I went no contact for twelve years due to lying cheating and general abusive behaviour. I went back in to try again and received more of the same, if not worse. They are unbelievable and think their victims are going to take as much crap as they care to chuck.
The acceptance of simply being used was HARD!!! It really was. But once I got it, it all made sense. Because I too looked at their history. And I am not the only one. I was simply the one who stayed around the longest. Thus far, anyway. But this is their pattern. Their way of life. I was used because I was available to be used. I wasn’t aware of the existence of such an individual. So my genuine intentions, concern and love for them left me wide opened. When I assess my life, I realize now, THEY, are not the only narcissist I’ve ever known. They’re just the worst of it’s kind. It’s like all the others were prepping me. I think that’s why it was easier for me to hang in there because that poor behavior was all too familiar. But NOW? Oh now I KNOW!!!! And I KNOW this form of parasitical being will never get remotely close to me again. #LessonLearned
I grew up as one of five children of a raging narcissistic mother. She really thought that, as the middle child and oldest daughter, that it was a "daughter's duty" to take care of her when she got older; that's what HER oldest sister did, who fortunately escaped into a successful late- in-life marriage. My mother had mental-health issues besides NPD; she accused me of being "vain" and "selfish" and absolutely detested fat people; onto them and her children, she projected the very worst of herself. She denied EVER being jealous of her daughters' burgeoning beauty, but she took care to sabotage any sense of empowerment we derived from our beauty. She always told me that I was "no good at practical things," but I consistently went to the top of the class, was an excellent typist and to this day am an ace freelance writer/researcher/tutor/home-maker. She never learned to type, for example. Her judgment about my perceived lack of capabilities ruled my life for decades. She had good qualities, too, I learned to incorporate them. My mother died in 1995; I've forgiven her. I have refused to live out the pages of her largely self-serving life!!!
I had a stroke 3 yr ago, and i new that something was off about my wife. I have always notice the unnessasary rage over 21 yr. To avoid problems i stayed busy working all the time. When she came home from work i was on my way to work. I had to retire due to the stroke and i was able to to see the thruth about my wife. In the rehab, I notice how she was staring at me while i was getting therapy. She was always rushing me to get better. I was paying bills using my cellphone barly able to see. The vibe got so bad that i wanted her to go home, but she stayed just to see if i was going to get better. As soon as we got home she complaned about helping me, saying things like I DIDNT SIGN UP FOR THIS she wasn't acting like a caring wife. Long story short. my life has been a living hell. Everything in your videos I've experienced it. Now that i have recovered a little from the stroke I'm coming up with a exit plan. THANK YOU
You will heal much faster alone. Make sure you use meet up or another social forum to meet people and have social support. They make us feel awful when we are less than perfect, yet they were the ones making us sick. Her toxic behavior probably contributed to your stroke. Get well without her. You will meet a wonderful woman once you shut the door on the demon. Take care.....truth beauty love and healing are on the way...
The battle between good and evil is fought on the front lines between empaths and narcissists. For this is not a battle of the conventional kind, using guns and cannons and warplanes on high. For this battle is fought in the hearts and minds of all who wish to go there. All those who will dare. To fight on these front lines is not for the faint of heart, or for the weak of mind...
I don't get why some think your comment is funny. ( lol ) ?? Be diligent, stay safe and stay no contact. It'll be the best thing that you could do for yourself.
It's the worst being an object to a narcissistic mother. I feel like that's the lowest blow of them all. Truly. Not trying to invalidate anyone else's experience. But the fact that a mother can just drop her child and move on like they're nothing is just beyond comprehension.
Yep, I grew up with a narcissist mother as a scapegoat. It has terrible effects on one's entire life when we are invalidated so blatantly, in the face of a golden-child sibling. I just went no contact - could have done it decades earlier if not for the infantilization. Despicable behavior with life-long effect.
the51project I’ve only had narc partners..can’t imagine having one for a parent but I still think being a the scapegoat child is better than being groomed to be a narc yourself..hang in there & be thankful for the empathy we have..tc
I am a scapegoat of a narcissistic mother.. I have finally gone no contact with her after 40 years of abuse. It's never her fault and always something I did, whether I was physically there or in a different state... My heart couldn't take the rejection from my own mother anymore, the pain was unbearable. I am still healing as it's only been 5 months. I know I am doing the right thing, however it's the person that I was Soo longing for from her as a mother, that I guess after cutting all ties I have lost all hope that she will ever be a mother to me. That's what I am truly upset about.. I have discovered the absolute truth and that's,that she will never be a mother to me. It's very hard to wrap my mind around how she can just disregard me as I am a mother of two myself. I have worked very hard to over come any tendencies from her, so that I don't do that to my own children. I also remind my husband that if anytime I represent my narcissistic mother's behavior he is to stop me in my tracks. Emotional abuse and physical abuse isn't anything that you can ever really really heal totally from. However you can find better ways at realizing you don't have to be the doormat to the abuse anymore.
I used to be so drained that I sought out an Chinese medical doctor who used to do a procedure called the "four gates" (four acupuncture needles placed)to completely open myself back up to the inflow of universal energy. I would go back, and immediately he would drain all my life force out to the point that I would be bedridden. The doctor told me to stay away from people like that. Also, the qigong guy I was working with was a Native Chinese man and he told me to "stay away from people with heavy karma". Such good advice that went unheeded!
persiamotorman ur comment is interesting...I have been living with handicapped person off and on for the last 16 years and now I have just been feeling drained to the point of not wanting to get out of bed some days...I have to believe in myself again but it's just depressing being here and now I am not even working...please pray for me and I you
persiamotorman Absolutely, stay away!! We the survivors, tend to underestimate the powerful negative energy of a toxic person, so more reason to trust our instincts and intuition and stop downplaying the destruction of our hearts, minds and health when dealing with these inhumane beings.
Megan Anderly: genetic encoding in the ancestral DNA, plus past life soul agreements, psychic ties, chains, and bonds. Vows, from this and other incarnations, karmic trespasses, ect. Full transmutation of all of that, and soul, Spirit, essence, retrieval requiered, to dissipate and erase all karmic energies, of retribution cycle loop. Connect with Source Creator God Love-Light, and take back what is yours by divine right, you were sucked into deception, to give away your own precious vital lifeforce. Cut, sever, and release all which is No longer of service or required for your own highest good, now, call on your Spirit Team, Holy Spirit, ect. for assisting you, in your own power and authority. SHIELD AND PROTECT YOUR OWN LIFE.
I can't help but laugh now that I understand this behavior and put it all together. It makes more and more sense each time I play back an incident or memory from that experience. It really is pathetic. You've been educating me hardcore. It's amazing.
Dear Petra, your existence and knowledge give me hope. The damage I've suffered in silence and shame from my ex narc has had long term effects on my emotional&physical health. If I didn't get out of this abuse, I wouldn't be writing to you now. It's a dangerous, sometimes a near death experience especially for empaths, highly sensitive people. For people like me who have experienced epilepsy as children, stress and toxicity might be a very destructive force. I appreciate your hard work cause it saves lives. Thank you🍀
Kay 100 I am so sorry to hear what you have been through. The energetic and emotional poison that is deposited into us is REAL. So happy that you are out of that war zone and that you are honouring your own feelings and true worth! Much love to you
Yes it makes perfect sense. I would always say to him I feel like you are using me. I feel like you are only using me for rides or something. I also would sense that he would always want to make himself look good while we were in public. He wanted to look like a perfect and happy couple. I couldn't put my finger on it until I started watching videos like these. They were my saving grace.
I was used sorta the same way taking his worthless ass to work every day and wasn't helping me with a damn thing but always causing issues with us and I started to pull away plus he was an functional alcoholic and when I really started setting boundaries and stop doing for him he had used me to the point to get his truck fixed and got with his new supply through his job he had been getting ready while I was helping his pathetic ass get to work and left like he never knew me! It's was like a brick to the face but all you can do is learn from it! accept it ! Consider it a blessing and move on! He's her pussy nigga bitch now! Good bye! Definitely no contact! Heal and make your life better not to get into "shit u ationships" with muthafuckas like these again!
So...this is why he kept me just close enough..it was/IS because IM LIKE A SHIELD! So that he could maneuver in his unreal affairs and vices and NO ONE WOULD BELIEVE that he was/IS a villain because I was the good little naive wife! Thank you Dear for this insight! My eyes are opened a little more now!
I attempted suicide at work last may. I was so desperate to get away from all of my past trauma and abuse. I have attempted 5-7 times throughout my life. This last time, my pain was so great... that I was not afraid to stab myself in the neck 5 times. I lived, but living was not celebrated as it should have been. CPS had no choice but to remove my children from my care for fear of matricide. Without my children I had nothing. I crumbled. My mother was my childhood abuser and she was given custody of my children. My anxiety consumed me further knowing she could be traumatizing my babies. I have never felt so powerless. I have never felt so unsure of what to do, or how to get better. My therapy was too expensive for me at $100 a visit. These videos have filled me with so much insight. It was hard to listen to them at first because I have a picked up some abusive behaviors myself without being aware of it. Looking at yourself at an ugly angle is hard but I understand now that it is so necessary. I feel as though I had been lost in a sea of questions and self doubt but my feet are starting to find solid land. For the first time, in a VERY long time, I am starting to understand that I am not my trauma. I am me. And I cannot wait to find out who that is. Thank you so much.
Miss Surreal i am so sorry for your loss and i hope you are recovering. As someone whos also been in your situation (minus children) its never going to fix the damage they did to you. Only you can work that out yourself. You will recover and get your children back and in doing so expose your mother to them for the momster she really is. My mother was one too and im still recovering from her after all these years.
Try listening to Melanie Tonia on CZcams. We can't change our past but we can heal ourselves. Try listening to subliminal healing CZcams by Thomas hall. Take care! You will love yourself soon....life is about to change for the best with your empowerment and self love!
I went no-contact with my narcissistic mother when I was in my 20's, based on what I had read in self-help books. We didn't have internet back then. I wish I knew then what I know now. I would do a lot of things differently. She stalked me for years and made my life a living hell and I did not know how to deal with it so I just tried to ignore it, but that worked out disastrously for me. When my mother was finally committed by the state, in her 80's, because she kept running away from the senior living where the golden-child sister had put her. I was able to visit her every summer until she died. I was at her side the night she died as well, and the last person in the family to see her. But I could only be in her company by then because they had her on such strong medications, and so much of her mind had gone to dementia, that she could no longer play her head games with me.
Great understanding how these sick individuals work, I'd never even heard the word until I fell victim to one, It's been 10 months now since I was discarded after a berevement thank you for giving such an spot on account of these demonic monsters
Před 7 lety+12
My former Dutch neighbor said in the 90's that my ex threw away a lot, by having thrown away me...
After years and years of torture with a narcissist, I was fed up beyond words. My hair was falling out...headaches all the time...never had time for myself or peace of mind. Finally, I felt it was time for the BOUNDARY wall! That was it. I was done. NO CONTACT. Best thing I have ever done for myself. I cannot begin to tell you the joy of feeling FREE!!! I got my life back!!!!!!!!
Petra well said!!! Thank you for adding the dynamic for Narcissistic families. Ive gone NC with my family and it is a bitter pill to swallow. "Learning is a gift, even if pain is the teacher". Petra, can you PLEASE make a video of NARCISSIST and when they age? I would imagine their charms and good looks deteriorate as does all of us. I guess they dont age gracefully. Thank you for all your beautiful videos
I love this topic. recently going no contact for a second time with a friend more than 25 years there was always an undercurrent of uncomfortable feelings. In my gut which I always ignored. you have put in words the things that I could not find words for. Seems so clear now. once again Thank you! Petra ❤ You educate so beautifully.
I love this topic too, Madmadnice! Yes, the undercurrent of uncomfortable feelings that you just don't know the source of, or you can say you're blinded to for some time. In my case, it was a gradual awareness, by focusing in and paying closer attention to detail, and to what was NOT being said, or a quick change of subject. Diversion tactics happened a lot. It got to the point where just walking up the walk to their front door began to make the little hairs on the back of my neck stand up! Yes, thank you from me too, Petra, for these great videos.
Jeanog Oh yes, hairs on the back of your neck standing up, stomach churning, breathing deeply just to pluck up the courage to answer their call or ring the doorbell....I can relate to all that you've said. You're very welcome for the vids, my pleasure.
Petra Van Deijl. I've always said If you feel like throwing up before you see them there something horribly horrifyingly wrong. Yet the finger reaches out & presses the doorbell. Then the gut wrenching punishment begins with the biggest issue yourself.
My ex had over 3000 fb friends. I told him he only posts to get attention. He unfriended me, his girlfriend. I was like wow. I asked him why he did this he said i hurt his feelings. Total bs. I think he thought i was going to blow his cover or was either messing around with someone. He later sent me a friend request. Ha! As if id accept. I was his primary supply. Gave him a place to live and sex when he wanted which was way too much. I was a house and a hole. I discarded him and havent looked back😄
14:21 You are right. The narc I was dealing with was my best friend at the time. He couldn't make or maintain friendships and relied on my friends that I made to be affiliated with him. Needless to say, when I cut ties, I knew my friends were distant enough from him that his smear campaign would fail. And it failed hard.
It is funny, how we all started off with these Narcs, we start off as the secondary and then move up to the primary, only to be discarded...what horrible cycle for them to keep living. However Karma doesn't miss an address. 🙂🙏
Thank you Petra. Your information is great. Your wisdom is solid. Your voice is so soothing. Keep up the great generous work that you offer society. It's great to be free of a Narc. That is such a blessing to have experienced the Narc, because it builds character.
I would love to hear about the apathetic narcissist. My experience is he never works, has never offered me any type of security, always has kept me off guard. "Don't get your hopes up" is his favorite saying. I have worked my entire life and he hasn't. Collected unemployment from just working a couple months a year. I've raised our daughter on my income. I am leaving him soon. It has been 34 years and I am ready now to finally be free.
Here is a kind of supply I have barely seen addressed so far. There can be the mask of loving animals, and one’s own pets. But I have heard a narcissist admit that people like himself display sadistic treatment of animals in secret. Animals can be a source of narcissistic supply, just like people. And maybe better in someways, because they can’t tell anybody what happened. Please don’t leave your pets alone with anyone you even suspect is a narcissist.
Thank you for all your videos. Everything you said is 100% true about mother in law of my girlfriend. You seem reading the narcissistic evils inside out. Thank you. My girlfriend is getting stronger as well as her husband getting better. Thx again.
The Narc i was with have almost zero friends or followers in social media for one reason : He hidde himself. When we was together he never put nothing about us, even the relationship status. It was like i didnt exist in his life...So they do that too, they hidde themselfs so nobody can contact you and say the rumors about them.
My husband is a narcissist.... I cut off the supply and now he does Lyft he speaks to each and every passenger looking to be validated ... That false image is so real in their mind!
yup. the Snake thing is right. Spiritually, figuratively and metaphorically. the narc in my situation looks like a snake and makes me feel nauseous everytime he's around yuck
Question: When we discover that someone we've been dealing with is a Narcissist, how do we let others know to be careful? Covert Narcissists are especially careful of how they're perceived in the world.
I’m dealing with this but with a female old friend... it was a friendship that ended 2 years ago and this person is trying to come back like nothing ever happened and it’s funny to me because if I never watched these videos and learned about this disorder I probably would’ve accepted them back into my life. This person is very obsessed with me they stalked me in real life and online.. I want NOTHING to do with this person. I want to be left alone.. they are no good.
Petra I often wondered why he got with me . Partially was because of my good name in society and nobody would suspect him looking at me. The other was money I had from my late husband. He said once he liked my niativity
I've discarded my narc neighbor. Yesterday I caught her calling my little dog to go to her. She hit's her dog but wants to rub her grubby hands all over my dog. I am repulsed by her after her explosion last week and want nothing to do with her but have to see her around. I will protect my little dog friend as well as myself.
I closed my FB acct, because my Narcopath, had many accounts. He hacked others accounts, etc.. On our first date, he went through my purse, messed with my iPhone, and I can honestly say that he had a hollow personality. Robot. When we stopped at a gas station, he hid from me. I had to use the ladies room, and when I stepped out walking towards his vehicle, he was no where to be found for 5 minutes or more.. same with the grocery store. Why was he hiding himself?? Thank you for the video’s! I can’t seem to learn too much about these robotic people..
Hi Petra, Thank you for the calm, gentle manner in which you approached the subject. Currently, several mo. NC from my ex. narc. boyfriend. Still such a difficult "pill to swallow" that I was only an object, & that the love that he professed was an illusion. My goal was to have closure but most YT videos indicate that it will probably never come to fruition. Had approached him regarding that once before the NC, but he nixed my request. Question for you: How would you respond to an ex. if you ran into him? Feel compassion for him because of his illness but angry @ the hurt, sadness, etc. that he inflicted.
I was with a narcissistic for 14 years. My EX treated me like shit! I always thought my EX was jealous of me! He wanted what I had! And tried to take everything i had! My EX, cheated on me multiple times. I had dreams of him trying to destroy me! He even had a baby on me! he told me, he didn’t mean for it to happen!!! And the girl told me he was talking shit about me, but keep coming back to me! He disappeared. And is not in his kids life!
I'm not one who hates I just despise my husband. I have no feeling or remorse what happens to him and his family knows this.when he was admitted some weeks ago at the VA DISABILITY HOSPITAL, HIS SISTER CALLED TO TELL ME THAT HE WANTED ME TO COME VIST OR CALL, WELL he's STILL WAITING AND HE'S BEEN DISCHARGED SENSE THEN. HE PLAYS THIS GAME FOR MANY YEARS THIS TIME I PUT A STOP TO HIS GAME I DONT GIVE A FLUTE FOR A better WORD. NOW I GET A KICK OUT OF HIM CALLING I NEVER ANSWER suffering TILL YOUR NEXT SUPPLY.
I payed the rent and bills and with good reputation. I was 3 years a widow and had some money. I sent the money to my daughter. Ive been gone 2 yrs. and yes his Facebook pops up on my suggestions every 6 mos or so I delete it
Thank you so much for this generous delineation, Petra. Do you think Narcissists are... In your opinion, what causes their creation in the first place? Nature or Nurture? (Friendly advice: the tap behind you is distracting and your content is highly valuable; would it be possible to turn your chair so all we'd see would be a white wall behind you? It'd make for a better video, imo) Subscribed! Looking forward to much more 😊 Cheers, Pace (pen name)
Question; how can Narcissists draw pleasure from harming others? Is this a mental (physical) defect or a psychological one? In your opinion... How could we prevent Narcissists from even being created in the first place?
This is true I was sick with a bad bronchitis cold every year I lived with the narc. The cold would last for 6 weeks The first year I was discarded my cold only lasted 4 days. The next year (still discarded)no cold or sickness😜 you tell me folks. What really was going on😏
how to deal with narcssistic paretnts when you still live with them but you are operating your life in the background ? also ho to leave such setuation for good to start your own life ?
a life changing statement, the narcissist needs us, we don't need them. yes..... very empowering.
I went no contact for twelve years due to lying cheating and general abusive behaviour. I went back in to try again and received more of the same, if not worse. They are unbelievable and think their victims are going to take as much crap as they care to chuck.
Yes! beautifully stated! :)
Yes, and so true❗️
The acceptance of simply being used was HARD!!! It really was. But once I got it, it all made sense. Because I too looked at their history. And I am not the only one. I was simply the one who stayed around the longest. Thus far, anyway.
But this is their pattern. Their way of life. I was used because I was available to be used. I wasn’t aware of the existence of such an individual. So my genuine intentions, concern and love for them left me wide opened. When I assess my life, I realize now, THEY, are not the only narcissist I’ve ever known. They’re just the worst of it’s kind. It’s like all the others were prepping me. I think that’s why it was easier for me to hang in there because that poor behavior was all too familiar. But NOW? Oh now I KNOW!!!! And I KNOW this form of parasitical being will never get remotely close to me again.
#LessonLearned
I grew up as one of five children of a raging narcissistic mother. She really thought that, as the middle child and oldest daughter, that it was a "daughter's duty" to take care of her when she got older; that's what HER oldest sister did, who fortunately escaped into a successful late- in-life marriage. My mother had mental-health issues besides NPD; she accused me of being "vain" and "selfish" and absolutely detested fat people; onto them and her children, she projected the very worst of herself. She denied EVER being jealous of her daughters' burgeoning beauty, but she took care to sabotage any sense of empowerment we derived from our beauty. She always told me that I was "no good at practical things," but I consistently went to the top of the class, was an excellent typist and
to this day am an ace freelance writer/researcher/tutor/home-maker. She never learned to type, for example. Her judgment about my perceived lack of capabilities ruled my life for decades. She had good qualities, too, I learned to incorporate them. My mother died in 1995; I've forgiven her. I have refused to live out the pages of her largely self-serving life!!!
I had a stroke 3 yr ago, and i new that something was off about my wife. I have always notice the unnessasary rage over 21 yr. To avoid problems i stayed busy working all the time. When she came home from work i was on my way to work. I had to retire due to the stroke and i was able to to see the thruth about my wife. In the rehab, I notice how she was staring at me while i was getting therapy. She was always rushing me to get better. I was paying bills using my cellphone barly able to see. The vibe got so bad that i wanted her to go home, but she stayed just to see if i was going to get better. As soon as we got home she complaned about helping me, saying things like I DIDNT SIGN UP FOR THIS she wasn't acting like a caring wife. Long story short. my life has been a living hell. Everything in your videos I've experienced it. Now that i have recovered a little from the stroke I'm coming up with a exit plan. THANK YOU
omg I hope u are ok! get out leave! it's not worth it.
Donald Thompson good luck as somone with a narc mom im planing my exit now and i wish you the best life ever away from your narc
Hope you got out safe!
That’s so horrible I hope your recovering and she is gone.
You will heal much faster alone. Make sure you use meet up or another social forum to meet people and have social support. They make us feel awful when we are less than perfect, yet they were the ones making us sick. Her toxic behavior probably contributed to your stroke. Get well without her. You will meet a wonderful woman once you shut the door on the demon. Take care.....truth beauty love and healing are on the way...
The battle between good and evil is fought on the front lines between empaths and narcissists.
For this is not a battle of the conventional kind, using guns and cannons and warplanes on high. For this battle is fought in the hearts and minds of all who wish to go there. All those who will dare. To fight on these front lines is not for the faint of heart, or for the weak of mind...
You are absolutely right. Thank you💜
I went no contact for good yesterday. no more narc BS....
I did too
Luckey F. Starr congrats keep away. its for your own good
Congratulations. Well done!
How are you today?!😊
I don't get why some think your comment is funny. ( lol ) ??
Be diligent, stay safe and stay no contact. It'll be the best thing that you could do for yourself.
It's the worst being an object to a narcissistic mother. I feel like that's the lowest blow of them all. Truly. Not trying to invalidate anyone else's experience. But the fact that a mother can just drop her child and move on like they're nothing is just beyond comprehension.
Serenity Rayne I have to agree.it goes against nature. How does a child recover from that
Serenity Rayne it ain’t great having a narcissistic father either.
Yep, I grew up with a narcissist mother as a scapegoat. It has terrible effects on one's entire life when we are invalidated so blatantly, in the face of a golden-child sibling. I just went no contact - could have done it decades earlier if not for the infantilization. Despicable behavior with life-long effect.
the51project I’ve only had narc partners..can’t imagine having one for a parent but I still think being a the scapegoat child is better than being groomed to be a narc yourself..hang in there & be thankful for the empathy we have..tc
I am a scapegoat of a narcissistic mother.. I have finally gone no contact with her after 40 years of abuse. It's never her fault and always something I did, whether I was physically there or in a different state... My heart couldn't take the rejection from my own mother anymore, the pain was unbearable. I am still healing as it's only been 5 months. I know I am doing the right thing, however it's the person that I was Soo longing for from her as a mother, that I guess after cutting all ties I have lost all hope that she will ever be a mother to me. That's what I am truly upset about.. I have discovered the absolute truth and that's,that she will never be a mother to me. It's very hard to wrap my mind around how she can just disregard me as I am a mother of two myself. I have worked very hard to over come any tendencies from her, so that I don't do that to my own children. I also remind my husband that if anytime I represent my narcissistic mother's behavior he is to stop me in my tracks. Emotional abuse and physical abuse isn't anything that you can ever really really heal totally from. However you can find better ways at realizing you don't have to be the doormat to the abuse anymore.
I used to be so drained that I sought out an Chinese medical doctor who used to do a procedure called the "four gates" (four acupuncture needles placed)to completely open myself back up to the inflow of universal energy. I would go back, and immediately he would drain all my life force out to the point that I would be bedridden. The doctor told me to stay away from people like that. Also, the qigong guy I was working with was a Native Chinese man and he told me to "stay away from people with heavy karma". Such good advice that went unheeded!
persiamotorman ur comment is interesting...I have been living with handicapped person off and on for the last 16 years and now I have just been feeling drained to the point of not wanting to get out of bed some days...I have to believe in myself again but it's just depressing being here and now I am not even working...please pray for me and I you
persiamotorman Absolutely, stay away!!
We the survivors, tend to underestimate the powerful negative energy of a toxic person, so more reason to trust our instincts and intuition and stop downplaying the destruction of our hearts, minds and health when dealing with these inhumane beings.
Megan Anderly: genetic encoding in the ancestral DNA, plus past life soul agreements, psychic ties, chains, and bonds. Vows, from this and other incarnations, karmic trespasses, ect. Full transmutation of all of that, and soul, Spirit, essence, retrieval requiered, to dissipate and erase all karmic energies, of retribution cycle loop. Connect with Source Creator God Love-Light, and take back what is yours by divine right, you were sucked into deception, to give away your own precious vital lifeforce. Cut, sever, and release all which is No longer of service or required for your own highest good, now, call on your Spirit Team, Holy Spirit, ect. for assisting you, in your own power and authority. SHIELD AND PROTECT YOUR OWN LIFE.
I can't help but laugh now that I understand this behavior and put it all together. It makes more and more sense each time I play back an incident or memory from that experience. It really is pathetic. You've been educating me hardcore. It's amazing.
Dear Petra, your existence and knowledge give me hope. The damage I've suffered in silence and shame from my ex narc has had long term effects on my emotional&physical health. If I didn't get out of this abuse, I wouldn't be writing to you now. It's a dangerous, sometimes a near death experience especially for empaths, highly sensitive people. For people like me who have experienced epilepsy as children, stress and toxicity might be a very destructive force. I appreciate your hard work cause it saves lives. Thank you🍀
Kay 100 I am so sorry to hear what you have been through. The energetic and emotional poison that is deposited into us is REAL.
So happy that you are out of that war zone and that you are honouring your own feelings and true worth! Much love to you
Yes it makes perfect sense. I would always say to him I feel like you are using me. I feel like you are only using me for rides or something. I also would sense that he would always want to make himself look good while we were in public. He wanted to look like a perfect and happy couple. I couldn't put my finger on it until I started watching videos like these. They were my saving grace.
I was used sorta the same way taking his worthless ass to work every day and wasn't helping me with a damn thing but always causing issues with us and I started to pull away plus he was an functional alcoholic and when I really started setting boundaries and stop doing for him he had used me to the point to get his truck fixed and got with his new supply through his job he had been getting ready while I was helping his pathetic ass get to work and left like he never knew me! It's was like a brick to the face but all you can do is learn from it! accept it ! Consider it a blessing and move on! He's her pussy nigga bitch now! Good bye! Definitely no contact! Heal and make your life better not to get into "shit u ationships" with muthafuckas like these again!
So...this is why he kept me just close enough..it was/IS because IM LIKE A SHIELD! So that he could maneuver in his unreal affairs and vices and NO ONE WOULD BELIEVE that he was/IS a villain because I was the good little naive wife! Thank you Dear for this insight! My eyes are opened a little more now!
I attempted suicide at work last may. I was so desperate to get away from all of my past trauma and abuse. I have attempted 5-7 times throughout my life. This last time, my pain was so great... that I was not afraid to stab myself in the neck 5 times. I lived, but living was not celebrated as it should have been. CPS had no choice but to remove my children from my care for fear of matricide. Without my children I had nothing. I crumbled. My mother was my childhood abuser and she was given custody of my children. My anxiety consumed me further knowing she could be traumatizing my babies. I have never felt so powerless. I have never felt so unsure of what to do, or how to get better. My therapy was too expensive for me at $100 a visit. These videos have filled me with so much insight. It was hard to listen to them at first because I have a picked up some abusive behaviors myself without being aware of it. Looking at yourself at an ugly angle is hard but I understand now that it is so necessary. I feel as though I had been lost in a sea of questions and self doubt but my feet are starting to find solid land. For the first time, in a VERY long time, I am starting to understand that I am not my trauma. I am me. And I cannot wait to find out who that is. Thank you so much.
Miss Surreal i am so sorry for your loss and i hope you are recovering. As someone whos also been in your situation (minus children) its never going to fix the damage they did to you. Only you can work that out yourself. You will recover and get your children back and in doing so expose your mother to them for the momster she really is. My mother was one too and im still recovering from her after all these years.
Stay strong. God. Bless
I'm sorry for your loss😥 Pray, pray to God. God will hear you and change all that in Your favor. Amen 🙏🙏🙏🙏
Try listening to Melanie Tonia on CZcams. We can't change our past but we can heal ourselves. Try listening to subliminal healing CZcams by Thomas hall. Take care! You will love yourself soon....life is about to change for the best with your empowerment and self love!
I went no-contact with my narcissistic mother when I was in my 20's, based on what I had read in self-help books. We didn't have internet back then. I wish I knew then what I know now. I would do a lot of things differently. She stalked me for years and made my life a living hell and I did not know how to deal with it so I just tried to ignore it, but that worked out disastrously for me. When my mother was finally committed by the state, in her 80's, because she kept running away from the senior living where the golden-child sister had put her. I was able to visit her every summer until she died. I was at her side the night she died as well, and the last person in the family to see her. But I could only be in her company by then because they had her on such strong medications, and so much of her mind had gone to dementia, that she could no longer play her head games with me.
i agree, actually facebook is a Narcs dream come true lol
Spot on! They use us as a badge/ evidence to the world that they are such nice people to attract such nice people like us.
Great understanding how these sick individuals work, I'd never even heard the word until I fell victim to one,
It's been 10 months now since I was discarded after a berevement thank you for giving such an spot on account of these demonic monsters
My former Dutch neighbor said in the 90's that my ex threw away a lot, by having thrown away me...
Yes, they do! And we can also become physically violent towards them to if they get the better of us!
Physically they are weak, so as their willpower. Their strength is their illusion just like a good magician.
After years and years of torture with a narcissist, I was fed up beyond words. My hair was falling out...headaches all the time...never had time for myself or peace of mind. Finally, I felt it was time for the BOUNDARY wall! That was it. I was done. NO CONTACT. Best thing I have ever done for myself. I cannot begin to tell you the joy of feeling FREE!!! I got my life back!!!!!!!!
Petra well said!!! Thank you for adding the dynamic for Narcissistic families. Ive gone NC with my family and it is a bitter pill to swallow. "Learning is a gift, even if pain is the teacher".
Petra, can you PLEASE make a video of NARCISSIST and when they age? I would imagine their charms and good looks deteriorate as does all of us. I guess they dont age gracefully.
Thank you for all your beautiful videos
TheBestDaddy Bishes My pleasure! Thank YOU for your support!
I will make a video on the aging 😉
TheBestDaddy Bishes I love your quote so much, thanks for sharing.
I love this topic. recently going no contact for a second time with a friend more than 25 years there was always an undercurrent of uncomfortable feelings. In my gut which I always ignored. you have put in words the things that I could not find words for.
Seems so clear now. once again Thank you! Petra ❤ You educate so beautifully.
I love this topic too, Madmadnice! Yes, the undercurrent of uncomfortable feelings that you just don't know the source of, or you can say you're blinded to for some time. In my case, it was a gradual awareness, by focusing in and paying closer attention to detail, and to what was NOT being said, or a quick change of subject. Diversion tactics happened a lot. It got to the point where just walking up the walk to their front door began to make the little hairs on the back of my neck stand up! Yes, thank you from me too, Petra, for these great videos.
Madmadnice So kind, thank you.
These frenemies are not worthy of our love, energy or support. Be free! 😉
Jeanog Oh yes, hairs on the back of your neck standing up, stomach churning, breathing deeply just to pluck up the courage to answer their call or ring the doorbell....I can relate to all that you've said.
You're very welcome for the vids, my pleasure.
Petra Van Deijl. I've always said If you feel like throwing up before you see them there something horribly horrifyingly wrong. Yet the finger reaches out & presses the doorbell. Then the gut wrenching punishment begins with the biggest issue yourself.
My ex had over 3000 fb friends. I told him he only posts to get attention. He unfriended me, his girlfriend. I was like wow. I asked him why he did this he said i hurt his feelings. Total bs. I think he thought i was going to blow his cover or was either messing around with someone. He later sent me a friend request. Ha! As if id accept. I was his primary supply. Gave him a place to live and sex when he wanted which was way too much. I was a house and a hole. I discarded him and havent looked back😄
3000 friends but only 3 will attend his funeral.
Yeah they all have a lot of friends on there. That is how they get new supply.
PETRA YOU ARE SO BEAUTIFUL INSIDE AND OUT. I LOVE YOUR WISDOM. THANK YOU FOR GETTING ME THRU SUCH A LOW POINT IN MY LIFE. GOD BLESS YOU.
Steve Bosley Thank you so much. Wishing you much courage and strength on your journey of healing
I don't want to serve or worship wrong ppl. Narcs. F the f narcs. You are good to listen to. Soft- spoken.
14:21
You are right. The narc I was dealing with was my best friend at the time. He couldn't make or maintain friendships and relied on my friends that I made to be affiliated with him. Needless to say, when I cut ties, I knew my friends were distant enough from him that his smear campaign would fail. And it failed hard.
It is funny, how we all started off with these Narcs, we start off as the secondary and then move up to the primary, only to be discarded...what horrible cycle for them to keep living. However Karma doesn't miss an address. 🙂🙏
Thank you Petra. Your information is great. Your wisdom is solid. Your voice is so soothing. Keep up the great generous work that you offer society. It's great to be free of a Narc. That is such a blessing to have experienced the Narc, because it builds character.
I love the Human shield definition and that is so true,
I would love to hear about the apathetic narcissist. My experience is he never works, has never offered me any type of security, always has kept me off guard. "Don't get your hopes up" is his favorite saying. I have worked my entire life and he hasn't. Collected unemployment from just working a couple months a year. I've raised our daughter on my income. I am leaving him soon. It has been 34 years and I am ready now to finally be free.
Here is a kind of supply I have barely seen addressed so far. There can be the mask of loving animals, and one’s own pets.
But I have heard a narcissist admit that people like himself display sadistic treatment of animals in secret.
Animals can be a source of narcissistic supply, just like people. And maybe better in someways, because they can’t tell anybody what happened.
Please don’t leave your pets alone with anyone you even suspect is a narcissist.
Thank you for all your videos. Everything you said is 100% true about mother in law of my girlfriend. You seem reading the narcissistic evils inside out.
Thank you. My girlfriend is getting stronger as well as her husband getting better.
Thx again.
Love this video. Especially about fb. I've suspected the amount of "friends" on members site were fake. The "1000" or more so-called friends are bull!
Don't forget the empathy...their always thinking what do I get out of it....
thank you, i watched about 4 of your videos tonight and theyve really helped me understand things a lot more.
What an awesome talk, Petra. You give me hope. Jusy woke up to this narcissim yesterday in a violent manner.
Thank u so much for opening up my eyes to see the truth!
The Narc i was with have almost zero friends or followers in social media for one reason : He hidde himself. When we was together he never put nothing about us, even the relationship status. It was like i didnt exist in his life...So they do that too, they hidde themselfs so nobody can contact you and say the rumors about them.
thank you, your videos are so therapeutic, and much appreciated improved quality!
Heidi's GAMING My pleasure!
Amazing! OMG, So validating! Bless you!!!
Very well articulated
Thank you Petra, nice to meet you. 😊
Wow... Thank you so much, you just gave me the enclosure i needed. God bless!
Thank you for showing us the power of the resistance.
My husband is a narcissist.... I cut off the supply and now he does Lyft he speaks to each and every passenger looking to be validated ... That false image is so real in their mind!
Oh wow. He started doing lift too. Smh.
very good video, very insightful
When karma pays my narc has become impotent because of his diabetes
Thank you very much 🌸
yup. the Snake thing is right. Spiritually, figuratively and metaphorically. the narc in my situation looks like a snake and makes me feel nauseous everytime he's around yuck
Great content
Wow! They love chaos too@ 😀😂😂 Thank You Petra for your beutyful video
Question: When we discover that someone we've been dealing with is a Narcissist, how do we let others know to be careful? Covert Narcissists are especially careful of how they're perceived in the world.
I’m dealing with this but with a female old friend... it was a friendship that ended 2 years ago and this person is trying to come back like nothing ever happened and it’s funny to me because if I never watched these videos and learned about this disorder I probably would’ve accepted them back into my life. This person is very obsessed with me they stalked me in real life and online.. I want NOTHING to do with this person. I want to be left alone.. they are no good.
patra thanks a lot right away your healing my heart and i see them alive
The best thing I ever did in my life was unplug my Narc ex husband and Narc ex friends and family members.✨☮️
Petra I often wondered why he got with me . Partially was because of my good name in society and nobody would suspect him looking at me. The other was money I had from my late husband. He said once he liked my niativity
I've discarded my narc neighbor. Yesterday I caught her calling my little dog to go to her. She hit's her dog but wants to rub her grubby hands all over my dog. I am repulsed by her after her explosion last week and want nothing to do with her but have to see her around. I will protect my little dog friend as well as myself.
I closed my FB acct, because my Narcopath, had many accounts. He hacked others accounts, etc.. On our first date, he went through my purse, messed with my iPhone, and I can honestly say that he had a hollow personality. Robot. When we stopped at a gas station, he hid from me. I had to use the ladies room, and when I stepped out walking towards his vehicle, he was no where to be found for 5 minutes or more.. same with the grocery store. Why was he hiding himself?? Thank you for the video’s! I can’t seem to learn too much about these robotic people..
CRaZy Making mine would do the same
Yes, it is!
Hi Petra,
Thank you for the calm, gentle manner in which you approached the subject. Currently, several mo. NC from my ex. narc. boyfriend. Still such a difficult "pill to swallow" that I was only an object, & that the love that he professed was an illusion.
My goal was to have closure but most YT videos indicate that it will probably never come to fruition. Had approached him regarding that once before the NC, but he nixed my request.
Question for you: How would you respond to an ex. if you ran into him? Feel compassion for him because of his illness but angry @ the hurt, sadness, etc. that he inflicted.
I was with a narcissistic for 14 years. My EX treated me like shit! I always thought my EX was jealous of me! He wanted what I had! And tried to take everything i had! My EX, cheated on me multiple times. I had dreams of him trying to destroy me! He even had a baby on me! he told me, he didn’t mean for it to happen!!! And the girl told me he was talking shit about me, but keep coming back to me! He disappeared. And is not in his kids life!
That's true too!
I'm not one who hates I just despise my husband. I have no feeling or remorse what happens to him and his family knows this.when he was admitted some weeks ago at the VA DISABILITY HOSPITAL, HIS SISTER CALLED TO TELL ME THAT HE WANTED ME TO COME VIST OR CALL, WELL he's STILL WAITING AND HE'S BEEN DISCHARGED SENSE THEN. HE PLAYS THIS GAME FOR MANY YEARS THIS TIME I PUT A STOP TO HIS GAME I DONT GIVE A FLUTE FOR A better WORD. NOW I GET A KICK OUT OF HIM CALLING I NEVER ANSWER suffering TILL YOUR NEXT SUPPLY.
He doesn’t need me he’s gone again lol
a human shield - that's smth new for me but ıt ıs logıcal! wow cunning creatures!
Marta Marta You might want to try building up your WEAK self esteem.
I payed the rent and bills and with good reputation. I was 3 years a widow and had some money. I sent the money to my daughter. Ive been gone 2 yrs. and yes his Facebook pops up on my suggestions every 6 mos or so I delete it
Thank you so much for this generous delineation, Petra. Do you think Narcissists are... In your opinion, what causes their creation in the first place? Nature or Nurture?
(Friendly advice: the tap behind you is distracting and your content is highly valuable; would it be possible to turn your chair so all we'd see would be a white wall behind you? It'd make for a better video, imo)
Subscribed! Looking forward to much more 😊
Cheers,
Pace (pen name)
SO VERY TRUE!!!!!
My narcissistic husband died of strange 4 cancer which spread to the brain after putting me through 31 miserable years of marriage. 😢
Can a narcissist demon be extracated from the person it’s in with the authority of Jesus Christ?
THANK YOU
Question; how can Narcissists draw pleasure from harming others? Is this a mental (physical) defect or a psychological one? In your opinion... How could we prevent Narcissists from even being created in the first place?
Wow so true!!!
It is very annoying. All they do is go in circles while engaging in a conversation. It is very draining and very annoying. Smh!
Bingo and Pokeno! The number of Facebook friends is the tell
My narcissistic mom lives with me and my 2 children, and she won't leave (I'm an only child, I'm 44)...!!! It's my house...help me, I'm so tired...
That is horrible. I pray to god that you stand up for yourself...
Sept îles Québec Canada
This is true I was sick with a bad bronchitis cold every year I lived with the narc. The cold would last for 6 weeks The first year I was discarded my cold only lasted 4 days. The next year (still discarded)no cold or sickness😜 you tell me folks. What really was going on😏
Psychosomatic illnesses. You can not be well around toxic energy.
DISCARD HIS ASS AND MOVE ON.
If the anti-christ will have thousands of gullible followers.
..God Almighty help us all
Followers being the operative word.
and still does
I'm trying hard to change I have inner pains I never forgave
No, it doesn't I left before I killed him.
Pat says, Me too, i just finding out about nacrist
content starts at 1:17
how to deal with narcssistic paretnts when you still live with them but you are operating your life in the background ? also ho to leave such setuation for good to start your own life ?
So AM I THE NARC????? I'M OBSESSED WITH MY NARC. DO THEY KNOW WHAT WE ARE GOING THROUGH
Trauma Bond to the narcissist
Im getting a divorce
F I am not a life's force . F no.!
They're also very boring when they are not acting
I strongly oppose to being the bl**dy hell PAWN!!!! Need op. Safe n sound.
freaking psychopaths. That's exactly what my ex girlfriend did
Hello Petra! How can I send u an email?
Lizeyka Toan Hi! noalifecoaching@live.com