ON THE VERGE OF A SERIOUS RELAPSE | VLOG [tw: ed]
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- čas přidán 25. 04. 2023
- My name is Tammy. I struggle with too many mental issues, lol, but don't we all? On this channel I document most of my struggles. CZcams helps me to be able to vent and talk about what's going on and how I feel. I consider my channel to be a mental health recovery channel. I'm also trying to lose weight in the process. Come along and let's strive to be the best versions of ourselves!
I'm not promoting any kind of (eating) disorder, I'm just documenting my life and my struggles.
I'm very hapy to have you Little Lemons accompany me. Thank you SO much for watching my video!
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PO BOX ADDRESS
Tammy Lemon
Postbus 340
3360 AH SLIEDRECHT
THE NETHERLANDS
AMAZON WISHLIST
www.amazon.nl/hz/wishlist/ls/...
PO BOX INSTRUCTIONS
- Please don't send me food or snacks. I will not open/show them on video. If there's an item you would like to see me try, message me on Instagram so I can review the item and decide about wheter I want to add it to my amazon wishlist (some food or snack items can trigger me into having a binge).
- When you send me something from amazon.nl or amazon.de (the Dutch or German amazon website), you don't have to pay for expensive shipping and/or import costs since I live in the Netherlands.
Thank you so much for considering to send me something ♥
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Intro and outro music
Leonell Cassio - Night Sky (Lyrics) ft. Julia Mihevc
• Leonell Cassio - Night...
Mid-section music
Moments by Sarah Jansen - / sarahjansenmusic
Licenced under: CC-BY 3.0 Unported
bit.ly/2Htah7g
Download: bit.ly/2Ivn5KN
Retro by Wayne jones
Music provided by chillpeach
Sophie's Etsy store:
www.etsy.com/nl/listing/13564...
![TALKING ABOUT MY ROUTINE & LOSING WEIGHT | VLOG [tw: ed]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/GOXqFdGHZuU/mqdefault.jpg)
![DESTROYING MY EYEBROWS | VLOG [tw: ed]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/RasONw7UYq8/mqdefault.jpg)
![I'M SEETHING! ON THE VERGE OF A BREAKDOWN | VLOG [tw: emotional]](/img/n.gif)
I really think you just cannot have Ben & Jerry in the house and you should delete the food delivery apps from your phone for good. It's one of your common trigger foods
Obviously…
@@Sara-gv6up obvious, except for the fact she hasn't done it yet right? And good on you for contributing nothing to the conversation 😂
A replacement would be good. Maybe a lower calorie sorbet or frozen yogurt?
I went cold turkey like you are suggesting, but I still wanted to have something like it. So when I quit added sugar and initially had chocolate and ice cream cravings, I took a glass and combined…
whole milk + plain cocoa + ice cubes
The ice took care of the coldness, and whole milk is already sweet and a little thick like melted ice cream. So it made me happy
And now it’s weird, but I don’t even think about chocolate anymore (just around special occasions). I think it’s because I am mindful about eating greens for iron (that is in chocolate) and berries (for antioxidants) and dairy (for calcium).
Just guessing, but maybe that’s what my cravings partly were… my body asking for things it needed in the form of a big treat, when really it wanted better things the rest of the week?
So I think having SOMETHING nice and fun to fall back on, like, ordering better food or a frozen yogurt or whatever is good way to make adjustments and evolve eating habits out of a restrict-binge-restrict cycle. I think both the mind and body need time to heal & change. And just flat-out quitting something can be scary and maybe TOO restrictive. We got to find different ways to feed the bod and the soul 💛
Yes!!!!!! I felt so much better when I finally deleted Uber eats from my phone
I agree. That's why I don't keep junk food in my house and I don't use food delivery apps.
The 'binge notes' are so heartbreaking. Please don't feel disapointed in yourself for this difficult month that made you give up many times. Feel proud because you didn't give up for good, and you still have inside the desire to 'push through' as you said. Not because you have to, but because deep down your true self wants to fight. Remember progress is not linear and a crisis is always temporary. You are seen and a lot of people care about you, and understand you.
When you were opening up to us, I couldn't get over Makker sticking so close to you! You're so very loved by all your furry babies 💞
The fact that you kept on walking every day: this is huge! Consistency = KEY! You've lost weight before, you know how to do it, focus on that
From a ex obese here. If your goal is to lose weight, I garantee you, that you will, it's a process, and not a easy one. Just wanted to say that your feelings are super valid and normal! It's part of the process, it's a bumpy road, but if you want to, keep going, you're doing great, and remember to not be so harsh on yourself! ❤
I love how you looked for things you did that were *positive*
It’s so easy to fall into the trap of constant self doubt, criticism and negativity.
Why did u quit therapy
LOL OMGOSH Tammy. When I saw you place those pots on the windowsill and I just knew the cats would not appreciate it and boy did they show you. Your patience is awesome!! Truly amazing. I would've been yelling to the top of my lungs lol as if that ever helps.
Yay I’m so pleased you got the letter! I was worried I posted it wrong so I’m so relieved it came 😅💗
Love the cat clip ! Cute !
Such a pretty print! 🧡
What is the name of your shop on Etsy, Sophie? 🎨
Sending you a virtual hug, Tammy. I'm sorry this month has been so hard for you. I'm sure you probably aren't feeling the best about yourself rn but just remember all the joy and hope you bring to others every time you post. You are worth the fight!
Ugh I binged this morning too I'm so disappointed in myself, going away for my bday next weekend and wanted to feel more confident 😢😢 thank you for being honest about this stuff and making me feel less alone 🙏❤❤
Awesome art, Marco!! I love the colors! Your painting has such fun energy 🎨😍
Not to shame or anything but I can't even imagine eating 15000 calories. I would probably land myself in a hospital if I tried. If your stomach has such a huge food capacity it's probably hard eating normal sized portions.
15000 in a day?? That can’t be possible for the digestive, I think it was over a few days maybe
@@sophiestanza No, she has eaten that much in a day before. So having two days in the week 15k a day is possible
@@TonicBlade Jesus ……
I started going out for walks myself and first I spent 30 days walking just 5 min, at any time of the day, tgat little thing helped a lot in creating an habit and believe me it already felt like an effort just to mantain a routine even for 5 ridiculous minutes. My advice is do a month of the same "easy" thing and then increase 1% a day. Really just get 1% better every day. That can be 5min more walking, doing one more choice, getting to bed on time, waking up 30min earlier. Literally, just 1% better. Theres no point on doing too little and then doing too much, its a cycle that leaves you nowhere.
Push through!! Thanks for the chat/update Tammy ❤
I'm sorry you're going through a rough time. We're all here with you no matter what. Recovery is never smooth but you totally have it within you to get better, you're such a lovely person and deserve true happiness and I just know you will find it. Take care and be gentle with yourself.
You really inspire me with your projects! I'm always thinking of things I want to do, and then having trouble getting myself started.
you should absolutely be proud for getting your steps in I admire your strength and your accountability videos
To have a bad week, but still keep up the walking, upload a video, go to a birthday, plant seeds etc is so good. You’re pushing through Tammy. Keep on keeping on girl.
im proud of you for still doing the walking,
im proud of you for being so open and honest about your feelings,
im proud of you for picking yourself up every day,
im proud of you for taking care of yourself regardless!!!
and i hope one day you can be too, be proud of yourself tammy♥
sometimes its the little wins in life that add up to the bigger goals, i know you can do this
Stay strong Tammy ❤
Hi Tammy! Although I don't comment often here on your channel, I just wanted to say that you definitely are not alone. It took me years to get to the point where I was able to give up soda pop because when I used to drink soda, it fueled and triggered my junk food cravings and March 15th of last year, was my last day that I had any type of soda, diet soda, and eating junk food one or more times a day and I've lost 42 lbs and I'm down to 183 lbs and before I seriously started making lifestyle changes, I was 225 lbs. I'm still not done with my weight loss but I feel so much better. Lifestyle changes are never easy I get that but the more you actually make those changes and stay consistent with it, it gets so much easier, as consistency is the key with successfully losing weight and keeping it off, once you reach your goals. Keep at it with the walking, that's a very good exercise for sure. I tell myself if I have to eat out, figure out better and healthier choices when not eating at home. That's also made a big difference for me. You got this and you can do it. Hang in there. Blessings from the United States.
Sending extra love and healing for you !💗💗💗
Try not to be so hard on yourself Tammy! You keep showing up, and keep trying, even when it gets hard. Lots of people who don't have issues with binge eating still struggle to lose weight, it can be a really difficult thing. It's great that you're sharing your journey. Keep going! You can do this! 🍋 🤍
So you had a set back, I don’t think you’re giving up, so just brush yourself off and carry on. Don’t be so hard on yourself. ❤️✌🏻🍋
You have so many amazing talents!
Don’t let a bad day get to you!! You have far more Great days than you do bad.
We all have issues and most of us wouldn’t be so honest with ourselves let alone others!
Love you so much LemFam mama🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋
You are always soooo hard on yourself, Tammy! But … I am following your advice -about taking care of yourself. Something we should be doing regardless of our situation. I am trying too! ❤️❤️❤️
The gift wrapping and d20 die was really cute! I enjoyed watching that.
I am proud of you for ensuring you got your steps in! I'm sorry to hear you've been struggling so much, but it says a lot you're keeping track of it and your exercise still. keep it up! it's when you stop keeping track of things that things start to become out of control. sending you strength! I never even thought about just repairing my cats messed up scratching posts 🤦♀️ I'm definitely going to do that, we got my cats a really nice tree and they ripped it up so quickly
You looked beautiful during the video Tammy, all these "small" positive things are def making a bigger difference than it may seems! Sending you healing vibes!
The way he meows like "what happened mom??" 😭
I'm sorry you've been feeling so poorly lately. I hope you feel better soon! Rough weeks can be so discouraging, but remember that things will get better 🙂
Love you Tammy, and Love your channel, keep up the good work 🎉🎉🎉🎉.
You expect quite a bit from yourself... nothing blooms year round, everything has its seasons my dear!
You're doing so well Tammy! It's easy to do well when we're motivated and on the right track, but the hardest tests are when we've messed up and our progress is stagnating and triggering our all or nothing mentality, and we need to choose to stick to it anyway. No matter what happens, whether you succeed or end up bingeing, what matters is that every time you push a little harder and delay it a little longer. It's hard to want to see that as improvement, because what we really want is to do things 100% right, but it IS a huge improvement that you should be proud of!! You always inspire me not to give up even if I completely screw up. Also, not to be creepy, but as a bisexual woman, you're seriously really gorgeous. Not like "gorgeous for an overweight person" but just objectively gorgeous!
LOVE YOUR CONTENT! 😍 you cuddling with your cat was so cute 🤭
curious to if you need a roommate? Meaning i know i do better with someone else around. I am happier and i function better just knowing im not alone. It is hard to stay on a path. Do you eat on schedule? it did help me to get on a meal schedule and to get plates that hold what i need not what i want. I do understand binging is different for everyone.
😅omg bad kitties my cats get into everything as well , Tammy here's a tip use conditioner on your hair before getting in the shower then shampoo this helps with the tangles.👍🏻
There are products you can use for washed and tangled hair which make the brushing very easy. I don’t know if they sell them outside USA but “It’a A 10”.. is a great spray! I have been using for years for my thick hair
This video must have the wrong title, because that was a win! That self talk to get yourself out of the bad feelings was GREAT. Putting on the makeup and everything (brows look great btw) is the hard part! And you did it! You didn't give in at that moment, so that's strength. GOOD FOR YOU Dude.
Muckers knows you need loving. 🙏🏻❤️
My hair is similar texture but a lot more wavy and frizzy, I find brushing it in the shower as you're rinsing conditioner out saves a lot of time, it detangles a lot easier
Tammy, you're so creative! 😊
Hi Tammy. Forgive yourself for the binges and pat yourself on the back for keeping up with the walking, which is great! Don't give up. Get back on track and keep going with your goals. 🥰
😡 Yuki, you marshmallow...! You threw the plant babies! 🪴
Just asking, do you have maybe a patch of grass on your balcony? Cats love dirt and grass to roll around, and that's why they sometimes throw pots from the sills 😅 stick a good patch of grass on a good platter or similar, with drainage, and your cats might leave your plant pots alone. They really want the dirt smell, since they are prey animals too (contrary to popular belief) and dirt smell makes them feel like they are hiding/masking their own smell to catch other animals.
Hey Tammy keep going!
I’ve started brushing my hair in the shower. I feel like when the water is flowing it kind of lessens snags
On a "restricting day" what food do you consume? If you feel like it make a video for that, it would be nice
Tammy, the restricting of food and overwalking are forms of self punishment. You don't need to punish yourself because you have mental health issues. You coped the best you could in a difficult situation or mindset. What would happen if you just said, "What is done is done" and approach your day in a positive way eating your normal food? It hurts my heart to see you so down on yourself. I absolutely understand it because I too have done the same thing, but recently, I have tried to walk in grace and forgive myself. I am trying really hard not to punish myself for my coping skills. I hope you can forgive yourself and just move forward in a positive way.
Sugar addiction.
Sugar addiction is a myth that has been disproven time and time again, it literally does not exist. Further spreading the myth of sugar addiction contributes nothing helpful to the conversation of obesity and binge eating, it does so much harm because it misdirects sufferers of BED towards solving a problem that does not exist.
The body will desperately ask for sugar typically when there are insulin issues involved. Something like insulin resistance is very common in BED sufferers. Having insulin resistance will cause your body to not process the sugar that you're eating, instead just storing it as fat. This means that your body thinks that you're not giving it enough sugar, and will make you uncontrollably crave it more and more.
I'm someone who got scammed into believing the fake "sugar addiction" rhetoric and suffered greatly as a result. When I finally got medicated for my insulin issues, my body immediately stopped asking for sugar, and I stopped binge eating. Thank god I had a smart doctor who knew his shit and who was able to explain to me that there's no real, legitimate research on "sugar addiction" that any respectable dietician or food scientist will view as legitimate, and put me on the right track.
Please be more careful about spreading this kind of misinformation.
@@taylorg2320 No, it's not a myth. It is very real.
@@taylorg2320 I think you are right, in that cravings are also physiological symptoms. It's certainly something to think about, that there isn't an addiction exactly, but it doesn't take away the likelihood that highly sugary foods are addictive in themselves and become a mind game. And that can be a trap for a range of codependent consequences like insulin resistance and BED. Right?
Wishing you well ❤.
Eyelash curler tip: heat/warm it first - with hairdryer (or in bra). It gives much better curl.
Maaker is so sweet. It’s like he was trying to comfort you. 🥹❤😻 The walking is so good for you Tammy. Please remember.. Slow and steady wins the race. Btw, you are so amazing at crafts.. you are so talented at so many things. Hope you had a lovely time at your nieces birthdays!
Are you still eating higher protein to help with fullness? Glad you were able to keep going on walks.
So nice to see makker hanging out inside
Makker comforting you❤😢❤😢❤😢
Try getting a job. It will occupy your mind.
love you tammy. x
Just keep going! Remember : progress not perfection.
I’m so sorry you’re struggling :( but I’ve been stuck in a rut with my mental health (adapting to new medication) and your video has inspired me to put more effort into the little things, and think of projects I could do to feel better ❤️🩹
I have a tip for your walking routine. I know you are obsessed with counting things, calories, protein, steps etc. Counting steps is not a good thing if you are overweight in my opinion. The weight fluctuates every day, your strength too so maybe some day you can walk more than some other day. I would suggest to you what I did. I started counting by distance, I walked for example an X distance and then I counted the distance with googlemaps when I got home. If the next day or even the same day I felt pain on my feet I reduced the distance of walking by reducing the time I walked a little bit, maybe 10-20 minutes, I usually walked for 1 to 1.5 hours, about 4 kilometers a day. I skip one day every two days because my knees feel bad if I walk three days in a row. Change your routine until you find your formula that works for you, don't punish yourself . I love you sweetie, stay strong!
Thank you for sharing
Feel so sad that you punish yourself when you relapse. It’s hard enough living with an eating disorder, but to self shame yourself is very damaging. The problem (as I’m sure you know) isn’t the food. The food is the weapon you try and destroy yourself with. You have so many talents and so many positive attributes that most people don’t have, you should be so proud of. How tall, short, thin or fat is just our genetic makeup. You are doing really well. Take care ❤
I think "my heart dropped" does not mean what you think it means. It means you were suddenly sad.
Hi Tammy! I am really loving your new color! Your eyebrows look spot on too!
Tammy you've had a little set back
Get back on the wagon ♥️
Why beat yourself up
you cannot be perfect all the time
So true. 😊
Maybe try a hair detangling spray and a detangling brush. It can really help. Spray it on your wet hair and then work through with a detangling brush.
Get a Wet Brush, they're the best for untangle hair! ❤️
So much numbers. I can't imagine how overtaxed your brain is.
Exactly
Your cats are adorable.
Will you let us know what time of the day the binges normally occur?
❤❤❤
I saw ObeseToBeast talking about CZcams cracking down on channels that discusses ED’s, mostly restrictive ones but I wonder how it’ll effect channels similar to yours.
It's very likely that at the very least several of Tammy's previous videos, particularly the mukbang, would be taken down. And if her channel is allowed to continue, it would probably come with an age restriction.. at least in looking at her past and current content.
It's been a thing for ages, since Logan Paul uploading a video of a deceased person triggered stricter rules about monetisation. You couldn't discuss binge eating at all, but now you can, so I don't think they'll ban it or anything
@@ByeByeBelly It seems like they're focusing more on restrictive ED's than BED's and overeating. I think it's because youtube gets a LOT of money from mukbangs and they can't really remove videos from channels who eat on video simply because they're obese while leaving smaller youtubers untouched, so I think Tammy will be safe from it. It just makes me curious if it'll eventually get stricter but I doubt it so you're probably right. It won't do much if anything
maybe in times like these it would be better to focous on mantaining, stay strong ^^
Makkar so sweet
don't beat yourself up for binging. You're human after all. Of course days like this are going to happen. That doesn't make you a failure at all! You will get through it. Better days are coming
Hi Tammy, I'm a lefty too.
Makker is zo lief❤
Tammy, I think you forgot to link Sophie’s Etsy shop in the description? 🐱
I think you would look cute with shoulder length hair. Also, you have a real flair for craft.
you are such a sweet soul. I wish you could find some peace. random stranger here if you need support.
Be kind to yourself. Ask yourself am I being kind to myself before you restrict food or binge eat. This works for me and I now have a much better relationship with food and my body.
Makker is such a sweet boy
Mucker is the first tri(3) colored cat that I have seen that is a male!!!
Can we all just take a look at those amazing fingernails♥️♥️♥️♥️
Did you adopt a new fur baby Tammy?
When she says she had a very bad binge of 12000 calories is that just one meal or an entire days worth?
From what she has said before it seems like binge = a day long thing. At least that’s how I’ve interpreted it.
You make me want to eat Ben and Jerry's and chocolate.
Tammy I think you are very pretty
Dag tammy, mijn naam is hafida
Ik hou van je katten ❤
Ik vind dat je erg veel zelfvertrouwen hebt om op youtube te komen
Wees trots erop
Mijzelf, ben erg verlegen ervoor.
Ik ben een 43 jarige vrouw, hafida
Hoe oud ben je , tammy?
Veel liefs vanuit Belgie 🇧🇪
Hang in there, sweetie. You can’t change what happened, but you can start fresh the next day. BED is a nasty beast, and you won’t tame it overnight. Just don’t give up. ❤
Of course being overweight is unhealthy but maybe you need to free yourself from all the pressure that is weighing on you. Many viewers are definitely expecting a weight loss. But your followers want to see you happy first and foremost! Be yourself and enjoy life..everything will be fine! 🤗🍋👍
🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻
Eat auntie ever!
What about your SKIN? It looks AMAZING! You must have stopped picking at your face.
Are you sure you can't get ozempic? Trust me - if you can get it, the weight war would be over. On Mounjaro and before that on ozempic I lost interest in food almost altogether. I lost 108 pounds already and I barely think about food. Food is now fuel and no longer for enjoyment or a mood boosting. And sweets - I used to like sweets way to much. Now it's eh. Someone gave me a cake today. I gave that sucker away. I didn't want it, even a little
Don't recommend Ozempic. I know you mean well, but it doesn't solve the issues at the core of the weight gain. Once you're off it the hunger will return, as will the weight. Not to mention you're causing a shortage of meds that diabetics need.
@@ShaCaro 💯
@@ShaCaro it's a long term medicine, not one you go off after you lose weight. And if you buy Wegovy (which is the same compound) it is marked for weight loss instead of diabetes. And if you read the dosage chart for Wegovy it tells you there is a maintenance dose.... . It does NOT say after you lose enough stop the medicine lol 😂
Agree 100% The above poster is unfortunately misinformed. It is a medication that many will need for life. Wegovy is not diverting medication from anyone. Wegovy is a tool - not the whole toolbox. You absolutely can treat BED while on Wegovy. I am a therapist. This medication is life changing and life saving for patients. Pros and cons for everything. Medical decisions are between doctor and patient. Not random people on the internet who decide the choice they would make is for all. Tammy did say last video that it would take 2 years where she lives to be approved so that’s a huge barrier for her.
I considered it but wasn't ok with side effects. But I'm getting a bit desperate
I feel you….
One thing i noticed is you’re hoping that u do more selfcare / make up when you lose more weight….this is the point isn’t it? Do it know…why than and not now?
Greetings from Germany ❤
Yuki wants to garden with you
Tammy!!
You can Only Lose One Pound At A Time🌸
Please don’t be so hard on yourself🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋
Exercising is beneficial to the body, overexercising is not!
If you feel pain you need to stop, I don't mean the burn in your muscles!
Eating makes me feel better, that's what I suggest, it will perk you up and make the day magical!
Why would you throw soil in the trash?
Dear Tammy, it's Rozanne here (from UK). I recently went through tribulation and I'm just coming out of it now, and God has shown me that the purpose is simply: Jesus. There is no other purpose as far as I am aware. Our lives cannot be complete or worthy without Christ I don't believe, and I'm saying that based on my experience of many wasted and difficult years when I was lost. So please ask God to show you the meaning of Christianity. And then, with Christ, all of the psychiatry/psychology/worldly wisdom could have a fighting chance of helping you. With Christ on your side, you would still have struggles, just the same I have plenty of struggles I am yet to fully resolve. However, the difference is there is repentence and an accountability which comes from being connected with the source of life (the Triune God). This is the only advice I can offer....and I'm really sorry I can't write more, but I'm not experienced enough as a Christian yet to be able to provide more insight in how you can save your life and find Jesus. But as I always say to people, just say Jesus. If you are feeling rough, uncertain, down, take that first step. You would be providing the greatest gift for yourself just doing this one first step to help yourself and your life. All the best, Roz
God bless you for spreading the truth!❤🙌🏻🙏🏻
Girl, Tammy grew up in a cult. Give her a break on the religious crap
I just don't understand why you let your cats run amok ruining your nice things and crawling all over you and everything. Why don't you start training them? On the other hand you seem to think it's funny.
Cats are gonna do cat things.