IT'S ALL ABOUT ME
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- čas přidán 14. 07. 2023
- This film is the culmination of 4 years of therapy and half a year of production. A special thanks to @IzaakThomasMusic for his musical talent, editing and animation. Thank you to @FDSignifire and @diwalicosmica for lending their voices.
IG: / itz_rainin_ben
NEW MERCH: sisyphus-55.creator-spring.com/?
PATREON: [www.patreon.com/user?u=3261155](www.patreon.com/user?u=3261155)
MUSIC: / @housecat00
TWITTER: [ / 5isyphus55 ]( / 5isyphus55 )
EDITING & MUSIC By HOUSECAT:
@housecat00 - Krátké a kreslené filmy
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one must imagine sisyphus happy
True freedom
Perfect comment
You made me laugh, but it felt weird
Camus was the first time I cried over a book
I always do hope he is happy. :)
This is such a human video. It is tragic, confusing, happy, sad, existential, yet beautifully relatable and inspiring.
I love that term, human video.
It’s satire
@@TerribleShmeltingAccident how
@@TerribleShmeltingAccident you did not watch the entire video, very very clearly.
@@FallenHero85 guilty
he pushed the boulder to the top of the hill guys. he did it.
keep going, ben.
and even if the boulder inevitably rolls down again, i feel like the wrinkle that has been subject to seemingly endless amounts of articulation- up and down and everything in between- will crease ever so slightly higher than any other time the boulder has reached the bottom of the hill.
it's almost as if he's happy
@@bargamentosamuelleoc.1299 beautifully put.
And he shall do it again.
We all will as we must find happiness in these small things
Who ever reads this you are doing well and I love your dedication to keep going.
Have a good day my friend
Awh
cheesed to meet you
"To be perfect is to not be myself."
This one hit home.
Literally me
The title of another video surely ,
I feel like there's something existentially terrifying about the literally me phrase ,
but I do think this video is relatable to alot of people there's a South African artist named Ed Young which seems to deal with similar tensions in a very intensely humorous way, there are some works which are just bizarre though 😅
Literally me fr fr
Same
He’s just like me fr
I cried at the end because we as people believe no one can relate to our suffering but we are all in fact so similiar
This is what art is, what you've made right here. Pain into beauty. What a beautiful person you are. I know some of your pain, I've been there. You aren't alone and you are beautiful inside. This outer expression is a shining beacon of your suffering and triumphs in spite of it. Thanks, man. I'll revisit this for years.
I think you mistyped, instead of fart u typed “art.”
A meditation on radical acceptance
“Love and fear cannot coexist. I fear myself therefore I cannot love myself” as someone who has constantly made huge mistakes in my life and am now living in fear that I’ll make another one, I felt this on such a profound level
Same. I know deep down I don't really love myself but at the same time I don't know what I fear about myself. Been a long journey of self discovery but I can't find it.
Dude your voice is so unique. Just something about the way you say things makes me feel a certain type of way. “Who I am is not a problem to be solved but a mystery to be experienced.” Holy banger.
If you like that quote you should read Dune. Frank Herbert has a lot of similarly good bangers, including that one.
His voice is so soothing. He could lull me to sleep, and the way he speaks just... offsets my anxiety. I don't even know how to explain it.
I feel like it must be some kind of (good) brainwashing to have such important information spoken to me in a voice like THAT.
And the quote is profound. This is what I mean.
i loved someone who struggled in a similair fashion as you did. to think they were worthless yet wanted everyone else to love them to prove herself otherwise. and when people saw through her, she pushed them away, thinking there was sumn wrong w us. she's self aware but she struggled to word her frustration, which led to even more frustration.
i wasn't strong enough to withstand the brunt of her (self-)destructive habits; not for long at least and left. but in hindsight i think this video really helps convey her frustration.
idek why i'm writing out this comment haha. no one's going to find it. maybe it's my characteristic optimism, she called it delusion. but maybe deep down -- i hope if there was only one stranger who scrolls into this it would be her. not just because i want her to remember me, but because if she found this comment, she'd have also found this beautiful hour long video that i think captures how she feels. along with the hope that this video provides her w any form of solace.
so i guess really, algorithm do your thing and push this to her ty lmao
I think peace will come for her too, you too
hope this makes its way to her
At least I read it.
Your comment made me tear up, so it reached someone who needed it. I hope it finds her too.
ive always felt a lot of your content isnt just to the viewer, but also to yourself, a reinforment of things learned and things still trying to understand, i always love that about your videos, the feeling that you are pondering with the same thoughts you present.
I never went into these videos expecting to get healed and my problems fixed - So I have never been disappointed by a Sisyphus 55 created video.
The endless speculation and deep dives into the psychology of man has and is still, endlessly entertaining and enlightening - and never portrayed as the absolute truth, just digging around to see what's what, and in that way you can never not come away from one of these feeling slightly more robust.
Self diagnosing and self therapy is not helping yourself. You are simply riding a wave of emotion he brought using words. I think you need an actual therapist, and you should listen to stories of elders.
@@scottiusnevious5143 I think we don't know each other well enough for you to go and make assumptions about what I need, but thank you anyway hehe.
And yet it might be the truest of truths, because it's the human experience.
Exactly but I find that it’s own solution
just 10 minutes into the video, and i can tell you, this is relatable to a scary degree.
Especially considering i'm from Buenos Aires. I know all the places you've shown on the screen.
I'm going through a similar problem. I get desperately lonely unless i have the attention of others. I can't conceive myself as worthy of love for a myriad of reasons, all of which i've been working all my life to try to "fix". And here i still am.
I no longer hate myself, but it's hard for me to say that i am happy with who i am. I try to, from a more logical side. I can quantify all my achievments, i've done a lot of good things, but they're not enough.
I'm afraid of making others uncomfortable, to the point where i can't tell a girl that she's beautiful, let alone ask her out.
I keep on in an infinite cycle of throwing solutions to my problems, and eventually giving up. I'm trying my best to be at peace with myself, but i feel like i need to be ashamed of who i am.
Try listening to unreleased Mac miller
@@MK-lz1bxmac miller solves all
🤲💛✨
Yea this video hit hard for me to, I can’t imagine the extra weird feelings seeing your home environment play in the background is lol
Where did your fear of making other uncomfortable come from? I have the same, and I often wonder that.
This is maybe the only youtube video ive continously rewatched and its both horrifying and enlightening to see how much i relate to this. Thank you for putting this into the world
seriously the best man. i’ve been watching your stuff since college. i’m 25 now making pizza in vermont. i have other aspirations, but i’ve been slow kicking them into gear, but that’s okay. i feel not so alone when i watch your stuff. it’s been really fun watching you and your channel grow. whether this is your last video or you continue to do this for 20 more years, i’m glad i got to experience your art and perspective on life. much love
Lol - you're kidding right? xD
Hi. I really like this video. Thanks for cr8ting it. I’m an alcoholic in recovery. I am an artist a single mom of 2 toddlers, survivor of domestic violence. I’ve been alone with my kids for 3.5 years. I relate a lot to your videos. And June 2023 I spent bathing in cold water bc I couldn’t afford to pay gas. I work for Amazon flex and back in college to be able to work as a k-12 art teacher. I like ur channel and your sense of humor. ❤ I relate to a lot of how you feel.
hope you can achieve your goals
Keep hanging on
Heya, Violet! I am so sorry you are going through this. I hope you are alright and will soon become balanced in life and in being. If you need any help or advice please reply. I am a 22 year old student in Romania and would love to help you if you need it. Have a great day!
more power and love to you and your family
"cr8ting" Lol - Irish Whiskey shall forever be your Friend :D
I tried saying ‘I love you’ to myself in the mirror. I got it out and immediately broke down into tears. I never cry. It felt amazing. I said it a couple times and then laugh cried at how hard it was to say something so simple and easy. I love me and I don’t care if you do! Wanna know why I don’t care? Because I love you too.
cringe and borderline mental colapse
this genuinely made me laugh thank you and i love you too!
@@tiagomoraes1510 yeah just about
❤
@@CptEmotionlessVODSthat is how we are
Thank you for being articulate and helping others like myself understand things that we normally never would. Sometimes its so hard to tell what's going on inside but you surveil it with ease
2:00 the song is Gyöngyhajú lány by Omega. Peace and Love from Hungary!😎✌️🇭🇺
I knew I had it on spotify somewhere but I forgot. Thanks!
You have helped me. This shit made me cry, there's a reason the comments are always saying this feels personal. This shit was so personal and thank you, you've made me realise some things about myself.
Unfortunately, I found myself at most points of this video. I cried most of it. You said everything i was afraid to hear but deep down knew was "true" about myself. Holy shit. I never could take myself to therapy, and I know I should, but I'm scared. Hopefully this year I finally will.
You can do it
As someone who has been in and out of therapy for most of my life, this channel has been better therapy for me than most therapists I’ve had lol.
Some are good tho.
🖤
Don't worry therapy is useless and most therapists have room temp iq, save your money
Why are you scared of addressing this within yourself?
@@xX-Frotnite-Player--Xx bcs it would be admitting that something is wrong with me. I don't like the idea of being the one receiving help. It's cyclical.
This video is about viewing yourself in full awareness. Its the beginning of journey into happiness.
this is awkward i thought i was the main character
No im the main character
humanity is doomed ...
@@nabri-nfg3262 SstaaaaHHhpppP it already - you guys are making humans (in general) look bad. Man-up Kiddo.
We are all the main characters in our own story
"Pre time skip luffy"
The part at 43:56 or so reminded me of this poem I read earlier this year: “Sure, there were times I was thankful for the cage; but what a life I would have lived if I had been free.” Really fantastic video, resonated with me immensely.
Do you remember the title of the poem or the poets name? I can't seem to find it
@@zachzaslavsky1139 Second this! Would love to know
I’ve felt so many of these conflicting thoughts in my life. I usually cap off my internal dialogue with “I’m overthinking it and should be ashamed of being so self centered” and it undoes all of my progress to find my sense of self.
I’ve been accused of being overly pretentious, wordy, and melodramatic.
Having my thoughts echoed through words makes me feel happy, in a more simple way. Thank you, ironically, I saw this video as completely selfless of you
In complete tears by the end of it. Ben, you are indeed a mirror. I turned 30 just a handful of weeks ago and the last 10 years of my life has been attempt after attempt to stay alive in a happy way. 3 therapists, many drugs both pharma and otherwise, hundreds of books, but namely only one relationship. It is now that I am coming to head with myself in a way I never have before. Forget a new chapter of my life, its like I picked up a brand new book, one that I wrote before I even existed, one that I wrote just for me, and now as I'm reading it I find myself wide-eyed wondering if I have always been this person the whole time. It's like I was trying too hard in all the wrong ways to do the least. I had never felt much anxiety or fear before this time in my life. All my emotions are on the surface, ready to emerge at a moments notice, even with no notice. I feel myself purging and purging, i cry almost everyday out of fear, regret, love, self-compassion, hatred, ecstasy, you name it. But what's blown me away is how I'm not afraid to show those emotions, the fear is in something else, something so deep I'm not even sure I have reason to fear.
Be well.
This sounds really posative ! I'm glad your happy and healing
30 is indeed a change. Just wish I had come to some of these feelings and realizations sooner in my life.
@@wd89601 very positive, all the struggle and hard work of my 20s paid off.
Just going to say that I'm envious of your ability to heal to the degree that you seemingly can.
Over the last 3 or so years, I have read over 100 books, yet, due to some sort of disorder that makes reading a massive pain, it's never truly brought me joy.
I'd trade any other issue just to be able to wake up and know that the act of reading won't bring me mental and sometimes physical nnoyance
@@cianbroderick7733 Lmfao - YOU are a star! reading brings you "physical nnoyance" - you summed up the whole video mate :)
In regards to your comment on "I need to be perfect": i was talking with one of my friends about this random debate within my friend group whether my hair was brown or blonde (its brown). He just simply replied with one of the most heartfelt and genuine comments I've ever heard: "I dont know. Your hair color isn't the first trait your friends think of when they're thinking about you." That simple comment told me that i was enough. No dramatic speech was needed. Just a genuine comment from a friend saying "you are enough". I dont need to be perfect. My close ones love me for being me. I like me for being me. I dont want to be perfect. I want to be me.
I would have been like all right bro appreciate that a lot but what about when you think about my appearance? like when someone comes across my mind i usually visualize them but i know not all people do that , idk definitely a nice thing to say but almost not related to the discussion at hand (not that he shouldn't have said it). not hating at all just kind of my first reaction.
@bugglemagnum6213 nah bro, you're all good. The feeling of being enough is what I found to be more important that the feeling of being perfect. Because it is possible to feel enough, but it will never, ever, be possible to be perfect.thats what that interaction taught me. If I can be enough for others, then I can definitely be enough for myself.
This video is tragic, painful, existential, weak, pathetic, beautiful, relatable, kind....many more adjectives that ultimately sum up to being human. This was my first exposure to sisyphus and I'm glad I found him. Great Video!
Pathetically brilliant…
Indeed - "weak"
Self awareness to me almost feels like you know more then should, it allows you to be so connected with yourself you realize your lack of importance and purpose, you are but a grain of sand on the eternal beach
I absolutely adore the bee and sunflower animation at 38:12
"Even ogers could tend to a beautiful garden "don't know where I remember this line from
Super late, but this is from Exurb2a's "The Answer is Not a Hut in the Woods"
@@headlesscentaur5343 my favorite CZcamsr too, love exurb1a and his second channel
This was great, love the random but coherent jumps in styles and narration
Just the opening 2 minutes are worth recognition in of itself. Sick video.
This video is art. I love how articulated you are and your words resonate so much with me. The different segments of the video replicating the types of youtube videos such as vlogs, lets plays, math lessons, etc. is such a cool idea as well. Your channel popped up for me during a rough time in my life a year or so back and ever since then I watch almost all of your videos religiously. You've really got something special here. You've got my validation (not that you should need it)
This is special, a literal peice of art. I also love the references
Thanks for being so open, for a a clear window into your thoughts and struggles.
I honestly love the way these videos are put together. The odd faded backgrounds look awesome.
i honestly believe this to be the most beautiful movie i’ve seen on this platform. great work as always
30 seconds in and I can already tell I need to get back to this at a later time because .. it’ll hit too close right now 😭 great work as always Sisyphus55 !
Im halfway through the video and you‘re speaking so many things out that I can relate to. Thank you for doing this and keep going, we all just struggle our way through life, some more, some less.
This is beautiful man, I appreciate your vulnerability and you putting yourself out there like this🙏
This was beautiful. Your videos really are art that speak to a deeper part of me. I resonated with this so much. Thank you, and best of luck to you and everyone on our journeys.
i love the the music in this video- especially that rearranged instrumental to "The Place Where He Inserted The Blade" towards the end. i almost cried
This hit way too close to home. I cried listening/watching this spectacle and I hate how I can relate to almost everything you've said in this video. I am currently in a very rough situation and this kind of made me understand what I am feeling right now. Seeing you understand and learn about yourself makes me think that I too will figure things out in my own time. Thank you for this it really means a lot.
The wavelengths on which this is relatable is beyond measure for me!!! But you did it mate, I can imagine a happy Sisyphus now
This is one of the few pieces of art that has made me feel truly understood and not alone in this world. Thank you for being vulnerable and making this.
i appreciate you making this. seriously. your videos have helped me with my mental issues for quite a while now and i wish all the best to you.
This really touched me. Ive been a sub for four years now, and it is really cool to see a video this intimate and reflective. It really makes me feel as though im not alone in my struggle. Thanks Ben.
This video is truly the definition of what being honest is, as far as you can get there.
The ammount of self reflection, but also commentary on said reflection and realization from that reflection is impressive, I really need some time to watch this one, there are so many topics in regards to feelings, expectations from society and self worth that this hits home.
I already held this channel in high regards, but this geniunely changed some outlooks I have on myself, my surroundings and what I just... do.
Thank you
this video really really calmed me, watching this video, i kinda wanted it to go forever, i really liked to think that "hey its not just me who's going through this shit, there are others too!" i dont know why it felt good but it did
This was an amazing video. I struggle the same thing with being vulnerable, myself, all that; even though I have everything I could need and other people go through much worse. Knowing that someone else is going through the same thing, and slowly getting better is comforting. It's making me question what's stopping me from thinking about it and doing the same. Thank you.
Can I just say your voice is super soothing and calm? I've been going through some harsh emotions of feeling lost, this video really calms me down
Dude i rarely comment on youtube videos and i wanna keep this short and sweet. This video was actually amazing man. Watching this made me smile and helped my well-being, seriously. This was just amazing man.
This is your magnum opus. Such an amazing, deeply thoughtful and impactful video. Thank you so much for sharing this with us. It definitely gave me a lot to think about and reflect on my own personal journey
your videos are always such a journey, i wish you good luck as you continue to tackle your life
thanks for this video, I didn't come into this video expecting anything really but I didn't realize how much it would hit me, it was as if you were naming out all the tendencies I have one by one, but thank you I think this video has helped me understand myself even only if a little bit more.
This is the video I've always wanted for someone to make. Just a person saying his thoughts out, not telling us what action he needed to do. Just pure Thoughts. Never have i ever felt this relatable to a youtube video and not skipping a single second in long videos. Hopefully you'll find that feeling of understanding yourself clearly. Thank you for this art, Sisyphus.
You can't start to imagine how relatable everything you said was. It's like someone was describing me and my view in life.
Thank you for making this video. One of the most important ones i needed to watch.
This is such a cool video, and it's really amazing how much your channel has grown! Your videos really hit me in the heart, and I've never found a channel so eye-opening and inspiring. Not just that, the delivery and simple style of your thoughts on such deep subjects really hit hard. Looking forward to what else you plan on doing in the future :]
What a wonderful hour of pure mental delight, loved this! Your videos also helped a lot with explaining philosophical and psychological concepts in a very simple and approachable way. Thank you.
It was 3 am where I live when I started watching and now it’s 6 am in the morning and I can’t stop thinking about this video. I’m moved by this piece of art that you have produced in the form a video. I want to feel happy aswell. I want to love myself. I hope I do find my true self someday.
Thank you for sharing. I admire you.
oh man, after seeing this, I dont know if I can say I can relate to you or not. You brought into words what I've been feeling throughout my life, but I know that we are not the same. This finally affirmed me that opening up one's self is the only way one can feel genuine love, yet I was always denying this even after reading Tuesdays with Morrie. Unfortunately, even if i want to open myself up to finally love and be loved, I can't because of fear.
This is simply one of the best thing made by a human i ever seen. Can't say anything but thank you, this is soul food.
This was beautiful and hit the feels. Your content has helped me through some insanely difficult times and I appreciate your commitment to your form.
Your “no face” reference hits very close to home. I don’t know any answers, but I will say, at some point it changed. It only took one person to see through it all. In reality it was many folks, but they all played a part. They all lifted me through the fog to see the beauty of the sun rise. I’m forever grateful, whether they know it or not, is somewhat irrelevant. All that matters is that it happened, and now I’m here.
Side note: was this all supposed to play out like a Wes Anderson film, or was that just me?
No no this... this whole thing, all of this.. It's all about me
Makes me feel hopeful. Thank you for the ride, and may it continue further.
This video really came out at the most perfect time for me. It feels like it’s everything I’ve been thinking and everything I needed to tell myself. Thank you
"Spectatorship of Suffering"
Thank you. Somebody finally said it.
I've never felt the need to fly some place to see poverty. We have plenty.
I've never felt the need to fly some place to feel like the foreigner. I feel alien enough in Walmart.
I see you my friend. Being vulnerable with your feelings of depression and anxiety with another is hard. If you want to express your love loudly to another, you must look for them, and you must be ok with discomfort. The journey is long, and sometimes full of horrors. You must find a way to throw your throwness into another. I find that viewing every person as a universe in themselves is a good way to keep faith in others, and the possibility of finding one to sink into completely!
All the best to you, all of it!
Your videos helped me get through a very selfdistructing period of my life and now you reveal not only yourself but parts of us all on another level of understanding. I thank the universe you exist.
i have been watching this video over a course of two days. i find myself relating to every single thing said (i just got back from a trip myself which i thought would give me some solace from whatever i’ve been dealing with) i cannot express in a youtube comment section how much not only this video, but you as well has meant to my life. i’ve been subscribed for a while, watching your videos for almost two years. seeing such a deeply personal and vulnerable side of someone who i know nothing about truly inspires me to make some genuine change. thank you sisyphus 55
You are literally my favourite channel on CZcams and this was an incredibly heartfelt and vulnerable video to watch. I'm in awe of your bravery
I've been a viewer of this channel for years on my normal account. It has helped me somewhat grasp how and why i'm feeling. I might not be here without it. This video spoke to me like none of your videos beforehand. I'm at my lowest point, but this has been what i needed to see. i feel hopeful. thanks man.
Hey, good luck and stay strong. I may be a stranger online but I’m rooting for you, genuinely.
Thank you for everything I started watching you when I first started going to therapy I found comfort in your videos due to the fact I felt the same way. I’ve been feeling better with my 5th try of medication. I was at a very low point before and had negative coping mechanisms idk what I’m trying to say anymore but thank you
Excellent video. Not much else I can do but nod my head in agreement and say, “yeah, it do be like that,” but also I do feel very seen and heard through your videos. Thanks, Sisyphus.
Also, great cover of Omega at the beginning. I’m gonna have that stuck in my head all day
I already love it
The representation of F D as living tree is wonderful
I love this video. It resonated with me very strongly. I've had similar recurring thoughts to yours over the last three years. I think the meme in the beginning with the text "My biggest fear is that eventually you see me the way I see myself." is one of the hardest possible mindsets to overcome. I'm not even close right now, but I'm trying. I guess that's all we can do.
A masterpiece! Thanks for making this
Im glad I spent my lunch break overthinking my own life
real
This is one of your best videos this far. Loved it. Thank you for sharing
I’ve gotta say, this really describes a lot of my mentality too. I always expect the worse out of something trying to test out the waters, I’d rather feel secure in failure than insecure in progress. A lot of the time I realize it’s not as bad as I thought, I try things for the first time and find out it wasn’t all I drummed it up to be. It’s a very reassuring thing but sometimes it still leaves me waiting for the time things go wrong, honestly don’t know if I should just go with things or actually seek discomfort
I just really liked this video. I hope the future is kind to you.
Thank you Sisyphus
This was a highly introspective and vulnerable creation. Thank you for sharing!
What a brilliant video, amazing thought structure and production. This is art
I think this was the most personal insight I have seen on CZcams so far. I will have to watch it again to really comprehend it because it feels significant to me. So here you go. Here is your bit of attention, you had mine.
Take care of yourselves internet strangers.
We will always support you. Keep working hard to achieve your goals.
i find myself coming back to you channel often. i cant help but draw parallels between your videos and bojack horseman- the jiggly stickman and the alcoholic cartoon horse give me the vocabulary to talk about my life and experiences. on my darkest days, your videos provide refuge and on my best days, your videos let me bask in the sun.
thank you, youtube stickman
I’m incredibly stunned by how honest you can be. There’s so much purity here, and I see a lot of myself here. Thank you so much for your bravery
It's such a crazy confusing world out there, but it's sometimes nice to remember that we're all trying our best to figure it out together
Also the style of the animation hit hard
this really helped me give words to my inner despondency. everyone's experience is different but we're never truly alone in our struggles ❤❤
That was beautiful. The way you put a lot of it really helped me understand better how I felt. And the video looked and felt great. Thank you, and good luck in life.
I can deeply relate to what you put out in this video . I have never felt so touched so intemetly by any piece of media . You are good at this . Be happy Sisyphus , stop Imagining it
I think this is my favourite youtube video
Absolutely beautiful, I'm glad you shared this.
I clicked on this video out of pure curiosity and for the first time in a long time, I felt understood. Thank you for sharing