why I didn’t show emotions. I do think I am a genuine introvert bc the traits all fit me. Some substitutes would ask if I was okay and asked if I needed go to the nurses office bc of my facial expressions LOL but in reality I was scared of everyone else so maybe being a reserved robot was my defense mechanism LMAO😂
As an introvert, I found this super informative and helpful to a degree. It gave me a lot to think about and some things to bring up with a professional. Liked and shared. Thank you for making this channel and its videos.
My social interactions are just an endless cycle of _"Why are you always alone? You should come with us"_ and _"Go away, you're making me anxious"_ 🤷
I've always wanted an answer for this lol. maybe if i wasn't so afraid of showing emotions I'll have a better time talking to others...
This was so helpful! My friends always say I scared them when they first met me, and I could never figure it out. Another W from psych2go
It sounds like even though your friends were intimidated by you at first, they really like you once they got to know you! What were some things that intimidated your friends when they first met you?
@@Psych2go my best guess, thanks to this video, is that I tended to have closed-off body language and seemed quiet. But that's still just a guess lol
I honestly like the intimidation being quiet gives. If people come up to you and engage you in conversation, they are worth your time.
I don’t agree every time some teacher says good morning or talks to me I always think why why what’s the point it talking to me
I find it annoying
I've also been told even by medical doctors that I'm depressed when I don't get out much. Hard for me anyway because I'm disabled. But i don't mind being at home. Alone. The quiet introvert. I will talk with my neighbors. And friends. But leave me alone with a book is when im happiest.
YASS KEEP POSTING UR ON A ROLL
This video basically proves that I'm more of an ambivert than an introvert, because when I'm around people who are even less sociable than me, I tend to feel awkward or uncomfortable sometimes. I also hate the pressure that comes with being around people who are more sociable than me... I guess over time now, I've come to notice the differences in terms of energy; some hold pure extroverted energy, and others hold pure introverted energy. At the end of the day however, I just want to be around people who get me and all the nuances of my personality, so that's why my friend circle is pretty small these days.
i’d only raise my hand and speak loudly in a crowd (in this case, my classes) if i get the itchy feeling to ask, clarify things or give insights. never thought that it causes a lot of people to feel interested in knowing me more, but would retreat as they feel intimidated from only ever hearing me speak my mind and never heart. despite being warm and welcoming when it comes to group activities and projects, a common fear i’d receive is the thought of me analyzing and negatively judging them. i don’t want to make others feel that way because i truly love seeing their creative sides. i hope there’ll be a new video soon on how to become a better introvert when it comes to these kind of situations! ❤
I just love to listen to your voice, it's calming
So...as an introvert the only introverts that are truly intimidating are those that are showing signs of being homicidal, stalking, or having unaddressed unhealthy issues that can lead down dark paths.
Apparently I have a resting bitch face, but I’m mostly just tired and not a morning person, when most of my coworkers and friends are 😅
i either have a rbf or i look sad (according to everyone) even though im mostly just deep in my thoughts,,, lol
@@voguexperimental that’s me. And when I was told that by a friend, I was kinda offended at first ngl even though they didn’t mean it in a rude way. But I’ve gotten over it, and it’s just a part of me now so people need to get tf over my resting btch face. U either accept all of me or accept none
This was nice. Because I find other people so intimidating that it’s nice to know that people could feel the same about me.
I gotta say the animation style in this is downright adorable. Kudos to the animator. 😊
These animations are so cuteeee
Thank you so much!! 🥺 glad you enjoyed them 💖💖
I have a request,can you make more videos(when you can)about amber-verts? You know the combination of extrovert and introvert,also I love your videos!
Thank you. This resonated deeply with me.
Introverts can often have few friends….Growing up, I witnessed a lot of bad things like domestic abuse, drug and gang activity, etc;, as well as good things, like church services, slumber parties etc;……I absorbed everything and everyone for my own personal analyzation, which led me to make decisions on who I chose to be around, and what situations and people to keep around me….I believe this kept me out of a lot of self-induced bad and stressful situations…..My two siblings on the other hand were the opposite, always hanging with several friends, wanting to be at the latest parties and events, and be “with the popular crowds”. This kept them around unsavory folks and situations….From elementary through high school, I had about 1-2 consistent friends, and now in my 40’s, probably the same number. These observations and behaviors for most true introverts, goes with any relationships, which is why we’re considered loyal in a lot of instances. Besides a lot of “intimate nothings”, I’ve had one “committed relationship” in my life…..I married her…😉….In 30yrs. I’ve only needed 2 substantial working relationships for my income……We typically know what we’re comfortable with, and don’t want to let others in our space to change it, especially if we feel the person or situation will bring us stress.
I'm an introvert, I like peace with myself and not being around people.. sometimes I just need a break from people.. or to just give myself time.. t relax and do the things I like..
This entire comment section is an introvert party let's go!!!!!! 😂🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉
It will be the greatest and the quietest party in the whole wide world! 🎉🎉
@@Psych2go CORRECT!
As an introvert, I feel like if I look at someone in the face then they would think like "oh what a creep" or "why is he always watching us?" So, I avoid eye contact with people and mostly look at the ground while walking or look down
That’s what I do, but never given it any thought. Thanks for the insight!
The mind tends to play tricks on you. And although some people may think that, I guarantee you some people will find you curious and may even think something similar to what you are thinking. Try looking at people and when you accidentally make eye contact continue looking around instead of staring down. It’s ok to be observant and curious, don’t be too shy. ❤
@@techslfink9722 no problem
@@jeilinr.6865 thanks
The irony is that people think you’re a creep/weird if you don’t make eye contact.
Thanks for the insight. 🙏🏽
Its very difficult for me to initiate a greeting towards my coworkers every shift. It’s rare when I do. I also find it difficult to look at people in the eyes. I’m always alone during my breaks, I dont like being around others.