What is auDHD? Autism and ADHD Combined | The Neurocuriosity Club
Vložit
- čas přidán 19. 04. 2024
- What is auDHD? Well, on the surface, it's easy: it's autism & ADHD.
But the reality of being auDHD is actually really complicated. Because autism and ADHD are such different experiences, so when they go together, it gets...weird.
If you want to utilize my Autism & ADHD Discovery Binders to figure some of this out for yourself, you can check those out here:
theneurocuriosityclub.com/shop/
If you want to work with me as your coach (I cannot diagnose, but I can help with many of the traits discussed in this video) book a Discovery Call here:
calendly.com/theautisticentre...
To learn more about Neuroemergent Time, follow Marta Rose on Instagram:
/ divergent_design_studios
😊 Hi, I'm Megan Griffith, I'm an auDHD life coach for the neurocurious, meaning I love helping people who know they're neurodivergent, but aren't quite sure specifically where they fit yet.
🚨 DISCLAIMER: I am a life coach, not a therapist or doctor. I cannot diagnose anything, especially not from a CZcams video. Please use my videos as informational, rather than diagnostic. 🚨
💜 FREE Resources That Might Help You 💜
Housework, Hygiene, & Hobbies Executive Dysfunction Trainings:
www.theneurocuriosityclub.com...
You're Not Too Sensitive Webinar:
www.theneurocuriosityclub.com...
💜 Ways to Work With Me (18+ only) 💜
1:1 Coaching:
www.theneurocuriosityclub.com...
The Get Sh*t Done Program:
www.theneurocuriosityclub.com...
If you or a loved one is experiencing an immediate mental health crisis, please go directly to the nearest emergency room.
💜 You matter. 💜
I was diagnosed with ADHD aged 42. I have been told for years that i am autistic. I have two kids with both ADHD and autism. I have only come to understand that i am autistic in the last few months aged 45. Now i know why my life is on hard mode.
It's an honor to meet you, my fellow 42 year old AuDHD brother.
You diagnosed yourself. Don't do that.
This CZcamsr diagnosed herself, don't watch her doing that.
Jeez, don't any of you people have parents?
Omg yes, living life on hard mode was my experience since I left school. I liked the standardized way of learning and taking tests - I knew what was expected of me. I’m 30 years old and still struggle to understand what is really expected at work.
@@BlackPyramid-tn9edthis person is 45 - an adult. What’s your point?
@@BlackPyramid-tn9edI am 57. I am also a medical professional and I can read the criteria in the DSM. My parents disowned me 40 years ago, so why would that be relevant?
Internal screaming/meltdowns are extremely adaptive, like you said: Safer... but it's at an extreme personal cost that no one externally can see, evaluate, or even understand really.
Exactly. Internal meltdowns might be physically safer, but they come at such a cost :/
Right. I asked QUORA a question related to that.
I can feel the boiler motor of my mind overheating, all the gauges approaching the red.
Outside, I look normal... Maybe a little more pensive. But, calm and relaxed. And really,
I'm on the edge of publicly scream-crying.
I'm able to tell people, "I think I'm going to have a nervous breakdown." I was asking for help.
No one believed me... How could they think I was serious? My relaxed face and voice probably make it look like I'm trying to be funny or something.
Then it happened... I sat on the floor ugly crying for hours to my family. I mean, "wah-wah" scream crying. Horrible... Stupid... Pointless...
Even when my mind was done crying, my face kept on crying. Like inside my head, I KNOW that no one is bleeding, or choking, or on fire... Everyone is fine. Everything is gonna be okay! But, my face kept on crying and wouldn't stop.
I asked QUORA, "How do you impress upon people that you really are having a problem and heading to a meltdown/shutdown, when on the outside you appear calm and normal?"
An internal meltdown is like being stuck inside your body and your body is your own personal hell and you need to escape by any means necessary.
I got my ADHD diagnosis the year before my autism diagnosis. Both together explain SO much of my 40 years of life and I'm honestly kinda pissed that I spent so much of my life feeling like I was a failure of a person when in reality, I was just a totally different operating system.
Or, as one person so kindly put it, I wasn't a failed dog. I was a cat who did such a good job of pretending to be a dog that most dogs had no idea I wasn't one. 😂
You just gave me the best language to describe my neurodivergence, I love it 👌
I'm currently being diagnosed for the same thing, expected to get both, hence why I'm here..... I'm 38 as well. Its so frustrating knowing people missed this and i could have potentially had a better life. I hope you are doing well now.
I just got my Autism diagnosis but they eluded to the fact, I was ADHD (assessment in a few weeks time but that's a given!) I went for Autism first as I 'knew' I was ADHD XX
I thought I didn’t feel a lot for most of my life. Then I realized I was actually angry all the time. And then it clicked when I found out what being disregulated feels like to me (spoilers, it’s anger) 😬
Sorry bout the sudden warning Zenpie, but I'm gonna use you as a specialized and important Boxcar rq. Please continue to resume to your normal tasks before or after this message you sparked:
I know that feel. If you play Fallout, they have a mini nuke launcher, shoulder mounted. It's basically a catapult. I'm like that, but it's pent up anger that results in fits of verbal aggression at the source. ADHD is a nightmare, and any anger I do have is quickly burned up or vented!
If it goes past that, run, because if I don't have a way to vent pressure, and if I can't back up, I will run over the derail first to break myself before blowing up or running someone over like a steam train.
Just know that I have been getting help from videos with anger management, anxiety, all the mental train stops and shops for what I definitely have, repressed memories, and that list really goes on.
I feel like there are many ways audhders self-medicate, even unconsciously, with other things than substances. for example, i used to need to eat a whole tablet of chocolate before starting a demanding task for my executive function, in order to provide to my brain a sufficient enough dopamine level to be able to start
Chocolate caffeine and energy drinks along with lots of vitamins that’s my go to
Yeah, I don't eat that much chocolate, but still I think I use chocolate to self-medicate😖
Wow... That's a great idea! I crave chocolatey things, devil's food cake, brownies and anything called Chocolate Lava Devastation ... But, I can totally resist it ... Maybe my brain was crying for help? I'll try the chocolate bar method...
Side note: I also resisted the chocolate cravings very easily because I see the chocolate as reward BEFORE the Important Thing is done. So, obviously, "No chocolate for people who don't finish their shit!"
Which doesn't really work. I still don't finish... I still get no rewards... Don't finish... No rewards... Stuck...
In a cabin.... under two feet of snow.... And it's piling up more snow every few minutes.
I'll experiment with some chocolate.
Same. The only things that salved me this school year were sweets and music
*Chugs a red bull*
Whaat? Not me
I've said that AuDHD is sometimes like car whose brake and gas pedals are pushed the same time. The casual observer doesn't notice anything special going on, but it's really straining the engine and finding the balance is hard (kind of like the over/under stimulation). I often feel like I need to rest but I'm not able to as I want to use the free time to do something interesting etc. Also I just recently found out about the seven types of rest people need, and while my hobbies give me some kinds of rest, I should really focus more on making sure I get all kinds of rest I need.
Hey can you tell me more about the 7 kind of rest or if you can give a link
3:49 Re: emotional dysregulation, we need to remember that many of us* have also experienced significant trauma, often in childhood, so post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) or complex PTSD (C-PTSD) can add to the lability / fragility of our emotions. An unexpected reminder of a past traumatic experience can easily trigger a PTSD/C-PTSD flare, which - at least in my experience - is often difficult to distinguish from a "pure" neurodivergent meltdown or shutdown (I sometimes wonder if truly "pure" melt/shutdowns exist).
* autistic, ADHD, AutDHD, and/or otherwise neurodivergent
Yes to this. Trauma can absolutely be intertwined with autism, ADHD, and auDHD!
My mum had been diagnosed with borderline, ptsd, panic disorder, she'd been through DV and SA.
We've so much more information about ND and mental illnesses so to say and overlaps, misdiagnosises.
Basically I wonder if it would be beneficial to her if we considered the possibility of asd but then there's the Imposter feeling like she's 60 and I reckon a lot of older generations may be autistic but to them it's just them or other stuff, and so many people goin through mental health systems. And the confronting feeling "is this really my issue?" or what is normal and what's not
Yes!
I have childhood trauma and am pretty sure (but not diagnosed) that I also have ADHD or AuDHD and for me meltdowns feel very different than getting defensive when triggered. Before meltdowns I feel more sensorically sensitive than usual, irritated with everything and everyone, get more easily distracted and the longer I delay the meltdown the worse it gets, headaches and belly aches show up and everything feels painful and I feel I need to scream and hit something. Getting triggered feels more like a sudden snap, I get defensive (if it's fight, flight or fawn depends on a situation) and if it's a fight response my anger looks different than in a meltdown - I get laser focus, confidence and go and feel like a bulldozer, lol. Of course they can show up together and it's easier to get triggered while being overwhelmed.
But I can have a hard time differentiating shutdowns. Sometimes it's hard to tell if I'm ignoring or not hearing some emotions or if there were too many spoons in my bucket and I just need to recharge.
So, based on my experience I think 'pure' meltdowns and shutdowns exist. Also how I experience it may be very different than how it is for you and for others, but I hope it helped a little
I agree! I also have a PTSD dx so sometimes I get big imposter syndrome when I can’t identify why I’m feeling or reacting the way I am. I start telling myself I’m just difficult or need to “grow up” and start doubting myself and my diagnoses because I can’t articulate why I feel the way I do.
I usually say "undiagnosed neurodivergent", but truthfully this is the thing that I believe describes me the best.
Same!
The black and white thinking - Can that look like Very frustrated and anxious about something ambiguous but being okay with the thing being ambiguous once we're able to determine it's a genuinely ambiguous thing and not just that we don't understand the thing? Cause like, I Really hate ambiguity unless I'm sure the thing belongs in the 'ambiguity box'. And the ambiguity box is usually acceptable to me though I do still often feel the urge to poke at things in it to try to figure them out 😅
I can't believe.... That made total sense to me. I agree and I recognize that relief you feel when you confirm the nature of it's unconfirmability.
yesss
@@DancingCurrently Right??? xD
This makes so much sense it hurts🤦♂️
THAT is so accurate!
Bro why am i crying 2 minutes into this! Ive never self diagnosed myself with anything but even just the inital explanation hit so close to what ive been feeling for actual decades.
Definitely seeing a pattern here. I so have special interests, but only until my adhd gets bored and finds somthing new to hyperfocus on. The Special special interests I will get back to at some point. I forget to eat for long periods of time then get hangry and have no idea why. I can feel.the breeze of a person coming into a room and miss Ive cut myself and I'm bleeding.
I'm backwards of that 🤔 I think. I have a million little special interests that I refuse to let myself pursue because I desperately want to dive completely into them, but I know that I don't currently have the time, energy, money, and or space to properly pursue any of them. This is literally why I never went to college, I wanted to major in almost everything, I actually had a list over two pages long of all the things that I wanted to major in, but I didn't know what to do with that, and it took me years to narrow that down to where I would actually be capable of picking just 1 or 2 things from that list, but by then I had realized that I would probably never be able to adhere to the structure/rules/routines/deadlines of college considering that I barely managed to graduate from a charter high school after 5 years of driving all the faculty insane by taking all their routines and tying them in knots, ignoring most all their deadlines, doing my best to get away with taking more electives than core classes, and doing 2 years of summer school just to catch up.
I can't tell the difference between feeling hungry, feeling full, having a stomach ache, having a bad gas bubble, and tying my guts in knots from stress, but without even trying I can easily (and sometimes painfully) tell the difference between subtle nuances in music (which I can't play and have not studied) that most people don't even seem to be aware exist.
I flipped out once after being tormented for two weeks. I could postpone the meltdown with the idea that the situation would end after two weeks. When it didn't, I had to deal with both the continuation of the horrible situation but also losing my job if not back on time. I locked myself in the bathroom to have a complete melt down in never had before. Needless to say nobody cared for the reasons of my meltdown, and I was only shamed for having a meltdown.
All my meltdowns are internal. I can't get the image of a whole police squad throwing themselves on a man having a meltdown in his cell. He was in his cell and couldn't hurt anybody, the police was called and they came in full force on the man. I will be forever hunted by the terror of that poor man. I think it was in Belgium.
So, I always think don't give them an excuse to lock you up and throw away the key.
That is awful. A lot of pressure for you. I hope you find your release valves and are able to diffuse your tensions more frequently, with less intensity and less build up. Internal meltdowns even when we look blank and super calm, are no fun.
@@Plethorality Thank you very much for your kindness.
Yes, internal meltdowns run havoc on both your mental and physical health. Unfortunately, you are only treated for external symptoms. If you suffer in silence and don't bother anybody that means you are fine.
I am doing much better mentally since I got rid off all the toxic people in my life but physically the damage is done.
I am not saying this to complain even thou I have the right to.
I am saying this to warn people. Physical and mental health bounce off each other. You ignore one it will run havoc on the other
OMG!!! I HAVE NEVER EVER HEARD OF ANYONE ELSE RUBBING THEIR PAINTED FINGERNAILS ON THEIR LIPS TO CALM DOWN!!! I THOUGHT I WAS ALONE!!! I'm sorry for the shouting but hearing you say that made all of the emotions just burst out at once ❤
As a child I used to describe what I now recognise as my shutdown mechanism as "the little man in the back of my head". When things got too much, he would flip a switch and take over to make sure I looked OK on the outside so I could get on with silently screaming inside. It meant I had no direct access to the outside, but at least I kept smiling. Looking back, I'm sure I probably didn't _actually_ look OK, but everybody thought me weird anyway, so hey.
❤ This is one of the best videos, if not THE best video on the topic I have seen so far, so thank you!
Found out that I am AuDHD at age 48, in research mode for 2 years now. Got my ADHD diagnosis age 49, trying ADHD meds for the first time at 50, still waiting on autism assessment (2 year waiting list). Many struggles throughout my life, many other diagnosis, nothing ever helped … Still on my journey to find out how to improve the quality of my life. And of my AuDHD kid!
When you have auDHD it can be hard to remember which symptoms come from where 😅
🤣
I got ADHD from my Mom and autism from my Dad, meaning that I am a bundle of pure insanity! Also, I related to all of these traits you mentioned, so I'll say for sure that this video was very helpful! (Or at least, I THINK it was, I didn't pay attention to a few points, but I tried to) Thank you very much for teaching people about auDHD, you're making the world a better place! I wanted to give you more compliments, but my brain completely blanked out and it got so full that it's empty, or it's so empty that it's full.. Help???
Hullow, fellow combo. I get it. So many thoughts come out at once, that they bottle neck and jam up, and we end up with nothing, because we had everything, including footnotes, and it all got stuck.
Is that how it was for you?
And you are not insane.
@@Plethorality Howdy! I can say for sure that what you said is VERY accurate, and thanks for saying that I'm NOT insane lol
@@Plethoralityincluding footnotes!! you get it!
Exactly! And every word wants to come out all at the same time which is impossible so you only get out a meaningless piece of an idea that ACTUALLY implies the completely WRONG thing, the more you try to clarify, the worse it gets.
You can't fix it.
Then people give this "knowing nod" that means, "Ohhhh, I see... She's f√¢×ed up in the head."
Then they politely smile and excuse themselves. Or worse, they start talking "down" to you. Even worse, men will attempt to take advantage of me, thinking I'm stupid.
I don't lack for intelligence... it's just that... I must compose my thoughts... It takes me longer to digest situations and ideas and come to a conclusion. This disrupts a normal conversation. In an attempt to just respond.... Stupid things come out of my mouth. If I didn't know me... I would think I was an idiot, too.
Damn these comments are too relatable.
I think I also got ADHD from my mom and autism from my dad, mostly just speculation at this point though as we're all undiagnosed except for my sister who is autistic.
AuDHD here and new sub. Thank you soooo much for your thoughts on addiction. Sober now, but alcohol was my crutch when I needed it and I might not be here without it.
I can’t do ‘area of expertise’ cause it feeeels like it demands exceptionalism. I am very INVESTED in this area. Area of INVESTMENT perhaps. But if you demand me to tell you stuff about it. Thats just nerve wracking. It demands I be some sort of advertisement for my interest and if I’m not perfectly ‘academic’ about my interest ohhh it’s ~not that important~ to me. Uh no! Some people aren’t invested in a manner you can relate to. It feels like savant expectations. Nope nope nope I explode. My interest is simply so invested that if you suggest I need to think about it less, invest less attention to it, or suggest it’s not worth my attention, I explode into a flaming rage. How dare? That is my. SPECIAL. Interest. The word works for some.
(Ofc I loved the rest of the video but this part made mY black n white thinking go ‘ew no’. Happened earlier today too when I dismissed a recovery cafe cause it took too many steps to apply for what I thought would be comfortable and straight forward. But I realize okay yeah it probably works well for the people it works for, so it’s not like, the worst of suggestions/place. So I’m not against the term for others but I just. Whew. Hit with the ‘NOOOOO!! Don’t call it that for MEEEE’ in my head.
I have to find a way to word that if i wanna send this video to anyone cause the rest. Ough. I feel people just. Don’t get. Emotional Dysregulation and Meltdowns and the Pain Pain Pain of feeling like you’re spiraling out of control with no hand hold! OUGH. It’s been a rough year for that too.
I hope u can consider what I said despite the perhaps pressured way I worded it- for future chats bout special interest and other terms for such investments. I just feel a lot of shame around people assuming I’m like. An expert in my interest. I know more about it than others would maybe, I may be invested in parts no one else is, and it’s just. Hard to share sometimes. It doesn’t feel very ‘expert’ sometimes.
Needing the language, phrase, or word to be ‘just right’ is a part of my autism because I am very literal. It used to get me into trouble because the ADHD part of my brain with no filter would blurt out a correction when someone misused or mispronounced a word or phrase. I’ve finally developed the ability to mostly think before I speak, giving myself and the other person grace. When it does slip out, I make a joke of it about being a retired English teacher.
THANK YOU FOR SAYING THIS
I feel like an impostor everytime an AuDHD person speaks about their special interest(s) as if they got a degree in it and I'm just like... you guys can hold that much information in your brain..?
I forget stuff, all the time, no matter how much invested I am in it or how much time I've spent on it. My long term memory just kind of self destructs after a while and that means I forget even things that I love and I'm extremely interested in. Also, I consider myself to be a decent writer, but if I had to have a conversation out loud with someone and they asked me to talk about my special interests my mind would literally just go blank. I can't share what I'm passionate about and it's so frustrating seeing every other AuDHD person instead being like "haha I can't never shut up about my special interest, can I" because that's not my experience at all.
The way my face lit up when you said you rub your nail on your lip cuz they’re so smooth… I feel so seen 😅
Psychology is my special interest or recurring hyperfocus mainly because I had the feeling something is wrong with me since I'm a teenager (maybe it's ADHD, mabye autism or maybe AuDHD or something different entirely - still haven't figured it out completely)
I literally could have made this comment because everything you said describes me
That's the best description of masking I've heard. ❤
I really think I am both. I feel so stuck because I need help to move forward, but I need money to be able to get the help I need… but if I could maintain a job and function I feel like I wouldn’t need the help. It’s so hard, and I just don’t know what to do. >.< So I’m making do with what I have. It just so often feels like a losing battle. Thank you for the video.
It gets even more complicated if you've also got OCD as OCD and ADHD are often found together and they tend to mask each other. It's common enough that I recommend anybody with either diagnosis insist on being evaluated for the other. Most folks don't, but there's a sizable minority that do and when I got my dual diagnosis, it was a new thing that hadn't been possible for very long. At least from a diagnostic perspective.
But, if you've got both, an ASD evaluation is probably a good idea as OCD+ADHD can be confused for ASD and ASD can be completely missed if you've got both.
Yes to this! Differential diagnosis is so difficult and a professional can absolutely be helpful in that process. I'm glad you know what's going on with you now!
There's a high percentage of individuals with ADHD, ASD & DCD. Like myself.
@@tudormiller887That doesn't surprise me, I just don't know what portion that is and I doubt that anybody really knows reliably due to all the missed diagnoses.
Last I checked, about 30% of the folks out there with ADHD also have diagnosable OCD. It wouldn't surprise me if it's something similar in the other combinations.
@@TheNeurocuriosityClub It should be getting better. I'm personally looking forward to the schiZotype Autism Questionnaire coming out. It's a bit of a crime that it's taken this long for anybody to do the work to create a way of reducing the issues with schizophrenia spectrum disorders being confused with autism spectrum disorder.
That being said,just knowing that it's a likely possibility can make a huge difference.
Or if you have anxiety depression rsd cptsd and complex mathematics and spatial disabilities
That stimulation window piece spoke the most to me! It's one of the prominent factors of employment satisfaction and retention.
First of all, I loved your video and your style. Brava on the whole thing, I get the amount of work that is. I was happy to be educated and to see more resources for AuDHD folk.
I never had help like this when I was growing up, so by necessity, have had to be masked my entire life. I would have been killed or maimed if I hadn’t.
I wish you had covered the reason WHY people mask, being the and very real and many-times experienced danger of living as ourselves in a heavily mundane-normative and punitive world. It’s important to address how our true selves are Othered, Penalized, Incarcerated and Killed on a regular basis, due to prejudice against neurodiverse folx in the mainstram.
Plus the soul-deep damage that masking does to us. I keep uncovering layers even after decades of work on myself. We all do.
It’s not only not easy to unmask, many of us who value our lives *can’t* unmask.
Some may live in a safe bubble, but that does not speak to the experience of the masses of neurodiverse folx in the world.
I am a 64 year old psychologist with a 35 year practice in helping victims of such violence deal with their trauma.
I am also AuDHD & cPTSD (a video on this tripe-threat diagnosis would be great) from birth with no meds, help or anything but Othering, Minimizing and Silencing. Plus a lot of violence done to me without my will, which nearly all women with the AuDHD codiagnosis experience.
That kind of trauma takes a lot of work to recover from, and that’s who I’ve worked with in my career. Every single one of us would love to see more on the psychological nuances of these issues. You do good work. Thanks!
I’m legally blind and had never heard of people not using the term “time blindness”, I wonder if some people feel the same about face blindness. I’ll still be using them because they make sense to NT people but yea
Good LORD. A month or two ago, it occurred to me randomly how my personality is basically just a mix'n'match of other people's traits that I simply acquired throughout years.
I can't believe you just mentioned that.
I was diagnosed last year with both ADHD and autistic spectrum disorder, aged 64. I so much hope that I had been diagnosed earlier. I have had so many problems. To name one, I had meltdowns, just as you described them, and I did not understand what was going on, and my family was also at loss, because usually I was not like that. I had alexithymia. I was like blindfolded in my social relations. I hated noise and crowds and scratching clothes and changes. I was extremely absent-minded and chaotic. My moods changed very quickly and I was mystified: what is the matter? I had to learn to start tasks and complete them and it was hard. I was clumsy and hit myself to things so that I was always bruised. I had difficulties sleeping because my mind was so active. Etc etc. If only somebody had come and said: no, you are not a freak, you are not lazy, cold, overemotional, bad and mad, but your brain just works differently.
I really like that point at the end. I like to think of masking as compensation more than hiding. I dont think it's a bad thing for me to conciously care for others' emotions in conversation. I dont think it's hiding for me to get better at socializing. I came from a place of utter inability to socialize, and now I've built the habit of smiling and making eye contact. Might seem trivial to some. Not me.
YES! Someone else who rubs their fingernails on their lips!
I usually stroke one of my thumbnails on my cupids bow, it just fits so perfectly and feels so calming 😌
I got my official dual diagnosis recognition of Asperger’s and Combined ADHD in 2023 at age 42 as well
Autistic inertia is what got me unexpectedly diagnosed for ASD in 2002. So, starting and stopping is a well-known autism thing. Perhaps it factors into ADHD as well, I’m not sure about that: my statement “mind without an off switch” got me towards also getting an ADHD diagnosis last year. I do not have OCD as far as I understand it, nor do I have an anxiety issue.
Also, autistics can’t filter out all our sensory inputs so as a result, I think, comes along the issue of not being able to habituate to various sensory levels things such as mobile device alerts, which led me as a huge factor into autistic burnout last year due to moving into an obnoxious open office environment with a lot of talking as well as mobile devices with alerts at MAX VOLUME which the owners drowned out but set off my fight-or-flight response all the time.
And yes, I do have auditory processing disorder, and that sucks in that environment so bad.
Now that you mention it, special interest can be a bit of an issue for some of us as it's not like I'm actually interested in most of that stuff, it just gets in my head and is incredibly uncomfortable to the point of having a breakdown as I continue to binge on whatever information. And, each time it happens with a new area, it just gets faster and faster.
I have a question. So criterion C and D for autism spectrum disorder say that symptoms must be present in the early developmental period (but may not be fully manifest until life demands exceed limited capacities or may be masked in later life through compensatory strategies), and that they must cause clinically significant impairment in at least one area of life. This is REALLY hard for me to understand. Because I did have autistic traits in early childhood, but they didn't really cause me issues and when they did it was a lot more of an occasional thing. Now that I am older they are starting to cause more problems especially since I am almost an adult. I get overstimulated A LOT more often than I did when I was young, and ever since developing a lot more social anxiety (because I was an outgoing kid but was seen as weird and was being bullied/ CONSISTENTLY rejected because of my autistic traits like special interests and social behaviors in elementary school) the social deficits are becoming more obvious. But because they weren't as strongly present in childhood I don't know if I fit criterion C. since it was a more occasional thing that got worse as I got older. What confuses me about criterion D. is that I don't understand when something is clinically significant. I don't understand any sort of threshold between "normal" and "abnormal" especially when it comes to struggles. I do have issues almost daily (somedays being a lot worse and somedays where I have none), but I can't tell if they are strong enough issues in daily life to constitute autism, since at the end of the day autism spectrum disorder is a disability. Are you able to explain these more in-depth? This is the main thing hindering my understanding of myself and my suspected autism (not fully self-diagnosed since I don't understand those 2 criterion).
That was helpful. I was just diagnosed with AuDHD at 53 yrs old. I like the analogy of being at war with yourself. Does feel like it. Thank you 💗
honestly i've been loking for this kind of video for so long. i know now that i'm audhd but at the time when i wasn't sure and looked for more information, only a few videos have been as helpful as this one could've been to my doubtful self.
Yep....I'm 52, and I am an AuDHDer; bipolar/mood and anxiety disorder; OCD and C-PTSD. I was raised by a COVERT NARCISSTIC "mother". Everything you said is me 100%
This made me feel seen so much!! I relate a lot. Sorry if this is going to be long…
I had my diagnosis last week (an almost 5 hour session) and the psychologist was pretty sure I have ADHD but not sure about autism because, hold and behold, I quote his words “autistic people don’t care about making friends” (I would love to have more friends to hang out with my same interests but it’s SO hard socialising and maintaining friends) and “autistic people live in their own world, not really aware of the outside world”… he also took the DSM-5 book and literally started reading symptoms in children and saying that they don’t really apply to me. Okay sure, but I also forgot to tell him a lot of things that went on in my childhood and current situation and I’m so frustrated and confused. It’s funny because what made my whole 27 years of my life make sense was a specific video about autism (mind you, I did 2-3 months of INTENSE research beforehand). I’ve had a depersonalisation episode and I’m having frequent shutdowns, really struggling here… :/ in the end, I feel like an imposter 🥲
i was shocked when you mentioned the rubbing your finger nail across your lip bc i’ve never heard of anyone else doing it and i’ve been doing it for as long as i can remember. i am currently just getting into trying to get evaluated but have started to realize all these little quirks or personal struggles i have daily all sound like autism and just now addressing that!
OMG, I'm not alone!!!! Hello fellow nail-lip person! And good luck with the evaluation process, I hope it brings you everything you're looking for
I'm glad I found this video and your channel in general. I was thinking I might have one or the other for a very long time, and you explained all of that very clearly. It feels like I have 90-95% of these symptoms... Even though I can't get assessed by a medical professional right now, it gave me some peace of mind and courage to continue fighting. It's always great to realize what's actually going on and why...
Thank you.
It’s perfectly OK to self diagnose. I have an ADHD diagnosis that I got after my son was diagnosed in the early 90s.
I have suspected I was on the autism spectrum since the early 90s when I began working with students on the autism spectrum as a special education teacher.
Finally this year after many many hours of deep diving into being an adult with autism who went Without being diagnosed, I just claimed it. Affirming myself in this way has made so much of my life makes sense. It’s allowed me to forgive people who misunderstood me and responded in ways that really hurt or offended me.
One of my deans labeled me ’the queen of the outliers’ because the quirky kids and I liked to be together. Of course we did! The neurotypical folks made us uncomfortable at best and were just plain mean to us at worst.
@@eboronkay You're right! Thank you sincerely for such heartfelt response and for sharing your story. It made me feel warm and understood ❤ I often feel recognizing this helped me too in this way. Take care and have a great week!
Fantastic summary of what I never got diagnosed with until it amplified (in an nonlinear exponential cycle) and unmasked but was totally misunderstood and caused family estrangement while I was spinning my neurodiverse wheels as fast as possible to support everyone else. Decades of lost potential and years of misunderstood hell. My amplified AuDHD is being treated like the problem but it is actually the over reaction to my dynamically changing autism and ADHD symptoms. Burned out and still being attacked and misunderstood. Personal, Social, Legal and Medical hell for 4+ years and continuing. No real support.
I was diagnosed with ADHD Combined a couple of years ago. I believe I also have the symptoms of Autism & DCD. Watching in 🇬🇧
I often tell people that I have two sleep modes: Sleep is for the week, and I sleep for a week. :)
Thank God by the time I knew I was AUDHD (diagnosed ASD 12 years ago, ADHD not yet diagnosed but increasingly obvious) I'd already found myself on the CAS, trialing medical cannabis; it's the difference between life or death, being able to dampen down the aftermath of a meltdown.
I am OCD level when I organized or not at all and everything is complete chaos. If I clean I only know how to do it one way. The right way and will deep clean and alphabetize everything and lose all track of time. So if I do not have time to dedicate to that, I will not do it at all. When I do organize I get stuck doing things like matching the close to the hangers and putting everything in rainbow patterns. Alphabetizing cans in a pantry. Shit like that.
OMG 🙈 I'm 39 and my best bet is, that I'm auDHD. Some of my friends posted some content about ADHD on Instagram that resonated so much with me, I started digging. Even my partner did and I asked him yesterday and he said I'm for sure, 100% ADHD. Then I came across Autism and some of the traits really resonated (e.g.: I have stimmed all my life, there are videos of me at 1 year curling my hear and I still do it all the time. When I'm with people outside family I play around with a pen or something. When I'm on Teams calls, I use a self massager that can't be seen on the video. As a kid I ate all the skin around the nails and there was only flesh. I'm also totally hypersensitive, I hear absolutely everything and I haven't slept a night without earplugs in more than 20 years. Lights bother me a lot. Cloths bother me so much. The socks! OMG). But then I was thinking how is it possible. I can't be Autistic! I'm very successful and was a good student. Also I had friends. But I think it is all overcompensation and fear of rejection. My calender is full of reminders, else I would forget everything. Then I'm able to hyperfocus also. But the main part was always my fear of rejection, I'm sure! I had been working with a therapist some years back, which turned up this fear of rejection and my therapist thought it was because my parents weren't really loving and I was never enough. That's why I overcompensated and got good grades. My partner always tells me, that when we are with people, I talk too much about myself. I used to be rather shy as a kid and masked my condition by appearing to be an extrovert. But social situations actually scare me (the worst is when a train is about to arrive and there are a lot of people waiting. The anxiety I feel is next level!). When it comes to friends I realized I always had only loners as friends that were equally weird (during uni me and my best friend would meet up at the cinema, watch a movie together and then split parts again) and no friendships lastet very long. I live abroad in India and as a European here everyone wants to be friend with you and I guess that they just think people in my country are like this and are more likely to accept who I really am.
Thank you so much for this video! Sorry for this long post, I just had to write this all down in order to comprehend it myself 🙈
I was surprised by this video. I clicked by it feeling sure, but you gave us quality information on this dual diagnosis! Yay! Thank you!!!!!!! ❤
Autism/adhd and empath, the empath part makes certain things extremely hard. Peoples emotions and energy radiate through me and can cause chaos in my head in certain places. The one place i can be where i feel as 1 is hiking through the woods because of all the stimulation all at once. It gives me a euphoric feeling when i am there. My "BLAH" days are explained well here, i don't know how i feel at allllllll!! It can go for days sometimes and i am very unproductive but i will listen to music and stim. Learning more every day, thank you!! I could feel your emotions when you were saying how much it hurts!! I cried👍😎👻🤪🌶♾️
Thank you so much for this video! You did a wonderful job explaining this experience.
Idk what to say right now, but feel I must say something. All I can come up with is thank you. Thank you so much for being who you are and making this video... it's just hitting me so hard rn I don't have words, so just thank you, thank you so much ❤❤❤
Fantastic affirming video! Absolutely golden. You are amazingly gifted at explaining this crazily complicated subject. My internalized stigma just evaporated. One huge step closer to me having the strength to get my diagnoses. Thank you thank you thank you!
damn this video is making me cry, Im fighting to get my AuDHD diagnosis right now and I've been reading a lot about both of those things but separate and I have the constant feeling that when it's JUST ADHD I'm missing some core things even though the rest fits like a glove, and the exact same when its JUST autism. Hearing someone talking about stuff I've always felt like emotional desregulation is so liberating, I always thought I was imature, that I was simply "wrong" and needed to try to be better (even though it led me to just pushing feelings away and having meltdowns when it became too much).
I've also been high masking since a pre-teen, and I only realized it recently. And people always say "well, if it's so tiring just unmask" as if it's that easy, you are the first person that described how hard that process is thank you
Diagnosed ADHD. Self-diagnosed Autism (I have taken every accredited test and fall within the 90-99% likelihood). This video is one of the most comforting and relatable videos describing Audhd I’ve seen. What a gem 💎 I wish I could find a therapist or friend like you! Thank you!
I'm so so so glad I could be comforting! I'm not a therapist, but I am a life coach, and if you're ever interested in working together, I've got slots available (: Just book a Discovery Call or DM me on IG (@theneurocuriosityclub) Self-diagnosis always welcome!
I like the term "resource roundup". I've been doing this for myself, friends, and clients and didn't have a name for it. Thanks!
This is hands down the most helpful and comprehensive video explanation of both autism and ADHD I have ever seen. It puts it together so well! I’ve struggled for so long to do that but keep going around in circles. Thank you! 😊❤
You are soo amazing in describing these symptoms, it helps me so much with finding words to use when i see my doctor soon. I really want to say thank you for your work and content. And btw you are soo beautiful, you have such a nice smile. ❤
It's a fantastic video, so true and so important to be talked about. I appreciated you included the contradictions of having both, compensations from each and why it's so challenging to have diagnosed both at once if the doctor is not applying a holistic view. Well, it all is so important, even if it doesn't change the hard time in life having both, cos is easy to see how it looks and feels incoherent to deal with the traces of ADHD and Autism combined.
I just subscribed, I’m definitely looking to more content 😊 it is so wonderful to feel understood
Thanks for this video, I already knew that I’m adhder but recently got conscious of my autism condition as well. Audhd really describes how it feels to be me. I also do inward meltdown and they hurt a lot. I now have to learn how to do them in other ways that will be less armful.
Loved this you know your stuff. I got diagnosed at 26 it was blatantly obvious for years. With my background in occupational therapy you are the most knowledgeable on the topic on the CZcams platform.
Super interesting and helpful video. Thanks. Helps us to feel less strange and alone to know there's others like us.
I'd like to hear more of your perspective on dysregulation (and self-control or lack thereof) of various aspects of our curious brains including emotions, attention, energy/motivation, tolerance/handling of demands, etc. Dysregulation seems to be a common attribute across numerous parts of the AuDHD life.
Our family has one member with aspergers with associated learning disorders, with the cusp of Add + Adhd, with perverse language disorders, development delay and the list goes on and on and on the different disabilities, disorders, you need to be prepared to learn, and you need an enormous amount of patience. How it is for us, when one is functioning, the others are not. When the others are functioning the autism is not. It goes into rest, silent, dormat mode for a time so it goes from one to another, without warning. Plus the long list we have had to deal with that is beyond challenging for all including the medical and specialists and all the other fields, such as education that have had to deal with it. We got there and stil getting there. Yes we go through what you go through. Its about having emotional intelligence to deal with the emotional dysregulation, including the build up, its like a bomb that can go off for the whole family, but you can learn, we go through that and within a very short time, we are back in peace, quiet what we really are , we have and know how to deal with it and are experienced at it, and the member is really good at naming emotions. They don't feel emotion, but they hear it in people's voices. Even if people try and hide it, they can still hear it.
Wow! I have all the traits you've mentioned!! I self-diagnosed as Autistic and have had other Autistic confirm it, but also have had strangers ask me if I'm ADHD or Bipolar... Maybe I'm actually AuDHD? But living in Japan... there's very little support for mental health issues and getting a diagnosis online is so expensive there's no way I could afford it without winning the lottery! I love this information, thou! Thanks for gathering it together and presenting it so nicely! You're adorably cute and remind me of my bestie! I wish you all the very best! 🥰
Before diagnosis, I thought I was having panic attacks, which supposedly make an individual feel like they are dying. Realized after diagnosis that those panic attacks I thought were happening were more likely meltdowns. They are painful, and they feel like the world is crashing down on top of you. And they can be so exhausting because your whole body goes through it that I can't stay awake the rest of the day despite being a well-seasoned insomniac.
I also want to say that I've had my AuDHD diagnosis for about a year and a half now and kept doubting because of the hyper/hypo stimulation. I thought I couldn't be autistic because I could deal with my socks for example, or really loud music, but then put me in front of the buzzing freezers at the grocery store and suddenly I can't handle it. Just wanted to say, your description of that narrow window makes a lot of sense and has me a lot less doubtful. Thank you for your explanation!
I'm so glad my description could be helpful, and that you've recognized that your meltdowns are not in fact panic attacks. So helpful to know!!!
I found you at the right time, wow. Been down the trail of 'wow autism is resonating with me, like A LOT, maybe I am AuDHD' Your video came out just over a month ago, wonderful breakdown and explanation! Thanks!
(also, the subtitles had a heyday with this, 'be a DHD' "Ah yes, I do fancy myself as a Dial Home Device")
When you explained it I now know what you mean. Never in my life have I heard that terminology though for it. It's just a dual diagnosis.
I love you Meg! And living for your hair changes:) perfect
After the first two traits I became convinced that this is something I have, This really explains my life more and makes me really grateful thank you🙏
Thank you so much, I’m 29, and only now understanding all of the trauma that I’ve had. Crying
Great explanation. Very clear and easy to understand.
OMG. You are the clearest individual to plug into me yet. I am lost like nobody’s business and don’t know how to get found. AuDHD IN NYC and there’s no one to help adults in this town. Only if one is a zillionaire…
or an immigrant xD
Honestly, I suspect that me and my bf are both audhd 😅 no wonder that every our day is filled with comedy and drama in the same time. We were at the verge of breaking up several times but can't let go of each other too. Emotional disregulation, feeling wierd all of a sudden at any day, fatigue, shutdowns, panic attacks etc we've been thru it all. To be honest, we use pot to calm our nerves. For us it's really works, feeling physically and mentally more stable, more energy to do things. But I'm sure it's not for everyone. Doing yoga and cycling outside also really helps to regulate mood swings and gives dopamine. And of course, good sleep and food 🎉 hang tight there folks and good luck ❤
One time I was in full meltdown status and all my dad did was scream at me. When I said “do you think I enjoy this? Like do you think this is fun for me?” And he said “you know, sometimes I think you do.” And when I was saying how unfair it is that I am the only one who has to go to therapy, he told me that he will never and I said “why are you too manly?” And he said yes. Lmao.
I wish my mum would watch this, but " it's just not important to me"
Very informative information! Thank you !
When you described the meltdowns, I finally felt understood. Thank you ❤😢
I was diagnosed with autism in January 2023 and was then diagnosed with ADHD in December 2023. At the age of 50/51. I've never known who I was/am, so it's been a nightmare. I have tried medication (concerta), but it made my feel like i was medically masking.
This is the first time I've heard of alexithymia - I've experienced and tried to explain it throughout my life but this is the first time I've heard of someone else getting it, thank you!
Damn, I love how you describe "masking"
This was so timely, I get my results next Monday for my autism evaluation. I'm diagnosed as adhd. I'm scared I'll get told it's not also autism bc then idk what's extra wrong with me lol
Explained very well
2:20 lol i wear a hoodie everywhere even in summer. People are always like "aren't you hot?" And I'm like "maybe..."
So on point 😭😭
Also struggled with self medication, eating disorders and panicky attacks and complex alienation. Everything is masking. I see my identity is an observer and everything else is what I have to do to survive.
Yikes. I certainly check off many boxes. ACEs, sensory, auditory, the internal screaming, the masking, i find it all fascinating of course bc. Psychology is super interesting to me. I had so many questions for my professor in that class i wish i had courage to ask
very very helpful video tysm
I have restless feeling. But don’t stim like I used to by fidgeting.
Excellent content!!❤
Thank youuuuu (:
WHOA neuroemergent time is SUCH a cool term!!
Right???
I'm a diagnosed audhder and this is kinda true especially with the autistic meltdown part
Thanks.
I have seen several adults get up and move around in a meeting. They always blame it on a painful back. But maybe thats only an excuse.
you're so right about the nails! LOL
Wow, I definitely have ADD. But this is a huge eye opener for me. The meltdown makes a lot of sense to me. Then, 10 minutes later, Im good. I was told I get frustrated fast but bounce back quickly.
I found it curious that you put "Difficulty starting, finishing, & switching tasks" in the ADHD section 16:01. I'm not disagreeing, necessarily, I'm just wondering how other people think about it. Personally, I think of my struggle to start a task as my Autism (inertia), while my inability to stick to it as my ADHD. Sometimes my ADHD doesn't show up and I get it done or sometimes the looming deadlines puts me into hyperfocus. Sometimes it just doesn't get done 😅. And then, difficulty switching tasks is tunnel vision/monotropism. Curious what other people think about it. I kinda wonder if this isn't all just a symptom of monotropism (so both/neither ADHD and/or Autism)🤷
For me I find the same and I'm adhd.
The melt downs... My temperature shooots up. My chest gets tight. When you said it's painful, I felt that. But tbh I shutdown much more. I go nonverbal.
Watching through the autism section video, I'm thinking: Wow, I really relate to this. Makes sense bc I have an autism diagnosis!
The adhd section: Wow I really relate to this too! Wait, that isn't also a trait of autism???
1:45 Awww, too bad, I was excitedly reaching to press that subscribe button, but then you said this channel is for those who think they might have ADHD or Autism, which is too bad for me, because I am quite certain that I have both of those oft-maligned superpowers!
Well, better luck next time. I hope some other channel that you start will suit me better!
Lastly, just to avoid any disappointment this may have caused you, I was just joking with you! Of course, I will subscribe!
I hope you won't mind if I lurk around your community, just to see your pretty face a little more often than never!
If I want to gain time, I rather x3, x4 the playbayback.
It's so exhausting to be AuDHD. 😣