Personal Testimony Living with BDD
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- čas přidán 22. 08. 2024
- Chris Trondsen shares his personal experience living with OCD and Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD).
If you are ever feeling suicidal or unsafe please go to your local emergency room, call 911 or call the suicide prevention hotline at 800-273-8255.
For more information about BDD, visit bdd.iocdf.org.
I grew up thinking everyone was self conscious like me which terrified me as they all seemed to handle it really well. It wasnt until I was diagnosed and went through CBT I realised other people didnt go around thinking about thier appearance every waking minute and making tenuous links to everything bad in the word about thier appearence. That's when I knew BDD was real.
This made me cry because I literally feel every emotion ...I can't believe we are forced to go thru this trauma 💔 stay strong 💪 💙 your story helps me understand that I'm not alone
me to, people dont know whats it like living with this disorder.
Same
Same... ugh
What an absolutely incredible advocate for Body Dismorphia Disorder. Thank you so much for sharing your story
I definitely need to go and get a diagnoses because it’s getting worse month by month. Thank you for this vid
This highlights a lot of issues I face. If anyone would like to chat through a WhatsApp group please get in touch with me. I’ll create one and share. Maybe we can help each other through this horrible disorder.
@@Davidahernchannel 8455062295
@@Davidahernchannel you wont be helping anyone in a group for BDD unless its supervised by a psychologist,its a recipe for disaster.
How are you doing now?
@@emilia2647 honestly a lot better, this was mainly a phase for me. A long one don’t get me wrong, but I think maturing and getting emotionally stronger has made life so much better and worth living. I don’t think I have or ever had this condition anymore
BDD (and severe OCD in general) is like a living hell.
My heart goes out to him and, all sufferers. It's as though he was talking about me. I locked myself away too. So glad he overcame this horrible condition and now is helping others through his experiences.. He gives us hope.My best wishes.
This sounds unbelievably similar to what my daughter is going through! Thank you for sharing this.
BDD is tearing me apart. Apparently I’ve had it since childhood too (just got diagnosed 3 years ago). I did the checking my hair in the shadows, carrying a comb, avoiding people, makeup, etc. I’ve seen doctors and therapists recently and have been VERY honest…nobody seems to want to (or can) help. It’s negatively affecting every aspect of my life. BDD is relentless and miserable and attacks me all day, every day. How could anyone want to live like this? How long can someone really stay positive??Mine is (mainly) hair loss…and I’ve done EXTREME things trying to fix it, but I keep failing. It’s so deflating and depressing. I’m in my early 40s and I honestly don’t think I’ve got much of a future left. I’m not the kinda person to do suicide, but I still think it’s gonna completely break me mentally someday. It’s refreshing to hear your story and how you’ve been able to turn things around…I think diagnosing it early was key in your recovery. Personally, I think I’m too far gone though.
this dude has a kickass voice. i'm jealous
Thank you for speaking out. So similar to my story. Ruined my life. Still. 38 years no job, no life.
Hang in there
I had severe bdd from 18 until 45,suicidal on and off for that entire time,now at almost 50 I'm almost entirely free of it due to a 4 month residential program,I dont feel the same about my reflection at all.
How did you deal with it, can you please help me
@@suhailabaricz1161 I didn't deal with it ,things only changed for me with the intensity of residential treatment and took 3 months of that all day,every day until I felt a change in how much of my thoughts it occupied and the intensity of emotion felt.I did compassion focussed group therapy, CBT three times per week,imagery rescripting for childhood bullying ,attention retraining technique twice per day.I basically made therapy my full time job and every patient there was the same,peer support and pressure when needed.I had tried CBT maybe 100 sessions and failed along with every medication known prior to going to hospital.
@@suhailabaricz1161 I realized I picked my skin and pulled my hair as an outlet for pentup (nervous) energy. I established that there MUST be a better way. I worked on loving myself; on forgiveness and letting go. Speaking about it helped. I stopped caring about "my condition" so much, stopped guarding my secret. Let it out. I stopped staring at myself in the mirror, got real honest eith myself: whatever I was trying to fix didn't get fixed by my "fixing", it just made it worse. I accepted that I am not perfect and never will be. Who cares anyway, I don't mind what other people look like, so why obsess over my own appearance? Nobody cares. What matters is KINDNESS. Can i be kind to myself, the way I am kind to others? This took a while, but I started to change the way I saw myself, and stopped punishing myself for my past mistakes. I became a better, more loving person. Less hard - much softer. My attitude to this life changed, I am so grateful for my life now less painful 🙏🏼❤️ I hope you find your way. Only Love heals. The wound is where Light enters you. Feel what needs to be felt, find the root cause, the issue you aren't yet acknowledging (for me it was the pain and deep seated fear of rejection). Still working on this, but more directly, in my heart and mind. Now I use my hands to heal/mend/create only, not to inflict more trauma. Ahimsa, non-violence. Fear is the beginning and end of the road of suffering. Face it head-on and you level up. A new plateau of joyful play and curious experimentation, a true kind of intimacy and getting to know yourself, is waiting for you. Open up and enjoy what lies within you. You are immaculate.
This is scary relatable
You are incredible and so inspiring, today was a hard day, this has given me hope. Thank you
Hang in there- get some help if you can!
Listening to you, gave me hope for my teenage son! Bless your heart
Hit the nail on the head. Thank you.
thank u for bravely sharing your journey with BDD. Im now 38 and have been suffering with this since about 18 (there are hints and signs it probably started around 6th grade but really flared up in my later teens), getting dramatically worse as i get older, and has been especially prevalent since about 27-28. I dont know how to function on a day to day basis, and the rare times i force myself to go out with friends, it takes me so long to get ready and it really flares up. ive noticed since the covid pandemic, its gotten increasingly worse for me, as isolating became more normalized, and now i dont know how to get out of this. I spend so much time in the mirror, and i either go out to do errands with my face covered with a mask and sunglasses, or ill go out socially about once or twice a month, but i can take 3 hours to get ready to where I feel i can even function being out with friends. its so exhausting that i rarely get fully ready, and im missing out on my life. Any situation im not fully comfortable with I avoid or have an excuse why not to attend. ive never opened up to anyone about having this, I dont think anyone knows. my BDD is manly focused on my face and hair (and overall appearance too), but the BDD focus shifts around through out the years and is also compounded
If anybody relates to this video or something similar please go and talk to someone. I know exactly how impossible that can seem. I'm now 38 and have hidden it since aged 13. In my case I've left it too late I think and having to accept that is harder than dealing with BDD itself. Don't wait to tell someone.
Can you suggest a group or groups around the LA/Pasadena area that I can attend. I don’t have to be diagnosed. I now know and have a name of what I have been suffering for 80 years. For you being a male with this disorder was an issue. For me being ashamed that people will think of me as shallow, as being vein or narcissistic. I really need some relief if nothing else but to talk about it with other people who understand the problem. I have missed countless opportunities (including not finishing college and not getting married) during the course of my life. All I ever felt was deep shame and no matter how I camouflaged it at the most important stepping stones of my life I gave in to the shame rather than to move forward. There is nothing more that I would like to have in my life now than to have a community where I can talk about this curse that has plagued me all my life. Your honest sharing of the difficulties you went through touched me very deeply. I welcome and will be most grateful if you can provide me with some groups dealing with this issue.
@@millacolic I live in Ireland and there's very little awareness here but I managed to contact The BDD Foundation. There based in England but they provided me with good information and advice going forward. I would try to get in contact with them asap. They can help.
@@johnnylynch2290 there was a free group in st Pat's in Dublin I used to attend back in the day,it was supervised by professionals.However,its not treatment so you will need that to see any improvement. I had it for 28 yrs,treated unsuccessfully many times both in and out of hospital .Eventually I was sent to the Bethlem in London and came out cured,that was 4 yrs ago.It can be a massively devastating disorder and a big risk for suicide.
@@scarred10 I appreciate the info, delighted to hear you came out the other side 👍. I managed to get a diagnosis and have been steadily improving over the the last few months. The fact you got it under control gives me extra confidence and will surely give anyone who reads your comment the same. Wish you all the best going forward. 👍👍
I hope it’s not too late for you and me. I’m around your age and am only now looking to get help. I want to be able to be happy in this life. I think you can have that too. We can at least try.
We understand you & we appreciate you ! ♥️
There should be more video's like this. Thank you for making this one. I have to say tho I am so afraid because I already do what you all have done to feel better. I did lot's of therapy and took all kind of medicine and still I just want to die. Wishing everyone who's suffering from bdd all the strength of the world ❤️
It’s to the point where I disassociate myself from my family and friends cause I feel that they will tell me that my face got bigger and that I’m overweight. I don’t take anyone truthfully and feel as if “compliments” are lies. I’m slowly falling apart and lose Interest in everything I do, how can someone put up with looking at me. I’m currently eighteen and day by day it’s progressing.. 💔
Im 17 and its the same for me.. try to talk to someone please dont let it get worse again, Im here if needed.
❤️❤️
You’re describing me! I was diagnosed at 14. 27 now a having a difficult body dysmorphia day... 😞
It hasn't gotten better for you? :(
Thank you for sharing your story And yes the isolation makes it so debilitating
thank you for this. I have been living my youth and whole adult life with BDD. I've often considered hacking off my own stomach. the thoughts that invade my mind are awful and I am so happy to know I'm not alone!!
Recovery is possible. I've had OCD and BDD all my life. I found having a structure and a purpose helpful. I truly understand the torment this illness can bring. Mine went into remission spontaneously, it's as though it just died down. Now and then I get a distortion but it's nowhere near the nightmare in my 20's
I don't have a support network and this is the first time I have open up. Thank so much know whats it like living with this disorder.
Thank you so much for you authenticity in sharing in this video! I only mildly struggle with BDD but my OCD is significantly more difficult to deal with. But there is so much carryover in what you’ve shared and I appreciate and can relate in so many ways to the years I’ve missed out on and the difficulties of trying to explain to others what I struggle with and also the fear of judgement over my mental illness like you said with the stigma it carries! I appreciate you sharing so much because it gives us the courage to share with others and I believe that that enables others to feel comfortable sharing their struggles!!! God Bless
This was really good. I can identify with so much of this. Thank you so much for sharing your story!
Thank you for sharing your story!
It is very helpful to hear this, thank you.
Thank you!!!
Good stuff
Wow! His explanation of BDD is exactly what I experience on the daily.
Wow amazing work
Thank you so much 😀
Untill like 7-8 years ago, I was obsessed with my face. Was up crying all night, trying to emulate future plastic surgery results with contouring many times. I am 34 now and I was fine untill recently, when I got my picture taken (those are the worst, live I kinda learned to like my face). For like 3 weeks now I am back in this rabbit hole and came across BDD. All this time I thought looking at my face in the mirror for hours on end as a teen was just a regular teenage girl thing, but now I have doubts.
Aw yes I’m overcoming this as well we are wrapped up in our own insecurities
You are using the SAME analogy as I do with people who suffer with anorexia!!!! That’s the only way I can explain it
Your are ubsoulutly right,
Cause I have been aslo diagnosed with BDD.
I was really smart student in my high school and used to study for hours daily along with that I had some signs of BDD, but they were not annoying me to much.
This ear i started my medicine school and directly start to feel that I have BDD.
I am alone and away from my family and I have been implementing what you mentioned, but it is really difficult to struggle with BDD, because of BDD my university marks are not great and this drive me crazy actually 😂, but I know that I will be OK back and will be a normal studen.
And I also know the thoughts which are coming to my Brain are bulshit, but it's difficult to controll.
Thank you.
Great video
Yes I agree
It has taken me almost a year maybe 10 months
I am attracted to a person who dresses really wild and I've always thought of as an expressive artist. They flirted with me pretty clearly for about 7-months until i asked them out on a date, and we had a big talk and they told me they have BDD. She admits she was flirting me quite intentionally, but I feel like I scared her away simply by asking her out. She is still nice. I almost feel ashamed that I saw their camouflaging as something to which I am attracted. From a BDD perspective, is flirting something one does for soothing. I want it to be genuine attraction to me, and then cold feet due to BDD when it gets real, but I understand how someone might flirt for sort of a validation. They didn't say no, they said they were definitely flirting but were not available right now due to some recent personal stuff.
Sometimes I feel urge to act more appealing way especially when I’m in the company of men. So it really doesn’t mean anything, I just try to camoufalge my uglyness. Try not to take it too personal.
This is literally my life and its sh!t
Wow
Me 😢
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