How To Stop Being Needy And Insecure | 8 Tips For Men!
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- Äas pĆidĂĄn 12. 07. 2024
- How to stop being needy and insecure. You know that this is not a healthy habit and when you start doing this in a relationship is when things will get rocky in your relationship.
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When you are needy in a relationship this just pushes the woman away and she starts to lose respect for you. There is a difference between being affectionate and needy. Let's make that clear. Neediness comes from your attachment to another to validate your own self-worth.
Stop being needy by working on your self-confidence when your dating. Relationships bring out the things that we are hiding. Relationships are our biggest lessons and if you're wondering how to stop being clingy then start being aware of your actions when you are with her.
If you are putting this woman on a pedestal then this is why your asking yourself "why am I needy" and how to not be insecure. If you continue to put someone on a pedestal then you become insecure because you start to idolize another.
When you wonder how to not be insecure of how to stop feeling needy and insecure or how to stop being needy in a relationship then it's time that you focus on the things that you have going on in your life. Sometimes we forget about everything else we have going on in our lives and focus just on her. This is when you will start to go through a downhill spiral. You have to keep the focus on yourself.
At the end of the day if you not happy how do you think that you're going to make a woman happy. This is a big reason why you may.be asking yourself "how to not be insecure." In this video, I give you # POWERFUL TIPS! That will change your life.
I also give you tips on what to do if you are trying to get a relationship back because you being too needy or insecure.
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Comment below... what are you going to start implementing?
Apollonia Ponti Just a quick question. Youâre very knowledgeable at what you do but have you ever come across guys that really make you happy? What Iâm getting at is I hope Iâm wrong but women like you would be hard to please because of your being independence.
Great video! I will implement "tennis match texting" & just be less available.
Hi Apollonia, the book is from Janet Klosko and Aron Beck. From 1994?
Stop being 100% available
I LIKE U
1. Have a life outside her
2.dont look for outside validation...validate urself and believe it
How do you validate your self?
@@Annamelese Be a better version of yourself everyday. Learn new things everyday. Keep on upskilling yourself be it your professional life, your hobbies, etc. Remember, it's always YOU vs YOU.
Ya. But this seems like two tips. The video seems to go all over the place without actually referencing each tip.
It's so hard, I lose myself in her. I start to focus on her and forget who I am and can't concentrate on my goals and hobbies, I need to strike a healthy balance. When I do she gets nervous and thinks I am going to leave, so I become clingy and giving to avoid her feeling that way. I just don't know what to do, feel trapped
I have a life outside her its called smoking weed
Have to keep this short; a man should always focus on himself. This will attract any woman. Once a man loses his grind, or is off his purpose, her hypergamous nature will come out; Losing her. Always stay on your purpose.
Amen!
Very good point thank you
agreed! Focus our lives on who we are called to be and a girl will pick up on you live with purpose, passion and a belief system. The right girls will be attracted and can't lose because the unhealthy girls will leave. Watch Tim Tebow on any of his videos of a perfect example of this.
Word!
Right on point, you can't look after someone else if you can't even look after yourself. If your the man, your responsible. Which means you need to be on your game 24/7, 365 days a year, even on leap years and on Sundays.
"If youÂŽre unhappy, how you pretend to make her happy?" - I loved this
this girl is the best female dating coach i have seen on youtube
100% shes so clear i think im falling in love with her now haha
@@propman1823 chill fam
@@user-rh1rs9ph4l she a friggen woman dude. She's telling you how not to be a pussy. If you need her to teach you.....
She ain't a girln she's a pretty woman
Jhon John Jon Jon Doe Hands Down!!! đđŻđđđ
Is anyone else sick and tired of these games besides me? Do this but donât do that or donât do too much of this but make sure you do that. Basically we are damned if we do and damned if we donât.
Michael Hess im in the same boat as you and trust me i hated it!! what i did was save money i have 3 bank account with money in it just keep grinding make money!!!! just do this 1. self improvement 2. get money 3. enjoy life 4. woman
Michael Hess shut the fuck up and stop nagging and do!
do do do what you want
No matter what you do youâll never Please them that simple
No. We are damned if we do. Women don't love men like we love them. We better learn that and deal with it.
Emotionally dependable on someone else is a big mistake
are you kidding me. Go read the book Atached by Amir Levine. Society incorrectly defines emotional dependance and needines when it comes to relationships. You absolutely must be needy and vulnerable and allow your partner to reciprocate and reassure you.
âan innate emotional attachment need for survival that directly benefits one to have a felt sense of emotional safety and security that lends toward confidence and trust to connect deeply with self and oneâs world.â She noted that itâs a completely human need to desire, long for and seek out deep emotional connections, comfort and reassurance from our romantic partners.
It is simple, focus on your dreams and growth, stop thinking about women all the time, they love successfull men.
They love men that can love, understand, and connect with them on every level. Success doesn't matter, life is too short for success to matter..
@@Psyfonify theyâre both important
@@Psyfonify life is too short to die unsuccessful
@@mike105ps5 true
Itâs not about âallâ women, itâs about â1â woman
I donât think I came off as needy. I just wanted to talk đ
Same heređ
Please I beg you don't do that. I just broke up with my boyfriend because he would talk my ears off about himself while I could barely say one word.
This is absolutely amazing. I'm in a new relationship that is everything I've ever dreamed of. She hasn't said anything yet but I feel myself being needy. And I know I am. If I dont get a text back in a decent time..the anxiety starts and just downward spirals. Then I get the text and there..everything is okay. And repeat. It's so hard to get out of this pattern. Its so damaging and destructive to myself.
Feeling exactly the same. Any updates?
Iâve been there & itâs nerve wracking to say the least, but Iâm getting there. Slowing down & doing what AP said, learn, love and grow myself to the point that if she doesnât respond well, I can move on. I just had an experience with a beautiful lady. After 3 conversations, it was over. Instead of me, holding on and begging like a dog, I just let it go and kept it movin. It was sorta hard, but you gotta be a man, put the car in drive and GO!!
So am i
dude having the same issue here
Treat her like the trash the video wants you to treat them like. That's the only thing you can do. You're not allowed to care about them.
As Jay Shetty said,
" Many will Travel The World with You but Very Few will Travel Challenges with You "
Same goes with
" Many will want you but few will Invest in you " know the difference between being a Priority and an Option.
" A KING never begs someone who leaves his THRONE "
Girl you are spot on. I woke up a year ago have been doing self work all day every day ever since. This video is uplifting and exactly what men need to hear. Subscribe! Grateful for your energy!
You are so right. I've been focusing on myself for years.I do everything by myself (movies, cook, travel, sleep,& exercise), realizing I have no one to yell at me, control me, not appreciate me, cheat on me, lie to me, spend my hard earned $$, ridicule me, shame me, & use me. There's absolutely no benefit of having a woman in my life now.Thank you.
It all goes back to you working on yourself and pursuing your purpose, goals and dreams. Powerful
Wow you knocked me across the face with the 'you don't have your own life ' .. damn necessary pain. Thx
This really saved my life... i appreciate all your videos from bottom of my heart
I absolutely love this video. Appollonia, you're amazing! Its like dont focus on her, focus on you, so eventually you will find someone with the same focus
At the end of the day... Be yourself be confident,bold and focus on your goals in life and she will follow... Just like a woman want a man to prove himself. Vice versa for a woman to prove herself... Take your time get to know her in and out.. Not all women think the same...
Yes!
Facts
@@ApolloniaPontiAt some point are you going to give the name of the person who wrote the book?
If no one ever told you this before, let me be the first and say I'm so very happy you're on CZcams helping people . You've improved my life in so many ways and I'm very grateful. Keep up the great work đ
Hello Keneil,
Thank you so much for this comment. These comments motivate me to continue. I'm grateful for you!
Best,
Apollonia
I just love your videos. Youâre so professional. By far the best advice Iâve found on CZcams on the issues of relationships. Thank you Apollonia! đ
'Put yourself on a pedestal' LOVE THIS, this should be to any area in life, and love how much sense you talk. Totally makes sense the point about wanting us to have a life, if a man is dependant on a woman to be happy doesn't show a good sense of security in him. Focus on you first. Amazing content as usual Apollonia.
I will start doing this now it sounds impressive
For sure
I really like your videos and enjoy hearing from a womanâs perspective. I have tendency to a little obsessive and have to keep these things in mind.
This video really hit in every way possible. I just figured out I had this issue. Thank you so much for this as I believe it helps on my journey of self love. I lost an amazing girl because I became needy in a relationship. This advice is so solid. I am working on loving myself and seeking to give myself what I once felt I needed from a partner.
An absolute gem of a video. Most of what you said makes total sense! The only thing is that these mind games, I feel are unnecessary. Not that you are wrong, Ms Ponti, people do this and expect this. In a good relationship is one wherein one does not resort to too much mind games and this mental-tennis-match that you speak of.
Hello Apollonia! I never write comments but I really wanted to thank you for this video. I felt like my life went dark when my gf of 2 years ended things, and after this video it gave me the confidence to move forward in life. I still love her a lot but I now had it clicked in my head that self confidence is important and I noticed where I was failing. I recently got into religion with a full heart and now my life is better I find myself a lot happier. I thank you for pushing this knowledge and information into my thick skull. I just pray things get better with time and that I can approach my ex with a better mindset and overall improved person. Thanks so much!!!
This is a really educating insight. Thank you.
I actually realized that if we don't keep checking ourselves we will discover that we may end up creating rooms for insecurity and being needy
Defiantly bro
Just found your channel! Youâre videos honestly changed my whole life for the better. Keep the content coming!
Apollonia, thank you from the bottom of my heart for recommending to me the book, "Reinventing your Life." I did the questionnaire and found that I suffer from 10 of 11 of those Lifetraps. And I'm working on dealing with them all. For the longest, I spent my life counterattacking as a way of coping. Now, I'm not carrying around these lifetraps but rather emptying my life of them. I'd hug you if I could, if you were in front of me, if for anything, for opening up my eyes by referring me to that book. Thanks and God Bless you.
I needed this todayâŠthank you. I did a self assessment of nyself and realized that I need to chill.
Get back in the gymâŠreaching out to my friendsâŠdoing things I need/want to do to improve myself and make myself more attractive.
Dawg Iâve watched 3 of these since being on my break and fellas I feel like itâs really helpful.Like she hits so many thoughts that run through your head itâs crazy.
true i'm going through this now the girl says she needs space but i keep texting her cause she said she doesn't want me out of her life and that she misses me well then afcource i have hope so me texting her obviously means i'm still here
Freedom is key, and don't objectify woman, you don't own them. You need to be comfortable being alone before you can have a relationship with someone. Your woman should be your support, your wing-woman, she gets you back on track for those times when you stumble. In return you should be her protector, her rock, and most of all assertive but not controlling, and together you develop a strong bond and grow together, love will come.
Great advice by the way :-)
Thank you Apollonia for your tips. I think more important that seeking more relationships for me is to learn to cultivate a better relationship with myself and get focused more on my goals to become more regulated, organized and balanced in my personal life. A male friend told me once that I came across as needy and that got me thinking.
I can't put into words how much this has helped me. Thank you so much!
This is all really useful stuff, those of you that consistently come off needy, try to internalize all of this advice. A big point is always focus on YOU in at least one way that doesn't have to do with her đ
Yes!
Very true about idolizing a person, i learned all about that when I was going through my divorce,, tu eres Bella, thank you
I am impressed on how you integrate all those principals together to make us understand.
very helpful... this is exactly the situation I'm in right now... thank u soooo much
Thanks for the video Apollonia, some helpful tips there.
This video hit me at just the right time that this is really what im like and it hits home. This really helped a lot! My biggest issue would be self talk and being extremely insecure about being short (im 5â5) and ugly. Im going to take that talk out of me and just do my thing and see what comes along and just focus on myself. Love this đ
Fact
Thank you so much for this video â„ïž... This is much needed for me right now. I'm just gonna focus on myself, my health, my career and prioritise myselfđȘđŒ
Believe me this video is very helpful she's talking 100% right and it happened to me so if u follow her instructions u will feel free emotionally
After watching 5 of your videos, I'm astounded at the information you share from the female's perspective. Whether we notice the details or not, almost all details are relative to one another when searching for purpose in life and sharing their life/time that (should have intentions to) compliment one another's life overall. Keep up your awesome work, extremely educational guidance that men (imo people in general) should use to benefit themselves.
I am glad that my videos are helping my viewers. Thank you for your support!
Most men do start off secure in a relationship. Itâs over time that heâs told how to treat his lady, he then tends to her every need and then itâs over because heâs too needy đ€«
Or she then goes off on an affair because you become boring and unchallenging to her. Iâm amidst of that BS at this moment!
Apollonia, I appreciate all your dedication and creativity to better the lives of men for women. Omg! I wish you nothing but the best in life âđœ
Itâs amazing every time I watch one of your videos like this I think about how I was able to increase the attraction of my girl by doing these things before Iâd even seen these videos... Needless to say sheâs all over me now, this stuff works
I've officially closed my heart. I know what I want and I want to give it but at this point to hell with it.
Thank you so much for this video. I am regretfully guilty of a lot of these bad traits. Itâs so true that itâs hell to go through. Unfortunately I have always felt guilty for the hobbies and things Iâve done outside of my marriage. I felt like I was abandoning my kids and wife. My wife has told me she needs space and Iâm trying to respect that. But my confidence is low and Iâm having bad anxiety. Iâm trying to take it minute by minute but itâs difficult.
This video really hits home for me been going through this recently. Thanks for the help!
You're like a sister I never had thank you for valued information
wow, I don't even know where to start from to thank u for what you are doing for but I appreciate every message thank u đđ
Youâve helped me so much. I canât thank you enough!
Working on myself getting a better job. Working out. Being proud of yourself for hitting your goals .
Wow ! You are spot on with your advice Apollonia. Keep up the good work. You are truly making a difference in our lives and our relationships. đșđș
Thank you!
I can relate. Did this in the first serious relationship I've had. Thought it was a good thing because usually I didn't give a damn and would focus on my own life. I wished I saw this way way earlier before I basically worshipped her .
I agree with this on the whole but there's another layer to interacting with women you are interested in.
I would say...pressure. With friends there's no expectation, no desire, no motivation to take a risk and flirt, seduce, or ask out on a date- you can simply be yourself and do essentially nothing.
Relationships require work, even from step one. Theres an effort, a tension, a movement- you have to do something to make something happen. That's where the pressure can come from; you have to stick your neck out.
That is a fact
So glad I stumbled on this channel. I've had confidence and low self esteem issues while growing up. I used to be painfully shy and couldn't even ask a girl for the time. But over the years I saw a therapist, read books on confidence and found the seduction community.
Thing is the issue of neediness comes up from time to time. Seeing this cute girl and there have been times when I didn't text her for weeks and I was ok with this as I was actively dating and meeting other girls but recently this girl had blocked me on Facebook and WhatsApp. There was no warning and it freaked me out to the point I ended up calling her and messaging loads then decided to create a temporary Facebook account to try to get in touch with her. Eventually after 4 days she replied saying her fb had been hacked and her phone had problems too.
But the problem is its made me more needy where I've been texting her more and asking her to call me.
I think I will try not to contact her for a couple of weeks. Just need to stop looking at her Facebook and checking her phone when she comes online.
VERY helpful. Provided great info, conveyed it efficiently & offered actionable, real world advice to boot.
THANK YOU
Thank you. I've always wanted to hear from a woman's point of view.
There are so many videos for women becoming âtoo clingyâ or âfalling too soonâ or âemotionally attaching too soonâ or âgiving too muchâ or âshowing too much attention and why men pull awayâ or ETC...bottom line is this THAT GO FOR BOTH MEN AND WOMEN: GO INTO A RELATIONSHIP WHEN YOU KNOW YOU ARE HEALED - a lot of people jump into wanting commitment so fast after a bad heartbreak and are unhealthy and in turn sabotages possibilities with a new relationship because of wanting to hold on to an âideaâ of what the ideal relationship would be for them. Give so much because of that desperation to be loved or fear to be alone or people who donât even know what itâs like to be alone even! Thatâs not healthy. So then comes all the game playing and oh I showed too much, Iâll pull away now or shoot, did they lose interest? Desperation is UNATTRACTIVE. I had a guy on the first date asking me my complete schedule to accommodate his to match mine, asking me what I want (a relationship right now?) - the first date. Noooo. Things need time to build but you must be in your own too and doing you and living your life and being an added plus and she be an added plus to your already amazing life alone. Thatâs my take on watching both sides.
Thank you for your post. Very helpful.
I completely agree with every single words you said the entire video. This helps a lot!
4:40 Shiit, this spoke to me so effing hard.. You're the best.. đ
Apollonia, that is excellent advice, well done!
Thank you!
Just be yourself in front of others and focus on being the best version of you... I think that works best
Thank you for your comment:)
Apollonia, thank you so much for all your great advice! You're the best dating coach I've ever heard!
Hi Apollonia! I'm new to your channel and I love it. Very hands on and giving us men the knowhow to develop the tools we need and want to enjoy more women in general and certainly.., that special one that so frequently eludes us!! Again thanks LVY!!!
Your the sister that I never had .Your advice is real and very valuable thank youâș
My ex cheating on me made me extremely insecure. Being cheated on makes you feel like the smallest man on the planet. So with my current girl, I feel extremely insecure sometimes, and it all stems from my ex. It is so hard to get past that and get rid of that flaw.
I know what your going through. Exact thing happened to me. We were married for 12 years and together for 19. Very hard but you and I both cannot blame the new girl as what your ex did. I remarried and my now wife says to not blame me for your past ex actions. She is right and just have to trust her. There are loyal women out there. Baby steps bro.
I watched a few videos on this topic before I finally got to this one which in my opinion is the most helpful. Thanks for the tips. Subscribed!
When you look back at your own actions when it comes down to this problem...It just make you want to vomit on yourself! She gave me the confidence in myself to fuck off my own insercurities...Boys dont you dare fucking pity yourself! Raise that head up high and accept the lessons you were taught! And this girl is seriously talking the truth! Being in your alone time is seriously loving yourself! DO NOT SELF SABOTAGE THE NEXT RELATIONSHIP WITH THE SAME THINGS YOU DID BEFORE!! THANK YOU.
PS: Never use the phrase :
"I apologize for being needy"
Can you explain why?
You don't have to explain everything to a woman.
You can keep it to yourself and change for the better
I wish I knew that
Don't become an actor. Take advise, but don't change. Stay away from attractive women. Too much competition. Have sex with them, but don't take them serious. Fall in Love with a women's heart. Why do you think most promiscuous women are attractive. Most men learn you can't love them, they have too many options.
Good call, apologizing for something like that just more attention to what makes u undesirable. Recognize your mistake and try to change, adapt and move forward. Also constantly apologizing for something like that is a red flag that you will probably not learn from your mistakes and rely on apologizing for everything.
I truly appreciate your channel and insights. Blessings
This Chanel is really helpful a lot I have a lot of uncertainty about my relationship at this point and this content makes me go through the though emotions easier
But I have to admit, what you said on this vidoe is very true, I have to thank you
Thank you Louis!
You hit the NAIL on the HEAD! BRAVO SIS!
she did not at all. she goes against everything relationships should be. Attachment, vulnerability, needines and allow your partner to reciprocate and reassure that attachment style. She puts needines in one general basket of male behaviour .
âan innate emotional attachment need for survival that directly benefits one to have a felt sense of emotional safety and security that lends toward confidence and trust to connect deeply with self and oneâs world.â She noted that itâs a completely human need to desire, long for and seek out deep emotional connections, comfort and reassurance from our romantic partners.
Thank you Apollonia đYou have enlightened me so much in the last month.
Thank you! This puts a lot of things into perspective.
Date yourself best thing I heard in my life
Haha I love that, we neglect ourselves so often.
Great tips for men! I hope they all watch this!
Thank you Mrs Ponti. This video is Amazing
Thank you for the video. Itâs both sobering and reassuring. Itâs also spot on! I see I have some things to work on. This also helped me to see that I have more good things going on than I gave myself credit for. I can build off of that.
Hi Paul,
Thank you for your comment! I am so glad that my videos are being helpful.
Best,
Apollonia
Wow this was very powerful
It will be 45 days the day after Valentine's day for me. I've been hitting the gym so hard and its been therapy for me. I have changed so much emotionally physically and mentally. Im sending her money I owe her and letting her know I sent it wish her well and thats it. 2 weeks after that we have the same friend group that always goes out and hangs out as a group. I plan on being completely confident and have a new energy around me. She has not reached out at all because once she has her walls up she keeps them up. Once she sees the new me I will become the prize and I will take my time and keep doing me.
good luck
So what happened mate, energy still there?
03:55 the answer is YES. this is so mee..
Im grateful finally found your video.
Thank you so much for this Apollonia!
Profound... Love the part u say..." Guys should focus on their goals" brings out confidence hence vision is a sure thing... Thanks Pontiđ€đ.. you are blessed.
Thank you Frank! :)
This is great, almost felt like a TED Talk. Come to Houston!
Thanks so much! I will come to Houston soon. :)
Needed to see this, it confirms what I been feeling inside, I never acted on that feeling because I didn't want to seems as if I didn't care or be an asshole. But I gotta put me 1st so that I can be all we need in our relationship
She is amazing this video helped me a lot! That's what I exactly needed! I just started love myself more than anyone now! And everything is settled
I think the hardest thing for me is to stop apologizing or saying sorry all the time for stuff.
Came across too needy, messaged her too much. ovverwhelmed her. Gonna focus on me from now on, more martial arts, more travel. Make my life more interesting. Instead of saying i'll do it, i'll actually do it.
DualNexus any updates?
Amen to the last line . Instead of saying Iâll do it , Iâll actually do it
Watching your videos heals me.
Thank you for this. This is what I needed to hear.
You are welcome!
People feel insecure the most when they're in love truly with someone and can't lose them
Even if someone else approaches why would they leave the person for whom they were insecure about in the first place
Damn I really am gonna die alone
Start fucking up online, analyse every interraction as deeply as possible. You will learn, trust me.
after watching this video how could u say this what else she forgot to to cover
Last time I checked coffins were only made for one person.
XD
lmao
Thank for this
My woman has been taking me for granted just bcos I'm 100% available for her, I provides all her needs, I gave her all attention she need but now I'm feeling ignored from her.
I just have to concrete my heart and be strong because isn't easy.
I pray she realize her ingrate fault before it too late.
Thanks alot... i have seen many videos on this topic... but this is exactly what i wanted..
Itâs pure reality you hit the nail on itâs head,I went through this phase and I paid for it with extreme emotional pain. Thanks again
Honestly very relatable..
So I have Aspergers and part of the problem I have with the coming off with too needy is because I enjoy the positive aspect of having a woman of my life my mind will hone in wanting to enjoy the positive aspect of that more and more. So when I enjoy something or someone new my mind constantly stimulates itself to want that function and that enjoyment. After sometime of knowing I enjoy something it calms down. So my problem Iâm having is stopping that overstimulation in the initial phase. Iâve been hurt a lot in past relationships, and so when I put myself out there it really is hard. Now rejection Iâm fine with, it happens whatever I move on. Itâs the uncertainty of things that just gets me the uncertainty causes my mind to overstimulate.
That concluding comment from 10:58 summed it all up... Nice one đđŒ
You are amazing Apollonia!