The [not so] Glamorous Life of Wives of Diplomats. | Nicole Nasr | TEDxLSE

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  • čas přidán 17. 05. 2018
  • Psychologist Nicole Nasr explores the real experience of being the Wife of a Diplomat across diplomatic assignments. In her talk, she raises awareness on the different roles wives of diplomats occupy when assisting their husbands and their centrality in regards to the profession. In an attempt to help the audience think about these women, she asks a series of questions focusing on the impact of being a 21st century women in diplomatic assignments and the effects of these multiple relocations. Nicole Nasr is a 26 year-old student who is
    conducting her Doctorate in Counselling Psychology
    at City, University of London. She is currently working
    with clients both at UCLH and Altum Health Clinic,
    and finishing her degree as a third year trainee. Nicole
    decided to focus her doctoral thesis on Wives of
    Diplomats and decided to explore how their
    experience shapes how they feel about themselves
    and their relationships across diplomatic
    assignments. Nicole is very interested in feminist
    issues that tend to put women in a background
    position. She has been inspired throughout her life by strong women who have had an impact on her life, both as an individual and a professional. Also, coming from Lebanese parents and having lived in Montreal, Beirut and London, Nicole is very interested in understanding how short-term and long-term immigration impacts people’s lives. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx

Komentáře • 92

  • @blueberries4771
    @blueberries4771 Před 4 lety +393

    I dont want to be wife of diplomat,i want to be diplomat itself,wish me luck :")

  • @SofiaDeBom
    @SofiaDeBom Před 4 lety +359

    I’m definitely showing this to my husband one day if I have one. He will be the husband of a diplomat (I’m really positive about it)

    • @alisonporras7753
      @alisonporras7753 Před 4 lety +11

      Same, girl.

    • @shaolinaguha1547
      @shaolinaguha1547 Před 4 lety +10

      Cake & Tea hey...... I also find the job of a diplomat cool..but isn't it difficult when you have a male spouse who can't find a suitable job abroad and thereby both starts living apart for the entire years of service... great loss to one's personal life

    • @charusahu5961
      @charusahu5961 Před 3 lety +4

      I really hope you don't have to go through a long distance relationship.

    • @ambiliramachandran5739
      @ambiliramachandran5739 Před 3 lety

      Same Sis

    • @dreamyhayan670
      @dreamyhayan670 Před 3 lety

      Same here

  • @tomohiroharada336
    @tomohiroharada336 Před 5 lety +102

    Great insight. My wife just became a diplomat for one of the European countries, and by the time I finish my PhD, we will be heading out to her first mission. More and more women are becoming diplomats around the world and I wouldn't be surprised if there is a transformation now as gender streotyping is beginning to crack and social infrastructure surrounding diplomatic networks will have to adopt to this new reality. Let's see what happens...

    • @sophiapatriot112
      @sophiapatriot112 Před 2 lety +1

      Perhaps I will be in your wife’s position. Wondering what goes through the man’s mind.
      I hope your experience has been an amazing journey.

  • @melanieb1622
    @melanieb1622 Před 4 lety +81

    I myself am a junior diplomat. When I was doing my Masters thesis, I interviewed an Ambassador in Brussels and I will never forget what he told me: "If you want to become involved in diplomacy, you have to choose: marriage or a career". At first I thought he was being sexist, as I am a woman. But then he added that he never married as he could never sustain a relationship. Today, this is a topic that does come up between me and my coworkers. If I weren't a diplomat, I absolutely wouldn't want to marry someone in this profession - I'd run the other way. As a student I was also friends with the daughter of a diplomat who grew up in several countries and studied in various international schools. While this was of great benefit to her, I was deeply saddened when I found out for the first time that diplomats' spouses (never mind just the wives, although I'm sure they form the majority) aren't allowed their own career.

    • @StudyJQ
      @StudyJQ Před rokem

      Melanie can you tell me? is it possible that a diplomates wife can do work from there mother country after marriage with her forginer husband?
      Actually my friend is from India and wants to marry the French girl and she is doctor there .
      So after marriage can she will be able to do work from her mother country or she have to leave the work and go with her Indian diplomat husband??
      Because here in India it's a rule that if you marry to a forginer than He/ She have to take Indian citizenship...
      Please guide me????

    • @GbemisolaOluwasina
      @GbemisolaOluwasina Před 6 měsíci

      Diplomats are basically another set of travelling ministers.

  • @pratapsinghkanishk
    @pratapsinghkanishk Před 4 lety +101

    This makes me sad as I want to be a diplomat. I always thought that what a great job it is to travel the world, meet new people, understand different cultures. What I failed to imagine was the aspect of family life.

    • @ketihawk5544
      @ketihawk5544 Před 3 lety +29

      No it's really fine. I'm almost 17 and have been traveling the world my whole life because my dad is a diplomat. My mom would work as a teacher at the international school or sometimes works at the embassy too. It's actually a great family life style because then the kid grows up with a diverse better understanding of the world.

    • @StudyJQ
      @StudyJQ Před rokem +1

      @@ketihawk5544 keti can you tell me? is it possible that a diplomates wife can do work from there mother country after marriage with her forginer husband?
      Actually my friend is from India and wants to marry the French girl and she is doctor there .
      So after marriage can she will be able to do work from her mother country or she have to leave the work and go with her Indian diplomat husband??
      Because here in India it's a rule that if you marry to a forginer than He/ She have to take Indian citizenship...
      Please guide me????

    • @jeonjungkook5565
      @jeonjungkook5565 Před rokem

      GOD SAME

  • @jonathanhonggono333
    @jonathanhonggono333 Před 5 lety +105

    I really want to work for my country in this kind of field, wish me luck , an 8th grader from the republic of Indonesia!

    • @ferdinand.bumpliz
      @ferdinand.bumpliz Před 4 lety +8

      Amen to that, hope we can meet in this career someday! a 12th grader also from indonesia

    • @jessicazhang8075
      @jessicazhang8075 Před 4 lety +3

      I wish to work in this field as well! It seems we’re quite similar as I’m also an 8th grader :)

    • @smiley_fuzzypants6821
      @smiley_fuzzypants6821 Před 3 lety +2

      Same I’m a 11th grader right now, wish all you guys luck.

    • @liv5527
      @liv5527 Před 3 lety

      I don't wanna be the wife of an diplomatic. ✨I wanna be the diplomatic ✨

    • @partigianoliberal
      @partigianoliberal Před 3 lety

      Good luck man!

  • @susmitamal4329
    @susmitamal4329 Před 5 lety +8

    Beautiful.. it was.. the way she spoke it all.. just felt out of her heart

  • @TXGRunner
    @TXGRunner Před 6 lety +36

    Rules differ with different foreign services. In the US foreign service, there is no prohibition against earning money. In fact, the US Department of State goes to great lengths to help spouses find employment. Granted, a spouse may not be able to pursue their chosen profession. Worse, because US diplomats relocate frequently, spouses frequently can't rise very high within an organization because they simply are not going to be in one place very long. In the US Foreign Service, many spouses are employed by the embassy in supporting roles. In some cases, spouses are able to also become a foreign service officer.
    One other point is the assumption the wife is the spouse who is not a foreign service officer. I know one man, a teacher by education, who was the husband of a diplomat. It happens.
    I appreciate I am nitpicking, as everything else you said sounds quite right and well delivered.

  • @sarahferry4879
    @sarahferry4879 Před 4 lety +13

    Deep closing note, wives are the essence and the seeds of every families.

  • @pinguinobc
    @pinguinobc Před 5 lety +51

    I have to agree with a couple other comments here: not all spouses of diplomats are women. A more inclusive talk would have discussed the challenges face by both wives and husbands of diplomats.

  • @abhaysr3091
    @abhaysr3091 Před 2 lety +5

    Now watch the entire video again but imagine whatever she says, she says without a tone. You will realise this is one of the best job in the world. You attitude decides your life.

  • @notsodiplomaticwife
    @notsodiplomaticwife Před 5 lety +5

    Im really happy and proud you are talking about this topic...thank you so much for speaking about this!!!

  • @madhumitaathaley551
    @madhumitaathaley551 Před 3 lety +3

    This was a really good talk, enjoyed it.

  • @arunavasarkar3600
    @arunavasarkar3600 Před 6 lety +15

    This was a truly amazing talk. Thank You. Nicole.

  • @himanshusaxena3319
    @himanshusaxena3319 Před 5 lety +2

    Amazing talk.....

  • @mrsertech
    @mrsertech Před 3 lety +4

    Ambassadors are not the only diplomats: a US Embassy and Consulates in a large foreign country will staff up to 100 diplomats working under the Ambassador. The overseas living of the wives of those diplomats are totally unlike that described by the speaker and much more like that of a wife of a US businessman living abroad.

  • @cruisekaushik9981
    @cruisekaushik9981 Před 5 lety +26

    Being a wife of any officer be it a fouji, a diplo or any other . Wives play a greater role than their husbands

  • @kassrripples3659
    @kassrripples3659 Před 4 lety +2

    Looking for information
    on trailing spouses (I’m a wife, but spouses in general) and trailing children of international workers... we are in the USA on a E3 visa. I am the dependent spouse. Our children are dependent children of a E3 visa holder. There is a unique discussion to be had about our experience. Diplomats have a different experience.

  • @succmymeme572
    @succmymeme572 Před 4 lety +3

    She is beautiful

  • @nitishsrivastava8940
    @nitishsrivastava8940 Před 5 lety +18

    She is beautiful....

  • @faezaharhan797
    @faezaharhan797 Před měsícem

    Most of it is about making the right decisions

  • @eddieibarra356
    @eddieibarra356 Před 11 měsíci +1

    I always wanted to be a diplomat so I could live in different parts of the world.

  • @misoj2897
    @misoj2897 Před 2 lety +2

    what happens to the husbands of diplomat i'm curious for my other half

  • @theafricanboss
    @theafricanboss Před 5 lety +84

    Husbands of diplomats are the most bored of all. I know from experience

    • @bhoomikasharma4551
      @bhoomikasharma4551 Před 3 lety +1

      @Dr Nicole NasrI'm a teenager and I'm interested in the same topic as you are and want to discuss few more informations with you. Can I have any means of communication with you via emails or any of the other platform?? have a good day.😇

    • @MrMarcos635
      @MrMarcos635 Před 2 měsíci

      Why?

    • @theafricanboss
      @theafricanboss Před 2 měsíci +1

      @@MrMarcos635Since spouses are not allowed to work, he just hangs there and if they are old and kids are gone or they don't have any, he can't even be a stay at home dad, just a stay at home person alone taking on hobbies, etc to keep busy. Hard to keep that lifestyle for years when you're not retired.

  • @poochyoreo
    @poochyoreo Před rokem +3

    I will be diplomat one day ...i promised myself

  • @ykivikram
    @ykivikram Před 3 lety +5

    I hope my would be wife will understand this.

    • @fivegkills6111
      @fivegkills6111 Před 3 lety

      Then you'll have to marry a less educated and less driven woman.

  • @jpranav8921
    @jpranav8921 Před 5 lety +7

    Does this apply to wives of Indian Diplomats too?

    • @shreyanachappa6424
      @shreyanachappa6424 Před 4 lety +3

      J Pranav Indian Diplomatic wives are allowed to have careers. Of course everything else applies, but then again, all of these things apply to wives of army officers as well.

    • @dumdumbiryani
      @dumdumbiryani Před 4 lety +2

      I mean the partner is allowed to have a career but it really depends on the country in which the IFS officer posted in because a lot of countries don't give work visas but the government of India allows your partner to work outside if they give work visas.

    • @sbh0892
      @sbh0892 Před 3 lety

      Some countries let spouses of Indian diplomats work for a remuneration. Others don't.

    • @sooryakeerthips8919
      @sooryakeerthips8919 Před 3 lety

      @Dr Nicole Nasr Thank you sir for giving a hope because people who pursue this profession could at least feel calm.

  • @lucy-ferprofiler5379
    @lucy-ferprofiler5379 Před 2 lety +16

    sad.... we should teach our daughters to aspire to be diplomats, not "the wives of".

  • @sadiyac88
    @sadiyac88 Před 4 lety +8

    And few years ago India didn't allow diplomat women to get married.

  • @BobJohnson648
    @BobJohnson648 Před 2 lety

    But take comfort in knowing that your hubby is busy getting the next war started

  • @couldbeanybody2508
    @couldbeanybody2508 Před 4 lety +1

    Running over kids lol

  • @kevinwilliams3272
    @kevinwilliams3272 Před měsícem

    I'm giving up after only 2 minutes, I can't take any more. I'm not contesting in any way who you are, Nicole, but a psychologist who can't say a single sentence which doesn't contain "you know" ? Sorry, but if I hear any more "you knows", I'm going to need to consult a psychiatrist...