Why Moose are the Greatest Threat to National Security
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- čas přidán 12. 08. 2021
- Orca Comic made by Pet_Foolery
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That dude who decided to just slowly walk into their shed and lock themselves in is, quite possibly, one of the smartest people alive. The best choice when seeing a moose is a calm and collected "N O P E."
And seeing the huge ass moose just walk right up to the shed that man went into just moments ago...my God 😦 Just why ...
Experience begets wisdom...
I'm positive it's not the first time that bloke has hid in a shed from monstrous wildlife~.
Moose was like "I...I saw you go in there paul....just give me my daily apple and I will leave..."
@@Passions5555 and that is why all Canadians should have government provided anti tank rifles in their sheds
Honestly, keeping your distance is usually fine. You really only have to watch out if you see a baby moose.
"Probably why Canadians are so polite, their landlord's a moose and they pay taxes to geese...." and I lost it 🤣🤣🤣
They live in Sweden too
As a Canadian who was almost faded by a moose I can confirm this
as a canadian, i can say that this is very true. he's spitting facts.
I guess in the USA their landlords are the overrated bald eagles
@@idoitforthememes6011 as a Canadian as well, who's car was wrecked by a deer, and almost got hit by a moose going full speed my way in the dark, while my lights infront of my car was broken, so I had no way of learning that there was a moose, we better show respect, but then again, being a first nations native just means eating the moose, & deer, I must say, im truly sad that I couldn't eat the deer, and moose's meat. I could've had a feast.
Speaking as a Canadian: moose really are that kind of absolute unit.
My dad was a truck driver and, when I was very small, he was hauling empty trains (two trailers behind one truck) east of Sault Ste. Marie. We came around a bend doing roughly 80 kilometers an hour, and there was a large bull moose standing in the road. My dad swerved - missed the moose with the cab and the first trailer. The second trailer caught the moose by the antler. The truck's weight and momentum threw the moose about 40 feet in the air; the moose's weight threw us into a fishtail and into the ditch.
The moose came down on the pavement, flat on one side. I will never forget the sound of his indignant "Hmph!" as he got up and strode majestically into the bush, leaving us to sort out our own business.
That having been said, a bull moose isn't the thing I worry about most when I'm in the wilderness. What truly worries me is a cow moose, with a calf I don't see. Bull moose are accustomed to display, and will give you ample warning, the same as they would a rival bull. A cow moose with bebes has a hair's breadth between tolerating your presence and "that's far enough; time to trample a bitch."
The 2 things that are actually scary in the woods:
Getting between a big mama and her kids. (Death sentence, anything that would normally flee is instead trying to kill you)
And big herbivores. Predators have to hunt for their next meal so they have to do some risk/reward calculation, and generally humans are weird enough to not have enough meat on our bones to be worth the unknown threat. Herbivores don't, and instead either flee from everything or throw their immense bulk around to crysh all resistance beneath their hooves. Moose are the latter, and while they can be docile, anything that big should not be messed with.
Its just like how the deadliest animal in Africa is the Hippo, even with all the big predators its the fat herbivore that is the most dangerous. (Not counting mosquitoes, malaria has killed about half of all humans to ever live)
@@jasonreed7522 All true.
@jasonreed7522 The malaria bit is inaccurate. Just one of countless cases wherein internet-age journalists played telephone.
Mf really said "heramph heramph" to getting whipped by a truck trailer into pavement
@@lucastrimble9140 Pretty much, lol! Bull moose have Riddick energy.
As a Canadian, I can confirm this. Although, we don't pay taxes to geese, we pay protection money to them.
Ultimately, is there really a difference with Canadian geese involved?
Geese are the best
Taxes, protection money…
Po-tay-to, to-mah-to.
Moose goes after you: You’re dead
You run over moose: You’re dead
Try anything with moose: You’re dead
if north korea was a animal
my brother actually hit a moose and sped up before he hit the moose and he only got glass in his arm and that was it
@@AleroaTheAlta
That's more of America. North Korea is more of chihuahua.
@@Enchie I think they were referring to the people who live there in relation to the government. Not the country in general.
Exist near a moose: flip a coin on wether or not you live or not
"Sometimes they cut out the middleman and show up at hospitals"
Imagine going to the hospital after barely surviving a moose attack only to find out the moose has pulled up for round 2 while you're walking (or rolling) out.
i must thank you for the mental image of a doctor telling a bed bound patient they have a visitor and then a moose walks in
@@allthingsanime7413 lol
@@allthingsanime7413
Patient: Why doctor, why!?
Doctor: It was either you or me.
Moose: That's the thing doc, why go for just one?
Doctor: Fuck!
@@Enchie That's actually a terrifying line.
@@user-mh9dx7nz2r
It's what I always say.
"Failing to meet a moose's expectations is how heaven gains angels" I applaud your speech throughout this whole thing. Extremely well written and very funny. You're delivery was on point and I loved how you were able to sum up this 10' vegan. Thank you for the laughs and knowledge.
There’s really no good way to describe how big a moose is without seeing them in person but damn, they are shockingly massive
I haven't seen one in person but my dad did once, he said it looked like the entire forest was moving when it turned its head.
He's been known to exaggerate but the point is they are absolute units, and definitely the most dangerous thing in the woods. (ADKs in NY anyway, they are too rare to have a hunting season, but common enough that you cam regularly find their tracks, which are way bigger than deer tracks. If deer tracks are the size of your index & middle fingers, then moose tracks are your entire hand/palm.)
"With a country with bears, cougars and Florida, the most dangerous animal of all is a 10 foot vegan with antlers"
A truly majestic quote.
Though the most dangerous animal is definitely humans. Florida is a good example, lol.
@@nyanSynxPHOENIX the US is kinda the Florida to the rest of the world 😏
@@SortenRavn
Tried abit too hard on that one.
@@darkzeroprojects4245 A bit hard? Maybe. But damn if it isn't true, though.
Unfortunately as a Florida resident we have cougars (technically panthers) so... we're more the Australia of America.
Advice from an Alaskan: If you're going to hit a moose TUCK DOWN YOUR WHOLE BODY TOWARDS THE FLOORBOARDS. DO IT. Whatever bones you break will be less than whatever the moose crushes.
While on the floorboards, kiss your ass goodbye. (Waves from Anchorage)
Wouldn't you be just as dead anyway, given the likelihood of it falling right through your windshield?
What if you're driving a truck, like a Peterbilt or Kenworth?
@@asherikamichaela8425 I think that was his point?
@@phantomaviator1318 you'd be surprised. At 7-10 feet they roll up and into the drive compartment, crushing the glass and anything behind it. Even you.
To put a moose into perspective: where I live a few years ago there was a state trooper responding to a moose collision, on his way to the call he hit a moose and it opened his cruiser up like a sardine can. As in his car became a convertible without a windshield. I saw the aftermath when they delivered the cruiser to my work, it's amazing the trooper survived relatively unharmed.
I play a survival game called The Long Dark, absolutely the most terrifying thing to come across in the game is a moose. Part of the storyline is that animals are way more aggressive then before the game takes place so any of them will go out of their way to obliterate you with extreme prejudice. Moose are terrifying.
I was playing a horror survival called Sons of the Forest, stranded on an island with mutant cannibals, scariest thing I've seen so far is a moose out of nowhere.
There is also game called Darkwood and it says something where in a game about Eldritch Polish Forest where Nightmares come to life one of the most dangerous enemies is a fucking Moose.
"Jesus Christ in moose form, the Moose-siah if you will"
I fucking died 😭😭💀
I thought he said moose idon
My condolences
3:05
I can't even 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
That was a horse 🐎 he really wanted that joke in the video bad
"I fear no man, but that thing..."
*_-Insert Moose here_*
"It scares me..."
I'm more scared of Florida Man
@@j.t8529 florida man arrested after being caught eating moose guts out of the moose
@@j.t8529 without a permit
@@eddyhoopin on a highway
Fear me
North America had giant sloths, giant saber toothed cats, dire wolves, wooly rhinos, mammoths, camels, a deer the size of a moose called the stag-moose, and even a giraffe/elephant hybrids called the Pareceratherium that was big even by elephant standards (edit: location error here, see adreabrooks11's correction below). Moose are one of the last megafauna we have, coming over from Asia 10,000 years ago, it replaced the stag-moose after they were wiped out. Beasts were all BIG.
paraceratherium was actually a species of rhino
You are forgetting giant beavers.
During the Pleistocene there was a genus of beavers who had more or less the same size of a black bear, weighing as much as 280lbs……. Just imagine the dams and the tree cutting….
Paraceratherium remains have never been found in North America - only Eurasia, and the term "megafauna" actually applies to any animal over 100 lbs., but you're totally right that moose are rare giants! Along with bison, brown bears, and American crocodiles, they really do stand among the land-titans of our continent.
@@adreabrooks11 Ah! You're right, I made a mistake there, thanks for the correction.
A story shared at our last fishing trip. A bunch of commercial fishermen caught a moose crossing a lake. They decided they wanted to try and drown it. They tied their boat to the antlers of the animal and attempted to tire it out and put its head underwater. Little did they know a sandbar was coming up. The moose got its legs under it and hoisted the entire boat out of the water jettisoning the occupants of the boat. The boat was found 300 feet off the shore in the bush. All humans had some kind of serious injury.
In a Kim Kardashian voice, “It’s what they deserved.” Followed by an evil smile. 😈
That’s what they deserved for being absolute psychos for no fucking reason.
Seriously, why was their first response to seeing an animal crossing a lake to try and drown the damn thing!?
But but....why? Why would they try to do that? Were they high? I understand if they wanted to kill it for the meat because moose meat is delicious, but to drown it? Why?
@@elisaa9981 target of opportunity
There was fishing and I have been fishing since I was old enough for my car seat to be brought along. . . .so I can say that alcohol usually goes with fishing.
You also need a specific hunting tag to go moose hunting and submit your name in a lotto every year. Few people get the right to hunt moose. Bet the DNR or gov't agency had a field day with that one.
"And failing to meet a Mooses expectations is exacly how heaven gains angels." You, sir, are a wordsmith of the highest order. I bow to your brilliance lest i be blinded and awestruck
Yes, I love his wordsmithery.
Lmao
Also how Satan gains devils
Moose's must be Jesus but how how how how can you explain to me how they walk on water my bad run on water they must be Jesus or God like how does that mother f***** run on water
@@wolfie9672 Given how moose can swim, it's probably running fast enough to run on water combined with its feet's ability to move easily in water. Or the water in question is shallow.
This Dude is so cool not only does he keeps people who are interested in animals engaged but with his humor people's who aren't much interested still watch the video
I'm something of a Moose myself
Teachers shld use his attitude more lol
Just with kid friendly language I guess
Damn nigga
Fax. Plus there's no unnecessary editing
Tier zoo is better
I've been blessed with being able to grow up with these incredible animals in my backyard. My childhood home sat surrounded by swampland and the moose loved it. Sometimes I'd wake up to one at my bedroom window. One in particular stuck around our area for /years/. A huge bull with fur so dark it looked black, we called him Judge. He liked to hide in the shade under the pines by the road. He blended in so well there that one time a neighbour walked right by him on her jog and she didn't see. I remember freaking out and worrying he might run at her, but he didn't.🤷
"Watch from a distance/indoors and stay the fuck away from them" was a great lesson to learn as a child
I was raised in Newfoundland (that big island on the East Coast of Canada). Moose are a big problem there (quite literally). Growing up I remember getting a basic "survival" class on Moose (and other animals) and the lesson boiled down to: if you're in the woods, climb a tree, and if you can't climb a tree run between the trees where you think a moose would have a harder time reaching you (they're big and strong, but they're not uprooting trees, and Lord knows they can't corner as well as a human can), a Moose may be faster in a straight line but you should be more nimble among the trees than a Moose is. If you're not in the woods, seek shelter of any kind and RUN and hope and pray you get under/behind something solid before that Moose gores you or tramples you.
Moose are also among the leading causes of car accidents in Newfoundland (they certainly were when I was growing up anyway). It's to such an extent that the provincial government installed Moose fences; giant 6+ foot tall steel fences along vast swaths of open highway to greatly reduce potential crossing sites for Moose, and thus accidents.
We Newfies also EAT them, to be fair. Moose stew, sausage and roast were always on my table growing-up.
@@doubledouble4g379 Also true. But amongst wild game Moose are up there with bears for potential danger if you're not careful.
@@JM64 Never said we weren't crazy - we drink alcohol out of a fish, eh?
"But you're not coming out of there without wings and a halo."
Actually you could, you'll probably just get horns, wings, and a little pointy tail.
It depends.
True
Dunno... halo is Subjective since it’s really a ring of light and Lucifer has a halo as well. More you know.
Seriously, just kidding.
To be honest
you won’t come out with anything
They’ll just erase you
@@notamobilesprout4175 They'll take you and your soul out
@@notamobilesprout4175 Okay, that's true too. 😂
Moose: Is unstoppable truck-sized roid deer with antlers and an attitude.
Soviets: P O N Y !
The fact that you are Russian (or at least uses a Russian name) makes this even funnier and credible 🤣💀
that's Russia at it's finest
Then that same dude gets clapped by moose while the same moose dances on the soviet's corpses
I love how he relays facts while keeping it mad funny
I've met moose, both in the woods, walking on the road and at this moose farm we have up here. They're super gentle and curious and they make great snuggle-up-to-sleep friends. You just gotta be chiiiiiiill af when you meet them
'in a country with bears, cougars, and Florida, the most dangerous animal is a 10 foot vegan' 😂
10 ft vegan iF yOu iNcLuDe ThE aNtLeRs 🙄
@@Meatwad.Baggins - You'd definitely include the antlers, lest the antlers include you.
@@bordenfleetwood5773
🤣
Now you know why Americans love guns so much. Everything outside of city limits wants to eat you or stomp on you like mash potatoes.
@@angryfoxzd5233 I am not sure a gun would cut it lol.
"Landlords are moose, and they pay taxes to geese."
As a Canadian, can guarantee the truth of this statement.
I'm in the States but my home town is along the Canadian boarder. We have one goose couple that actually stays here during their breeding season. An entire plot of land near our waterfront is inaccessible while they are here. Those beasts are no joke and I feel horrible for other places that have to put up with more than one pair at a time.
I second this as a Canadian
welcome to New England where it happens here, too lol can you take your geese and moose back, please? the geese are asshole biters and the moose are just savagery on four hooves. Thanks!
Time stamp?
@Thecheese_god¶° ...WHAT?
"Failling to meet a moose's expectation is exactly how heaven gains angels"😂
"Moose can swim... because of course they can"... I lost my fucking shit 🤣
Orcas: “Violence isn’t the answer, it’s a question, and the answer is *Y E S !”*
Mmmm yes, an Owl house reference :)
yep
"It isnt the only answer, but it is *an* answer, and it's a very effective answer"
@Pr2cute Gaming that phrase has existed for a while, probably not a reference
First time I've seen that quote used appropriately. Also orcas are a holes. 😒
As a Canadian I can confirm that moose and geese are in fact our overlords.
Don’t forget the polar bears.
@@TheEmeraldMenOfficial
Ah yes...those white knights of winter...true royalty.
I can testify to the geese. I work on a golf course that is so considerate of wildlife (the golfers are well-heeled and they are proud of the audabon certification, and probably all watched Banbi as kids...) that the geese basically run the place, crap all over particular holes, and must be herded gently away if a goose emergency is declared. We used to have a very pissy goose that insisted on nesting on a decorative water feature, hissing at golfers if they tried to pass by in one of the busiest areas near the club house. Nobody moved her. For YEARS.
Hopefully we won’t have any moose decide the welcome mat is out. Don’t laugh..we are next to the river valley, a corridor for wildlife. We had 3 dens of coyotes one year, lots of deer, and cute but destructive wild rabbits. I’m part of the horticulture department. Sigh.... People romanticize wildlife. It’s our biggest problem.
@@kimadams2995 we have a golf course called Goose Humock...I know exactly what you mean.
Yes cobra chickens are deadly
One of my good friends wrote off two vehicles one car an one truck due to moose , and they weren't near the size of the ones in these videos (Eastern Canada) . His first accident was pretty wild it died on top of him whilst he was covered in moose stomach contents . He send me a picture and i had thought he swamped his car at first glance . Luckily a sweet lady who lived nearby let him go wash up and gave him some new clothes ( we brought her a few bottles of wine the next time we were up that way )
when I was younger we had a couple whitetail bucks get stuck together. My father took out a 22 riffle and waited and took a single shot. What were two eight points both became seven points. One of the best shots I've ever seen in person.
I love how orcas even find a way to kill moose, those things are truly savages
The guy...
Wow you got here fast
Woah it’s the guy
Course... Orcas is my spirit animal
He has claimed the right to be a meme
"The Moosiah, if you will"
Please, can someone give him an oscar already
moosain bolt😂😂🤣 ikr, hes clever!
@@piloctor15 cringe. Treelon musk.
I almost spit my coffee 🤣🤣🤣
@@YanKenPon Lucky you, mine's all over my screen now.
You get Oscars for acting, not stellar comedy writing
I was 15 in 1968, walking with my dog, Clementine, on an old mining road in northern Ontario. Saw what I thought were two horses, escaped from a local farm, on the road ahead. Then I noticed they weren’t horses. Horses don’t have antlers. It was two moose blocking the road ahead. Moose stomp people into jelly, smash us with their enormous racks, chase anything, fear nothing. Or so it seems.
Clementine and I were trapped on that road for 15-20 minutes until the moose wandered off back into the scrub. A 15 year old girl and 6 month old Springer Spaniel, no weapon other than a stick, trapped on a corduroy road that nobody travelled … it was scary as heck! Not something anyone should experience! They’re BIG critters! 🇨🇦🖖🏻🇨🇦
As an Alaskan resident I can confirm that the information in this video is very accurate and is like to add too. Don't even come close to annoying a moose (they will remember you) saw one have a 3 month grudge with my neighbor. As a side note, in North Pole Alaska we even had the joy of watching a moose fly once very cool he was very mad...duck and cover kids
This man educateds us every day
hope your ela teacher does as well
In the non boring way
Dude would make an excellent teacher its just kind of sad that I doubt public schools would approve of how he delivers it lol, still though could have used a guy like this as an educator when I was a kid, I would have done a lot better I think haha.
@@harryharrington8686 lol
More then teachers
I'm from Sweden where we have quite a lot of moose, and during the theoretical part of getting my driving licence we were taught to always aim for the rear of the moose if one would cross the road. The reason for this is that when a moose decides to cross a road, or do anything really, they will do it, so when it crosses the road the moose will almost never turn back but instead carry on straight over the road. So by aiming at the rear of the moose you might be lucky to have the moose cross enough of the road before your reach it, therfore potentially avoiding a collision! Hope this information helps! ☺️
Oh, another polite country with mooses in it. Coincidence? I think not.
EDIT: I was talking about reputation.
@@ellendallanora7404 I'm starting to think we need more moose in the US
@@47ratsinahoodie Please do not give people idea that they might be stupid enough to try. I've already have enough problems in my life, I don't need to add "moose" to the list!
@@MrTerminator3010 I can just imagine the news in USA if mooses where there too:
"Florida man dies after trying to ride a Moose and steal from the bank".
Also you're less likely to get impaled by the antlers ripping through your car!
Thank you getting me to think about this. May have saved a life or two.
One of my earliest memories probably around 3-4 years old is playing in our gravel driveway (kasilof AK) is playing with my fisher price wheel barrow and picking up pebbles and putting the in and heard crunching behind me, was a moose walking by, didn’t even get up just watched it walk by and go in it’s own way. Moose are often just living their life.
On the other hand if they are mad they are nothing to be messed with. A pack of neighborhood dogs had attacked a female moose in the area, I was in the same driveway probably around 12 years old with our dog, made eye contact and immediately knew the vibe was not right, I ran the 100 something feet back to the house SO fast and that moose was on my tail the whole way, tried to follow me through the front door and everything. They are nothing to be messed with 👀
Bro, don't change. The funniest videos ever! 😆 🤣 😂 Moosiah!
Most people will hear “seven feet tall” and think “that’s only a few feet bigger than a deer!”
What they should really think is “that’s only three feet shorter than an elephant.”
There is also: "I am 5-6 feet...."
I only have seen female asian elephants up close, BULLMOOSE ARE THE SAME GODDAMN SIZE!
"Andre with antlers"
A moose is basically just a couple sham’s wearing a deer costume.
And 5 feet wide!
"Moose are just over-grown all-terrain vehicles with antlers and audacity and probably the reason Canadians are so polite: their landlords are Moose and they pay taxes to geese, you'd be humble too"
Why is that so damn hilarious
Because it's true. The moose in Maine may be smaller than their Alaskan cousins, but ive seen those walking tanks shrug off large caliber bullets! And large as in .45-70 govt. And whats worse... it only made him mad!!!
As a canadian this is way to true. due to the wild fires in Canada moose have been seen running across roads and sometimes trampling people. and IF A MOOSE CAN BE 7-9 FEET TALL YO ASS NOT GONNA BE COMING OUT OF THAT WITHOUT A HOLE THREW YOUR CHEST.
@@MunMun-ut2lk I did not know this and now I'm never leaving my house. Good bye society.
"They'll River Dance all over your back, and don't need a reason to do it." I love that line!!
Canadian here.... I entirely concur! I live in the bush very rural. These fellas are something we never test. EVER! 🇨🇦✌️
"for those of you who know what rut is, I know how you know" is one of the most horrific sentences I have ever heard, because I do know
What’s that and how do you know?
@@jotarokujo9587 rut is basically moose demon time.
@@jotarokujo9587 idk about them but I’ve read many like … “ Werewolf “ or stuff like that Manwha 🥲
because of your profile pic i don’t want to ask how you know
@@jotarokujo9587 super pissed because super horny, if I remember right.
When I was a kid, my father took my brother and I fishing in a canoe, we went down a quiet river connected to the lake. The river was about thirty feet wide, we came across a baby moose which was pretty damn big in its own right, but then the mother came out of the brush and charged us only fifteen feet away. My father is a strong man hunt fish his whole life but I genuinely saw him afraid, for us of course, the damn moose was bigger then all of us and boat combined, my dad crouched paddle in hand ready to fight this monster off before it could capsize or tiny canoe, but just at the last second, no more then half a foot from us, the water got deep and the moose went under, came up swimming, trying to bite us, my dad was screaming and swinging, splashing water in its face, and eventually it turned and swam back to shore. It followed us for ten minutes honking and thrashing in bush.
Oddly enough at the time I wasn't scared, trusting my father, but looking back on it now, if I was a dad with twin boys under the age of ten in a canoe being charged by a giant mother moose in a tiny river 😱 I would have sunk that boat with my own turds.
🤣🤣🤣🤣
Epic
That's pretty amazing on you dad's part! Good on him, but man his nerves must have just been through the roof that day.
God bless your Dad!
And oh I laughed!
Thank God for happy endings like this.
🤣🤣🤣🤣
"I know how you know. I know how you know."😂. In tears I was, this had me screaming! ❤❤❤❤
Moosiah?!! You sir are the king 😂😂 great job.
“In a country with bears, cougars, and Florida”😆 ah yes, the three deadliest animals in America.
lol true
Actually Florida isn't all stereotypical also trust me all states and countries. Have these people Florida is a state that releases the bat shit crazy news to the public but don't worry all countries have that
Florida has panthers, dinosaurs (gators), native snakes, invasive giant ass pythons, other invasive creatures of hell, and Florida man.
@@sonniepronounceds-au-ni9287 and it's also directly next to the gulf of Mexico I think, but even if it isnt, it floods alot and hurricanes are abundant there
@@connerwine8257 nah Florida crazy bro
“MOOSIAH.”
I have no words, for how amazing that is.
I almost spat coffee on my computer 🤣🤣
@@thehomienxtdoor Same!!! One of the funniest lines ever spoken.
He also called them Mooses once or twice.
Even Meesus Christ once.
You had my sub at Moosiah! 😂 I'm Canadian, presently living in Winnipeg, I used to live in Northern Ontario and everything you said about the moose is correct. I saw a semi tractor-trailer in a garage in Northern Ontario with the front end totally destroyed, when I asked what happened I found out he had hit a moose. Great content, thanks for this!
Alaskan here. I have literally seen a bull moose fuck up my neighbors car. The car wasn't even doing anything, just parked along the side of the road. Moose decided he didn't like the look the car was giving him and promptly smashed the front window and caved the entire roof in. Because not only are moose huge, heavy, and angry, they are also really dumb. Most large predators in the north and wilds won't mess with you if you don't mess with them because you're not worth the effort. Moose just go for it completely unprovoked.
That’s terrifying. Hope there wasn’t anyone in the car at the time. Here in NY, I’ve never seen a moose in the wild, and I’d like to keep it that way. Beautiful creatures, but no way in hell I’d go near one
I was up in lake placid and had one that would not leave my car. At the time I was driving a red vehicle and it stood next to my car not leaving it foe almost two days.
But don't polar bears actively hunt humans?
@@epicgamernik76 they actively hunt anything that's edible I'm pretty sure
I thought we had it bad with alligators and venomous snakes. At least they won’t demolish your property.
The “country with bears, cougars and Florida” joke was the best one IMO, I laughed wayyy too hard🤣😭
I dont get it
Me too
@@buuch8760 look up Florida memes or Floridaman memes
I as a Floridian consent to this comment and that quote we got gators and the Everglades are a gator vs python jurassic park at this point and yes the occasional florida man doing some crazy shit but we can vibe on that phrase
You just corny looking for jokes
"Moossiah" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣... You earned yourself a subscriber on that joke alone 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Your humour can turn anything into enjoyable. All the best young friend👍
As a Canadian thank you for bringing awareness to the danger that Moose pose. We would have the same population as the US if we didn't loose so many Canadians yearly to Moose attacks. We are so terrified of the Moose that we are unable to publiczie or bring media attention to these forgotten Canadians, who bravely lose their lives so that the remaining 10% of us could survive till this modern day.
Do I detect a ne-fie joke?
Heil Moose!
Lolol ! Excellent post! Thank you!
I am the last of my generation. The only reason i have survived to this day is i found my late father's notes on metabolizing synthetic bull moose urine (he was a chemist) that he had completed just moments before he died. They (there were at least four i figured, by the tracks on his back) managed to take him out before he could distill it to protect himself, but, lucky for me moose aren't the best at understanding scientific nomenclature so they failed to truly understand the importance of his scratchings on the root cellar walls and thought it to be nothing more than the ramblings of a mad Canadian woodsman. I cannot blame them, for at the end he had indeed gone quite bonkers. As i lay in a tub of piss, all day, every day, i can't help but wonder if me finding it was blessing or a curse. I am alive, yes, but what kind of life is this?
@@stupidas9466 Damn i think i got cursed reading that
"And for those who know what a rut is, I know how you know... _I know how you know_ "
Such vague, yet powerful words. I feel so called out.
Furry, right? It's the only thing that fits!
@Andrew Cook Mmmm, not exactly. Alot of the whole rut thing involves Omegaverse stuff like fanfics or bls.
@@kalliedurley4525 Ah, I see. Thanks for clearing that up. Now I got a new kink to shame lol. JK
Honestly, same xD. I slapped my thighs feeling caught.
Its has the same energy as that homophobic dog meme captioned "i know what you are 0-0)"
In Banff, Alberta, Canada moose wander around like squirrels do in a normal city. My first day in Banff i turned the lights on inside the house and opened the curtains in the living room and there was a moose about 7' tall hunched over a bit with nose pressed against the sliding glass door.
They are pretty mellow, they just wander around being awesome :)
The best delivered narration ever, i could listen to this guy talk about anything!
didn't know how dangerous mooses were until i watched this guy
Benson
Benson why are you everwhere I just saw you at void now your here
D-dad?
as someone who lives in northern areas, my thought process on ducks, moose, and otters after watching this went from "haha funny animal wish i could pet one" to "abominations sent from the 7th ring of hell"
@@Ragtagmanager moosen*
"and for those who already know what a rut is... I know how you know"
*Ao3 readers start to sweat profusely
*Sweats in Hazbin Hotel fanfic enjoyer*
@COTTICA ELENA ayo true how he know??? hmmm?? 🤨🤨
He can't prove a damn thing!!
I aint see nun 😥😥😥
Does that mean he reads the smut versions too? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Excellent report. You did leave out their un-holy alliance with flying squirrels.
Moose are usually chill, never met an aggresive moose, and I'm glad for that.
I’ve visited family in Alaska. They’re so much bigger in person. Seeing them was rare, but seeing them in person out in the open made me feel small, and I’m 6’2
I thought you meant your family, mate...
Damn dude, how big are your family members my g???
He’s talking about moose
@@Tuggadsko lol this is underrated reply
I love these kinds conversations
6:00 love how that man just walked out of the shed, saw the moose and calmly went back in, like "im not dealing with that right now"
Though it looked like the shed would get torn to bits if the moose wanted to start anything. 😆
@@MandalorV7 haha that for sure, though it could definitely help with not angering the moose, out of sight out of mind hopefully works, otherwise... 😄
Moose was like: "Aye yo Jerry I see you walk in there man. Where's my Nature Valley bro? Where my Oat's n' Honey?"
@@soljathompson2446 Lmao! Why am I actually picturing that?
The Moosiah😂 slayed me!
I was once canoeing in a place called Emerald Lake in the Yukon Territory Canada. This is a Shallow Lake that's approximately three to three-and-a-half feet all the way along Lake a bull moose that was grazing the bottom of the lake saw me and took Chase. That moose nearly outrun myself and my two fellow occupants paddling as hard as we could in three and a half feet of water. It started at three hundred yards away. It's not only snow they can do 15 mph.
Had a friend in Canada years back who used to be a truck driver cross-country. He sent me a hell of a moose video once. (Sadly, this was in the late 90s, and it took forever to download on dial-up and was too big to actually keep back then.)
But anyway, one of his fellow truck drivers he sometimes worked with had pulled off the road due to a bad snow-storm (and this being Canada, you know it has to be bad to make a trucker pull over). He had taken out a camcorder and was just filming the storm and people trying to drive in it. After a few minutes of this, you see a big-@ss bull moose casually walk out onto the road on the other side of the highway, and just stand there for a couple seconds. This was right past a somewhat blind turn on the road, and the guy recording the video sets the camcorder down (still pointed at the moose), and tries to send out a warning on the CB radio to any other truckers coming down that road. Unfortunately, another big truck comes around the turn as he's giving the warning. You can see the other truck try to slow down a little bit, but with it being so sudden coming around the curve like that, and the road being covered in heavy snow, this doesn't do much. The moose just stands there and stares at the oncoming truck and doesn't move in the slightest. (It's worth noting this moose is tall enough he's basically looking the truck driver in the eye, despite this being an 18-wheeler.) As one might expect, the front of the truck basically accordions itself when it hits the moose. Completely totals it. The moose, meanwhile, just gets knocked over. Because of the size of the truck, it hit the moose broad-side in the body, instead of taking out the legs. A few moments later, the moose gets up, and I swear it just looked annoyed. Then it just trots off across the highway in the original direction it was going and into the woods on the other side. Both from the video and the guy's account, the moose did not even appear to be injured.
For anyone wondering, the driver of the truck that hit the moose actually did survive. According to the guy telling the story, the truck's engine was shoved inward but thankfully was mostly under where the guy was sitting. The dashboard crumpled and pinned his legs, but most of his injuries were related to the sudden deceleration. He was pretty bashed up, but apparently made a full recovery. He supposedly refused to drive truck again after that though, and found another job. Can't say I blame him.
Anyway, just wanted to share this crazy moose encounter.
I'd love to hear more from anyone else if anyone wants to share.
i lived up in algonquin, a provincial park in northern ontario canada, for about 4 and a half months during the summer. my roommate, on the day i arrived. has just been in an accident with a moose. her, her friend and her friends brother all survived, her and her friend with minor injuries but her friend's brother (who was sitting in the back seat) had three cracked vertebra in his neck. their car, which has originally been a sedan, got turned into a convertable, whole roof got taken off. honestly when i saw the photos i was amazed any of them had survived. her friend ended up taking the moose head (surprise the moose didn't survive) and getting it taxidermed and last i know of it, it was hanging over his fireplace.
@@whitemoonwolf13 Nice username. ~_^
But yeah, I'm shocked the moose didn't survive too. But glad your roommate and everyone made it out okay. Small cars don't usually fair too well against moose.
@@KeyWiteWolf Odd thing moose are very weak in the neck for whatever reason. And there have multiple accounts of bears shooting bull moose head off the bodies like bowling balls.
Ok off topic but have you ever had bear meat? You would think it would be too tough but that stuff is amazing.
@@Thewalliest Yeah, had it once actually. Had it in a stew. The person making the stew (an old friend's aunt) let me try a piece of the meat by itself before adding it (they cooked it part-way before putting it in the stew). They said it was a pretty tough meat, and that's why is it "better suited" for a stew. I do agree, it is a tough meat compared to the meat of say most prey animals, but it wasn't too bad. I do think she was right though about it being better in a stew. It has a strong taste, and that works great in a hearty stew. And she cooked it for a long time, so it was really tender by the time it was ready to eat. I highly recommend that kind of stew to anyone who likes a strong, rich flavor.
"For those of you who know what rut is, i know how you know"
*He knows TOO MUCH*
He really woke up and choose violence
He really just called us all out like that
@@Cheezebalz That he did, that he did.
Mans was staring into my SOUL 😂😂
@@synonymbuns7082 why did you know
I know this is late but I've been desperate looking in the comments for an answer-
I came across one of these in the woods once. I was about 30m away in a small trail. He looked at me, lowered is head and gave a thump and a scratch with his hoof. After a second or two of stunned silence at the size of the thing I walked backwards until out of sight and figured the long way around would give me some good exercise.
Your commentary on the Moose is out of this world awesome! 😂
Love Moose
“The moosiah… if you will” I lost it there 😂😂😂😂😂😂
😂 I like this guy man that was funny
right 😂😂😂😂😂
i literally spat my food hhhaahhahaahaha
That subtle Florida diss was hilarious too and I'm in Fl
Same
Visited my mother a while back and she was talking about this "sweet moose" that visits every now and again. As I was walking up the hill to the house (at night) it stood it's ground between me and the front gate. It was snowy and I was on a hill so even though my car wasn't far away, it might as well have been a mile. We stood and just stared at each other for a bit before it turned and just disappeared into the woods. I didn't spook it, but I also didn't see it until I heard it moving through the snow, so it likely saw me first and I could only guess it was either curious or my mother was feeding it. Turns out my sister was. Now I only go up there if I have a flashlight, good snow shoes, and clarification that the walkway has been shoveled. You think they look big in this video? Nah man, get a look at one in real life. Just, if you have the choice, view it from a safe distance.
yes yes they are.
When I was a 12 year old kid I got lured into orienteering. My parents thought it might suit me as I thought running was a boring waste of time as was just about all team sports, or cycling or anything else that might stress the cardiovascular system the least bit. Well orienteering was a lot more interesting than just running like a braindead automaton so I gave it a go. One day I was running through the forest taking the fast track to the next station. I plow through some bushes only to end up face to face with a moose. I bet there were twin furrows where I dug my heals in trying to stop as fast as fscking possible. Have anyone mentioned how large they are? To a 12 year old? At less than 3 meters (call it 10 feet)? Well, they are, huge that is.
I'm not sure how long we were staring at each other, probably not nearly as long as the twenty minutes it felt like. Then it just turned away and took a few steps and was gone. That part was equally strange. This was not the worlds densest forest so I should have been able to see it for quite some distance when I saw where it headed of. It might have to do with me turning back and diving through those bushes again, but seriously they do have an uncanny ability to blend in which is even more disturbing knowing just how big they are.
No that didn't make me give up orienteering, I just grew bored after a year or so when reading the map got to easy. Suddenly it was just as boring as any other kind of running, just with more swamps, sprained ankles and ticks. Lots of ticks!
Never saw another moose when orienteering though I did occasionally scare some smaller deer. Seen them cross the road quite a few times though.
Here is a hint. If you have moose or other deer crossing a road towards a steep slope then be very careful as it's not uncommon for them to come barreling down the slope to cross the road again.
Last summer I was up at a lake for a vacation when a mama moose and her baby were on the driveway of the house we were staying at, and, yeah, these things are fucking massive.
I lived on an acreage in high school and we had a moose up there. I saw a yearling and it stood taller than me in a slough I could still see the knees. But they are definitely huge.
What is it with vvomen and feeding wild animals? First stray cats that decimate bird populations, now moose that can decimate people. Before my grandpa got cancer, he told both my grandma and great aunt that if he caught them feeding anything other than the livestock, he'd shoot it. Now, we have a feral cat colony about 30 strong on the land, wild hogs, and coyotes running around. I've gotten rid of most of the hogs and coyotes, but the cats are like fuqing hydras.
Got no idea if you write your stuff or hire it, but it is TOP NOTCH! As is your delivery.
You are SO funny and clever in your humor! !Thanks for the fun education!
:)
On skiing holiday in Sweden a couple decades ago, I was chased by a moose in the middle of the night. Only reason I got away was because it was a very thick forest, and the moose was unable to sprint through the trees.
I still have nightmares about that monster. Only thing I could see at first was 2 glowing orbs way higher up than where you'd expect the eyes of a landanimal to be, only for them to suddenly close in at an alarming speed.
Oh my gosh.... that sounds awful.
Jesus, that has to be terrifying
Pretty sure I'd have nightmares to.
That's instant mudpie in my pants!
The chances of it being a Wendigo gives me heebie jeebies.
"and for those of you who know what rut is, I know how you know"
*sweats profusely*
How do you know? I don't get it.
@@ChillKyl I don’t get it either
@@ChillKyl yeah you dont wanna know
@@sunshineandrainbows99 I really want to know now
@@kiley2513 yeah im not sayin anything if you wanna know go ask someone else
This young man's descriptions are funny and educational at the same time.
My vocabulary grows every time I watch one of this man’s vids. 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
From now on I’ll only address moose as “overgrown all terrain vehicles with legs, antlers and audacity” thank you💅🤭😌👏
The rest of the world: “Let’s ride horses, their strong and even if they startle easily their easy to tra-“
The Soviet Union: “THE TIME HAS COME COMRADES, IT IS TIME FOR THE STEROID BATTLE DEER CAVALRY!!”
Moose and Grizzly Bears feel like two rival gangs constantly battling to see who’s more hot shit.
hell yea grizzly
and then orcas find some goddamn way to murk them both
Its moose
@@touxinz orcas are the cops lmao
With Orcas being the real big bad that comes in the claps both of them
"The Moosiah". Ayo...... your brand of comedy is the most different, genius shit I've ever seen on here 😂. The way you be saying all this funny but dead ass factual and true shit about the animal kingdom and how they relate to us in so many ways is next level FUNNY. This man needs his own comedy show LOL
I love these guys. They are extraordinary and that makes them beautiful!
Considering how dangerous a moose can be, a Megaloceras or "Irish" elk, must've been something else. At up to 1500 pounds and 6'11 at the shoulder, Megaloceras wasn't that much bigger than the largest moose, but it did pack the largest antlers of any deer at up to *12 feet across* and *88* pounds. As for the biggest deer ever, that honor goes to the broad fronted "moose", Cervalces latifrons that weighed in at 2,200 pounds but could possibly get up to 2,600 and had antlers that were only 8 feet wide. Yeah.
Worthless that's what it was
Yeah, those battles must've been epic. Although those antlers are a lot less impressive when you learn they're a contributing factor for why Megaloceros died out.
On top of not being well suited for dense forests for obvious reason, a rack that big requires nutrients that, in a progressively cooling earth, became harder for the Meg to find.
Humans: “I swear moose now are gigantic and terrifying-“
The even larger homicidal steroid deer from the past with antlers as big as people: “You wanna see Moosaih?”
the megaloceros were just hunted down by early humans
Nerd points. 🤘🥰👏
"for an animal deadass big enough and tall enough to have its own wi-fi"
this one killed me 😂👌
Also your pic wins
If you're late with the rent, the Geese send the Moose to collect.
I ain't even hatin for the little message at the end fairplay bruva, appreciate the honesty and just lol
"Failing to meet a moose's expectations is exactly how heaven gains angels."
HAHAHA!
That one also had me 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
"The Moosiah. If you will." The algorithm never fails.
Omnimoosiah, protect us!
@@DaxanDaxter The algorithm brings me things I will enjoy, and yes I understand what algorithms are and how to make them. Question is, what's wrong with you, bruh.
@@DaxanDaxter woah ! take a breather chief..
3:10
The Sarcasm is on another level 💯 🔥 🤣🤣🤣
in case anyone is wondering just how far a moose might swim: there was once a moose that swam at least 46 nautical miles from Sweden to Bornholm
"I know how you know... I know how you know" has GOT to be the most intimidating thing I've heard
@@tynj4173 It's a joke, because the rut thing is about sex and there are so many ways (some of them NSFW) people find out about rut, and almost none of them people are willing to admit to
@@tynj4173he's referring to A/B/O
@@bigawesomewatermelon9511 .....I'm terrified to ask but what is that?
@@LSHEVV I'm not even sure how to explain it. I only know about it because I find it so often looking for kinks I do have.
@@LSHEVV you don't wanna know fam
That line, “sometimes moose just cut out the middle man and go straight to the hospital themselves” 🤣🤣🤣🤣 oh man
Dats moose said "I'm ready 4 an round 2 on dat ass" damn 🤦🏿♂️🤦🏿♂️😂😂😂😂😂😂
Loved that one 🇨🇦
People trying to ride moose into battle reminds me of King Thranduil 😂
You are awesome young man. Great reporting and you don't get cought up on yourself.
I used to know some guys who drove a lumber truck in Nova Scotia. This huge vehicle was essentially built to haul piles of felled cedar trees and it was a beast. One night they encountered a bull moose in rut who decided that it didn't want to share the road and charged them head on. They didn't have time to react as this tower of doom deer emerged from the darkness and smashed clean into their grill. The moose died, but took their front axle with it. Yeah, Bullwinkle cracked the front axle of a lumber truck!
Holy hell the front axle!!??
@@kitsunelee007 He said it was a fine crack, but it was there.
I like how u said “the moose died” as if that would be surprising after he’ve just got his ass flattened on the road by some fat truck
@@Durcy it would honestly not have surprised me if that moose somehow survived that.
"To those who already know what rut is, I know how you know..."
me with my long list of omegaverse manhwa/mangas: 🕴
My over 1000 wattpad fics: 👁👄👁💧
Same
Nah that’s what I’m sayin😭
Heresy! The only way to know about rut is playing Trials In Tainted Space.
My over 100 Yaoi Sites and omega verse Wattpad stories he knows
Your vids are FKNG AWESOME !!! Y? Because of your vocabulary & style. This moose episode had me rowling !😂😂😂
I love this guys delivery and knowledge.
"And failing to meet a moose's expectations is exactly how heaven gains angles" is a great line. Might change it and use it for a DnD dragon or something
Angles instead of angels is definitely my favorite typo
@@pugsabi Ah man, the *one* time i didn't check my spelling
Probably Bad RPG Idea: A dragon that is terrified of moose, especially baby moose