The Weird Ancient Aliens Video Game
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- čas přidán 15. 05. 2024
- the ancient aliens game is a disaster
where are you, and im so sorry, i cannot sleep i cannot dream tonight, i need somebody and always....... this sick strange darkness comes creeping on so haunting every time and as i stared i counted..... webs from all the spiders, catching things and eating their insides, like indecision to call yewwww and hear your voice of treason will u come home and stop this pain tonight???? stop this pain toni-DONT WASTE YOUR TIME ON ME Y OUR'E ALREADY THE VOICEINSIDEMYHEAD (i miss you i miss you) (the rest of the song)
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━CHAPTERS━
00:00 ancient aliens game
05:00 how many times can i say "unfortunately" in this video
8:00 giorgio
10:00 these are not real chapters lmao gotchuuuu
15:00 subscribe please whatever
tags: #ancientaliens #gabibelle - Komedie
"Will you submit to hypnotic regression to your past life in ancient Egypt? Yes/No" is without a doubt the wildest pop up window I've ever been or will be presented with. I really wanna know what happens if you click no
I must know what happens if you click "no"!
I'm so happy that I wasn't the only one to immediately want to click 'no' to see what happens
Can't believe Assasins creed copied this game 😢
I assume the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe.
@@chriswest6988 so what youre telling me is morpheus used to be a white dude with crazy hair? thats even wackier than aliens
"this is just slavery with extra steps" no, this is JUST slavery
Well, this is just slavery with extra steps FURTHER than detention and forced labour 😅
Mmm... While there likely was some... uhh... probing happening, I suspect it wasn't quite this central to the building of the pyramids. I could be wrong, though, it's not like I was regressed into an ancient Egyptian life of mine.
😮@@NQR-9000
@@Narangarathbased on certain illustrations found on walls and tablets from the era,the ancient Egyptians WERE extremely into anal play.
There's also evidence to suggest the pyramids weren't built by slaves but by people who got paid a good wage, had decent housing, and were allowed days off.
I love that even in the game they get the difference between "tenets" and "tenants" wrong. WTF are the "basic tenants of construction"? Resident contractors that drink soy lattes?
😂 very good
I noticed that too. WTF? 🤣
Wait, wait, ... wait. There are actually *quality* comments on *CZcams*? Why have I never seen one before?!
🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜
@@foxbuns I see what you did there.
If the aliens came to us because their planet is in crisis from a cataclysmic event, does that mean their own planet has aliens that cause THEIR events?
Now that's a real question
Of course. It's ALWAYS Aliens.
We can't know for sure, but what if it were true?
I don't see any evidence disputing that claim, so that makes it fairly likely. We definitely have something that we can't exclude as a strong possibility 👌
That whole "Work for us, and we'll help you defend against a cataclysm on your planet" had a real "Nice place you got here... It would be a shame, if something happened to it." vibe.
duh
gabi in her melee phase was LOCKED IN
If I had seen her serious video game face at that age I'd have known I was doomed and given up immediately.
smol gabi
Main?
You know that was taken at some holiday party where all the kids hung in a room while the adults drank.
Why the hell would aliens come here for gold when there's literally an asteroid belt nearby full of it?
No harvest slaves on asteroids, duh!
That's the point lol
Watch the documentary Battlefield Earth.
Yup. A lot of ancient astronaut theory hinges on dated, now-disproved science. Like Sitchen’s theory that Earth was the best source for gold, or the original Chariot of the Gods’s speculation that Egypt’s mummification was preparing a person for scientific resurrection similar to cryogenic preservation. We now know any hope of bringing a person back like that would involve stopping the brain damage that happens within minutes of death-and literally the first step of Egyptian mummification was scrambling and removing the brain through the nose.
@@jonathanschubert9052 lol, documentary!
But how could the primitive peoples of 2024 ever create an Ancient Aliens game? Could the game have an otherworldly origin? Ancient Astronaut theorists say.... yes
Jarvis Johnson loved that Goooooold callout
Can't believe this is where I learned that he based that off something
@@liamhello6278lol same
The sheer epiphany I felt when I heard that soundbite
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I heard the gold callout and had a physical reaction to it 😭 like "?!?! Jarvis?!!"
Plausible deniability as a currency is genius game writing lol
Legitimately actually a great idea for a mechanic that should be in a better game.
Now we need a sequel that ties into the Stargate universe.@@Nodiee1
I nearly fell out of my chair laughing at that
Me finding out the gooooold audio isnt just something Jarvis did for his gold channel
SAME
Check out the Austin Powers movies. That line is from the third one; Goldmember
@@SyntheticsV2 featuring beyoncé and Britney spears 🥰🥰
Oh man, is this how old I am
Yeah it’s Austin powers
The fact this game came out two years ago and not in 2015 like I thought prior is throwing me for a loop.
I remember playing this game on mobile. When the hair guy invited me to regression therapy to reveal a past life in which aliens manipulate humanity, I started to feel like Ancient Aliens is basically Scientology except without a good guy or a bad guy
fool that you are, the hair guy IS the good guy
Don't worry! If you dig deeper into alien conspiracies you'll discover that many of them do in fact believe that there are good guy aliens and bad guy aliens. The bad guy aliens tend to be the reptilians or the insectoids while the good guy aliens..... Well..... They're often referred to as "the tall whites" or sometimes even "the Scandinavians"........ Yeah, it's exactly as racist as it sounds lmao
I mean their creators are both writers who just made shit up.
You just blew my mind. It absolutely is.
It is. Both plagiarized from the same racist bullshit text, the same text the Nazis took from.
It’s nothing but trying to gaslight people into submission; that we’re only of worth when we’re scrabbling at the feet of tyrants.
What I think is so funny about the plot of this game is that why wouldn't they just harvest materials from the asteroid belt
They can’t afford to since they don’t have probe-currency there
@@averywhat 😆
I enjoy how Giorgio's hair length changes seem to work as a crazy level indicator.
If you piss him off he becomes Vegeta.
What would that game even be? “Click here to steal ancient artifacts.”
The entire Tomb Raider franchise
england simulator lmao
They'd have to rename it to the British Museum simulator
@@marimecham Dang, beat me to the joke lol
"Plausible Deniability" as a resource is pretty neat tbh.
It reminds me of how in Cultist Simulator you have to find ways to avoid/get rid of Suspicion or you'll attract unwanted attention. It's a intriguing concept, & definitely not something I expected from this game.
this video taught me where the "gooooooooooooooooooold!" soundbyte comes from in the intro to any jarvis johnson gold video. thank you gabi balls.
That "it's on sale now? What the FUCK" was so damned relatable.
Why yes, I do have 800 games in my steam library, why do you ask?
The Jarvis Johnson Gooooooold. Is amazing. Also isn’t there a crap tone of gold in asteroids and stuff? Why would aliens come to earth where it’s rarer?
If I remember the lore correctly, it’s that gold is even rarer on their planet
The Goooold thing is from Austin Powers: Goldmember.
@@crabinjustice Oh yeah. You right
If they're advances enough for faster than light travel, they have the technology to synthesize gold.
Who tf is Jarvis Johnson, it's from Austin Powers children
Oh sure, when ancient aliens has you experience the past lives of your ancestors to be manipulated by aliens it's ridiculous, but when Ubisoft does it, its "Assassin's Creed" and "okay, I guess"
This is the hottest take from this video lmao
Being "that guy", but to be fair, in AC, the Isa and the "Gods" might have influenced events, but most of the time Humans or Isa are still very much the ones changing history with their own hands. In fact, canonically, the digital gods get very annoyed everytime either the very human factions of Assassins or the Templars go off the reservation and do whatever the hell they want.
Most of the "ancient aliens", on the other hand, explicitly outright states that Aliens are responsible for most of the greatest feats in the Africas... because being "that guy", most ancient alien conspiracies are just diet racism because people in Africa definitely absolutely couldn't make the pyramids at all or other large structures.
To be far, Assassin’s Creed has a whole machine to justify that, while this is just hypnosis
@@Gloomdrake Abstergo says it reconstructs stuff from DNA, but who knows? It could very well be a big hypnosis machine! It's all coming together now.... :D
“Aliens enslave humanity to mine our planet for gold” is literally the premise of Battlefield Earth, a novel written by L. Ron Hubbard, which is just so fitting for an Ancient Aliens game
0:14 damn she is DIALED IN. Not messing around 😂
Sidenote, the way people see the goldfinger reference and immediately interpret it as a Jarvis reference instead is absolutely iconic. Legendary. Jarvis supremacy
I, too, thought this was pretty amusing.
Iconic that people are dumb simps for a lame pick-me CZcamsr who contributes nothing of value to society? The brain rot is strong with y’all.
@@irighteroticaI guess if you’re a dumb simp for loser circle-jerk CZcamsrs.
Tf is jarvis
Isn't that Ironman's AI? Tf does that have to do with Austin Powers?
It's less about the journey itself, and more about the Plausible Deniability credits spent along the way.
OMG we had the same tiny baby gamer Y2K butterfly dress!! I had the pink and also the blue dress. I remember them being vaguely itchy because of that weird transparent fabric layer and they also restricted any movements you’d make but overall they were a vibe
dude that picture of you playing games is so GOOD you DO look so serious
The explanation for why humans value Gold: "ooh, shiny rock! Oh, it rare..."
Also, it's really easy to work and it doesn't tarnish like basically every other metal.
@@RonParkeryup. It's pretty, it stays pretty, it's rare so FOMO kicks in, and it can be made into lots of pretty shapes. There's no way we wouldn't end up loving gold
It's also easy to heat up and mold / melt into new shapes which makes it useful for artistic expression and displays of wealth!
Literally.
most people own more gold in their electronics than as jewellery
My husband and i were OBSESSED when this game came out. The only thing that sucks was it just....stops. The end. Otherwise its such a bizarre and wild ride 10/10 would absolutely recommend
11:40 "who am i"... *continues mindless clicking*
ah yes, modern gaming
it was a good moment, very zoolander
Gabi has the "unhinged obsession" look. About the eyes from childhood video games all the way to trying to 100 percent Gordon Ramsay games now.
"Will you submit to hypnotic regression to your past life in ancient Egypt? Yes/No"
Alright. Move over, "Tap LB to throw the door at your enemies". Prostrate yourself, "Press F to pay respects".
There's a new contender for funniest prompt in a videogame.
My favorite fun fact about ancient aliens is that the narrator (not the host) voices a character in China, IL who is an ancient aliens believer trying to teach it at college and it's basically taking the piss so hard it's amazing that he's participating in it.
I'm currently in development for a PC game that kinda goes around similar ideas. The "Gods" of ancient civilizations are all actually aliens that are using humans. You start in the future and then time travel all the way back to Sumeria. You meet Gaia who is basically mother Earth and she creates all of these monsters like the hydra, kraken, werewolves, etc. It's a similar combat style to games like Diablo but also has RTS elements for building up cities. We actually emailed Giorgio to see if he would do some voice acting for us but he never got back to me lmaooo.
Sounds dope af. How can I stay in the loop?
Did you use his voice over email?
@@kuroneko334 did i do what ? lmao I don't understand the question.
Yeah, how do we stay in the loop?
Wow that's sounds sick! I wish I could play it ;)
This is one of those games that will cause you to lose IQ points for every second you play.
no way I just found out where Jarvis' intro to the GOLD channel come from 😭
buying shovelware at full price not even one week before the steam event sale starts has happened to all of us, don't sweat it
When you realize you've watched 200 gabi belle videos and weren't even subscribed the whole time, thank you gabi's mom
I love knowing I am not the only one to have found a physical copy of Ancient Aliens: the Game at Walmart
Aliens wouldn't come to Earth to mine gold, it's one of the easiest elements to find in the universe, an average sun like ours has 2.5 trillion tons of liquid gold in a layer beneath it's surface, the Oort Cloud has even more than that in the ice & rocks of it's billions of asteroids. Coming to Earth to mine gold would be like a child going out of their way to pick up a dirty sucker covered in dirt and cat hair off the ground while they're in Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory.
Yeah yeah but how many suns have free slaves on it 🤨 exactlyyyy
Many humans like gold because it’s shiny and pretty? Idk seems pretty valid, humans are weird and like things that don’t actually serve us a practical purpose for no particular reason
Ya, and its perceived value wasn't even universal. Many Native American tribes didn't value gold nearly as much, with its only real use being that it doesn't corrode and therefore can make good jewelry.
its actually is practical as it never tarnishes like other metals do.
That in itself isn't very practical tho, i mean yeah it doesn't tarnish but then again how many times is gold actually used for making some practical tool? It's used to make jewellery which themselves serve no practical purpose other than fashion and decorative purposes@@Viteaification
And it can be hammered into shapes without heat
I feel that a Chariots of the Gods strategy game would be neat. And yeah, the Plausible Deniability is an excellent idea for a mechanic, it could be a resource in so many urban fantasy settings.
The whole "you have to click to continue the text after the voice line is over" thing is basically how all Visual Novels work if you've heard of those kinda games
My jaw dropped when you read the description that they had to dig through the game files just to see the end. 10/10 sleuthing, fantastic work!
Half The Comments Here: I think we call all agree that our day is better when this person uploads a new video to this website/platform. Please make more content for us humans. I am definitely a real person and not a bot.
I once came up with this whole ass theory where our ancient ancestors were the meteor that destroyed the dinosaurs. But there was a problem with the cryogenic pods we were in, so we didn't know who we were, where we were, or what this crazy thing we were in was. Eventually, they got out of the ship and were brutalized by apes creating homeosapiens. That's why we can't find the "missing link".
I wish I could shill and get my own History Channel show... lol
i cant get over the fact that they made a game with cheaper mechanics than those games that are sometimes on the lil screens on airplanes
When do we get the hot chip video
This is literally just the game "Pharaoh" but with aliens added 😭😭 wtf
0/10: no Canadian Laser Bears, no meteor chickens, no Fork Boy, no Bella, no hippos that WUV WOO.
(and thank you for reminding to play the new AoM)
Even before you mentioned Age of Mythology, I of course noticed the first note of the theme when you put the pyramid on screen.
What an iconic game though, I still keep coming back to it (love the Norse faction!)
Mom's reminder worked. I've been watching these pure works of art for a while now, but didn't realise I wasn't subscribed all this time. They were already on my main recommendations so it never even occurred to me. Cheers!
Glad to see Gabi is still on that Ancient Aliens grind. Also, since we're on the discussion about the History Channel, I really hope Gabi would also cover Storage Wars after this. That show is lowkey pretty unhinged at times.
damn. congrats to gabi, i didn't even notice the sub count going up... i remember when it was 20K, 1M is actually in sight-- holy crap. thanks for the great videos-- you're prolly one of my favorite commentary channels (it's between you and jarvis)
it's all thanks to gabi's mom reminding people to subscribe
i swear that the day you hit 500k i was watching a video and i saw it change. i was so hyped for you. You're hilarious.
was just thinking about how i needed more ancient aliens content from you!!
I started to recognise pieces of this game as you went through and am now convinced I've played a little of it, but I have absolutely no recognition or memory of the introduction. It's so weird. Guess the aliens really did wipe my memory
3:18 why is this the way i find the origin to jarvis’ gold channel’s intro
Man how old is everyone in these comments? Nobody ever watched Austin powers?
@@HemostatSAME! I have been going through SO many comments just feeling old af wondering how no one has seen that movie lol. I kept thinking I'd see someone like me but nope just another Jarvis comment 😂
I think what makes Tsoukalos so great is the fact that he loves what he does. How many people can HONESTLY say that?
Recent subscriber here! I love your editing style and your hot takes. Genuinely your content is so fun to watch. Thank you
excited for that hot chip video, i love consuming misinformation
not the annunaki, i will never forget when i played the nancy drew game where she was helping out on an excursion in Egypt, and I was flabbergasted when Sonny Joons notes were all about aliens even in this place xD a wild trip and even wilder to realize that this actually something ppl theorize over ^^
5:00 I'm probably reading too much into it and giving the game more credit than it deserves, but this is actually super cool if done on purpose. The way the hands are position makes it look like, from our point of view, our hands are the same as the alien's hands. I just think that's neat.
Gabi is the only person who goes from talking about Tiktokification of emo music to alien game
Only five minutes in but...travel back to your past life in order to obtain answers from an ancient race in order to save the world from a upcoming world-ending event? Isn't that just the plot of the first few Assassin Creed games?
6:38 I looked back at my tv hopping he would be there when you said gold lmfaooo perfect
I remember playing this for ages on my old tablet and I’ve not been able to find it since so thank you for helping me find it again
You come off a very genuine person!
Keep up the good work! 💕
I agree with your opening for everything except for one point. 45 minutes have passed? Absolutely not I start playing at 6:00 in the afternoon and next thing you know I hear birds chirping in the morning.
But hey, you can't blame me. Baldur's Gate 3 and Dragons Dogma 2 are just too fucking good.
I'm sure hearing the Melee Character Select Screen menu music was nostalgic for many people but as someone who listens to it randomly at least once or twice a month it was more of a surprise to hear it here instead of a nostalgic thing
There’s something I just love in that’s it’s unapologetically turning into a Gordon Ramsey and Ancient Aliens channel that’s lovingly trolling them, and I’m all here for it.
I have no clue how I got here 4 seconds after its premiere, but I think it's a sign
The aliens did it
I have a theory that the ancient alians crew are just the stargate-sg1 flavour of the harry potter millenials
Man stumbling on this channel during one of the lowest times of my life was pure luck. Gordon Ramsay, ancient aliens, cringe vids, games, even throwing in a guitar once in awhile, just hitting like everything I love. Even shocked me she reacted to that old Mario Bros movie, as ridiculous as it was, I loved it as a kid. Feels like this channel was made for me and it's pretty rad.
Dude! Please do more on this show - you had me laughing
it's kinda funny to me that it takes your alien-boosted slave minotaurs longer to build a pyramid than it does in Pharaoh, an older, much more complex game where you must employ arcane alien technology such as "make sure worker houses have a well nearby" and "try to make it so laborers get to see a funny guy do a little jig on their daily commute to work"
maybe aliens just sucked at management sims? is that why we are like this?
They also had you make each colossal brick individually in pharaoh and then drag them into place in order one by one.
Some of these graphics are lifted directly from Pharaoh. I recognized the house models instantly. I always knew those attacking Nubians were after my iridium!
Just when you thought Ancient Aliens couldn't get any more ridiculous....
YES MAN PROFILE SPOTTED
@@undeadsweetheart7508Join us friend...
YOUR COMPUTER BACKROUND IS ON POINT!! IT MOVES AND IS PIXELLLL!!
I believe ur channel is like regulating my endorphins levels, tis chill content and edutainment w honesty & sympathy, thz
Gabo do the thug shake
"these are not real chapters lmao gotchuuuu" 💀💀
I finished the 2nd pyramid years ago and haven't been able to log into the game since. I figured they didn't finish developing it. Thanks for showing the ending!
😱 So, Ancient Humans learned to do SLAVERY from Aliens?!!
😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣
... native tribes in Brazil couldn't care less about gold. It's literally documented how colonizers thought they were dumb for exchanging it for objects such as mirrors. Gold digging was one of the first and major activities from colonized brazil.
SO WERE BRAZILIAN NATIVES NOT IN CONTACT WITH ALIENS???
HOW ABOUT PERU? INDIANA JONES CLEARY TELLS US ABOUT THEIR CONTACTS
Salt is way more widely valued across most cultures because it provides some nutritional value, keep food preserved, and attract animals like deer. There's lots of other uses too. Way better than gold
@@saraschu2735I mean gold is a useful metal. It doesn’t rust and it’s easy to mold. So things like electronics and medical tools (well any tools) it’s just a very easy to mold metal that doesn’t tarnish. I mean yeah for a tribe of course they don’t care about that as much as salt but it’s so funny how they just assume we think it’s pretty 😂 whole reason diamonds are popular for wedding rings isn’t because it’s the prettiest stone. It’s because it’s the hardest stone and can “last a lifetime”
@layladavis02 I wouldn't go that far as to say tribes in North and South America don't care about gold. Most groups preferred copper over gold, although I don't know as much about copper as I do salt. However salt is also highly valued in places that value gold, for example certain civilizations in Africa. Mansa Musa was famous for his gold but he also controlled lots of salt which helped secure his seat of power even after crashing the gold market when he gave too much away. Humans like gold because it's shiny and useful for sure but I think lots of folks may not know how many groups really value salt and still do. There's a reason it's on tables at restaurants and stuff. I just think salt is more interesting but I'm also an archaeologist / historian in North America where gold was and still is less of a priority for many cultures.
00:12 that pink battle dress is giving me fellow Kirby main vibes
My attention got pulled away from the video just before the fighter jet part, but that pulled me right back into the video.
Democracy can wait.
Balls
The picture of her as lil kid too cute 🥰
I love the classic Melee trance. Brings back memories of me and my old friends all tranced out, never blinking, can’t miss a single frame. Keep up the good work Gabi!
Hi guys
This brings me back to when it came out. Thats sound of collecting dna is burned in and plays during my sleep paralysis
yippee‼️
I like men
slay👏🏼💅🏼
"how could people possibly make all this" they wonder. and then it's literally just people being enslaved for their entire lives becoming extremely skilled in their craft out of being forced to
Thanks for the Goldmember reference, I lost it completely 😂
Age of Mythology has one of the best game soundtracks ever and is so underrated! Love the shoutout Gabi.
Discovering this was originally a mobile game is extra funny to me because I’ve seen physical copies of it at a Walmart or Target or something. They made a PHYSICAL release for this game.
17:01 that sound effect scared me so bad i STILL looked at my door AFTER I KNEW IT WAS FAKE😓
The goldmember clip had me howling. Also the audacity of not finding out what happens if you click no after the hypnosis 😂
Ancient man: "Gold looks like sunlight captured in the ground."
Modern man: "We love gold because aliens."
Just continue this series, you are amazing
now i finally know where the "GOOOOOLD" on jarvis johnson gold comes from
i mean at least partially
It's from the movie Austin Powers Goldmember and it's fucking hilarious