7 Ways British and American Weddings Are Very Different
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- čas přidán 19. 06. 2024
- Under ordinary circumstances, we would now be right at the start of wedding season! Nevertheless, dust off your hats and have your speeches at the ready, as we raise a glass-and magnifying glass-to seven ways British and American weddings are very different.
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My mom and dad are a British/American couple. They got married the old fashioned way . . . 6 months pregnant
That is what used to be called a 'shotgun wedding'!
@@trickygoose2 - Only if the groom is rather hesitant to "own up" to his responsibility! And sometimes it might also be the bride. But - it's only when the father-in-law feels like he must offer extreme "encouragement" to the couple in the form of lead shot to put on those "bands of gold" in front of the preacher!
Hey at least you are not a bastard in God’s eyes. (I am).
Perhaps there is something in what you say. It's been estimated that 1/3rd of marriages in America during the revolutionary period were with an already pregnant bridge. I'm an American but we did have a British school principal. During one particularly testy parent-teacher meeting one of the mothers said "You're British. You aren't happy unless the battleship is sinking." which caused the whole room to break out laughing. I'm not sure what that meant unless it was driving at the idea that British are perceived to be dour. Anyway, this principal was a bit of an uptight stuffed shirt.
Same. Except they got into a crash on the way to the registry office and the show must go one 🙄
To be fair in an American wedding no one is looking at the groom when the bride is coming down the aisle. He could be doing yoga up there whilst reciting the Greek alphabet and no one would be the wiser.
@@AshleyNicole-ct7gh True. Although the show at my wedding was my best man. He was a blubbering mess up there.
@@AshleyNicole-ct7gh I do too!! Especially,since the groom was my youngest son.. I like to see their reaction
I prefer to look at the groom personally. The look on his face... melts me every time
Nah, ever since the videos of grooms seeing their brides coming down the isle let loose, I look at both every time. A bunch of other folks do too.
@@laurencooper654 same!
Australia here, and my husband watched me as I walked down the aisle. He was wearing makeup to cover an eye condition we hadn't managed to get rid of by the wedding day, so my favourite memory from the day was seeing the love of my life so overcome that his makeup was running, not badly but it was obvious close up. There's a few pictures of me touching his face lovingly throughout the ceremony, but I'm actually discretely wiping his tears away and trying not to laugh because I thought I would be the one crying. One year this month.
That’s beautiful. I teared up reading your story. Thank you for sharing. ❤️
Aw...that’s sweet. Congratulations!
BOOOO-just kidding
There's a sucker born every minute.
@@codiefitz3876😅
In the UK I’ve only ever known the Two Tiered wedding the other way around. Where you’re either invited to both the ceremony and the reception or just the evening reception.
That's exactly what I thought. I have attended numerous weddings in the UK, and the invitation is either for the whole lot, or just the Evening 'do'. Are you supposed to just say to your old Uncles, Aunt and Granny 'That's it, go home now you lot, you're not invited to this bit.'?
Same here in the U.S. It is not uncommon to have the "small intimate" wedding then a big reception.
Luke Doherty yes agree. It the expense of the sit down reception that keeps the numbers down, so friends work colleagues, etc are invited to the evening do usually with a buffet and a cash bar.
American here. I was going to say the same. Many of my friends chose to have a small wedding and a large reception. Some because they wanted a more intimate ceremony and/or the church was small. Others because they had a destination wedding. I personally would choose an intimate ceremony with a large reception. Besides, the ceremony is the boring part - your distant friends would rather attend the reception anyway; they couldn't care less about the ceremony.
Same and I'm from the u.s Americans normally do it just like you've described
I've been to a few weddings where the wedding ceremony and the reception are held at the same place to cut costs.
That's what most people do in Australia too. Unless you're particularly religious, you just have the whole thing at a wedding venue
That's pretty normal.
@Mary Grace Bitting where are you from that not getting married in a church is weird. American's have been getting married in all different places that aren't churches. Like getting married outdoors.. sooo common!
@Mary Grace Bitting yeah I'm in North Carolina. People are just as religious. But venue wedding ceremonies are still extremely common. Outdoor weddings. Beach weddings. All of it. A lot of people don't want to have to make the guest move from location to location so they do it a venues made for weddings. Of course church weddings are just as common too.
@Mary Grace Bitting I got married in NJ 38 years ago at a wedding venue. We're not religious at all so it worked well for us. The ceremony was in a lovely garden at the venue with the reception indoors.
And in Colorado, where I live. People just get married in the woods, and the guests sit on tree stumps. You think I’m kidding but I’m not.
Wow, I never knew. Sounds unique and lovely to get married surrounded by nature's beauty.
My uncle's first wedding was at the bride's family pig farm. We sat on hay bails and the reception was in a barn they had just finished building.
I was maid of honor at a wedding like that in Colorado - we changed out of mud safe shoes in pretty sandals at the wedding location (which was slightly nicer - it had logs set up like pews & an alter in a comparatively flat clearing - but I have been to far more inside a church building weddings in Colorado. 😆
My stepdad wore a tuxedo, a top hat with a feather stuck in it when he married my mom. He wanted the world to know that it was a feather in his cap to win my mom. They have been married for about 39 years.
That’s so sweet.
Hopefully no offense, but am I only one that finds that exceedingly creepy and objectifying apposed to romantic? It almost feels like having an actual trophy made for your shelf to show off that you "won" your trophy wife or something, or slightly less bad (somehow) like making your vows be: "now I can check this one off my list, go me! My next achievement I'm aiming for is owning a Lamborghini. If anyone has one for sale please come talk to me at the after party!"
That is adorably cute and funny
Kioku yes, you are the only one who feels that way.
Cool, mate.
As a very British Brit, my wedding ethos was “who do we like enough to feed twice”. Those who made the cut came to the whole day, the rest just came to the party. And the bridesmaids traditionally come in last so they can carry the train of the wedding dress.
Do non-royals even do long trains anymore?
Wait, feed twice? Here in Australia we have the ceremony and the reception, you only get fed at the reception, but if you're invited to the wedding it means you're invited to the reception for the most part, unless the couple has like a small private ceremony with only a handful of people, then a big reception with every man and his dog.
@@rivertam7827 She may have been talking about the rehearsal dinner and then the reception the following day (usually).
@@rivertam7827 In britain we have a wedding breakfast which is the big sit down meal after the ceremony with all the speeches etc. Which is normally mid afternoon then in the evening we have the evening do where there tends to be some sort of buffet and is when people who aren't invited to the actual wedding arrive
@@fancybrooks3156 we don't have a rehearsal dinner in the UK. The only time you ever tend to have a rehearsal is if you're married at church. If you have a non religious ceremony there's no rehershal at all.
I admit this is a law rather than a custom, but Scottish weddings can be annulled if I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles) and Baker Street aren't played at the reception.
That made me laugh, and yet I believe you :)
valid
I’m a Texan married to a Scot and I can confirm.
Also if this night doesn’t end with Loch Lomond and a groomsman being dropped on the floor, it didn’t happen.
Derpimus Maximus 500 miles is one of my favorites. One day I’m going to get a speeding ticket whilst driving to that! 🤣
I'm Brazilian, and cutting costs in the wedding ceremony is a new concept here. Usually people don't want to offend anyone so they invite every person they know and just sink in debt for their whole married lives.
After having spent a lot on 3 bridesmaids dresses for myself (and other expenses) in order to be in friends' weddings, I decided to pay for the dresses for my own bridesmaids. I also paid for their lodging and even split the cost of airfare for my maid of honor to come from Japan. And I paid for the cost of the "bacheolorette party" (very tame). I was a kind bride because I think a bride shouldn't expect her friends to pay a lot in order to be in her wedding. I know people who have to say no to being in a wedding because of the high price. That's so wrong. We have it backwards in the US. If you invite someone to be your bridesmaid or.groomsman, it's an INVITATION and they are probably paying a lot to fly to join you. So dont also make them pay for everything else too!. Dont get me started on this topic. Sounds like the Brits have it right on this one.
I sewed my bridesmaid dresses and let them pick the shared pattern and fabric.
I agree, I’ve only been in one friends wedding so far, but I said never again. It was extra costly for me since I always go above. So I covered a lot of costs myself (I wasn’t even a maid of honor).All that PLUS wedding gifts can put you into quite some debt! It’s just one night, and it wasn’t even my wedding!
My aunt paid for our dresses, and mine was £100. I treasured it so much becuase I would never been able orrferd such a beautiful dress and all the bridesmaids had slightly different, but harmonious, looking dresses. Very generous!!!
@@heathercontois4501 - That's a very kind, and a financially appropo method of sharing the costs!! Good on ya!
We did a very similar thing with our wedding 44 years ago (the end of this month!) I almost made my own gown - I had the pattern bought and was working on picking out the fabrics, but one weekend afternoon when walking through the mall, toward the fabric store, I happened to turn a corner, and walked straight towards a dress shop window, to find THE dress I discovered I really wanted, staring me right in the face, at half the price!! It is (I still have it) a Jessica McLintock "Gunne Sax" design, which was an extremely popular brand at the time. (Just Google the name, if you want to get an idea of the styles I mean. They are real collectables these days!) Anyway, it was totally white, instead of a print, which was rather rare, and it was part of the Prom designs that had been sold like the proverbial hotcakes two months prior, and then marked down for final sale for the summer. It's all a lightweight cotton, with lace overlays, a corset laced bodice, Queen Anne neckline, floor length, and with Leg-o-mutton sleeves. Perfect for a garden wedding. They had three left, in the two sizes that would actually fit me best - very rare for me! I tried them on and picked the one which fit me best in length. The smaller size fit me perfectly except the length - but it was a little too short. The next size up was just a little bit too loose, but the length was perfect. I got it immediately and took it home!
For my two attendants, I got them over to my house, and showed them what I had in mind. The original idea was to have the girls make their own gowns, since both could sew, and one of them was a cousin, and her mother, my aunt, could also sew, so could help if need be.
I showed them the pattern I had in mind, which they both liked a lot. We decided to go shopping that same afternoon to the fabric shops, and see what we could find. We found what we all liked at the first shop, and I bought the patterns, fabrics, and all the notions - thread, zippers, seam binding, etc. - needed to sew them. A couple of weeks later, I found the perfect hats to go with them at J. C. Penneys, and bought them as well. They would supply their own shoes, and transportation. One lived a couple of hours away, in the next State south of me. But my aunt and uncle provided my cousin's transportation, as she didn't drive alone that far away, or have her own car.
The dresses came out beautifully, since each was made to fit the one wearing it. My cousin ended up being a bridesmaid the next summer in her older brother's wedding, and the dress and hat she wore was about 99% identical to the one she wore in mine! In fact, the attendants - there were 6 in all plus a Flower Girl - wore identical hats and dresses to mine, in almost identical fabric print, but in a slew of rainbow colors! Pastel Pink, pale "Orange Sherbet," pastel yellow, light green, sky blue, pale lavender, and I don't remember the Flower Girl's dress color - I think she got to pick from all of them, and happened to like the Maid of Honor's dress color - probably pink. But it was the exact same design and fabric print as the older attendants dresses. My cousin even wore the same COLOR she wore in mine! I thought for a minute it WAS the same dress, but she showed me both dresses on hangers, and it was just a smidgen different.
"The Bride" happened to be "the girl next door" so she had ample opportunity to see what we had picked out! I think she liked mine SO MUCH that she just had them copied! (All her dresses were made by a local seamstress, and paid for by her parents.) They were much too alike to be accidental. Didn't bother me though - you know what they say - "Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery!"
Here in the US it’s not common for the bride to pay for her Bridesmaid’s dresses however I’m paying for their Dresses, accessories and to have their Makeup and hair done. I’ve also asked not to have a shower but will be able to ( if it can be done as planned) I will give them their Bridesmaid’s lunch. I think it’s rude to ask people to be in your wedding then require them to go to great expense. No.
You missed out that in America the Bride will normally walk down the aisle with her father (or whoever is giving her away) on her right arm, whereas in Britain it is typical for the Bride to be walked down the aisle by her father on her left arm, handing her off to the Groom on her right.
My own father incidentally broke all protocol when he married my mother - she got half way down the aisle when he walked up to get her. Mind you it was a wedding that went a bit wonky from the beginning. Mum accidentally died her hands purple when she put a colour rinse through her hair, her youngest brother accidentally stepped on her dress and tore it before the wedding even began, her 2 youngest brothers had a full on punch up in the toilets and had to be separated by her new father-in-law, the brewery decided to go on strike so there was limited alcohol at their wedding reception, for which at least all guests were in attendance, which cannot be said of the wedding itself; my Dad's family from London got lost on the way to the church in Mum's home town in Birmingham, went to the wrong church just before the wedding was due to start, snuck in late and sat down at what was actually the wrong wedding and didnt realise it was the wrong wedding until the bride walked down the aisle and they realised it wasnt my Mum, so they had to get up and sneak out again (can you imagine a load of the congregation suddenly vacating the church as you are just finishing the wedding march?). My Dad had driven up with his parents and I believe one of his aunts (they were also late - my Dad had to stop en-route to get changed in a Pub and go straight to the church) and they were the only ones present on his side of the family for the ceremony. The rest of the family finally arrived literally as they were all leaving the church, having missed the wedding completely. I should add that this included my Dad's cousin, who was due to be Best Man. My oldest Uncle had to step in as Best Man at the last minute. Thank goodness my Dad had kept the wedding ring with him.
This was thrilling! Thanks for posting this comment!
Hysterical story. Probably not so funny at the time.
That's made me laugh throughout and left me with a smile on my face! Well told, and well shared! ☺️😊😂
OH MY GOODNESS well if they make it through the wedding they probably could make it through anything
My question after laughing and feeling it in my stomach, for oush for a wedding day, so are they still married, and how did your mom take all this, both then and now years later?
At African American weddings women do wear hats. It is considered a woman's crown in many black religious spaces.
I was always told it’s bc you’re to cover your head in a house of God, maybe it’s both?
@Merlene TaylorYes, that's true. When I see the old pictures of my ancestors they always wear their best robe and a hat for the church service. (I live on the European mainland.) I think that was a sign of respect. Today is different, people wear their best wardrobe for the nightlife and very few go to church.
That sounds similar to the Catholic chapel veil worn by those who follow that tradition. Cool.
That sounds similar to the Catholic chapel veil worn by those who follow that tradition. Cool.
TRUE, the Mother's Board does NOT play, Sunday's best has a very historic and cultural importance
I "virtually attended" my Scottish friend's wedding (held in the UK) during the pandemic, and noticed one other big difference you did not mention: signing the registry. American weddings come with legal paperwork (notably the marriage license) but that's dealt with privately, not as part of the ceremony. I found it interesting that my friend and his bride signed the registry in front of everyone.
I was married in London (I'm American - groom was British). We were both starting a second marriage so wanted to wedding to be informal and not too expensive so we only did the cival marriage part at the registriars office.WE signed the book and about 3 sentences were said and it was over - off to the pub.
Oh yes, this was a surprise to me at my wedding. Had to use a fountain pen which I had never in my life used before.
It depends. I perform weddings in SC and sometimes the signing of the paperwork is part of the ceremony - it depends on what the couple want.
My husband who is from Scotland and I (American) chose to have a civil wedding around the end of the pandemic at our local county clerk building. This was my second marriage and his first so we wanted something really simple with no frills and social distancing. Fortunately, the county was offering "Walk up" civil ceremonies , which were using an outside kiosk building normally used for food service, to fill out and sign the marriage license on the spot and then perform the marriage in a pretty outside arbor a couple feet away. The location was the San Diego waterfront, so we had some awesome scenery as the backdrop to our photos. It was the most easiest stress free wedding I ever had. And we had like two friends attend for photos and our daughter was the ring bearer/ junior bridesmaid.
As an American with a Brit husband your comments always bring a laugh! The first time I went to a wedding in the UK I was stunned when the excitement culminated with signing papers. Like a car loan or mortgage app, the moment of the John Hancock (oh, sorry about that reference!) is something we sat and watched. Also - wedding cake - what?? That's a whole thing as you know. Anyway - thank you - love your channel.
Never heard of Brits leaving after the meal. The invite is either all day or you are invited to the evening reception.
At our wedding, the minister (who had never performed a wedding before) got a little confused. He asked "who gives this man to be married to this woman." It caught my fatherr in law a little off guard.
That's funny!
About time men earned what it's like to be a possession!
I have heard that said.
@@anniespencer7879 As a man I agree, part of the reason I will not marry again. I may consider a civil partnership.
The minister who married us prefers "who blesses this marriage?" followed by the parents jointly responding.
Two other things about British weddings: The bridesmaids come after the bride because they're actually serving as maids: Carrying her train, arranging it when she gets to the altar, etc. The other difference is that lull in the proceedings when the couple and the vicar retire to the vestry to sign the register. You ain't married if you ain't signed the register!
I think in America we just sign the marriage license after the ceremony (and the maid of honor and best man have to sign it too, or whoever you're using as witnesses if you don't have a maid of honor or best man).
That happened at the first Royal Wedding I watched on TV in the States. I think it was Prince Charles and Princess Diana. They got to that part, and I had been up since the VERY early hours of the morning since there's like a 5 or 6 hour time difference, and I didnt want to miss ANYTHING!!
I was nursing my 2 month old son, and feeding breakfast to my 2 year old daughter, and nibbling on my own toast and juice. They began to leave the altar, and walk around to the place where they did the signing of the register, and not knowing what was going on at that moment, I suddenly spit out my juice, dribbled it all over my son's head when he startled, and started to cry, and I was like, "Wait!! Where are they going? They can't be done now!!" It was a very uncoordinated moment for all of us! I had to quickly wipe up sticky OJ off his head, and get him settled down again, clean up my "chest," get boy child back to HIS breakfast, settle my daughter back down in her high chair to her breakfast before she started to cry just to join in with her brother, and pick up my jelly toast off the table top where I accidentally dropped it! In a few minutes the commentators were discussing what the couple were doing, and why, and I thought, "OK, NOW you tell me!"
Prior to this, I had not been very mindful of the different types of British wedding customs, and how they were different from those generally in the US. I started doing much more investigating on it after we got our first computer about 10 years later!
If it's a royal wedding the designer of the wedding dress arranges it just before she enters the church as the bridesmaids are too young.
@@StormfieldsComet that's the same here, after the ceremony the couple sign the register(licence) and this requires witnesses(usually your bridesmaid and best man)
@@sharid76 My first thought was, “wait! They didn’t kiss. Is it going to be annulled? People only go to the back alcove if there is an objection to the Marriage. We never saw them kiss until they were on the balcony. Very weird.
That exchange with your wife at the end was the sweetest thing I’ve heard all day. ☺️☺️
My sister got married in central WI and I was a bridesmaid. After the ceremony the entire wedding party climbed into a limo and we bar hopped for over an hour. Then we went to a local restaurant for a meal. As soon as the meal was finished, more that half the people got up and left!! I was totally confused! None of us "city folk" knew what was going on. Finally the sister who got married explained. They went home to milk the cows!!! Sure enough! They all came back in regular clothes and danced well into the night.
South Central WI here. I remember bar hopping after friends’ wedding ceremonies before going to the reception back in the day. The night of the Barneveld tornado was my friend’s birthday and we hit up Country Kitchen at bar time. In comes a bride, groom and attendants at 3:00 a.m., just as drunk as we were. The “Hungry Man Breakfast” became the “Hungry Bride Breakfast” that night.
I’m British and in my experience the two tier invite system works the other way around from how you described. The closest family and friends are invited to the ceremony and the reception with a sit down meal. The second tier of friends are only invited to the evening do or after party as you call it., where there is a disco and maybe some buffet food. I have been invited to just the after party several times but I have never been invited to just the ceremony and not the after party.
To me that's how I understood it. He was a bit sarcastic so maybe that caused confusion.
I've usually come across it as second tier are invited to the ceremony and the evening do, but have to go off and entertain themselves during the receptions when first tier have the sit down meal and speeches. But I guess it depends on how much space there is where the ceremony is taking place (I think I'm also right in saying that if the ceremony is in a CofE church you have to let anyone in, so it makes sense to invite everyone to that)
Anyone can attend a wedding ceremony legally not allowed to turn people away so if 2nd tier choose to come to the ceremony they made that choice knowing they are occupying themselves after the photos and before the evening do.
I always thought it was silly to have the bridesmaids pay for their own dresses. When I got married in the 80s ( in the Southern US), we provided the dresses. My BMs did not have to pay a dime to be in my wedding.
I was in my BFF’s wedding in 1986 in Eastern NC. We paid for our own dresses, even though her family was wealthy. It was a large sun for me and I believe my Dad offered to help me pay for it. I’d long since left home- I was 26, but just finishing college as I worked full time through college.
That's classy! And kind.
When my practical sister in law married, all of us ladies in the wedding party could sew. She sent us material and a pattern and it worked great. Saved everyone money and they all fit.
In the U.S.A., weddings are paid for in a lot of different ways, depending upon the financial status of the bride, the groom and their families.
Thank goodness for Gretna Green.
It's saved a fortune.
Custom and tradition in the United States is that the bride’s family pays for the wedding and the groom’s family pays for the rehearsal dinner.
@@nathanpgraf We don't do rehearsal dinners in the UK, as far as I know.
@@manchestertart5614 - Not quite the same 'run for the border' air to it, but Vegas often serves the same purpose stateside. Added bonus: You can have your ceremony officiated by 'Elvis.'
@@ChrisPage68 rehearsal dinners are the reward for suffering through the wedding rehearsal. We went to a local BBQ place and I tried to not stuff myself with brisket and fried pickles the night before our wedding
We, in the USA, have groomsmen AND ushers at weddings
@@joolzessam1824 Ushers escort the parents and grandparents to their seats at the beginning of the ceremony, handle any candle lighting, and unroll aisle runners, so practical stuff. Groomsmen escort the bridesmaids down the aisle and stand at the front of the room.
Joolz Essam groomsmen stand with the groom. Ushers seat people in the chapel. But you can have groomsmen do the ushering too if in a pinch. Ushers are typically younger men or boys like little brothers or nephews. Then there is the ring bearer and flower girl. Usually under 10 years old.
Joolz Essam here’s an outline of usher duties from a wedding site.
The Difference Between Groomsmen and Ushers
While both roles signify a close bond with the happy couple, the groomsmen are typically the people who have a closer relationship to the couple than the ushers. The ushers are sometimes not included in pre-wedding events (such as the bachelor party) and may dress slightly differently than the groomsmen. Both ushers and groomsmen should be given boutonnieres to help guests identify them. At some weddings, there might not be any difference between the two. They are still performing a role that they should be thanked for, and may also be included in photos with the couple and bridal party depending on the timeline of the day.
@@causticchameleon7861 And sometimes, the ring bearer is a dog.
I attended a wedding between a lovely Nigerian lady and Englishman in England, and they had ushers and groomsmen.
In Switzerland, we do the two tier invitation too. You can be invited to the ceremony and following champagne reception, usually with little snacks and desserts, and then be expected to leave, or you‘re invited to the whole thing, which is the ceremony, reception, and dinner party which may or may not include an afterparty, too. But there are no bridesmaids or groomsmen (only the two people legally required as witnesses, usually just called that, witnesses) and nobody is expected to pay for anything...
My husband is Scottish, and I'm Canadian, so we had some fun picking and choosing different wedding traditions to suit us and make our wedding our own!
Were their kilts like in Intolerable Cruelty?
My husband and his groomsmen wore kilts, and we walked back down the aisle after we were married to Scotland the Brave on bagpipes!
Elizabeth Wilmink did you have Loch Lomond and the crazy dancing at the end of the reception though
Only one wedding.....
My daughter married an American so we had a Scottish wedding and an American wedding.
Crazy Loch Lomond mandatory in Scottish wedding finale!
@@lilyliz230 Yes, we had Loch Lomond and some ceilidh music and all of that! We had a rather small wedding, so we didn't get a big ceilidh going, but we definitely needed that to be a part of our day!
Im American. My baby sister married a Brit, in England. I went over for the wedding.
My mother and I were careful to choose proper English wedding attire, including proper hats. It was so much fun!
The wedding was, to us, very different. The wedding ceremony in one church with one group of attendees. Then a stop for the wedding party for formal pictures in the gardens of one of the grand homes there. Then the wedding breakfast at another church hall with a different and some same group of attendees. Then for the family, a 2 hour trip across northern England for another religious ceremony.
Another difference was that the wedding cake was not served at the wedding breakfast. Each guest was given a wrapped slice of cake to take home.
We loved the ladies hats part of the wedding so much we did that at my daughters American wedding years later.
@Joe Casson Lol. Not ours. We are mega bargain shoppers and everything we bought was 80-90% off. The entire wedding catering and decor was done by the couple, family and friends at cost. :)
My plane ticket cost more than the entire wedding.
Our family and friends are people who all pitch in to make and do, for all special events. What one does to help someone else, the favor is returned when the giver/doer has their own events.
All decor, backdrops, tablecloths, everything basically, is used multiple times in multiple ways. Weddings can be done for hundreds of pounds/dollars this way, rather than thousands or tens of thousands.
Even the wedding gowns are got very inexpensively. Clearance or floor samples, easily found on ebay for very little. We got a designer dress for $43 including shipping, brand new never worn, just hadnt sold, was $1600 new.
That's another culture difference, though not between England and the States, just a subculture. :)
Don't forget the notorious "destination wedding!" You know, where the happy couple decides it wants to do the deed at a posh resort somewhere or other, and the invitees are invited to fly over to join them...at their own expense, of course. Well, the bar damn well better be free after that nonsense!
That 'Destination Wedding' can also help shrink the number of folk who manage to attend - which might also help with the costs of; the drinks, lower the number of tables to reserve at the restaurant or wedding hall, shrink the amount of food they've got to plan for, smaller cake, etc.. Basically it can be a sneaky ways of defraying some of the costs for the couple while still getting a head start on the honeymoon trip - though the travel costs up front are steeper than staying at home. And for those who do attend the the special location, it really is quite memorable.
........................
A notable category of American Wedding culture is the blended Western/Asian style event. I've been lucky enough to attend a few of these, and the additional layers of traditions bring in some enjoyable variations on the 'standard' wedding scenarios including; additional outfit changes, more of a role for the parents, the Red Envelopes, and other differences. I'm generalizing, as the range of traditions from multiple countries, backgrounds, and variations of fashion and individual human quirkiness can lead to a wider range of differences than simply 'Asian'- but it's always interesting to see a new variations on wedding ceremonies. They are such an interesting form of performance art - as well as a giant money pit.
@Tammy Pearre how about kids? Im still thinking about that one should I have kids or not ? I don't want to be rude but and the same time I got nephews and nieces
"Destination Weddings" or as I like to call them "RSVP No wedding"
Or many weddings are only near half of many friends and relatives, so a second reception happens where the other half live. $$$$$
A few years ago we were in Las Vegas and saw a British bride, with two children and Groom, waiting outside a hotel a 6:30 in the morning for a taxi. No friends, no relatives. Sad really
I have been to several of my cousins' weddings in America and not only did they not have an open bar...there was no alcohol allowed at all bc they are very religious. imagine my British husband's horrific shock when I told him!
My husband would have been horrified and did indeed refuse to attend 2 " dry" weddings.
I had one cousin who had an alcohol free reception; luckily, the hall was at an Elk's lodge so my sister, brother-in-law and I went over to the club side for drinks a couple of times.
I find it odd that whether alcohol is served is a big deal. I can take it or leave it.
That was my first item in the comments. I grew up in the churches of Christ and alcohol was unthinkable (there was actually at least one person my mom had heard at one church of Christ here in Dallas that tried to sell the idea that the wine Jesus made from water or that was used in communion was a weaker kind that didn't cause drunkenness, or some such nonsense). For the same reason, we didn't grow up with the experience of the "drunk uncle" at holiday gatherings, as skewered by _SNL_ so many times.
@@tejaswomanActually, this is true. Watered wine was de rigueur in the ancient world, the alcohol sterilized the water. Remember in the Odyssey, when they encountered the cyclops they gave him the goatskin of "concentrated" wine which made him drunk enough for them to poke out his one eye. Most ancient peoples, including children, also drank "small" (low alcohol) beer instead of suspect water.
I’ve always found in the UK that the 2 tier system works the other way around. You have more obligatory people at the wedding and breakfast and then others invited to the ‘evening’ - very often the bride and grooms boozy mates and your parents dodgy neighbours. If they can make it to the ceremony (they’re local etc) they’re very welcome to attend that. It still costs though as everyone expects a buffet to come out around 10ish to keep them all going until the end. Also where I come from (East End of London) it’s common for the brides father or the bride and groom to stick some money ‘behind the pitch’ ie the bar. I was married in 1985 and dad put £200 in. When that had gone he stood at the bar and wouldn’t let anyone buy a drink - my mum was thrilled! This applies to lots of ‘do’s here, a certain amount is free until the money runs out and then you pay. This might account for certain people with short arms and long pockets getting drunk relatively early on!😄🥂
I'm marrying my Welsh fiancee in just under a year and then moving to Pembrokeshire. I'm from the Pacific NW but did my Masters in Scotland and lived there for many years so am very familiar with British culture and all of the differences you describe. Jimmy and I are having two ceremonies, one in each country, but neither will follow many traditions spoken of in this video. We want our first wedding to be only close family and friends who are like family, so only 30 people, on my brother's property out in the countryside near Seattle. The blessing ceremony back in the village in Wales will be the whole community as well as our friends all across Britain, and will be held in the 12th century chapel just outside the village, big party at the village pub after (which his brother owns). There will be nothing formal about either event, just celebrating with those we love :)
Sounds amazing! Congratulations!
@@afeeser thank you so much :)
@spirals 73 Thank you :)
Congrats! I have a question for you, off-topic. Was it hard for you to adjust to life in Scotland after America? If so, what were the top 3 or 4 things it took you awhile to adjust too. I did Ancestry DNA and found out my DNA is 73% Scots/Irish and I have become fascinated with Ireland and especially Scotland.
Hi from Pembrokeshire. Hope you settle in well!
In the uk you either have a whole day invite or evening only xx
A few years ago I must have had some time of my hands as I went through the weddings I'd attended and split them by whether I went for the whole day or just the evening. I worked out that the couple were more likely to still be together if I only went for the evening.
That’s what he means by tier 1 and tier 2
In 2006 my niece married a man from Rotherham. He came to the states in the late 90's to go to university and be on the track team. That's where they met. They skipped the wedding madness by getting married on a beach in Maui. They are still in the states and have 4 dual citizen children.
My niece Tara married an Englishman. The speeches I have seen videos of from the British weddings are the best!
Black cats are NOT bad luck, especially here in Yorkshire, Black cats are good luck... I LOVE Black cats, I’ve had 3
Two tier weddings here tend to be close family & friends (tier 1) attend the ceremony and dinner, then tier 2 folks (like work colleagues) are invited to only the evening reception for the piss up, buffet and disco. I have NEVER heard of it being the other way around
So funny, cuz we did the other way around. I invited everyone to the ceremony , but not everyone to the reception.
That's pretty common where I love actually, because alot of ppl just want to see you get married but you may not know them well enough to spend $45 on their dinner lol
@@hufflepunkslitherclaw7436 in the UK the "sit down" part of the day is early, we don't tend to do a cocktail hour, although they should while photos are being done.
Then dinner happens, speeches etc, then other folks arrive and it's just buffet & finger food, cutting the cake, first dance & partaaay!
I find weddings to be the worst kinda day, it's beautiful and lovely for the couple, but as a guest, weddings suck... lol
So I never had one, we snuck off to marry at the seaside (traditional British seaside) with only our witnesses knowing.
After a civil marriage our friends turned up to join us for a long party weekend, with no idea there was another motive.
We bought everyone ice-creams and they swore we were lying (we had been together for 26years, so it was a long running joke). We had to show rings, paperwork and photos.
Our wedding day was then: (change into day wear) Pub crawl, pirate theme crazy golf, fish n chips with champagne n n the beach (we prearranged the champagne n glasses to be at chip stand).
We also had our "wedding cake" then, which was a huge pile of donuts which were freshly fried & still warm & yummy.
More pubs, silly arcade time & bowling.
Change into evening wear. (I put my "wedding dress" back on: it was a 1940s inspired tea dress, black with white spots.
Lots mora pubs n general silliness followed by the traditional "post pissup" curry to end the night.
We paid for the food & treats all day, and several rounds of drinks, but our wedding day and hotel for the entire weekend cost us approx £2,000 including our clothes too.
We refer to it as our anti-wedding wedding... lol ... we usually go back for a party weekend every year since, this year is our 5th anniversary, but we dunno if we can go back or not... Which sucks
I agree about cats - they're good luck. I grew up in Scotland.
I'm from the Liverpool area. Black cats are lucky here too. I believe it's a North vs. South thing. In the north, black cats are lucky and in the south they are unlucky. We have always used the expression "lucky as a black cat".
Jo HexxKitten I thought black cats being lucky was a British thing and thinking they’re unlucky was American. I’ve never heard of it being a north south division before, but I am northern
I started watching these videos bc I lived in the UK for a handful of years and I was looking for a British view on the similarities and differences between the two places, but honestly you got my subscription and FREQUENT viewership bc you're a good writer. I very much appreciate your style.
Interesting: I'm a Brit and IME the two-tiered system is either everything: wedding, meal, after-party or after-party only. Some sedate elderly relatives may choose not to attend the after party, but that's not usually how the invitations work (because the sit-down meal costs so much more than the buffet at the party).
Elizabeth Leyden To me, that whole three-function system in itself is interesting - I thought I’d misunderstood when he mentioned it in the video because, in Australia, the meal and party are one event called the “reception”. So how does it work with the meal and after-party - are they held at different locations? Is the after-party held at a proper function venue or just at a pub or bar? The two tiered invitation is interesting, too - here, I think most people would be horribly offended to only be invited to the ceremony (except in some very specific circumstances like my sister’s grade 2 teacher, who issued an open invitation to her students to come and watch her get married but obviously wasn’t going to invite them all and their parents to the reception). And, since we do the reception as one event, making it by far the most costly part, I’ve never heard of anyone inviting anyone to the the reception who they didn’t want at the ceremony.
@@pszczolka80 I know it's a month late but the person you replied to didn't reply. Normally the meal and after party are held in the same place (never been to one where they weren't), a lot of places will just take out a few tables or move them to make room for a little bit of a dance floor. A lot of the weddings I've been to the whole day is held in the same place - different rooms or sometimes the room has a wall that separates the ceremony and meal which then opens up to join the rooms.
Normally you're invited to the whole day or just the evening part which is the party, usually there's a buffet or hog roast to feed guests in the evening. I've never known anyone be annoyed at just being invited to the evening but I imagine they hide their annoyance. The day being split between day/evening guests is kinda useful, I'm going to a wedding next year at which I'll have a 6 month old so I've asked if I can just go for the evening so that we're not out for a full day with baby. (Obviously I don't mind being out for a full day with a baby, it's the being formal while doing so I don't like the idea of)
One of my wife's college friends married a British man, and one of the British traditions that they incorporated into their wedding was the wedding cake. According to British tradition, it was a fruitcake. But it wasn't the inedible American fruitcake that everyone jokes about at Christmastime. It was a WONDERFUL fruitcake that everyone enjoyed.
Traditionally (but very old fashioned now) British wedding cakes are fruit cake because the the top tier of the cake is saved for the first born child's christening.
@@Mermaid632 Here in Scotland we also consider that a proper wedding cake is a heavy fruit cake suffused in whiskey and covered first in marzipan and then in royal icing. Until recent years all guests were presented with a small crepe paper bag containing a small piece to take home. Single ladies were meant to put this under their pillow so they might dream of the "man of their dreams". Other small pieces of the cake went into small, specially designed cardboard boxes to be mailed to any friends or relatives who had not managed to attend the wedding. Cake bags and boxes had the bride and groom's names or initials and the date. Sadly rising printing and postage costs have seen these little customs disappear at all but the poshest weddings.
@@Mermaid632 I have some Danish Family. When I have been to a family wedding in Denmark, sometimes they have a Danish Wedding cake - Light sponge - lots of fresh cream, yummy. But if it's a fruitcake, and they hear about the top tier being kept the Danes are horrified. Even more so at the christening, until you tell them how much alcohol is in it, then it's fine :-)
@@Mermaid632 what if they don't have kids? waste of cake
@@Mermaid632 My Mom made Wedding cakes as a very good side business. It might be the Brides day, but I choose the cake design. Three tier surrounded by 6 satellite cakes, all connected by a royal icing bridge. That way the 6 cakes got used first and kept the central part intact longer. The top tier was carrot cake which saves in the freezer very nicely. Eaten on the first anniversary. Never heard of waiting for the first child’s birth....
Texas girl, married a guy from Scotland. We had bagpipers, full kilt on the groom, I ordered ribbon in his clan tartan for the bridesmaids flowers and it was beautiful.
We’re divorced now, but it was a lovely wedding and reception. I cried down the aisle, I was exhausted and stressed because I’d done so much of the work. I’d even baked/decorated wedding cakes for other couples to pay for my dress. Yes, I baked our cakes, but a dear decorator friend decorated the cakes. They were gorgeous.
My ex and I are finally friends now.
my dad provided multiple cases,( boxes if 12 liter bottles) of grey goose, crown royal and captian Morgan for my middle brothers wedding. this is ten years ago and we finaly finished the last of it, just in time for my baby brothers wedding lol
Where I’m from in the Midwest of the US if you get a wedding invite it is automatic that you’re invited to the reception. If someone is on a budget they can opt to pay for rail liquor and draft beer only. If someone wants top shelf liquor then they would pay for that but honestly I’ve only been to a couple of weddings where ALL of the drinks were not included. It’s also not uncommon for someone to have several hundred people at their wedding/reception.
And the Chicken Dance. Doing the Chicken Dance is the law.
@@tamcon72 Not ALL cultures within America. Just a certain non- melenated pool.
Michigan, in the land of Polish or Italian weddings.
500 guest, open bar.
Grandma would DIE if the guest had to pay. Then there is the little party around 12 pm for brunch and finishing up the rest of the booze.
Catholics know how to party.
Been to two dry weddings, and a couple pay as you drink. Those wrapped up after the dinner. Even with a DJ .
@@blendedtonesable I have seen POC do the Chicken Dance, believe or not. It depends on one's social set.
@@tamcon72 so happy Chicken Dance was on our "do not play" list
In Sweden it's traditional for the couple to walk in together and the bridesmaids usually wear what they want.
When he was talking about the tiered system and leaving before the night party. Actually where I’m from there are all day guests and night guests.
Yeah I’ve never heard of people leaving before the party- it’s usually people get to go to the ceremony and breakfast AND the party and then subsidiary people like colleagues and neighbours join the party too 😂
I was surprised by that one,I've only known all day and evening guests ,unless he got mixed up because he also said its a tradition for the groom not to see the bride before the wedding,I assume he meant on the day of the wedding but maybe Americans think we marry strangers 😂
Lost in the Pond--American weddings ALSO have "tiered" guest lists. With the exception of high-society weddings and White House daughter weddings (think Julie and Tricia Nixon as well as the Johnson girls) ANYONE may attend the church ceremony, since churches are open to all. However, if you are receiving a printed invitation, the invitation will sport the actual ceremony times. Inside will be a smaller pre-addressed envelope and card with the time of the reception, if you are invited to that and an R. S. V. P. is required. The "after party" is a more recent innovation and an addressed envelope with a card will be enclosed for THAT as well. So, it is possible that you can be invited to the ceremony only (for which you will have to choose bride's or groom's side of the church, since anyone can pop in and be seated 'way at the back or in the balcony), or the ceremony plus the reception, or the ceremony plus the after-party, or all three of the celebrations. Wedding customs in the USA are based on regional customs, religious beliefs, and ethnic heritages. For my wedding (50 years ago now) I eschewed the Lithuanian bits--and I regret those decisions now. I didn't wear rue in my hair the day before the wedding/rehearsal and rehearsal dinner. (The rue symbolizes the sorrow a bride feels at leaving her childhood home and her family for her new home with her husband.) I refused to wear a veil and tied up my long, dark tresses with a pale blue bow, my "something blue" and, at the reception, I declined to have my mother remove the "headpiece"/bow and replace it with a lace doily to indicate that I was no longer a bride, but a wife. Baptists do not serve alcohol at their wedding receptions. In the South, there are two wedding cakes--a bride's cake and a groom's cake. Men don't wear hats in Church; in military weddings, the ceremonial swords must be left in the narthex; they cannot be taken into the sanctuary and are NOT worn at the altar by any of the groomsmen or the groom. In Russian Orthodox weddings, the bride and groom are "crowned" with gorgeous crowns the church keeps on hand; in Greek weddings, the crowns, stefana, are usually comprised of orange blossoms and they are kept as remembrances of the day. Many brides adhere to these customs in the USA: Something old;,something new; something borrowed, something blue; and a lucky penny for your shoe. My sister had a "lucky penny" in her shoe that gave her a mightly blister on her foot, even though it was encased in a white duchesse satin little envelope to cushion it.
One MercilessMing Actually I’ve seen people only get invited to the reception. I’ve had at least 5 of those invites. It always feels like a win for not being expected at the church. It would be considered VERY rude to show up at the church where you were not invited.
Mormon weddings are closed off to non Mormon church card members. They don’t want anyone not a part of the church in their temple.
Miss Manners says that it's correct to invite people only to the wedding and not to the reception, just as it is correct to invite people only to the reception and not to the ceremony.
@@ellieandrew2121--That's "Miss Manners' " opinion. If you only invite people to the reception, you might as well announce that you're only inviting them for their gift. Houses of worship are open to all (with the possible exception of Mormon weddings) and it costs NOTHING to invite people to the very reasons that there's a celebration at all...the solemnation of vows.
@@onemercilessming1342 at every wedding I've been to, the church has been closed off to the public for the duration of the wedding. Just because it's a church doesn't mean every random Joe Blow is invited to the wedding 😂
Oh man..., I didn’t know there was a site for dating British men.. dang. I wonder if they take trade-ins.
@@meladmelad6394 Stop the spam, dude. We all already hate you.
Be careful, there are a ton of English guys waiting to marry an American so they can get their American citizenship! I have a cousin who my family suspects did this very thing! Can you say “ca-Ching”?!
Shauna Coleman - my father was raised in Birmingham. I have one cousin who got his bachelors degree and law degree in the US. He met his first wife the night he found out he could get a green card! They got a divorce years ago! He has a huge house, with a huge yard and makes a great living! He is living the American dream! I have another cousin who has his PHD in Math and science. He would never go back! I love England, but would never want to live there, because I would not have the opportunities that I would have here!
@@stephenflynn7600 . One swallow doesn't make a summer. There is plenty of opportunity to succeed in the UK, no guns, free healthcare, Europe on your doorstep. I have visited the USA and thought it was nice but live there? No ta.
@@-NemoMeImpuneLacessit how much of the US did you visit? It's such a vast country with so many cultures, races and lifestyles. It's too difficult to get a true feel for the country and all it has to offer just from visiting select places.
I've been to Emgland several times and can't say I've experienced it all. My husband is English and has said the same as the other comments. He doesn't want to go back and prefers the US. I'd be fine living in either place. Go figure!
Laurence, Consider wedding reception fare. In my region (upper Ohio River valley/Pittsburgh) a buffet with fried chicken, rigatoni and possibly roast beef is served. A keg of Rolling Rock and a few bottles of Kessler's whiskey are offered up. All in the spartan ambience of a volunteer fire department hall.
There's nothing like a Fire Hall Reception!!! And the Cookie Table! :)
Cookie tables are the best! And don't forget cabbage rolls.
@@martham4176 I grew up in the Mahoning Valley. I was going to mention cabbage rolls. (and maybe kolachi)
Knights of Columbus halls FTW!
The most hammered I've ever gotten were at Knights of Columbus hall wedding receptions. Old guy bartender pours drinks like we are all functioning alcoholics.
Love the cookie table!
For anyone wondering which GMM episode this clip was from, it’s from episode 1380, “I have a confession.”
American here: My aunt had her bridesmaids wear hats in 1980 when she married. At the time she was a huge fan of new British fashion icon Lady Diana Spencer. I was one of the bridesmaids and I also had my hair styled like "Lady Di" which made me feel very adult at the time.
In 1984 my high school biology teacher got married. She invited all her students to the church and quite a lot of us showed up (maybe 100 between all her classes). It was enough that half of us sat on the groom's side of the church. That was the only 2-tier wedding I've ever been to. I can understand why it was done this way. Miss K didn't want to pay to feed a pack of growing teenagers or worry about anyone acting up at the reception. It was almost 40 years ago and I still remember the "shush shush" noise her silk taffeta dress made when she walked around in it.
I love your comment about vegas, Amsterdam, and stripper. This is what i love about British humor.
This has to be one of your best LitP's yet. Laughed until I cried...
After watching this, I'm still so sorry that we had to have a two tiered reception and that you and Tarah were not invited to the 2nd location (after party). We had such a huge guest list and it had been many years since I had been in touch with any of my second cousins on either side of my family. The per seat cost was through the roof and we just couldn't swing inviting everyone that we wanted. Looking back I would have done it so much differently. :'(
At least you're in our wedding photos!
Ah, yes! We definitely don't hold a grudge. Hope you are both well!
@Nicky L For the gifts, of course.
Chris Nealis Plus, you never knew that he was going to be famous!
Oh, so this is why you think that tier2 is that way round! No, that's just a really unusual way of doing it!
My husband and I got married in the local Registry office, 10 miles away. On the morning of the wedding our car broke down so my husband had to borrow a replacement. Friends that had come to stay with us wanted bacon sandwiches for breakfast. I had to rush to get my hair done. More friends turned up and wanted to use the bathroom. Eventually we had 30 mins to bath and get ready before setting off. My husband shot off in our car but I had to tell him to slow down because the friends didn’t know the way. When we got there all the guests were waiting, wondering where we were.My husband was so nervous that when it was his turn to say the vows he got muddled. He looked at the registrar and said ‘ sorry mate, my cockup, let’s start again. The whole room erupted into laughter. From then on everything went smoothly and we’ve been married for 42 years.
A beautiful menory.
I don’t think my wife would like me to use your sponsor. But good picks for the traditions.
Hahaha!! For more than reasons, I suppose, mate...
missing word. "one", as in more than one reasons...
i like the british tiered guest list approach!
that would allow me to calibrate relationships as needed to avoid being invited to wedding receptions while still maintaining friendly relations
brilliant
We did this 18 years ago for my daughter's wedding not knowing that it was a real thing but it went over well and it fit our budget and if anyone who was in the tier-1 dropped out then we can add someone from the tier 2 list to the Tier 1 list so it worked out well.
The usual system in the UK is close family, friends go to everything.
Casual friends, distant relatives and workmates get an evening invite.
It's considered rude and offensive in America, though. People at my school still have some hurt feelings over one of the teachers using this system. She probably didn't realize that some of the people she was excluding were going to be her co-workers for the next decade, but it came off pretty tacky to ask them to drive over an hour to her out-of-the-way church to be sent home less than two hours later having not even been offered so much as a glass of water.
And probably wondered why she wasn't invited to parties, bbq etc. It's flat out rude and narcissistic to think anyone actually goes to a wedding for the "honor" of witnessing the vows. It's a boring expensive obligation.
One of the funniest guys on CZcams! Whenever I need cheering up (a lot lately) I'll find one of your joyous romps in British-humor land.
I believe there are many places in the US where there is a cash bar. I believe it is the normal custom on Boston, the result of which caused the New York father of the bride to pay for the open bar from his own funds (according to what my uncle told me). My favorite was an open bar on a docked boat in Manhattan, which I can't seem to remember much either.
Having grown up in Boston, I can tell you that no, cash bars are not the norm at weddings, at least currently. Perhaps in the 80s and 90s, but open bars grew in popularity. I can't imagine attending a wedding now with a cash bar.
I've only been to one wedding with an open bar. I do live in the upper Midwest, though, so it's possible people are just more frugal out here. I am seeing drink tickets becoming more of a thing lately, where a couple free drinks for each guest are provided, but after that you're on your own.
And here in Canada as always we take from both but lean towards the American side.
In Ireland you can get invited to just “the afters” ie the party bit after the dinner and speeches, and there’s usually a buffet too for the evening guests (but everyone eats it)
As someone who worked in several hotels in Ireland, mostly doing different wedding-related roles, the evening buffet is for everyone. When booking a wedding and then confirming details with the venue, the couple confirm their numbers for the meal and the extra joining for the evening, and the buffet is usually made for about 70-80% of the total number of people who will be there for it. :) But if often doesn't look like a lot of food, because hotels are good at working out the average amount of food that gets eaten, so there won't be enough prepared for everyone to have say, 2 of everything on the buffet.
Laughed all the way through this, while learning a few things, too. The photo of the two of you is adorable.
In Ireland it's the opposite.
There is a 2 tier invite too.
Tier 1: Whole shebang.
Tier 2: Reception only.
Same in Scotland, never heard of anyone going to wedding and not reception.
@@susanwood6933 Right, I couldn't believe it when he said wedding only. X
In England, I don't think I've ever heard of it the other way round either. The evening 'do' is a chance to invite other friends and drink copious amounts.
I've also noticed in Ireland that the cousin of the bloke that you once said hi to in the street's invited. I've looked after hen parties and the girls spend a good half an hour introducing each other. Lol
Dear brides: talk to your partner before the wedding - if you don't want a crazy bachelor party or certain things to happen - you need to say it beforehand. You can't just hope for the best. If you're not OK with something - anything - say it. If he disagrees, dump him and find someone better for you. (Look into attachment styles cause maybe you are secure and he is avoidant - if he is avoidant, you will never change him.) There are plenty of fish in the sea!!! : )
It ended up that both my husband and I ended up going bowling on our respective nights out. This was not coordinated in any way.
I thought the wedding their was the other way around, more people at the evening party (often a small buffet) than the ceremony and lunch?
Now that was a very handy video Laurence,thank you . Funnily enough I met my Fiancé on that very site and once we are through the joys of the visa process I will be moving to Utah from the UK to marry her.
My guess is that there are a whole lot less groomsmen in hats in American weddings because hats aren’t allowed to be worn by men in church. In some areas of the US certain women will wear hats, but it’s usually the older generation. But I also grew up in a fairly religious community in the South where weddings typically had no dancing, booze, or secular music and the reception involved cheese straws, punch, and pimento cheese tea sandwiches made by the church ladies.
I think Brits would be stunned to find out how many US weddings have ZERO booze and dancing. You have Christians, Mormons, Amish, etc., where that's not gonna happen because they are CHURCH weddings, lol.
I have never heard of cheese straws or pimento cheese and could count on one of my middle aged hands number of times in my life have seen punch! Been to likely 50 weddings and only 2 had no dancing and 75 percent had liquor/drinking etc and vast majority music was cranked!
Lisa Eichler-Johnson it’s a Southern thing. We do things very different down here.
I grew up Church of Christ in the South. Every wedding had mixed nuts, little mints, and punch made from sherbet, and it was always on a Saturday afternoon.
Claire Woerner Did you attend my wedding? 🤣🤣
The guest list thing is opposite in many Scottish weddings. All day is for close people, evening guests are added later and are usually colleagues, friends of friends etc. This is cheaper as free bars are not normal and therefore, you basically pay for maybe 1 drink and a breakfast roll around 10pm. Day guests get food, table wine, bubbly etc.
Alasdair English person here, I’ve never been invited to just the day part of a wedding, only the full day or just the evening reception. The sit down meal is normally the most expensive part per head, so inviting people for that but not the evening doesn’t make sense! We had 90 for our day but invited another 100 for our evening. Maybe he’s just been to weird weddings?
Why would anyone bother going to the evening part? Hey pal, I'm getting hitched. Don't think enough of you for a full invitation; but please stop by after everything is done. Don't forget to bring a gift. There's a big nothing planned for all the tier 2 gift givers....er I mean guests.
You are hilarious! Thank you!! I needed a bit of humor at this point in my covid19 day!!
You're welcome.
I love your videos!!!! Now that you've talked about weddings, would you consider making a video about dating in Britain vs. America? Thank you!
In Ireland the 2 tier System is either full event or after-party only...
In Canada it's everything or wedding only.
I thought that was the same in UK? I've done whole event (wedding, formal sitdown wedding breakfast, buffet with disco), wedding and disco, and disco only. Also weddings which didn't have formal breakfast, just ceremony and buffet with disco.
@@Rhianalanthula It is the same in the UK he got it the wrong way round for some reason
Fun video! I was surprised you didn't mention wedding speeches and telegrams.
The Best man's speech and text messages 🇬🇧. The Father's speech.
I'm British/Portuguese, my now-husband is Puerto Rican, and we're living in the states. It really confused our American guests that people other than the best man and maid of honor gave speeches.
American here. I was so confused when I watched the wedding episode of Sherlock and Mrs. Hudson is like "Sherlock will have to read the telegrams!" It was obviously a joke, but I didn't know what she was talking about! So, are they actual telegrams from an actual telegram office? (Do telegram offices still exist?) Or are they notes and messages sent by various means?
Also the wedding breakfast - as at our son’s wedding in London recently - which was at 3 pm!! As I understand it, the wedding breakfast is simply the first meal the newlyweds share and can therefore be at any time of the day!
@@KR-ue1gd I don't think telegrams exist any more but we certainly had them read out at my wedding in 1969.
Texan here. Cowboy hats and cowboy boots can be appropriate wedding attire, but it depends on the dress code and the niceness of the hat and boots. Are you a man? Are they your work boots? Don't wear them. Are they your $100 snake leather dress boots that go well with a suit? That's fine. Is the bride vegan? Maybe reconsider. Are you a woman? Are you wearing your nice boots with a sundress? Totally normal. It's also pretty common for the bride herself to wear cowboy boots for country or rustic chic weddings. Or if she just likes to wear boots.
I wore my boots with my wedding dress.
I've never seen this channel before but this is A+ comedy I can appreciate, especially having lived on both sides of the pond.
Oh! This is amazing. Thank you for the heads up.
I really liked the quality of this video. Image is very sharp, yet almost matte haze ( I don't know if there is a word for that effect). It looks very eye pleasing and professional.
Glad you enjoyed it
Lost in the Pond I enjoyed it too. Keep it up.
In Britain it’s normally the whole wedding or just the evening do. The sit down meal is the most expensive part.
See, that's where I've been going wrong. When I got married, in England, in 1968, we had a 'wedding breakfast' for 75 people, and that was big, but we didn't have an 'evening do' and set off for our honeymoon in the middle of the afternoon. Some. Of my younger friends have invited me to their weddings, and seem a bit taken aback when I say I would love to come, but not to the evening bit, it's for the young, I'll be asleep before the DJ or whatever hits their second tune. Now I understand why!
Thank you so much for uploading this video. It is helping me to get through the pandemic!
Another epic video. Thank you.
My cousin Julia was supposed to get married in London right around now and I can't flyover there to see her get married (I'm a British born and raised but living in Canada).
The two tier system is different where I'm from - Newcastle.
Only closest friends and family are invited to the reception, after the service, but all your friends and family are invited to 'The Night Do'.
A free aperitif - usually, whisky or sherry, free wine and champagne is considered essential at the reception.
A free bar is pretty normal, although sometimes there will be a limit placed on spending, because people tend to get very thirsty up here, which can prove to be expensive. : )
In all honesty I've only ever known it to be that way as well - only the select are invited to the wedding and wedding breakfast, but loads of people are invited to the evening do
Yes, I think he got the two tiers back to front.
Yeah that's the way my friends did it when they got married, although the reception was more like their wedding breakfast. We're also cutting costs by providing a free aperitif as well as some wine on the tables, but any other drinks are to be paid for at the bar.
graceygrumble yeah. Close family/friends - The whole day. Other friends/extended family/colleagues etc - Reception ‘The Night Do’
Americans prefer to spend money they don't have rather than the money they do have.
Is that a Dr Who tie? 😂 i love it
I really enjoyed this. Great job bro.
Obviously Laurence forgot to include pics of his wedding🤨
They're very bad.
@@LostinthePond Did you wear a top hat?
@@LostinthePond Does the wife agree with that? Not even pictures of the rings? How bad could THEY be?
@@129diggsdrive - With a feather in It? 😉
"Inhaleable plant life" is my new favourite phrase.
I think it might only be wealthy weddings in the USA that invite everyone for the reception because here in modest working America we often have two guest list too and it’s usually fewer for the party due to cost.
Another fun video. Thank you
In the UK it would be very unusual indeed to be invited to the wedding but not the evening do. It tends to be you are either invited to the whole day or just the evening. The daytime being family and close friends and the evening everybody else.
That's what I was thinking, I've never heard of a wedding where people are invited to the ceremony and not the party. The party is the cheaper part of the wedding!
There's been a couple of times where I was invited only to the ceremony (with coffee and cake afterwards) and another couple of times where I was invited to the ceremony and to the evening do, but not the sitdown meal. The only time I was invited to the evening do but NOT the ceremony was when the couple were getting married in a church that was too small to hold everyone. This was all in the UK, and all Christian weddings. I think that might be because to Christians the church service is the most important part of the wedding and, providing the building is big enough, having more people doesn't increase the cost anyway.
Fun and funny video as always! But a couple of questions: Do the guests get to throw vast quantities of small projectiles in the form of hard dry rice at the lucky couple and do the male relatives of the bride and groom get to vandalize (ok, decorate) the groom's car with graffiti, condoms, and tin cans? Just curious. Cheers!
Yes, more likely to be confetti ( tiny bits of coloured paper) than rice although some churches won’t allow it. I don’t think the vandalise the car thing is as popular as it was but it’s certainly a traditional part of the British wedding.
What about that absolutely horrible 'tradition' of mashing the cake in the bride's (or groom's) face? How did that EVER become a thing? It's like asking for trouble right out of the starting gate!
@@AbsentWithoutLeaving I've never seen that one. That sounds like something that would just end the festivities tbh, does the groom then go off and wash and get changed? Or does he hang around messy all evening even before he's got a few pints down his neck?
@@AbsentWithoutLeaving That is definitely a big no no !! Now they're very dainty about it they want a good photo of them feeding each other a slice of cake.... Not to mention cake's are becoming obselete... My son & daughter in-law had delicious Donut's, So Good!!! Bags with their monogram on it for guest to eat one there or take home
Thank you for letting me know about the dating site!! Love your channel!!!
Very fun episode!
We paid for our son's wedding since he and his bride (both Marines) and her family didn't have the funds. It was a very low-key event with only two from each family in attendance at the wedding, and the reception held in our home. No bridesmaids or groomsmen. No alcohol. No pre-wedding parties. They wanted small and simple, so they got small and simple. Our daughter's wedding (which we also paid for) was only a little more elaborate. Our son's took three months to plan (he was deploying, so we needed to move fast). Our daughter's took about four months. I think I like the simple weddings best.
My wife of 38 years had a destination wedding in Hawaii, cost her father a small fortune. The marriage lasted 9 months, turns out he was a serial cheater. We were married by a justice of the peace with three witnesses and went to a great Mexican food restaurant to celebrate. Raised two boys now in their thirties and we are grandparents. Go figure.
No booze?!?!? 😱
@@ChrisPage68 It's a religious thing for us. No one expected it because they were either also of our faith or understood that was part of our beliefs and would have been shocked had it been available.
Weddings and wedding receptions also vary by religious denomination.
I'm a wedding and marriage minister in the SE US. Oh, the stories of wedding ceremonies I could tell! Great job, Laurence!
I love your videos!!!!
Dude, you are hilarious! Omg, I love it. Also, as an American, I love hearing some of the cultural differences you're sharing. Its pretty cool!
Can I just say that the love of Doctor Who is what first caught me on this channel! Haha Kidding, well, kinda
Congratulations on being the only comment that mentioned Dr Who 😁
I loved this!
You are HYSTERICAL! Had to subscribe ❤️
Wow, Rhett and Link. You're moving up in the world.
I'd like to see more early pictures of you and the missus!
My pandemic wedding with six people (including the bride and groom) was the best
Two tiered weddings in UK. See "Four weddings and a funeral" for reference!
Wedding breakfast - meal for close family and friends in the afternoon with speeches.
Wedding reception - evening party with bar, disco and / or band, a buffet is also served.
I cleverly combined the two by having a wedding in a hotel, late afternoon for all guests with reception drinks and canapés, followed by a party with speeches, a band, a disco and a self service meal.