Reaction to The Minimal Mom "I Quit" video
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- čas přidán 7. 07. 2024
- Today I react to the Minimal Mom (my twin sister Dawn's) video about things she quit doing. Number one is lying. So let's talk about that and why "you're yes should be yes and you're no should be no!"
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As Phoebe from Friends once said, “I wish I could, but I don’t want to.” Lol
My daughter is the church secretary and she and I often have to recruit helpers for various projects. All we need is for people to say yes or no, we don't need excuses and we certainly don't need people not showing up when we were counting on them. We can't do everything either , so just say yes or no and then we can know if we can count on you!
Oh man, I was the computer coordinator at my church for a season… this is REAL! Good input ☺️
Yes, I often cordinate volunteers, and a yes or no is a perfect answer.
My grandma always said, "There are the pillars of the church and the caterpillars of the church." 20% of the people do 80% of the work. 😅
@@KlingonPrincess yes and true for other groups, much better to say yes or no and stick to it
”Let what you say be simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’; anything more than this comes from evil.“
Matthew 5:37
Saying "no" has always been difficult for me. One of the pastors at my church told me one time, "When you say "yes" to one thing, you're saying "no" to everything else." That helped me learn that it's not wrong to say "no" when something more important may need to be a "yes".
Now we know why "the quiet generation" was so quiet. They didn't share everything because it would often cause distention, feelings, etc. especially to the younger generation who wasn't mature enough to understand the information. I used to be an open book, I've since learned things and the meaning of "loose lips sink ships".
An older, wiser friend once told me that "no" is an answer. No reason needed. I always thought I needed a reason, so at that time of life I had committed to wayyy to many things and was losing my mind.
I learned.
And trust me, no is enough.
The problem is that many don’t just accept the no. They ask for a reason. And this is where I start to hedge/lie.
I had to teach my husband that he doesn’t have to “justify” taking vacation time with what he was going to do. It’s not their business. He earned the time.
This is huge! I'm convinced & have been for a while now. Especially lies of omission which is deception. I thank you & Dawn for being so transparent & for bringing this conversation to the forefront.
This was a perfect follow up to Dawn's video. Hers started me thinking about lies, yours helped me with making sure I say no when I need to. More videos like this would be great.
Thanks for the encouragement! It was fun, even if we couldn’t be in the same room 😉💛
I like your comment, Diana, about integrity! I often said this very thing to my sons when they were growing up, especially during their ages 10 - 18. They are now 48 & 46, they do indeed have integrity. I'm grateful to God they heard Him through me. ♡
Thank you for speaking on little lies. I find myself in the medical field feeling guilty of “white lies” or agreeing to things I later wonder why I agreed with, etc, and it’s simply being dishonest in my inner self. Also- gossiping about something I agreed to keep confidential- even though it may be within family- is still a lie! So thank you both for reinforcing!!
Thank you! Let my YES, be yes and my NO, be no ✝️
Thank you so much Diana ! Lying is what the adversary loves because his only true power is deception
You’re such a good teacher.
Hi Diana, thank you for the gift of this message. You and your sister have been a blessing to my life’s journey (the past 2 years) to healing after an abusive marriage/relationship of 30+ years. Thank you for all you do, I have found that it takes His courage and His strength to walk forward in this life. A life where none of us are immune to pain and suffering regarding the trials of this life. May God Bless you both as you rise up together and proclaim his love for us. In His Name We Pray! Amen. With ❤️🙏, Melissa from Chicago.
Melissa, thank you for sharing… I know a lot of people can relate to this. Praying right now that the Lord will continue to lead you in strength and healing… many blessings and love 💛
Thank you, this was an answer to a prayer I hadn't even prayed yet!
I would say yes to attending things because I didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings. I had to learn that my feelings are just as important as anyone else. Love your neighbor AS YOURSELF. Very important to remember the 'as yourself' part. Declining kindly does not make you a bad person. God bless. xoxo
I love❤, love hearing those sweet “coos” in the background! Mine are all adults now. It goes SO fast! God bless your family.🥰
One of my favorite quotes: "This above all, to thine own self be true, and it must follow as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man." - Shakespeare. TFS ❤
My husband and I were just talking about this earlier this morning. We don't need to sware to anyone we will do something if we live our lives with integrity and be a dependable person who always does what they say they'll do. I want to be that person! ❤
Great video!!! I'm really trying to give myself 24 hours before I agree to do anything, it helps a lot.
Very good reminder on this subject. God has been convicting me for commiting to things and not following through. I'm smarter now after this teaching! Thank you
Diana you are such a loving sister! We are on the 4th generation of trying to teach our families to “Let your yes be yes and your no be no.” My mom always said that growing up and at the time I never knew it was actually in the Bible. All I knew was that her parents always said it to her, she said it to me and I repeated it to my children in the hope that it would be passed on to their children. I was at a Bible study when I was in my 30’s when I saw it in the Bible and I couldn’t believe my eyes 😮 sometimes the Lord works in mysterious ways. Little lies can hurt sometimes just as bad as a big lie. You are so right about integrity as well. Thanks for all you do to keep us honest and moving in the direction the Lord intended us to in the first place.
Your story made me smile. My parents used to say that all the time too. They constantly quoted bits of scriptures, and that included "Let your yes be yes and your no be no". I doubt a single day went by that I didn't hear some bit of scripture being used as a teaching tool, and those come back to me all the time now and guide my actions. It's such a blessing to have had parents who instilled scriptures in our hearts without us even realizing they were doing it.
They used to be called “little white lies,” and people thought “it’s just a little white lie; it won’t hurt anyone.” But like you said, it hurts you. It hurts your own self integrity and it builds mistrust. Walked that path and it is so destructive. I think part of the destruction is that it becomes normal for you and no one ever finds out. So you’re living with your sin and it doesn’t get called out. Thanks for sharing this with us.
I always told my kids the truth. Will it hurt? Yes i think it will. But my kids knew as they grew older that mummy didn't lie no matter how hard telling the truth was.
This is awesome. Thank you!!
I am dying here! I was just about to send you a msg and say that you and Dawn look like twins! Then I saw your little blog underneath and burst out laughing!!🤣 I struggle with the "white lies" to avoid hurt feelings but lies are so difficult to keep hidden
❤😊thank you!
Truth!❤😊
Such a Blessing. ❤
Thankyou for your guidance Diana 💖
Thank you, Dawn & Diana...♡
❤I really loved this video!!
Lovely message and lovely prayer !
I had to learn to say "no" to things when I became overwhelmed.
This is so very good. Thank you for taking the time to share.
Great video, I love everything about it.
No no no. Guilt free NO.
Great video ❤
Diana, thank YOU for this video. It was uplifting and encouraging to wake up to and set my day right with.
I love watching both you and your sister. young mom of 3 boys and fellow believer here! you have so much wisdom!
My problem is my friends don’t accept “no” very easily. They want to know why. And then refute my reasons. I need unrefutable responses when I don’t WANT to go out on Sunday night. This is a big problem for me right now. I feel terrible HELP
How honest are your being when you tell them you don't want to go?
I ask because I have noticed in myself often a habit to say I don't want to because XYZ, when actually 'I don't want to, thanks for asking though' is a full sentence.
If they are then still trying to cajole you, it could be that they themselves are not at a stage where they feel able to say no so plainly, and so may be adding a narrative to your no (if that makes sense?). Some people say no when they mean I'm scared, or lonely, or anxious, or simply want attention and want to be pressured into going.
They may be projecting their own style on to you
Don't forget it's ok to do things you don't want to do for the sake of pleasing others. Perhaps you should say no, but it could be easy for this principle of "being honest" to turn into simply being selfish. We must not forget to make sacrifices for others. Just be careful in how much you commit to.
I really appreciate how you broke this down and tied in Dawns message as well! ❤
Your prayer over your sister at the end 🥹❤️.
Haha I had watched that video and even when I saw your thumbnail I thought WHAT? Both great videos, I need to stop lying to myself and actually start eating healthier.
Thank you for this video. It definitely made me feel better about a relationship of my own. I am a type of person that will only commit to something if I'm certain I can do it and the only thing that would stop me from not following through would be a true emergency. I have a close friend who over commits and lies a lot of times and I started taking it personally and felt hurt by it. Your video has made me see that her actions don't say anything about me and more about her issues.
I can so relate! I appreciate your honesty and humility, @dianakokku! At first I thought, “I don’t have a problem telling people no”, which I don’t but there are times when I have told them yes even though I don’t really want to do whatever is being asked of me so I will then be saying, “I’m not feeling that great today” and whoever will, of course say, “Oh, don’t worry about it” when I could have just done it and in the end I would have felt good in the end. Dawn’s video was a good reminder for us to really think about what is really important to us in our life and like she said, “Who do I want to be?” You guys are so awesome! Thanks for the wise words!
Yes.. Don't say yes in the first place.
My ladies Sunday school class is beginning the study"Me, Myself and lies by Jennifer Rothschild in the morning. This video was perfect timing. The Bible study is all about the closet of our own thoughts. Thanks for sharing
I love the reaction video about your sister 😂❤ But seriously, always love your perspective. I actually commented on her last point. 🤷♀️
Oh my goodness how I needed this! I need this so so much! God help me I pray we all grow in this area! Thank you again!
God revealed while you were talking INtegrity starts with IN …. In side us God is where you want to do this work!
Both of y’all’s videos really got me thinking. I have always thought I never lie. But I’m also a big people pleaser. I got to thinking about how many times I have tried not to hurt someone’s feelings and bent the truth. I am going to really focus on my yes being yes and my no being no. I want to be honest and straight forward with people.
I think the most frequent lies are told in response to, “How are ya?”
That's a really tough one because I hate to weigh others down with my issues but I don't want to lie either. If I'm doing ok, I say so; if I'm not, I'll generally say something like "I'm kinda struggling today but God is faithful." Or, to someone who's not a believer, "... but God is taking care of me." And I always follow quickly with "And how are you doing?" That puts the ball back in their court. If they want to talk about stuff, I"m always open to it. If not, I totally understand and we move on. It can still be a little awkward sometimes though. Super tricky.
I was always told to tell the truth especially when asked why. If we answer the question with yes or no we don’t need to give an excuse.
Ooooh Lord , yes THANK YOU for this time with beautiful Diana !
Wonnnderful video, & powerful, healing prayer, Diana !!
Hi Lizz!! We just got back from a walk and Caden’s snuggly blue blanket kept him all warm and tight!! I always think of you when I see it. And he’s almost able to grab Cora’s Sophia giraffe toy… I sure hope you’re well and thank you for you kind words!! 💛💛💛
You do great 🎉 but my favorite is listening to you talk to our Heavenly Father!
Thank you ❤
Love both you and don and thank you so much for this video. I too Have been trying not to fall into those little white lies. Dawn's video was fantastic. And how you expounded on what you shared I So much look forward to what you share and how the Lord Has me take and look my own life. I find so many times in the past. I have overcommitted. I am trying to be better.
Almost 30 years later - the one and only youth group talk I remember as a teenager, was the leader talking about lying by misleading, omitting or other types of misinformation. It still sticks with me and helped me to be more aware of not lying, long ago. And now, even although I am in my mid-fifties and living in the UK, and the youth leader is in New Zealand (we were both originally in South Africa), we are still in contact!!!!! I've since developed the reputation for being a bit blunt in speaking my mind .😁😁🤦♀🤦♀🤷♀🤷♀
Diana. Thank you so much for this video. It soooo spoke to me. I am going through a tough season right now so this concept is more important than ever. Yes is yes. No is no. Jesus really does have the answers.
That scripture is the basis of why Quakers don’t swear (many times, swear on the Bible) in legal courts. I am so thankful for you and Dawn, you are both a blessing from God in my life!!!💚
That’s true! A very literal translation is to never (ever) take an oath. And I’m so grateful to be on the journey with you ☺️💛
Good video!!!!!
Oh my gosh you two 😭 🫂 💕 🤩😇😘🧎🏻♀️☝🏼💪🏼🙏🏼🙌🏼
Set your boundaries and be honest with yourself when you do. Use wisdom with your words. The Bible talks about in James the tongue cannot be tamed. A heart change is needed that will bring about that wild tongue change! Thank you for this.
Dishonesty is so insidious. Honesty was hugely important to my parents and they taught us the value of it from day one. I therefore am deeply instilled with a strong commitment to it and I do endeavor to be honest in all things. But even with all that, I have to be constantly diligent to prevent little untruths from slipping in almost without my notice. In certain situations I find subtle "little" lies ready to slip out of my mouth without even thinking about it and I actively have to stop them, or my first impulse might be to keep my mouth shut when the honest thing is to speak up, and I have to make myself do it. The very first sin on earth was a sin of sly dishonesty ("Did God really say that?"), and to this day it's one of the slipperiest things we have to guard against.
Most of the time when I say yes to something I don’t really want to do is to please others. I don’t want them to think badly of me. That said, I did stand in the mirror and practiced saying no when I was a single mom with three kids and a full-time job. My dad’s mantra was “keep your word”. When you determine to keep your word you are more careful about giving it.
Thanks you for this!! Good to ponder and ask myself if im doing this. I get the treat for one child ...we had our daughter about 9 years behind. So she goes with me a lot on errands and its so easy to get a little something for her which i dont think I'd do if I had several more tagging along with me...at least not near as much with me. 😂
Thank you for this, I really enjoyed it.
I’m very strict when it comes to not lying.
As a Latter-Day Saint/Mormon one of the questions we are asked during the temple recommend interview is if we are honest & I strive to live worthy of this.
The only time I struggle with this is when someone asks me if they look good in something or about their hair etc & they don’t, I don’t know what to say as I don’t want to hurt their feelings.
Just curious, how do you handle things like Father Christmas & the Easter bunny with your children? Because I feel that this is lying to children.
I always say, “No, that won’t work for me.” The end.
no is a complete sentence, m husband does the lying, he’ll ask what do i tell them ? i’ll suggest no, we can’t make it….and he’ll come up with excuses, like we’re sick…i don’t like pretending i’m sick, it’s work to get him to just say no. 🤦♀️
When my kids were little I told them that it was against the law for kids to chew gum unless they were 5 and sorry there was nothing I could do about it🤣 I had 3 in 4 years so I just didn't have the bandwidth for gum int he hair! We also set the clocks ahead to midnight on New Years and rang in the New Year on TV with the UK so we could still get them in bed at a decent time. Still don't regret that one and they thought it was hilarious when they were like 12 and we finally told them!
Diana what do we do when someone tells us something and says don't tell then someone says did she tell u? Ugg
My 13yo son (named Caden 😊) just had to put this lesson into practice last night. He had been on a band field trip all day and realized on the way home at 9pm that he'd forgotten to print and turn in his English research paper that was due. He'd worked all semester on it, did a great job and it was all ready to go. It's worth 4 test grades and now the max he can get is an 85 turning it in a day late. He had to own his mistake, email the teacher and apologize, not make excuses which might be bending the truth, and accept the consequence, which will likely mean a B for the quarter or semester. He's a smart, conscientious kid, so that's tough for him, but I'm glad for him to practice honesty now in 7th grade and get through it to reinforce the importance later when stakes are higher.
Tough for my little perfectionist heart, too, as a mom 🙈.
Hi Diana, I looked at your website but didn’t see what time the lessons are on Saturdays. I want to sign up but have a commitment on Saturdays so time will make a difference. Also, if not available because you are out of town etc are there ways to watch listen through recordings?
Lies of omission. I think most of us are guilty on that one. Thanks, Diana and Dawn.
Diana, can I please ask you to pray for my husband and I? Our marriage is very rocky and we are both experiencing hurt and don’t know how to fix things.
Thank you ❤❤❤
You both look alike!!
They are twins! 😂
Is it possible not to lie ? Is it possible not to kill? Is it possible not to steal?
All things are possible with God! Without Him, we are nothing and cannot live as we should!
@@Kmw316 Our faith is helpful ; Its our intention that matters . We studied these three questions in our spiritual studies
.we all were so suprised when we all analised our selfs , mostly we lie to ourself . We dont think before we make promises
We are so good at reconising the faults in others . Diane is a wise spiritual teacher
The little foxes!
Could you change "you're" to "your" in "you're yes should be yes and you're no should be no"?
so ya'll tell your kids that there is no Santa no easter bunny, no tooth fairy; ect? we just had this conversation at a family dinner the other day;
This is an extremely hard decision for a lot of people, and for good reason. I don't have kids but I can tell you my parents told us ABOUT those things, and presented them as fun little pretend games, but never told us that they were really real. Like, they would say "Ooh, the tooth fairy's coming tonight!" and we'd have a good laugh about it, knowing full well that it was our parents but still having fun with the game and knowing we'd get a little treat. We thought of them sort of like characters in stories, for lack of a better analogy, and I don't feel like I missed out on any of the enjoyment at all. That's just my perspective, though. Everyone is different!
So no Santa, etc
We never said to our kids their was a Santa and I always said if my kids ask me if he’s real I’ll say no. Well my kids on their own started to believe in Santa and for years they did but the moment they asked me if he’s real I told them the truth, same with tooth fairy all of it. My kids right away asked me if the others were real so they never believed in anything but Santa.
You think you look like your twin sister, but you look like Angela from this gathered nest. 😊
Are you pregnant again yet?
Rude
So, you were actually feeling perfectly fine and you were going to lie that you thought you were coming down with something? If this is true, I find that so disheartening. Ugh. Now I have trust issues with all of humanity. I don't get lying. 😢
No she was not fine saying that lie. What Diana said is that the thought crossed her mind as a lot of people feel that excuse is acceptable by not intentionally hurting the other person and it leaves a way for other party to agree as they don’t want to get sick, BUT she went on to say that she could not say the lie and ended up honoring her commitment. Only one person was perfect - we are all human and trying our best to overcome our human faults. All of humanity does not routinely lie.
@@drdtexanI'm glad she changed her mind. But she had actually started typing out the lie in a text. That's the part that bothers me and makes me wonder if I am rather alone in how honest I am. Because I just wouldn't text someone that I'm sick if it weren't true. Maybe people lie more than I'd like to think.
@@drdtexanAlso, I meant "perfectly fine" healthwise, not morally. I thought perhaps she was exaggerating an illness, which is more understandable than a straight out lie.
Hi Diana, I looked at your website but didn’t see what time the lessons are on Saturdays. I want to sign up but have a commitment on Saturdays so time will make a difference. Also, if not available because you are out of town etc are there ways to watch listen through recordings?