5 Signs You're In Love With A Manipulator
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- čas přidán 31. 05. 2024
- In one of our previous videos, we talked about trauma bonding, which refers to the deep emotional attachment one might feel towards their abuser. And many of you resonated with the video. But what if you're not sure if the person you're in love with is actually manipulative.
So today, we're going to drop the truth bomb about manipulative love! In this eye-opening video, we reveal 5 telltale signs that you're involved with a manipulator. From emotional manipulation to love bombing, we'll dive deep into the tactics used by manipulative individuals. Learn about narcissism, manipulation techniques, and the subtle signs of a manipulative personality.
Don't let yourself fall deeper into the trap. Discover the red flags and gain the knowledge to protect yourself from psychological manipulation. Watch now and empower yourself with the insights you need.
This is the trauma video we're talking about: • 8 Signs Its A Trauma B...
If you haven't watched it yet, we highly recommend you do so now.This video might hold the epiphany you need
Writer: Drew Baillie
Editor: Michal Mitchell
Script Manager: Kelly Soong
Voice Over: Amanda Silvera ( / amandasilvera )
Animator: Tobiyaki
CZcams Manager: Cindy Cheong
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References:
Arabi, S. (2020). The Highly Sensitive Person’s Guide to Dealing with Toxic People: How To Reclaim Your Power From Narcissists and Other Manipulators. New Harbinger Publications.
Archer, D. (2017, March 6). The manipulative partner's most devious tactic. Psychology Today. www.psychologytoday.com/blog/reading-between-the-headlines/201703/the-manipulative-partners-most-devious-tactic.
Braiker, H. (2004). Who's Pulling Your Strings: How to Break the Cycle of Manipulation and Regain Control of Your Life. McGraw-Hill.
Brenner, A. (2016). 9 Classic Strategies of Manipulative People. Psychology Today.
Leonard, E. (2022). 3 Ways To Tell When Someone is Playing The Victim. Psychology Today.
Petric, D. (2022). Psychology of Abusive Human Behavior. Open Journal of Medical Psychology. 11,29-38. doi.org/10.4236/ojmp.2022.112003
Psychology Today. (nd). Love-Bombing. www.psychologytoday.com/za/basics/love-bombing
Sarkis, S. (2018). Gaslighting: Recognize Manipulative and Emotionally Abusive People and Break Free. Da Capo Press
Now can someone tell me why this video only has 57 views?
Because it's not released
Cause people rather be in denail
This is one of the video that isn't validifing their inherit thoughts and opinions but instead make people ACTUALLY REFLECT ON THEIR LIFE CHOICES
@@bluefood6146 no its just not out yet
It was posted 12 seconds ago
Why is your comment posted 6 months ago the video just came out
One of the worst things I’ve ever been through. Be careful people because they can steal your confidence and make you feel wrong for no reason at all lol
Why did you put the lol at the end?
@@ladennayoung2939 Idk I tend to use “lol” often for some reason. Also can’t really do much but look back and learn from the experience and laugh at the pain of what I had to go through to learn some lessons.
@@ladennayoung2939 Idk it’s just a habit I have when I type out a comment or text. Also I can only look back at my experience and laugh off some of the pain I had to go through to learn the lessons I did to help me grow. Hope all is well with you and the manipulators stay far away from us as possible!
With clarity I understood how my feelings where right, my lashing out in small ways was not abusive, I never lay a wrong hand, raised my voice or made her feel unsafe, I learnt with time that nothing I had ever said was completley private always sharing always asking for sympathy about my actions. Burning bridges and relationships around you, but you wouldn’t dare listen you will defend them untill the day they finally cannot keep up the facade
same here
0:40 Love bombing
1:56 Gaslighting
3:05 Often plays the victim
3:54 Walking on eggshells
5:00 one sided effort
6:06 WHAT TO DO ?
No mirroring?
That’s what got me.
Sounds like a narcissistic disorder portrait
The single worst aspect of being in love with a manipulator is the fact that it felt like the truest relationship I've ever had. I've spent a good 4 years deprograming and debriefing from it, and I still can't really discern how much of it was real.
This. I hate that feeling of not knowing if everything is ok or if it's wrong or if their intentions are really what they say when you find out it's totally the opposite.
I feel you.. sometimes I still wonder.. 16 years of manipulation.. I need to stick to the facts of what happened and not to my feelings. I gaslight myself about the past..
@@julianagregori5888 Entirely too relatable.
Yes because for a while now I haven't noticed that my FIRST freind was a manipulative person who used many of these tactics and more
Spent 11 years with a manipulator. As someone that has struggled to see my own value outside of what I can provide for people, it took a very long time for me to realize what was happening. It's never too late.
Been there, I was isolated until the point I don't have anyone to talk to about this relationship because he suddenly made me unsafe to trust my friends and he kept trying to broke me apart from my family, resenting my brother and parents and made me into thinking that he is the only place I had in this dangerous world, and made me dependent, then he hated me being dependent.
It was so confusing.
I'd rather have a pet and be satisfied than fall in love with a manipulator.
and be the pet.
People in 2024 still don't know Pets also use Maipulation tactics 😂.
@@tharkiwyvern6952 lol yes but that doesn't hurt
I was in a relationship with one. It took me just shy of three years to see through him and finish it. I went from loving him to not even liking him as a person.
The main issues were gaslighting, victim mentality, inability to take any responsibility, blame shifting, avoidance, taking my words and using them as his own, minimising, future promising, outright lying and so on.
I’m so glad I didn’t waste any more time on him.
Yoo i had kinda same bf..he first broke up saying i deserve better then after just 3-5 days he came back saying he wants 2nd chance and after 4-5 i finally agreed but then i understood that he actually is manipulating me into falling inlove with him so in the end
i broke up with :))
@@kpop7585 you’re probably far better off without that childish behaviour and before you really sis get sucked in. Onto better things now hopefully 🤞🏼
I don't wanna BE a manipulator, and I don't wanna be WITH one. The upsides of long-term singleness!
Always good to study what you want to attain
When it comes to walking on eggshells - "you can't say the wrong thing to the right person".
My ex was a grandmaster level manipulator. Months after the breakup, and I'm STILL uncovering manipulative tactics he used. He was a narcissist, and one the likes of which I've never seen. So glad to have gotten away from him.
Lol, The way you described it, You are also Grandmaster.😂
@@tharkiwyvern6952 You are the problem here. Just leave.
Mine was too. It was INSANE. I'm still unraveling the layers and layers of manipulation, gaslighting, and cruelty he put me through. The eggshells I walked on 24/7, always fearing the next tiny thing that would set him off. It was hard for me to even voice an opinion for years after breaking up with him.
@@erinbeepbeep5238 it's the worst! The impact they have on us lasts for ages, even once we leave. It affects who we are as individuals, who we are in our interpersonal relationships, and it affects who and how we are with subsequent partners. It's sad how long we jump at shadows, even long after they're gone, because we're just waiting for the next string of attacks and abuse, whether from them or from other people in our lives.
So glad you got out, though! And I hope your healing has helped you find yourself and your voice again. You definitely deserve it! 🖤
Like what? What he did?
Toxic people won’t change, because in their mind it’s your fault, not theirs.
Yes they are very selfish and can't look passed their own glasses but they will criticize their target that they should think passed themselves
They reverse psychology
Well, now i know why theses happens , i should have noticed that before -
Breaking up time
Remember this can be friendships as well. It took me nearly two years of living with my ex friend to truly see who she was. The constant victim mentality and blame shifting was the worst. She made me feel like a terrible person for speaking up about not feeling respected or appreciated. If I called her out on things, she would say "sorry" or "I understand" but there would not be any changed behavior. And if she was in a "bad" mood she would hide behind the word "empath" and shut down any conversation with tears and guilt tripping. She then would turn around and say I was not communicating with her, and text my fiancé behind my back. I know now that her particular "boundaries" were emotional manipulation.
Never again will I make myself so destructively small to cater to a fragile ego pretending to be a good person.
Number one sign: You are manipulated into loving them.
My bad side of my brain is telling me that thats kinda hot 😅😅
@@xMckingwill get your mind out of the gutter
@@xMckingwill oh hell nah
@@xMckingwill It's really, really not. I've been there, until I realized I didn't love him at all. I was pressured into doing what he wanted, and now I'm just embarrassed by how blindsided I was. Once you're in a relationship with these types of people, they portray themselves as the best partners ever (and since they love bombed you first, it seems like you can't really complain) and will always blame you. He tried to make me believe I would never find someone else due to how "special" I was... as if no one else could take it. I've met someone else now, we're not dating, but I feel like I might actually be falling in love for the first time. It's so different when you genuinely like someone for their personality, for their humor, for the way you two just click. Instead of feeling pressured or rushed into things, or wowed by love bombing. Things are slower, but natural, it doesn't feel like it's just one side giving it their all and THAT is kinda hot
That's exactly what happened with me and my ex.
To avoid manipulative love, trust your instincts, communicate openly, and set boundaries. Love should feel supportive, not controlling. I, You, We deserve healthy, genuine love!
glad you guys talked about this since i was a with manipulator long ago and for others to know: it's not worth it, especially trying to change them and definitely don't fall for the love bomb like i did.
been there and I realized I got manipulated by him after one year so I dropped him. I sadly still see him in my life and catch him looking at me
i have loved a manipulator before... he played "if i can't do this i won't go" type of thing which made me want to please him so i can relate to this somewhat..
I agree that It is very confusing, I hope anyone who went through manipulation recovers quickly… it sucks. 💜
I just got out of my relationship...
Turns out I was with a narcissist and a manipulative person..
This video is just perfect...
Thank you....
💔💔💔
I'm at the same situation right now. Wish you the best ❤
@@Fanu0 i wish you good luck as well...💜🤍
When I broke up with my manipulative @busive toxic ex for a while after I CRAVED manipulation from someone I felt like I NEEDED someone to make me feel bad abt myself. This stuff can really manipulate and gaslight you until your brain is literally re wired and can make you think that’s what love is
This makes a lot of sense now. I recently fell out of a relationship that turned into a close friendship, and now I don’t even see the person anymore. It was my first relationship and I just thought that everything that was happening on the first few dates was normal, since he said during the whole relationship that “this is what a relationship is supposed to be like”. I didn’t know that what was happening was specifically called love bombing. Thank you Psychtogo 💚.
A lot of this applies to a toxic friendship (that im now out of) and it's honestly reassuring to me. I've been doubting whether or not I made the right choice
These are a very important for empaths 🍃🍃
0:01 Such a sudden surprise you referenced Emmanuel Kant. A philosopher from where I am from. It's so heartwarming to hear close motives of your home in a video of your favorite author. Not to mention that in a light of recent tragic events, these past 3 days, locals bring flowers to Immanuel Kant's gravestone as a symbol of love. To grief the passing of Navalny, as there are unfortunately, no proper monuments to victims of political repressions in our city. Thank you humbly, thank to you, I am once again inspired to come back to his works and read them, but much more attentive this time.❤
I am thinking of visiting his monument and bringing flowers as well.
I got out of an emotionally abusive relationship like, 4 weeks ago. The mark, it leaves, is HUGE. Im still on medication, and there was expected that I would recover within a month, but I will be needing another dosis of anti depressants and anxiety medication. He recently haunted me and tells everyone I was the bad one, I lost my phone with all evidence of his heartlessness. He torments me and he loves it. He doesnt want others to date me, he doesnt want me happy. Ive long tried to help him, and realise these behaviors, and it left me broken. I hope every person who had to go through this, is on the path of healing, i pray for all of you
I wanted to thank you.
Sometime, I feel guilty about the way I left an 15 years friendship. After 2 hard years getting back to myself, still wondering if I was completly right or not, I took a deep moment to check with more objectivity if this was really that bad with this video criterias. And damn, I was right.
The thing is, I was always walking on eggshells. It was for a long time not my only friend but time passed and he was still here. Other stuff like the 3 victim triangle and more. Those dynamic were just a habit that I was always trying to fight in order to help him. At some point I was about to be as bad as him with people and I got crazy. So I gave up after 15 years. Accepting that I can't help him anymore and just ressurected.
So well, it's good to have some feedback checkup that still make me remember that I was not crazy
One of the side signs is when your partner avoids discussing any troubles, conflicts or even concerns about relationships. Most likely, they will try convincing you that you get the situation wrong and everything is fine. Whenever you try to remind that cases in future, they will be blaming and shaming you for all possible things and never approve their own responsibility. It's not because they're monsters or kinda (i know how strongly it seems to be that way sometimes, but it's not). It's because their own traumas and personality' aspects they can't control. Nonetheless it doesn't mean that a person who finds themselves as a victim in such relationships shall tolerate that moves. Work on your personal boundaries, ask for professional support and help, keep focus on your feelings, emotions. It gets better for sure. Dark times will pass and all painful affections will turn into useful and valuable lessons 😇
Thanks for so helpful and valuable video as always ❤❤❤
I'ts crucial to be aware of these signs in any relationship, great video!
Another one (maybe it overlaps with victim outlook): neverending crises. Every day is a new crisis, or a repeat of the same preventable crisis that she's created for herself. Because she's always in crisis, you can easily never get a word in, much less get reciprocation, effort, or support yourself.
This is the first included captioning in a Psych2Go video that I like. Good work! I hope it keeps getting better after months of being bad like auto generated captioning.
Thanks for spreading knowledge
This video helped me see and actually understand it as a young male
Thank you so much💜
Thank you for sharing 👍🏻
Yes, I'm in love with johan libert
23 secs ago, damn
Thank you so much for this video... I can positevely say that it is going to change my life. Thank you for showing me the truth
wowowow, thanks, needed this for a roleplay, definitely not having my character manipulate others 😄👍
My first and only relationship ended within a month. This sums it up pretty well!
Really needed this video at this time.
Time Stamps 🧸💗
1. 0:40 - Love Bombing
2. 1:55 - Gaslighting
3. 3:03 - Often Plays Victim
4. 3:52 - Walking On Eggshells
5. 4:54 - One-Sided Effort
never being in a relationship again after i've been in one and i showed signs bordering on manipulation. not as if i'm a manipulative person, i just never knew how to be in a healthy one, am terrified of being vulnerable, and have terrible communication skills. i end up pushing everyone from me, giving silent treatment because i have no idea how to process my feelings, blaming people for having normal emotions because i can't allow myself to have them so i don't think it's normal. it would be a lie of i said i didn't liked having someone that depended on me. it is no way an excuse, i've hurted someone because of it, regret it for years even when I've made peace with the person, and i'm not doing it again or being in a relationship before i can love like a sane humab being
Pun pun points for your profile picture 👍
@@mangastache lmao i didn't remembered commenting this now I'm embarassed. but ty for the points
@@dalilsty never feel embarrassed about opening up ✌️
Thank you for sharing 🌹🌷🌺
It's always manipulation. That's how love works in the real world. You don't love somebody by choice, they manipulate you into loving them. You just think it's by choice when it isn't. The least manipulative people in the world are also the least loved.
He said, and i quote "i like the attention, not you."
Then claims he loves me, while im being abused mentally behind everyone's back.
Thats not love is it!
Yes they mix vile remarks with arrogant niceness
Thanks these videos should be shown in high school. (Before teens start dating).
GOOD MORNING MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY I CAN RELATE TO THIS TOPIC BECAUSE MY TOXIC PARENT DO IT TO ME ON A DAYLY BASIS HAVE A BLESSED DAY TEE 🙏💪💙
This art style is so cool :D
thank you!
Awesome animation
First sing to know if you're in an emotionally abusive relationship: you're looking for signs to know if you are.
This made me realise, how many of these points fit so well to my partner.
Me too 😢
Sounds about right 🥺
I cant take it anymore
❤❤❤a very beautiful animation ❤❤❤
I hate calling her a manipulator. She was so good to me for so long and then suddenly I couldn't say anything that didn't make her angry and she simply stopped trying. I want to get better but every time I think I'm ready something else happens, we broke up months ago and even when I try to cut off all contact to stop the pain she suddenly apologizes. She had me hook line and sinker and yet seems to feel the need to push me away in order to drag me back along.
*takes notes
I like how the manipulative partner has a Venus Flytrap on their head as threatening but seems fine
Hey... I’ve watched your CZcams channel for a long time just never got to comment or subscribe, but can you make a video about what to do when you rejected someone but now like them? Just asking since I am really upset about love and that kind of stuff..
Looking back, my crush never tried to get me to do things for them or whatever, but all the signs in this video were there.
i almost finished shahida arabis book! i can’t put it down
FYI: This is the trauma video we're talking about: czcams.com/video/4EqbuAlrilQ/video.html
The worst thing is that you never know they were manipulative til they’ve hurt you.
Well, how am I going to explain this?
Right now I am in a big conflict with a girl I'm 'dating', all fo the things explained in this video are soooo true and relatable in my relationship with the girl im 'dating'. I am going to set my boundaries for myself! Thank you Universe to send me here!
he started acting like this when he was no longer interested in me. it sucks that he was a sweet guy but i guess it would be the best to separate rather than staying and hoping him to be that sweet person one day. it was so draining and i even made excuses for him for treating me like that and blamed myself for being way too sensitive and overthinking. i hope he would realize this and treat the next person better than he did to me.
i think at some parts of my life, i was being manipulating too, and i believe we both did that unconsciously. it was nice that he pointed that out for me but ended up being manipulating while i tried to change ❤️🩹
This was a terrible experience to live with, I am just lucky that I was an introvert with high respects for myself, because this specific person gave me *too* much affection and attention, and wouldn’t back off. Then I left him and he was begging for me to stay, i did not. I just feel grateful I left at the stage that hurts the least.
Been into these situations a multiple no.of times
Believe me !It takes a lot of time to come out of that toxic zone whether can be from boyfriend, girlfriend or family members
Love is not only passion. It also a committment, to support another person.
Signs of a manipulator.
1) Love bombing.
2) Devaluation ( after he has gained control)
3) Gaslighting (twisting the truth).
4) Walking on egg- shells ( reacting in extreme ways to minor things)
How does this mesh with BPD or the like? As if the manipulation tactics are True does that invalidate them or?
As always a video from psych2go comes in with perfect timing ❤
I sense this was an unlisted video ✨
Been through a recent breakup, she pushed me to my absolute mental limits in order to show her affection,love and attention, even when i am absolutely exhausted from other things in life like work, family and such.
she always pushed me to fight for our relationship and even confront my mother (my mother 'hated' her to say the least). my ex always has been pouring ideas onto me like:my mother never showed me affection like she did, my friends aren't really my friends and even got to the point that i met with them less and less because of her.
until i talked with my friends and other people about this situation i did not see through the manipulation.
all of the signs presented in the video were there but i did not see it.
Wow... this is *EXACTLY* what my Mom does in all of her relationships... She even acts like this with her own kids...
Yeh ... Sadly I know quite well how it is.
Begin used .
Not just one sign but a collection of these.
Because of this video , I won't talk to my crush no more cause I feel like I'm manipulating them and I don't want them to be scared. So I will ignore:(
I wish I knew about your vids when I was with my ex. They might have helped me realize earlier how manipulative she was.
Is there a way for someone to help out with your channel? I love how you help people.
These videos just confuse me even more and make me wonder if I was manipulating too unconsciously, or if I’m just delusional and I can’t trust my recollection of events
In my past relationship he told me I think I love you on the first date after just a couple weeks of talking(love bombing) he also made me cry shortly after I told him that I hadnt yet felt the same (trauma bonding). By the end of the 9th month he wasnt even willing to cuddle with me or hardly talk to me. He made me feel like I was the reason he was so depressed or the reasons arguments began when it was really him not caring or listening. He didnt even celebrate my college graduation with me and kinda seemed sad when I told him I passed my final tests. I think he loved me in his own fucked up way, but its hard to tell
I’m married to one. I dunno what happened it seemed like a switch happened in his whole personality and he turned from a caring and loving respectful person to a “nah don’t have any energy for that” person.
It really feels i’m pulling all the weight in our married and family life. I told him my worries and frustrations and he tries to discredit all that i shared or has no answer at all. Like he’s not even listening, so i ended up just bottling it in and not bothering him at all. As there is always no time for me to share since he’s always on his phone or gaming.
I dont even know if I continue or just draw the line.
He did all of this within 1 month. It really broke me. 💔
I was manipulated into proposing… constant guilt trip, gaslighting, and love bombing
Timestamps
1). Love bombing 0:39
2). Gaslighting 1:55
3). Often plays the victim 3:02
4). Walking on eggshells 3:51
5). One-sided effort 4:54
Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. Sorry this is so late. 💙💙💙💙💙💙
Can you make this same video about parents, it would really benefit some kids in the same situation 🥲
I don’t think I’ve ever been in a relationship with a manipulator. But… I did just have a falling out with my best friend. I don’t think he’s a bad person, and I do think that he genuinely is the victim a lot of the time, but the point of playing the victim-card was something that 100% existed in our friendship. He constantly played the victim to gain my sympathy, the sympathy of my friends, and the sympathy of all his friends too. I wish I had seen this video a year ago because this captured the many ways he manipulated me, and how I should’ve responded sooner. Towards the end of our friendship, I didn’t really know what to do, but I made it a point to remain kind. I knew he couldn’t handle the complete truth is how he emotionally hurt me, but I knew it was important for me to say how he at least lied to the next person who would become my next best friend. I’m not friends with either of them anymore now as a direct result of his lies and manipulation. I told him about how he lied to her. His reaction was to tell me how I blame everything on him, basically projecting all the things he does to me. It’s really a shame because I don’t think he’s really that bad of a person… although… that may still be a result of my loving him as my former best friend. While it does hurt to not have that person anymore who I could tell anything, I have been successfully self-improving. I have a new job. I am meeting new people. Most importantly, I am more consistently happy… which is something that was pretty rare when I was best friends with him.
Remember, the earlier you discover manipulative tactics used on you, the better. But consider yourself a winner no matter if you've managed to discard a manipulator before getting into a relationship with them or after. You're not alone. Cheers.
I dated/was friends with one for I time but I doubt they were going it consciously. I think they just thought that’s how things worked and it never failed them before badly so they probably thought it was fine. Though I’m not in direct contact after things they did I hope they can find the steps to improvement.
Ugh...been there before. If you are the love of their life after a couple of months...run...just run
I was in a relationship, or what you could call a situationship, with a manipulative person. Things were going well after I accepted his proposal, but he suddenly stopped communicating with me. When I asked him if everything was okay, he said he was sick. Over time, he began to ignore my messages
until finally, after two months of ghosting me, he responded to my old texts . I couldn't believe his nerve. How can some people not feel any guilt about their actions? When I asked him what he wanted, he said he noticed I seemed happy lately and he was there to bring some toxicity into my life. He also mentioned wanting a wild hookup. It took me a while to realize he was not the right person for me, and finally, I blocked him.
Although it took me some time , i am proud i finally took this step
"You make me treat you like this. I'm not this mean to anyone else in my life."- my first boyfriend
Now my next question is how do you fix yourself after this? How do you go about your day to day life without now viewing everyone as a user and manipulator. How do you try and reduce the personality changes that may happen on yourself due to the negative experience
Also the manipulator never lets you meet his or her friends but insists on meeting and hanging out with yours.
What do you do if the manipulator has insinuated himself into your friend group by being invited in and then has turned this group against the manipulated?
Think it’s worth mentioning the lovebombing … in my experience it consists of low value generally unwanted and sometimes humiliating items being given often. It’s kinda clever coz it’s devaluing to receiving lots of things you don’t want and encourages you to placate… you could always say no thanks. Occasionally but more often than usual you will experience high value things… but don’t get too excited - it’s always what they want to do and will involve a level of guilt … for no cost to you 😏
I show these signs..Am I a self aware manipulator?.. please give me an advice
#3 must go with some other traits. 👀
I don't have any family (I literally haven't talked to any of them in over a year and don't even know where most of them are)
What about talking to 'their' family?
Why did the voice change so much? Listan to the voice in this video vs newer videos.
Im currently dealing with all of these in my relationship.
Leave.
Or you really fell in love with someone and they think you are manipulating them because they have gone through a lot of heart ache and you become afraid of hurting them because you don’t want to hurt them but they say you are....so you will always love them even if they change...