r/Askreddit What's Your Night Shift Horror Story?
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- Äas pĆidĂĄn 13. 01. 2021
- r/Askreddit On today's episode we have two askreddit questions: What's the best joke you know? and What are your night shift horror stories? I wanted to include the jokes to lighten the mood at a bit, because some of the horror stories are downright horrifying, disgusting, and creepy. For example, one user who worked at a morgue told a story about a guy who tried to pay them money to let him spend a few hours alone with the freshest corpses. What do you think he wanted to do with them?
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#reddit #askreddit #funnyredditposts
"Sneaky Snitch" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
License: CC By Attribution 3.0 - Komedie
I was so confused for a little bit because I clicked on a horror story video, zoned out, and zoned back into a story about 100,000 ducks.
And a 10'' pianist :)
You ever seen a duck. 100,000 of them showing up in a cramped bar is horrifying.
Relatable đ
Same. I had to check the title. đ
10" failed experiment
The banana execution joke made me laugh more than it probably should have at the punchline.
I donât get it
@@mr.beaver5029electricity flows through materials that conduct well. The conductor (train operator) was a bad conductor (good insulator) so electricity didn't pass through him.
@@dneendcreeper3239 Oooooooh that makes sense
I got kicked out of a party for that joke.
My uncle has told me that one before so when I heard it start recognized it immediately
Thumbnail: Pure horror
Real stories: haha funni and weird
What about that one guy who was f**king dead bodies, then his wife?
@@some1behindthescreen535 oh yeah that oneâs hilarious đ
@@Renegadeseer ah. At least you have a sense of humor.
These are some of my favorite short jokes:
"An irish man walks out of a bar"
"A dislexic man walks into a bra"
"Why did the boy dropped his ice cream? He was hit by a bus"
"Why little Suzie fell off the swing? Because she had no arms.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Suzie"
"What's blue and fluffy? Blue fluff."
"What's brown and sticky? A stick."
Those are still my cousin's favourites from when he was a kid. He's 40 and has three kids of his own.
edit: after seeing the "Cinderella at the ball" joke, I have another:
"What's pink and hard and you rub it in the bathroom? A bar of soap."
Ugh, these jokes remind me of the ones my highschool classmates used to tell.
"What's the green thing in the pool?
... a dead baby."
i am your 69th like
Joke for some Hearthstone gamers...
Patches goes to the bar
He orders a beer
Then ask how much he will pay.
Bartender says "No charge"
@@declanrodgers6995 this is the new default analogy over the see that man with no arms go tell him to clap but mom Iâm blind one
Man: *crashes trains three times*
Also man: *survives every electric chair execution*
Well I don't know what to say, but I'm shocked
I hate that but good one.
Joseph Joestar?
Nice
Pun intended lol
@@lolaj9701 YES, I AM!
Can we all just appreciate the time rslash takes to walk to the perfect spot to make the echo sound
One of my favorite jokes (found on Reddit):
A battalion of the Soviet Red Army is setting up camp during the Winter War when a voice from beyond a hill shouts:
"1 Finn can take on 10 Soviets!"
The colonel, annoyed by this, sends 10 men over the hill. There's the sound of gunfire, then silence. After a while, the silence is broken by the same voice calling out:
"1 Finn can take on 50 Soviets!"
Angry, the colonel sends 50 men over the hill. There's even more gunfire, and then silence, which is soon broken by the same voice yelling:
"1 Finn can take on 100 Soviets!"
Infuriated, the colonel sends 100 men over the hill. There's even more gunfire, and silence. This time, however, one of the Soviet soldiers comes crawling back over the hill, barely alive. He warns the colonel:
"It's a trap! There's 2 of them!"
I dont get it
@@Ahmad_1799 One finn can take on 50 soviets. 50 x 2 = 100.
Here's mine from my youth
Blonde walks into a bar. Sees a short old man with a large frog on counter infront of him. A gorgeous redhead walks up to them. "BEER FOR THE FROG!!" As she kisses its head. The woman is confused but, some women cant hold their liquor đ€·ââïž. This happens another 6 times. All gorgeous, voluptuous women. By now the blonde has had a few herself and her interest is piqued. She stumbles her way around the counter. "HEY,,hey why are they buying your toad beer?"
Oldman "well he's a frog and honestly miss...*whisper* he he eats đ better than anyone"
BS! I dont believe that!
Well, i can show you. Hes got his own room upstairs. Drunk and obstinate she snorts her agreement. They walk upstairs. Oldman turns around"please miss lay there and lift your skirt. You can cover with that sheet" . The blonde does. Oldman sets his frog down with a grunt. Puts sheet over it. Nothing happens. "Cmon your making us look stupid! Are you serious?" With a sigh he removes frog from his way"okay...but this is LAST time i show you!"
â@Ahmad--Edits he makes claims about what a single Finnish Soldier can do...but there's 2 of them
6:41 Rslashâs wife listening to him recording this part like đđđ
12:50 AM?Yeah sure scary stuff! (worth it though)
The moon lord brings memories
@@bodaciousdoggo8971 eye of cthulu all the way to moon lord
Oi its 9 pm here
Its 9 for me
1:06 am
My favorite joke: what do you call a man who lost his toe and got a rubber replacement?
Roberto
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs laying on the floor?
Matt
@themakerofbadvideos What do you call a girl who simps to her favorite anime boys? Me
@@coffeefighter7976 WAIT, You guys have crushes?
I dont. o-o
Markiplier with his story be like: So i was at this pizza place, and this animatronic rabbit kept trying to kill me
You still watch markiplier
@@midheelwhip I do
@@midheelwhip yes
â@@midheelwhipyes
â@midheelwhip Yes lol. What about it?
I came up with this horrible Dad joke a couple years back:
Q: What do you find on the sides of a cliff face?
A: Mountain-ears
No you didnât that joke is old and itâs only one bang, one stab and one tank but
đ€·đ»ââïž
My Dad jokes:
What would happen if the ocean and a rope had a competition? They tied/tide!
What did the boat say to the Rock? Nothing. It just rocked.
What did the peanut say to the shoebox? Ab-sole-lutely Nut-thing
Why couldnât the duck make it across the border?
Because he was smuggling quack
Questions I've received from the funnier side of my online tutorials:
"Like, how do I send you questions?"
"Do I have to know how to use a computer if I want to go into I.T.?"
"A job I want has a requirement that I must know the Word. What word do I need to know?"
Lol lately you don't need to know crap about computers to go into IT. just how to use excel and powerpoint heh
@@BeckBeckGo if you can use excel and Word you have a basic understanding of computers
@@BeckBeckGo That's so true. I just suddenly took an the IT tasks at work because the old IT guy quit and there is no one else to cover for him. I don't know much about Computers except how to use them. Everything else that I don't know, I at least know how to Google lol. Well, going through the stuff that needed to be done in the near future with the old guy, most of it I have actually done before, like browser settings, installing of programs, setup of printers, updates and just the basic task of wiring the hardware. And seeing my (especially older) colleagues, they don't even know how to setup a windows profile, or for that matter, move PC hardware to a new workplace. So insert "look at me, I am the new IT guy now" - meme, here lol
Oh? Somebody doesn't know the word. It's the bir- *Gunshot sound*
That last question, I would have replied with "You need to know the bird...because the bird is the word".
12:33 the definition of "I'd kill for a bagel right now" lol
5:47 for horror stories
You dropped this king đ
An Irish man walks into a pub....
I like where this is going
But I think he wasn't going after that night
But not before a pint
The dead sex disease is gonna hunt my dreams forever.
Edit I meant haunt lol
We going dream hunting
Life is short, but herpes is forever!
Dead sex disease:loads shotgun
There's a movie like that. Contracted is the name. Pretty much zombie std.
Richtofen: Wait, when did i last slept?
"OH MY GOD WHAT THE F- Our next episode is from user..."
Deceased đ€Łđ€Łđ€Ł
I'm half asleep, check my phone and almost had a heart attack because of the thumbnail lol my tired ass thought it was from my security camera notification lol
Omg Lmaoo
A guy walks into an ice cream shop and approaches the counter:
Customer: Hey, could i get a scoop of chocolate ice cream?
Cashier: We're out of chocolate ice cream. is there something you'd like instead?
Customer: Oh, Okay. can i get 2 scoops, one vanilla one chocolate?
Cashier: Again, we are out of chocolate. We have vanilla and strawberry.
Customer: Oh, right. Can i get 3 scoops instead? One vanilla, one strawberry, one chocolate?
At this point, the cashier is getting annoyed with having to explain the lack of chocolate ice cream.
Cashier: Okay, can you do something for me? Can you spell 'van' as in 'vanilla' for me?
Customer: Huh? V-a-n?
Cashier: Now spell 'straw' as in 'strawberry'
Customer: S-t-r-a-w?
Cashier: Now spell 'fuck' like you'd spell it in 'chocolate ice cream'
Customer: Wait, what? There is no 'fuck' in chocolate ice cream
Cashier: That's what i'm trying to tell you!
"Nose exhales intensifies"
I don't get it.
OOOOOOOOOOO
@@photo_frames9438 It works better spoken I think.
"There's no fuck in ice cream"
"There's no fuckin ice cream"
@@MercuryA2000 Ohhhhhh oki
Here's mine:
So the year is 1942, and this young man gets enlisted into the army. Now, this man wasn't all that bright, but he miraculously made it through boot camp.
Now, let's flash forward to his first battle. As the boats hit the coast and the Allied soldiers started spilling out, the young man came to a horrifying realization: he left his rifle back at base!
He goes to his commanding officer, who was just about to charge into battle himself, and tells him "Um, sir, I left my rifle back at base."
The commander groans in frustration, but then he starts thinking. He looks around, and sees a broom. The commander grabbed the broom, and said "Here, if them Nazis get in your sight, point it at 'em and yell 'Bangity bang bang', got it?"
The dimwitted soldier nodded, but then raised a hand. "What about a bayonet, sir?"
The commanding officer hmmed and hmmed, then plucked one straw from the end of the broom, and fastened it to the opposite end. "Now, son, if them Nazis get too close for comfort, point that at 'em and yell 'Stabity stab stab'!"
The dumb soldier nodded, and charged into battle. He was scared by all the noise, so he did his best to hide.
As the battle raged on, the Allied forces were whittled down slowly until the dimwitted soldier was the only one left. He decided to swallow his fear, and finally pointed his broom at a Nazi, yelling "BANGITY BANG BANG!"
The Nazi falls dead.
As our lovably dumb soldier looks at his broom in disbelief, another Nazi charged at him, so he thrust the broom forward, yelling "STABITY STAB STAB!"
That Nazi falls dead as well.
The soldier was astonished that the broom actually worked! He began to mow down the Nazis with the cleaning instrument in an insane last stand!
"BANGITY BANG BANG!"
"STABITY STAB STAB!"
The Nazis are dropping like flies, until there's one left... and he's approaching our delughtfully dumb soldier veeeery slowly. Was he... muttering something? The soldier couldn't tell because of the crashing waves making noise.
"BANGITY BANG BANG!" the soldier yelled out, but the Nazi still approached.
The soldier was shocked. How was it failing?! Alright, maybe he just missed or something, so he decided to try again.
"BANGITY BANG BANG!"
The Nazi still approached, a sadistic smile growing on his face.
The dumb soldier charged at him, yelling "STABITY STAB STAB!" to no avail.
The Nazi clocked him in the head, burying him halfway into the sands, then stomped him down to finish the burial, all while repeating three words: "Tankity tank tank."
Tank
That was really bad
@@BenoitRAG3 Nah, I think I could appreciated the effort put into writing the story but
did op really just write a ww2 fanfiction
tf did i just read
Nice
@@reeession2192 a terrible ww2 fan fiction
The dude with the bananas should have ordered a 5 course meal smh
Bad conductor: Iâm just a bad conductor
Me: shakes head in disappointment
Anyone else think that the native child was a ghost at first and the store was built on an ancient Indian burial ground like in horror movies?
Uhhhhh, Indians don't bury they burn the bodies of the dead.
@@photo_frames9438
That very much depends on the tribe. You canât assume that every single group of people is the same just because they have a similar skin color. The tribes of North America didnât even share the same housing types between tribes as cultures vary by tribe
@@justicedunham4088 Oh you mean those indians I thought you meant the asia country if india
But, I just realised you meant the native american indians
nope, noone with a brain did
I want a compilation of stories where Rslash does the yelling down the hall bits. I laugh so hard every time! Rslash thank you for going above and beyond for those stories, call back to the bank one where a guy who was a teller was yelled at by his boss for not being cheerful enough and scared everyone-rslash did it perfectly! where's his oscar?
When Rslash screamed across his room "Where's the dick cream?!" Died đ€Ł to be fair if the thing is embarrassing i personally wouldn't want to shout it and will approach someone and ask quietly lmfao đđ€Ł even during the now days.
Timestamp plz
@@woahzers 6:42
@@woahzers watch the video smh
@@notaplic8158 it was night when I said that
XD
Hearing Rslash scream "WHERE'S THE DICK CREAM?" was absolutely the highlight of my day.
My grandpa is gonna like that "10 inch pianist" joke đ
I canât believe nobody said âSo I was working the night shift at Chuck E Cheeseâsâ
Thatâs because those that know either die or live under the threat of death if they confess
I love these videos when playing my games
Once you said âwifi goes downâ my video started buffering. Oh thatâs rich isnât it
Here's my Horror Story:
A man comes walking into the restaurant while we had the inside closed to customers. The manager asked him to step outside to take his order because he couldn't get his trailer through the drive through. He then started screaming about calling the cops. I was still rather new to the job, so this terrified me. I still work there to this day.
Lol I âlovedâ working night shifts at a gas station. We got all the âfunâ people. I had a young woman ask for straight up blunts one time and I live in a state where weed is still illegal, so it was fun.
"oh, you think I wanted a 10" pianist"
hahaha, funny pp joke, sadly toasters (in their toaster form) don't have a pp.
i mean they might they have to get there power *somehow*
Yeah no that joke was lame
Wait... You have a different form than this ? My nan didn't tell me that !!!
What's the difference between a car and a toilet?
One you sit for running and the other you run for sitting
Here's a good joke:
Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson are going camping. They pitch their tent under the stars and go to sleep. In the middle of the night Holmes wakes Watson up: "Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you deduce."
Watson: "I see millions of stars and even if a few of those have planets, it's quite likely there are some planets like Earth, and if there are a few planets like Earth out there, there might also be life."
Holmes: "Watson, you idiot, it means somebody's stolen our tent!"
Good one.
YAAAAAAY!!!! I LOVE these types of stories RSlash!! I hope you do some more r/letsnotmeet stories too! I love the variety, all the choosing beggars and Karen/Kevin stories are good too but itâs starting to skew my perception of people and make me hyper aware of situations thinking âcould this be RSlash material?â đđđ
Joke of the day:
Why did the doofus get fired from the M&M factory?
*Because he threw away the W's!*
This video is made for me
Hehe hehe HAHA HAHA
Yeah this video is your vid
are you a dad or something?
@@adamtichy8008 no but basically
This is definitely one of my favorites!! I'd love to hear you do more /askreddit topics!!! :)
When I was in high school I had a history teacher tell that train conductor joke but he made it last the entire class, he told it very serious and people were taking notes, like it was going to be a test on how well we paid attention, and at the end he said the punchline and we were all just left sitting there...like what? Then he cracked up and the bell rang.
Another joke of the day (inspired by âeveryday jokesâ)
Teacher: ok class! What comes before 2?
Class: 1
That one kid: âWorld warâ
The class : đ±
Hahaha
Ha
Ha.........?
I'm laughing out loud. Right now. Can you hear me? Haha.
And then god's voice boomed across the landscape.
"John, come fourth and recieve eternal life in heaven"
John came fifth and won a toaster.
The reason why I finally decided to make the step to posting directly on Reddit was because of all the time I spend listening to compilation channels like yours. When I saw how many people read and updooted my rattlesnake story, I was kinda hoping to see it here someday. Thank you, rSlash!
I got here so quick. Love you, rSlash! I watch your videos every morning. :)
I wish we had the old rslash back. The one that could say these naughty words
CZcams would demonitize him and he won't get money sadly T-T but I feel ya
Just confused why he said dick but vagina was blocked out and skipped. But yea, demonitization sucks.
He could but would get no more youtube money
Oh my good freaking f**k.
That's the most insane thing I've ever heard. This was the best video ever!! I had đ±đ§đ faces the whole time LOL!
0:29 That's "good conscience."
Thanks for all your work on these videos! :)
Loved jokes at beginning. Hope you cover more of this content đđ
These aren't scary night shift stories they're just puns and jokes where are my spookies???????
5:47
@@yellowmello1223 thanks friendo
@@yellowmello1223 thank u
Did you not listen to the very first thing Rslash said? đ
We have TWO Ask Reddit questions for you
Literally any entitled brat watching this:Ahhhh mommy im scarred!!.
Entitled mom:starts berating the phone.
"SIR! WHY THE HELL ARE YOU SCARING MY BABY?!?!?"
I love this stuff! Do you think you could do the spooky stuff more frequently?
The coroner story is an urban legend repeated by everyone everywhere.
ohh boy i mm ready for this one...
The banana joke: Thats Dark. like. Really Really Dark.
How, I don't understand?
Dark humor is like food, not everybody gets it
that morgue one is literally how a horror movie started; a guy who works in a morgue violated a corpse without protection, then hooked up with a girl and did the deed also without protection, then the girl started to rot from the inside and developed a hankering for human flesh
Contraction and they made a sequel. Soon as I heard that I thought bs that's a movie. Zombie std lol.
LOL "I wanna try that bagel :D!" I liked this video the best, I like kind of spooky stories
Better joke: An Irishman walks out of a bar.
If it's Tim Horton's, which I'm guessing it is, French Toast bagel. SO GOOD. I would consider threatening people to get one.
A seal walks into a bar
Barman: What you want ?
Seal: Anything but a Canadian Club on the rocks..
The horror stuff was great! I love scary and disgusting things, I'd love to see more!
Looking looking looking... Finally
"A man and a whale walk into a bar"
"The man says nothing"
"The whale says eEEaaaAAaAooOH"
And that's the joke
Its bad
@@BenoitRAG3 yeah
More horror stories please, if you you can and other people want it too! I really liked it :D
The second was a joke my dad used to tell us, I really miss him. Thanks for that, it brought up great memories.
Thanks for being so early!
Nobody:
My uncle in the thumbnail waiting for me to undress:
I like the r/MaliciousCompliance, etc. stuff, but this is a really nice break and I have to say I did enjoy this and would love to see these more often
Hey i love your vids keep up the good work!!
Ok, I'm all alone in my room. Lets turn the lights off and watch Rslash and Rage at entitled parents.
**Sees Title*
Ok r/ask reddit is not bad
**see Thumbnail*
Now I cant sleep!
Thanks Rslash!
Early post today? Sweet
This was REALLY good!!
Hi keep doing this it makes my day so much easier
To the pianist joke (and I hope someone gets this): Goodnight Everybody!
hi rSlash
This is the best video I whatch these every night.
I love horror stories. Plz do more of these
Someones early
Im finally early
Same
I've never been early before sweet
@@LinkOT5927 me 4
Same
Ummm 10th time? 20th i dunno, im up at 6am tho
Had to come to CZcams to get this Rslash upload. Not sure if you were aware that your download didn't make it to Spotify. Thanks bro
Love the fact that a desk clerk's response to a DV victim is basically, "DV victims aren't welcome at this hotel!"
Pp poopooo
Imagine being first HA!
Ur not tho
@@katiebrooks9702 i know im not im just makin a joke
Oh boy! 2 askeddit questions, and a early upload? Sign me up!
Love your vids!
The first joke got me good.. that was very well done.
Joke:
Build a man a fire, and heâll be warm for a day.
Set a man on fire, and heâll be warm for the rest of his life.
thanks for saying at the beginning that there are two questions! :)
Love the more dark content. Would love to see some r/nosleep stories
How about a combo story?
Was working the night shift at Toys R Us and we played a prank on a coworker. He was working alone in the upstairs storage area and we put an R/C vehicle up there with an empty cardboard box covering it. From a distance we watched and every time he turned his back to the box, we moved it very slightly. He could hear the box slide on the concrete floor but couldn't figure out what was making it. As the tension built and he started to narrow down the location of the noise we had the box charge at him full speed. It was a shame that this was before camera phones cause our descriptions of his shriek could never really do it justice.
R/slash screaming across the room is always hilarious.
My cousin who worked as a late shift nurse was in the room when a woman's dead baby was being delivered and as the doctor had the head in his hands it came off. My cousin threw up then had to turn around and help the doctor deliver the rest of the baby. Freaky things almost as bad as that (and sometimes worse ) happen all the time we usually don't hear about them.
Ah, nice to see we got some jokes to prepare us for the scary stories
That's great! My coworker loved the ten inch pianist joke.
My favorite joke is "What's the cheapest kind of meat, Dear ball's there under a buck!"
The freebie joke almost made me choke, I love puns!
đ€Łđ€Łđ€Łđ€Ł ok these are making school work really hard to get back too, but doable lol
6:41 đ€Łđ€Łđ€Łđ€Łđ€Łđ€Łđ€Łđ€Łđ€Łđ€Łđ€Ł I'm dying!!!!! đ€Łđ€Łđ€Łđ€Ł If I remember right Rslash said he has neighbors so I'm just wondering what they were thinking when they heard him say that! đ€Ł
love your vids
The banana execution joke had me stop the video and think about life for a few minutes.
That electric chair joke was beyond funny lol