There comes a point when you just can't stand them anymore that you start inevitably, lashing out at them as they do to us. But for us it`s a way of survival, frustration, repressed feelings for far too long. Yes, we realise that we shouldn't`t have also because they will start pointing their finger at you and accusing you of being unstable... horrible relationships
That's happening to me right now! I am no longer sitting quietly taking it, and it makes me feel sick that I am pushed to react with anger and bitterness and anxiety! I will not back down anymore!
If you're unaware you're dealing with a narc, we don't realize that by lashing out we play right into their desires, we don't realize they not only enjoy getting us upset but that they are taking mental notes on how to further isolate and degrade us.
@@Ariels888 Hey, I just saw your comment. Please understand they enjoy and will weaponize this against you. There are many videos about how to deal with the anger they incite, but personally I recommend civil disobedience (politely say NO... stick to it, don't let them work you up they f'in love it.) Silent treatment- avoid eye contact, avoid playing into their bullshit attempts to get you to supply them, (it's all about control, getting them off, it's the only reason they interact with you) Let your yes mean yes and your no mean no (don't try sarcasm or sneak-dissing, they get off you're putting so much energy into your thoughts and actions toward them) Go STOIC. BEST OF LUCK FRIEND Also you have to eventually make an exit-plan no matter who it is in your life. This is abuse. I had a few other things to add but my short term memory is shit.
@@stevensullivan5282 Thank you for your kind words Steven. I am in the process of starting over, again, but I am making sure that I am financially stable and secure, while keeping my family at a safe distance. Getting angry at them doesn't work, because they, my mother especially uses my anger against me, calling me "crazy" just like she did when I was a teenager and was catching on what she was doing to us. I know that it's a trigger for me, so staying away is best like you stated. I'm much happier and less anxious without them in my life. I seem to attract narssacistic men too, so I have cut out those males in my life who were not good people either. Having a good solid plan helps a lot. Thank you again for your kindness. It helps to know that I'm not alone. 😉
I'm on my journey to healing. Thank the Lord!!! The devil is only using these types of people to steal, kill, and destroy the lives of others. They are evil and they know it, and if there is no change before they make it to their grave, then, they are looking towards an eternal damnation in the deepest parts of hell.
John Yin She's just angry John, and that anger is just going through the construct of her particular belief system. We all have our own constructs of belief. Let her have hers. She may not be ready to feel compassion yet. She's too hurt right now.
Kay Anne you are so right. People that try to defend these narcs saying that they are abused and need compassion are probably a narc themselves. Or they have never been a target of one. Because once you are, you will never feel compassion for them. The compassion is only for yourself, the victim, for healing. There's never an excuse for someone to abuse, exploit, and use someone. I have never personally seen a narcissist show compassion because they're not able to. I believe these are the individuals that are targeted by Satan himself. Uses them to try to break down the empaths because he can't do it without the narcs.
If you get close, their ugly side begins to creep out, they get uncomfortable and suspicious, they start to criticise you over little things, interpret everything as a dig, their paranoia creeps out and bites you in the butt... If you ever try to call them out or criticise their behaviour, it's silent treatment time (if covert narcissist) or rage time (if overt narcissist).... with a free trip to mind game central, blameshiftcity, deflectorville and project-a-thon 2000... It's totally exhausting...
More than Can't Handle or Fear Of ...Healthy relationships....I consider that it is much more complex than this...they have NEVER LEARNED how to have a healthy relationship and thus don't have the SKILLS and interpersonal abilities to enter into healthy relationship function. As a result,....they self sabotage by destroying the relationships they have BEFORE the truth comes out which is that they are severely handicapped and disabled to give true love and empathy.... the truth is that they have total LACK of skill, ability, practice and exposure to healthy relationship dynamics. hence...self sabotage each and every single time...ending the relationship
I lost my urge to want to see the narcissist. It's more like a nauseating feeling now. I can't have the negative energy in my space, if at all I can help it.
Me 2!!! Feeling just ain't the same no more especially after he ghosted for 5 months over a conversation he couldn't win and control!!! I feel so proud of myself!!!
If he is around me at times. I can't stand being around him. I'm like yuck. I kept saying to the Lord over and over before I broke up with him that I was losing a piece of myself every day. It was so draining. It was like he almost killed me in more then one way.
It`s like a broken spell. Any normal person would feel the same. Once I figured out I was dealing with a covert narc, my only desire was to run away inmediately. I knew it was all toxic and it could never be fixed,
They fear being exposed. He attempted to smear my character and played the victim. I did not care because those that know me, know the truth. I know the truth. Empower yourself and never mind what the narc says or does not say about you. Charge on!
It is hard when people act funny towards me. I know she has said horrible things about me. She has turned the tables and it's hard to admit I have been victimized.
I was one step ahead of the Narcissist. Yes, be one step ahead before ditching the crazy maker. I told everybody the truth about the narcissist. They want nothing to do with him. I'm free!! Almost 3 months no contact. I feel on top of the world! Aaahhhh..
I tried to tell my family and friends about the way the Narcissist treated me. They don't believe me. They were showered with praises and expensive gifts from him and comment, "He doesn't display those behavior around us"
My narc ex friend feared boredom. Everything was about having a good time. Everything is fine as long as it is shallow and superficial. She does not like people getting too close. That is what happened to me and another person. We got too close (and we are also empaths) . We were devalued with public humiliation, totally blindsided. This narc gets away with stuff because she is very charming.
Mary Holton she fears "boredom" because she is unwilling to be still and look inward. Quiet, peaceful times are considered "boring" to narcos because they have to keep a constant false image often through distracting themselves by meaningless activity.
true. I've grown after each narc so much so it's transformative..that's why they are in our lives...once we heal we stop attracting them. the ego is the devil..the soul is god. ..so i suppose you can say it's a spiritual battle between the two... our lights too bright and they know it... it's why they want it put out. they may dim it for a while but it burns even brighter after. they can't stand strength
Having compassion for narcissists is not good advice. Personally, I feel nothing for them. I don't care if they're hurting inside. I don't care if they have low self esteem deep down. I don't care if they're happy or sad. I don't care how they got to be that way. Whether they had spoilt love or bad potty training or beaten childhood. Or whether it's a genetic problem. A bug on my kitchen window is more interesting to me than a narcissist. 1g of compassion for a narcissist is 1g less for me or my friends. If they were hurt and asked for my help I would walk away and not look back. In the company of the narcissist I'm like the narcissist. Cold. Remote. Nothing there. Zip. Nada. Then when I'm with my friends I'm back on planet earth and return to my normal, friendly, loving self.
JackintheBox...great work, people make all types of excuses for the Devils and The Truth is they only have any type of reserve because they only fear JAIL, that they fear with all their being they can't handle being a prisoner but love to make prisoners of men...they'll kill you in the twinkling of an eye if they could.
I finally had a chance to tell my narcissi she was a miserable sad lonely jealous demonic cobra snake full of venom. She went into a screaming rage and I could care less I was relieve to finally after all this year to stand up for myself now I'm done and look at the narcissist as a Rowling lion with no teeth just weak and now she know I know she weak and have no control and she hate it.
Charoletta I am so happy for you and proud you stood up for yourself!!! I called my close friend out on her abusive behavior too and she kept doing it and I ended the friendship. What's crazy is she sees her kid's dad as a narcissist and he is, but doesn't see her own self!
Charoletta77 "a miserable sad lonely jealous demonic cobra snake full of venom" - YAASS!! 😄 I gotta remember that one when confronting the narco pit viper I'm unfortunately dealing with!
When things began to fall apart and I noticed that I got myself into a 1 sided relationship/friendship, I told the former narc in my life "this could be a healthy relationship". Shortly after, I was discarded. I also pushed this person away in my own way, despite having mixed feelings about it. Before I knew the true nature of narcissists, I was striving to establish proper communication and create a healthy relationship. I was thinking "we got off on the wrong foot," but this person just wasn't having it.
The Narcissist in my life has drained me to the core, I've been conditioned by them for many years I'm 43 years old & my first Narcissistic abuse started at 9 from one of my uncles and cousin.. and the rest is history... I cut most of them out of my lives some were much harder than others.. the last Narcissist is very violent... thank you Petra 🤗💚👸🏿🙏🏾
This video made me cry I guess I've been holding it in I'm so glad that person is out of my life but I have so many narcissistic people in my life but I'm glad that I removed them all no matter how long some it may be right now thank you
The way you presented this information, really hit my soul! Things that were confusing have cleared up.... I am so grateful for truly seeing this light.
Thank you for letting me know that my good and bad days are normal. I have been wondering what was wrong with me. I would think, I felt so good yesterday so why do I feel all these emotions today? I will say that everyday teaches me something so I press forward and refuse to give up. Thanks for your help!
They are humans. Just as much as me and you. Distance is the best during the process of healing but you will have to forgive them. Love to you all you are all worthy. Xxxx
Petra. Thank you for your video. It helps a lot. I am going through this process. There are still a lot of "bad days". Sometimes, I wish I were a narcissist - just switch off the feelings alltogether. I am noticing very tiny steps of progress. The hardest part is imagining my life without him. Somedays I feel like an idiot: he forgot about the whole relationship. And I am hurting. I need to rebuild my life from the scratch again. I am still feeling love for him. But from time to time I get angry at him for erasing the whole situation as if it never took place. I wish he felt the hurt. And was punished. But I do understand that they can never be punished likewise. As they cannot feel remorse. It is a very hard and slow healing. And there are times when I want to walk out of the window and die. A step ahead and a deep fall after. I stand up and fall again. But deep in my heart I started noticing the tiniest bits of real healing.
I understand more why my siblings are in denial, telling everyone what great parents we had. I guess the truth would cause too much shame, knowing that our parents were not very nice people, but wicked. My parents lived through my siblings (golden children), now my siblings are living as the extension of my parents. My parents looked successful, good and caring, but all lies.
Am sharing this 'Video' with 'Young Women' on CZcams who are going through all this and have no 'Support Group'. Your kind voice and spoken words, I 'Pray' will help bring 'Comfort' to them and they will 'Join' Your Channel. God Bless You...
I want to say that this is thee BEST video of your l have ever viewed. It hit home and explained so much of my everyday life. I'm dealing with sooooooo much pain right now. There are days that l just want to SCREAM to the top of my lungs. Days l spend crying my eyes out. I pray that one day l can be normal again with out him. But thank you! Thank you! Thank you! For all of your help!!!💕😪😤
I had to cover my face because the realization is just to real. Everything u say is just so real & unbelievable I can't believe it how I didn't see it & God just showed it to me but to hear it like it happens is just surreal.
There’s an ugly grey area between narcissism, borderline personality disorder, Stockholm syndrome, ptsd & sometimes it’s difficult to know who’s who, which one is which. We’re all wearing a mask, narcs & victims alike. It’s so confusing, I often wonder if I am the narc. I’d love someone to fully address this topic in-depth.
Live Life do you feel remorse/guilt/introspect/think about the other's point of view in a non self serving way but because you can see yourself in the other (generally speaking)? If so, you're not an NPD.
I agree. :) It's like listening to a dear friend talking to you. There's a lot of empathy and compassion coming across in Petra's voice and that's very soothing.
im going thru healing process its very difficult its been 7 months now. thank you Petra for the time that you take to make this videos to help us recover from the narcisists discard.
i'm not convinced they are terrified of being exposed by the truth. Ive experienced the abusers delight of switching from abuser to victim. It was like one big game that had been played out many times. Maybe the abuser I experienced was leaning more towards sociopath than narc.
I have experienced this too. And the silence when you ask something that is uncomfortable to them and they just dont answer. What do you do in this case?
@@uk9383 Stop asking them. They don't care to give a truthful answer and probably never will. If they do actually one day respond, it will simply be more manipulation. Avoid them entirely if possible.
This is a brilliant talk. I’m completely restored, I wish she (from she and I) could share it with me, we could be anything we want. I feel massively enlightened all of a sudden.
@petra u said that yes we are all wounded individuals but the difference between us n narcs is that we choose to be compassionate. I don't think for one minute that every compassionate or empathetic person tries to/chooses to be that way. Some of us are soooo naturally empathetic and compassionate that even if we try to be revengeful we can't. Just speaking truth. It is like the kind factor: some people try to be nice and will even say, "I was just being nice". Whereas, some of us are just naturally kind cause kindness comes out of our pores .
I know it's been a year, but you said it right there. I hate being rude to people, so if I see some one being rude I just stand there thinking WTH why are they so rude, and suck it all in, it's passive. but if it was my parents and brothers I would have fought tooth and nail with them because they were so damn belittling to me all my life, so I know why I am a Empath, and I also know that makes me a better person than my parents and brothers
This was very helpful to me because the Narcissist ex-friend communicated that she thinks of me every day with tears to my husband. Then she said she just can’t go any farther than that. Taking care of myself and no contact is still my new way to peace. Thank-you!
19:20 thank you Petra, it is so important that you say this. Every time I think of my narc, it makes me so mad that I start to consume myself. By showing, or even try to show compassion for them in my own mind, it makes it easier to deal with the pain they have caused. Je bent goed bezig, en een baken in mijn herstel. Dankjewel.
Petra, like you pointed out @ around 9:40, we have the capability to mimic the narc traits. Growing up with a narc mother, I was exposed to an over saturation of narcissistic behavior and abuse. Even though now I am an adult, I live my own life and no longer live with my mother, sometimes I have to catch myself on the things I say or how I say them to certain people. I will look back and say, that I was not at my best self when I lashed out at that person, that I could have expressed those words in a much more conductive way. This is because this is how I was taught how to communicate as a child when it came to expressing hurt or anger. I was only taught how to lash out, not how to be compassionate. Exposure to narcissistic abuse can pervert our true nature as empaths, but I think as long as we're aware and reflective on ourselves we can get the healing we need.
Yes, but we don't have to give our power away to any kind of toxic person. Maybe it can be a thin line of lashing out, but others need awareness of our boundaries even if they don't like it what they experience. They are on a totally different vibrational level. Better be carefull or you set yourself up for psychic attack. They are predators. They need our energy for their own survival.
Amazing video every word you said speaks to my soul and yes the narc wants everything I have my home my kids my life. I’m on the exit plan not long now and I’ll be free from this poisonous venom and I’m going run like the devil is chasing me and never look back. They will not stop they suck the soul your health and identity out of you. I loved every word you spoke and with such a gracious voice
Oh, Petra, I love you - thank you so much for this video. It was so helpful and healing to me! Thank you especially what you said around the 9 minute mark. I recently got out of a friendship with someone I thought was my best friend. I went through that whole "is it me or is it her?" thing. And I agonised over it because, I too lashed out at her at times, and she'd be sure to make me feel terrible for it. Which wasn't necessary, as I already felt terrible. But she had hurt me so terribly at times. Her mind games were so subversive... she'd accuse me of doing the very things she was doing, but she'd always be able to tie it to something I had done, and that just messed with my head so freaking much. She kept promising to send me a thank you gift for all I'd done for her (I was helping her daily with online projects), but she never did. This went on for 7 months. After 3 months she said she'd send "two" for my birthday as an apology... I never got anything for my birthday... When I called her out on it, and said it had damaged trust for her to make promises and renege on them ... she flipped it back on me and said that I should have told her before how I felt, and my failure to do so had caused HER to mistrust me... saying I had 'triggered' her... I ended up apologising to her!! But ... we talked daily, she called me her best friend, she seemed interested in my life and my wellbeing, so I just put all this down to her unique weirdness. Eventually I put it to her we should meet up in real life ... surely if we meet up in real life, she'd make an effort, it'll bring us closer together... I'd fly out to come see her, spend time with my bestie. She happily accepts and promises to spend much of the week hanging out with me! So I get out there and... the first evening is okay, friendly enough (but, surprise surprise, she didn't get me that greeting gift we agreed to exchange). I let it slide so as to not spoil the mood. The next day, she tells me has a migraine, she can't meet ... she'll text later. Later, her husband is unwell, her mum is unwell... she has chores... she's noncommittal about whether we can meet up again... she'll text tomorrow. The next day. Keeps saying "we'll see" and "maybe" to questions about meeting up again... no sign of any regret, remorse, apology, empathy from her for my situation. Eventually I say, look, this isn't on. I call her out and say that she needs to honour her agreement to spend time with me, that's why I'm here after all, at great expense. She turns it back on me, saying I am trying to manipulate her, guilt trip her (but claiming everyone is ill isn't an attempt to manipulate me emotionally into letting her off the hook for flaking?). I say she's not being respectful or considerate, doesn't seem to care about me or my feelings at all. She dismisses my attempts to find a solution. She tells me to go home, she isn't seeing me.. she "doesn't need all this" or the burden of "entertaining" me. Tells me to go home but she'd "like to remain friends?" I lose it at this point... she wants to treat me like this and thinks I'll remain her friend? So I'm angry, I'm bitter, I'm upset, I'm crying, I'm furious, I'm hurt.... I'm devastated (this is my 'best friend forever'!) ... I figure it's over anyway though, I have nothing to lose, so I "let her have it" ... I tell her hurt I feel, that I deserve better than this, I have been a loyal friend who has gone out of his way to support her and be there for her... now I need her, and where is she? I get angry and mad. She ignores my messages. I tell her she has a few days to sort things out or I'm going home and we're through. She blocks me... They cannot handle the truth about themselves, cannot self-reflect, cannot apologise, or own their own shit.
Hi Petra.....thank you for this video.....I feel that I am one of the blessed ones.....I am not angry or vengeful......I was in a 30 year relationship with a narc......I just broke from the soul tie 1 week ago due what I've learned through the internet....my last conversation with the narcissist lasted about 1 minute.....I stopped his gaslighting so fast, debunking his lies with facts he couldn't refute.....I've also been grey rocking him recently......he is seething with jealousy due to my successes and abundance.......I think the reason why I am so ambivalent and peaceful, is that I've been channeling my energies into my music and graphic arts.....working on my artwork is very cathartic.....🌌🙏
Oh wow your videos are so enlightening! I knew what I saw and felt me being an empath and something just wasn't right, but I just wasn't sure of the proper psychological term. Wow these people must not have a life to be so meticulously mentally vicious...like really ? who has the time to pre plan a mental attack, prey on people etc. Geez get a life!
Petra yes I suffered years of horrific abuse at the hands of my Covert Narcissist spouse. I now know why & this is very healing to me & Yes I have made a decision. I am going to forgive him my Covert Spouse for all of it. Yes forgive him and YES know now & have NO doubt in my mind that he did this abuse intentionally to me. That he plotted and planned all of it to destroy me and my life etc.. knowing this yes it's extremely painful NO doubt.etc. I do know now for my recovery & his if he is lucky enough his recovery I need to forgive him & mean it in my heart. Move on. Pray for him that he never does this abuse to anyone. That does not mean I will take him back and endure or suffer anymore abuse from him. No absolutely not as I told him I did NOT deserve any of your abuse to me. I did not deserve to be abused by you. Petra.. yes I love myself & know I never deserved any of this nor does anyone. No one none of us deserve to be abused. My ex became a Monster a Man I didn't know. A man that in no way can be a part of my life a happy, healthy & loving home. Yes this is a disorder no doubt! Thank you for all of your help.
So insightful Petra. After 5 years of being with a narcissist she finished with me last week and told me she’d met someone else then just blocked me. Everything you’ve talked about in this video is familiar. Each day I watch one of your videos and each day I’m gaining strength. I can’t thank you enough. You saved my life when I didn’t want to carry on.
Or who doesn’t want you enough to trust you. Sad, because there’s only one way I really want this feeling to go - outwards, I want someone to accept it
I’m not surprised you’re smiling at the end of this video, you’re immensely inspiring, this talk is like the culmination of two days watching narcissism videos and it has put it all together so I feel as if inside I can master my inner space, and outside, as if I can tame the most destabilising fears I’ve ever encountered, and if I can’t, as if I can’t be taken down. And now I’ve come down. But I feel fine. Instead of clutching the doorframe in disbelief, I’m walking on ice in the sunshine, watching the penguins, as if I have the gift of awakening dreams, the gift of sight, and everything’s flooding through but when I raise my arm to touch the story it immediately falls and I’m sitting modestly all of a sudden on my bed at two in the afternoon. I can’t go out. Essentially we are all one organism. Somehow. I’m high as a kite. Gotta stop doing this.
That’s it, the narcissist is offensive in the same way as someone who is high, locked into strange internal prison. Bad to come to a talk too, so I apologise for that and delete my rambling if you like but I do feel as if I learned a lot this week and especially this afternoon.
@Petra Van Deijl I’m so glad I found your videos and I can’t resonate more with everything you’ve said through this video and many others . My Covert Narcissist wife divorced me after 7+ years being together. There was no infidelity, no physical abuse, intimacy was plentiful all throughout the years, in-laws love me, her siblings love, everything seemed to be great with normal day to day issues. I was my wife’s first love, first husband, first everything, was with her during the death of her childhood dog and she was with me during the death of my fsther’s suicide. Everything seemed steady but towards the later years of our marriage, she’d make the smallest arguments out of nothing and after all the demeaning and provoking, I’d lash out and say some hurtful stuff. I take full responsibility for my actions and always apologize and showed remorse along with changing parts of me to help deal with my anger . But when we separated, I don’t know how or why, but she turned into a full blown Narcissist, Covert one since her friends and co workers don’t understand who she really is. The things she’s done, things she said have hurt a great deal and even her family doesn’t even recognize the person she’s become . I begged her to not give up on our marriage, I fought so hard to save us, and yet after all my desperate attempts and emotions, she filed for divorce without batting an eye. I was crushed. I’m still hurt and crushed, and our divorce isn’t even finalized yet but she says she’s already move on past the relationship and is done with her grieving process. I’m over here still hurt and continue to question how I couldn’t see this and how I could be so blind by being way too relationship focused. It hurts like hell, I can’t tell what was real or fake in my marriage now that I know her as being a Narcissist. I feel scammed, feels like it was never real, it was only a fantasy . Anyhow, I just wanted to say thank you for your videos as they truly help for those who are new to Narcissism. It’s only been 3.5 months since I learned about Narcissism and matched the missing puzzle pieces as to why I’m being treated the way I am and why she’s doing the things she does. So thank you for the helpful videos and please keep making them to help others like myself. Thank you.
My narcissist is on their smear campaign now. Only good thing about it is, we were long distance, so his "friends" didn't know me and my friends didn't know him. Our lives were very separate, so the only people he can tell are strangers who don't know who I am. Even on our social media, we kept that pretty separate, so I'm not too worried about his smear campaign. The only person who can even see it is a mutual friend of ours, well, more my friend, but she knows of him and they've interacted a bit. She knows he's lying because she was around during the relationship. The only funny/kind of sad thing is that she follows him on social media and she tells me about the stuff he posts, sometimes. One minute, he's talking about how great life is and all the new people he's meeting (dude couldn't keep a friend or girlfriend and has anxiety, so I know after three years, the time I knew him, of him barely being able to talk to people, he isn't doing it suddenly), then the next minute, he's talking about how he "lost" me and made the biggest mistake of his life, but then turns around and says how horrible and abusive I was. She says it just makes him seem crazy.
Thank you for this!! They want to destroy your qualities! I must have many as he practically destroyed me but I am rising again. And yes ... it’s been up and down and sometimes I have to breath really deep to get out of that emotional. I have no urge to get in touch with him! But never never ever will I find a ounce of compassion for them and I will never forgive him for all he did to me and my daughter!
Thank you. Thank you. I feel validated. I feel peaceful and havnt for weeks. . I feel sad cause I still love his wounded soul. And broken because of the disguard and his instan new supply that he is flaunting but your words are such a help.. I can't wait fo watch more and more of your videos. You have a beautiful calm wat of speaking to soul. Thank you so so muvh.xxxxxxx. love from Johanessburg South Africa
He had a dream at.my house...he said, What does it mean when you dream you are naked and hiding in the bushes?....i said..I know this one..i know this one! It means you are hiding and afraid of being exposed!....it got very quiet...them I said..Do you want to talk about it?...He said..No!!!
OMG. You are spot on. I am a Pisces woman and I was in a relationship with a Leo woman. She was to much. 4 years of rollercoaster toxic controlling manipulative selfish hateful person. I've never met anyone like that. I finally decided to move on after her breaking up with me 500+times within the 4 years. She would blow up for the dumbest reasons. My driving, me fixing the bed, my hair, everything. It was to much. I finally got my self worth back and I am happier now and gonna show her that she made a big mistake to treat me that way. I treated her like my queen of my jungle. I wanted to marry her and buy her a house. She said that I couldn't get anybody else and I should be lucky she picked me to date. Lol. I got it. It's all good. THANK YOU. THANK YOU. I thought I was going crazy
Yes, they are very fearful of being exposed of their false identity.
There comes a point when you just can't stand them anymore that you start inevitably, lashing out at them as they do to us. But for us it`s a way of survival, frustration, repressed feelings for far too long. Yes, we realise that we shouldn't`t have also because they will start pointing their finger at you and accusing you of being unstable... horrible relationships
That's happening to me right now! I am no longer sitting quietly taking it, and it makes me feel sick that I am pushed to react with anger and bitterness and anxiety! I will not back down anymore!
If you're unaware you're dealing with a narc, we don't realize that by lashing out we play right into their desires, we don't realize they not only enjoy getting us upset but that they are taking mental notes on how to further isolate and degrade us.
@@Ariels888 Hey, I just saw your comment. Please understand they enjoy and will weaponize this against you. There are many videos about how to deal with the anger they incite, but personally I recommend civil disobedience (politely say NO... stick to it, don't let them work you up they f'in love it.) Silent treatment- avoid eye contact, avoid playing into their bullshit attempts to get you to supply them, (it's all about control, getting them off, it's the only reason they interact with you) Let your yes mean yes and your no mean no (don't try sarcasm or sneak-dissing, they get off you're putting so much energy into your thoughts and actions toward them) Go STOIC. BEST OF LUCK FRIEND
Also you have to eventually make an exit-plan no matter who it is in your life. This is abuse. I had a few other things to add but my short term memory is shit.
@@stevensullivan5282 Thank you for your kind words Steven. I am in the process of starting over, again, but I am making sure that I am financially stable and secure, while keeping my family at a safe distance. Getting angry at them doesn't work, because they, my mother especially uses my anger against me, calling me "crazy" just like she did when I was a teenager and was catching on what she was doing to us. I know that it's a trigger for me, so staying away is best like you stated. I'm much happier and less anxious without them in my life. I seem to attract narssacistic men too, so I have cut out those males in my life who were not good people either. Having a good solid plan helps a lot. Thank you again for your kindness. It helps to know that I'm not alone. 😉
Totally agree.
I'm on my journey to healing. Thank the Lord!!! The devil is only using these types of people to steal, kill, and destroy the lives of others. They are evil and they know it, and if there is no change before they make it to their grave, then, they are looking towards an eternal damnation in the deepest parts of hell.
John Yin She's just angry John, and that anger is just going through the construct of her particular belief system. We all have our own constructs of belief. Let her have hers. She may not be ready to feel compassion yet. She's too hurt right now.
Kay Anne you are so right. People that try to defend these narcs saying that they are abused and need compassion are probably a narc themselves. Or they have never been a target of one. Because once you are, you will never feel compassion for them. The compassion is only for yourself, the victim, for healing. There's never an excuse for someone to abuse, exploit, and use someone. I have never personally seen a narcissist show compassion because they're not able to. I believe these are the individuals that are targeted by Satan himself. Uses them to try to break down the empaths because he can't do it without the narcs.
this is so right on! they can't handle healthy relationships
Yes, in my opinion they can't handle relationships AT ALL.
Well, I am vulnerable and gullible but with a deep and unique sense of dignity.
If you get close, their ugly side begins to creep out, they get uncomfortable and suspicious, they start to criticise you over little things, interpret everything as a dig, their paranoia creeps out and bites you in the butt... If you ever try to call them out or criticise their behaviour, it's silent treatment time (if covert narcissist) or rage time (if overt narcissist).... with a free trip to mind game central, blameshiftcity, deflectorville and project-a-thon 2000...
It's totally exhausting...
More than Can't Handle or Fear Of ...Healthy relationships....I consider that it is much more complex than this...they have NEVER LEARNED how to have a healthy relationship and thus don't have the SKILLS and interpersonal abilities to enter into healthy relationship function. As a result,....they self sabotage by destroying the relationships they have BEFORE the truth comes out which is that they are severely handicapped and disabled to give true love and empathy.... the truth is that they have total LACK of skill, ability, practice and exposure to healthy relationship dynamics. hence...self sabotage each and every single time...ending the relationship
These people can’t and won’t hold a good relationship they are evil people
I lost my urge to want to see the narcissist. It's more like a nauseating feeling now. I can't have the negative energy in my space, if at all I can help it.
Me 2!!! Feeling just ain't the same no more especially after he ghosted for 5 months over a conversation he couldn't win and control!!! I feel so proud of myself!!!
Same
creator that’s what it is. Pure negative energy.
If he is around me at times. I can't stand being around him. I'm like yuck. I kept saying to the Lord over and over before I broke up with him that I was losing a piece of myself every day. It was so draining. It was like he almost killed me in more then one way.
It`s like a broken spell. Any normal person would feel the same. Once I figured out I was dealing with a covert narc, my only desire was to run away inmediately. I knew it was all toxic and it could never be fixed,
They fear being exposed. He attempted to smear my character and played the victim. I did not care because those that know me, know the truth. I know the truth. Empower yourself and never mind what the narc says or does not say about you. Charge on!
It is hard when people act funny towards me. I know she has said horrible things about me. She has turned the tables and it's hard to admit I have been victimized.
I was one step ahead of the Narcissist. Yes, be one step ahead before ditching the crazy maker. I told everybody the truth about the narcissist. They want nothing to do with him. I'm free!! Almost 3 months no contact. I feel on top of the world! Aaahhhh..
Yes!!! More power to you!
In Italy saying"Non cantare Vittoria tropppo presto",means do not sing victory yet....If he is a Narcissist he comes back
Lucky you! To have good friends who believe you! I wish I could say the same
I tried to tell my family and friends about the way the Narcissist treated me. They don't believe me. They were showered with praises and expensive gifts from him and comment, "He doesn't display those behavior around us"
What's the pros and cons of finally leaving the narc
And it seems like they want you to apologise for being real
My narc ex friend feared boredom. Everything was about having a good time. Everything is fine as long as it is shallow and superficial. She does not like people getting too close. That is what happened to me and another person. We got too close (and we are also empaths) . We were devalued with public humiliation, totally blindsided. This narc gets away with stuff because she is very charming.
Mary Holton she fears "boredom" because she is unwilling to be still and look inward. Quiet, peaceful times are considered "boring" to narcos because they have to keep a constant false image often through distracting themselves by meaningless activity.
true. I've grown after each narc so much so it's transformative..that's why they are in our lives...once we heal we stop attracting them. the ego is the devil..the soul is god. ..so i suppose you can say it's a spiritual battle between the two... our lights too bright and they know it... it's why they want it put out. they may dim it for a while but it burns even brighter after.
they can't stand strength
Your videos always help me to trust my instincts more
so i can stay on MY journey
Thank You so much
Having compassion for narcissists is not good advice. Personally, I feel nothing for them. I don't care if they're hurting inside. I don't care if they have low self esteem deep down. I don't care if they're happy or sad. I don't care how they got to be that way. Whether they had spoilt love or bad potty training or beaten childhood. Or whether it's a genetic problem. A bug on my kitchen window is more interesting to me than a narcissist. 1g of compassion for a narcissist is 1g less for me or my friends. If they were hurt and asked for my help I would walk away and not look back. In the company of the narcissist I'm like the narcissist. Cold. Remote. Nothing there. Zip. Nada. Then when I'm with my friends I'm back on planet earth and return to my normal, friendly, loving self.
I hear you
I concur.
JackintheBox...great work, people make all types of excuses for the Devils and The Truth is they only have any type of reserve because they only fear JAIL, that they fear with all their being they can't handle being a prisoner but love to make prisoners of men...they'll kill you in the twinkling of an eye if they could.
I finally understand my ex husband was a narc.I'm so worried about my dear son.
wiz lady wishing you safety and a healing path for you and your son x
I finally had a chance to tell my narcissi she was a miserable sad lonely jealous demonic cobra snake full of venom. She went into a screaming rage and I could care less I was relieve to finally after all this year to stand up for myself now I'm done and look at the narcissist as a Rowling lion with no teeth just weak and now she know I know she weak and have no control and she hate it.
😊
Yes!!!
Charoletta I am so happy for you and proud you stood up for yourself!!! I called my close friend out on her abusive behavior too and she kept doing it and I ended the friendship. What's crazy is she sees her kid's dad as a narcissist and he is, but doesn't see her own self!
Charoletta77 "a miserable sad lonely jealous demonic cobra snake full of venom" - YAASS!! 😄 I gotta remember that one when confronting the narco pit viper I'm unfortunately dealing with!
J B
I put that one in the memory bank myself lol if she upsets me again she is going to hear it once and for all . Good luck out there and be safe
Thank u. I still love this person. I feel bad for them and I know they are not well. I love me more😁
Love the encouragement about healing. It’s a long path and worth every step
When things began to fall apart and I noticed that I got myself into a 1 sided relationship/friendship, I told the former narc in my life "this could be a healthy relationship". Shortly after, I was discarded. I also pushed this person away in my own way, despite having mixed feelings about it. Before I knew the true nature of narcissists, I was striving to establish proper communication and create a healthy relationship. I was thinking "we got off on the wrong foot," but this person just wasn't having it.
The Narcissist in my life has drained me to the core, I've been conditioned by them for many years I'm 43 years old & my first Narcissistic abuse started at 9 from one of my uncles and cousin.. and the rest is history... I cut most of them out of my lives some were much harder than others.. the last Narcissist is very violent... thank you Petra 🤗💚👸🏿🙏🏾
This video made me cry I guess I've been holding it in I'm so glad that person is out of my life but I have so many narcissistic people in my life but I'm glad that I removed them all no matter how long some it may be right now thank you
Sending you a warm hug dear lady xx
La Cross same, these people are so evil
“Vulnerable NOT Gullible!” That makes sense... that just makes more self-empowering sense!
The way you presented this information, really hit my soul! Things that were confusing have cleared up.... I am so grateful for truly seeing this light.
Thank you for letting me know that my good and bad days are normal. I have been wondering what was wrong with me. I would think, I felt so good yesterday so why do I feel all these emotions today? I will say that everyday teaches me something so I press forward and refuse to give up. Thanks for your help!
They are humans. Just as much as me and you. Distance is the best during the process of healing but you will have to forgive them. Love to you all you are all worthy. Xxxx
Forgive them, which is part of Your healing.Stay no contact.
They are humans yes@ But a human that is possessed with Evil at a level I wish I never experienced.
Msskei Hopson : True. At this point, I feel nothing for them. Absolutely nothing. Its him or me and I choose ME.
They are NOT human, they are demons walking amongst humans. Cast them into the abyss.
By their fruits you will know them.
Petra.
Thank you for your video.
It helps a lot.
I am going through this process.
There are still a lot of "bad days". Sometimes, I wish I were a narcissist - just switch off the feelings alltogether.
I am noticing very tiny steps of progress. The hardest part is imagining my life without him.
Somedays I feel like an idiot: he forgot about the whole relationship. And I am hurting.
I need to rebuild my life from the scratch again.
I am still feeling love for him.
But from time to time I get angry at him for erasing the whole situation as if it never took place.
I wish he felt the hurt. And was punished. But I do understand that they can never be punished likewise. As they cannot feel remorse.
It is a very hard and slow healing. And there are times when I want to walk out of the window and die.
A step ahead and a deep fall after.
I stand up and fall again.
But deep in my heart I started noticing the tiniest bits of real healing.
I understand more why my siblings are in denial, telling everyone what great parents we had. I guess the truth would cause too much shame, knowing that our parents were not very nice people, but wicked. My parents lived through my siblings (golden children), now my siblings are living as the extension of my parents. My parents looked successful, good and caring, but all lies.
Am sharing this 'Video' with 'Young Women' on CZcams who are going through all this and have no 'Support Group'. Your kind voice and spoken words, I 'Pray' will help bring 'Comfort' to them and they will 'Join' Your Channel. God Bless You...
I want to say that this is thee BEST video of your l have ever viewed. It hit home and explained so much of my everyday life. I'm dealing with sooooooo much pain right now. There are days that l just want to SCREAM to the top of my lungs. Days l spend crying my eyes out. I pray that one day l can be normal again with out him. But thank you! Thank you! Thank you! For all of your help!!!💕😪😤
Shirley How are you doing now ms. Shirley?
Yes i was in pain inable to function daily i nelieve i was possessed
I believe they ate demonic
you will be happy,heal for yourself.
Shirley Madiva two years ago... how are you now sis?
I had to cover my face because the realization is just to real. Everything u say is just so real & unbelievable I can't believe it how I didn't see it & God just showed it to me but to hear it like it happens is just surreal.
yes, i am not angelic but i lashed out as well cause narcissist caused that reaction... i have now calmed down... I am an empath and it's hard....
Great points
You know what you are talking about
Thank you
There’s an ugly grey area between narcissism, borderline personality disorder, Stockholm syndrome, ptsd & sometimes it’s difficult to know who’s who, which one is which. We’re all wearing a mask, narcs & victims alike. It’s so confusing, I often wonder if I am the narc. I’d love someone to fully address this topic in-depth.
Live Life do you feel remorse/guilt/introspect/think about the other's point of view in a non self serving way but because you can see yourself in the other (generally speaking)? If so, you're not an NPD.
Being around narcs, can affect the behavior of non narcs
Your response to their abuse of you is called reactive abuse_ where they projected their negative feelings onto u.
Your voice is so calming. Thank you thousands of times for making those videos.
Spot on. Thank you for this. Btw, your voice is so soothing.
I agree. :) It's like listening to a dear friend talking to you. There's a lot of empathy and compassion coming across in Petra's voice and that's very soothing.
im going thru healing process its very difficult its been 7 months now. thank you Petra for the time that you take to make this videos to help us recover from the narcisists discard.
Thank you for watching Alex. Give yourself time and have compassion for yourself and for what you have endured. Much love to you.
Lady u r so on point about these ungodly individuals..
i'm not convinced they are terrified of being exposed by the truth. Ive experienced the abusers delight of switching from abuser to victim. It was like one big game that had been played out many times. Maybe the abuser I experienced was leaning more towards sociopath than narc.
I have experienced this too. And the silence when you ask something that is uncomfortable to them and they just dont answer. What do you do in this case?
@@uk9383 Stop asking them. They don't care to give a truthful answer and probably never will. If they do actually one day respond, it will simply be more manipulation. Avoid them entirely if possible.
You just made my night by giving me an answer and shed great light tomy burning questions. 🎈
This is a brilliant talk. I’m completely restored, I wish she (from she and I) could share it with me, we could be anything we want. I feel massively enlightened all of a sudden.
@petra u said that yes we are all wounded individuals but the difference between us n narcs is that we choose to be compassionate. I don't think for one minute that every compassionate or empathetic person tries to/chooses to be that way. Some of us are soooo naturally empathetic and compassionate that even if we try to be revengeful we can't. Just speaking truth. It is like the kind factor: some people try to be nice and will even say, "I was just being nice". Whereas, some of us are just naturally kind cause kindness comes out of our pores .
I know it's been a year, but you said it right there. I hate being rude to people, so if I see some one being rude I just stand there thinking WTH why are they so rude, and suck it all in, it's passive. but if it was my parents and brothers I would have fought tooth and nail with them because they were so damn belittling to me all my life, so I know why I am a Empath, and I also know that makes me a better person than my parents and brothers
Fantastic video..I needed to hear this x
i love your energy
and kind words
This was very helpful to me because the Narcissist ex-friend communicated that she thinks of me every day with tears to my husband. Then she said she just can’t go any farther than that. Taking care of myself and no contact is still my new way to peace. Thank-you!
19:20 thank you Petra, it is so important that you say this. Every time I think of my narc, it makes me so mad that I start to consume myself. By showing, or even try to show compassion for them in my own mind, it makes it easier to deal with the pain they have caused. Je bent goed bezig, en een baken in mijn herstel. Dankjewel.
Petra, like you pointed out @ around 9:40, we have the capability to mimic the narc traits. Growing up with a narc mother, I was exposed to an over saturation of narcissistic behavior and abuse. Even though now I am an adult, I live my own life and no longer live with my mother, sometimes I have to catch myself on the things I say or how I say them to certain people. I will look back and say, that I was not at my best self when I lashed out at that person, that I could have expressed those words in a much more conductive way. This is because this is how I was taught how to communicate as a child when it came to expressing hurt or anger. I was only taught how to lash out, not how to be compassionate. Exposure to narcissistic abuse can pervert our true nature as empaths, but I think as long as we're aware and reflective on ourselves we can get the healing we need.
this is one of the best i have seen on the topic, thank you.
Yes, but we don't have to give our power away to any kind of toxic person. Maybe it can be a thin line of lashing out, but others need awareness of our boundaries even if they don't like it what they experience. They are on a totally different vibrational level. Better be carefull or you set yourself up for psychic attack. They are predators. They need our energy for their own survival.
Amazing video every word you said speaks to my soul and yes the narc wants everything I have my home my kids my life. I’m on the exit plan not long now and I’ll be free from this poisonous venom and I’m going run like the devil is chasing me and never look back. They will not stop they suck the soul your health and identity out of you. I loved every word you spoke and with such a gracious voice
This helps me so much been struggling with my healing every other day I’m up or down in the mind and heart.
I think this is by far the most loving approach I've found yet. Thank you for that.
Oh, Petra, I love you - thank you so much for this video. It was so helpful and healing to me! Thank you especially what you said around the 9 minute mark. I recently got out of a friendship with someone I thought was my best friend. I went through that whole "is it me or is it her?" thing. And I agonised over it because, I too lashed out at her at times, and she'd be sure to make me feel terrible for it. Which wasn't necessary, as I already felt terrible. But she had hurt me so terribly at times.
Her mind games were so subversive... she'd accuse me of doing the very things she was doing, but she'd always be able to tie it to something I had done, and that just messed with my head so freaking much. She kept promising to send me a thank you gift for all I'd done for her (I was helping her daily with online projects), but she never did. This went on for 7 months. After 3 months she said she'd send "two" for my birthday as an apology... I never got anything for my birthday... When I called her out on it, and said it had damaged trust for her to make promises and renege on them ... she flipped it back on me and said that I should have told her before how I felt, and my failure to do so had caused HER to mistrust me... saying I had 'triggered' her... I ended up apologising to her!!
But ... we talked daily, she called me her best friend, she seemed interested in my life and my wellbeing, so I just put all this down to her unique weirdness. Eventually I put it to her we should meet up in real life ... surely if we meet up in real life, she'd make an effort, it'll bring us closer together... I'd fly out to come see her, spend time with my bestie. She happily accepts and promises to spend much of the week hanging out with me!
So I get out there and... the first evening is okay, friendly enough (but, surprise surprise, she didn't get me that greeting gift we agreed to exchange). I let it slide so as to not spoil the mood. The next day, she tells me has a migraine, she can't meet ... she'll text later. Later, her husband is unwell, her mum is unwell... she has chores... she's noncommittal about whether we can meet up again... she'll text tomorrow. The next day. Keeps saying "we'll see" and "maybe" to questions about meeting up again... no sign of any regret, remorse, apology, empathy from her for my situation. Eventually I say, look, this isn't on. I call her out and say that she needs to honour her agreement to spend time with me, that's why I'm here after all, at great expense. She turns it back on me, saying I am trying to manipulate her, guilt trip her (but claiming everyone is ill isn't an attempt to manipulate me emotionally into letting her off the hook for flaking?). I say she's not being respectful or considerate, doesn't seem to care about me or my feelings at all. She dismisses my attempts to find a solution. She tells me to go home, she isn't seeing me.. she "doesn't need all this" or the burden of "entertaining" me. Tells me to go home but she'd "like to remain friends?"
I lose it at this point... she wants to treat me like this and thinks I'll remain her friend? So I'm angry, I'm bitter, I'm upset, I'm crying, I'm furious, I'm hurt.... I'm devastated (this is my 'best friend forever'!) ... I figure it's over anyway though, I have nothing to lose, so I "let her have it" ... I tell her hurt I feel, that I deserve better than this, I have been a loyal friend who has gone out of his way to support her and be there for her... now I need her, and where is she? I get angry and mad. She ignores my messages. I tell her she has a few days to sort things out or I'm going home and we're through. She blocks me... They cannot handle the truth about themselves, cannot self-reflect, cannot apologise, or own their own shit.
You have been a life line for me. Thank you dear human for reaching out to all us lost souls groping in the dark. Just your voice is healing alone.
Ok, good to know that the up and down feelings from day to day. Makes me feel better.
Hi Petra.....thank you for this video.....I feel that I am one of the blessed ones.....I am not angry or vengeful......I was in a 30 year relationship with a narc......I just broke from the soul tie 1 week ago due what I've learned through the internet....my last conversation with the narcissist lasted about 1 minute.....I stopped his gaslighting so fast, debunking his lies with facts he couldn't refute.....I've also been grey rocking him recently......he is seething with jealousy due to my successes and abundance.......I think the reason why I am so ambivalent and peaceful, is that I've been channeling my energies into my music and graphic arts.....working on my artwork is very cathartic.....🌌🙏
Oh wow your videos are so enlightening! I knew what I saw and felt me being an empath and something just wasn't right, but I just wasn't sure of the proper psychological term. Wow these people must not have a life to be so meticulously mentally vicious...like really ? who has the time to pre plan a mental attack, prey on people etc. Geez get a life!
Petra yes I suffered years of horrific abuse at the hands of my Covert Narcissist spouse. I now know why & this is very healing to me & Yes I have made a decision. I am going to forgive him my Covert Spouse for all of it. Yes forgive him and YES know now & have NO doubt in my mind that he did this abuse intentionally to me. That he plotted and planned all of it to destroy me and my life etc.. knowing this yes it's extremely painful NO doubt.etc. I do know now for my recovery & his if he is lucky enough his recovery I need to forgive him & mean it in my heart. Move on. Pray for him that he never does this abuse to anyone. That does not mean I will take him back and endure or suffer anymore abuse from him. No absolutely not as I told him I did NOT deserve any of your abuse to me. I did not deserve to be abused by you. Petra.. yes I love myself & know I never deserved any of this nor does anyone. No one none of us deserve to be abused. My ex became a Monster a Man I didn't know. A man that in no way can be a part of my life a happy, healthy & loving home. Yes this is a disorder no doubt! Thank you for all of your help.
You're helping so many lives with this video!
You have changed my life. I am so grateful. Bless you for the help you are giving to people.
this is the exact conclusion that i came to, i appreciate your videos they give me confidence and confirms to me that im not wrong.
I'm so grateful for discovering your channel!
Thank u Petra! great video)
Thank you Petra for your insight and great advice. This is a very worthwhile video to listen to.
This video is so good. Thank you for posting it. I'm not dealing with a narc, but it overlaps because of the person's ego.
Very insightful. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you for your great insight! Still trying to wrap my head around all this! Your videos are a great help to me...
Thank you for your genuineness. My favorite quality.
After all the hell I have gone through at work, it pleases me to learn of how unhappy and miserable my narcissistic boss truly is
Yes! Thats exactly how it is, Petra! Thank you♥️😘
Thanks for your kind words. I have experienced the gamut of emotions you mentioned. Healing one day at a time.👍🏾✅
Thanks Petra bless you 🙏🏼you helped someone today ✔️
Thank you💜
So insightful Petra. After 5 years of being with a narcissist she finished with me last week and told me she’d met someone else then just blocked me. Everything you’ve talked about in this video is familiar. Each day I watch one of your videos and each day I’m gaining strength. I can’t thank you enough. You saved my life when I didn’t want to carry on.
Wow, Sue. I am so humbled by your words. You've got this, trust yourself xxx
Petra Van Deijl ❤️❤️😊
Thank you so much. Beautiful video, very inspiring. Exactly what I needed to hear.
You are most welcome xx
Yes, it’s the shame of being taken down. This totally exposes why it’s not possible to have a relationship with someone who is frightened of you.
Or who doesn’t want you enough to trust you. Sad, because there’s only one way I really want this feeling to go - outwards, I want someone to accept it
Lovely, well expressed and helpful video. Thanks. x
I’m not surprised you’re smiling at the end of this video, you’re immensely inspiring, this talk is like the culmination of two days watching narcissism videos and it has put it all together so I feel as if inside I can master my inner space, and outside, as if I can tame the most destabilising fears I’ve ever encountered, and if I can’t, as if I can’t be taken down. And now I’ve come down. But I feel fine. Instead of clutching the doorframe in disbelief, I’m walking on ice in the sunshine, watching the penguins, as if I have the gift of awakening dreams, the gift of sight, and everything’s flooding through but when I raise my arm to touch the story it immediately falls and I’m sitting modestly all of a sudden on my bed at two in the afternoon. I can’t go out. Essentially we are all one organism. Somehow. I’m high as a kite. Gotta stop doing this.
That’s it, the narcissist is offensive in the same way as someone who is high, locked into strange internal prison. Bad to come to a talk too, so I apologise for that and delete my rambling if you like but I do feel as if I learned a lot this week and especially this afternoon.
It's not rambling, it's expressing your truth.
Wow, your sensitive approach blesses my heart. Thank you for showing us your strength.
Love and courage to you xx
@Petra Van Deijl I’m so glad I found your videos and I can’t resonate more with everything you’ve said through this video and many others
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My Covert Narcissist wife divorced me after 7+ years being together. There was no infidelity, no physical abuse, intimacy was plentiful all throughout the years, in-laws love me, her siblings love, everything seemed to be great with normal day to day issues. I was my wife’s first love, first husband, first everything, was with her during the death of her childhood dog and she was with me during the death of my fsther’s suicide. Everything seemed steady but towards the later years of our marriage, she’d make the smallest arguments out of nothing and after all the demeaning and provoking, I’d lash out and say some hurtful stuff. I take full responsibility for my actions and always apologize and showed remorse along with changing parts of me to help deal with my anger
.
But when we separated, I don’t know how or why, but she turned into a full blown Narcissist, Covert one since her friends and co workers don’t understand who she really is. The things she’s done, things she said have hurt a great deal and even her family doesn’t even recognize the person she’s become
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I begged her to not give up on our marriage, I fought so hard to save us, and yet after all my desperate attempts and emotions, she filed for divorce without batting an eye. I was crushed. I’m still hurt and crushed, and our divorce isn’t even finalized yet but she says she’s already move on past the relationship and is done with her grieving process. I’m over here still hurt and continue to question how I couldn’t see this and how I could be so blind by being way too relationship focused. It hurts like hell, I can’t tell what was real or fake in my marriage now that I know her as being a Narcissist. I feel scammed, feels like it was never real, it was only a fantasy
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Anyhow, I just wanted to say thank you for your videos as they truly help for those who are new to Narcissism. It’s only been 3.5 months since I learned about Narcissism and matched the missing puzzle pieces as to why I’m being treated the way I am and why she’s doing the things she does. So thank you for the helpful videos and please keep making them to help others like myself. Thank you.
Wow you are spot on!!! Thank you xx
I love listening to your calm soothing voice thank you
You are so Amazing!!! I absolutely love your Content. Keep the videos coming, much ❤
My narcissist is on their smear campaign now. Only good thing about it is, we were long distance, so his "friends" didn't know me and my friends didn't know him. Our lives were very separate, so the only people he can tell are strangers who don't know who I am. Even on our social media, we kept that pretty separate, so I'm not too worried about his smear campaign. The only person who can even see it is a mutual friend of ours, well, more my friend, but she knows of him and they've interacted a bit. She knows he's lying because she was around during the relationship. The only funny/kind of sad thing is that she follows him on social media and she tells me about the stuff he posts, sometimes. One minute, he's talking about how great life is and all the new people he's meeting (dude couldn't keep a friend or girlfriend and has anxiety, so I know after three years, the time I knew him, of him barely being able to talk to people, he isn't doing it suddenly), then the next minute, he's talking about how he "lost" me and made the biggest mistake of his life, but then turns around and says how horrible and abusive I was. She says it just makes him seem crazy.
Brilliant Petra. Just what I needed to hear. X
thanks for this video
Thank you for this!! They want to destroy your qualities! I must have many as he practically destroyed me but I am rising again. And yes ... it’s been up and down and sometimes I have to breath really deep to get out of that emotional. I have no urge to get in touch with him! But never never ever will I find a ounce of compassion for them and I will never forgive him for all he did to me and my daughter!
Thank you. Thank you. I feel validated. I feel peaceful and havnt for weeks. . I feel sad cause I still love his wounded soul. And broken because of the disguard and his instan new supply that he is flaunting but your words are such a help.. I can't wait fo watch more and more of your videos. You have a beautiful calm wat of speaking to soul. Thank you so so muvh.xxxxxxx. love from Johanessburg South Africa
He had a dream at.my house...he said, What does it mean when you dream you are naked and hiding in the bushes?....i said..I know this one..i know this one! It means you are hiding and afraid of being exposed!....it got very quiet...them I said..Do you want to talk about it?...He said..No!!!
I love it the way u speak. Calmly, with smile, with peace 🙈
You are amazing. Love your videos. Thank you 🙏
Your voice is very soothing... thanks for sharing. 💕
Absolutely right M'mm. Thank you for your wonderful educating informative videos. Your videos have been great help. May God continue to bless you.
Really good video. Thanks for sharing. God bless!
Dankjewel voor deze inzichten!!!
thanks wonderful video
Thank you so much. Ive found so much clarity with this
You're most welcome x
you have such a calming voice
You talk very well about this problem.
OMG. You are spot on. I am a Pisces woman and I was in a relationship with a Leo woman. She was to much. 4 years of rollercoaster toxic controlling manipulative selfish hateful person. I've never met anyone like that. I finally decided to move on after her breaking up with me 500+times within the 4 years. She would blow up for the dumbest reasons. My driving, me fixing the bed, my hair, everything. It was to much. I finally got my self worth back and I am happier now and gonna show her that she made a big mistake to treat me that way. I treated her like my queen of my jungle. I wanted to marry her and buy her a house. She said that I couldn't get anybody else and I should be lucky she picked me to date. Lol. I got it. It's all good.
THANK YOU. THANK YOU. I thought I was going crazy
Thank you for such great advice.
Narcs always want their way.
They must control
Thank you for this video. I wasn’t aware of NPD until recently