Most guys aren’t one or the other. Most men have a soft side and a more traditionally masculine side. Entertainment has never done a great job at reconciling this
As a man, I love feeling masculine but I also love being in tune with my feminine side as I take enjoyment in nurturing babies, puppies, and kittens. I’m also a hopeless romantic. It just feels weird to sometimes find myself in this paradox of masculinity and femininity.
Exactly. I know this sounds like non-advice, but just be yourself. I enjoy being feminine but sometimes like to be a total pig. Nothing wrong with fawning over cute animals and babies. It’s actually a good sign to women because it shows promise that you’d be a good father (Unless you already are, in which case you know)
@patrickhamilton7849 Honest question. Do you feel more comfortable with favoring the strong side or do you feel like you have to? Or a bit of both? I understand why. My ex-sister-in-law would weaponize every little insecurity my big brother had. It was so damn sad.
There's nothing wrong with either uber masculine oosing testoterone or soft sweet boys who express their emotions a lot. I love both. It think we tend to lean towards an either-or like one is bad and the other good. Wrong. Every male has the right to express what being a man is to him. As long as he's being the kind and amazing person he's been called to be.
Timothée Chalamet is leading the charge for the Soft Boy in the Gen Z era alongside Tom Holland but there were many who came before him. Like Andrew McCarthy, John Cryer, Matthew Broderick, River Pheonix, Keanu Reeves & John Cusack of the 80's. Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise were the pretty boys of their era. Both had a softer side yet both had a traditionally masculine edge. Plus the Anne Rice Vampires looked ridiculously feminine. If any actor could be considered a soft boy the 90's it's gotta be Leonard DiCaprio. He had quite the androgynous edge to him in those days. For the 2000's it's Micheal Pitt & Tobie Maguire. Decades ago the Soft Boy would've been lumped in with the Nerd or the Pretty Boy type
@@abbiehoffman2921 How can we forget Mr. Depp. He was so versatile an actor, he was beyond categorisation. It's effortless to forget that Johnny D was quite pretty boy in his early career. It was in the 90s when he really became one of the biggest names on the silver screen.
@@flatearthisahoax4030 Yet he ended up playing the most prolific Joker in comic book cinema history. I never considered Mr. Ledger in that soft man category even if he was on the pretty end.
I’m sorry but I still love square jaws and muscles. You can have muscles and a square jaw and still have a sensitive side and kind eyes as well as empathy. My husband is great at this balance! But I’m a Millennial so maybe the soft boy thing is more of a Gen Z preference.
People these days are so black and white in their thinking. Just like there can be assertive women that "look" extremely feminine the opposite is true as well. We aren't boxes to be labeled.. we are humans with dynamic personalities.
Rather than putting it as soft boys substituting masculine man, i think it's about how the male roles have evolved all this years, from what i've seen soft boys have always been there, and masculine man are still there right now, the only difference is the audience that the movie makers are targetting, for gen-z kids it might be soft boys and for millenials it might be tough guys, the gradual shift is not only for movies, but shows how the mindset of society has changed with the acceptance that a guy can be both the captain of football team, and the guy who has a soft heart and is emotionally vulnerable too, more than the industry it's the depth of sight into characters that has grown, making us feel more relatable.
here’s the tricky part - toxic masculinity is caused by the pressure men face to be masculine at all costs. but it’s hard to quantify the pressure that causes toxic femininity. “femininity” seems to switch definitions every five years. for better or worse, the traditional definition of masculinity has remained almost constant. that’s my opinion, anyway.
@@abbiehoffman2921 I agree with your first statement. Aside from that, I feel many women also perpetuate (or imprint, at the least) the idea of "constant masculinity" onto their expectations of men. Moreover, I feel that both sexes mentally demand the "perfect" biological human, such as a man developing in the same environment as their primitive ancestors (which of course, progressively disappeared with the advent of industrialization). In today's time, I feel as if women want men to have that animalistic edge that they've had in the distant past, yet only when behaving as such conveniences women. Doesn't that sound manipulative? In your experience, do men not hold their own limiting expectations (of each other and themselves) from set-in-stone biological preferences (in part, from women)? I believe this is both consistently true and detrimental (at large) to men's self-esteem, since people are a product of their environment. Due to personal empathy, I grew up finding it far easier to be friends with women (than men). As I've aged, my perspectives have changed: I realize just how cruel men's societal expectations are. Same with its perpetualization from both sexes.
Finally. A lot of men in RL will usually possess a bit of both traits, but he "manly-man" jock-type was always a bit of a turn off for me, and glad Hollywood is catching on that the softer ones are far more appealing to many than they realized. In RL, this is not a new thing. Maybe some in the US and some other more macho cultures find them attractive, but many around the world, do not, and never have.
My friends and I used to laugh at the “manly man” caricature as they were created by 12 years boys projecting how they saw themselves (even though those characters were designed by men). “Manly men” are men designed for men. It’s the same as women wearing designer clothes - they’re showing off to their women friends, not to men. Manly men are showing off to other men. Constantly comparing themselves to make sure they’re really “men.” Men can be very masculine with tons of muscles and square jaws and they can be very masculine with slender builds and more quiet, thoughtful personalities. There are lots of kinds of men - and they’re all men. “Manly men” are caricatures, they’re not 3 dimensional humans (at least as they have been depicted) and they also define themselves in relation to women. Stronger than, braver than, smarter than... Whereas most men are great and masculine just being who they are, without having to compare themselves to anyone or “prove their masculinity.” Being the outdated 2D narrowly defined manly man must be so exhausting.
As a painfully-introspective young man, I can assure you that men's rigid societal expectations (perpetuated onto men by both sexes) is so mentally exhausting that it causes constant existential pain. That mental burden (of those rigid expectations, especially the failure of meeting them) often causes physical pain so overbearring, that it may lead men to suicidal ideation, if not outright suicide (consistently more violent and successful among men than women due to men's nature).
Wouldn't have shown a clip of 300 to represent toxic masculinity. In the movie king leonidas shows a brief moment of affection for his son, and looks to his wife for guidance and reassurance.
Why are you using footage of the protagonist of ‘You’, while positively asserting the image of a ‘soft boy?’That character is a psychopathic murderer. Not exactly a strong case for ‘soft boys.’
Hate to break it to. Trends change every year style is eternal. So is manliness as it is how nature designed it and when combined with femininity we get balance. Men should be men and women should be women. Everything that TV shows is not good for u. Try to be a better person.
There's absolutely nothing wrong with being a manly man. If anything, most women still prefer this over soft boys. Also, Timothee Chalamet looks like the soft boy version of Henry Cavill and Casey Affleck.
@@dolphina3794 Actually, you might be right. I apologize. I should have said most attractive women prefer manly men. In general, the most attractive women go for guys who are muscular, tall/not short, and tough-looking. The unattractive women will settle for the weak soy boys.
@@rolandserna7805 they're not "weak soy boys" they're JUST BOYS. Women attractive or not will love who they wanna love. There are literally 7 billion people in this world, people will act the way they wanna act and be what they wanna be. I don't know why there are still labels like this. Soft boy? Soy boy? wtf???? At the end of the day a boy will be his individual self. No two are the same. Videos like this suck because people like this have always existed around the world so why can't we just let them be? Damn
@@rolandserna7805 I find these statements so wrong in many ways because they're trying to imply that a man can't get anything good in life if they're deemed to be "weak" by society's standards. This is literally pushing the agenda that men can't be themselves. Not all men are meant to be masculine and mascular and THAT'S OKAY. We live in the real world, Roland, not in a movie. 7 billion people in this world, there would be atleast ONE PERSON who can truly love you for who you are. And NO, just because your true self is fragile, delicate, and feminine, that will not get you somebody unattractive. Everyone has their own standard of beauty, what may seem beautiful may not be beautiful for others. This is just some 1970's toxic macho man thinking. Not all men are meant to be what the standards think men are. Men will grow as their individual selves. Period.
@@M00NL9GHT attractive women will only go out with Chad Thundercocks. You gotta be muscular, masculine, confident, tall/not short, and maybe be a bit of an asshole. Maybe the less attractive women will settle for the more feminine men. If you believe in this whole “beauty is in the eye of the beholder” bullshit, then you’ve got a lot to learn. That’s just what unattractive people say to cope. The kind of women I’m into look like Dakota Johnson and Margot Robbie, not Lena Dunham. Do you think a woman who looks like Margot Robbie will settle for a weakling who looks like he can’t even protect himself? Maybe a frumpy bitch looking like Lena Dunham will settle for that, but that’s only after she couldn’t date a Chad.
Sorry, but this is a load of rubbish. You are analysing a fictional character and assuming them to be a real-life representation of the actor portraying them.
I think this skips over the fact that most men have both a soft side, and an aggresive side. Both are portrayed in media. Look at capitan america crying for Bucky, or Kratos mourning for Faye.
I’m so glad that the media has made this shift. I’ve always preferred the type of partner who can sympathize with my emotions rather than try to “fix me” to “save me”. This video czcams.com/video/rQIwHD_ITIo/video.html Explains it perfectly. How the media appeals to our evolutionary needs.
Most guys aren’t one or the other. Most men have a soft side and a more traditionally masculine side. Entertainment has never done a great job at reconciling this
Yuuuuup real life ain't that black and white.
As a man, I love feeling masculine but I also love being in tune with my feminine side as I take enjoyment in nurturing babies, puppies, and kittens. I’m also a hopeless romantic. It just feels weird to sometimes find myself in this paradox of masculinity and femininity.
Exactly. I know this sounds like non-advice, but just be yourself. I enjoy being feminine but sometimes like to be a total pig. Nothing wrong with fawning over cute animals and babies. It’s actually a good sign to women because it shows promise that you’d be a good father (Unless you already are, in which case you know)
@@ladystoneheart8155 I agree. But the tough side should be dominant.
@patrickhamilton7849
Honest question. Do you feel more comfortable with favoring the strong side or do you feel like you have to? Or a bit of both?
I understand why. My ex-sister-in-law would weaponize every little insecurity my big brother had. It was so damn sad.
There's nothing wrong with either uber masculine oosing testoterone or soft sweet boys who express their emotions a lot. I love both. It think we tend to lean towards an either-or like one is bad and the other good. Wrong. Every male has the right to express what being a man is to him. As long as he's being the kind and amazing person he's been called to be.
Exactly!
Timothée Chalamet is leading the charge for the Soft Boy in the Gen Z era alongside Tom Holland but there were many who came before him. Like Andrew McCarthy, John Cryer, Matthew Broderick, River Pheonix, Keanu Reeves & John Cusack of the 80's. Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise were the pretty boys of their era. Both had a softer side yet both had a traditionally masculine edge. Plus the Anne Rice Vampires looked ridiculously feminine. If any actor could be considered a soft boy the 90's it's gotta be Leonard DiCaprio. He had quite the androgynous edge to him in those days. For the 2000's it's Micheal Pitt & Tobie Maguire. Decades ago the Soft Boy would've been lumped in with the Nerd or the Pretty Boy type
totally, and let’s not forget Johnny Depp
@@abbiehoffman2921 How can we forget Mr. Depp. He was so versatile an actor, he was beyond categorisation. It's effortless to forget that Johnny D was quite pretty boy in his early career. It was in the 90s when he really became one of the biggest names on the silver screen.
Don't forget Heath Ledger. People thought that a pretty boy can't play a psychopathic villain
@@flatearthisahoax4030 Yet he ended up playing the most prolific Joker in comic book cinema history. I never considered Mr. Ledger in that soft man category even if he was on the pretty end.
I feel like K dramas have also contributed to this phenomenon
Toby mcguire . Spiderman was always soft and insanely popular always
It’s not just Toby all Spider-Man’s were soft that’s how he is
Timmy is more beautiful than most girls. He is very delicate.
Agreed
I’m sorry but I still love square jaws and muscles. You can have muscles and a square jaw and still have a sensitive side and kind eyes as well as empathy. My husband is great at this balance! But I’m a Millennial so maybe the soft boy thing is more of a Gen Z preference.
People these days are so black and white in their thinking. Just like there can be assertive women that "look" extremely feminine the opposite is true as well. We aren't boxes to be labeled.. we are humans with dynamic personalities.
@@user-rx7uh9mg4f agreed!
We need a black soft boys too. I would consider myself a soft girl.
🖖
I want that too
Tat karate kid guy will smith's son i forgot the name
@@yourvideoisboring2660 Jayden Smith
They can't be soft.. Black men are hard as alpha
Where is tom Holland in this
Or a young Leonard DiCaprio.
Rather than putting it as soft boys substituting masculine man, i think it's about how the male roles have evolved all this years, from what i've seen soft boys have always been there, and masculine man are still there right now, the only difference is the audience that the movie makers are targetting, for gen-z kids it might be soft boys and for millenials it might be tough guys, the gradual shift is not only for movies, but shows how the mindset of society has changed with the acceptance that a guy can be both the captain of football team, and the guy who has a soft heart and is emotionally vulnerable too, more than the industry it's the depth of sight into characters that has grown, making us feel more relatable.
men suppose to have a soft side within a masculine frame or it will turn into "toxic masculine"
When I saw Timothee chalamet in thumbnail I clicked. He is amazing actor
Totally agree with you! 💜
I’d rather look like Arnold Schwarzenegger than this.
everyone is true man until Brad pit from fight club walks in
When do we get to talk about Toxic Femininity?
here’s the tricky part - toxic masculinity is caused by the pressure men face to be masculine at all costs. but it’s hard to quantify the pressure that causes toxic femininity. “femininity” seems to switch definitions every five years. for better or worse, the traditional definition of masculinity has remained almost constant. that’s my opinion, anyway.
@@abbiehoffman2921 I agree with your first statement. Aside from that, I feel many women also perpetuate (or imprint, at the least) the idea of "constant masculinity" onto their expectations of men.
Moreover, I feel that both sexes mentally demand the "perfect" biological human, such as a man developing in the same environment as their primitive ancestors (which of course, progressively disappeared with the advent of industrialization). In today's time, I feel as if women want men to have that animalistic edge that they've had in the distant past, yet only when behaving as such conveniences women. Doesn't that sound manipulative?
In your experience, do men not hold their own limiting expectations (of each other and themselves) from set-in-stone biological preferences (in part, from women)? I believe this is both consistently true and detrimental (at large) to men's self-esteem, since people are a product of their environment.
Due to personal empathy, I grew up finding it far easier to be friends with women (than men). As I've aged, my perspectives have changed: I realize just how cruel men's societal expectations are. Same with its perpetualization from both sexes.
Notice how the soft boy is typically white/light skinned......
I wanna see soft boy black men
I used to be an emo soft boy? Am I still? I don't know? But I am happy about this anyway. Soft boys FTW!
I think Zayn Malik and Robert Pattinson are good examples of how you can be both a soft boy and a man at the same time.
Finally. A lot of men in RL will usually possess a bit of both traits, but he "manly-man" jock-type was always a bit of a turn off for me, and glad Hollywood is catching on that the softer ones are far more appealing to many than they realized. In RL, this is not a new thing. Maybe some in the US and some other more macho cultures find them attractive, but many around the world, do not, and never have.
What does RL stand for?
@@Senate300 real life ;)
@ cheers
@@Senate300 real life
this is also why Hollywood is going broke.
My friends and I used to laugh at the “manly man” caricature as they were created by 12 years boys projecting how they saw themselves (even though those characters were designed by men). “Manly men” are men designed for men.
It’s the same as women wearing designer clothes - they’re showing off to their women friends, not to men. Manly men are showing off to other men. Constantly comparing themselves to make sure they’re really “men.”
Men can be very masculine with tons of muscles and square jaws and they can be very masculine with slender builds and more quiet, thoughtful personalities. There are lots of kinds of men - and they’re all men.
“Manly men” are caricatures, they’re not 3 dimensional humans (at least as they have been depicted) and they also define themselves in relation to women. Stronger than, braver than, smarter than...
Whereas most men are great and masculine just being who they are, without having to compare themselves to anyone or “prove their masculinity.”
Being the outdated 2D narrowly defined manly man must be so exhausting.
As a painfully-introspective young man, I can assure you that men's rigid societal expectations (perpetuated onto men by both sexes) is so mentally exhausting that it causes constant existential pain. That mental burden (of those rigid expectations, especially the failure of meeting them) often causes physical pain so overbearring, that it may lead men to suicidal ideation, if not outright suicide (consistently more violent and successful among men than women due to men's nature).
Freddie highmore too
Wouldn't have shown a clip of 300 to represent toxic masculinity. In the movie king leonidas shows a brief moment of affection for his son, and looks to his wife for guidance and reassurance.
Theres a little independent movie that has may be the most important soft boy character of all time. You should chek it, its called Titanic.
Thanks! It's a great idea!
Teenage girls like these kinda boys for a little while until they get older , they want masculine strong men who are respectable 🗿
Why are you using footage of the protagonist of ‘You’, while positively asserting the image of a ‘soft boy?’That character is a psychopathic murderer. Not exactly a strong case for ‘soft boys.’
Hate to break it to. Trends change every year style is eternal. So is manliness as it is how nature designed it and when combined with femininity we get balance.
Men should be men and women should be women.
Everything that TV shows is not good for u.
Try to be a better person.
Amen.
What about tom holland..he is a soft cute guy too..
There's absolutely nothing wrong with being a manly man. If anything, most women still prefer this over soft boys. Also, Timothee Chalamet looks like the soft boy version of Henry Cavill and Casey Affleck.
i dont think most women is an accurate statement. some do and some dont.
@@dolphina3794 Actually, you might be right. I apologize. I should have said most attractive women prefer manly men. In general, the most attractive women go for guys who are muscular, tall/not short, and tough-looking. The unattractive women will settle for the weak soy boys.
@@rolandserna7805 they're not "weak soy boys" they're JUST BOYS. Women attractive or not will love who they wanna love. There are literally 7 billion people in this world, people will act the way they wanna act and be what they wanna be. I don't know why there are still labels like this. Soft boy? Soy boy? wtf???? At the end of the day a boy will be his individual self. No two are the same. Videos like this suck because people like this have always existed around the world so why can't we just let them be? Damn
@@rolandserna7805 I find these statements so wrong in many ways because they're trying to imply that a man can't get anything good in life if they're deemed to be "weak" by society's standards. This is literally pushing the agenda that men can't be themselves. Not all men are meant to be masculine and mascular and THAT'S OKAY. We live in the real world, Roland, not in a movie. 7 billion people in this world, there would be atleast ONE PERSON who can truly love you for who you are. And NO, just because your true self is fragile, delicate, and feminine, that will not get you somebody unattractive. Everyone has their own standard of beauty, what may seem beautiful may not be beautiful for others. This is just some 1970's toxic macho man thinking. Not all men are meant to be what the standards think men are. Men will grow as their individual selves. Period.
@@M00NL9GHT attractive women will only go out with Chad Thundercocks. You gotta be muscular, masculine, confident, tall/not short, and maybe be a bit of an asshole. Maybe the less attractive women will settle for the more feminine men. If you believe in this whole “beauty is in the eye of the beholder” bullshit, then you’ve got a lot to learn. That’s just what unattractive people say to cope. The kind of women I’m into look like Dakota Johnson and Margot Robbie, not Lena Dunham. Do you think a woman who looks like Margot Robbie will settle for a weakling who looks like he can’t even protect himself? Maybe a frumpy bitch looking like Lena Dunham will settle for that, but that’s only after she couldn’t date a Chad.
In the past, romantic is more soft
Sorry, but this is a load of rubbish. You are analysing a fictional character and assuming them to be a real-life representation of the actor portraying them.
I think this skips over the fact that most men have both a soft side, and an aggresive side. Both are portrayed in media. Look at capitan america crying for Bucky, or Kratos mourning for Faye.
When will the same happen for the leading ladies?
I always preferred "soft boys".
Too much soft boy is lamee. Young Matt Damon (like in Good Will Hunting) is just the perfect blend for me.
Hmm i really love this video essay, i feel like it could have studies about it. Great insights honestly 🤔
Timmy is real life prince charming.
Soft Boys are adorable and cute
Okay people, let's make this clear. STEVE HARRINGTON IS A SUPER SOFT GUY!!! He's just shown 'macho' in 1 or 2 episodes of S1
Sadly I'm one of the soft boys
That’s a good thing
It's miraculous
Actually You Should Have Seen The Leading Men In The 80s And 90s
Softboys>>
Oh you women know y'all love soft and tender pretty boy's
Yuck, no.
Dune ?
When speaking "soft men"... I think of Andrew McCarthy, Jon Cryer, Orlando Bloom, Toby McGuire...🤔
Brad and Tom cruise ❤
Thanks so much for watching 💜
I’m so glad that the media has made this shift. I’ve always preferred the type of partner who can sympathize with my emotions rather than try to “fix me” to “save me”.
This video czcams.com/video/rQIwHD_ITIo/video.html
Explains it perfectly. How the media appeals to our evolutionary needs.
5:20
Masculine macho man all day!!!!!!
Wasn't noah centino the one with the freaky snapchats that got leaked?
Hmm i really love this video essay, i feel like it could have studies about it. Great insights honestly 🤔