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You'll Never See Social Anxiety The Same After Watching This |🔥
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- čas přidán 21. 10. 2015
- Hi, my name is Seb. I’m a former #SocialAnxietyDisorder sufferer, the host of a popular podcast show (Social Anxiety Solutions) and a social confidence coach.
Since 2009, I’ve helped hundreds of #sociallyanxious clients feel #calm, #comfortable and at ease socially.
I’m in (symptomless) self-quarantine due to the #CoronaVirus. And I got inspired by people like the quarantined Italians singing from their balcony. And well, I’ve got a lot of time on my hands now…
Anyway, I decided I could help by creating a free 30 day Social Confidence Challenge for all of you who suffer from #socialanxiety.
Because what a perfect opportunity this is to reduce your social anxiety!
Now the mainstream belief is that the only way to do this is to #ChangeYourThoughts, and force yourself to #FaceYourFears
Since this didn’t work for me (I’ll share more in the challenge) I had to find #AlternativeWays. And eventually, I created a different approach.
My approach builds on the foundation of #traditional #WesternPsychology, but adds a very important component:
Addressing the #EMOTIONAL SIDE of your social anxiety issue.
While I will help you change your mindset, and while facing your fears is included, I go about it in a much #LessStressful, and far more #EffectiveWay.
How?
You face your fears internally. And then you #release them.
For this, we use a #powerful, #scientificallyproven to be #effective #EmotionalReleaseTechnique. Details about the #technique and how to use it to #OvercomeSocialAnxiety are beyond the scope of this brief message.
----------------------
This video is a generalized summary to illustrate that social anxiety is a program that your brain runs based upon perception. And that the perception is governed by beliefs. And that these beliefs can be changed. Once you change the beliefs responsible for the perception of danger, social anxiety is gone. There is none. Zero.
Many people have asked me about the ending of this video. "Great, but it's not that easy! How do you change your beliefs?! You can't just do that". And they are right.
A belief is a thought or an idea you're emotionally connected to, as a result of conditioning and painful life experiences. And just "changing your thoughts" won't work. Saying to yourself "I am good enough" won't do that.
Social anxiety isn't a logical problem. And therefore You need to address things on an emotional level in order to have your beliefs shift completely. Once you do, you can completely overcome your social anxiety. I bet that's hard to believe for you if you've been struggling for a long time (and, pretty everyone has been struggling for a long time) and you've tried things. But what if what you tried hasn't been the right approach for you? Or, what if that's only been mildly helpful, and there are ways that are far more effective?
Until I found EFT - a silly-looking technique to rapidly release excessive negative emotions (you know, the shame, insecurity, worthlessness, fear, anxiety etc that we struggle with so much). That was the technique that made the difference. It has then been a long path of trying to figure out how to apply that technique to overcome my social anxiety because mine was complex and severe. But thanks to the help of EFT tapping and some brilliant therapist I've now been anxiety-free for years.
I also have video testimonials of former clients who overcame their social anxiety. They've become so at ease with themselves, and they don't care anymore what others think that they're willing to share.
There's really a way out of it. Don't give up, suspend your disbelief, break your skepticism by giving this a try.
#You Will_Never_See_Social_Anxiety
#Social_Anxiety_Solutions
#Social_Anxiety_Symptoms
#Social_Anxiety_Treatment
🎯Don’t Forget To Subscribe: bit.ly/3145G2h 🎯
Want to overcome your Social Anxiety without awkwardly facing your fears?
Start with the FREE "7 Secrets to Social Confidence "Mini Course!
Bonus: Get a 22 minute Transformation Video to instantly reduce your Social Anxiety!
Sign up and begin reducing your Social Anxiety today!
bit.ly/socialconfidencenow
Most of us know there's no danger, we know the way we're behaving isn't rational. The problem is you can't stop it no matter how many times you tell yourself everything's fine.
xHarlequin The amygdala doesn't care about the cortex.
xHarlequin you cant tell yourself everything's fine, that doesn't work.
tell yourself you don't care what they think of you, good or bad. why should you care, anyway? if they think ill of you for petty reasons why should you value their opinion anyway?
***** that still doesn't work. Cortex based reasoning has little affect on anxiety, but little is something I guess.
Gavin Douglas I've tried that my whole life, it doesn't work. Trying not to care what anyone thinks is the problem
xHarlequin your brain needs proof, not words that deep inside you dont believe in yet.
I prefer calling it the "fuck fuck fuck response"
OH MY GOSH YES
SAAAMEEE
That's way easier to say
Sounds like a good time to me!
Best description I've heard yet.
I also have extreme social anxiety, just by reading these comments calms me down into thinking I’m not alone..
You def not alone. Im from Austria and just understood my problem and now work on it .
PLO 8 hey ich auch
Deela exactly.
Mir war das nicht so bewusst. Ich hab mich isoliert und nur noch gezockt und gedacht der grund wäre depression. In wirklichkeit wollte ich nicht raus weil ich mich schlecht unter menschen fühle. Ich weiß jetzt das ich ne Sozial Phobie habe. Üble Krankheit, aber es kann nur besser werden man sich dem Problem stellt, verkriechen macht es nur noch schlimmer. Hab mich gerade für ne Therapie angemeldet, viel glück 32playlpHD
PLO 8 werd ich nicht, aber viel glück. Grüße aus Salzburg
- I feel uncomfortable talking to people
- I feel uncomfortable about how I walk
- I feel uncomfortable going outside
- I feel uncomfortable around strangers
- I worry about upsetting people and about what they’ll think of me
- People either think I’m passive and quite or that I’m stuck up and anti social
This is me
Ohh Fuckk
It's Me
Me too! Everyone calls me "Self centered" because of it like bruh.
Nesmée O’Hara i always feel like I’m going to trip while walking so I have to really focus on my steps all while feeling like people are looking at me strangely lol 🤦♀️
I'm actually a bit of both. Weird I know...
How to avoid social anxiety: stay at home
Edit: I was joking, calm down
sooyoungfanclub running from your problems isn't going to make it go away
Totally!
+Hidan HQ
Long term no, but short term yes
I've been staying at home and my social anxiety just got worse. Talking to people, however, made me comfortable. But when I go home, that's when crap happens. I overthink everything, from every word they'd blurted, to those that I thought they didn't. But I guess it varies from person to person. What I want to say is that to avoid social anxiety, you should face it head on, and be as honest as you can be with yourself and others
duly noted
Social Anxiety is the worst, it's so detremental as we are very social creatures. People always think you're just "Quiet" :(
Ross I know salvation from him
Ross ugh its annoying even my friends are like "why are you quiet" like excuse you?!
Ikr ;-;
Or "Shy", "A(nti)social" (sarcasm intended), and they think you look low to other people
Ross Yes! It’s so annoying.
I feel like this is the least understood disorder. Everyone just judges you cuz your so quiet. They don't even think about how you feel
Can agree on that. But I also think that people aren't psychics to know that.
@@andremaximiano7170 the thing is that when you try and tell them, they simply tell you "just stop thinking and worrying" or "just talk" like that solves everything, like if you are choosing to be that way.
@@andreusky7407 I guess other people do misjudge a lot people with social anxiety disorder.
I don't think social anxiety is quite what I have. I do think I'm pretty awesome, I speak more than one language fluently (only 4% of people in my country is bilingual), I play the guitar, I'm a good artist, I play sports (not great but above average) and I do pretty well in my studies but when I'm around people I feel uncomfortable, like as if I don't belong there. I have no close friends and at school, I'm mostly working on my own things and don't interact much with the people around me but I'm a senior now and I'd like to be more sociable and maybe even make some friends. What should I do? I feel uncomfortable around everybody, no matter the age or gender, I don't even understand it myself. I'm not even close to my own family, just typing this out is making me feel kind of lonely. I would appreciate it if somebody could help me.
@@andreusky7407 the number of time i have been told that. if it would be that easy believe me my life would be a whole lot different.
I really feel envious of people who doesn’t have social anxiety
O_O pucca!
silver毕 same
Silver Finnie how do they not have it
Fvck social anxiety. I got a little social anxiety after a devastating break-up with my girlfriend. Best thing to do is brainwashing yourself into believing in yourself, telling yourself that you love yourself and looping that exact thought in your head instead of unnecessary anxious thoughts. The most important thing however is taking action that proves to your subconscious what you are telling yourself.
Talk with people wherever you are and embrace yourself. Youre unique and awesome. Even if youre talking bullshit, its still better than being in your head all the time and pumping cortisol into your system. My social anxiety came because I had spent so much alone time with my girl that I forgot how to be socially fluent with other people. So work on your social skills, that will make you more confident as well.
Focus on your body. Breathe deeply and slowly and when you walk into a room look around, dont be afraid of making eye contact with everyone. Youll see that nothing crazy happens and that realization will subconsiously make you calm down as well. Make yourself comfortable wherever you are. Sit comfortably and when youre standing just lean your back against a wall or something. Talk to all people. Why would you care what others think about you? Just tell yourself that you can not control what others think, its their private thoughts, so why would you care. Why would you even have the right to care?
Hope these little nuggets can help some people. They surely have helped me.
Very thoughtful and insightful. Cheers.
(y)
Macon A. Fortune agree
solid advice
Also always remember that you never have to impress anyone! Just do your thing and make yourself comfortable in the world ;)
I was painfully shy as a kid and young adult. I finally got over it when I stopped caring what people thought of me. Of course that took almost 45 years.
that's a long time
Martin Smith didnt take me a year
Martin Smith it took me 2 or 3 months
Serratus Anterior how? share your experience please with us
desert rose I started meditating every day for 30mins
it's kind of annoying when people say I'm shy or anti-social. It's not that I'm scared or just don't want to be social, I can't. Whenever I have to speak, do something or be around a group of people I'm not comfortable with, it feels like I'm dying. Literally. I hate having social anxiety, especially when I want to talk to people. It holds me back so much. No one I know experiences the same thing so they don't really understand. I hope to overcome my anxiety, especially with me going to college soon and having to do things on my own.
I'm even praying that someone I know doesn't somehow watch this and see my comment 😂. That would kill me.
Omg saaame I just turned 18 and I'm dying every day, everything that easy for others is a nightmare to me
@The Last Call That is such a common misconception. I see this happen to a lot of people including myself.
@@dariabattisti669 same here
TyRaujé Jefferson girlll i’m in the exact same boat 💀 she
I'm 38 and only realised that there was a name for it about a year ago... I've been like this since childhood but I was just told IM just shy. Which didn't make sense because Im very lively around my close friends. I think it's great that you now know what it is so you can begin to fix it. Wishing you all the best *hugs*
All my people with social anxiety let's get together and talk. Oh wait we might have a problem.
Oscar Rodriguez 😂😂😂
Oscar Rodriguez lol
Oscar Rodriguez this nigga 🤣
Hahaha this would be an excellent comedy sketch
Lmao
This video gave me anxiety about my anxiety in social situations
back when i used to have social anxiety reading or hearing about it also made me start feeling the anxiety, it's strange
Julian Snow same!!!
That's what I'm saying lmao
this comment gave me anxiety because you got anxiety because of a video about social anxiety
your comment gave me anxiety because you got anxiety over a comment about someone getting anxiety
I could be around people I've known for years and social anxiety will still kick in
Luke Duke Bellamy sameeeee!!! I thought I was the only one :(
Luke Duke Bellamy actually, i've read somewhere that social anxiety acts up with people that we know than strangers. because strangers know nothing about us so we feel confident.
Luke Duke Bellamy I feel you
Damn bro, I get you. Stay strong my brother
Luke Duke Bellamy same it sucks
S.A.D. is the perfect abbrieviation for Social Anxiety Disorder
😂 true
LOL!
😂😂
Anxiety has ruined everything in my life
Dont say it has destroyed your Life mor then Hers. Every Life has the same Value. Nessi Lewis im from Austria and Anxiety feels in this country not good either :/
Devia Tor dude, its some random picture of the internet. Someone who really has social problems wouldnt post a public picture like that.
My comment is just a reflection of my love for boobs.. XD
Same. Especially my grades..and I have no idea how I'm gonna bring up a D+ to at least a B- before Tuesday..yay life..
nessie lewis never said anything to my crushes and my graduation was over by last month and I don't even have a girl friend up to now
this is very much 'easier said than done'
you're very right about that. However, by using EFT the process can be made a lot easier (and relatively painless, too). You can hear many psychologists, coaches, healers and psychotherapist share how effective this technique is for overcoming anxiety, on my Social Anxiety Solutions podcast. Dr David Lake, psychotherapist with 33 years of experience, says this about it:
"I used to think that myself (that I would have to live with my fears for the rest of my life) as it was my evidence from the real world and it was also true in the psychological and medical profession in the usual sense. And it's been true for many many years. But, approximately 20 years ago things started to change; a whole new paradigm emerged. In this paradigm, the so-called energy psychology, it turns out that even though when you don’t know exactly how it works, you can actually help three kinds of serious human emotion to minimize and even disappear. One is most kinds of anxiety. Two is most kinds of fear. Three is most kinds of deep hurt, related especially to trauma. I don't mean right away, or in one go, or in 10 minutes, but over time the most astounding things can happen to those feelings that have been typically out of reach for other treatments.
Other treatments, which I call outdated, typically are cognitive treatments working in the mind and most people think that's where the problem lies, but I no longer believe that. I think the problem is not in your mind, I think the problem is in your feelings which is somewhere coded or logged or anchored in your body. It is a brand-new day when you can actually reduce anxiety fear and hurt without even knowing what caused them because if your body is processing these feelings away from where they are stored. And once they are gone they are gone.
When I found out I could release the fear I could actually not believe it. This is the reason I actually entered the profession (psychotherapy), to be able to get these kind of results, and for many years I never could, I was amazed. And now that you can get these kind of results I'm equally amazed the most of the profession doesn't want to know about it! It is life-changing, the results are very very compelling."
You can listen to his interview here: www.social-anxiety-solutions.com/podcast/12-how-to-become-emotionally-strong-and-have-healthy-boundaries/
you mean placebo
When you've been misled many times, it's a lot harder to believe things. Your trust in others dies down naturally. EFT is not aa "placebo". I suggest doing your own research. Wikipedia, is not a reliable resource, even though it shows up high in google.
Energy psychology has over 60 published studies in peer reviewed journals such as the Journal of Clinical Psychology, the Journal of Nervous and Mental Disease and the American Psychological Association’s journals Psychotherapy: Theory, Research, Practice, Training and Review of General Psychology.
Of these 60 studies, 20 were Randomised Controlled Trials, with 98+% of findings supporting the efficacy of energy psychology. Of the studies looking at follow-up from 3 months to 2 years, 100% found that the gains held.
For details on these studies and more, go here (www.energypsych.org/?Research_Landing) and here (www.eftuniverse.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=18&Itemid=21).
Why would I be mislead? In fact you are misleading everyone by promoting something that is completely based on pseudoscience. Just think about the words "Energy Freedom Technique". What is this energy that is being freed? Please explain to me this energy that flows through us. Do you mean the Chinese philosophy of Chi? Because that has been discredited again and again by actual science.
I will acknowledge that something is not due to placebo when there is sufficient evidence but how can you possibly test that when the treatment is "tapping" and hence can't be double-blinded. Some studies might show there is a statistically significant decrease in some emotional stress but there is no evidence whether that is actually due to the tapping or the placebo effect. Find me a paper that addresses this huge methodological problem.
And remember, just because a study is published doesn't mean its always peer-reviewed. The impact factors of the journals that the papers were published in are not strong which is clear evidence that EFT is not supported by the larger scientific community.
Even worse, the majority of papers on EFT are not even conducted by impartial researchers. Hard to "believe" anything written by someone that has a personal connection to the research question.
I took the liberty of going through the reference list on the 2nd link you posted (which is not even a proper reference list) and I went through all of the ones that were primary research articles AND randomized to check if they were peer-reviewed. Literally none of them were so...
Weak "evidence".
Thanks for your thoughtful reply Hannah. I'm not a researcher, I'm just sharing the links to the research. If you say it's weak evidence I'll take your word for it :-) I know there is ongoing research going on for Energy psychology, and more studies are appearing. And, from my limited understanding, things being 100% scientifically proven and accepted by mainstream takes time. Even the best scientific advances have taken many years to take hold. For some what is currently there is enough to at least give it a try, others need more scientific evidence. Whatever floats your boat. I tried it, and I'm forever grateful I did. I gave it a go even though it looked weird. All I can honestly say is that it works for me. And not just a little, it's changed my life, and I'm not the only one. The free eft manual (emofree.com) has been downloaded over a million times, EFT is being promoted by PhD's, doctors, it's been on several TV programs, popular magazines, you name it. And I'm just one guy sharing it. It might have more value to you when you hear the same/similar message from the many doctors, psychologists, therapists and so on whom I've interviewed on my podcast. They share how it has revolutionised their practice, getting results with clients much faster, much more gently, and how they helped clients get results for which no other treatment worked. Here's for example a quote from Dr David Lake (on this episode: www.social-anxiety-solutions.com/podcast/12-how-to-become-emotionally-strong-and-have-healthy-boundaries/), a psychotherapist who's been in practice for well over 30 years:
"Approximately 20 years ago things started to change; a whole new paradigm emerged. In this paradigm, the so-called energy psychology, it turns out that even though when you don’t know exactly how it works, you can actually help three kinds of serious human emotion to minimize and even disappear. One is most kinds of anxiety. Two is most kinds of fear. Three is most kinds of deep hurt, related especially to trauma. I don't mean right away, or in one go, or in 10 minutes, but over time the most astounding things can happen to those feelings that have been typically out of reach for other treatments.
It is a brand-new day when you can actually reduce anxiety fear and hurt without even knowing what caused them because your body is processing these feelings away from where they are stored. And once they are gone they are gone.
When I found out I could release the fear I could actually not believe it. This is the reason I actually entered the profession (psychotherapy), to be able to get these kind of results, and for many years I never could, I was amazed. And now that you can get these kind of results I'm equally amazed the most of the profession doesn't want to know about it!
It is life-changing, the results are very very compelling."
That podcast show is here if you want to check that out: www.social-anxiety-solutions.com/sas-podcast/
And hey, if it's not your thing that's OK there are more ways that lead to Rome :-) Wishing you all the best on your journey.
I have social anxiety, I hate it so much when people tell me to stop worrying about what other people think of me, even when I tell them I can't, IF I COULD STOP WORRYING THAT EVERYONE IS JUDGING ME I WOULD.
Tammie Waplington . Exactly or you get "just don't think about it" 🤔
Lol so true
Mark Colabella I went through almost the exact same situation growing up with a "step dad" he was always shit to me and my brothers and my own mother. He would never let us have opinions, we had to do whatever he wanted and the worse part is how my own mother let him pawn us off as his own psychological fuck ups to this day. My brother was recently diagnosed with depression and aspergers. I haven't had a diagnose yet, but i need to. I believe I'm suffering from similiar situtations
Tammie Waplington 6677uuuuyuuu
Tammie Waplington Never related to something so fucking mutch
My social anxiety is so bad that it took courage to even post this comment
omg same
Like so much hestation....
bimmerboy50 If you don’t interact with others on the internet or post comments much, it’ll be harder to type a comment.
yup
Lmao !!! but think about it your better then everyone, even me
" *Hey, why are you so quiet* " ??
I feel like you know what everyone is asking me my whole life. I always say "I just like to be quiet" and mostly it works. Thankfully.
Oh my godd...
The same people tell me this EVERYDAY.
Im like... "Because i got nothing to say, why do you care?"
How do anyone even answer this question like wtf
Me
This video gave me anxiety about my anxiety in anxiety situations
ikano BG im dead
Your comment gave me anxiety about my anxiety from watching this video about anxiety in anxiety situations! Now I'm anxious whenever I read comments under anxiety videos! THANKS!!!
thats fucking deep lmao
Adam Downes haha
Me too i'm actually having trouble breathing right now. :O
when you actually try to interect because "no one will judge you" but then you screw up just like you thought you would.
I WASNT MADE TO BE SOCIAL bye
Beatriz true (´•̥ ̯ •̥`)
true thing but we need to earn don't we hahahaha
Beatriz 🙄🙄🙄🙄 exactly
Antisocial for life
I have social anxiety, but my parents aren’t supportive about it whatsoever. I don’t even know why, but I started crying so much while watching this.
the problem is I don't know anyone or heard of anyone in my life who has severe social anxiety. I think many people have social anxiety to some degree, but some have severe social anxiety and don't even talk in public, or in class except to a limited number of people such as parents, siblings, and teachers. this is my situation. I talk to a counselor at school about my social anxiety, and she tries to help me with it and is trying to set up a meeting with my parents. my parents just don't understand social anxiety, and continue forcing me to speak when it's much harder than they say. until my parents understand what I'm going through, my counselor says she will find programs that I can join that will help me. but it wasn't that easy, because I forced myself to say a few words to her and I am still not that comfortable speaking yet even though it's confidential, and there is only one person. I don't think meeting another person with social anxiety will help me much, because most likely we won't even talk to each other.
PLO 8 it’s not surprising because I had a similar experience. I was always really quiet, and socially awkward. then I became selective mute when I was 11, I’m now 15 and just starting to get help. I became depressed when I was 14 until now. I missed school, slept all days, had no motivation to leave home or to go anywhere. I slept at 2 am because of my insomnia, and could not get up until around 9 pm most days. I hated being in an “unsafe” environment. I would have anxiety attacks every few minutes, and when the attention was on me I would freak out and cry. instead of school, I stayed home to sleep and cry all day about how I hated how I was, I was ugly, had such horrible social skills, etc. my parents got frustrated with me for being depressed and having social anxiety, and they always refused that something was wrong with me. for years, they never took me to a doctor to see if I could get diagnosed and it just got worse because I was never sure that something really was wrong with me. I was always told I was attention seeking, or just being lazy. that’s why my counsellor is meeting with my parents to explain to them about it, and to convince them to let me get help. it’s really up to my parents if I get treatment or not, and most likely they won’t even care.
Reading everyones comments here is like therapy!! To have social anxiety is very isolating. Since we hardly ever discuss it with our peers we believe that we are the only ones who experience it. We feel like we are somehow worthless, but seriously how many of us are annoyed by the loud obnoxious people? Why don't they feel bad about themselves because they are so annoying? I have found it helpful to make friends with other "quiet" people and also the best jobs I ever had were ones where I cared for very young children or the elderly. I found these people to be less judgemental and I was able to gain confidence. I'm middle aged now and though I tried very hard to change who I am it didnt really change much. I just learned to hide it better. I mimic the more social people...but aside from that I ADORE my alone time. It always annoys me when people say that WE are social creatures. NO WE'RE NOT, but you know what else, THAT'S OK!
autumn you're lucky, my parents aren't so supportive
You're crying so much because it feels so good to have your anxiety understood and even explained to you! At least that's why I want to cry
I hate it when the teacher says “Tell everyone two things about yourself”
Anneh Anneh “I’m a guy”
“I enjoy breathing” there, 2 things about myself lmao.
i remember at the beginning of my 9th grade year, my teacher called on me to introduce myself to the class and say 1 thing about myself, i started to talk but my voice cracked so badly due to stress i started crying a few seconds later
Then say: "Well, I have social anxiety, and I'm socially awkward."
“I have social anxiety and I don’t like any of you.”
Nightmare
I feel so alone with social anxiety
Lisssa Love Yes, it makes it so much worse being in school I think, all my support to you Xx
Lisssa Love aw thanks, means a lot, I'm here too xx
Don't we all... never not felt alone! But when I'm with others I'd like to be alone... strange..
ThatGuyNamedScott. C same😂
Velvetf4n your not the only one 😭
I have social anxiety and there was a time I broke down crying because I felt everyone judging me and it was hurting me so bad, emotionally.
Min young i know what it feels like.. let's cheer up :)
maybe that's because you are judging others, and your ego this thats what people are normlly doing
its like those bitches that start being anxcious that their boyfriends are cheating on them, just after bitches cheating, and vice versa
moral of the story, you are being perceved by the world, the way you perceve it,
that means it would be time to stop judging both others AND yourself
Bleilock1 I get your point but everybody has experienced specific situations that made them anxious. We all have different backgrounds so let's not put people in a box. And as you said, stop judging others and ourselves.
Lol, calling a fat person, fat isnt judging, and i am not putting anyone in the boxes over here
Okay i made two boxes
People who are aweare of that everything that happens to them, is their own doing
And the ones that are not awear of it...soooo yea, most of social anxiety comes from internal perception of the external world, and that has nothing to do with the real thing
So when speaking of backgrounds, i dont know them, but i can see that people dont do their homeworks to get themselves better...lazyness
Bleilock1 i didn't fully understand that comment but okay
I have social anxiety. I hate the way there is a barricade between the real me and the show socially awkward me.. I have never been able to break down this barrier. I am a dancer so this means I always have to be interacting with people. Even around people I have known for over a year a still can’t be myself and I never am comfortable. I know the me with anxiety and the real me are two completely different people. I hate how socially awkward I am around people and you feel like you have to always think about what you are going to say before you speak. I am also a very insecure person and this is no help In my social interactions. My parents don’t understand when I tell them I have social anxiety because I’m a completely different person around them to what I tell them I am like around others. I always feel like I am being judged for my appearance and my looks.
A girl that was in the same class as me in middle school, told me once through Messenger "At first I thought you were boring but then I meet you and you're funny". I always tell myself that I can be better than what I show myself to be in front of others but then I end up hiding.
You just said my whole feelings 😂😭 I have anxiety but at the same time I’m just tired of the annoying kids in my class I would talk to them if they talked to me but ion it just be like that sometimes and maybe they just wanna be nice to not hurt your feelings but they don’t really wanna be ya friend so life is just un grande OOF
Same exept im not a dancer
aww baby I feel you, the battle between the real self and the anxious self is a tough one. Just remember acceptance, unconditional love for self.
I feel you. Even with my friends i'm not that comfortable. That's why i don't feel genuinely happy because it's not myself.
This has ruined my life, hate going to parties, meeting new people, having conversations with strangers etc, i was born with No friends and probably die without any friends 😢😢😢😢
Word. All my friends turned into fucking snakes 🌡️😠🔥
I would be your friend
I feel you girl
I’m the same way, anything that involves people I get tense and i just cant do it then i eventually just break down and cry then sleep bc I wonder why i’m like this lmao.
😓
first rule about anxiety.. nobody talks about anxiety.. cause it causes anxiety.
Max Villa exactly the best cure for anxiety is to not think about it it will literally just go away instantly
I found that telling people about it made me feel a little more free... like, it gave me some more allowances within the situation which made me feel a little more comfortable with being perceived as a weirdo. That said, it’s weird to bang on about social anxiety with new people in the first place so my good friends are the only ones it really works with.
I was just gonna say that.
The irony
Exactly 😂
The easiest way to understant what happends when u feel danger :
FFF : FUCK FUCK FUCK
haha! yes, very good
haha! yes, very good
haha! yes, very good
haha! yes, very good
haha! yes, very good
I hate it when my eyes start to water when people look at me or when I'm in crowded places.
water eyes what does it mean??
I wish people understood social anxiety instead of thinking I'm just shy or I'm stuck up. I used to have a lot of friends when I was younger I was very talkative and the older I got I started losing all my friends because I didnt want to be around anyone. Now I dont have even one friend to talk to because I dont know how to have a damn conversation. Now I'm 22 and unfortunately my 20's are going to be wasted because I cant escape my own fears and this is probably how I will be for life.
Taylor yeah I reckon u would be seen as stuck up.
Text me bro 8643572277 I wanna talk to u
Taylor bro your each word relate to me. I want to talk to you bro
Omg exact same thing happened to me too, let’s go and have a chat, I’d love to hear your story
@@mionguyen5820 bro i am ready to talk to you. i want to hear your story & also tell my story to you
I know the solution to anexity but i just can't apply it on my life , and that's the hardest part.
Totally! I agree.. me too.
I would recommend you two read MIndset, by Carol Dweck. It's been helping me make much needed/desired changes to my psyche. One love!
Rohaila khire Even u try hard to apply on U're life u or your social environment won t respond to u right in the time... When i was 5-6 grade i could n t even talk properly with my classmates.Now i m go to highschool 2 and i m good now.. first year i was wonder about why i was quite diffrent from my classmates.After than somehow i try to make myself to believe there is no danger.. or "it should be okay"... about 7-8 grade i was change completely but my environment wasn t... and then i start to study at highschool 1... i m not much social than before but at least nobody bullies me, make fun of me -still.. but not as much as before- or think about me"She can t do it"
It's much more complicated than you think guys , it's something i can't control , i just feel like another person when i'm around people , but when i'm home with no people around i feel so good about my self but once i'm with people i just somehow feel that everybody is better than me and i get disapointed of the thought that i had about my self.
Rohaila khire me too so what's the solution
I think one of the causes of my social anxiety is I don't love myself enough and I feel that everyone judging me, even though sometimes they don't judge me at all. so I'm on the process of loving myself, physically and mentally
wdylktsr Same.
Same here... Just a question. When sombody rejects you to you ever feel like they hate you? I do, but I don't know if others do
Dipper Dib78 yes I do, and I will overthink it lol I need to stop overthink. But sometimes they don't openly reject me, like I feel they reject me
wdylktsr I basically had no problems with that anymore after I realized that I don't judge other people when they are doing things I was afraid to do because of judgment. And I am no different from others in that social aspect and so inst you. So you just have to imagine if you would be judging someone because of the thing you are afraid to do.
The reality is, everyone is so busy worrying about how THEY look, they don't even know we're there. I had a social anxiety episode at a public aquarium last week, and I can't describe a single person I saw there. I doubt any of them noticed I was crying for no goddamn reason at all.
Anyone else blush a lot?!?!
Demi Demi Demi DemiDemi me o//o
Yes I blush What that even mean
Yeah help me please
Yeah from odd things aswell wtf
I have to wear foundation every day trying to cover my red cheeks from anxiety 😫
Some people think that social anxiety is only in your head, but they have no idea what it's like to struggle with it day in and day out. It's a very real issue and the more we talk about it and get it out in the open, the better we'll all feel.
You put this really well. It's something that no one can understand unless you experience it. With a lot of things people say "I understand" or "I cam imagine" With Social Anxiety, you HAVE to have it to understand. The problem is most people would just think you are quiet or shy, or like to be in your own world, where it's not that we don't want to talk to people or be in social settings, it's that we (or me atleast) become awkward and nervous.
Yeah, be open about it. Some people will understand and accept. And some will react in a negative way. Be prepared for the latter to happen, and be prepared to be OK with it.
@@Willaron98 true
Whatever, I give up man. I'm 15, have no friends and never had a girlfriend/kissed a girl/even been friends with one for that matter. All I tell myself is "It's OK, you don't need them, you are going to join the Army in 3 years and will die honourably there."
EDIT #1 October-December 2016: things have changed quite a bit since I originally posted this comment, I have some friends now, idk if they are real friends or fake friends though... because I actually tried to hang out with some people one day.
EDIT #2 sept 15 2017: its been almost a year....I made the wrong friends and got involved with the bad crowd, occasional weed use turned into daily, as well as trying and using other drugs. My first girlfriend dumped me and betrayed me, breaking my heart, and then my drug use escalated into full blown addiction. Im over the girl now, and I switched schools to get a fresh start and make good quality friends, but it's not the same... I still have an issue with drug use now, and that depression that faded once I got friends... well after my relationship ended it came back REALLY hard and hasn't gone away.
Edit #3 March 3rd 2018: i found this video again so I thought I'd update. Im alone, I lie to my friends about using all drugs except weed and occasionally molly, i have no friends at my new school, and i havent had a girlfriend since may 2017 because i keep fucking up every chance i get because of my social anxiety. ive had so many girls like me and im so shit at having conversations with them because i get so anxious, and it turns them all off. i never asked to be born and i wish i never was, life is terrible. all I want is to have friends, someone who i can love, and to not be depressed and a drug addict. no matter what I do its as if I cant even improve on these things. i just want to be happy and enjoy my life again..
I hope by sharing part of my story, I can help at least one of you to not make the same mistakes I did
@Alien, I'm 15 too and I don't think you should measure your self worth just by how many girls you've been with or had a relationship with. And high school is such a small group of people who happen to live in the same area and same culture. There are so many other places in the world that will be more accepting and supportive of you as a person. When you graduate high school you should try to experience other cultures, open your mind to the earth and the earth will fill it with so many lovely things. Just because you feel like you're insignificant in your high school social class doesn't mean you have no significance somewhere else. I hope this helps, your comment stands out to me bc same age and I can relate in a way
And your comment stands out to me as a beautiful comment to someone in pain, coming from a mature perspective (you're 15, wow!). Couldn't agree more. Having lived in 4 different cultures (Netherlands, South Africa, Philippines, Thailand) and currently in a 5th, I can assure you that culture plays a big role in how you are being perceived. And, that high school is just a phase where people try to be "cool" much more than later on in life. Later on in life, trying to be cool isn't cool anymore. When you're in deep pain, read, learn, use the EFT tapping I share in other videos, get help when you need it. Thanks for your comment.
I do work out @12inweiner. I am pretty buff.
@Slap Happy I have wanted to join the Army since I was 12. I know the reality of the military, and don't think of it like a fuckboy: "I'm going to be a SEAL sniper and snipe the shit out of ISIS and win the medal of honour"
I am realistic about it and being in the Army is truly my dream job.
Man you are young, you havent figured some stuff out yet. I don't know exactly what you havent figured out cuz i dont know you, but i do know that 15 years, at most only 4 or 5 of them as a young adult, is not enough time to figure out every detail of what you need to know to do everything you want to do.
But if you go to the military that is going to do nothing to help with your social life, that is essentially giving up your social life for a few years. And theres no guarantee, actually its not even very likely that you will die, so you'll come out of the military even more clueless about the things you dont get right now.
The best advice actually wont seem helpful to you right now, but ill tell you anyway. Eventually you will come to see that the people you are having trouble fitting in with dont mean shit to you, it is likely you will see that they are inferior to you and not the other way around. The things they think(and also you think, right now) are important aren't actually very important, and because you havent been immersed in these things (popularity, sports, dating, what's fashionable or trendy at the time, to name a few common high-school obsessions) as they have, you will be ahead of the pack when you all figure out that all that shit is meaninless.
What is meaningful? Knowing yourself... I dont mean knowing your facebook self, the self you (and the rest of them) want others to think you are. I mean knowing your true self - who you are when you are completely free from outside influence. Theres a good chance that you know yourself more than other people your age because you are self conscious and you spend more time on your own. Well thats good, because when all of the shit you think matters right now no longer matters, thats all thats gonna be left. You. The guy you were trying to be in order to fit in, when all the other stuff was important, won't be of any use to you, because he wanted what they wanted, and they wanted what no longer matters.
When you know even more about yourself than you do now you will know what to do because you will know what you actually want, not just what "everyone else" is doing. Knowing what you want is the first step to getting it. Others will have to keel trying, but failing, to get what they want because they wont know whats important to them, so when theu get it they wont want it. They will get married, then divorced, they will change their major in college(if they go) over and over, trying to find out what they want to do. They will try to do what their fathers do, and either fail at it or end up trapped in a career that they hate.
I mean there are probably tons of books written about this, and im not trying to write one right now, so ill stop. But i used to want to die too. I did for most of my life. Now i know i have a heart condition and that ill die soon enough, and i just keep regretting that i spent my entire life wanting it to be over. And i realize that i had shit figured out long before all the other young people did, as i watched them all come to find out what i already knew, about how all that shit they cared about was superficial and meaningless. So i should have just realized that all along, and tried to find what would really make me happy. So just try not to waste your life being depressed and wanting to die, and especially not if the reason you are depressed is because you dont fit it. Fuck fitting in, i promise you it doesnt fucking matter. But there's something that will matter to you out there, so figured out what it is and get it.
Oh and sex is over-rated. Thats something even most adults dont know, but if you stop worrying about that shit its like dropping a bag of cinder blocks thats holding you back. Women will come and go but if sex isnt that important to you, they will have no power over you, and that will keep you from wasting your time doing more shit that doesn't make you happy.
Good luck, but really, dont join the military...
He makes it seem so easy lol
Ikr
He never said it was easy. What he said was simple. That is a difference. The solution is a simple solution, not a 20-step program. Much how like soccer is 'simply' kicking a ball or boxing is 'simply' hitting your opponent. That doesn't mean they are easy however.
sierraKENZIEstyle did you just assume his gender? I'm triggered.
Dankside and the award for the most unnecessary comment of the day goes to...
sierraKENZIEstyle ikr as if it's just something you can comtrol
I'm 21, and attractive in that I usually get a lot of people flirting with me (not trying to sound like a self-centred idiot, its just reality). Despite this I have never been in a relationship because of anxiety, worrying about wtf I do once I'm in the relationship, worrying about taking them to dinner, keeping them happy etc.
wAVYaf same, there’s a girl I really like in my grade in high school but the problem is, she’s in a whole different league than me, socializing isn’t a problem for her she’s in honors, I’m in regents, she plays sports, and plays an instrument. The only thing I do after school is work out hoping that I can boost my self esteem. And even if I did have the confidence to ask her out she would definitely say no because my whole school thinks I’m slow and nobody wants to be with some one one with that reputation. But even if she did say yes, I’d still be to scared to talk to her and we would just end up breaking up.
FeelsWavyMan Let her know you get anxiety ...Then if she truely loves you she''ll look for you and accept ur imperfections...I had/have the same problem...
FeelsWavyMan believe it or not it’s all part of growing up and different emotions your feeling... some dates will be great others will be flops
hey come to me i have no issue with folks are in this situation I'm worse then u i seems even scared talking to my family jesus i have it really bad tho I'm 22 know i had it when i was 21 witch is a year ago but before that hell i was very confidant i don't know what happened to me tbh?? but feel free to contact me we can leave with it together hahahahah
abood smith i need some feedback on this. Id appreciate talking.
I hate it when adults at my school ask me if I'm a shy kid. No, I actually have a diagnosed problem, but that problem is preventing me from having the courage to tell you that.
LPS Nightingale I used to be that too. Eventually I told my dad, who couldn’t understand OBVIOUSLY because society is ignorant. But after enough fucking around you can convince people it’s a problem (usually by noose or pills)
Yea I hate when teachers feel bad Bc they think your “shy” and all it’s the worst feeling when they feel pity for you
Anyone else become so anxious that you just never put yourself in social situations? (Unless required:in class and at work)
A common consequence of SAD is the avoidance of social situations, but ofcourse this behaviour in the long run only worsens the condition.
@@Contagious93812 I wish I could help but so far all I can say is that you're not alone.
@@simonram8505 an often used method is to (just) stop the avoidence and to force you into these kind of social interactions, by not thinking to long about what could go wrong. you really just have to go for it
I failed a lot in school because I refused lol 👍
I suffer from social anxiety, but not just by strangers, but by my family too. Has that ever happened to anyone or is it just me?
same here
It can happen with anyone you are afraid they could judge you (sorry if my english is bad)
Same with me
Yep, all the time!
Indigo Child I get social anxiety around my family too. Mostly my grandma or family I don't see often
Accepting the fact that you have social anxiety is also super hard since it gives you anxiety if that makes sense
actually for me it would help reduce it haha
i'm not like professionnaly diagnosed but i'm sure i have it. thinking that maybe i don't and i'm over reacting stresses the f out of me. I don't even feel able to talk about it to someone (even online) in fear of them thinking i'm over reacting. If i'm diagnosed with it, then i would be able to fully concentrate on recovering from it (and stop treating it like it's just an over reaction)
i don't know if that's clear... but i see in which ways it can give anxiety
Be glad if you don't have S.A.
It's like your brain is constantly trying to swordfight you when you try to enter a social situation. Hard to describe but 'It' automatically throws up negative thoughts and I have to mentally counter them. Seriously, it's like Luke duelling Darth Vader.
Thank you for this video, at least I know I'm not alone.
Nicholas McCloskey join social anxiety WhatsApp group where you can motivate yourself with strangers just ping me on WhatsApp write sad I'll add you there +918467809563
+karan saini ;really ?
This has to be one of the best social anxiety explanations on the internet
Yes indeed fuck the danger mindset and have that safe mindset be fearless face the bad beliefs system and take care✌
Just a pity he doesn't explain how to fix it.. just go to the link and buy his stuff...
+Aeonic He told us how we can fix that towards the end of the video..
look up talk therapy that may help you
I used to have social anxiety.but I discovered a technique which worked with me efficiently, which is, talking with my brain. I used to consider my brain as someone who lives inside me, so when I'm about to get into a social situation, my brain immediatly starts giving me thoughts like, "don't do it" " what if this happen.. and bla bla.. So I start talking with my brain saying things like " calm down mate" " it can't be that worse" " everything will be ok, we can do this". This is the technique I used to do and it worked with me everytime, until I became free from social anxiety. I know it seems abit weird but works very efficiently.
I've been using that method to help me. I always get things done somehow but I end up having a severe headache whenever I try.
thanks bro
Karim Akram i been trying this but doesn't work for me
Social anxiety is the main reason as to why I dread going into public settings alone or presenting anything in school in front my class. It feels like a million piercing eyes are looking and judging everything about you. When I’m around people I’m comfortable with I relax a little but the anxiety is still there and there’s nothing i can do about it.
I get pissed when every girl at school says their anxious because they don't actually know how it feels. Just say you're stressed. It makes it seem a lot less of an issue if everyone says they have it.
Draconic Arachnid that’s true
How on earth do you know whether they know how it feels or not? Pretty much everyone will experience anxiety at some point in their life, it's not a badge of honour, nor does it make you unique.
Aardvarked if I hang myself does it make me unique? 😂😂😂😂
This is like saying, "All you have to do to cure your poverty is get some money".
When you finally tell someone that you might actually have social anxiety they just tell you to change and think positively. How do I do that then? No one understands
Chloe Curreen I understand!!! It's annoying! When they say think positive I try too all the time!
yeah its not that easy, no one understands!
YES Chaloe u r right 100%. and 2nd think if you tell to someone that u have SAD they got another point to put u down. the fear inside heart is not control able.
glad others can relate, as a young person its also hard because you cant just go see someone without telling an adult!
millzz05 You can't just think positively. I recommend writing concrete things down. Only then can you reinforce it. And it wont't change overnight. You've probably had a negative thought proces for a long time; you can't break a habit just like that.
I am so sick of thinking about what other people think of me in public
SAME😭
I have had social anxiety since I was 15, I am now 23 and still have it, I get so nervous going out to places, it is the worst, I still do go in places sometimes. What helped me was to force myself to go out into these public places, It has helped a little bit, and now I have a part time job.
Congratilations, you may still have it, but you are not letting it stop you from living your life.
For me, having social anxiety makes my heart race fast, and then I realize that I breathe faster. But the worst part about it is the fact that I constantly think all eyes are on me. I'm always worrying about the way that I appear towards people, which is one of the reasons why I wear shit loads of makeup. I just hate the feeling that people are staring at me all the damn time...
Hey cutiepie
that's so me... ):
VeinsX3 Go talk to people more, you gonna be uncomfortable at first, but if you do it for awhile, then take a short break, and do it again, you will notice the anxiety slowly vanishing.
maybe that's why they're staring... coz you wear shitload of makeup
marius mario Lol yeah ur probably right 😂
Why does social anxiety even exist in this world?!! I'm so broke right now.
Lovelyz Lover you're cute too
Certified Multi-fandom are u more confident now?
Why is it that it looks like nobody else in my school has social anxiety? I feel so alone
I know right! It’s terrible.
Yea I feel the exact same way too
Well, if you can't spot them, maybe not so many have noticed that you have the problem.
I can bet you that at least one person in every one of your classes deals with some sort of social anxiety. 1. They might not know they have social anxiety. 2. They dont go around saying they have social anxiety.
Otaku Tsumiki Stalker look for someone that looks and seems shy I guarantee u they have social anxiety
Especially when you have to partner with someone and you can’t because your anxiety makes you act up and you start over thinking
ikr put it this way i went through the worst of it where i screwd up in-front of large group of folks and guess what they were all paying attention to me directly in to ma face jesus and I'm in ma peak ma face turned to all colors .......then that was the last time a teamed up with them ffs hahahahah
So why do I sweat if my body perceives danger. Like what kind of defense is that
THIS
are you that stupid?
私はお尻が好き Am I going to fling my sweat at a wild animal as a defense mechanism
***** Well thank you for the reasonable answer my good sir! I guess it does make sense. I just find it funny in a way.
your funny lel
sometimes I don't know whether I have social anxiety or I'm just shy and I'm just that fucking awkward
difference of being shy and having social anxiety (i've had social anxiety diagnosed but i got better) is that social anxiety feels painful and might prevent you from doing things that you like, or things you have to do. like i couldn't talk to people on the phone because it made me anxious. but being shy is for example when you meet a new person and don't know how to act and are not being your usual personality like you are around friends
Miranda Cavada
I painfully feel you
lmao im with ya . im just akward as fuckk , eh fuck it oh well
Miranda Cavada the story of my life
I think I am all of the above
society: “Why don’t you ever talk?”
me: you wouldn't get it.
My best friend calls me Hellophobic because I am unable to say hello to other human beings.
It's a matter of training your confidence. Seems silly, but train in the mirror several times a day. And try to expose yourself in a way that you don't lose your cool (like controled exposure). I believe you can do it mate!
Sam Kleist lol
Maxwell *when a normie gives advice*
Go outside more
@@thinkingofaname6233 When a computer-addicted kid talks shit
so you basically tell people with social anxiety to stop being anxious
hey, just wanted to clarify that I think the purpose of this video was to say that faking it can work for a while, but ultimately your brain is running a certain pattern of thought that is coming from its most basic survival instinct- flight fight or freeze. That was the metaphor of the boat- that you need to fix the core issue or trauma that is leading you to believe that social situations are unsafe. The technique the creator of this video uses is called EFT (emotional freedom technique) which is worth checking out. I and many others have had huge successes with using this technique . It is based on stimulating certain acupressure points on the body these calm the amygdala and rewire the neural pathways, interrupting the fight or flight response and restoring the body/mind to calm. It works for me, definitely check it out!
s.e. ok that sounds reasonable. It just seemed a little weird to me to tell socially anxious people to just be social lol.
yeah i definitely hear that :) the uploader actually has a bunch of other videos on his channel where he shows exactly how to use the EFT technique (I like it because it can be done on my own). good luck!
Focused breathing helps, but it obviously complicates being involved in a a conversation in any real capacity. Forcing myself to hold an open, relaxed stance/position helps as well. General well-being (a regular sleep cycle, good nutrition, working out, grooming, mindfulness) all put me on a much more confidence, relaxed, focused, "warm" demeanor. Nothing you or anything else hasn't already heard really. It really does take serious effort to retrain the brain, but it is possible
I'm 41 . I was a fine, confident normal kid until the 6th grade. I believe this event , changed my life forever. I was in class and someone made a joke, and that's when a known bully kid 8th grader was walking by and yelled " dam close your mouth, your gums are bigger than your teeth" .. From that moment on I felt self-conscious and still cover my mouth in social settings that I rarely attend. I don't feel comfortable around a lot of people, even family bbqs, parties or anything. I've tried to overcome it, but I can't. I've missed a lot of family events, and have made a lot of excuses. I just missed my 10 month old nephew's baptism, I told them I would go, I got to the church , stayed in the parking lot for like 45 mins, watching the parking lot get full, and then I texted them I had to go due to a fake reason I made up. This also brings on depression, because i hated missing this events. This is the only forum I've expressed myself, and ask people to pray for me. 😔☹
Casual Dreamer please stay strong, and please just be yourself fuck what people think. I'm 18 and I know how you feel, and reading it broke my heart, you deserve to live a happy and beautiful life it's never to late, I believe in you, you got this, no one is perfect.
You’re not alone in this. And how once somebody said, you’re not your thoughts. It helps to keep this in mind when a crisis happens. That just means that whatever bad things you’re thinking about yourself, they’re due to the disorder, and they are not real. Be at peace, God bless you.
How are u doing now? Anyway I don't think u should be ashamed about ur "gum smile" its a blessing, its unique to u, don't hide it. I hope ur doing waaayyy better now❤
Same, I was very confident, get a long with anyone type of kid until middle school where I got bullied for my weight and from then I started to close myself off and my social circles became smaller and smaller. I'm trying to work on it now, stay strong brother.
Man, isn't it stupid how the human brain makes a big deal out of minor things? Whenever someone seems mildly annoyed to me I flash back to every minor mistake I can remember off-hand
If you have social anxiety... I just want to say it's okay...i know how you feel..
I have gone through it myself...just keep on moving through it...be proud and act like no one is watching...
3:45
But how can you simply just "change" the way you feel about yourself, when you HONESTLY don't believe you're more than good enough, don't believe that people like you, and DON'T accept yourself? Not bashing the video, just voicing my frustrations at the fact that this is exactly what ALL these types of videos tell the listener to do. The thing is, it's incredibly hard to convince yourself because you don't actually believe any of that is true. This is the very PROBLEM. How does one simply change their mindset to believe what they perceive as a lie?
Allison Neely my best friend once told me like bro why do you care about what people think of you honestly at the end of the day no one really cares about what you do or what you look like
Well you found your problem right ? Which could POSSIBLY be low self esteem, low self confidence or both ? *Syptoms of Social Anxiety* Which could be why you dont believe in the positive or best in yourself? *It is there but only you can find it* Nxt thing you can do is find a solution. Right! *It's way better to focus on what you can do instead of dwelling on what you cant* P.s Hope you find your way out of SA. It IS possible! I've been there & im still workin on it. I suggest The Schaeffer Method. You can Google for more info. It put me on the right track & could help you aswell.
Hope this helped in someway 👍
Thank you!
Everything in life is a matter of skills, forget this belief thing, life is the jungle not a church. SOCIAL SKILLS.
You will be anxious of driving only you you have bad driving skills to deal with the roads and obstacles. Talking, sense of humour, courtesy are actual skills.
You could try hypnosis or focus on making other people feel positive. Maybe volunteer visiting people in old folks homes or special needs kids, where you can see your contribution helping others. Phone/email citizens advice etc and brainstorm with them. Good luck, charisma matrix and charisma on command have good vids too.
I've struggled with my social anxiety since I've been bullied in school.
Did it start after you have been bullied ?
ellielovesbands you are worth it. Nothing that you do or say is worth being bullied for. It's not your fault. Don't be afraid to stand up for yourself.
Same. It got better though I learned to stand up for myself and not to be so afraid of the morons that bullied me. It's tough but it's worth sticking it out.
I'm 21 and I'm still struggling with social anxiety from the bullying in high school and I'm learning to stand up for my self, trust me it's so tough but if you put your mind to it, it will happen.
Morindou Same although I'm almost 23 but it still affects me just not as much anymore. It takes time but it's so worth it!
I have very bad social anxiety, its even worse because people assume i'm confident because I am considered attractive (not blowing my own trumpet). My face twitches when i'm mid convo with others my heart starts pumping and my neck tightens up. I think my pet peeve is ice breakers where I have to introduce myself my voice starts shaking. Sometimes I try not to swallow because I swallow very hard and I look nervous but then if I don't I choke when speaking. I only feel chilled when I have a drink because my nerves are in calm mode. It really gets me down because i'm such a funny bubbly person when i'm around my friends but around strangers I literally wanna crawl into a hole :(.
it's a double edge sword! having no friends makes you thing everyone hates you, and being popular draws everyone toward you
Maddy Itebu same bruh :(
:(((( same
+Maddy Itebu exactly the same
Maddy Itebu I thought I was the only one😥😥 this is exactly what happens to me... My fear starts because I'm on the fatter side and have chubby cheeks ... I'm 20 and I feel I'm not normal and that everyone will judge me for my looks.. that's my only fear hope I overcome it oneday
Whenever I was at work my brain will tell me I'm not as good as the other or "look at them your nothing like them" the funny thing was I wasn't. But I want to fit in. I breathe and talk. But funny thing is I talk to people and they pay attention but they don't really care. Then another person comes and they have the best conversations, small talk, the works. That comes into my mind and lowers my confidence. Then while I'm working i feel as if everybody is looking at me and judging me on what I do. Then when I speak words can't come out because my brains telling me they don't care what you say or they'll get mad if you say it like that. I don't get notice as much as others do, I can't really small talk like others and everybody around me just eases into conversation and laugh. I feel like I'm left out. Always. I know who I am. I can be confident one minute and then later I'm scared. I'm nice, funny, can be loud and crazy and stupid. I can have all the things I want in life. I feel there's two parts to my consciousness. One that says you can be yourself and have all the good stuff and even talk to people confidently. But my other part of my mind is way stronger to the point were I'm scared to talk sometimes. I made a mistake at work today and my colleague said "Mate I'm not having a go at you but I just told you what to do, why didn't you do it like that?" Tbh it's cause my mind is on social anxiety mode that I don't even have time to think. I am who I am and you are to the world and the world will live that. Friends, family and your girlfriend or boyfriend. But with social anxiety simple things in life are made so damn hard. It's not fair there's a disorder like this around. I want it gone you want it gone. We're so strong for battling this is our minds. Awesome even, nobody will ever, ever, ever know the struggle a person with social anxiety has each day. Unless you have it.
MrRooney georgee this is beautifully said. Worst part about it is that I used to be the popular confident guy. And then one day an anxiety attack happened. And I’ve lived with the conscious in my head ever since.
MrRooney georgee i know exactly how You feel but I’m a freshmen in high school, I go through similar things
So relatable.
How do you know that they do not care? Did they tell you, or are you just assuming that?
Your opinions matter,
You matter. 💪🏻
Don't let anyone tell you otherwise
so true
My entire time in a conversation is thinking about what could go wrong or not having anything to say next or how the heck I'm supposed to leave this conversation
Haha, been there. Isn't it funny? In a way? That not succeeding is purely due to the thinking about not succeeding. I think we need to start by being ok with not being perfect. The more relaxed we can be about making mistakes, the less mishaps we will soon start experiencing.
I used to have social anxiety in my early years of high school. Now a days I don't really care what people think. For people who struggle with this currently I suggest trying to face your fears (don't be afraid to use a friend) and go out and actually socialize more. The more you do the more you'll train your brain to get into a habit of knowing it's not dangerous
MSN740 friend?
once i actually ran away when a guy from my school tried to flirt with me ... lmao
poor guy lol
Random story: A couple of weeks ago this guy I never knew but i've seen around my school, randomly went like "(My name) MY GUURRRL!!" in front of the whole class everytime he saw me in class or the teacher called out my name for attendance and everyone would laugh>.
Oml I did the same
Bucky Barnes same 😂😂😂😂😂
IM26C4U same now he thinks im a jerk
People always says practicing on mirror first, but when the anxiety hits again, even talking to myself is painful
Because of my anxiety disorder, I went to the doctor for treatment, he recommended me two medicines but none of them works. Feel lonely
I am having a hard time getting over social anxiety and it's annoying to me but I do it to myself. In a social environment I don't feel safe. I'm always scared that I am going to embarrass myself or I'm not good enough.
I wouldn't wish this illness on my worst enemy. Hell on earth.
Hi
Just like the video suggests, I find that once you stop giving fucks, or, at least, tricking your mind into thinking that you give zero fucks about what people think of you, your level of social anxiety lowers. Acting (not necessarily being) confident is really useful: I don't mean faking your personality, but just convincing yourself and others that the confident version is your true self! I may be expressing the concept wrong but English is not my mother tongue, I'm sorry if anything I've written here it's ambiguous, it wasn't purposeful!
I try to pretend all the time that I don't care and all of my friends have this impression that I'm this fearless person who doesn't give a crap about anything, but it's all just a lie. It feels so fake and even if I try to pretend, it doesn't stop me from thinking that I'm worthless or that people don't like me or that I'm just going to screw everything up. It's just really difficult to escape those thoughts when I'm so used to believing that they're true.
PersonPerson The next step is raising your confidence. Once you are there you won't have to pretend, because you actually won't give a damn. And I know you'll get there, everyone is good at something worth being proud and confident about, believe me :)
Maria Puddu very true. i had social anxiety but im getting way better on it through public speaking, going outside, and mostly being more confident
+PersonPerson hey, just wanted to clarify that I think the purpose of this video was to say that faking it can work for a while, but ultimately your brain is running a certain pattern of thought that is coming from its most basic survival instinct- flight fight or freeze. That was the metaphor of the boat- that you need to fix the core issue or trauma that is leading you to believe that social situations are unsafe. The technique the creator of this video uses is called EFT (emotional freedom technique) which is worth checking out. I and many others have had huge successes with using this technique . It is based on stimulating certain acupressure points on the body- these calm the amygdala and rewire the neural pathways, interrupting the fight or flight response and restoring the body/mind to calm. It works for me, definitely check it out!
s.e. That seems like it may help. Thanks
Trying not to care about ppl is also caring..
When I'm at the class and all the ppl around me talking and laughing, and I look at my self "APATHETIC" it hits hard imagine me guys.
I don't have a self confidence + social anxiety + depression + over thinking + my awkward reactions + being always misunderstanding at home + ppls bully me.
Hi guys, I guess we're on the same league. Keep moving forward and never give up.
Yes, yes. This is the spirit. It's a matter of being patience and train for example in front of the mirror (may seem a bit silly but works). The most important thing is to like remain cool and expose yourself in controlled environments. Running away from it doesn't solve the problem. You have to face it, it's just a matter of how you will do it. But with baby steps and some research and confidence on yourself and with the support of some people that you love you can do it.
I'm 29 now and my progressed was slow since I childhood because of social anxiety.
My social anxiety started when my face got full of eczema. I feared what people would think if it, and I still do.. We just have to realize that no matter what people say, we CAN'T control it.
"calculator" here is what i was called,and in elementary school i stopped couting them,but that's not the words that hurt the most,it's his belt on my skin.
suppeboy saaid M M I feel you bro, but I've learned that it's all in your mind.. your perception and thought patterns about situations.. if you believe you have OCD and "social anxiety" then you will. Reality will manifest itself to you according to your beliefs and perspectives. Realize that 5 - 15 years from now you're going to be looking back regretting that you never went outside your comfort zone and instead lived as a miserable being if you don't LIVE and stop being afraid of how people perceive you or how you said something 'awkward or cringy' .. if you did just forget about it and keep on moving forward.. don't overthink it. We are human and make mistakes and it's okay. YOU CONTROL YOUR MIND
suppeboy saaid ask Jesus Christ for help.
suppeboy saaid that’s normal, not clinical social anxiety.
Carlos S if what you said was true, if everyone was able to completely remove anxiety by changing their thoughts or whatever, cognitive behavioral therapy would do wonders and cure everyone of their social anxiety, but it doesn't. So that logic clearly doesn't work.
I actually started crying while watching this. So relatable. It's currently summer break and I am literally afraid to leave the house. I am so sorry for everyone feeling anything like this in social situations and hope they would be able to tackle their issues. Got your back everyone, fighting! 💕
For me, it's my biggest struggle. It took some time for me to realise that I stress more than most people and I'm more quiet and self-conscious. And even after that, no matter how many efforts I make, I still can't seem to get over it. I spend more time researching stuff like conversation starters than studying, and I avoid so many things I could just enjoy, or even if I do, for example, attend a social event, I can't enjoy it because my mind is racing and my heart is thumping so loud I get scared that if someone came and talked to me, I wouldn't hear them, and that only makes the symptoms worse.
Ok I understand why it happens but HOW do you change your subconscious?
Hi Daniel, this video was mostly to explain generally what anxiety is, and an overview of what it takes to become anxiety-free. There are a variety of ways to change the beliefs held in the subconscious, some more effective than others. The most effective I've found is using EFT (and using it in the right way). I share how to use EFT to overcome social anxiety in a "social confidence starter kit" that I've created. It consists of an Ebook and free video series, which you can get here: www.social-anxiety-solutions.com/social-anxiety-starter-kit/
Martial Arts bro. BJJ exactly.
Lifting weights has helped with my anxiety greatly. I still have social anxiety but its much more tolerable than it used to be. I had to be forced to speak in many social settings over the years due to working and life experiences in general. It was very rocky at first bit over time you will grow and become better at it. Once you can speak to people better you start to realizee things. I used to think I was "stupid" "uninteresting" "unfunny" etc. But once you feel comfortable and realize you can be witty, funny, and interesting your subconscious will change. You have to build your confidence basically practiced makes perfect. Don't be a hermit and just avoid people you will have to speak to people your whole life there's nothing you can do to Change it. Also don't use alcohol as a crutch. I did this and developed a huge problem because it "cured" my SA as in I could talk to anyone pick up girls etc.
As someone who has social anxiety I have found the best way is to put ur anxiety aside, take a deep breathe, and then talk to someone/engage in social situations. Because of this I was easily able to fake being outgoing until it became somewhat real. I still have some lingerings of it but my
anxiety is so much better.
Daniel Smith Take nicotinamide its another form of niacin or vitamin b3 it made me go from sweating like a dog my face being red and unable to speak up because my throat would be tight all the time to an overly confident person I never cared what people thought of me and was always smiling. It's completely natural take 2×500 mg tabs every day and you should notice difference soon also do some research on "nofap and social anxiety"
im so fucked lmao
hahahah
same
relatable lol
ROFL same LMAO
*internally dies*
It's not even that for me, it's just I don't have interest sometimes. I think about things deeply while everyone around me is talking about pointless things. It's trippy
nice avatar
Yesss!
Ugh....
Don’t be that guy. No one is special and no one matters more than anyone else. We’re all just fleshy bodies.
People don't understand. They'd always say that im a wuss or I'm stupid or scared or shy, but in reality I can't handle talking to people who I don't know like strangers or meeting new people. My hands get sweaty, my face turns red, my heart is racing. It's horrible. In school whenever my face turned red people (even my friends) would laugh at me and call me tomato face or say I looked like a riped tomato. Some people might find it funny, but it really hurt me inside but I didn't want to show it because I was afraid people were gonna laugh at that too. I laughed it off, but I was really hurt and I'd go home and cry and I was just ultimately crushed inside. My parents would always say "Its really easy to talk to people what are you so afraid of?" or "Whats wrong with you?" I couldn't handle all that. I felt horrible. Now I can handle it a little bit, but it's not completely okay. I wish people could understand that it affects the brain and how people with Social Anxiety Disorder feel about things that are normal like having a formal conversation with a co worker or something you're trying to get to know better. Or going to the post office and collecting and sending mail. Once as a kid the guy at the post office asked me for money because my mom wanted me to buy stamps and I literally froze up. I got scared and ran out. Even if I'm with people I just feel alone and I'm always anxious. Just makes me sad that I'm embarrassed about something that I should tell people who don't know such as my friends and other family members like aunts and uncles and cousins. I just can't though.
Sta tic join social anxiety WhatsApp group where you can motivate yourself with strangers just ping me on WhatsApp write sad I'll add you there +918467809563
Feel pi
Haha I wish it was that simple, been there and done that. Even with years of therapy and Lexapro, I still experience anxiety symptoms. Of course I haven't given up on fighting it, but "positive thinking" does not help, because your rational thoughts are separate from emotional ones. Your body tells you one thing, and your mind says another.
Shakespeare Olive i agree that it's not nearly that simple......quite honestly I doubt this guy has ever experienced any sort of social anxiety........it's kind of sad that it's not really that simple......wouldn't it be nice if we could just think our way out of social anxiety.....
Marwan Conrad Can you explain the self inquiry to me, the way you use it. Im curious because SA is something I struggle with too.
what, you mean your rational thoughts tell you everything will be alright? I feel terrible and even looking at things logically I see nothing but more than the same. I've always known I'm pessimistic and awkward, and I'm sad... like a lot, but I'm starting to think I might have depression.... I don't know though. like, I feel like I should be complaining about my minor issues and labelling my whining as depression, and I don't want to jump the gun and say "yes I have depression... but the last month I have been looking at it I apparently display nearly all the symptoms of it and I consistently score "severe depression, seek treatment" on quizzes, but I really don't want to medicate, and I'm terrified of what comes after death so I won't be offing myself anytime soon, even if I think about death a lot. haven't caught myself planning a suicide or anything like that though yet... I don't know... I think I may just be going through some crummy stuff in my life and I'm just bad at fooling myself into being happy. Really I only feel happy a couple times a week for a few hours each when I'm at my club, or when I'm really invested in a story and things have improved for the protagonist... though sometimes, especially recently, even those things don't necessarily cheer me up and sometimes going to my club almost feels like work... idk, those are exactly the signs people talk about but ARGH! idk, maybe I do have depression, I just don't know. It isn't worth thinking about. I'm going to push through the next class I guess.
He never said it was simple.
He says what you said exactly himself in his videos
my situation ia so bad , if im in a crowd or somewhere with to many people i cant breathe in any way , i stop hearing , its like that zzzzz of a michrophone and i start seing everyhthing blank , cant see anything , and i pass out if i dont get out of there , and after i get out of there , i start seeing , listeting and breathing again
These exact things happen to me too, it makes it so hard to go shopping in big cities because I throw up occasionally & I can't walk because everything is going so dizzy and black. It honestly reminds me of a war cut scene in a game- I don't know. I'm glad someone else relates I was really scared that anxiety wasn't the cause of it and that it was something worse perhaps.
Sounds a little like Panic Disorder. I had it really bad.
Damn, I just get super self conscious. Fix my hair and stuff like that.
i cant go to the supermarket alone , me being 6'5 tall ( 196cm) i get alot of atention which i hate , if anyone looks at me , i think its because im ugly and weird , wwhen i go on the street alone i look mainly to the floor to avoid looking at people , i hate when people lok at me , if i listen someone laughing , even if its very far away , i think they laughing about me instantly
Tall people are interesting that is all :):) have you been to therapy?
I have a problem with my mind going blank and then i can't say a goddamn word even with my family,it's really painfull guys,does anyone else have this problem!!
dude, ALWAYS.
Same problems
Same I don't even know what i'll say next to keep the conversation going so I'll just end up with awkward silence
Is there any tips to overcome this? I really need one
SAME😭
I had had this disorder for 7 years in the past. Now that it has almost gone. When I once gave up fighting against it myself, it suddenly started to relieve. And then even if I felt uncomfortable in social situations (such as when I walk, speak or being stared), I never thought anything about it at all, and my mind was being empty against any sympton. Somehow this response of mine to the symptoms made the anxiety in the situations softend. And now I realize what made my anxiety stronger was my attitude to anxiety. Anxiety is natural response of our body. You don't have to try to relieve anxiety, just accept and get along with it. Then your brain and body can get used to anxiety.
I wish you a recovery from Japan.
I start shaking my hands and when people see my shaking hands it gets worse. I hate it so much!
dance. no, seriously. just dance and pretend the hand shaking is part of the dance routine lol
Don't fight it, you need to expose yourself to that anxiety with the intent of having your hands shake. I'm serious.
Natalie May This happens to me all the time when it's time to play in front of the class in my guitar class. It sucks like a bitch, and it ends up making my performance bad, even though I do gud when I'm playing by myself.
Too bad some of us are too broke to ever get help
Like he explained, it's possible to fight this by challenging your thoughts. That is a part of what a psychiatrist will do; encourage you to challenge the thoughts when they appear. But take baby steps; start by challenging thought in a safe space, like at home or with close friends/family. Then little by little challenge the thoughts at the grocery store, in class/at work, when asking someone out, doing public speeches and at parties where you don't know anyone. Sounds hard (and it is), but it is doable with BABY STEPS. I cannot stress how important baby steps are! If you jump into a situation that you're nowhere near ready to, the FFF response will come too fast and challenging the thoughts will be too hard.
I believe you can overcome your social anxiety. I know it's possible because I overcame mine; just believe in yourself.
Aethryx lmao same
I am afraid to make a god damn cup of tea in front of people even my closed friends.
My social Anexity is control of me...as a 14 yr old i have no choice but to go to school and communicate.....i can never stare into someone's eyes especially teachers....i wish i could just be another person
Makayla Dorsey I feel you, when a teacher makes eye contact with me, I feel so awkward and tend to look somewhere else it sucks
I thought I was the only one in the world who had social anxiety issues.
ME TOO! It first hit me about 20 years ago, and I didn't hear the words 'social anxiety' until about 10 years ago, so I had NO idea what was wrong. Just thought I was losing my mind.
You can try the app called talklife
I did too!! I thought there was just something wrong with me, I didn’t know social anxiety disorder was actually a thing. It seems like everyone always enjoys meeting new people and it’s easy for them to make friends but I can’t even say hi without getting nervous. I’d give anything if I wasn’t that way..
I remember being 11 ( im 13 ) and everytime a teacher gave me keys to open the classroom and I would do anything to give someone else the keys so that I dont do sthg wrong when I try to open the door and then humiliate myself.
Ariadni Manti I have the exact same problem. When I was in 3rd grade I didn't want to use a sharpener or a stapler in school because I was afraid I would do it wrong.
Palpitations constant hand tremors, eye twitching... another thing is it just me or does anyone else find it extremely difficult to make eye contact when anxious ??????
ooohhh yes i can relate .... tremor in my neck / head and i can't look anyone in the eyes
raymond carter always hard.
raymond carter the hand tremors I can relate to, idk about eye twitching but I tend to blink like crazy in public. And making eye contact is also a problem for me
Very difficult. Can't stop glancing around. Then I believe other people think I'm on drugs when I notice myself doing it. I've gotten to the point where I don't give eye contact to my friends when I talk to them. If I do, sometimes I'll lose track of the conversation and just gotta go.. "yeah."
World of No Borders I do the same thing lol
Yesterday I saw a close friend at the store and yet I still couldn’t even talk to her I hide at the store. I’m honestly so embarrassed.
Anna Marie: "I saw a close friend"
Me: A what?
@@enyazogd5325 so funny. It made me laugh and then at the same time I started crying. 😪🤣
Who else hates when this happens?
Teacher: somebody tell me the answer to this problem.
Students: The quiet girl should do it
I went to a doctor because of my anxiety disorder. He recommended me two medicines none of them works. Feel lonely my dear friend we both experience the same
I even struggle in reading, in front of the class
The worst thing is being called on by the teacher to answer a question, feels awful
Amy lover Oh god I would hate that, I understand how you feel
snux my voice literally cracks and sounds like I am ready to burst into tears (which in not a lie)... I always embarass myself, and I can feel everyone making fun of it.
AlternativeGamer99 Or even worse,when he tells you to get up in front of the entire class, and present your project or something,when you clearly,would do anything at this certain time,to not to.
snux I refuse to read In front class
Who feels exactly the same after watching this? Yeah, me too.
"THIS IS MY HEAD AND I AM THE ONLY ONE WHO DECIDES WHAT IS IN HERE. GTFO WITH THIS FEELING RIGHT NOW " I'M THE BOSS HERE" this works like a charm .