President Trump, You're Going To Have To Do The Unthinkable: Your Job
Vložit
- čas přidán 8. 09. 2024
- Trump would love to talk about anything but the coronavirus crisis, but his attempts to change the subject to Iran and immigration aren't working. #Colbert #StephenAtHome #Monologue
Subscribe To "The Late Show" Channel HERE: bit.ly/ColbertY...
For more content from "The Late Show with Stephen Colbert", click HERE: bit.ly/1AKISnR
Watch full episodes of "The Late Show" HERE: bit.ly/1Puei40
Like "The Late Show" on Facebook HERE: on. 1df139Y
Follow "The Late Show" on Twitter HERE: bit.ly/1dMzZzG
Follow "The Late Show" on Google+ HERE: bit.ly/1JlGgzw
Follow "The Late Show" on Instagram HERE: bit.ly/29wfREj
Follow "The Late Show" on Tumblr HERE: bit.ly/29DVvtR
Watch The Late Show with Stephen Colbert weeknights at 11:35 PM ET/10:35 PM CT. Only on CBS.
Get the CBS app for iPhone & iPad! Click HERE:
Get new episodes of shows you love across devices the next day, stream live TV, and watch full seasons of CBS fan favorites anytime, anywhere with CBS All Access. Try it free! bit.ly/1OQA29B
---
The Late Show with Stephen Colbert is the premier late night talk show on CBS, airing at 11:35pm EST, streaming online via CBS All Access, and delivered to the International Space Station on a USB drive taped to a weather balloon. Every night, viewers can expect: Comedy, humor, funny moments, witty interviews, celebrities, famous people, movie stars, bits, humorous celebrities doing bits, funny celebs, big group photos of every star from Hollywood, even the reclusive ones, plus also jokes.
"Some of you may die, but that’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make." - Lord Farquaad
Oh my god yes!!!!
@Quadir Mayo the muffin man?!?
@@jibrish4802 the muffin man!!!!!!
Have you noticed how often trump's people quote Lord Farquaad?😁
@@SilverStorm87 Yes, I know the Muffin Man. W-who lives on Drury Lane?
The fact that 34% of the people polled believe he responded quickly to this pandemic just goes to show you that people voting for him even if he shot someone on Fifth Avenue is not hyperbole.
Ok I'm so impressed by all the talk show hosts doing their shows at home in front of a camera. No audience. No staff with them. Just a camera. I can't imagine how hard it is to do comedy that way. Bravo and thank you!
it's called struggling comedians on youtube trying to grow their channel.
czcams.com/video/ImVmVEtrFng/video.html coronavirus in Donald Trump's
Hi
I think they're paid well enough to "suffer" through the anomaly.
@@scipioafricanus5871 "struggling comedians" you mean people with shows on T.V.? When you have a contract that hardly makes you "struggling".
Stephen don’t ever go back to the studio. Watching you with your dog, chatting to your children and hearing your wife laugh at your jokes is priceless!
It's going to be a strange re-adjustment. These late night talk show stars are really finding their stride, now, with doing it from home. I love it too. I love it - even when it's a bit clunky and awkward. I love how it's allowing their individuality to gradually manifest. It's amazing how the playing field is almost leveled by social isolation - and yet the 'professionals' are still showing why they earn their salaries. I really enjoy watching the unpaid people, on CZcams, sharing opinions and thoughts - but, under similar circumstances, it's good to see the big hosts can really hit it out of the park. The CZcams world is big enough for everybody!
I agree 👍
may i also add ... no more piano player interruptions (weird sounds, scale practicing)
his is better than the original thing
it IS good comedy and material, however we don't know if this is harder on him or not. Remember he gets plenty of in person help during the actual audience member shows. Plus audience reactions are good for checking how funny their jokes are. Of course there are CZcams comments, but CZcams viewership compared to television viewership just isn't large enough to be a good survey for a reaction take on Stephen's jokes. This whole thing might be MUCH harder on him and more stressful, it definitely seems that way for Jimmy Fallon. I also want this type of show to continue, but at the same time I don't want to wish more stress on our hard working entertainers who wish to help us get through the boredom of Quarantine.
I hope Stephen continues this trend of just randomly showing us his family just 'cause they're there and he loves them.
sammyi2505 Yes let us take more emotional manipulation from this man, the voice of his corporation.
In these lockdown times i suggest you watch the movie NETWORK (1976).
@@samsunga-pm4qq you got to be kidding me it's refreshing that he'll say the truth on TV put your big boy pants on and start listening to the evidence
Hello fans czcams.com/video/Jp8uCCmok78/video.html
@@samsunga-pm4qq You say "voice of his corporation" as if he isn't a fuckin comedian. Yeah, they have voices, they're entertainers.
“There’s more important things than living.” That has to be one of the most bizarre statements I’ve ever heard in my life.
I know ... that even beats K. Conway’s “alternative facts” statement from 3 long, torturous years ago. Look at all we’ve endured since then ...
Sounds cultist 🤔
It's like someone slowly going insane with desperation for the status quo. Too bad for them it's not coming back.
you cant make sense out of nonsense
Not to mention it should be “there are”, not “there is”. 🙄
I love Stephen in this. He got so good in working from home and he seems like he is really, enjoying himself!
Truth 😊
"There are more important things than living." Yes, that actually came out of someone's mouth.
Freely admit, when all the late night shows are back in the studio, I'm gonna miss the free wheeling reality of pets and families.
I don't think things are going to go back to the way they were the question is what's going to happen after this people aren't going to be trusting of each other at least for a while
I totally agree!!!! This is so much fun to watch!!!
Eleni 1979 oh wow!
Agree! Trevor Noah and Stephen are rocking the home environment. I don’t miss the audience at all!
Except for Fallon. I rarely watched his regular show, and now his home show is totally unbearable with his two obnoxious daughters interrupting every few seconds.
"I look forward to my children's numbers. I think I'll do better." The words of the ultimate narcissist.
We’ve reached the point in quarantine where our pets are just done with our constant affection and need some alone time
A G
You made me laugh because it's so true!
A G so true
My cat wants a divorce
They heard the news that 2 house cats caught COVID-19. Pets are social distancing now.... they don't have the money or dexterity for face masks.
Zoo animals miss people in the zoo. The zoo. Keepers are walking around the zoo so the animals dont feel too lonesome.
“Theres more important things than living” -
Americans voted for this guy!
Ar Jun I know it’s embarrassing don’t rub it in
Not I🐯
I mean, the majority of us did not vote for him. He didn't even win the popular vote. Just saying, for the record...sigh.
but, but, _her emails_
Disgusting isn't it?
"There are more important things than living!"? ... Not if you are dying.
"There are more important things than living". How many of those things can you do dead?
Colbert has really got in the groove with having no audience. Laughed a lot during this one.
“ I love planting trees” “ Did I say planting? I mean cutting them down to put up an ugly building”.
Texas Governor: "There are more important things than living."
Every Rational Human Being: "Yes, but you can't do those things if you're dead."
sassulusmagnus what’s the mortality rate again?
Life is overrated. Look around you, rocks have been around for much longer and they're doing fine!
@@zevyzevness3800 About 7% in the US based on nearly 47,000 deaths out of about 843,000 cases. I rounded up the numbers so anyone wanting to freak out over the numbers being slightly off can relax.
I see his point actually, but if he's not ready to walk the walk, he should shut his mouth. Also, he should be prepared to forego a ventilator if he gets sick. Ventilators should be for essential workers and people taking precautions only. If we make that rule, go for it!
Look up Dr. John Ioannidas, he has a fantastic interview that was recorded on the 17nth you can view here on youtube.
Self proclaimed pro-lifers: "There are more important things than living."
From pro-life to full pro-human sacrifice in less than 2 months. Must be some sort of record.
We must appease the stock market, she is angry
Diego kinda reveals that they never cared about life, they only care about money and power
The upper classes money is much more important than life!
Really has nothing to do with pro life.
Mari Posa how is it not? They don't wanna kill a micro organism that they claim is a full human but they wanna sacrifice you and your parents and your grandparents... for money.
'There are more important things than living-'
Yeah, like not dying.
I'm a native Texan..unlike Dan piece of shyte Patrick...
@DrMossydog those are parts of living, the only thing you can do, other than living, is dying. He is saying they should all die.
Lt. Dan: if it's to be or not to then I choose not to. Don't call me a hero. Just a ugh..
You got it.
Life hack: Dying so the mortician can cut your hair.
“She’s just getting hotter every year”, man isn’t that right.
"i see light at the end of the tunnel"
pls go into the light, please. dont turn back
just go into the light, please.
There are more important things than living!
You realize if Trump dies to covid-19, it could be cast as martyrdom, for being unjustly deposed by a Chinese virus, right? Not a desirable outcome.
Stephen is a 10. You'll never change my mind. His wit, humor, warmth, charisma, and humanity make him a necessary tonic in this dark, uncertain time. Funny Tolkien nerds are hot. I love Stephen and I'm so grateful for him!!
#TalkNerdyToMe 🤣🤣🤣
The dance breaks for Jared Slam was so geeky suave!! Lucky wife!
Hell yes! I'm here for all of it.. and I especially adore the Tolkien hints 😍
He's a 15 at least
I read that as “Stephen is 10” and to be fair, he has that side to him. ;)
Stephen, you finally hit your stride. You were the best tonight by far. Up until tonight it has been clear how much you miss your audience. Tonight you were ON. Thanks for making me laugh.
Don't pop the champagne yet, HA!!
I love how great America is right now, I am soooo tired of winning. So tired.
That’s gotta be the quote of the crisis “There are more important things than living”. Oh dear.
Clearly a "pro life" republican.
Leo Dragon ain’t that the truth! 😂
@@Rainyman63 Ha! Good point. Unfortunately, I feel the obvious irony would be completely lost on him...
The wording was wrong, but the content is right. We NEVER tried to save every single life by all means possible. If so we would ban alcohol, tabako, driving cars, etc etc... spend all Ressources on health care ... we do not do that. We accept death. It is and always has been a balance.... and it is absolutely right to check the balance right now
@@tiro0oO5 so, texas included, there are 45,000 plus deaths in the US so far. Now, you may make the argument that the flu kills that many plus every year. But how many would it be if we hadn't closed down? That 45,000 is WITH social distancing.
“There are more important things than living”
- Republicans
Ruirodtube That’s cool and all, however, I don’t remember asking
Unless you're a fetus
@Max Von Lowe Quit the drugs, they're clearly not good for you.
Max Von Lowe abortion is a good thing!
(Sits back and watches the triggered meth head)
@Max Von Lowe The fact that you would switch out the word "fetus" for the word "baby" just tells us you realize how wrong your position is.
Don't get me wrong, I personally think there is a degree of wrongness to getting an abortion. Eventually that fetus could become a baby. Thus, it definitely has value. Which is why if someone intentionally aborts a woman's fetus by any means against her will then they get charged with a lot more than assault on the woman.
The actual debate imo is whether the wrongness of aborting a fetus is more wrong than forcing a woman to take a fetus to term. Personally, I think democrats are on the right side of that... however, that doesn't mean republicans are completely wrong... they are just overall wrong on this issue imo.
Its fun watching Stephen when he's drunk at home.
A pure joy
@@carametz4730 True 😂 lol
czcams.com/video/GM-gzm_sOM0/video.html
FACT CHECK
GGUUIILLTTYY aammmeerrica
I just want to point out that Colbert at home is pretty damn adorable.
he seems somehow even nicer than on show
You have low standards.Wow.
Dog abuse! Kayotti smear!
Corney
If Trump sees the light, can we just all encourage him to walk towards it... lol.
Hope it's a fucking train!
@@tommymcweedface229 or muzzleflash.
Love these comments 👍. Thanks for the laugh. Be well and be safe ✌️.
Go to the light Mr Trump, go to the light.
@@xjunkxyrdxdog89 😆
Coyotes are wandering down my street and a black bear is hanging out in the playground. I live in canada in a city and this is not a joke.
Bears like to swing too, bro. Trying to live his best life.
@@kmlckd "and I'm smmmarter than the average bear"
Look BooBoo another D Trump mistake. Sorry Yogi I erred, there is no picnic basket :(
Wow crazy. I'm down here in NZ hoping to see a penguin crossing the road. (We have the signs on all beach roads), but I've never seen one in 10 years.
Yes, but have you seen a flying gunboat?
"You can't even pay the virus $130 000 to stay quiet" 😂😂😂😂😂
And sends another check ($1200) to Stormy Daniels...so who do we believe...the busty, dyed blond
or Stormy Daniels?
"There are some things more important than living." Why are people like this in a position where their decisions affect people's lives. THEY DON'T BELONG THERE! PERIOD.
So speakth the Angel of Death
They were voted in. You know what to do.
@@maxmac7845 revolution? Because our voting system sure doesn't work
@@richjordan6461 agreed. sometimes it takes more than one revolution to form a republic.
you're absolutely right!!
the problem is he thinks his only job is getting re-elected. The other problem is that's what his supporters think, too..
Odd how trump wants to get white Americans onboard with bombing the genetic/ancestral homeland of Caucasians, no?
I’m talking about Iran here...
😕
Well said 👍. Be well and be safe ✌️.
Unfortunately history had shown us inbreeding doesn't improve the intelligence of it's offspring. And most of the red States have a reputation...
He's campaigning as much as Obama did during 2012, and as much as Hilary would had she won.
Said every Democrat official as well.....
hope people see how scared all the money men are when the cash stops rolling in. They want you back at work making money for THEM even if it kills YOU wake up america!
It is not just the rich who want people to return to work.
There are probably many who want to get money so they can buy food.
Creating the worst depression in 100 years is not so good. All this to save some lives that are so few that it will not even appear as a deviation in the death statistics.
Those who are really rich are the ones who will get the best out of this and the middle class will lose the most.
@@niklasmolen4753 Kinda makes you wish there was some system in place to allow people to be unemployed for a few months without starving to death, so they didn't have to risk the health and safety of themselves and others, doesn't it?
Check this out! Michael Moore's latest documentary on just how the billionaires are uniting, have been for decades, against us and our planet, all so they can capitalize upon ours, and the planets deaths! Stay safe and smart everyone! czcams.com/video/Zk11vI-7czE/video.html
@@niklasmolen4753 The wealthy have more to lose by us staying isolated and not working. Check out the latest documentary about how the billionaires have been working against us and the planet for decades!
czcams.com/video/Zk11vI-7czE/video.html
@Rich Greene the land of rampant greed and conspicuous consumption.
*OK, THIS WAS ONE OF HIS BEST MONOLOGUES EVER!*
"There are things more important than living"... yes you actually heard that from the repuglican't LT Governor of Tex-ass... if dying is more important than living then he should personally prove it and please show it on TV
I had to replay that bit 4 times to make sure I heard it correctly.
I adore Stephen's total lack of control over his spaniel!
I would encourage him to go into the light.
Lol! Yes .
“Now you have to leave, you can’t just chew on the electrical cords” is something America should tell Trump
Sounds like when trump visits a covid patient
"You wroooonnngg!" Donnie-the-dotard just claps back at you bro. lol
Are you kidding?
We WANT him to chew on electrical cords...
Hopefully something high voltage
Agwasim Emmanuel MUSH TRUMP MUSH
Based on the negative psychology principle, yes Trump should definitely be advised not to chew on electrical cables..
Can't ever call themselves the Pro Life party again.
John Taylor joke went right over ur head
no, you misunderstand. This is all God's will, that's why Trump can't be blamed...
Robert E Since most were for the death penalty, that title was already on pretty shaky ground.
Oh, that's what they always meant. "Live to work for us!" Pro, as in professional.
They shouldn't have been before. They are pro war, Pro gun, pro death penalty, Anti healthcare, anti science, violent lunatics.
Social distancing works and it saves countless lives. If you're not doing your part then you're only making it worse for everyone. Don't go around potentially harming other people!
Opus 313 please, tell this to my neighbors, who think this one big party and social engagement.
Correct, but with the caveat that it’s actually “physical distancing” ...
Social distancing is what we already had with social media.
🤣🤣🤣
"But the government is taking away my rights when our county judge forbade any children under 14 from entering stores! No one has the right to parent my kids! REVOLUCION!" - Some lady on Twitter when I asked her what rights were being violated by quarantine rules.
@@Droemar how about work so we can pay for the house we live in, the food we eat. Do you have a job that let people go because they were told to close up?
“There are more important things than living” well, i don’t know. Anyone who’s stopped living hasn’t gotten back to us yet about all the other great things they’ve been up to since.
Hehehehe 🤗👌
That entire comment needs to be a either a meme or a t-shirt
UNLESS LT. GOV. DAN PATRICK issss that 🤔😲😱...nvm nvm nvm let's not. Im still laughing at this comment 😅 thank you.
I love the effect that quarantine has had on the earth. This is the perfect lesson and opportunity to understand what measures we need to take to address climate change as a global society. Current pollution levels need to be our baseline expectation.
Sadly, once this crisis passes we'll be at it twice as hard to "make up for lost time". :/
@@qevvy Vote blue, and change will come.
I thought the human influence was minor on climate and co2 emissions...#sarcasm
It will have literally no effect. People don't care and will willfully forget about climate change the second this is over. Not right, just how it is.
@4 MORE YEARS ! no, but at least educated individuals know when to use "their," "there," and "they're"
He's wearing a suit, she's wearing hose and heels, and we're supposed to believe they're planting a tree larger than they could lift by shoveling a little dirt in one side of its hole?
I sure don't. I didn't like Bush as a President, but he at least knew how to run a chain saw (when you own rural property, clearing brush is important from time to time).
When a tree-planting is staged for the media, and big-name participants are involved, their limited contributions are largely symbolic. It's a common human ritual display, similar to a ribbon-cutting. Nearby community members do the bulk of the work. Humans are weird.
"You can't get Mitch McConnell to have 51 Republicans vote that there is no virus." HAHAHAHAHA
Well he COULD. It wouldn't make it the truth, but since when has that ever concerned him? His supporters are already claiming there is no pandemic.
Andreas August Gebauer u know what u are absolutely RIGHT and how SAD is that and blame Democrats for holding up for small business funds then he finally gets his morons vote on it goes out and takes ALL the credit!!
Republicans are suddenly not that "pro-life" at all when big corporations and the rich are losing money.
those hypocrites suddenly get revelation and become pro choice lol
What part of this do you not understand. Republicans are "pro life" about fetuses. Once the fetus is born, they could not care less about humans.
@@mediaaccount167 Peanut M&M from The View would dislike you very much. 🤣🥜
They don't actually care about children....they just get off on the control they can have over a woman's body .
@Timothy McCaskey Speaking of Evangelicals...and morons
czcams.com/video/WMb7BQpCnPw/video.html
Weird, I’ve never seen him so genuinely happy and natural as he is these days. Enjoying it more than the normal huge set and high production value.
Its much better without all the distractions!
It'll feel odd when the crowd returns. If not feel worse.
Trump or steve lol
Love that Stephen’s lovely wife is there .. he feeds off her laughter
Yea
reminds me of Mrs Columbo... :-D
I like how DeBlasio's ASL interpreter looked like he was acting out a scene from a Broadway musical.
"There are more important things than living". Wow, just wow
00:48 the way that puma was looking at the buildings, you can tell she's thinking: WTF is all this!?
people cages :)
The puma was actually being followed and it was cornered, it ended up jumping over that fence
🤣😂
"There are more important things than living."
Excuse me, what?
Wait, thats illegal...
The stock market duh!
that's not a surprise.. its the way they think about there own soldiers
”You can’t call Ukraine to get dirt on Hunter Virus”
That one broke me!
Johan Andersson - you made my day
5:44 "Or get Mitch McConell to have 51 republicans vote that there is no virus."
You sure about that one?
Even without an audience, Stephen is HILARIOUS!! Also loved seeing the guest appearance of his adorable doggie!! Btw as a Texan, I’m embarrassed to say that idiot is our Lt Gov. “there are more important things than living”??!!! WOW!!!
The wild snuggle spaniel has soothed my weary soul.
That spaniel did not want to snuggle - that spaniel wanted to get back down to chew cables.
Did he just say "there are more important things than living?" For who, exactly?
“Why don’t you come over and slap him around a bit. There’s a fiver in it for ya” I literally almost died 😂
I haven't laughed that hard in a while. I needed that.
glad you're still here
I think that may be one his best jokes in a minute.
Hysterical!
Update from New Zealand here: After 4 weeks and two days of lock down, we've had a total of about 1400 cases, of which 3 came today. Total deaths, 16 (the bastard virus got into a rest home and took 8 or 9 elderly people with previous health issues). After this week, the govt may allow restaurants to open drive-thrus and online delivery options, but level 3 still maintains a level of "if you're non-essential, you're not going anywhere."
Our economy has suffered, but it will return in time. The dead do not.
well done :) 3 cases in an entire country! & how many tests did you do today? Probably more tests to find those 3 cases than were done in all of America to find their 6,000 odd cases today
Next door in Oz, we had 12 cases today & 1 death (another from that nursing home where the staff member with the virus worked 6 shifts without realising she was sick), 6,500 odd cases total & 73 deaths, again mostly nursing homes & also that dam cruise ship! Which has FINALLY left :)))))))))))
I can't wait to get this virus eradicate from our little bubble & open all the borders within our little corner of the world so we can all share in person our hard earned accomplishments on this virus - and of course doing that will help kickstart the economies in both countries again, well before the rest of the world will be ready to consider serious economic recovery - cause that's what working hard to control the virus does to the economy, it supports it long term!
btw what are you going to do when America wants to start filming various major productions in your country again? Cause you're going to be the number 1 location in demand for filming, with no virus & so the ability to film without social distancing requirements. I guess maybe they might just need to send the scripts & have Kiwis (and maybe some Aussies) as the entire cast & crew for all Hollywood productions for the next few years. That alone will give your economy full recovery :)) You're the new Hollywood!
Wow that is a low amount of cases. I pray we make it through with lower numbers any loss is to great to endure.
@@lilaclizard4504 Total tests today were 6,480. Number of recovered cases 1,065, meaning a little over 380 known cases still have it, with 8 in hospital. And I have a good number of friends in Australia who I was supposed to visit next week, so I indeed look forwards to being able to travel over there once both countries have been swept clean of this monster. Still, 5 days of level 4 lockdown to go, then at least 2 weeks of level 3 (which allows a few more places to open, like fast food drive thrus) And then the government will decide whether to lower it further. They're EXTREMELY worried about the second wave, and are trying to prevent it.
raptormaster666 because New Zealand has a government that thinks!
He sees the light? Quick someone tell him to "Go into the light..." 😂😂😂
The sooner the better😂😂😂
Half expected him to say "I see lots of light, I also smell burnt toast. Anyone smell burnt toast?"
Lt. Governor: "there are more important things than living"
Mexico : " I'll pay for the goddamn wall, just f***ing build it"
Lmfao..well said amigo
Admittedly, some of it was built. It just fell down when a wind blew past. What shocked me was not that the wall fell, but that it was more hole than wall and yet it was a breeze that took it down. 😐🤣😶
@@jaggerra7 ~ And trees held it up. Can't have been much. I wonder where the billions are going if not into quality wall? Hmmm ....
Thank for our neighbor Mexico's comment. That was really really funny. Stay safe buddy.
I vote for a wall to protect the U.S. from us, Canadians, too!
*"There are more important things than living!"*
I agree...not to die prematurely would be one of them.
Just not dying is not good enough. I want to _live._ I get the joke, but really, it's ironic because the truth is the opposite.
You made me snort with laughter involuntarily.
There's something just human about him stopping everything to snuggle and pet his dog for wayyyy too long lol!!
His pup did not want to be bothered. LOL!!
“There are more important things than living” Yikes!
Well, your living!
May your name apply to the entire world 🙏
Humans: This quarantine sucks
Pets: OMG YES HIIII
That describes many dogs, but my cat misses her alone time.
ILuvAyeAye I have 4 cats and 2 dogs. They are all loving that they have company. They still have hidey holes for being alone.
April is here. Trump hasn't disappeared yet! Awww... shucks... I had such high hopes!
I know, I thought he'd disappear in the warm weather
its weird how used to this show format ive gotten. i kinda love how theres no crowd, leaves me to decide to laugh or not
It took me a while, but it does feel more intimate...lime we're just buddies hanging in his attic..
I'm pretty sure this is the best monologue he's ever done. He's on fire.
Harry S Truman famously had a sign on his desk that read "The buck stops here!". That's the job. Trump has one saying "The buck stops everywhere else".
"There are more important things than living." Huh? Really? So happy I don't live in Texas
Yeah, I did a double-take on that one too. Actually, he's right. There is a small list of things more important than living: Protecting the people you love, protecting your country, saving the lives of strangers, you could make a case for all of those. Getting a professional haircut and keeping the PlayPlace at the local McDonald's open are not among those things.
Susann Jarvis I live in Texas. This state is run by morons. I’m near Dallas where the politicians aren’t so bad.
@@lollylolly8186 Texan here, too. I'm pretty hopeful that the voters who were energized by Beto O'Roark in 2018 have stayed tuned in, are watching the level of political quackery by Gov. Abbott and his corrupt band of morons, and will turn out again in force, along with the many disaffected independent voters to turn out every R from office so we can join the 21st century and ruin the pig-eyed, fish-lipped vagrant in the White House's electoral college chances, as well!
For this idiot making money is more important than living, but if you're dead, that's a little difficult to do.
There are two key factors in how quickly Covid 19 spreads.
1. How dense the population is.
2. How dense, the population is.
Oh, the protestors are pretty dense. As in thick-headed.
Ooohh snap
That was some deep shit
You seem so much more relaxed and funnier now… I’m happy for the shift. I always love your intellectual, smart humor and interesting takes on events… Especially Quarantinewhile…
"There are more important things than living". Only in America, and specifically Texas!! That has to be the quote of the week, surely.
Despite what people think, there are a lot of different people in Texas. I live in TX and I definitely don't agree with the prick LT Gov or our Gov. There are 29 million people in TX and despite it being a Red state, there are a lot of cultures here that don't agree with the politics and the way some people think and act about this state. There is always good and bad everywhere you go and right now we are seeing where the bad is clearly!
Some things are worth dying for and each individual has to decide what that is for themselves.
I can understand how staying alive no matter the cost can be a very immoral thing to do.
Can anyone think of a time when death is the noble ane moral thing to do...falling on a hand grenade to save other lives or Jesus on the cross? (I'm not Christian but know people who believe think it was a good sacrifice.)
Think people...sometime dying is preferable and even if it is not preferable, it is inevitable whether we like it or not.
The Jared slam was the funniest thing I’ve seen in a long time.
In a ProPublica story about Jared's dad's $2.5 million donation to Harvard shortly ahead of Harvard accepting Jared, administrators at his high school "described him as a less than stellar student and expressed dismay at Harvard's decision."
@@dectric9087 Thank you. Did not know and very important. He's also in charge of our lives now.
If only our 'enemy' was unseen, but he keeps giving tv speeches.
He used that term because he couldn't remember Covid-19...
@@consumerofbeer1716 Oh, if only we could de-monetize Drumpf...
Hey BooBoo another D Trump mistake. Sorry Yogi
@@consumerofbeer1716 Every country had the same information from the CCP and WHO. Many acted with the skepticism that should have already been understood due to the incidents you already mentioned and more. Everyone told Trump not to trust Xi Jinping and all of the other dictators he writes love letters to, but now he pretends to be caught off guard when when they back stab us like everyone knew they inevitably would. Our own intelligence warned him about this. He should start listening to them instead of pretending like he knows how to wheel and deal with authoritarian countries.
@@consumerofbeer1716 Summary: Closed authoritarian regimes doing what they've consistently done for the last century does not excuse Trump's incompetent response.
Did I really hear that Texas Lt. Gov say “there are more important things than living”... 🧐
Yes. Yes you did. And I'm hearing the political ads now when he's up for reelection after the coronavirus devastates my state, especially those little towns that voted for this guy in overwhelming numbers after the disease makes its way from the cities to them.
Yes he did and also said that we need to make these sacrifices for our children & grandchildren. I say put your children and grandchildren or yourself out there first...try the public protest & then in say several weeks or so we will follow....LOL!! YOU FIRST.
Easy to say when he's not making any of those SACRIFICES that he (and you) want regular people to make, tho. Walk the talk or get ready to be dogpiled.
@SpectroMan ~ Sadly, as more is being discovered abt this virus, it's leaving a lot of damage behind. Even some ppl who weren't feeling bad enough to seek healthcare have some not insignificant damage. We just don't know enough yet whether they'll eventually heal, or if it's permanent.
Better than the mayor or Los vagas who wanted to make her citizens a "control group" on CNN with the Cooper guy.
As a proud Texan, I publicly apologize for that “man” we wrongly elected to Lieutenant governor
I mean technically you didn't elect him if he the Lieutenant Governor, right?
He was just kind of a package deal with whoever was running for Govenor?
@@DonaldWWitt When you vote for governor you vote for LT
Mayor De Blasio's sign language translator must have had his earbuds in, listening to his favorite band. He was rocking out while signing.
"There are more important things than living!"
Hard to run a business from a casket, though.
Fake News! I saw a documentary about a very successful businessman from the afterlife named Bettleguy, or something like that, you know what I am talking about. Everyone loves and respects Bettleman. If you hate Spectral Murika then you can move to Spectral Venezuela ghost commie!
This is either badly cut by the late show, or badly presented by the governor. 17 deaths per million is doing relatively well. Sweden gladly tolerates over 150 per million without much of a lockdown. But those figures aren't the most important factor right now.
What matters is the plan to get millions of people back to work, with reasonable safety, while ensuring the thousands of infected people are properly cared for, isolated, and traced quickly. That's not an unreasonable goal to aim for.
I'm reminded of a different line from the captain in Wall-E - "I don't want to survive, I want to live!".
This might come to you as surprise but here in europe, because of tax regulations, dead folks are quite busy stock holders and running companies.
Remember: Las Vegas Casinos are just Cruise Ships that don't go anywhere.
Anyone feel like taking a cruise right now?
The guy doing sign language, I can't tell if he's actually doing his job or making fun of the politicians 🤣😂
Shaheen Ahmad He could be doing both!
My sign language is a little rusty,...but I think he said,..."GOD HELP US,...THESE GUYS ARE GONNA KILL US ALL !!!!!"
He's never worked a day in his life, why should he start now?
@Loneamaruq Fake News Comment
@Loneamaruq This is such a weird argument u are having here lone.. The world isn't perfect, so everything is permited.. Presidents shouldn't be held to higher standards then the rest of us. Everyone who doesn't agree with ur worldview is a liar, or jealous. His worst qualities is rich, powerful and safe? I have never heard that as the worst.. Egomaniac, irresponsible, lazy, ignorant, discriminating, incompetent, compulsive liar, con-man, and obsessed with taking credit for things he hasn't done. Those are the worst qualities most people think, not only in the US, but in the world. This is such a weird thing to see happen from an outsiders perspective. U have had horrible presidents before, but I don't think I have seen such a blind devotion to someone because of a celebrity status. Maybe it makes things seem more unreal, and more emotional-based when it is a reality star that runs the white house. I mean, many of us wants the Tiger King out of jail, even do what he did was absolutely insane at the end. Simply because we feel empathy to a man. that seems to had the whole worlds against him. I like to think it comes from kindness, that supporters can give so many chances to a man that repeatly screws it up. It could also be that we don't want to have presidents that sets a higher bar for public office. There are now so many weirdoes in politics, that for a few years ago wouldn't have a chance to be elected. But now it really is a "anyone can be a president" vibe, and bigger the spectacle, the better. In some way, entertaintment has merged with politics. And I don't think Trump did that unintentionaly.. He once said "Think of my presidency as episodes, where I take down my opponents". His presidency was (and is) all about attention and publicity.. In that regard, he wins, and ur country looses. That might also be why he has such passionate fans. He seems to shake the system, and win the battles he finds important. To bad that none of the things he wins, does anyone else then him any good. And the systems he shakes, are the once in place for the welfare of ur country. This is a behavior unfitting for anyone in public service.. Stading to close to a elephant makes u see only the color grey. But taking a step back, and ask u self "cui bono?" may show the animal's true form... Now I need to go to bed. Good night Lone.
"Turns out the best present for Earth Day is the same as the best present for Mother's Day: time away from her children."
Buahahah, ded!
I think i like the show better like this. Steve is more relaxed, a little silly, and fun i would totally watch it.
He should keep these up at least one a week after lockdown.
My Mom was a mental health social worker. When I was a kid she would sometimes take me with her to visit patients in a mental hospital. Trump's 'speeches' remind me of the fellow babbling in the corner of the ward with a dribble of drool running from the side of his mouth.
dolceanstar wow what was your mom thinking? My mom had the same job but never took me to work with her because it was dangerous sometimes. I went to the hospital with her but stayed in visitor sections. She did tell me horror stories though lol
🤣🤣🤣
He loves his children...even Melania's child. She has a child...I think he forgot it was his though.
Dave Goodwin maybe it’s NOT HIS KID🤔wouldn’t that be a kicker if the kid was from .....THE MEXICAN GARDENER😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
I’m surprised he didn’t say he knows everything about trees lol
Carlos Santana either that or “I know the best tree people, they can do things with a tree you’ve never even imagined”
These trees are tremendous.
"No one's planted as many trees as me, not a lot of people know that. I plant the best trees, tremendous trees, beautiful trees. Almost as beautiful as my daughter Ivanka."
Trump: I only like the biggest, healthiest wild trees. I don't like trees that are tamed, growing in rows and giving fruit...
He's A Moron. From the start he tried to pass off the Pandemic crisis off to Pence so he could blame Pence if this thing failed.....until he found out he could use this platform to conduct campaign rallies where he has been proven to be a complete Moron...lying...Blaming others and attacking Reporters and Governors.
With THAT simple statement “There are more important things then LIVING.” You NOW can all understand why there will NEVER be universal healthcare for all citizens in this once great country. Blame the rePIGlicans.
Do Americans know you can be politically in the middle? Just be a bit Left where it matters... like in health-care and education. It's worked in all the best countries in the world.
@@leevancleef553 No, they don't. It's all or nothing with us.
@@leevancleef553 There used to be compromise in our country, but then the Republicans weren't doing so well, and one of their chief strategists decided that rather than trying to move to more popular positions they should double down on party unity, refuse to compromise on anything, and then blame everything that happened (or didn't happen) as a result of that on their opponents. Because of that, things have been so polarized that any conservative who doesn't fully buy in to rejecting everything the Democrats want won't be accepted by Republican voters, and thus can't function.
That strategy, combined with a lot of other ways of playing the system rather than operating in good faith, such as gerrymandering and efforts to suppress voter turnout, is the only thing keeping the Republican party as it exists now afloat.
Drift Wisp wow. The fall of AMERICAN politics summed up in two fucking paragraphs. Well done and sad state of affairs.
@@driftwisp2797 In Australia even our most right wing parties have sensible leftist policies and vice versa. Hope we don't get where you guys are because all our parties have a left hand and a right hand.
*-"Or Get Mitch McConnell to have 51 Republicans vote there is no virus". So genius and so true.*
“Snap a photo of an offending person or crowd, set the location on the image, and text it to 311-692”. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂. Comedy gold!!!!!!
I'd be honored if some Colbert fans who appreciate late 70s/early 80s groove classics would take a listen to my acoustic piano & vocal performances of WHAT A FOOL BELIEVES by Michael McDonald, SEPTEMBER by Earth Wind & Fire, and JOSIE by Steely Dan on YT channel in tribute to the masters of the era. Live acoustic with no autotune or digital editing. Peace and everybody stay safe.
@@willritter4076 begging for views in a reply to a comment on a video that has nothing to do with music? C'mon man...
Monologues are so smooth when there is no audience XD
I love no audience!!!
"I see light at the end of the tunnel" PLEASE - for the sake of the rest of us GO INTO THE LIGHT!!!! 👻👿😈
Hahahaha
James T That is a good one ! ☝🏻 🤣
Brilliant
Yeah!🤣🤣🤣
Hearing Donald Trump sing "A Whole New World" is incredibly scarring.
Until I made it to that part of the video I was 100% convinced it was the real Trump.
some one did him doing a 2000's emo song it was better
czcams.com/video/l61nO1LQ3Hg/video.html Donald Trump’s Speeches as an Emo Song this one lol
@@coryryder9070 Someone also did a spoof skit of him last year with Fiona Apple's "Criminal" song.
Trump: Harvard's gonna pay back that money.
Me: You mean like how Mexico was supposed to pay for that "wall" ?
Digging deep holes in the ground with a shovel is starting to give Melania some strange and devious ideas.
Rick I support that and will help if needed .
She just would like to help her husband walk into those lights of his faster.....
The Trump's don't do landscaping! They look weird digging holes and planting in a suit and 6 inch heels. They can't get a photo op right.
DO IT Mel!!!
Ella Mone It’s true, so awkward. Melanie hasn’t looked like she belongs anywhere since the fur photo shoot.
“There are more important things than living”, pardon me but wtf
yup
You have to read between the lines. There are things more important TO ME than YOU living.
What's the price of a human life? Apparently that is quantifiable now.
....said the politician whose affiliation is with the party that touts pro-life.
I guess it depends whether you are a living being or not. But then, nothing is important to inanimate objects anyway.
"We continue to gain ground,........to bury more bodies."
1:17 The Wild Snuggle Spaniel ❤❤❤😁😁😁 scavenging for smoochies. 😂😂😂
Bring back the dog for each show, and I'll watch this again and again.
6:15 - Donald Trump: "I see light at the end of the [ch...] tunnel..."
Everyone else: "GO INTO THE LIGHT MR TRUMP!!!"
Bahahaha!!! I actually did say that. 😂😂😂
@@Wytch1 me too! Then go!!
Exactly like the light at the end of the tunnel in vietnam 😂😂
That light could actually be an incoming train.
Anyone who thinks “There are more important things than living” needs to be carefully watched by his loved ones. Seriously!
That assumes he has any loved ones.
He keeps qualifying that statement with "I don't wanna die." So this wiseguy's willing to put everybody else's health & wealth up for collateral to save the skin he put in the political game.
Yeah, no. He's not talking about HIS life, he's talking about OURS. He's not suicidal, he's homicidal.
This is the type of person we reward. smh. That we let handle a lot of wealth. People, we need to wake up. We do not have to agree to their rules. This is our economy too. We get a say.
@@charlidog2 Agreed, placing no value on human safety or life makes you a heartless murderer, in theory or in action. Human life is our greatest gift, don't toss it away over money, which has NO inherent worth other than what we assign to it.
"CC: Jafar." I lost it right then and there. Well-played, Stephen. Well-PLAYED!!
To trump work means golfing and bragging how great he think he is.
@Ana Martins And cheating at golf, too.