Miscellaneous Myths: The Five Suns

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  • čas přidán 6. 06. 2024
  • Everybody loves a good creation myth. The Aztecs loved it so much they did it five whole times! I'd call it "overkill", but compared to all the other stuff the aztecs believed, four mythical extinction events is actually remarkably tame.
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Komentáře • 3,9K

  • @andysmith5806
    @andysmith5806 Před 3 lety +5870

    I feel bad for their water god. She cried because she was accused of not loving her humans. That’s heartbreakingly adorable.

    • @Meepantor
      @Meepantor Před 2 lety +130

      Truly it is

    • @arianewinter4266
      @arianewinter4266 Před 2 lety +177

      . . . she cried for several years drowning them all so maybe the acusation was right

    • @Meepantor
      @Meepantor Před 2 lety +441

      @@arianewinter4266 the world had never flooded before how was she supposed to know they couldn't swim?

    • @arianewinter4266
      @arianewinter4266 Před 2 lety +97

      @@Meepantor beeing able to swim and beeing able to swim for several years are compleatly different things. Beside swiming, the flood would also have destroyed the fields, killed the crops and probably killed even the fish . . .

    • @Meepantor
      @Meepantor Před 2 lety +184

      @@arianewinter4266 I'm aware, it was a joke, although the thought could be stretched into plausibility. Obviously the result is horrific, but the fact that a goddess was so upset about being accused of not liking her humans is the heartbreaking adorable part.

  • @tinchosabala
    @tinchosabala Před 5 lety +3167

    >Flying serpent
    >Trips
    Logic at its finest.

    • @notpulverman9660
      @notpulverman9660 Před 5 lety +217

      I saw an owl trip trying to fly a rabbit up a tree.
      It's not technically a trip since nothing is blocking a foot, but functions the same and looks the same.
      The animal is unable to lift off with the extra weight, and stumbles, often pivoting on the foot(where the extra weight is).

    • @tinchosabala
      @tinchosabala Před 5 lety +30

      Not Pulverman, can a god be classified as animal?

    • @ASquared544
      @ASquared544 Před 5 lety +79

      @@tinchosabala Yes, take a look at Zeus, he's basically a (insert animal that f***'s a lot here)

    • @christopherg2347
      @christopherg2347 Před 5 lety +61

      @@ASquared544 Now now. Even Rabbits do not multiply *that* much. Plus Zeus likes to keep it to "one child per animal form".

    • @notpulverman9660
      @notpulverman9660 Před 5 lety +16

      @@tinchosabala Irrelevant, but often, yes.

  • @Volvith
    @Volvith Před 4 lety +8061

    "So yeah, in the Aztec cosmology, the Earth itself is a starving primeval monster that wants nothing more than to eat everything at all times..."
    That... Actually explains a lot.

    • @alexiswelsh5821
      @alexiswelsh5821 Před 4 lety +225

      Like all the sacrafices

    • @tomwolf2009
      @tomwolf2009 Před 4 lety +15

      How?

    • @juliaguevara4512
      @juliaguevara4512 Před 4 lety +104

      TomWolf200 they sacrifice a couple of people every week

    • @leandroperezfelix78
      @leandroperezfelix78 Před 4 lety +262

      Well the explication of the crocodile mout earth is simple, if you know about the relieve of central mexico, there's a fuck ton of mountains and volcans, and the capital of the aztec empire was in a lake, surrounded by five mountains with cool history's like the iztazihuatl and the popocatepet

    • @leandroperezfelix78
      @leandroperezfelix78 Před 4 lety +59

      And the sacrifice were special, not for everyone, this were created for the cautives of other city's and great's general's

  • @jeronicashaynemangalus7530
    @jeronicashaynemangalus7530 Před 4 lety +4469

    Greek gods: Dammit, Zeus!
    Aztec gods: Dammit, Tez!

  • @phanost13
    @phanost13 Před 5 lety +3203

    Quetzalcoatl: "Tez, could you not keep ruining the world FOR FIVE MINUTES?!?!"

  • @pantalimon3275
    @pantalimon3275 Před 5 lety +2679

    "Blood sacrifices keep the planet from eating your feet."
    Noted.

  • @Cobalt360Degrees
    @Cobalt360Degrees Před 4 lety +5426

    Tezcatlipoca: "You ungrateful humans!"
    Quetzalcoatl: *"NO NOT MY BABIES."*

    • @Fisinocean
      @Fisinocean Před 3 lety +261

      The most dysfunctional sibling duo of all time

    • @Corviidei
      @Corviidei Před 3 lety +113

      Thor and Loki energy

    • @robbieaulia6462
      @robbieaulia6462 Před 3 lety +83

      @@Corviidei Thor and Loky can still put their differents aside sometimes, but not Tezcatlipoca

    • @mrjoe332
      @mrjoe332 Před 3 lety +103

      @@robbieaulia6462 Loki is currently inside a cave, tied to a rock with snake venom dripping over his face. All differences are indeed put aside I guess

    • @olivetreewhimsy2016
      @olivetreewhimsy2016 Před 3 lety +16

      @@mrjoe332 keyword sometimes

  • @redwitch12
    @redwitch12 Před 4 lety +2366

    The rain of jaguars accompanied by "MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW" cracked me up.

    • @akashijamoka
      @akashijamoka Před 3 lety +33

      It reminds me of SPLAT SPLAT SPLAT SPLAT SPLAT SPLAT SPLAT

    • @sarahamira5732
      @sarahamira5732 Před 3 lety +45

      I read the "meows" as the jingle form the meow mix cat food and I'm CRYING

    • @redwitch12
      @redwitch12 Před 3 lety +11

      @@sarahamira5732 Now I can't un-hear that!

    • @prestonjones1653
      @prestonjones1653 Před 3 lety +12

      Idk what sound Jaguars make but cheetahs meow and they look like jaguars so I'm going with this as canon.

    • @mistymoooooor
      @mistymoooooor Před 3 lety +7

      Aka my cat in the morning

  • @satsfallingdown
    @satsfallingdown Před 5 lety +3636

    "This game sucks, nerf this"
    "Yeah let's just restart"
    "It's not working"
    "Just try again"

    • @dreamchaser3012
      @dreamchaser3012 Před 5 lety +69

      That's me playing any RPG. "Hmm... This is getting kind of boring. I bet that if I start all over again with everything I know now, I'll have much more fun."
      Deletes save file.

    • @dragonflight2468
      @dragonflight2468 Před 5 lety +19

      Oh hey, Final Fantasy 14

    • @theweakestbrazilianmale3398
      @theweakestbrazilianmale3398 Před 5 lety +11

      Oh hey me playing super mario rpg

    • @jaydenliberty9536
      @jaydenliberty9536 Před 5 lety +42

      Any Civilization game that goes poorly. And I don’t mean “aw I wanted to make a City there” poorly, I mean “I got too focused on everything but my military and now literally everyone I know is declaring war on me on Turn 30 of 3000” poorly

    • @soldiersPL
      @soldiersPL Před 5 lety +22

      If Aztecs were reincarnated instead of being re-created every time,that would make it Dark Souls of mythologies

  • @trailguidealex5010
    @trailguidealex5010 Před 5 lety +8286

    This entire myth sounds like college students working on a group project

    • @artofmaryanas498
      @artofmaryanas498 Před 5 lety +614

      This is the most accurate description of this myth I've ever seen

    • @greenergrass4060
      @greenergrass4060 Před 5 lety +154

      I know and I love it

    • @pastelhotmess9299
      @pastelhotmess9299 Před 5 lety +218

      Back to the DRAWING BOARD

    • @lunaequinox7333
      @lunaequinox7333 Před 5 lety +212

      I'm Xipe Totet…
      That one person who's there in the background wanting to die and/or kill everyone

    • @KBJade39
      @KBJade39 Před 4 lety +183

      Yeah dont you just hate it when the 'that guy' of the group seduces the project leader because he wanted to be leader.

  • @firebrand723
    @firebrand723 Před 4 lety +3634

    So aztec mythology has a giant snake who’s brother is a dog
    And Norse mythology has a giant serpent whose brother is a wolf

    • @despinasgarden.4100
      @despinasgarden.4100 Před 4 lety +246

      Now that You mentioned it.... Wow You right

    • @firebrand723
      @firebrand723 Před 3 lety +62

      I’m just glad people like this comment

    • @Valigarmanda
      @Valigarmanda Před 3 lety +116

      that one time Loki got pregged by a stallion.

    • @awkwardleaf2277
      @awkwardleaf2277 Před 2 lety +88

      Question, in this video red says that Quetzalcoatl and huitzilopochlt were spontaneously created by um... that fertility god/goddess, but in a previous miscellaneous myth video she says that the two were born from (essentially) Mother Nature... which in this video is represented by that... jacobs latter with mouths on each limbs monster. Is this kinda of a situation similar to Eros? Where Eros is both this primordial entity greater than the gods, but also Aphrodite’s son.

    • @sortagoodish8491
      @sortagoodish8491 Před 2 lety +18

      Guess its just part of being totally metal, then.

  • @francescapatti2934
    @francescapatti2934 Před 4 lety +2832

    The sun: exists
    Tezcatlipoca: *anger noises*
    The other gods: oh shit, here we go again.
    World: ends

    • @Somehowstillkicking
      @Somehowstillkicking Před 4 lety +24

      Francesca Patti Hotel: Trivalgo

    • @BawonoSA173
      @BawonoSA173 Před 4 lety +25

      Especially Quetzalcoatl: "Ah, shit! Here we go again. Worst time of the new era: new sun, Tez relapse. And I ain't left the humans for 5 years! But Tez won't give a shit"

    • @JimmehRulez
      @JimmehRulez Před 4 lety

      Egg

    • @X-Ternal
      @X-Ternal Před 3 lety

      *Tonatiuh has entered the chat*

    • @redhattoons9357
      @redhattoons9357 Před rokem +1

      Tonatiuh and huitzilopochtli: not so fast tezcatlipoca

  • @andrewkim9848
    @andrewkim9848 Před 5 lety +4758

    So, the Aztec gods were basically different game developers having discourse over the same game

    • @purplehaze2358
      @purplehaze2358 Před 5 lety +225

      "ThE wOrLd Is A sImUlAtIoN" -I don't know, some degenerate

    • @FranktheSkeleton
      @FranktheSkeleton Před 5 lety +129

      Final Fantasy XV Behind the Scenes Production (2006-2016)

    • @feyefall4855
      @feyefall4855 Před 5 lety +167

      Or a bunch of siblings playing with and breaking the figures their big brother put together and keeps having to fix.

    • @narvuntien
      @narvuntien Před 5 lety +44

      Just like the Anthem developers, explains why our world is so damn boring and grindy.

    • @ravenstone3436
      @ravenstone3436 Před 5 lety +105

      It's a bunch of kids on a shared Minecraft creative server.
      ...And they all discovered command blocks.

  • @entr3_nou5
    @entr3_nou5 Před 5 lety +5644

    This myth in a brief sentence: “Dammit, Tezcatlipoca!”

    • @september1717
      @september1717 Před 4 lety +60

      Exactly

    • @heyy86
      @heyy86 Před 4 lety +27

      SyrinxPriest2112 honestly....... I damn right agree

    • @gulsanara2644
      @gulsanara2644 Před 4 lety +15

      True

    • @noahjohnson935
      @noahjohnson935 Před 4 lety +69

      Tlaloc has it rough.
      Tetzlalipoca seduces his first wife and harasses his second.

    • @nionashborn7626
      @nionashborn7626 Před 4 lety +21

      He seems a bit like a Loki type to me.

  • @elementsfanfics3859
    @elementsfanfics3859 Před 3 lety +682

    Aztec Mythology: * exists *
    H.P. Lovecraft: * horrified screaming *

    • @BLZ231
      @BLZ231 Před 3 lety +142

      Anything: * exists *
      H.P. Lovecraft: * horrified screaming *

    • @coffeewolfproductions9113
      @coffeewolfproductions9113 Před 2 lety +108

      @@BLZ231 Anything that isn't his hometown of Providence Rode Island: * exists *
      H.P. Lovecraft: * horrified screaming *

    • @AnNguyen-sm4bu
      @AnNguyen-sm4bu Před 2 lety +78

      Modern Providence, Rhode Island: *Exists*
      H.P. Lovecraft: *Horrified Screaming*

    • @emmabyrne9274
      @emmabyrne9274 Před 2 lety +54

      Brown people: *exist*
      H.P. Lovecraft: *horrified screaming*

    • @pranavr4017
      @pranavr4017 Před rokem +42

      Math: *exists*
      H.P. Lovecraft: (Scream filled screaming)

  • @d4n737
    @d4n737 Před 3 lety +1026

    We kind of stopped worrying about the sun. I mean, It's an eldrich abomination by all standards:
    - Looking at it burns your eyes and causes damage,
    - Old beyond human race,
    - Shapeless giant floating through space, flogging it's fire tentacles
    - Always screaming, yet nobody can hear it
    - We used to worship it... Like a lot.
    - Actually mindless.

    • @camramaster
      @camramaster Před rokem +121

      Our lovecraftian Sol

    • @d4n737
      @d4n737 Před rokem +97

      @@camramaster Our cute friend-shaped ball of torment

    • @georgeuferov1497
      @georgeuferov1497 Před rokem +142

      - Constantly showers us with deadly rays, some of which are repelled by the giant barrier created by an ancient creatures

    • @JuanLeon-oe6xe
      @JuanLeon-oe6xe Před rokem +2

      -It's literally a nuclear furnace.
      -True color (white) which cannot be grasped from our puny planet.
      -Will end as an even _larger_ sphere of over-heated plasma (this being ionized _gas_) big enough to swallow Earth in a single bite, then a tiny ball of "burnt" iron/etc.
      -Literally all (almost all?) life on Earth is extremelly dependant on it.
      -It's influence goes a distance equal to that of light traveled... in a year.
      -Has the capacity to fry computing equipment.
      Edit: youtube format, added last one.

    • @joewoods532
      @joewoods532 Před rokem +73

      I remember hearing somewhere that the noise the sun produces is so loud that if we could hear it, it would cause physical injury

  • @Indigo_404
    @Indigo_404 Před 5 lety +4483

    “Our lord the flayed one”? Sounds like a dark souls boss

    • @Nightfire613
      @Nightfire613 Před 4 lety +235

      Now I want a Souls style game based on mezzo American mythology, ala Sekiro

    • @DanielSmith-mp4le
      @DanielSmith-mp4le Před 4 lety +138

      @@Nightfire613 I mean Dark Souls is already basically that they're sacrificing themselves in a fire in order to become the Sun and prevented the darkness from rising not to mention other Mesoamerican like influences I don't think it was intentional on the Creator's part but there is a lot of Mesoamerican stuff in Dark Souls and even more in Bloodborne.

    • @festethephule7553
      @festethephule7553 Před 4 lety +51

      @@DanielSmith-mp4le
      Ah, but not aesthetically.

    • @DanielSmith-mp4le
      @DanielSmith-mp4le Před 4 lety +26

      @@festethephule7553 I am more interested in thematically interesting worlds than aesthetically interesting worlds Looking cool only goes so far. And besides I don't think that From Software is is capable of pulling off a mesoamerican souls like, the only video games that I've seen that even reference Aztec mythology with even a shred of accuracy are Persona and Smite and that last one sucks.

    • @festethephule7553
      @festethephule7553 Před 4 lety +14

      @@DanielSmith-mp4le
      Who said anything about From Software? They don't have a monopoly on souls-likes.

  • @ultimateanimation7118
    @ultimateanimation7118 Před 5 lety +2821

    'Let's file that under yikes'
    That describes 90% of all mythology.

    • @KnittingGirl28
      @KnittingGirl28 Před 5 lety +55

      Good thing woman bleed alot anyway, would this be the Aztec's reason for why woman have their monthly cycle? Just a thought

    • @lordfelidae4505
      @lordfelidae4505 Před 5 lety +67

      KnittingGirl28 let’s file that under yikes.

    • @tobygreen6661
      @tobygreen6661 Před 5 lety +20

      No no, more like “ holy applesauce who the heck though this was a good idea”

    • @KnittingGirl28
      @KnittingGirl28 Před 5 lety +5

      @@tobygreen6661 W-wha?

    • @tobygreen6661
      @tobygreen6661 Před 5 lety +12

      KnittingGirl28 , holy applesauce is my substitute for curse words

  • @purplehaze2358
    @purplehaze2358 Před 2 lety +1174

    Greek: The grossest mythology.
    Norse: The most badass mythology.
    Aztec: _I fear no _*_mythology._*_ But that thing…it scares me._

    • @Jjonahlamison
      @Jjonahlamison Před rokem +28

      What about Egyptian mythology

    • @templarianthefirst9022
      @templarianthefirst9022 Před rokem +71

      @@Jjonahlamison the wackiest mythology

    • @that..1.lil_freak
      @that..1.lil_freak Před rokem +77

      Indian Mythology: WAY too confusing to be a mythology
      That is coming from a hindu, haha 😭👍

    • @carterdunlap9957
      @carterdunlap9957 Před rokem +6

      @@templarianthefirst9022 Now, describe Mayan myths!

    • @carterdunlap9957
      @carterdunlap9957 Před rokem +36

      @@that..1.lil_freak Chinese myths: SEXY LADY DEMONS THIS WAY!! YES THIS IS MY OPINION ON PRINCESS IRON FAN!

  • @moredetonation3755
    @moredetonation3755 Před 4 lety +959

    "Our Lord the Flayed One?" The Aztecs had no chill.

    • @jesusmora9379
      @jesusmora9379 Před 4 lety +102

      our lord the crucified one

    • @wessmoore7894
      @wessmoore7894 Před 4 lety +31

      I see that the Boltons got out of Westeros.

    • @usermaatrasetepenre4125
      @usermaatrasetepenre4125 Před 4 lety +63

      eat the meat and blood of our messias -christians

    • @silentspirit8923
      @silentspirit8923 Před 4 lety +16

      @@wessmoore7894 They probably worshiped the Flayed One before the Starks came along.

    • @PeachyBeins
      @PeachyBeins Před 4 lety +27

      @@usermaatrasetepenre4125 and what of it? Maybe spiritual cannibalism is just our culture k? Lol Christianity is a lot more metal when you actually compare and contrast with other religions. Like our God is brutally tortured and dies horribly his abuses propped up corpse is our symbol and we pseudo cannibalize him by drinking his blood and eating his flesh, and we'rejust like seems fine to me!
      I remember watching a Viking historical movie years ago i think it had hammer in the title(if you know the name pls tell me)During the opening narration the viking chief talks about the new Christians coming in to their land "eating flesh drinking blood barbaric" and that line has stuck with me foryears
      - a Christian

  • @Fleance_Snowflower
    @Fleance_Snowflower Před 5 lety +6214

    what I learned from this: Quetzalcoatl is a good god snek

    • @konnosx1213
      @konnosx1213 Před 5 lety +846

      Choose a best friend:
      *-Tezcalipoca*
      > Has pet Jaguar
      > Top notch prankster
      *-Coyolxauqui*
      > Goth girl
      > Topless
      > Misunderstood
      *-Hitzlipotchli*
      > Gym bro
      > Will get in a fight (and win) for you
      > Uses human hearts as steroids
      *-Coatlicue*
      > Casual hippie
      > Her house is probably messier then yours
      *-Quetzalcoat*
      > he loves you

    • @treebeexyz6839
      @treebeexyz6839 Před 5 lety +111

      @@konnosx1213 I love this so much

    • @nathanstultz3434
      @nathanstultz3434 Před 4 lety +265

      @@konnosx1213 while a topless goth girl is tempting, I must follow my heart and go with the good snek

    • @ponylover2206
      @ponylover2206 Před 4 lety +121

      Feathery danger noodle * chuckles *

    • @cheesecakelasagna
      @cheesecakelasagna Před 4 lety +39

      I'm familiar with Quetzalcoatl because of Persona.

  • @haydenc7826
    @haydenc7826 Před 5 lety +1904

    All takes is one guy to screw up a group project

  • @Clawdragoons
    @Clawdragoons Před 4 lety +2870

    "Dips the bones in his blood"
    I like how you avoid mentioning where the blood came from. For those not in the know, Quetzalcoatl stuck a thorn in his penis and bled all over the bones.
    This is my favorite creation myth so I remember that detail off the top of my head.

    • @laundrewashington3734
      @laundrewashington3734 Před 3 lety +316

      Omg lol smh I don't know rather to say if that's sweet and wholesome or disgusting so I'll say both.

    • @dreameater8548
      @dreameater8548 Před 3 lety +39

      Care to explain how a serpent has dong?

    • @Clawdragoons
      @Clawdragoons Před 3 lety +347

      @@dreameater8548 Actual snakes have penises. Hemipenises, actually, so double dongs.
      I'm confused. Did you just assume that snakes don't have penises? And then not check? I don't understand why you would do this.

    • @dreameater8548
      @dreameater8548 Před 3 lety +163

      @@Clawdragoons i have reread this now and I can explain it
      It was 4 in the morning and I was not thinking straight
      Also, I'm studying Biology so I actually know snakes have something penis-like to procreate
      I can't even begin to comprehend how high I was last night sorry

    • @Clawdragoons
      @Clawdragoons Před 3 lety +168

      @@dreameater8548 No big deal, we all have our moments. Sleepy brains do silly things.

  • @realmenevertobeseen5992
    @realmenevertobeseen5992 Před 3 lety +160

    I just realized that Tezcatlipoca starts all of the conflicts, because he's the god of conflict

  • @floris2971
    @floris2971 Před 5 lety +2454

    Rain of jaguars sounds like one of the most epic apocalypses

    • @fefeman2856
      @fefeman2856 Před 5 lety +138

      That sound like a JRPG attack.

    • @naruarthur
      @naruarthur Před 5 lety +169

      it only works because they are cats and fall on their feet, if it was a wolf rain or other non-feline animal they would just die on the groun and skill people that forgot their umbrellas

    • @broganlopez2907
      @broganlopez2907 Před 5 lety +47

      It also sounds like a cool band name and dibs

    • @angeliparraguirre7329
      @angeliparraguirre7329 Před 5 lety +18

      Its the mystical jaguar of Hogwarts, of course, of course

    • @PhoenixOfKaos420
      @PhoenixOfKaos420 Před 5 lety +25

      It’s metal as hell XD

  • @thelegend8570
    @thelegend8570 Před 5 lety +565

    The earth: **Earthquake**
    Aztec gods: stfu already we said we'l feed you when it's dinner time.

    • @robinchesterfield42
      @robinchesterfield42 Před 4 lety +69

      The Earth in these myths sounds like a cross between an eldritch slumbering horror and my cat batting at me every fifteen minutes, I swear...

    • @Scifoki
      @Scifoki Před 3 lety +7

      @@robinchesterfield42 that's why they are not favorite

  • @Casuallyartisticaviator
    @Casuallyartisticaviator Před 4 lety +341

    Aztec Gods: So how many times do you want to destroy the world?
    Tezcatlipoca: *Y E S*

  • @dank_smirk2ndchannel200
    @dank_smirk2ndchannel200 Před 4 lety +767

    I like to imagine that the whole "four are called the Tezcatlipocas but only one is named Tezcatlipoca" is kind of like the Mario bros situation. They’re called the Mario bros but only one has Mario as a first name. So their names might be something like "Tezcatlipoca Tezcatlipoca", "Xipe Totec Tezcatlipoca", "Huitzilopochtli Tezcatlipoca", and "Quetzalcoatl Tezcatlipoca", like how Mario is called "Mario Mario" and Luigi is called "Luigi Mario". It makes sense (at least to me) considering that they’re all brothers.

    • @DeltaOdyssey
      @DeltaOdyssey Před 3 lety +79

      unrelated, but I was very surprised when I learned that Mario's last name was Mario.

    • @dank_smirk2ndchannel200
      @dank_smirk2ndchannel200 Před 3 lety +100

      @@DeltaOdyssey if I remember right that whole thing came from the Mario Bros Movie. People then joked about it for years until Nintendo one day just decided to basically make it canon. It's essentially a canon meme.

    • @DeltaOdyssey
      @DeltaOdyssey Před 3 lety +29

      @@dank_smirk2ndchannel200 before that, I thought his last name was supposed to be video, since his original name was supposed to be Mr. Video, and since another one of his titles was "jumpman", I thought his full name was "Mario Jumpman Video".

    • @mohammedyousef4005
      @mohammedyousef4005 Před 3 lety +23

      @@dank_smirk2ndchannel200 i personally like to think that they had a competition to see who get's to choose the name and tez ended up winning

    • @urielrosenzweig4315
      @urielrosenzweig4315 Před 3 lety +22

      Yeah, Mario's canon name is Mario Jumpman Mario... Nintendo is weird

  • @537monster
    @537monster Před 5 lety +1745

    I just love the idea of this all powerful serpent god getting pissed off and walking down to the underworld to just get all of his humans back.
    He’s just like “the shit I do because of Tezcalipoca”

  • @zacharyscovel1017
    @zacharyscovel1017 Před 5 lety +817

    Sinkholes are just the Earth's way of saying "Feed me, Seymour!"

    • @jeffersjerb8998
      @jeffersjerb8998 Před 4 lety +31

      Why is there smoke coming out of your oven, Seymour?

    • @OttoGraff-fu8pj
      @OttoGraff-fu8pj Před 4 lety +31

      Ah, superintendent Quetzalcoatl, I was just.. stretching my calves on the windowsill, care to join me?
      Why is there smoke coming out of your oven, Tezcalipoca?
      It’s not smoke, is steam! Steam from the sacrifices! Mmm, sacrifices

    • @Differentad-mq9tk
      @Differentad-mq9tk Před 4 lety +4

      Quetzalcoatl flies out

    • @davidegaruti2582
      @davidegaruti2582 Před 4 lety +5

      "I am just a big crocodile mother from primordial space , and you got me fine starved "

    • @shosty575
      @shosty575 Před 4 lety +2

      Ah a PJ and Heroes of Olympus reference!!

  • @gregthesalad495
    @gregthesalad495 Před 4 lety +231

    So basically it's not Satan trying to eat my feet when I turn the lights off in my room, it's a primordial Eldritch alligator that became the earth? Sounds about right

  • @LumiLanStudios
    @LumiLanStudios Před 4 lety +385

    Xipe Totec: That one god everyone thinks is scary and the one with the braincell
    Tezcatlipoca: The trickster bipolar sometimes cool sometimes screws up one
    Quetzalcoatl: The Prometheus and AWWW HUMANS one
    Huitzilopotchli: The jock who drinks respect mother juice and sometimes has the braincell
    Tlaloc: The nerd antisocial one who may or may not had been there also.
    (I added Tlaloc because in some myths he was the 4th son of Ometeotl instead of Huitzilopotchli so it seemed right)

    • @scp--297
      @scp--297 Před 2 lety +7

      🤣 Nice.

    • @enderuzhumaki
      @enderuzhumaki Před 2 lety +2

      Cipactli: Obligatory evil Satan-like god.

    • @graememontrose1741
      @graememontrose1741 Před rokem +15

      You forgot the beautiful cinnamon roll Chalchiuhtlicue. Plz no bulli.

    • @Ahuizotl_Yolotl
      @Ahuizotl_Yolotl Před 11 dny

      ​@@graememontrose1741 Best girl... I mean, godess.

  • @kaleidoslug7777
    @kaleidoslug7777 Před 5 lety +2011

    So the earth itself is an unimaginably huge eldritch monstrosity that constantly craves living sacrifices, while humanity has ended several times over, each time in a different way, including countless living jaguars falling from the sky, endless draught followed by raining fire, and then *the sun crying torrential tears of blood for 52 years straight* . And there's a dude who tears off his own skin on a regular basis. The Aztecs were not fucking around

    • @Alex_Rodd1526
      @Alex_Rodd1526 Před 5 lety +235

      Are we sure we are reading Aztec mythology, and not something out of H.P. Lovecraft.

    • @dragonmanfirebane5078
      @dragonmanfirebane5078 Před 5 lety +187

      Azteces where about that metal life

    • @bkr1895
      @bkr1895 Před 5 lety +231

      How badass is the title “Our Lord the Flayed One”

    • @drewfro666
      @drewfro666 Před 5 lety +127

      Fun fact, if the Aztecs needed to sacrifice one person per day to satiate their gods, they killed enough people that we'll be running on their surplus for thousands of years.

    • @alexandraluster284
      @alexandraluster284 Před 5 lety +232

      Greeks: Dude, we are metal as fuck! We literally have an entire God dedicated to war!
      Norse: Pfft, so? Almost half of our Gods are war Gods, and we even have one that uses a hammer to make LIGHTENING!
      Aztecs: ...........*throws in the Flayed God* *smirks at the looks of terror the others are giving them* Now then, how's about you ladies go get daddy another beer.

  • @wowwhataname2950
    @wowwhataname2950 Před 5 lety +466

    “Blood sacrifices keep the planet from eating your feet” I need someone to hear that with no context just so I can see their reaction

    • @paigeanderson7261
      @paigeanderson7261 Před 5 lety +3

      Same!! 😂

    • @dynamicworlds1
      @dynamicworlds1 Před 5 lety +8

      Well, you could tell someone that tomorrow. Just sayin'

    • @porcupinethecat5073
      @porcupinethecat5073 Před 5 lety +7

      No, better, we need someone to say that with the same nonchalant cadence as Lilo would.

    • @crystalwaters7573
      @crystalwaters7573 Před 5 lety +6

      Idea for everyone: Go up to some rando and just say it super casually. Much like you’d say a hello. Then walk off. JUST F*CKING WALK OFF! And leave them to ponder their existence!

    • @wowwhataname2950
      @wowwhataname2950 Před 5 lety +4

      Update: I decided to do this with two of my friends. The first just said “What?” While the second immediately went into a rant of how and why the planet would eat your feet without acknowledging the blood sacrifices, so yeah

  • @gemgem3678
    @gemgem3678 Před 3 lety +96

    4:00 I never understood why she got so upset at that minor insult. until my teacher said I was faking my historical/mythological knowledge and I cried.

  • @Savariable
    @Savariable Před 3 lety +55

    The "you want rain? I'll give you rain!" Thing surprised me simply because I was expecting a giant flood, not fire rain.

  • @Amateon
    @Amateon Před 5 lety +956

    WHY IS QUETZALCOATL THE CUTEST LITTLE GIANT SNEK I'VE EVER SEEN

    • @amp-le4699
      @amp-le4699 Před 5 lety +32

      IKR???

    • @justinjacobs1501
      @justinjacobs1501 Před 5 lety +114

      Because he tries so hard. He's basically trying to herd cats who keep destroying the world. Definitely my favorite deity.

    • @SillyPom
      @SillyPom Před 5 lety +26

      Well that's an easy one. It's because he's flouffy. ^ _ ^

    • @lapisleafuli1817
      @lapisleafuli1817 Před 5 lety +19

      @@justinjacobs1501 If said cat was a jaguar that likes pushing humans off of the table that is earth.

    • @secondheaven9545
      @secondheaven9545 Před 5 lety +1

      TheAtlantisman play smite he’s better looking in that

  • @HilariouslyScary
    @HilariouslyScary Před 5 lety +1074

    This is like me rewriting the creation mythos for my stories over and over again

    • @jackielinde7568
      @jackielinde7568 Před 5 lety +41

      You mean we're not supposed to keep rewriting our creation myths? (Still working on the creation myths for my made up world. Got how the Sun and Moon were made, The Creation of the Sentient Races (and why Humans have such short lifespans compared to everyone else), Explanation for the huge Caldera in middle of the primary continent (and why the planet's axis is tilted. Let's just say one of the gods has jealousy and anger issues), and finally That Time The God With Jealousy and Anger Issues Tried To Crush/Strangle The Planet (and why we have continents.)

    • @Midnight_Brambles
      @Midnight_Brambles Před 5 lety +7

      Mood

    • @Berries20
      @Berries20 Před 5 lety +8

      @@jackielinde7568 that sound amazing wtf

    • @ploppman7524
      @ploppman7524 Před 5 lety +17

      Be careful or else you might end up like the Aztec where the resets are canon.

    • @bazooka2476
      @bazooka2476 Před 5 lety +7

      Just use them all!

  • @nicoleg2544
    @nicoleg2544 Před 4 lety +122

    I am both curious and terrified at what geological events must’ve taken place to inspire this mythology...

    • @tommyfox854
      @tommyfox854 Před 10 měsíci +8

      **_WHEEZE_**
      X'D
      Yeah, yeah you have a good point. =)
      Eehh. . . no but seriously you do have a good point; what the Hell happened that caused those myths ta form??? 8|

    • @zacmayes2802
      @zacmayes2802 Před 8 měsíci +18

      I remember the great jaguar rain of 1338

    • @saraa3418
      @saraa3418 Před 7 měsíci +8

      Mexico and Central America is a very seismically active area and sits on 4 different tectonic plates. (For comparison most of Europe and Asia are on one plate, the Eurasian plate) The Yucatan doesn't have rivers for fresh water, they have a network of underground limestone caverns. When one of these caverns develops an opening to the sky, it's called a cenote (seh-NO-tay). New cenotes can form at any time and there aren't any of the signs you're approaching one like there would be for a lake, river, or swamp.

    • @fruity4820
      @fruity4820 Před 7 měsíci +3

      I feel like it's not one specific event, it's an explaining story of different natural disasters that can happen, like drought, Earthquakes, floods esc. But I have no idea what that rain of fire is about

    • @firapolemos3879
      @firapolemos3879 Před 6 měsíci +7

      @@fruity4820 Volcanic eruption probably

  • @lyxthen
    @lyxthen Před 11 měsíci +42

    Important to note the Aztecs lived in a zone with tons of earthquakes. So of course they would make it important to their mythology. Neat stuff

  • @beccataylor1245
    @beccataylor1245 Před 5 lety +1759

    "Blood sacrifices keep the earth from eating your feet" WELL THATS TERRIFYING
    Edit: thank you for over 1k likes

  • @austin9568AuraMasterDX
    @austin9568AuraMasterDX Před 5 lety +434

    Tezcatlipoca: In today's forecast, it's raining Jaguars and...more Jaguars.

    • @daedula7457
      @daedula7457 Před 5 lety +33

      Clahloc: and next week there is a high chance of burning fire rain of death

    • @absolutemadladette3728
      @absolutemadladette3728 Před 5 lety +28

      Chalchiuhtlicue: And next week a high chance of drowning in blood for the next 52 years

    • @justinjacobs1501
      @justinjacobs1501 Před 5 lety +16

      Quetzalcoatl: Guys! We talked about this!

    • @fantasyshadows3207
      @fantasyshadows3207 Před 4 lety +6

      Tezcatlipoca: *currently keeps creating his jaguars army to prepare for more weather stuff*

  • @karmapotato5048
    @karmapotato5048 Před 4 lety +747

    "The firth world ends in an earthquake"
    2020: *write that down write that down!!*

    • @LumiLanStudios
      @LumiLanStudios Před 4 lety +8

      well, dammit.

    • @phoebeahn8941
      @phoebeahn8941 Před 3 lety +7

      Check ✔️ Had one in California a few weeks ago

    • @henrypaleveda7760
      @henrypaleveda7760 Před 3 lety +3

      2021 will still have the same problems (or at least some of them will take more than a year to solve).

    • @morganrobinson8042
      @morganrobinson8042 Před 3 lety +2

      @@phoebeahn8941 East coast too. I apparently slept through it.

    • @jacobsheehan9715
      @jacobsheehan9715 Před 3 lety +5

      Jokes on you we survived

  • @ArcstoneBionicle
    @ArcstoneBionicle Před 3 lety +205

    A book or movie featuring these characters would be really cool. Imagine Cipactli reawakening after centuries, and the four Tezcalipocas having to save the world.

    • @hungrypenguin1560
      @hungrypenguin1560 Před 2 lety +25

      Someone call Rick Riordan.

    • @darkflower6841
      @darkflower6841 Před 2 lety +7

      This sound like a cool idea

    • @karlacastillo6838
      @karlacastillo6838 Před rokem +4

      There's an animated series called onyx equinox I think is on Crunchyroll

    • @roguerazac7071
      @roguerazac7071 Před rokem +1

      I’m still waiting for another season, I had a great time with that show

    • @shosty575
      @shosty575 Před rokem +1

      Obsidian and Blood trilogy by Aliette de Bodard is set in the Aztec Empire with the gods being real

  • @threateningfeathers4210
    @threateningfeathers4210 Před 5 lety +285

    "blood sacrifices keep the planet from eating your feet."
    I've found my yearbook quote

    • @bucketorandomness9383
      @bucketorandomness9383 Před 5 lety +16

      I sincerely hope you use this. Personally, I think I'm going for "Let's file that under Yikes and move on."

    • @RealmRabbit
      @RealmRabbit Před 5 lety +2

      You guys have much better ideas than me... What I think I went with was a Steve Jobs quote or something lame...

  • @MaylocBrittinorum
    @MaylocBrittinorum Před 5 lety +580

    1:19 "Hey humans, I bring you food so you don't starve!"
    "Yay, a god that cares for u-"
    "Oh, and also war, plagues and conjunctivitis"
    "Wut"

    • @hex37
      @hex37 Před 5 lety +11

      I read that and was like "So basically Nurgle, right?"

    • @MaylocBrittinorum
      @MaylocBrittinorum Před 5 lety +6

      @@hex37 So the Aztecs were literally Chaos worshippers...
      Purge the heretics! For the Emperor!/s

    • @christopherg2347
      @christopherg2347 Před 5 lety +13

      "Here is the knowledge about Agriculture. Now go and kill each other for fertile land!"

    • @ArchArturo
      @ArchArturo Před 5 lety +4

      BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD, SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE!!1

    • @orionfight2973
      @orionfight2973 Před 5 lety +1

      Wow xipe totec

  • @wavestrider2160
    @wavestrider2160 Před 4 lety +115

    2:45
    So this is how the first sun dies
    With thunderous jaguars

    • @namedrop721
      @namedrop721 Před 4 měsíci +2

      Oh my fucking god you’re right 😂

  • @nuclear_wizard
    @nuclear_wizard Před 4 lety +120

    "Blood sacrifices keep the planet from eating your feet" Can we get that on a t-shirt??? XD

  • @CamiloFHSC
    @CamiloFHSC Před 5 lety +549

    Huh. It's nice to see gods stepping down voluntarily after they destroy everything.
    "Ok, my bad... probably best to let someone else take over...".

    • @angeliparraguirre7329
      @angeliparraguirre7329 Před 5 lety +79

      Better than most real life political leaders in our history tbh

    • @HunterStiles651
      @HunterStiles651 Před 5 lety +37

      @@angeliparraguirre7329 Be careful about posting stuff like that. Some people might interpret that as [insert jab at politician that I really like here]

    • @willnash7907
      @willnash7907 Před 5 lety +9

      If only the christian god had done us the courtesy...

    • @adrianmcbride1666
      @adrianmcbride1666 Před 5 lety +4

      @@willnash7907 For who to take his place exactly? Diffrent pantheon where only one god is Godlike and the rest are all practically better than human humans.

    • @HunterStiles651
      @HunterStiles651 Před 5 lety +17

      @@willnash7907 Yeah no... I'm an agnostic (unless I'm high on caffeine apparently). I find anyone who thinks they have God figured out laughable, but taking random potshots at any particular religion is still uncalled for and just inviting people to rage at you in the comments. So don't do that.

  • @handanhan
    @handanhan Před 5 lety +811

    “Blood sacrifices keep the planet from eating your feet” -Red 2019

  • @stabin42
    @stabin42 Před 4 lety +40

    I love that the Aztecs had the balls to call the earth a vicious hungry monster, while mostly everyone else dotes on it as a mother and life giver. Metal.

    • @daboi6509
      @daboi6509 Před 11 měsíci

      I mean the greeks did it too (fuck you gaia)

    • @irishmanfromengland25
      @irishmanfromengland25 Před 10 měsíci +4

      have you met Gaia? she spends most of her time making monsters.

    • @stabin42
      @stabin42 Před 10 měsíci

      @@irishmanfromengland25 That's incidental. They aren't monsters to her! lol

    • @irishmanfromengland25
      @irishmanfromengland25 Před 10 měsíci +2

      @@stabin42 they're objectively dangerous and half of them are abominations of combined animals.

    • @stabin42
      @stabin42 Před 10 měsíci +1

      @@irishmanfromengland25 But does Gaia think they are monsters? Or are they just her kids?

  • @SanguiphiliaTV
    @SanguiphiliaTV Před 2 lety +44

    "Let's file that under yikes and move on" LMAO That's my new favorite phrase. Also the look on Quetzalcoatl's face when he goes to get the bones is amazing.

  • @jojothebard6687
    @jojothebard6687 Před 5 lety +540

    Your interpretation of Quetzalcoatl is so cute.

    • @angeliparraguirre7329
      @angeliparraguirre7329 Před 5 lety +5

      💯💯💯

    • @kabob0077
      @kabob0077 Před 5 lety +48

      The Bard Have you seen how they've made Hades look? He's the cutest ever!

    • @agihammerthief8953
      @agihammerthief8953 Před 5 lety +59

      He really was the cutest god of the official pantheon of the Aztec empire. That is, the only one that didn't demand bloody sacrifice.

    • @jojothebard6687
      @jojothebard6687 Před 5 lety +34

      Agi Hammerthief so immediately Quetz is best boi.

    • @alliephenix
      @alliephenix Před 5 lety +9

      @@kabob0077 and Persephone sooooo cuuuutttteeeeee

  • @Sanodi21
    @Sanodi21 Před 5 lety +494

    I feel like that the whole 'the world is actually an Eldritch monster' thing would work great in a psychological horror thing based in myth

    • @Lyth13
      @Lyth13 Před 5 lety +23

      Sanodi21 worked pretty well in darkest dungeon

    • @Bluecho4
      @Bluecho4 Před 5 lety +47

      A while back, VaatiVidya came up with the theory that the sequel to Bloodborne would be more Aztec inspired. Both because of the blood sacrifice thing, and because of all the grotesque horrors in their mythology.
      I can't lie, I'd love to have that game.

    • @matthewmuir8884
      @matthewmuir8884 Před 5 lety +5

      Xenoblade Chronicles already did that with the Bionis.

    • @ycastro2003
      @ycastro2003 Před 5 lety +8

      Transformers also does this with Unicron.

    • @SomeKindaSpy
      @SomeKindaSpy Před 5 lety +7

      Lovecraft gotcha covered, but we all know what he was like.

  • @KyleRayner12
    @KyleRayner12 Před 3 lety +266

    This is the thing monotheism misses out on: the sheer, unbridled pettiness driving all major history in polytheism.

    • @nobodybroda3826
      @nobodybroda3826 Před 11 měsíci +10

      Ehhhhh I feel like the God of the Jews, Christians and Muslims can be a bit petty sometimes, look at Moses, man loses his temper and can't enter paradise!

    • @ArielSubotzky
      @ArielSubotzky Před 11 měsíci +2

      ​@@nobodybroda3826I'm sorry where does it say Moses didn't get to Paradise?? If this is about the incident with the rock, he wasn't allowed to enter Israel, not Paradise. Moses was the greatest prophet, according to the last verse of Deuteronomy so I'd be extremely surprised to see a source for him not entering Paradise

    • @GarethOfByzantium
      @GarethOfByzantium Před 8 měsíci

      @@ArielSubotzky isn’t the point of monotheism to save people from that.

    • @irondragonmaiden
      @irondragonmaiden Před 8 měsíci +7

      I mean, the monotheistic god is petty too, but it loses something due to him not having another god of more or less equal force counteracting him

    • @ValeBridges
      @ValeBridges Před 7 měsíci +7

      Remember that time Jesus cursed a tree for the crime of no fruits

  • @alicethemad1613
    @alicethemad1613 Před rokem +32

    I can’t get over the fact Tezcatlipoca ended the world because he stole someone’s wife. Dude was so smooth and had so little care for consequences that he inadvertently wiped out all of humanity.

  • @grfrjiglstan
    @grfrjiglstan Před 5 lety +136

    "So it's a five minute video?"
    "Well, unless you pause to read all the text."
    "How long is it then?"
    "Twenty minutes."

    • @julianads5657
      @julianads5657 Před 5 lety +4

      MattheJ1 unless you can read them in the time given ;)

    • @DarkestElemental616
      @DarkestElemental616 Před 5 lety +4

      What do you mean you have to pause it to read all that.

  • @ThePalatineHill
    @ThePalatineHill Před 5 lety +593

    "Blood Sacrifices keep the planet from eating your feet."
    I'ma use that to spice up a conversation at a completely random and hopefully inappropriate moment

    • @wessmoore7894
      @wessmoore7894 Před 4 lety +13

      Yeah, we probably all need to get on that...

    • @nicholaswalsh4462
      @nicholaswalsh4462 Před 4 lety +30

      Well if you don't value your continued survival I suppose you could bring it up with a girlfriend when she's on her period.

    • @leaderunith4l324
      @leaderunith4l324 Před 3 lety +7

      Nicholas Walsh Maybe that’s why the planet hasn’t eaten us yet

    • @nicholaswalsh4462
      @nicholaswalsh4462 Před 3 lety +5

      @@leaderunith4l324 perhaps but I'm not going to suggest that to anyone that can physically reach me.

    • @kch_789
      @kch_789 Před 3 lety

      @@nicholaswalsh4462 Oof

  • @domesticcat1725
    @domesticcat1725 Před 4 lety +142

    Ah yes the four tezcatlipoca: Santana, Wamuu, Esidisi, and Kars

  • @ArchArturo
    @ArchArturo Před 4 lety +111

    Loki: “I think I’ll do mischief today”
    Tezcatlipoca: “Nice! Want some jaguars for that?”

    • @jiingflower
      @jiingflower Před 2 lety +13

      Honestly they would be very good friends.

    • @daviddaugherty2816
      @daviddaugherty2816 Před 10 měsíci +2

      Eris: Have you tried making the gods fight over a golden apple? Never gets old.

  • @RyelynCaster
    @RyelynCaster Před 5 lety +710

    But everything changed when Tezcatlipoca attacked....

  • @mofthemoth5755
    @mofthemoth5755 Před 5 lety +1097

    Damn!The Aztecs had some pretty "interesting" myths

  • @chrismain7472
    @chrismain7472 Před 4 lety +41

    I need a shirt that says "Remember to pour one out for Cipactli once in a while. Blood sacrifices keep the planet from eating your feet." - Red
    Maybe the graphic could be the frame at @ 1:52 .

  • @milesshelley1464
    @milesshelley1464 Před 2 lety +35

    I read one version of the story in my Chicano/a history class, but this really helped with visualizing the story. The translation we got for Huitzilopochli was "hummingbird on the left," which basically had to do with your heart being on the left side of your chest and hummingbirds having lots of energy. Isn't mythology fun?

  • @pridelander06
    @pridelander06 Před 5 lety +491

    Which Sun is the Wukong?
    Wait, wrong video.

    • @mmeers89
      @mmeers89 Před 5 lety +27

      though maybe not, mayhaps those humans turned into monkeys didn't die but made it to chinaland.

    • @Redbrover
      @Redbrover Před 5 lety +14

      @@mmeers89 It would explain why Sun Wukong is basically an angsty teen. Lol.

    • @RamenBowl2.0
      @RamenBowl2.0 Před 5 lety +5

      interesting theory....wait, didn't wukong hatch from a rock? THE THEORY NOOOOOOO

    • @tomimakirinne
      @tomimakirinne Před 5 lety +12

      -enter a horrible Red imitation- This time on journey to the west: Sun Wukong journeys a little too far to the west and becomes a creator god of the Aztecs!

  • @Ch-xc4fo
    @Ch-xc4fo Před 5 lety +285

    I imagine some gods from the many worlds once met for a friendly chat.
    Odin: "So, how's your worldbuilding going, Quetzacoatl?"
    Quetz: "Bad."
    Odin: "Really? How come? Did you kill the giant monster?"
    Quetz: "Kinda... We still have to feed him with blood sacrifices"
    Izanagi: "What do you mean?! At least tell me your worshippers are in line!"
    Quetz: "... We kinda had to start over."
    Brahma: "What. Did. You. Do?!"
    Quetz: "We kinda screwed up with the whole sun thing... 5 times"
    Izanagi has left the Pantheon cafe
    Odin has left the Pantheon cafe
    Brahma has left the Pantheon cafe
    Quetz: "... This is why the Western worlds don't like us."

    • @blipboigilgamesh7865
      @blipboigilgamesh7865 Před 5 lety +27

      Correction: "this is why the kinda western worlds don't like us"

    • @kennethhwang3425
      @kennethhwang3425 Před 5 lety +30

      Ch I mean, Hindu deities creates and ends universes in perpetuity, so I don’t see them not understanding this plight.

    • @charlieterry8506
      @charlieterry8506 Před 5 lety +15

      yeah but Quetz and Crew seem to be wrecking the world on accident every time

    • @Self-replicating_whatnot
      @Self-replicating_whatnot Před 5 lety +9

      The ultimate "design by comittee" creation myth.

    • @nuclearsynapse5319
      @nuclearsynapse5319 Před 5 lety +17

      Ok but Izanagi doesn't really have any room to talk. Remember that Amaterasu got so offended once that she took her sun into a cave and had to be seduced back out of it

  • @rodrigosp4128
    @rodrigosp4128 Před 4 lety +62

    Fun fact about Tlaloc, in real life when a big statue of him was found, the archeologists moved it from its original place. And Coincidentally a big rain hit on Mexico City, flooding the capital in a never seen magnitud. Now, Mexico City is common to be rainy, so the city is prepared to prevent any mayor flood on the city. Still the rain that hit that day when they stole the monolith from their people was so tremendous that many parts of the city were flooded.
    I am not saying Tlaloc is real, but I am saying that between a boring guy with the power to make water into wine, or a giant feathered snake dragon. I prefer the second option.

    • @bitchassmoththing
      @bitchassmoththing Před rokem +6

      they pissed off tlaloc

    • @jamesconn
      @jamesconn Před rokem +2

      @@bitchassmoththing I mean, dude can't catch a break, with that piece of crap legless dude taking his first wife, and other people making his second wife depressed, people just hate him.

    • @reddytoplay9188
      @reddytoplay9188 Před rokem

      Ah yes the boring guy that makes water into wine.
      Thats like saying the snake that somehow tripped and fell. Or the cucked rain god and crybaby goddess.
      Bitch ass never read the revelations.
      Or the times his opponents get dunked on when he speaks parables
      Thats not even mentioning the non canon versions or the ancient version before the Bible.
      The Aztec Myth is fun but you didn't need to insult another religion or myth because of your ignorance.

  • @catherinecao4810
    @catherinecao4810 Před 3 lety +31

    I would love a fanfic about Quetzalcoatl and Tezcalipoca having an actually good brother relationship. Thor & Loki style.

  • @OrionBlarg
    @OrionBlarg Před 5 lety +112

    Jaguars are falling from the sky, eating peoples faces off and I'm just out there with my arms wide open going "KITTIES!"

    • @maximsavage
      @maximsavage Před 5 lety +7

      What got me was the "meow meow meow" thing all over the screen while that was happening. It made me imagine an apocalypse of raining hungry jaguars, to the tune of the Meow Mix jingle.

    • @christopherg2347
      @christopherg2347 Před 5 lety +2

      @Marin Hugge We all know our Housecats would eat our faces off, if only they could open the Tuna cans themself or were big enough to eat it in one sitting.

  • @SirNeutral
    @SirNeutral Před 5 lety +113

    Kids! Time to change The Floor is Lava! game into The Floor is an Eldritch Abomination!

  • @francescapatti2934
    @francescapatti2934 Před 4 lety +37

    Xipe Totec: exists
    Ramsay Bolton: *sweats nervously*
    The lord of Light, the seven and the old gods: are we a joke to you?

  • @ATroknya
    @ATroknya Před 3 lety +12

    "let's file that under *YIKES* and move on." This is my new favorite quote for everything ever.

  • @derronmendel9650
    @derronmendel9650 Před 5 lety +285

    This is amazing.
    I police in California, and my school is doing a blood drive with the slogan “donate your blood to save lives”. I feel like they maybe didn’t mean what I now think they mean.

    • @lapisleafuli1817
      @lapisleafuli1817 Před 5 lety +16

      I mean as long as they aren't killing people to get the blood its fine.

    • @Anastas1786
      @Anastas1786 Před 4 lety +4

      Didn't you ever wonder where all that blood goes after everyone and their dogs rush to give after a crisis? It has an _expiration date;_ they can't use _all_ of it _just_ performing surgeries and reviving anemics!
      But the Red Cross does not _waste,_ oh no...

    • @adambonaparte4206
      @adambonaparte4206 Před 4 lety

      "See, the Earth likes it when you spill blood for it. But don't spill your own blood, you're gonna need that!"

  • @lutakip.librax4162
    @lutakip.librax4162 Před 5 lety +175

    I never thought I'd hear about Quetzalcoatl scoring a homerun with the sun but there you go

    • @willphoenix5464
      @willphoenix5464 Před 5 lety +7

      HOOOOOOOOOMEEEEEE RUUUUUUUUUN! THE PUBLIC IS SHIELDING FROM THE JAGUAR RAIN AS QUETZALCOATL CELEBRATES THE HIS AMAZING SHOT! A LARGE CAT HAS ENTERED THE COMMENTATOR ROOM! WE'RE GOING TO
      (a roar is heard)

    • @SomeKindaSpy
      @SomeKindaSpy Před 5 lety +5

      GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAL!
      *Furious Vuvuzelas*

    • @rollingthunder1043
      @rollingthunder1043 Před 5 lety +2

      AAAAAND IT IS OUTTA THERE!

  • @carolinerayson3671
    @carolinerayson3671 Před 4 lety +16

    “YOU WERE MY BROTHER TEZCATLIPOCA”

  • @trentedan
    @trentedan Před 3 lety +26

    This is soooo wildly different from our creation story! The Mēxihcah story is WAY more metal, I’ve gotta say haha.
    I’m Anishinaabe (Chippewa or Ojibwe) btw, and I would love it if you could explore some more “new world” mythoi; not an easy task, I know, especially given colonization of historical accounts and the general historical lack of formal writing systems for most northern groups.
    chi-nimiigwechiwendaan gimazinaateseg 🥰

    • @yamanakoyama8682
      @yamanakoyama8682 Před 2 lety

      I'm assuming the last part of your comment is something in Anishinaabemowin (if I got that right), what does it mean? :)
      I did try looking it up and found some site that talks about how the language works, but couldn't find how to actually translate it - another assumption being that it's a language that works with compound words (since those are some long-ass words), and I have no clue which separate words to pick from that and if that would even work to translate it properly

  • @Fubukio
    @Fubukio Před 5 lety +386

    2:12 Now I know why HP Lovecraft is so afraid of the world, especially the ocean.

    • @carolinemcgovern4488
      @carolinemcgovern4488 Před 4 lety +12

      Whelp, we've figured it out, everyone!

    • @nullpoint3346
      @nullpoint3346 Před 4 lety +16

      But he isn't afraid of everything, just everything that isn't where he grew up.

    • @Ajehy
      @Ajehy Před 4 lety +7

      Obviously there’s fewer mouths under Providence, RI. Only like... seventeen.

    • @tomsmith8763
      @tomsmith8763 Před 4 lety +1

      LMFAO YAS

  • @stewart7521
    @stewart7521 Před 5 lety +197

    " pour one out for Chalchiuhtlicue"
    or/and
    " blood sacrifices keep the planet from eating your feet"
    I need those on a t-shirt.
    someone get on this.

    • @flatbastard9645
      @flatbastard9645 Před 5 lety +20

      "Let's file that under yikes and move on." needs a shirt too

    • @JackSilver1410
      @JackSilver1410 Před 4 lety +2

      Pour one out for Cipactli.. You did so much more work than you needed to, my dude.

  • @michaelfisher7170
    @michaelfisher7170 Před 2 lety +4

    One of my favorite things about the black Tezcatlipoca, (the actual Tez) is that as a god of conflict one of his titles was "the enemy of both sides"...acknowledging his role as the chaos of warfare. Brilliant stuff.

  • @TheFrugalVideoGamer
    @TheFrugalVideoGamer Před 3 lety +44

    You forgot about the myth of Chanticleer, a rooster who thought the sun wouldn't rise without him so he went to the city to pursue a singing career.

  • @axios4702
    @axios4702 Před 5 lety +354

    "The earth is an eldritch abomination that wishes to consume everything"
    Literally the plot of Darkest Dungeon

    • @serencefrostbite3362
      @serencefrostbite3362 Před 5 lety +8

      holy cow you're right ! XD

    • @Prich319
      @Prich319 Před 4 lety +34

      All I can think is how the Aztecs out lovecrafted Lovecraft.

    • @Jake007123
      @Jake007123 Před 4 lety +6

      Pretty sure Lovecraft "borrowed" from the Aztecs.

  • @litchie5836
    @litchie5836 Před 5 lety +296

    I want the people who made Dark Souls, Bloodborne, and Sekiro to make a game based on Aztec mythology. It would be awesome, in the most horrifying way.

    • @EpicFailureFive
      @EpicFailureFive Před 5 lety +8

      I've actually been wondering if they were planning to make a Bloodborne sequel set in the Americas.

    • @teogonzalez7957
      @teogonzalez7957 Před 5 lety +2

      Kathy Kat it wasn't Aztec, but I remember reading a mesoamerican myth where a guy jumped into a fire to turn into the sun.

    • @SillyPom
      @SillyPom Před 5 lety

      *sigh* Well we can dream, can't we? :3

    • @jeffchien8577
      @jeffchien8577 Před 5 lety

      What would they have to change?

    • @goofybutserious4807
      @goofybutserious4807 Před 5 lety +1

      God of War anyone?

  • @shinkanseninkyrgyzrepublic4544

    3:42 AUSTRALIAN FIRES (but a bit worse)

  • @Sigma_Vehnke
    @Sigma_Vehnke Před 2 lety +14

    "Let's file this under yikes and move on."
    Gods, I love these people.

  • @Happygorgon
    @Happygorgon Před 5 lety +313

    Hey, just in case you guys were wondering, Red actually missed out on a God who helped Quetzalcoatl save the bones from the Underworld,
    He was helped by Xolotl, the Eyeless Dog of Dawn. God of Fire, Lightning, Twins, Deformity, and the planet Venus.
    Born as twin with Quetzalcoatl, where Quetzalcoatl just kind of popped out with him when he was born, Xolotl was born with reversed feet, and ragged ears, and was considered ugly, even by Aztec God standards.
    To begin with, Xolotl once found a Bone, and brought it to the Gods as a present, where they sprinkled it with blood, helping to create the first Boy and Girl.
    When the other Gods decided to sacrifice themselves to help kick start humanity beyond the boy and girl, Xolotl saw all his friends seemingly kill themselves, and wept so much that his eyes fell out. And when Ehecatl, the Aztec Executioner decided that everyone needed to die for humanity, Xolotl was scared, and tried hiding. First turning into a two headed maize plant ( Xolotl ), a double headed maguey plant ( Mexolotl ) and finally, an amphibious lizard, or Axolotl. And despite being a great hider, he was eventually found, sacrificed, and then brought back to life, with his body being split into these three things, and given to humans.
    And, when Quetzalcoatl needed to get the bones of humanity from the Underworld, to help with the fifth version of the Sun, Xolotl joined him, and lead him down to where the Bones were being kept. Fighting off the monsters of the Underworld, and protecting Quetzalcoatl.
    When Quetzalcoatl saw that the new Sun needed to be watched over constantly, to ensure that it wouldn't end up killing everyone again. He set Xolotl as it's guard from Dusk until Dawn. So, by day it was watched over by the Moon and Stars, by night, it was made to travel through the Underworld, where Xolotl would both protect it on it's journey, and make sure it didn't get into any trouble. And, as a bonus, would often lead the souls of those who had died with him as they entered the Underworld.
    So, why was Xolotl given so much flak, despite helping to both create, and save humanity?
    Well, as a deformed, cowardly God, he is a pretty good embodiment of what the Aztecs thought of dogs. Immoral and filthy creatures. They still believed that dogs held a purpose, but they were only really loved for by the lower classes, and not by the Aztec Hierarchy. They basically held the same opinion as Eustace Bagge from Courage the Cowardly Dog.
    (edit) And, come to think of it, a scared but good meaning Dog, who is hated by his owners, and spends his time fighting off unthinkable horrors and monsters. Huh, Courage is apparently our Aztec Saviour.
    Anywho, just thought you guys might like to know more about the Cowardly Dog who helped create us, twice.
    Praise be to Courage.

    • @Bysthedragon
      @Bysthedragon Před 5 lety +27

      Good boy

    • @annawing770
      @annawing770 Před 5 lety +40

      Heh, Courage the Cowardly God

    • @Stothehighest
      @Stothehighest Před 5 lety +11

      Tactical reply so I can find this again. That was some cool history, guy! Thanks for sharing it.

    • @ryalexander0207
      @ryalexander0207 Před 5 lety +9

      Replying to find it later. I really enjoy this mythology and want to keep this for later!

    • @miken227
      @miken227 Před 5 lety +5

      Thanks for that tidbit, much appreciated!

  • @Mo10tov
    @Mo10tov Před 5 lety +165

    🎶It's raining Jaguars hallelujah it's raining in Jaguars🎶
    (And fire and blood for 52yrs)

    • @coolgreenbug7551
      @coolgreenbug7551 Před 5 lety +6

      'I'm going to get, absolutely soaking wet'
      for both situations,
      _euughhh_

    • @Mo10tov
      @Mo10tov Před 5 lety +2

      @@coolgreenbug7551 lol xD

  • @beet2413
    @beet2413 Před 4 lety +15

    In Maori, The sun rushes to fast across the sky so Maui catches in with his brothers and threatens it. Also Maui’s fish hook is actually his grandmas jaw bone...

  • @oldspice051
    @oldspice051 Před 3 lety +7

    3:30 Never seen a ball with so many expressions before.

  • @CommanderBohn
    @CommanderBohn Před 5 lety +58

    Not mentioned: Quetzalcoatl gets the blood by stabbing himself in the testicles. Only a true bro would stab himself in the testicles for humanity.

    • @konnosx1213
      @konnosx1213 Před 5 lety +5

      Choose a best friend
      *-Tezcalipoca*
      > Life of the party
      > Pet jaguar
      > Prank mastermind
      *-Coyolxauqui*
      > Topless hot girl
      > Goth and misunderstood
      > Mommy issues
      *-Coatlicue*
      > Innocent but strong
      > Casual and chill as fuck
      > Is your mom
      *-Hitzlipotchli*
      > Gym bro
      > Will get in a fight (and win) for you
      > Uses human hearts as steroids
      *-Quetzalcoatl*
      > he loves you

    • @fantasyshadows3207
      @fantasyshadows3207 Před 4 lety +1

      Wait what
      Where and how does he stab himself there?

    • @stripedrat7745
      @stripedrat7745 Před 4 lety +1

      Let’s file that under yikes and move on

  • @tomsmurf4225
    @tomsmurf4225 Před 5 lety +83

    "Personally, I think that midichlorians deepen the lore in a compelling way."
    "You take that back!"
    I'll admit, I laughed

    • @Broadpaw_Fox
      @Broadpaw_Fox Před 5 lety +13

      Was reading comments looking for someone else to have noticed this. Am not disappointed. Thanks.
      Also, "You were my BROTHER!" Had me howling...

    • @dynamicworlds1
      @dynamicworlds1 Před 5 lety +16

      What got me was:
      "That's... less cute"
      "Ooh, that's a new obscene gesture!
      I'm gonna use that"

    • @Quintusblake
      @Quintusblake Před 5 lety +1

      But they do, don’t they?

    • @tomsmurf4225
      @tomsmurf4225 Před 5 lety

      @@Quintusblake i suppose so

  • @nateklempner561
    @nateklempner561 Před 2 lety +11

    I came back to watch some of this Aztec stuff again (cause I forgot the specifics) for backstory after watching a series on Crunchyroll called "Onyx Equinox". A lot of things that happened in that show make more relevant sense now. I'm also hoping they manage to make another season for it, cause they literally only showed Quetzalcoatl in his big snake form at the absolute very end as an ominous closing scene.

  • @minaharker9316
    @minaharker9316 Před 4 lety +13

    Aztec mythology became my favorite thing thanks to your Huitzilopochtli and Quetzalcoatl videos, I'm so glad you did this one! Also, your art is fantastic!

  • @silvertheelf
    @silvertheelf Před 5 lety +539

    Wow, who knew Aztec mythology got closest of all mythologies to the actual real prehistory, with the endless amounts of disasters that is... and Lovecraftian horrors... probably...

    • @carolinemcgovern4488
      @carolinemcgovern4488 Před 4 lety +48

      I mean, that is impressive. Props to them.

    • @Alusnovalotus
      @Alusnovalotus Před 4 lety

      King Ammonite rip off

    • @jesusmora9379
      @jesusmora9379 Před 4 lety +28

      and multiple suns. out sun and heavy elements like gold and phosphorous come from the explosion of an even bigger star that came before the solar system.

    • @YamiHorusReborn
      @YamiHorusReborn Před 4 lety +2

      King Ammonite Mexicans

    • @uselessalgae9381
      @uselessalgae9381 Před 4 lety +9

      i think the abrahamic genesis had the evolution of different animals (first fish, then 'behemoths', then ordinary animals and finally humans) with the exception of birds.

  • @jacobvardy
    @jacobvardy Před 5 lety +120

    Aztec mythology: perfect D&D setting.

    • @konnosx1213
      @konnosx1213 Před 5 lety +9

      True, and mace wielding jungle girl is a better built than hyperborean barbarian

    • @heartlessmushroom
      @heartlessmushroom Před 4 lety

      I KNOWWWWW

    • @egghound_flopper
      @egghound_flopper Před 4 lety

      The four Tezcatlipocas are literally just the players

    • @chryasor9254
      @chryasor9254 Před 4 lety +1

      @@egghound_flopper murderhobo level 20 party trying to rp

    • @lunaequinox7333
      @lunaequinox7333 Před 4 lety +3

      Totally gonna create a campaign based on the Aztec gods

  • @TheAlaskansandman
    @TheAlaskansandman Před 4 lety +7

    The 5 ages of man is an interesting idea carried by many cultures, like the Greeks, Golden age, silver age, Bronze Age, Age of Heroes, and Iron Age. Which also has different humans in each age

  • @dwell7315
    @dwell7315 Před 3 lety +4

    Every part of the depiction of Quetzalcoatl going to the underworld is amazing, from the *grumble, grumble* to the underworld god's reaction, to Quetzalcoatl falling and yelling "If only I could flyyyy"

  • @JustCozItsMe
    @JustCozItsMe Před 5 lety +125

    The earth does consume all eventually, and it feeds the grass.
    'THE CIRCLE~ OF LIFE'

  • @sonnyaguilar5593
    @sonnyaguilar5593 Před 5 lety +737

    aztec mythology sounds like something that was written by hp lovecraft

    • @ckaren001araujoh.9
      @ckaren001araujoh.9 Před 5 lety +90

      But more Metal.

    • @ckaren001araujoh.9
      @ckaren001araujoh.9 Před 5 lety +32

      Holy shit, imagine if he have read it...

    • @RealmRabbit
      @RealmRabbit Před 5 lety +47

      Dude... What if all this time the Aztecs were just being driven insane by this monster in order to make them provide it with blood sacrifices!? IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW!

    • @FlorenceFox
      @FlorenceFox Před 5 lety +31

      @@ckaren001araujoh.9 And less racist.

    • @kennethhwang3425
      @kennethhwang3425 Před 5 lety +37

      Ckaren001 Araujo H. Old Lovecraft would have loved the mythology of the brown people who somewhat fit his depiction of cultish lower race without ever been bothered to research to know that their harsh environment and hostile neighbors forged such a civilization of considerable and essential achievements despite dabbling in gore human sacrifice.

  • @kamishin7135
    @kamishin7135 Před 3 lety +17

    I thought Jesus had a cool nickname in "our lord and saviour", but Xipe Totec top it, I mean damn is his nickname "our lord the flayed one" is metal

    • @iluan_
      @iluan_ Před 3 lety

      There's a band from Mexico named after him. Their music is a mixture of death metal and pre-hispanic music. Some of their songs are in nahuatl (the aztec language).

    • @anonguy772
      @anonguy772 Před 2 lety +1

      Our Lord the Crucified One sounds pretty neat too but people don't use that one so yeah Xipe Totec wins in terms of metal nicknames

  • @damightymage5049
    @damightymage5049 Před 3 lety +6

    "Blood sacrifices keep the planet from eating your feet."
    That one had me in stitches. Hilarious episode!